May 5, 2025 • 19 mins
Ever wondered what truly lies at the heart of sustainable wellness? It all begins with how you treat yourself.
Welcome to a soul-nourishing exploration of the heart chakra and its profound connection to self-relationship. This week, we're diving deep into what it means to cultivate genuine, unconditional love for yourself—not as an act of selfishness, but as the foundation for all other relationships in your life.
Many of us, especially those in helping professions, have been conditioned to believe self-focus is somehow selfish. I invite you to question where these limiting beliefs originated. Are you carrying outdated schemas from childhood that no longer serve who you've become? That inner voice that rides with you all day shapes everything—and transforming it begins with awareness.
Throughout this episode, I share practical strategies for building a healthy relationship with yourself, from validating your own emotions (something many of us weren't taught as children) to setting clear boundaries that prevent resentment. You'll discover how physical self-soothing techniques release oxytocin during moments of self-criticism, why finding your professional niche prevents burnout, and how making your life so full of joy-bringing activities naturally crowds out negativity.
As I often remind my clients and myself, this isn't about perfectionism—it's about acceptance and compassion. When we embrace both our strengths and weaknesses without judgment, we create space for true healing. The science confirms it: mindfulness practices, boundary-setting, and self-compassion significantly reduce stress while building resilience.
Ready to transform your relationship with yourself? Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts, and visit juliemerriman.com to join my email list for free weekly resources that complement each episode. Your journey to SoulJoy begins with one simple choice—choosing yourself.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey y'all.
I'm Dr Julie Merriman andwelcome to SoulJoy.
This week, we're still talkingabout the heart chakra because,
my friend, this is a verynecessary component of holistic,
sustainable self-care, alsoknown as wellness.
More specifically, we're goingto look at a healthy
(00:23):
relationship with yourself.
All right, hey you, how's itgoing?
I hope that you are having agreat day and I just want to
thank you for hanging out withme for just a hot minute to talk
about self-care and all thatgreat stuff.
(00:46):
It's important, it really is.
So what's been going on with methis week?
I tell you what.
I have really fallen in lovewith my audiobooks.
Anybody, anybody.
I mean, if I'm out using myelectric chainsaw cleaning up
(01:06):
some cedar, I've got myaudiobook going.
Or if I'm driving, I've got myaudiobook going, except for when
my beloved is with me.
I, we talk, but um.
Or if I'm cleaning the house, Idon't, I just um.
I love my audio books.
I find it to be one of myreally top-notch self-care
(01:27):
things that I do for myself andwhen I'm really doing my chill,
I'll put on my audio book and Ihave a coloring app on my phone
and that I'd rather do that thango out to dinner.
It is so relaxing.
So I'd like to know what y'alldo to relax.
Shoot me a line.
(01:47):
I just I'm interested.
What are we doing to helpourselves relax out there?
All right, okay, professionalhelpers.
This podcast is dedicated topreventing and overcoming the
occupational hazards of thisamazing career that we've chosen
, and I'm specifically lookingat overcoming and preventing
(02:10):
burnout, compassion, fatigue andvicarious trauma.
And I've got a book called InPursuit of Soul Joy.
It's a 12-week guide to helpyou get over this stuff.
So hop on over to my website orAmazon and grab you a copy if
you think those might be somethings you're struggling with.
Okay, so this week we aretalking about a healthy
(02:36):
relationship with yourself.
I take a deep dive on this inthe book, but let's take a deep
dive here, y'all.
A healthy relationship withyourself involves valuing,
respecting and prioritizing yourown well-being.
It's not being selfish, it'snot being conceited.
(02:58):
My daddy would always take methere when I was maybe feeling a
little good about myself.
He would cut me at my knees,and I'm sure it's something
generational that he didn't wantme to have too big a head.
But I'm here to invite you thatit is absolutely healthy to
have a healthy relationship withyourself.
This is about showing yourselfkindness and understanding and
(03:22):
patience, even when you're notperfect.
Now last week we went overperfectly imperfect, so you
might.
If you missed that podcast, Iinvite you to hop back a week.
I think it's episode nine andlisten to that.
But we've got to embrace notbeing perfect, and this means
(03:43):
acknowledging your needs andpracticing kind and holistic
self-care, and a part ofself-care is setting those
boundaries that you need to set.
