June 30, 2025 • 26 mins
Setting boundaries isn't just a skill—it's a vital energy practice connected to your throat chakra that prevents burnout and sustains your capacity to help others.
When your throat chakra—the energy center of communication and self-expression located in your throat—is balanced and flowing, you speak your truth confidently, express needs clearly, and establish limits that honor your wellbeing. But when blocked, you'll likely struggle to say "no," feel perpetually unheard, or even develop physical symptoms in your throat.
For helping professionals, this connection proves profoundly important. We readily absorb others' emotional energy while giving so much of ourselves. Without clear boundaries, we inevitably burn out, become resentful, and diminish our effectiveness. Your throat chakra operates as both your voice and your protective shield, allowing you to process and release absorbed energies rather than letting them overwhelm your system.
Strengthening these boundaries requires consistent practice: pausing before speaking to ensure what you're saying is true, kind, and necessary; using "I" statements that express your needs without blaming; engaging in vocal activities like singing or humming; visualizing bright blue energy at your throat; identifying your boundary triggers; and giving yourself explicit permission to say "no" without guilt. Remember that saying "no" to one request means saying "yes" to your own wellbeing and long-term capacity to serve effectively.
The Boundary Blueprint framework offers a practical structure for crafting clear, assertive statements: acknowledge the other person's needs, express your own needs using "I" language, state the boundary clearly, and when appropriate, offer an alternative solution. This approach honors both yourself and the other person while establishing necessary limits.
Building strong boundaries requires self-awareness, courage, and compassion for yourself. When you prioritize your boundaries, you become more effective, more present, and ultimately more resilient in your important work. Think of your throat chakra as the volume knob for your personal power—when properly balanced, you'll speak your truth with confidence and establish the clear limits that allow you to truly thrive.
Subscribe to the Soul Joy podcast and join our email list at juliemerriman-phd.com for weekly bonus PDF activities to support your journey toward sustainable self-care.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey y'all, I'm Dr Julie Merriman and welcome to
Soul Joy.
Today we're diving deep into atopic that's absolutely crucial
for your well-being andeffectiveness boundaries and how
they connect to a powerfulenergy center within us, the
(00:20):
throat chakra.
Because y'all this is a verynecessary component of holistic,
sustainable self-care, alsoknown as wellness.
All right, all right, welcomeback to the soul joy podcast,
the show dedicated to supportingyou, the incredible individuals
(00:45):
who are dedicated to helpingothers.
You've dedicated your lives tohelping others.
Thank you for that.
So we're going to start with alittle home chat.
As always and this is kind ofan interesting subject my
husband and I just happened uponit, I've told y'all we're on,
(01:08):
we do that monthly kit to kindof liven up the bedroom, if you
will.
And anyway, this month it wasabout Tantra and not the Neo
kind of stuff.
That's kind of, I'm gonna say,out there, not to offend anyone,
for me it was a bit out therebut the, the old, the, the
(01:32):
ancient tantra, where youconnect with each other so
deeply in your relationship,your heart to heart, breath to
breath, um, and it might, youknow, spice things up in the
bedroom for sure, but it'scertainly going to spice up your
relationship.
But I'm thinking in the future,here on the podcast, I may
(01:54):
delve into that a little deeper,because I think it does help
prevent burnout and compassionfatigue and all those things
we're trying to prevent asprofessional helpers, but okay
so, moving on from prevent asprofessional helpers, but okay
so, moving on from that,professional helpers.
This podcast is dedicated topreventing and overcoming the
occupational hazards of thecareer.
(02:16):
We chose specifically burnout,compassion fatigue and vicarious
trauma.
But, as I always say, this isthis podcast is for anyone.
If you're not a professionalhelper, you're welcome here.
So as professional helpers andyou know it doesn't matter, you
could be a therapist, you couldbe a social worker, a nurse, a
(02:38):
doctor, an educator, any rolewhere you're giving so much of
yourself you know firsthand thechallenges of maintaining
healthy boundaries.
That's what we're talking abouttoday.
As you well know, it's easy toblur lines, to overextend, to
(02:58):
take on too much, all in thename of caring.
But what happens when weconsistently operate without
clear boundaries?
We burn out, we becomeresentful and our ability to
genuinely help diminishes.
I mean, this podcast is basedon the book I wrote called Soul
(03:22):
Joy a 12-week guide forovercoming burnout and
compassion fatigue, and y'allthat was written based on my own
journey to crash and burn andtry to screw my life up.
Not on purpose.
I wasn't functioning how Ineeded to, and this episode
(03:42):
about boundaries really, reallygets to the heart of how we need
this to prevent burnout andfunction at our best.
