September 8, 2025 • 42 mins
Dr. Julie Merriman explores the concept of decluttering your energy as a vital component of sustainable, holistic self-care for helping professionals. She examines how professional helpers constantly absorb, process, and navigate various forms of energy that can become cluttered and lead to burnout.
• Energy clutter manifests as mental noise, emotional residue, unclear boundaries, environmental chaos, and physical tension
• Symptoms include feeling drained despite rest, difficulty focusing, irritability, procrastination, resentment, physical symptoms, and loss of joy
• Impact of unmanaged energy clutter leads to reduced effectiveness, impaired relationships, and loss of meaning in your work
• Mental decluttering strategies include mindful breaks, thought downloads/journaling, and single-tasking
• Emotional decluttering requires rituals of release, conscious emotional expression, and self-compassion practices
• Relational decluttering involves boundary setting, conscious communication, and conducting energy audits of relationships
• Physical and environmental decluttering focuses on workspace optimization, movement, proper rest, and nature connection
Visit juliemerrimanphd.com to subscribe to the weekly email for more resources on preventing burnout and compassion fatigue and the free bonus PDF she creates for you each week.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey y'all, I'm Dr Julie Merriman and welcome to
SoulJoy.
Souljoy podcast is yourdedicated space for fostering
growth, effectiveness andwell-being.
Today we're diving into aconcept that is profoundly
practical for every single oneof us decluttering your energy,
because this is a very necessarycomponent of sustainable,
(00:24):
holistic self-care, also knownas wellness.
All right, hello, hello,welcome back to the podcast.
I am so glad y'all are herewith me.
So real, quick home chat.
I'm really excited.
Kelly and I are loading up andheaded to California this week.
(00:45):
I get to go to the EMDRconference there in Anaheim and
I am excited.
It took me a few years after myPhD to get into conferences
again.
Phd burned me out so bad.
Really it's been a lot of years.
But anyway, I'm excited to getback into the conference scene
and I'm all about EMDR.
(01:07):
I love using EMDR with internalfamily systems.
I just think that is such a funmodality and I'm excited to get
some more training in it thisweek.
And I'm really excited thatKelly, since he's retired as a
state trooper and he's justdoing the full-time farming and
ranching, he's available totravel with me.
So that's a little extra treatfor us.
(01:27):
So anyway, back to the show.
Okay, professional helpers.
This podcast is dedicated topreventing and overcoming the
occupational hazards of thiscareer that we've chosen.
And specifically, y'all I'mtalking to you about burnout and
compassion, fatigue, and we'regoing to sprinkle a little bit
(01:48):
of vicarious trauma in there too.
So y'all know, as helpingprofessionals, we are constantly
taking in, processing andnavigating various forms of
energy, right, I mean, I feel itLike earlier at church a gal
walked in who's usually real,bubbly and just full of energy,
and I just felt, in fact I saidto her I was like man, your
(02:11):
energy feels a little bit off,and she shared she had some
health issues going on.
But my invitation there is thatas professional helpers, we are
always reading others' energies, giving our energy.
It's not just a spiritual idea,it's a very real mental
(02:33):
bandwidth and there's anemotional capacity and a
physical vitality and y'all evenrelational dynamics in this
that define our work.
We absorb client stories, wemanage complex caseloads, we
navigate team interactions andwe hold space for profound human
(02:56):
experiences.
But y'all, what happens whenthat energy becomes cluttered,
stagnant, and I'm sure y'allfelt this I know I have
overwhelming what happens whenwe accumulate mental, noise,
emotional residue or unclearrelational boundaries?
(03:19):
Y'all it can lead to depletion,overwhelm and ultimately
burnout, which is why thispodcast is here.
I don't want us burning out.
In this field, the work we dois so important.
So, y'all, just as physicalclutter can make our space feel
(03:40):
chaotic, I know when I go in thekitchen in the mornings.
That's why I make sure dishesare done and the kitchen is kind
of clean or orderly before I goto bed.
Because when I walk into thatkitchen in the morning and if
there's clutter anywhere oreverywhere, it really messes up
how my day starts.
That's that physical clutterI'm talking about.
(04:02):
So I've made I mean, it'ssomething I do I make sure the
kitchen's clear in the morning.
I have my coffee alreadypre-made, so when I walk into
that kitchen in the morning Ijust push the button to start
and it really helps my day startbetter because I start with
some.
There's not emotional baggagein there, there's not a bunch of
physical clutter that makes thespace feel chaotic for myself.
(04:25):
So what I'm inviting is, justlike physical clutter can make
things feel chaotic, energyclutter can obstruct our clarity
and diminish our compassion andhinder our ability to show up
as our best selves for ourclients and our family.
I mean, I'm talking about theworkspace, but you can translate
(04:46):
this into your home space aswell.
Today, I want to explore withy'all what energy clutter means
in our unique context, contexthow it shows up in our daily
professional lives and offerpractical, actionable strategies
to clear the channel, creatingspace for what truly matters and
(05:12):
protecting your vital resourcesfor sustainable impact, because
that's big right.
We want to have sustainableimpact so that we're continually
making good clinical decisionswith those folks that entrust us
with their lives.
And I'm not being overlydramatic.
(05:33):
I mean it's a big deal.
I don't care if you're atherapist or a doctor or a nurse
or a teacher, or however youshow up in the helping
professionals realm.
It's a big deal how weinterface with others' lives.
So it's important to take thetime to define energy clutter in
(05:55):
a way that resonates with ourprofessional experience.
We're talking about theaccumulation of anything that
drains, obstructs or weighs downyour mental, emotional,
relational or even physicalresources.