I know I talk about this a loton the podcast but, my friend,
that's because so often I seefolks not doing this simple
(04:05):
thing for themselves.
The relationship we have withourselves influences all of our
relationships and if youstruggle with being nice to
yourself, I want you to askyourself why.
Where in the hell does thatcome from?
Ask yourself why, where in thehell does that come from?
(04:30):
Again, is it old schema thatyou've not taken time to clear
out the cobwebs on and clean outand retool to fit where you are
today?
We're no longer those children.
We're grown-ass adults and weneed to understand why we might
be struggling with some things.
So if you struggle with beingnice to yourself, I want you to
(04:53):
really dig down and ask yourselfwhy Maybe set the timer for
five minutes and do a brain dumpwhere you're just writing
everything.
Dump where you're just writingeverything, you're just a flow
of consciousness and you're justwriting, to see if that why
might show itself.
See, you deserve to be valued.
(05:13):
You deserve a healthy,energy-infused self-relationship
.
You need to make time for allthe self-practices that lead to
this healthy relationship.
I outline a plethora of thesepractices on this podcast.
(05:35):
So if you're just stumblingacross the podcast or if you've
not made time, go back toepisode one season one, episode
one time.
Go back to episode one, seasonone, episode one, and listen to
all, all the tools that I giveyou that help you with healthy
self-practices.
They, my friend, are thecornerstone to a happy life sans
(06:00):
burnout and compassion, fatigueY'all.
I'm talking about unconditionallove for yourself, and this
includes your self-talk.
You know that voice that ridesaround with you all day in your
head.
You need a kind, nourishingself-talk to allow you to get to
(06:21):
a place of unconditional lovewhere you have a healthy
relationship with self.
And as I say that, I'm remindedof my sweet hubby.
He's so kind to me.
I mean, he has taught me somuch about how to be loved
unconditionally, about how to beloved unconditionally.
(06:43):
He can tell when I'm beatingmyself up about something and he
holds me accountable, like youknow, he calls me out.
He reminds me of all I'veaccomplished and how hard I've
tried and how difficult the taskwas that I accomplished.
Difficult, the task was, that Iaccomplished, and it's just
(07:06):
amazing.
He just helps me see how farI've come.
He's I mean, I know not everyoneis as lucky to have such an
amazing man in their life or anamazing spouse or friend in
their life, but y'all, he modelsfor me what unconditional love
looks like and how it feels.
And he's the.
I never had that until I methim.
He's a gift from God, I knowthis.
(07:29):
But through his modeling thatfor me, I'm able to do that for
myself and then I model thatback to him.
It's just the yin and the yangworks.
But if you don't have someonein your life doing that for you,
you can do that for you.
See, we don't all have thisbeacon that he is to help, but
(07:57):
you can be that beacon foryourself.
You need to remember to be niceto yourself and develop a kind
and loving relationship thatbegins with self-talk and that
begins with complete acceptanceof self, which you're throwing
perfectionism out the window andyou're getting real.
(08:18):
You know, none of us areperfect and it's important for
you to be your best friend, tobe very nice to yourself.
So, okay, before I go into theactivity I've planned for you
today, I want you to pleasesubscribe to my email list so
you can get this weekly emailthat I fix up for you.
(08:39):
That's got.
Want you to please subscribe tomy email list so you can get
this weekly email that I fix upfor you.
That's got a link to thepodcast and also a link to the
PDF I create of the activity I'mabout to go over.
All you have to do is jump overto my email list on at
wwwJulieMerrymanPhDcom.
(08:59):
Okay, easy, breezy, it's allfree.
I do this because my mission,my mission in life, is to try to
help annihilate burnout,compassion, fatigue and
vicarious trauma, and arehelping professionals and really
(09:19):
in anyone.
As I say a lot, this podcast isfor anyone who stumbles across
it and finds value in it.
Okay, so the activity I haveplanned for you today I have
called Healthy Relationship withSelf Workbook, and here's a
more detailed look at how tocultivate a healthy relationship
(09:41):
with yourself.
I've just spent a few minutestalking about why it's important
.
So now I'm going to lay out howto make it happen for yourself,
and first I'm going to take abig sip out of my pink cup.
Got to keep water handy, okay.