So let's talk about the throatchakra.
The throat chakra is veryimportant as we look at
sustainable, holistic self-care.
(04:02):
My book is based on the sevenchakras and we've gone through.
If you're new to the podcast,please hop back and listen to
previous episodes, because westarted the root chakra and
we're now to the throat chakra.
We have two more to go, but themeaning of the throat chakra is
pure or purification.
(04:24):
It's located at the center ofyour throat and this is your
energy hub for communication,self-expression and speaking
your truth.
So think about it.
When your throat chakra isbalanced and flowing, you can
express your needs clearly, setlimits with confidence and
(04:44):
communicate authentically.
But y'all, when it's blocked,when it's out of balance, you're
gonna find yourself struggling,maybe struggling to say no.
Perhaps you feel unheard oreven experiencing physical
symptoms like a sore throat orthyroid issue.
Now I've spent several weeks onthe throat chakra and if this
(05:07):
is something that's reallycausing your ears to perk up.
Go back a couple of episodesand start from the beginning.
Y'all for helping professionals,the connection between
boundaries and the throat chakrais incredibly profound.
Speaking your no.
A strong throat chakra empowersyou to say no when you need to,
(05:32):
without guilt or apology,because when we do that, we
lessen that no.
This isn't about beingunhelpful.
It's about recognizing yourcapacity and protecting your
energy so you can be genuinelyhelpful when you're truly
available.
(05:52):
How often do you find yourselfsaying yes out of obligation I'm
pausing here because I've got awhole episode on this Even when
your inner voice is screaminghell, no.
That's your throat chakratrying to tell you something.
(06:13):
Clear communication ofexpectations.
Okay.
So healthy boundaries aren'tjust about saying no.
They're also about clearlycommunicating your availability,
your scope of practice, yourprofessional limits.
When your throat chakra is open, you can articulate these
(06:36):
expectations with confidence andclarity, preventing
misunderstandings and protectingyour time and energy.
Right.
So next we have authenticself-expression.
Boundaries are a form ofself-expression, that's right.
(06:57):
Boundaries are a form ofself-expression.
They communicate your value ofself-expression.
They communicate your value,your needs and your professional
integrity.
When you honor your boundaries,you're honoring yourself this
(07:18):
authenticity rooted in a healthythroat chakra makes you more
effective.
You're a more effective andsustainable helper effective
You're a more effective andsustainable helper.
Okay, so what about protectingyour energy field?
As a helping professional, youoften absorb a lot of emotional
(07:38):
energy from those you serve.
You know, it's true.
You felt it.
You're exhausted at the end ofthe day because you've given all
you can.
You take home others energiesbecause you don't have a ritual
in place at the end of the dayto get rid of those.
A strong throat chakra acts asa protective shield, allowing
(08:04):
you to process and release thisenergy without letting it
overwhelm you.
When you struggle to vocalizeyour needs or express your
discomfort, that energy can getstuck and we don't want that.
So how can we cultivate ahealthier throat chakra and
(08:27):
strengthen our boundaries?
Okay, so here's a few practicaltips.
As always, I have an activityfor you with a PDF at the end of
the podcast, but here's a fewpractical tips.
You need to practice mindfulcommunication.
Before you speak, pause.
Ask yourself is what I'm aboutto say true?
(08:52):
Is it kind, is it necessary and, most importantly, does it
honor my needs and boundaries?
Okay, you want to use Istatements?
I know we talk about this withour clients all the time.
We need to practice what we'repreaching, right?
(09:13):
Instead of saying you alwaysask too much of me.
Try, hmm, I feel overwhelmedwhen I have multiple urgent
requests at once and I need toprioritize.
This empowers you to expressyour needs without blaming,
(09:34):
because we're responsible forourself, right, okay, you can
find your voice literally.
Engage in activities that helpyou express yourself vocally.
This could be singing, chanting, speaking up in meetings, even
just humming.
(09:54):
These practices can help clearenergetic blockages in your
throat.
You want to visualize andaffirm.
Spend a few minutes each dayvisualizing a vibrant, clear,
blue light at your throat.
(10:14):
Affirm to yourself I speak mytruth with clarity and
confidence.
I set healthy boundaries withease.
My voice is heard and respected.
Easy, breezy, everyday practice.
You want to identify yourboundary triggers.
(10:35):
Pay attention to situations orindividuals that consistently
make you feel like yourboundaries are being challenged,
because there's something there.
Once you recognize the triggers, you can proactively plan how
you're going to respond in a waythat honors you and your needs.
(10:56):
And, as always, y'all, asprofessional helpers, seek
supervision and peer support.
Don't underestimate the powerof discussing boundary
challenges with a trustedcolleague or supervisor.