So there's a lot at stake,right?
(06:17):
We need to think about a lot ofdifferent avenues and I don't
know.
I mean, I'm a seasonedprofessional now.
I'm embracing that, but thoseof y'all that I mean maybe
you're a seasoned professional,maybe you're a newbie, new
professional and I'm um for whatI just mentioned the energy
(06:37):
clutter that you know.
We're looking at mental, we'relooking at emotional, we're
looking at relational and we'relooking at physical resources.
(06:59):
As a new counselor, I didn'tthink about those depths, which
is why I stumbled, and if youread my book Insert in Pursuit
of Soul Joy, I really stumbledand I was terribly impacted by
burnout, because I didn't taketime to deconstruct this and
(07:20):
really look at all the ways thatI was showing up to help others
.
And so I invite you, as youlisten to the podcast, to really
look at it with beginner eyes.
And again, as I shared, I'mseasoned.
So I myself am looking at thiswith beginner eyes because I
think it serves us, regardlessof how long we've been in the
(07:42):
profession, that we take time tonot think well, I already know
that, because maybe we don't.
I think, if we will allowourselves to show up with those
beginner eyes, we can look atthings that maybe we've been
doing for 30 years and look atit differently and really garner
some benefit for not only usbut for our clients and for our
(08:04):
families.
So I just invite you to thinkof energy clutter in these
following ways there's mentalclutter, and that's the endless
loop of thoughts ruminationabout past cases, worrying about
future outcomes, decisionfatigue, distracting thoughts
(08:26):
that pull you away from thepresent moment.
Then we have emotional clutter,and this is holding on to client
emotions, unresolved feelingsfrom difficult interactions,
carrying resentment towards asystem, a colleague carrying
(08:50):
resentment towards a system, acolleague, maybe even a client,
or suppressing your ownlegitimate emotional responses.
And I'm going to put a breakand we're going to hover here
just a hot minute.
If any of these things come upfor you, you have not done
anything wrong.
That's why we seek supervision,that's why we seek consultation
.
We are human and we're going tohave human responses.
Our codes talk about theimportance of seeking
(09:15):
supervision and consultation,and if we're finding ourselves
in a real heavy place ofemotional clutter, I really
invite you to find someone toseek supervision with and
consultation, so that I meanthat's.
I just wanted to pump thebrakes about that for a hot
minute because I don't wantshame.
There's no reason to feel upsetabout anything that might come
(09:37):
up.
It's an opportunity for growth.
Okay.
Then there's relational clutter,and this would fall under
unclear boundaries, with clientsor colleagues maybe taking on
others' responsibilities, maybesome of our people-pleasing
tendencies, because those of usin these professions tend to
have those Now and I'm surewe've worked on those, because
(09:59):
good therapists, good doctors,good nurses, good helping
professionals keep ourselves intherapy right.
So we're working on thesethings on a regular basis.
But also this could beunresolved conflicts or engaging
in draining social interactions, so that would be relational
clutter.
And then there's environmentalclutter.
(10:20):
Like I talked about my kitchen,if I don't have it orderly when
I wake up in the morning, thatis a environmental clutter for
me.
And talked about my kitchen ifI don't have it orderly when I
wake up in the morning, that isan environmental clutter for me
and it's not a good way to startthe day.
So there could be disorganizedworkspace.
Take a hot minute, look aroundyour office.
What are you seeing?
If you're seeing it, sweetfriend, your clients are seeing
(10:41):
it when they walk in and itsends a loud message.
So we want to have a nice, tidy, organized workspace.
Maybe there's an overflowinginbox.
That could be snail mail oryour email, or maybe a chaotic
digital life that adds to mentalload.
Talking about the inbox in youremail box, look at your.
(11:02):
I invite you to close all yourwindows on your computer screen
and see what all is on that homescreen.
That's you know.
It's important to take the timeto organize our environment.
And then there's physicalclutter and that's a sense of
low vitality, chronic fatiguethat doesn't resolve with rest
(11:25):
or holding physical tension.
From stress, physical clutterwill get you.
I'm a very somatic therapist.
I want to take my clients intotheir bodies.
So even if we're on a virtualsession, I'm going to take my
clients into their bodies.
Where are you holding thatstress?
Where are you feeling thatfeeling?
(11:46):
I think that's eminentlyimportant.
Lots of great neuroscience toback that up.
Love the polyvagal theory aswell.
But when I look at physicalclutter and anxiety talk about
that holding physical tension Iinvite all of y'all to think
about how you're doing that foryourself.
And I want you, just right here, right now, we're all going to
(12:07):
take a big, deep breath, we'regoing to exhale, and I want you
to squeeze your shoulders toyour ears just as tight as you
can.
Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze,squeeze, squeeze a little bit
longer.
Big exhale and just let yourshoulders drop.
And do you feel that difference, right From the tension to the
(12:30):
release that is available to usat any time during the day.
I invite you to try that foryourself between each session
Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze andrelease.
Getting in touch with all thatphysical tension is important
because you're going to be ableto identify what is that stress
from.
(12:50):
Why are my shoulders so tight?
Why in the world is my neck sotight?
And I'm going to put a periodthere.
I could go on and on about that, but I invite you to do that
for yourself.
I'm sure you take your clientsthrough lots of somatic
exercises.
You need to take yourselfthrough that as well.
So see, what I'm saying isessentially, energy clutter is
(13:14):
any accumulation that preventsthe free flow of your life force
impacting your ability to befully present and effective.
How does this energy cluttermanifest itself specifically for
us, the helping professionals?