So first we want to look atself-awareness and acceptance,
(10:04):
and in this you want to check inwith yourself.
You want to regularly reflecton your thoughts, feelings and
needs.
That's where journaling comesin, very important.
That's where holding space foryourself comes in.
I've got podcasts on all thosetopics.
Next you want to validate yourfeelings.
(10:24):
That could be kind of tricky.
I found over the last 30 yearsof being a counselor and really
the last 61 years of life, sooften as children we're not,
especially those of us in theboomer generation or the is it
Gen X?
Those, the ones raised in 60s,70s, 80s, even 90s, before the
(10:49):
gentle parenting, which I don'tknow a lot about, but I've seen
some social media on the gentleparenting but so often as kids,
kids our feelings are notvalidated.
We are crying about somethingand our parent will say I'll
give you something to cry about.
You're fine, and immediatelythat invalidates our little
(11:10):
inner workings on how to trustourselves, like oh, oh.
He says I'm fine.
Well then, how I'm feeling mustnot be valid.
So let me reboot.
Okay, I'm fine.
Parents don't do it to be mean.
I didn't do it to be mean to mykids.
We parent out of wherever ourbrokenness is, and sometimes
(11:32):
it's hard for parents to dealwith feelings, so they'd rather
shut those feelings down thanvalidate them for the child and
let the child experience that.
And then we arrive in adulthoodnot really understanding how to
validate our feelings.
So I'm inviting you to getright with validating your
feelings.
You've got to acknowledge andaccept your emotions without any
(11:54):
judgment.
It's not worth judging.
And you've got to recognizethat, yes, they are valid.
Now, society might not likethat emotion, your partner might
not agree with that emotion,but it does not invalidate your
emotion.
You've got to have thatinternal locus of control and be
able to say no, jules, I'mtalking to myself.
(12:17):
No, self, I do feel that way.
I'm going to hold space toexperience that feeling and see
what it is.
I need to feel validated inthat feeling so I can move on
through it.
Okay, next, you want to practiceself-compassion.
Treat yourself with the samekindness and understanding you
(12:38):
would offer a loved one I talk alot about self-compassion.
You are worth practicingself-compassion.
Next, you need to forgiveyourself.
Everyone makes mistakes, solearn to forgive yourself for
past errors.
We all have them.
We've all got areas.
(12:59):
You know those dark corners ofour world that we're a bit
ashamed of some shit we mighthave done in the past.
I invite you to forgiveyourself.
Let it go.
When we know better, we dobetter.
You're no longer that person.
Quit beating yourself up for it.
(13:20):
Then embrace your strengths andweaknesses.
We all have them.
Acknowledge your positiveattributes while accepting your
imperfections.
Then we're going to move intoself-care and prioritization.
Prioritization Make time foryourself.
Schedule activities that bringjoy and allow you to relax and
(13:42):
recharge.
I say this a lot we're nottrying to act stuff out of our
life.
We're trying to make our lifeso full of things that bring us
joy.
There's no space for that otherstuff.
You want to prioritize yourphysical needs.
Make sure you're getting enoughsleep, eating good and engaging
in regular physical activity.
(14:03):
Get up a few minutes earlier.
Make sure you have time toexercise.
You want to practice mindfulnessand meditation.
These are techniques that helpyou become more present and
reduce stress, and y'allneuroscience backs this up.
There's research that shows theimportance of this mindfulness
and meditation and you want toengage in hobbies and interests,
(14:24):
pursue activities that sparkyour passion and allow you to
express yourself, like I wastalking about my audiobooks that
sparks so much passion.
I enjoy those stories, I enjoycoloring and I enjoy the
calmness that I get from thatactivity.
Find one for yourself.
Okay, now let's look at settingboundaries and boundaries so
(14:53):
I've got a whole podcast on thisbut say no when needed, kick
feeling obligated to the curb.
You don't need to do things thatdrain your energy or conflict
with your values and y'all this.
Also, you need to be nichingdown to a clientele that does
not drain you.
You need to be serving clientsthat bring you.
(15:15):
I mean, we're all going to gettired.
The work we do is hard, but youknow the clients that drain you
and you look on your calendarand you kind of go oh, don't
schedule those clients.
Refer them out to someone thatwill be their niche therapist.
That type of client brings thattherapist a spark of energy.