They can offer really valuableinsights, validation and
(11:17):
strategies, and you want to giveyourself permission to say no.
As I said, I have a wholepodcast on this, but just in
this moment, giving yourselfpermission to say no, this is
perhaps the hardest one for someof us.
Remember, saying no to onerequest means saying yes to your
(11:38):
own well-being, to yourcapacity to serve effectively in
the long run and to yourpersonal life, and y'all.
It's not selfish, it'ssustainable, and we are
practicing holistic, sustainableself-care, known as wellness.
Okay, so, building strongboundaries is an ongoing
(12:03):
practice and it requires a lotof self-awareness.
It's not one and done.
It requires courage and itrequires compassion for yourself
.
When you prioritize yourboundaries, you're not just
protecting yourself, you'reactually y'all.
This is important.
You're actually becoming moreeffective, more present and,
(12:26):
ultimately, more resilient as ahelper.
Think of your throat chakra asa volume knob for your personal
power.
When that's cranked up andbalanced, man, y'all, you're
going to speak your truth,you're going to express your
needs and establish those clearlimits that allow you to thrive
(12:50):
in your incredibly importantlife and work.
Okay, so before we go on, I wantto invite you to subscribe to
my email list to get the weeklypodcast emailed to you and I
include a bonus PDF that Icreate just for you of the
(13:11):
weekly activity.
All you have to do is hop onover to my website to get on the
email list,wwwjuliemerrimanphdcom, and,
while you're there, grab a copyof my book, soul Joy.
Okay, quick drink.
The activity I have planned foryou today I call Boundary
(13:37):
Blueprint and Throat ChakraActivation Activity.
I did an activation activitylast week, but this one goes a
little deeper Y'all.
It's designed to help youdeepen your understanding of
boundaries and the throat chakra, and I know, as helpers we have
a master's degree or PhD inthis stuff.
But we can preach instead ofpractice, and I'm inviting you
(14:00):
to practice Understandingboundaries and the throat chakra
.
That's going to empower you toput healthy practices into
action.
Take your time with each section, be honest with yourself and
remember that setting boundariesis an act of self-care and
(14:21):
professional integrity.
So, part one and again, emailme if you'd like this PDF, but I
really would invite you to hoponto my email list.
You have this whole workbookI've created for you, but if
you're driving, just listen andthink.
(14:41):
Maybe come back to it when youget to the house.
But part one, reflecting onyour current boundaries.
I want you to think about yourprofessional and personal life.
Where do you find boundarysetting most challenging?
Use these prompts to reflect.
Okay, so where do you feeloverextended or drained the most
(15:05):
?
You know your workload, clientexpectations, colleagues,
personal requests, maybe familydemands.
An example I often take workhome.
Clients call me after hours.
I say yes to too manycommittees.
So reflect on that.
Professional, were youoverextended?
(15:28):
Personal, were you overextended?
What boundary is being crossedor is difficult to set, crossed
or is difficult to set, and howdo you currently feel or react
to that?
How does this impact yourenergy and well-being?
(15:52):
So I mean just off the top ofmy head y'all, if we, we, we
work whatever hours you set.
You own your calendar.
You work those hours.
Work stays at work.
Clients have 911s.
You have set in your intakepaperwork.
What happens after hours if aclient has an emergency?
(16:12):
And committee meetings willsuck the life out of you?
I have been an associate dean.
I've sat through those meetings.
Oh my Atlanta, no is a completesentence.
Where do you need to regain,re-empower yourself?
Where do you feel overextendedor drained?
What specific requests orsituations consistently make you
(16:41):
feel uncomfortable, resentfulor guilty, but you still agree
to them.
Reflect on that.
I'm not going to say why,because we know how.
That not supposed to say why,that's blaming, but I mean think
about it.
But I mean think about it.
Your time is the one thing youcannot buy more of.
(17:03):
Own it, celebrate it, empoweryourself.
What are the consequences whenyou don't set a boundary in
these situations?
Do you get exhausted?
Are you resentful?
Is there a diminished workquality?
(17:25):
Is there personal stress?
Do you feel unheard?
Write your reflection there andthe consequences of the bound,
consistently saying findingyourself in a situation where
you're uncomfortable, resentful,guilty, or you still agree to
do something you don't want todo.
Okay, so that's reflecting onyour current boundaries.
(17:48):
How's that going?
And next we're going to segueinto the throat chakra
connection.
So let's connect these boundarychallenges to your throat
chakra, of course.
Remember that, your center ofcommunication and
self-expression.
When you struggle to say no orexpress your needs, what
(18:09):
physical sensations do younotice in your throat or neck
area?