Well, you might recognize someof these signs and symptoms
(13:38):
below, and again, before I doany episode, I spend a lot of
time behind the scenesresearching and getting things
together for you because I thinkit's important.
So these are some things that Iresearched that could be
impacting you when you look atenergy clutter.
(13:59):
So there could be it could bethat you feel drained even after
a full night's sleep or aweekend off.
Perhaps there's difficultyfocusing or concentrating during
sessions or tasks.
Maybe there's an increasedirritability.
Maybe you're feeling impatientor emotionally reactive with
(14:22):
clients, colleagues or lovedones.
Perhaps you've noticed someprocrastination or feeling stuck
and unable to start importanttasks.
Maybe there's some resentmentbuilding toward clients or your
organization or even theprofession itself, that cynicism
(14:42):
that comes up that can kind oflean towards some of that
vicarious trauma, which, anyway,those are just things to be
aware of.
Perhaps there's experiencingphysical symptoms like chronic
headaches, persistent fatigue,muscle tension like I was
(15:03):
talking about in your neck orshoulders, and a gradual loss of
enthusiasm, purpose or joy youonce found in your work.
Oh honey, when I was fullyimpacted and on my knees burning
with burnout, I lost hope, Ilost enthusiasm, I lost my way,
(15:28):
I lost myself.
I really resonate with thatparticular point that I just
made.
And then the final point beingblurred boundaries where work
thoughts spill endlessly intoyour personal time.
You know you're not able to bepresent with your loved ones
(15:48):
because you're so worried aboutclients or notes you didn't get
done, or you know an insurancerenewal that is hanging over you
.
I mean it just goes on.
But all of those, my friends,all of those are symptoms of
cluttered energy.
So if any of these resonatewith you, my friend, it's a
(16:10):
clear signal that it's time forsome energy decluttering and I'm
of the firm belief any of usare going to benefit to take the
time to do a little energydecluttering.
See, the impact of unmanagedenergy clutter is significant.
It's a direct pathway toburnout, as I told you about
mine, and this is the mostcritical risk for us as
(16:34):
professional helpers.
Compassion, fatigue, burnout Ithink really are big.
Really are big.
Beyond that y'all it leads tothe following Reduced
professional effectiveness, andnone of y'all want to do that.
You've worked way too hard toget your education.
You've worked way too hard tobuild patients and caseloads and
(16:56):
clients.
You've worked way too hard tobuild your practice.
So reduced professionaleffectiveness is just not
something we want to stand for.
When your energy is cluttered,your judgment can be impaired,
your presence is diminished andyour authentic empathy may feel
(17:17):
way less accessible.
And then y'all there's impairedrelationships, and I'm talking
both in the office and at home,professional and personal.
These are going to suffer whenyou're operating from a place of
chronic depletion andresentment, and y'all we don't
(17:40):
mean to get there and y'all wedon't mean to get there.
I mean, I'm coming from a placeof where I have been there,
have that t-shirt, probably havemore than one, if I'm honest
and decided to dedicate myprofession to helping other
helping professionals not hitthat burnout and compassion
(18:01):
fatigued place because it's somiserable.
The last one we want to thinkabout what it leads to is this
loss of joy and meaning, andthis is a really sad place to
get to.
Having been there, we can getour way, find our way back, but
(18:21):
the very work that once broughtyou fulfillment can begin to
feel like an insurmountableburden.
You just can't imagine wantingto get up out of bed and go and
do what you need to do.
You dread looking at yourcalendar.
There's dread everywhere.
It's just a terrible place tobe.
(18:42):
That's that loss of joy andmeaning.
So, reduced professionaleffectiveness, impaired
relationships, loss of joy andmeaning those are directly
related to cluttered energy.
So how do we begin the processof clearing this energetic
clutter?
(19:02):
First, I'm going to take youthrough some things I've come up
with, but I really want toinvite you to hop over to Amazon
or my website and buy my bookIn Pursuit of Soul Joy.
Maybe find a couple of othercolleagues and you'll go through
this as a group.
It is a very actionable book.
It's not something you're justgoing to read.
You're going to read, you'regoing to read and work and
(19:24):
you're going to move to adifferent place, emotionally,
mentally.
I really invite you to do thatfor yourself.
But how do we begin the processof clearing this clutter,
energetic clutter?
It's a continuous, multifacetedpractice that involves
intentional choices and small,consistent actions across
(19:50):
different dimensions of yourbeing okay.
So, first and foremost, mentaldecluttering, quieting the noise
, right, I want you to takemindful breaks throughout your
day.
These are short pauses.
You close your eyes, you placeyour hands on your belly.
(20:12):
I want you to put one on yoursolar plexus, one on your sacral
chakra and just follow yourbreath for one to two minutes.
You can do that between clients.
I'm telling you, you're goingto show up so different for each
client if you do this foryourself and if you do this for
yourself before you leave theoffice to go home to your loved
ones, you show up different.
(20:34):
And as you're breathing withyour hands on your belly, I want
you to notice thoughts withzero judgment.
I want you to notice thoughtswith zero judgment.
Just let them pass, just becurious.
There is not a bit of judgmentto be had.
Thoughts aren't real right.
Our brain will come up with allkinds of crazy thoughts.
Oh, I could write a book on thecrazy thoughts my brain has
(20:56):
generated.
Creative person here.
Just because we have thethought does not mean it's true.
It is absolutely invited andpracticed and necessary to
notice that thought withoutjudgment and just let it pass
and notice your breathing andjust relax and allow yourself to
just be Okay.