(15:36):
Know your niche clientele.
Have the courage to serve thatclientele.
Learn to assert yourself.
Communicate your needs anddesires clearly and respectfully
.
Don't pussyfoot around.
Be very direct and assertive,not aggressive.
(15:57):
Assertive in that communicationand set boundaries with others
and with your clients.
When you don't set boundaries,you're going to end up being
resentful and you have no one toblame but that person in the
mirror.
You own your boundaries and youhave the right to set them.
Define the limits of acceptablebehavior and relationships to
(16:21):
protect your well-being.
It's okay.
Next, you want to focus onbuilding self-esteem and
confidence.
You want to practice gratitude,confidence.
You want to practice gratitude,focus on positive aspects of
your life and appreciate yourblessings.
I had something come up justthis morning when I opened an
(16:43):
email and it was disappointment.
I had hoped some time I wasgoing to get to spend with
someone would look one way andwhen I opened the email and saw
the agenda I realized it wasgoing to look another way.
I wasn't going to get to spendas much time as I was hoping
with this person and the firstplace I went was negative and I
(17:03):
had to.
I had to go whoo, julie,elizabeth, back it up.
We're going to be grateful andpractice some gratitude that at
least you get to see this personand spend what time you get to
spend right.
Instead of being negative,nelly, I can be positive and
have gratitude for it.
Appreciate your blessings andthis is a blessing to get to
(17:25):
spend a hot minute with thisperson.
Challenge negative self-talk.
Replace critical thoughts withpositive affirmations and
self-encouragement.
Instead of saying, well, thatwas stupid.
You pat your face, release thatoxytocin, you rub your hand,
you pat your shoulders and yousay Julie, your amygdala needs
(17:48):
to hear your name.
Bob, betty, whatever you sayyour name, julie, sweetness, you
did the best you could.
It's going to be okay.
Life goes on.
I mean you, instead of beatingyourself up, you reframe and get
some oxytocin released intoyour system so you can feel more
(18:08):
grounded and then celebrateyour accomplishments.
This is something I strugglewith.
I'm the.
I never show up to.
You know, I'm not proud to sayit, but I never show up to
receive my certificates andstuff.
I really do better at that.
But acknowledge yourachievements, no matter how
small, and feel proud of yourprogress.
(18:32):
Okay.
So by incorporating thesepractices into your daily life,
you can cultivate a stronger,more fulfilling relationship
with yourself, a healthier wayto talk to yourself, and this is
going to lead to greaterself-esteem, confidence and
(18:54):
y'all.
That's wellness, that's overallwell-being.
That is the veritabledefinition that I have for
holistic, sustainable self-care,also known as wellness.
All right, friends.
That is it for today.
Subscribe to my podcast.
(19:16):
Wherever you listen to podcasts, leave me a review to help me
reach more people and know whatyou'd like to hear on the
podcast.
And, until next time, take careof you.
Hey y'all.
I'm Dr Julie Merriman andwelcome to SoulJoy.
This week, we're still talkingabout the heart chakra because,
my friend, this is a verynecessary component of holistic,
sustainable self-care, alsoknown as wellness.
More specifically, we're goingto look at a healthy
(00:23):
relationship with yourself.
All right, hey you, how's itgoing?
I hope that you are having agreat day and I just want to
thank you for hanging out withme for just a hot minute to talk
about self-care and all thatgreat stuff.
(00:46):
It's important, it really is.
So what's been going on with methis week?
I tell you what.
I have really fallen in lovewith my audiobooks.
Anybody, anybody.
I mean, if I'm out using myelectric chainsaw cleaning up
(01:06):
some cedar, I've got myaudiobook going.
Or if I'm driving, I've got myaudiobook going, except for when
my beloved is with me.
I, we talk, but um.
Or if I'm cleaning the house, Idon't, I just um.
I love my audio books.
I find it to be one of myreally top-notch self-care
(01:27):
things that I do for myself andwhen I'm really doing my chill,
I'll put on my audio book and Ihave a coloring app on my phone
and that I'd rather do that thango out to dinner.
It is so relaxing.
So I'd like to know what y'alldo to relax.
Shoot me a line.
(01:47):
I just I'm interested.
What are we doing to helpourselves relax out there?
All right, okay, professionalhelpers.