Is there a lump, tightness?
Your voice feels weak, shallowbreathing?
When I do this with clients, itfascinates me how often there's
a lump or they feel likethere's something in their
throat they can't swallow.
Reflect on that.
(18:30):
When you struggle to say no orexpress your needs.
What's the physical sensation?
How does your internal voice,your intuition, that gut feeling
gut feeling, we all have it tryto communicate with you when a
boundary is being crossed orneeds to be set, and do you
(18:51):
typically listen?
What's your reflection?
I can think, oh, of so manymistakes I've made in life
because I was not listening tomy intuition.
My body was screaming at me andI didn't listen.
Think about a time yousuccessfully set a boundary.
(19:15):
How did it feel to expressyourself and and what physical
sensations did you notice?
Okay, so reflect on that.
This next part is a bitcomplicated, to just tell you, I
do hope you hop on the emaillist so I can get you this PDF.
But part three I mean I cantalk to you about it, ain't no
(19:39):
thing.
Part three drafting yourboundary statements.
Now let's draft some clear,assertive and concise boundary
statements for those challengingsituations that you identified
back in part one, and rememberto use I statements.
So I want you to choose one tothree situations that you're
(20:02):
struggling to set boundarieswith or the boundary you've set
isn't working for you, and foreach draft a boundary statement
using this structure.
Acknowledge this is optional buthelpful for softening.
I understand you need, Iunderstand you want, I
(20:25):
understand.
And then the I statement of aneed or limit I need to ensure I
have time for, or I am unableto, I am unable to.
And then the clear boundary soI can't take on a new project
(20:46):
until next month, or my officehours are 9 to 5.
Clear boundary.
And then an alternativesolution we do this in play
therapy.
Right, I'm not for hitting, butBobo is.
I mean, this is therapy.
We do this.
An alternative solution.
Now, it's optional, but ifappropriate, do so.
(21:09):
Perhaps we can revisit thisnext week or I can refer you to.
So that is your boundarystatement.
That's the blueprint.
So that is your boundarystatement.
That's the blueprint.
So let's I'm going to give youan example.
Situation one let's say clientcalls me after hours for
non-emergencies.
(21:29):
Draft the boundary statement.
I understand you have questionsand I want to support you To
ensure I'm available andrefreshed for all my clients.
My office hours are 9 to 5,monday through Friday, or
whatever is your, your, whateveryours might be for urgent
matters outside of these hours,please use whatever protocol you
(21:52):
have designated.
Refer them to that.
Okay, that makes sense, rightyou.
That's a boundary statement.
I've done all those things.
I've acknowledged, I've got anI statement.
There's a clear boundary.
I've given an alternative.
Now it's your turn and empoweryourself.
If you do so, write it down andshoot me an email.
(22:15):
I would love to support you inthis.
And then we're going to move topart four.
We've gone one through three,now to part four.
That's that throat chakraactivation and practice.
(22:38):
This section y'all focuses on.
You've got to physically andenergetically prepare your
throat chakra to speak yourboundaries.
So do a vocal warm-up.
You gently hum for 30 seconds,focusing on that vibration in
your throat.
Do some gentle neck rollsForward, backward, side to side.
Release tension and practicesome gentle ah, I don't want to
(23:03):
hurt your ears Sounds graduallyincreasing the volume.
And then step into youraffirmation, practice Finding a
quiet space, closing your eyesif you want, placing your hand
gently on your throat, taking afew deep breaths, inhaling that
calm blue light deep into yourthroat, exhaling any tension,
(23:27):
repeating affirmations out loudor in a strong whisper several
times.
My voice is strong and clear.
I speak my truth withconfidence and compassion.
It is safe for me to sethealthy boundaries.
I am worthy of respect and restand then your boundary
(23:53):
statement rehearsal.
Choose one of your draftedboundary statements from part
three and practice saying it outloud several times.
Notice how does it feel in yourbody, especially your throat.
Do you sound confident orhesitant?
Adjust your tone and wordinguntil it feels authentic and
(24:18):
assertive, not aggressive.
Last week we talked aboutcommunication styles Assertive
Imagine you're speaking to theperson.
You need to set the boundarywith Practice, making eye
contact, even if it's just withyour reflection.
(24:40):
Okay so conclusion and nextsteps here.
Okay so I want to congratulateyou on taking a really important
step towards setting strongerboundaries.
You're going to feel better.
I don't want you out therecrashing and burning.
I don't want anyone to livethrough what I did, and a more
(25:01):
balanced throat chakra is goingto serve you Y'all.
You got to start small.
We're not going to feelpressured to implement all the
boundaries at once.
You pick one, commit to thatand practice.