(21:20):
So those are your thoughtdownloads.
That's how we're quieting thenoise.
I'm sorry, those are mindfulbreaks.
We're about to do thoughtdownloads, but we're looking at
quieting the noise, right?
So thought downloads slashjournaling are another great way
to quiet the noise.
So at the end of the day or whenyour mind feels overloaded and
(21:44):
we're all unique, we're alldifferent my biorhythm might do
it in the morning, yours mightdo it at night, someone else's
might do it at lunch.
It's when you need it, whenyou're feeling overloaded, you
simply write down every thought,worry or task that's swirling
around in your head.
You want to get it out of yourhead and on the paper, because
(22:07):
this can provide immense relief,and I know a lot of y'all might
prefer to type.
But I'm going to beg you to geta pen or a pencil and a piece
of paper and kinestheticallywrite that thing down or write
those thoughts out.
There's just somethingcathartic about actually using.
I think it connects your mindand your brain, mind and brain,
(22:31):
your body and your brain whenyou allow yourself to write that
out.
But and I also call it a braindump Sometimes I will encourage
my clients, I encourage myselfset a timer for five minutes and
just write, just dump it allout.
It's very cathartic and Ihighly recommend you try that.
(22:52):
The next trick to try to quietthe noise because, remember, we
are mentally decluttering issingle tasking right One thing
at a time.
Single tasking right One thingat a time.
When possible, focus on onetask completely before moving to
(23:12):
the next.
Close unnecessary browser tabs,silence notifications.
This reduces that cognitiveoverload and allows for deeper
presence.
Okay, so that is under thetopic of mental declutter.
I can't talk Mentaldecluttering, okay.
(23:36):
Second, the emotionaldecluttering.
This is where we need toprocess and release.
So rituals of release would bethe first thing to look at.
You want to create a simple endof day ritual to symbolically
(23:57):
leave at work.
This could be changing out ofyour work clothes, a brief walk
listening to a specific song,maybe a short debrief with a
supportive partner or friend.
Whatever it might be.
It's your ritual and you do itdaily and that triggers to your
(24:19):
brain it's the end of the day.
We're leaving this behind andwe're transitioning back to my
loved ones.
And then maybe you have an endof day ritual where it's the end
of the day.
I'm transitioning to sleep.
Maybe that's where you have agratitude journal where you
write down three things you'regrateful for for the day, or you
and your loved one, I don'tknow.
(24:41):
Maybe y'all share what happenedto the day.
It could be anything, but it'ssomething that triggers your
brain.
It's the end of this and we'retransitioning into this other.
The next one would be consciousemotional release.
So allow yourself healthyavenues for emotional release.
(25:03):
Y'all cry.
Crying is a great release.
There is no shame in crying.
I know we might have gottenmessages in our childhood about
crying, but crying is anecessary physical release.
So cry when you need to Engagein vigorous physical activity.
(25:26):
I have a punching bag out in mygarage and I love to go out
there If I'm really upset.
That energy has to move throughme.
I can't just talk about it,I've got to physically move it.
So punching and screaming in mypunching bag is an amazing
release for me and I feel somuch better.
I think that's why I'm soaddicted to exercise Addicted,
(25:49):
okay, I'll go with it, but Ihave to have my exercise at
least five times a week.
It needs to be pretty vigorous.
My body craves that and Ibelieve it's a way that I
release a lot of emotionalclutter that would otherwise
overwhelm me.
Then there's processingdifficult feelings in
supervision or therapy.
(26:10):
That's very important.
Don't suppress, but processwith intention.
And next, when we look atemotional decluttering, we want
to name and nurture.
So when difficult emotionsarise, acknowledge them.
(26:30):
I'm feeling frustrated rightnow.
Ain't nothing wrong with that.
That's a good thing.
Even better, if you canidentify that feeling, that's
great.
Then offer yourself a moment ofself-compassion.
Kirsten Neff, n-e-f-f, has agreat website about
self-compassion.
I believe she's out ofUniversity of Texas in Austin I
(26:54):
believe it doesn't matter SomeTexas university where she has
researched.
I know y'all already know abouther, but I'm going to share
again.
She has researched all aboutself-compassion.
She's done a lot of great work,has a phenomenal website.
If you're not sharing that withyour clients.
I pray that you do.
(27:14):
Clients need to know aboutself-compassion.
I can't tell you how manyclients have looked at me like I
have four eyes when I talkabout self-compassion, because
it's something they've nevereven considered.
She's also got a great book.
I know when I teach I need toadd it.
Well, at the other school Itaught for I had added it to the
professional orientation class.
When our new you know, newbiecounselors are just coming into
(27:36):
the program, I wanted them tolearn all about self-compassion
because I think as counselors weneed to know it for ourself and
be able to teach it to others.
But if self-compassion is not aconcept you're really savvy
with, I highly encourage you tolook up Kirsten Neff's work.
It's great.
But name and nurture difficultemotions and then offer yourself
(28:00):
self-compassion.
Difficult emotions and thenoffer yourself self-compassion.
So that's emotionaldecluttering, processing and
releasing rituals of release,conscious emotional release and
name and nurture.
Okay, you name that feeling andyou nurture yourself for having
it.
Then there's relationaldecluttering.
That's clarifying connections.
Boundary setting that's a bigconnections Boundary setting
(28:22):
Whew, that's a big one.
Oh, my Landa, that is such abig one.
Revisit your boundaries.
Are they clear?
Are they clear for you?
Can you name them?
Are they clear for your clients?
Are they clear for yourcolleagues?