This podcast is dedicated topreventing and overcoming the
occupational hazards of thisamazing career that we've chosen
, and I'm specifically lookingat overcoming and preventing
(02:10):
burnout, compassion, fatigue andvicarious trauma.
And I've got a book called InPursuit of Soul Joy.
It's a 12-week guide to helpyou get over this stuff.
So hop on over to my website orAmazon and grab you a copy if
you think those might be somethings you're struggling with.
Okay, so this week we aretalking about a healthy
(02:36):
relationship with yourself.
I take a deep dive on this inthe book, but let's take a deep
dive here, y'all.
A healthy relationship withyourself involves valuing,
respecting and prioritizing yourown well-being.
It's not being selfish, it'snot being conceited.
(02:58):
My daddy would always take methere when I was maybe feeling a
little good about myself.
He would cut me at my knees,and I'm sure it's something
generational that he didn't wantme to have too big a head.
But I'm here to invite you thatit is absolutely healthy to
have a healthy relationship withyourself.
This is about showing yourselfkindness and understanding and
(03:22):
patience, even when you're notperfect.
Now last week we went overperfectly imperfect, so you
might.
If you missed that podcast, Iinvite you to hop back a week.
I think it's episode nine andlisten to that.
But we've got to embrace notbeing perfect, and this means
(03:43):
acknowledging your needs andpracticing kind and holistic
self-care, and a part ofself-care is setting those
boundaries that you need to set.
I know I talk about this a loton the podcast but, my friend,
that's because so often I seefolks not doing this simple
(04:05):
thing for themselves.
The relationship we have withourselves influences all of our
relationships and if youstruggle with being nice to
yourself, I want you to askyourself why.
Where in the hell does thatcome from?
Ask yourself why, where in thehell does that come from?
(04:30):
Again, is it old schema thatyou've not taken time to clear
out the cobwebs on and clean outand retool to fit where you are
today?
We're no longer those children.
We're grown-ass adults and weneed to understand why we might
be struggling with some things.
So if you struggle with beingnice to yourself, I want you to
(04:53):
really dig down and ask yourselfwhy Maybe set the timer for
five minutes and do a brain dumpwhere you're just writing
everything.
Dump where you're just writingeverything, you're just a flow
of consciousness and you're justwriting, to see if that why
might show itself.
See, you deserve to be valued.
(05:13):
You deserve a healthy,energy-infused self-relationship
.
You need to make time for allthe self-practices that lead to
this healthy relationship.
I outline a plethora of thesepractices on this podcast.
(05:35):
So if you're just stumblingacross the podcast or if you've
not made time, go back toepisode one season one, episode
one time.
Go back to episode one, seasonone, episode one, and listen to
all, all the tools that I giveyou that help you with healthy
self-practices.
They, my friend, are thecornerstone to a happy life sans
(06:00):
burnout and compassion, fatigueY'all.
I'm talking about unconditionallove for yourself, and this
includes your self-talk.
You know that voice that ridesaround with you all day in your
head.
You need a kind, nourishingself-talk to allow you to get to
(06:21):
a place of unconditional lovewhere you have a healthy
relationship with self.
And as I say that, I'm remindedof my sweet hubby.
He's so kind to me.
I mean, he has taught me somuch about how to be loved
unconditionally, about how to beloved unconditionally.
(06:43):
He can tell when I'm beatingmyself up about something and he
holds me accountable, like youknow, he calls me out.
He reminds me of all I'veaccomplished and how hard I've
tried and how difficult the taskwas that I accomplished.
Difficult, the task was, that Iaccomplished, and it's just
(07:06):
amazing.
He just helps me see how farI've come.
He's I mean, I know not everyoneis as lucky to have such an
amazing man in their life or anamazing spouse or friend in
their life, but y'all, he modelsfor me what unconditional love
looks like and how it feels.
And he's the.
I never had that until I methim.
He's a gift from God, I knowthis.
(07:29):
But through his modeling thatfor me, I'm able to do that for
myself and then I model thatback to him.
It's just the yin and the yangworks.
But if you don't have someonein your life doing that for you,
you can do that for you.
See, we don't all have thisbeacon that he is to help, but
(07:57):
you can be that beacon foryourself.