Then go to the next.
You're patient with yourself.
Setting boundaries y'all is askill that improves with
(25:23):
practice.
There might be some discomfort.
We embrace that.
But this discomfort isn't justyours, maybe for the other
person too.
Can't control that.
New dynamics need to beestablished, and that is
sometimes really all the timetime, if you think about it can
be uncomfortable, but that'sokay.
(25:43):
You're going to celebratesuccesses, acknowledge yourself
every time you successfully seta boundary, no matter how small,
and you're going to continuereflecting regularly by checking
in with yourself.
How are your boundaries feeling?
Are they serving you?
Is your throat chakra open andclear?
(26:05):
Remember, by owning your ownlimits, you become a more
sustainable, effective and trulyresilient helper.
Ha, awesome.
Okay, that's it for today.
Thank you for joining me.
(26:26):
Remember your well-being isparamount.
Until next time, speak yourtruth, honor your boundaries and
continue doing the amazing workyou do.
Hey y'all, I'm Dr Julie Merriman and welcome to
Soul Joy.
Today we're diving deep into atopic that's absolutely crucial
for your well-being andeffectiveness boundaries and how
they connect to a powerfulenergy center within us, the
(00:20):
throat chakra.
Because y'all this is a verynecessary component of holistic,
sustainable self-care, alsoknown as wellness.
All right, all right, welcomeback to the soul joy podcast,
the show dedicated to supportingyou, the incredible individuals
(00:45):
who are dedicated to helpingothers.
You've dedicated your lives tohelping others.
Thank you for that.
So we're going to start with alittle home chat.
As always and this is kind ofan interesting subject my
husband and I just happened uponit, I've told y'all we're on,
(01:08):
we do that monthly kit to kindof liven up the bedroom, if you
will.
And anyway, this month it wasabout Tantra and not the Neo
kind of stuff.
That's kind of, I'm gonna say,out there, not to offend anyone,
for me it was a bit out therebut the, the old, the, the
(01:32):
ancient tantra, where youconnect with each other so
deeply in your relationship,your heart to heart, breath to
breath, um, and it might, youknow, spice things up in the
bedroom for sure, but it'scertainly going to spice up your
relationship.
But I'm thinking in the future,here on the podcast, I may
(01:54):
delve into that a little deeper,because I think it does help
prevent burnout and compassionfatigue and all those things
we're trying to prevent asprofessional helpers, but okay
so, moving on from prevent asprofessional helpers, but okay
so, moving on from that,professional helpers.
This podcast is dedicated topreventing and overcoming the
occupational hazards of thecareer.
(02:16):
We chose specifically burnout,compassion fatigue and vicarious
trauma.
But, as I always say, this isthis podcast is for anyone.
If you're not a professionalhelper, you're welcome here.
So as professional helpers andyou know it doesn't matter, you
could be a therapist, you couldbe a social worker, a nurse, a
(02:38):
doctor, an educator, any rolewhere you're giving so much of
yourself you know firsthand thechallenges of maintaining
healthy boundaries.
That's what we're talking abouttoday.
As you well know, it's easy toblur lines, to overextend, to
(02:58):
take on too much, all in thename of caring.
But what happens when weconsistently operate without
clear boundaries?
We burn out, we becomeresentful and our ability to
genuinely help diminishes.
I mean, this podcast is basedon the book I wrote called Soul
(03:22):
Joy a 12-week guide forovercoming burnout and
compassion fatigue, and y'allthat was written based on my own
journey to crash and burn andtry to screw my life up.
Not on purpose.
I wasn't functioning how Ineeded to, and this episode
(03:42):
about boundaries really, reallygets to the heart of how we need
this to prevent burnout andfunction at our best.
So let's talk about the throatchakra.
The throat chakra is veryimportant as we look at
sustainable, holistic self-care.
(04:02):
My book is based on the sevenchakras and we've gone through.
If you're new to the podcast,please hop back and listen to
previous episodes, because westarted the root chakra and
we're now to the throat chakra.
We have two more to go, but themeaning of the throat chakra is
pure or purification.
(04:24):
It's located at the center ofyour throat and this is your
energy hub for communication,self-expression and speaking
your truth.
So think about it.
When your throat chakra isbalanced and flowing, you can
express your needs clearly, setlimits with confidence and
(04:44):
communicate authentically.
But y'all, when it's blocked,when it's out of balance, you're
gonna find yourself struggling,maybe struggling to say no.
Perhaps you feel unheard oreven experiencing physical
symptoms like a sore throat orthyroid issue.
Now I've spent several weeks onthe throat chakra and if this
(05:07):
is something that's reallycausing your ears to perk up.