Are they clear for yoursupervisors regarding your time
and availability and emotionalcapacity?
(28:42):
Are they clear with your lovedones?
Are they clear with yourfriends?
It's highly important that youare very assertive, not
aggressive.
Assertive about your boundaries, with zero apologies, zero
apologies.
Your boundaries make you abetter therapist, physician,
(29:04):
nurse, teacher, whatever helpingprofession you come in at.
Boundaries make you better.
And I'll tell you what else.
Your clients, your patients,the people you work with, need
those boundaries.
Saying a firm, kind no whennecessary is important, is a
(29:29):
powerful act of energypreservation, act of role
modeling for those who need tosee that and act of kindness to
you and others.
Because when we're going aroundsaying no, when we prefer
excuse me when we're saying yes,when we prefer to say no, we do
not show up in our best person.
(29:50):
It's best that you useselective yeses and offer no's
for when it's not right for you.
Firm boundaries are good.
I could go on and on.
I've got a podcast on this.
If I were, I should be such aprofessional podcaster and be
able to tell you which episodethat is.
But I do have a podcastspecifically on the art of
(30:12):
saying no, and in my book I havea whole chapter on it.
It's an art and it's one worthknowing.
Okay, so when we look at otherways for relational decluttering
, there's consciouscommunication.
Be clear about your needs andexpectations.
Address small relationaltensions before they become
(30:32):
large resentments.
All this garbage, as my daddywould say, all this garbage
about oh, I don't like conflict.
Yeah, that is our business, andI know being able to offer
conflict.
(30:53):
Well, that's not the right word, it's confrontation.
We need to be able to confrontour clients in a very healthy
manner, because that istherapeutic, and I invite you to
bring that into your own life.
Being able to address conflictand confront it and be upfront
with it is so much healthierthan dreading and just doing
(31:16):
something you don't want to doat all because you want to avoid
conflict and you're miserable.
That doesn't make a bit ofsense.
Conscious communication, beclear about your needs and
expectations and, my friend, Iinvite you to get clear and
right with yourself first, andthen it's going to be a lot
easier to take it to externalsources.
(31:37):
And then there's energy.
There's an energy audit foryour relationships.
So this is when you reflect onwhich relationships consistently
energize you and which onesconsistently drain you.
Invest more intentionality inthe former, your energizing
(32:06):
relationships.
Set stronger limits or distancewith relationships that drain
you, where appropriate.
Now we could have a wholepodcast on this.
Y'all are consummateprofessionals.
Y'all are adults.
You will use your as I used totell my children your
upper-level thinking skills todiscern that there's some people
we need to release with lovefrom our life, right, and then
there's sometimes we're in awork situation where we just
have to make the best of it, butaudit your relationships for
(32:30):
energy.
Which ones drain you?
If you can't rid yourself ofthem, then minimize your
exposure to those.
And the relationships thatenergize you fill your cup full
with those.
Okay.
So, relational declutteringwe're clarifying connections and
(32:52):
that is boundary settingconscious communication and
doing an energy audit with yourrelationships.
And then y'all there's physicaland environmental decluttering,
which helps to create flow, andI talked to y'all about how I
(33:12):
need my kitchen in the morningas I go to start the coffee pot.
I'm sure you all have a certainsomething or a feeling about
when you first walk into yourkitchen or wherever you go to
get your coffee or tea orkombucha or whatever you start
your morning with how you wantthat space to feel and look
right.
So when we look at physical,environmental decluttering and
(33:35):
creating that flow, we want tooptimize our workspace right.
We want a tidy, functional desk, a clear digital space that can
help reduce mental clutter.
You want to organize files.
You want to clear your desktopand you want to manage your
inbox.
You want your notes done.
You want to make sure you havea really rocking EHR.
(33:57):
I'm assuming most of y'all areinto an EHR now.
Maybe there's a few dinosaurssuch as myself who prefer some
pen and paper type of files.
But I have begrudgingly gone toan electronic EHR, although
sometimes I have to scan mynotes, my handwritten notes,
into my EHR.
But anyway, that still countsfor optimizing my workspace and
(34:22):
getting things organized.
Next we want to look at movementand somatic release.
Of course I'm a big somatic gal.
You want to engage in regularphysical exercise activity.
It's not just for physicalhealth, I believe.
I mean I get on my Peloton bike.
Let's see, I walk with the dogsfor a couple of miles one
(34:45):
morning, I do weights the next,well, I do weights in Peloton
bike.
Well, anyway, you don't want tohear all that.
That's boring.
But my invitation there is thatI don't know I'm doing it
because I want bigger biceps at62.
I don't know this is going tohappen, but I do it for my
physical health.
It helps release stored stressand stagnant energy in my body
(35:10):
and it will help you as well.
Practices like mindful movement,yoga I mean there's all kinds
of yoga.
If you have some health issuesand you're not able to get on
the floor, there's chair yoga.
I used to teach water aerobicsand for my it was a very gosh.
At the time I thought they wereelderly.
(35:31):
They were probably my agelooking back.
But there's lots of differentways for us to get physical
activity.
And don't negate how wonderfula walk is Hopefully an outdoor
walk where you get some vitaminD and explore the beautiful
world the good Lord has createdfor us.
Explore the beautiful world thegood Lord has created for us.
But you want to move, yoga,walking.
(35:57):
There's a plethora of movementsat your hand.
That didn't really make sense,but you know what I mean that
you can get to.
And then you want to prioritizerest and nourishment.
(36:17):
These are foundational.
Without adequate sleep, healthyfood and hydration, all other
energy management strategies arean uphill battle, a moot point
and y'all, it's pretty basic.