You need to remember to be niceto yourself and develop a kind
and loving relationship thatbegins with self-talk and that
begins with complete acceptanceof self, which you're throwing
perfectionism out the window andyou're getting real.
(08:18):
You know, none of us areperfect and it's important for
you to be your best friend, tobe very nice to yourself.
So, okay, before I go into theactivity I've planned for you
today, I want you to pleasesubscribe to my email list so
you can get this weekly emailthat I fix up for you.
(08:39):
That's got.
Want you to please subscribe tomy email list so you can get
this weekly email that I fix upfor you.
That's got a link to thepodcast and also a link to the
PDF I create of the activity I'mabout to go over.
All you have to do is jump overto my email list on at
wwwJulieMerrymanPhDcom.
(08:59):
Okay, easy, breezy, it's allfree.
I do this because my mission,my mission in life, is to try to
help annihilate burnout,compassion, fatigue and
vicarious trauma, and arehelping professionals and really
(09:19):
in anyone.
As I say a lot, this podcast isfor anyone who stumbles across
it and finds value in it.
Okay, so the activity I haveplanned for you today I have
called Healthy Relationship withSelf Workbook, and here's a
more detailed look at how tocultivate a healthy relationship
(09:41):
with yourself.
I've just spent a few minutestalking about why it's important
.
So now I'm going to lay out howto make it happen for yourself,
and first I'm going to take abig sip out of my pink cup.
Got to keep water handy, okay.
So first we want to look atself-awareness and acceptance,
(10:04):
and in this you want to check inwith yourself.
You want to regularly reflecton your thoughts, feelings and
needs.
That's where journaling comesin, very important.
That's where holding space foryourself comes in.
I've got podcasts on all thosetopics.
Next you want to validate yourfeelings.
(10:24):
That could be kind of tricky.
I found over the last 30 yearsof being a counselor and really
the last 61 years of life, sooften as children we're not,
especially those of us in theboomer generation or the is it
Gen X?
Those, the ones raised in 60s,70s, 80s, even 90s, before the
(10:49):
gentle parenting, which I don'tknow a lot about, but I've seen
some social media on the gentleparenting but so often as kids,
kids our feelings are notvalidated.
We are crying about somethingand our parent will say I'll
give you something to cry about.
You're fine, and immediatelythat invalidates our little
(11:10):
inner workings on how to trustourselves, like oh, oh.
He says I'm fine.
Well then, how I'm feeling mustnot be valid.
So let me reboot.
Okay, I'm fine.
Parents don't do it to be mean.
I didn't do it to be mean to mykids.
We parent out of wherever ourbrokenness is, and sometimes
(11:32):
it's hard for parents to dealwith feelings, so they'd rather
shut those feelings down thanvalidate them for the child and
let the child experience that.
And then we arrive in adulthoodnot really understanding how to
validate our feelings.
So I'm inviting you to getright with validating your
feelings.
You've got to acknowledge andaccept your emotions without any
(11:54):
judgment.
It's not worth judging.
And you've got to recognizethat, yes, they are valid.
Now, society might not likethat emotion, your partner might
not agree with that emotion,but it does not invalidate your
emotion.
You've got to have thatinternal locus of control and be
able to say no, jules, I'mtalking to myself.
(12:17):
No, self, I do feel that way.
I'm going to hold space toexperience that feeling and see
what it is.
I need to feel validated inthat feeling so I can move on
through it.
Okay, next, you want to practiceself-compassion.
Treat yourself with the samekindness and understanding you
(12:38):
would offer a loved one I talk alot about self-compassion.
You are worth practicingself-compassion.
Next, you need to forgiveyourself.
Everyone makes mistakes, solearn to forgive yourself for
past errors.
We all have them.
We've all got areas.
(12:59):
You know those dark corners ofour world that we're a bit
ashamed of some shit we mighthave done in the past.
I invite you to forgiveyourself.
Let it go.
When we know better, we dobetter.
You're no longer that person.
Quit beating yourself up for it.
(13:20):
Then embrace your strengths andweaknesses.
We all have them.
Acknowledge your positiveattributes while accepting your
imperfections.
Then we're going to move intoself-care and prioritization.
Prioritization Make time foryourself.
Schedule activities that bringjoy and allow you to relax and
(13:42):
recharge.
I say this a lot we're nottrying to act stuff out of our
life.