Go back a couple of episodesand start from the beginning.
Y'all for helping professionals,the connection between
boundaries and the throat chakrais incredibly profound.
Speaking your no.
A strong throat chakra empowersyou to say no when you need to,
(05:32):
without guilt or apology,because when we do that, we
lessen that no.
This isn't about beingunhelpful.
It's about recognizing yourcapacity and protecting your
energy so you can be genuinelyhelpful when you're truly
available.
(05:52):
How often do you find yourselfsaying yes out of obligation I'm
pausing here because I've got awhole episode on this Even when
your inner voice is screaminghell, no.
That's your throat chakratrying to tell you something.
(06:13):
Clear communication ofexpectations.
Okay.
So healthy boundaries aren'tjust about saying no.
They're also about clearlycommunicating your availability,
your scope of practice, yourprofessional limits.
When your throat chakra is open, you can articulate these
(06:36):
expectations with confidence andclarity, preventing
misunderstandings and protectingyour time and energy.
Right.
So next we have authenticself-expression.
Boundaries are a form ofself-expression, that's right.
(06:57):
Boundaries are a form ofself-expression.
They communicate your value ofself-expression.
They communicate your value,your needs and your professional
integrity.
When you honor your boundaries,you're honoring yourself this
(07:18):
authenticity rooted in a healthythroat chakra makes you more
effective.
You're a more effective andsustainable helper effective
You're a more effective andsustainable helper.
Okay, so what about protectingyour energy field?
As a helping professional, youoften absorb a lot of emotional
(07:38):
energy from those you serve.
You know, it's true.
You felt it.
You're exhausted at the end ofthe day because you've given all
you can.
You take home others energiesbecause you don't have a ritual
in place at the end of the dayto get rid of those.
A strong throat chakra acts asa protective shield, allowing
(08:04):
you to process and release thisenergy without letting it
overwhelm you.
When you struggle to vocalizeyour needs or express your
discomfort, that energy can getstuck and we don't want that.
So how can we cultivate ahealthier throat chakra and
(08:27):
strengthen our boundaries?
Okay, so here's a few practicaltips.
As always, I have an activityfor you with a PDF at the end of
the podcast, but here's a fewpractical tips.
You need to practice mindfulcommunication.
Before you speak, pause.
Ask yourself is what I'm aboutto say true?
(08:52):
Is it kind, is it necessary and, most importantly, does it
honor my needs and boundaries?
Okay, you want to use Istatements?
I know we talk about this withour clients all the time.
We need to practice what we'repreaching, right?
(09:13):
Instead of saying you alwaysask too much of me.
Try, hmm, I feel overwhelmedwhen I have multiple urgent
requests at once and I need toprioritize.
This empowers you to expressyour needs without blaming,
(09:34):
because we're responsible forourself, right, okay, you can
find your voice literally.
Engage in activities that helpyou express yourself vocally.
This could be singing, chanting, speaking up in meetings, even
just humming.
(09:54):
These practices can help clearenergetic blockages in your
throat.
You want to visualize andaffirm.
Spend a few minutes each dayvisualizing a vibrant, clear,
blue light at your throat.
(10:14):
Affirm to yourself I speak mytruth with clarity and
confidence.
I set healthy boundaries withease.
My voice is heard and respected.
Easy, breezy, everyday practice.
You want to identify yourboundary triggers.
(10:35):
Pay attention to situations orindividuals that consistently
make you feel like yourboundaries are being challenged,
because there's something there.
Once you recognize the triggers, you can proactively plan how
you're going to respond in a waythat honors you and your needs.
(10:56):
And, as always, y'all, asprofessional helpers, seek
supervision and peer support.
Don't underestimate the powerof discussing boundary
challenges with a trustedcolleague or supervisor.
They can offer really valuableinsights, validation and
(11:17):
strategies, and you want to giveyourself permission to say no.
As I said, I have a wholepodcast on this, but just in
this moment, giving yourselfpermission to say no, this is
perhaps the hardest one for someof us.
Remember, saying no to onerequest means saying yes to your
(11:38):
own well-being, to yourcapacity to serve effectively in
the long run and to yourpersonal life, and y'all.
It's not selfish, it'ssustainable, and we are
practicing holistic, sustainableself-care, known as wellness.
Okay, so, building strongboundaries is an ongoing
(12:03):
practice and it requires a lotof self-awareness.
It's not one and done.
It requires courage and itrequires compassion for yourself
.
When you prioritize yourboundaries, you're not just
protecting yourself, you'reactually y'all.
This is important.
You're actually becoming moreeffective, more present and,
(12:26):
ultimately, more resilient as ahelper.
Think of your throat chakra asa volume knob for your personal
power.