I mean, we all have differentsleep needs.
I need about eight, seven toeight hours.
That's optimum for me.
You want to eat healthy, right.
(36:38):
Less processed foods, moregreen stuff, stuff that the good
Lord made right, that manhasn't made into something else.
And then hydration.
I think we all walk around witha Stanley Cup or some kind of
water bottle of some sort.
It's really easy.
(36:59):
These are not expensivepractices, it's very practical
and y'all, we also want tomonitor our substance intake.
We also want to monitor oursubstance intake, you know, if
it's something to help us sleep,or if it's cracking a beer with
(37:24):
your buddies, or wine, whateverit might be.
Everything in moderation, right.
It's when it's going too muchand you're feeling your body
responding that, oh, my bodyisn't liking this.
Listen to your body.
My grandmother always told memy body was my temple.
I mean from, as that's some ofthe first words I remember Boone
B saying to me my body was mytemple and on Judgment Day, the
(37:46):
good Lord was going to ask mewhat I had done with it.
And I and he had given me gifts, and I better have used those
gifts which, look back, what agreat thing, for I mean, really
it was a beautiful thing she wastelling me, because what she
was saying was take care of yourhealth and do something with
your life right.
So I think that thatprioritized rest and nourishment
(38:08):
really resonates back to whatBoomby, my grandmother, told me
oh so many years ago.
She's a wise woman.
And then nature connectionSpending time outdoors can be a
really powerful way to rechargeyour mental and emotional
batteries, connecting you to alarger, more abundant energy
(38:29):
source more abundant energysource.
So you know, I've got lots ofepisodes where I'm helping you
walk through grounding, whereyou go outside barefoot and
ground.
I think that's very important.
Walking outside, as I mentioned, is important, just going out
and playing your puppy dog.
I've got Nigerian pygmy goats.
I may be leaving out somethingin there.
(38:50):
Anyway, they're precious littlegoats that are small and I go
out and just watch them at timesbecause they're just so fun.
We've got a fire pit out thereby where the goats come in to
sleep at night and I just sitout there and watch them and all
kinds of joy from that.
So it doesn't have to cost youanything y'all.
It's just a matter ofprioritizing how you take care
(39:13):
of you with the 24 hours we havein a day.
So, physical and environmentaldecluttering, creating flow.
Optimize your workspace,movement and somatic release.
Prioritize rest and nourishmentand nature connection.
So see, decluttering yourenergy, it's not a one-time
event.
Nothing we do is right.
(39:34):
It's ongoing.
It's not one and done.
It's a continuous,compassionate practice.
It's about regularly sweepingaway the dust and debris that
accumulate from the demandingnature of your work.
By creating space mental,emotional, relational, physical
(39:59):
you protect your most vitalresource yourself.
A decluttered helper is a morepresent helper, a more
compassionate helper, a moreresilient helper and, ultimately
, a more compassionate helper, amore resilient helper and,
ultimately, a more sustainablehelper.
This active investment in yourenergy allows you to show up
(40:21):
with more clarity, more vitalityand a deeper, more enduring
impact for those you serve.
So, okay, I have, I'm going tochange things up just a little
bit and just see what happens.
But I'm going to change thingsup a little bit Instead of going
through the activity that Ihave created for you I realize
(40:46):
it makes the podcast a littlelong.
You may be in your car likegirlfriend, I cannot get to this
Click, I'm done with thisepisode Instead of walking you
through the activity that I'vecreated for you and I have.
It's a great.
It is a great PDF I created foryou.
(41:07):
I'm trying to find the name ofit, oh, anyway, I've created a
great activity for you and Ihope that you find it's
something that is valuable.
So I'm not gonna worry aboutthe name of it, but it's
basically a way for you to besure that you have decluttered
(41:30):
Well, it's my energy declutteraudit and I've got a plan for
you there.
But I'm going to invite you toplease subscribe to my email
list For me to be able tocontinue to do this.
I really need subscribers andfolks to go in and review this
podcast.
Really would appreciate it.
(41:50):
You, this podcast, really wouldappreciate it.
And if you will be so kind asto sign up for my weekly email
where I'm going to send you thispodcast and I'm going to send
you the free PDF, bonus PDF,weekly, please hop over to my
website and get on my email listwwwjuliemerrimanphdcom.
(42:11):
I've got a blog over there.
I've got some other freebiesthat I think bring quite a bit
of value, so I really wouldinvite you to sign up for my
email list.
I'm going to say it one moretime wwwJulieMerrymanPhDcom.
So okay, friends.
(42:32):
Okay, so I thank you so muchfor hanging out with me today
and I hope to see you next week.
So that's all for this episodeof Soul Joy.
Thanks for tuning in.
Until next time, take a momentto clear the channel.
Protect your peace, keepthriving in your role.
Hey y'all, I'm Dr Julie Merriman and welcome to
SoulJoy.
Souljoy podcast is yourdedicated space for fostering
growth, effectiveness andwell-being.
Today we're diving into aconcept that is profoundly
practical for every single oneof us decluttering your energy,
because this is a very necessarycomponent of sustainable,
(00:24):
holistic self-care, also knownas wellness.
All right, hello, hello,welcome back to the podcast.
I am so glad y'all are herewith me.
So real, quick home chat.
I'm really excited.
Kelly and I are loading up andheaded to California this week.
(00:45):
I get to go to the EMDRconference there in Anaheim and
I am excited.
It took me a few years after myPhD to get into conferences
again.
Phd burned me out so bad.
Really it's been a lot of years.