We're trying to make our lifeso full of things that bring us
joy.
There's no space for that otherstuff.
You want to prioritize yourphysical needs.
Make sure you're getting enoughsleep, eating good and engaging
in regular physical activity.
(14:03):
Get up a few minutes earlier.
Make sure you have time toexercise.
You want to practice mindfulnessand meditation.
These are techniques that helpyou become more present and
reduce stress, and y'allneuroscience backs this up.
There's research that shows theimportance of this mindfulness
and meditation and you want toengage in hobbies and interests,
(14:24):
pursue activities that sparkyour passion and allow you to
express yourself, like I wastalking about my audiobooks that
sparks so much passion.
I enjoy those stories, I enjoycoloring and I enjoy the
calmness that I get from thatactivity.
Find one for yourself.
Okay, now let's look at settingboundaries and boundaries so
(14:53):
I've got a whole podcast on thisbut say no when needed, kick
feeling obligated to the curb.
You don't need to do things thatdrain your energy or conflict
with your values and y'all this.
Also, you need to be nichingdown to a clientele that does
not drain you.
You need to be serving clientsthat bring you.
(15:15):
I mean, we're all going to gettired.
The work we do is hard, but youknow the clients that drain you
and you look on your calendarand you kind of go oh, don't
schedule those clients.
Refer them out to someone thatwill be their niche therapist.
That type of client brings thattherapist a spark of energy.
(15:36):
Know your niche clientele.
Have the courage to serve thatclientele.
Learn to assert yourself.
Communicate your needs anddesires clearly and respectfully
.
Don't pussyfoot around.
Be very direct and assertive,not aggressive.
(15:57):
Assertive in that communicationand set boundaries with others
and with your clients.
When you don't set boundaries,you're going to end up being
resentful and you have no one toblame but that person in the
mirror.
You own your boundaries and youhave the right to set them.
Define the limits of acceptablebehavior and relationships to
(16:21):
protect your well-being.
It's okay.
Next, you want to focus onbuilding self-esteem and
confidence.
You want to practice gratitude,confidence.
You want to practice gratitude,focus on positive aspects of
your life and appreciate yourblessings.
I had something come up justthis morning when I opened an
(16:43):
email and it was disappointment.
I had hoped some time I wasgoing to get to spend with
someone would look one way andwhen I opened the email and saw
the agenda I realized it wasgoing to look another way.
I wasn't going to get to spendas much time as I was hoping
with this person and the firstplace I went was negative and I
(17:03):
had to.
I had to go whoo, julie,elizabeth, back it up.
We're going to be grateful andpractice some gratitude that at
least you get to see this personand spend what time you get to
spend right.
Instead of being negative,nelly, I can be positive and
have gratitude for it.
Appreciate your blessings andthis is a blessing to get to
(17:25):
spend a hot minute with thisperson.
Challenge negative self-talk.
Replace critical thoughts withpositive affirmations and
self-encouragement.
Instead of saying, well, thatwas stupid.
You pat your face, release thatoxytocin, you rub your hand,
you pat your shoulders and yousay Julie, your amygdala needs
(17:48):
to hear your name.
Bob, betty, whatever you sayyour name, julie, sweetness, you
did the best you could.
It's going to be okay.
Life goes on.
I mean you, instead of beatingyourself up, you reframe and get
some oxytocin released intoyour system so you can feel more
(18:08):
grounded and then celebrateyour accomplishments.
This is something I strugglewith.
I'm the.
I never show up to.
You know, I'm not proud to sayit, but I never show up to
receive my certificates andstuff.
I really do better at that.
But acknowledge yourachievements, no matter how
small, and feel proud of yourprogress.
(18:32):
Okay.
So by incorporating thesepractices into your daily life,
you can cultivate a stronger,more fulfilling relationship
with yourself, a healthier wayto talk to yourself, and this is
going to lead to greaterself-esteem, confidence and
(18:54):
y'all.
That's wellness, that's overallwell-being.
That is the veritabledefinition that I have for
holistic, sustainable self-care,also known as wellness.
All right, friends.
That is it for today.
Subscribe to my podcast.
(19:16):
Wherever you listen to podcasts, leave me a review to help me
reach more people and know whatyou'd like to hear on the
podcast.
And, until next time, take careof you.
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