When that's cranked up andbalanced, man, y'all, you're
going to speak your truth,you're going to express your
needs and establish those clearlimits that allow you to thrive
(12:50):
in your incredibly importantlife and work.
Okay, so before we go on, I wantto invite you to subscribe to
my email list to get the weeklypodcast emailed to you and I
include a bonus PDF that Icreate just for you of the
(13:11):
weekly activity.
All you have to do is hop onover to my website to get on the
email list,wwwjuliemerrimanphdcom, and,
while you're there, grab a copyof my book, soul Joy.
Okay, quick drink.
The activity I have planned foryou today I call Boundary
(13:37):
Blueprint and Throat ChakraActivation Activity.
I did an activation activitylast week, but this one goes a
little deeper Y'all.
It's designed to help youdeepen your understanding of
boundaries and the throat chakra, and I know, as helpers we have
a master's degree or PhD inthis stuff.
But we can preach instead ofpractice, and I'm inviting you
(14:00):
to practice Understandingboundaries and the throat chakra
.
That's going to empower you toput healthy practices into
action.
Take your time with each section, be honest with yourself and
remember that setting boundariesis an act of self-care and
(14:21):
professional integrity.
So, part one and again, emailme if you'd like this PDF, but I
really would invite you to hoponto my email list.
You have this whole workbookI've created for you, but if
you're driving, just listen andthink.
(14:41):
Maybe come back to it when youget to the house.
But part one, reflecting onyour current boundaries.
I want you to think about yourprofessional and personal life.
Where do you find boundarysetting most challenging?
Use these prompts to reflect.
Okay, so where do you feeloverextended or drained the most
(15:05):
?
You know your workload, clientexpectations, colleagues,
personal requests, maybe familydemands.
An example I often take workhome.
Clients call me after hours.
I say yes to too manycommittees.
So reflect on that.
Professional, were youoverextended?
(15:28):
Personal, were you overextended?
What boundary is being crossedor is difficult to set, crossed
or is difficult to set, and howdo you currently feel or react
to that?
How does this impact yourenergy and well-being?
(15:52):
So I mean just off the top ofmy head y'all, if we, we, we
work whatever hours you set.
You own your calendar.
You work those hours.
Work stays at work.
Clients have 911s.
You have set in your intakepaperwork.
What happens after hours if aclient has an emergency?
(16:12):
And committee meetings willsuck the life out of you?
I have been an associate dean.
I've sat through those meetings.
Oh my Atlanta, no is a completesentence.
Where do you need to regain,re-empower yourself?
Where do you feel overextendedor drained?
What specific requests orsituations consistently make you
(16:41):
feel uncomfortable, resentfulor guilty, but you still agree
to them.
Reflect on that.
I'm not going to say why,because we know how.
That not supposed to say why,that's blaming, but I mean think
about it.
But I mean think about it.
Your time is the one thing youcannot buy more of.
(17:03):
Own it, celebrate it, empoweryourself.
What are the consequences whenyou don't set a boundary in
these situations?
Do you get exhausted?
Are you resentful?
Is there a diminished workquality?
(17:25):
Is there personal stress?
Do you feel unheard?
Write your reflection there andthe consequences of the bound,
consistently saying findingyourself in a situation where
you're uncomfortable, resentful,guilty, or you still agree to
do something you don't want todo.
Okay, so that's reflecting onyour current boundaries.
(17:48):
How's that going?
And next we're going to segueinto the throat chakra
connection.
So let's connect these boundarychallenges to your throat
chakra, of course.
Remember that, your center ofcommunication and
self-expression.
When you struggle to say no orexpress your needs, what
(18:09):
physical sensations do younotice in your throat or neck
area?
Is there a lump, tightness?
Your voice feels weak, shallowbreathing?
When I do this with clients, itfascinates me how often there's
a lump or they feel likethere's something in their
throat they can't swallow.
Reflect on that.
(18:30):
When you struggle to say no orexpress your needs.
What's the physical sensation?
How does your internal voice,your intuition, that gut feeling
gut feeling, we all have it tryto communicate with you when a
boundary is being crossed orneeds to be set, and do you
(18:51):
typically listen?
What's your reflection?
I can think, oh, of so manymistakes I've made in life
because I was not listening tomy intuition.
My body was screaming at me andI didn't listen.
Think about a time yousuccessfully set a boundary.
(19:15):
How did it feel to expressyourself and and what physical
sensations did you notice?
Okay, so reflect on that.
This next part is a bitcomplicated, to just tell you, I
do hope you hop on the emaillist so I can get you this PDF.
But part three I mean I cantalk to you about it, ain't no
(19:39):
thing.