But anyway, I'm excited to getback into the conference scene
and I'm all about EMDR.
(01:07):
I love using EMDR with internalfamily systems.
I just think that is such a funmodality and I'm excited to get
some more training in it thisweek.
And I'm really excited thatKelly, since he's retired as a
state trooper and he's justdoing the full-time farming and
ranching, he's available totravel with me.
So that's a little extra treatfor us.
(01:27):
So anyway, back to the show.
Okay, professional helpers.
This podcast is dedicated topreventing and overcoming the
occupational hazards of thiscareer that we've chosen.
And specifically, y'all I'mtalking to you about burnout and
compassion, fatigue, and we'regoing to sprinkle a little bit
(01:48):
of vicarious trauma in there too.
So y'all know, as helpingprofessionals, we are constantly
taking in, processing andnavigating various forms of
energy, right, I mean, I feel itLike earlier at church a gal
walked in who's usually real,bubbly and just full of energy,
and I just felt, in fact I saidto her I was like man, your
(02:11):
energy feels a little bit off,and she shared she had some
health issues going on.
But my invitation there is thatas professional helpers, we are
always reading others' energies, giving our energy.
It's not just a spiritual idea,it's a very real mental
(02:33):
bandwidth and there's anemotional capacity and a
physical vitality and y'all evenrelational dynamics in this
that define our work.
We absorb client stories, wemanage complex caseloads, we
navigate team interactions andwe hold space for profound human
(02:56):
experiences.
But y'all, what happens whenthat energy becomes cluttered,
stagnant, and I'm sure y'allfelt this I know I have
overwhelming what happens whenwe accumulate mental, noise,
emotional residue or unclearrelational boundaries?
(03:19):
Y'all it can lead to depletion,overwhelm and ultimately
burnout, which is why thispodcast is here.
I don't want us burning out.
In this field, the work we dois so important.
So, y'all, just as physicalclutter can make our space feel
(03:40):
chaotic, I know when I go in thekitchen in the mornings.
That's why I make sure dishesare done and the kitchen is kind
of clean or orderly before I goto bed.
Because when I walk into thatkitchen in the morning and if
there's clutter anywhere oreverywhere, it really messes up
how my day starts.
That's that physical clutterI'm talking about.
(04:02):
So I've made I mean, it'ssomething I do I make sure the
kitchen's clear in the morning.
I have my coffee alreadypre-made, so when I walk into
that kitchen in the morning Ijust push the button to start
and it really helps my day startbetter because I start with
some.
There's not emotional baggagein there, there's not a bunch of
physical clutter that makes thespace feel chaotic for myself.
(04:25):
So what I'm inviting is, justlike physical clutter can make
things feel chaotic, energyclutter can obstruct our clarity
and diminish our compassion andhinder our ability to show up
as our best selves for ourclients and our family.
I mean, I'm talking about theworkspace, but you can translate
(04:46):
this into your home space aswell.
Today, I want to explore withy'all what energy clutter means
in our unique context, contexthow it shows up in our daily
professional lives and offerpractical, actionable strategies
to clear the channel, creatingspace for what truly matters and
(05:12):
protecting your vital resourcesfor sustainable impact, because
that's big right.
We want to have sustainableimpact so that we're continually
making good clinical decisionswith those folks that entrust us
with their lives.
And I'm not being overlydramatic.
(05:33):
I mean it's a big deal.
I don't care if you're atherapist or a doctor or a nurse
or a teacher, or however youshow up in the helping
professionals realm.
It's a big deal how weinterface with others' lives.
So it's important to take thetime to define energy clutter in
(05:55):
a way that resonates with ourprofessional experience.
We're talking about theaccumulation of anything that
drains, obstructs or weighs downyour mental, emotional,
relational or even physicalresources.
So there's a lot at stake,right?
(06:17):
We need to think about a lot ofdifferent avenues and I don't
know.
I mean, I'm a seasonedprofessional now.
I'm embracing that, but thoseof y'all that I mean maybe
you're a seasoned professional,maybe you're a newbie, new
professional and I'm um for whatI just mentioned the energy
(06:37):
clutter that you know.
We're looking at mental, we'relooking at emotional, we're
looking at relational and we'relooking at physical resources.
(06:59):
As a new counselor, I didn'tthink about those depths, which
is why I stumbled, and if youread my book Insert in Pursuit
of Soul Joy, I really stumbledand I was terribly impacted by
burnout, because I didn't taketime to deconstruct this and
(07:20):
really look at all the ways thatI was showing up to help others
.
And so I invite you, as youlisten to the podcast, to really
look at it with beginner eyes.
And again, as I shared, I'mseasoned.
So I myself am looking at thiswith beginner eyes because I
think it serves us, regardlessof how long we've been in the
(07:42):
profession, that we take time tonot think well, I already know
that, because maybe we don't.
I think, if we will allowourselves to show up with those
beginner eyes, we can look atthings that maybe we've been
doing for 30 years and look atit differently and really garner
some benefit for not only usbut for our clients and for our
(08:04):
families.
So I just invite you to thinkof energy clutter in these
following ways there's mentalclutter, and that's the endless
loop of thoughts ruminationabout past cases, worrying about
future outcomes, decisionfatigue, distracting thoughts
(08:26):
that pull you away from thepresent moment.
Then we have emotional clutter,and this is holding on to client
emotions, unresolved feelingsfrom difficult interactions,
carrying resentment towards asystem, a colleague carrying
(08:50):
resentment towards a system, acolleague, maybe even a client,
or suppressing your ownlegitimate emotional responses.