Part three drafting yourboundary statements.
Now let's draft some clear,assertive and concise boundary
statements for those challengingsituations that you identified
back in part one, and rememberto use I statements.
So I want you to choose one tothree situations that you're
(20:02):
struggling to set boundarieswith or the boundary you've set
isn't working for you, and foreach draft a boundary statement
using this structure.
Acknowledge this is optional buthelpful for softening.
I understand you need, Iunderstand you want, I
(20:25):
understand.
And then the I statement of aneed or limit I need to ensure I
have time for, or I am unableto, I am unable to.
And then the clear boundary soI can't take on a new project
(20:46):
until next month, or my officehours are 9 to 5.
Clear boundary.
And then an alternativesolution we do this in play
therapy.
Right, I'm not for hitting, butBobo is.
I mean, this is therapy.
We do this.
An alternative solution.
Now, it's optional, but ifappropriate, do so.
(21:09):
Perhaps we can revisit thisnext week or I can refer you to.
So that is your boundarystatement.
That's the blueprint.
So that is your boundarystatement.
That's the blueprint.
So let's I'm going to give youan example.
Situation one let's say clientcalls me after hours for
non-emergencies.
(21:29):
Draft the boundary statement.
I understand you have questionsand I want to support you To
ensure I'm available andrefreshed for all my clients.
My office hours are 9 to 5,monday through Friday, or
whatever is your, your, whateveryours might be for urgent
matters outside of these hours,please use whatever protocol you
(21:52):
have designated.
Refer them to that.
Okay, that makes sense, rightyou.
That's a boundary statement.
I've done all those things.
I've acknowledged, I've got anI statement.
There's a clear boundary.
I've given an alternative.
Now it's your turn and empoweryourself.
If you do so, write it down andshoot me an email.
(22:15):
I would love to support you inthis.
And then we're going to move topart four.
We've gone one through three,now to part four.
That's that throat chakraactivation and practice.
(22:38):
This section y'all focuses on.
You've got to physically andenergetically prepare your
throat chakra to speak yourboundaries.
So do a vocal warm-up.
You gently hum for 30 seconds,focusing on that vibration in
your throat.
Do some gentle neck rollsForward, backward, side to side.
Release tension and practicesome gentle ah, I don't want to
(23:03):
hurt your ears Sounds graduallyincreasing the volume.
And then step into youraffirmation, practice Finding a
quiet space, closing your eyesif you want, placing your hand
gently on your throat, taking afew deep breaths, inhaling that
calm blue light deep into yourthroat, exhaling any tension,
(23:27):
repeating affirmations out loudor in a strong whisper several
times.
My voice is strong and clear.
I speak my truth withconfidence and compassion.
It is safe for me to sethealthy boundaries.
I am worthy of respect and restand then your boundary
(23:53):
statement rehearsal.
Choose one of your draftedboundary statements from part
three and practice saying it outloud several times.
Notice how does it feel in yourbody, especially your throat.
Do you sound confident orhesitant?
Adjust your tone and wordinguntil it feels authentic and
(24:18):
assertive, not aggressive.
Last week we talked aboutcommunication styles Assertive
Imagine you're speaking to theperson.
You need to set the boundarywith Practice, making eye
contact, even if it's just withyour reflection.
(24:40):
Okay so conclusion and nextsteps here.
Okay so I want to congratulateyou on taking a really important
step towards setting strongerboundaries.
You're going to feel better.
I don't want you out therecrashing and burning.
I don't want anyone to livethrough what I did, and a more
(25:01):
balanced throat chakra is goingto serve you Y'all.
You got to start small.
We're not going to feelpressured to implement all the
boundaries at once.
You pick one, commit to thatand practice.
Then go to the next.
You're patient with yourself.
Setting boundaries y'all is askill that improves with
(25:23):
practice.
There might be some discomfort.
We embrace that.
But this discomfort isn't justyours, maybe for the other
person too.
Can't control that.
New dynamics need to beestablished, and that is
sometimes really all the timetime, if you think about it can
be uncomfortable, but that'sokay.
(25:43):
You're going to celebratesuccesses, acknowledge yourself
every time you successfully seta boundary, no matter how small,
and you're going to continuereflecting regularly by checking
in with yourself.
How are your boundaries feeling?
Are they serving you?
Is your throat chakra open andclear?
(26:05):
Remember, by owning your ownlimits, you become a more
sustainable, effective and trulyresilient helper.
Ha, awesome.
Okay, that's it for today.
Thank you for joining me.
(26:26):
Remember your well-being isparamount.
Until next time, speak yourtruth, honor your boundaries and
continue doing the amazing workyou do.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.