And I'm going to put a breakand we're going to hover here
just a hot minute.
If any of these things come upfor you, you have not done
anything wrong.
That's why we seek supervision,that's why we seek consultation
.
We are human and we're going tohave human responses.
Our codes talk about theimportance of seeking
(09:15):
supervision and consultation,and if we're finding ourselves
in a real heavy place ofemotional clutter, I really
invite you to find someone toseek supervision with and
consultation, so that I meanthat's.
I just wanted to pump thebrakes about that for a hot
minute because I don't wantshame.
There's no reason to feel upsetabout anything that might come
(09:37):
up.
It's an opportunity for growth.
Okay.
Then there's relational clutter,and this would fall under
unclear boundaries, with clientsor colleagues maybe taking on
others' responsibilities, maybesome of our people-pleasing
tendencies, because those of usin these professions tend to
have those Now and I'm surewe've worked on those, because
(09:59):
good therapists, good doctors,good nurses, good helping
professionals keep ourselves intherapy right.
So we're working on thesethings on a regular basis.
But also this could beunresolved conflicts or engaging
in draining social interactions, so that would be relational
clutter.
And then there's environmentalclutter.
(10:20):
Like I talked about my kitchen,if I don't have it orderly when
I wake up in the morning, thatis a environmental clutter for
me.
And talked about my kitchen ifI don't have it orderly when I
wake up in the morning, that isan environmental clutter for me
and it's not a good way to startthe day.
So there could be disorganizedworkspace.
Take a hot minute, look aroundyour office.
What are you seeing?
If you're seeing it, sweetfriend, your clients are seeing
(10:41):
it when they walk in and itsends a loud message.
So we want to have a nice, tidy, organized workspace.
Maybe there's an overflowinginbox.
That could be snail mail oryour email, or maybe a chaotic
digital life that adds to mentalload.
Talking about the inbox in youremail box, look at your.
(11:02):
I invite you to close all yourwindows on your computer screen
and see what all is on that homescreen.
That's you know.
It's important to take the timeto organize our environment.
And then there's physicalclutter and that's a sense of
low vitality, chronic fatiguethat doesn't resolve with rest
(11:25):
or holding physical tension.
From stress, physical clutterwill get you.
I'm a very somatic therapist.
I want to take my clients intotheir bodies.
So even if we're on a virtualsession, I'm going to take my
clients into their bodies.
Where are you holding thatstress?
Where are you feeling thatfeeling?
(11:46):
I think that's eminentlyimportant.
Lots of great neuroscience toback that up.
Love the polyvagal theory aswell.
But when I look at physicalclutter and anxiety talk about
that holding physical tension Iinvite all of y'all to think
about how you're doing that foryourself.
And I want you, just right here, right now, we're all going to
(12:07):
take a big, deep breath, we'regoing to exhale, and I want you
to squeeze your shoulders toyour ears just as tight as you
can.
Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze,squeeze, squeeze a little bit
longer.
Big exhale and just let yourshoulders drop.
And do you feel that difference, right From the tension to the
(12:30):
release that is available to usat any time during the day.
I invite you to try that foryourself between each session
Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze andrelease.
Getting in touch with all thatphysical tension is important
because you're going to be ableto identify what is that stress
from.
(12:50):
Why are my shoulders so tight?
Why in the world is my neck sotight?
And I'm going to put a periodthere.
I could go on and on about that, but I invite you to do that
for yourself.
I'm sure you take your clientsthrough lots of somatic
exercises.
You need to take yourselfthrough that as well.
So see, what I'm saying isessentially, energy clutter is
(13:14):
any accumulation that preventsthe free flow of your life force
impacting your ability to befully present and effective.
How does this energy cluttermanifest itself specifically for
us, the helping professionals?
Well, you might recognize someof these signs and symptoms
(13:38):
below, and again, before I doany episode, I spend a lot of
time behind the scenesresearching and getting things
together for you because I thinkit's important.
So these are some things that Iresearched that could be
impacting you when you look atenergy clutter.
(13:59):
So there could be it could bethat you feel drained even after
a full night's sleep or aweekend off.
Perhaps there's difficultyfocusing or concentrating during
sessions or tasks.
Maybe there's an increasedirritability.
Maybe you're feeling impatientor emotionally reactive with
(14:22):
clients, colleagues or lovedones.
Perhaps you've noticed someprocrastination or feeling stuck
and unable to start importanttasks.
Maybe there's some resentmentbuilding toward clients or your
organization or even theprofession itself, that cynicism
(14:42):
that comes up that can kind oflean towards some of that
vicarious trauma, which, anyway,those are just things to be
aware of.
Perhaps there's experiencingphysical symptoms like chronic
headaches, persistent fatigue,muscle tension like I was
(15:03):
talking about in your neck orshoulders, and a gradual loss of
enthusiasm, purpose or joy youonce found in your work.
Oh honey, when I was fullyimpacted and on my knees burning
with burnout, I lost hope, Ilost enthusiasm, I lost my way,
(15:28):
I lost myself.
I really resonate with thatparticular point that I just
made.
And then the final point beingblurred boundaries where work
thoughts spill endlessly intoyour personal time.
You know you're not able to bepresent with your loved ones
(15:48):
because you're so worried aboutclients or notes you didn't get
done, or you know an insurancerenewal that is hanging over you
.
I mean it just goes on.
But all of those, my friends,all of those are symptoms of
cluttered energy.
So if any of these resonatewith you, my friend, it's a
(16:10):
clear signal that it's time forsome energy decluttering and I'm
of the firm belief any of usare going to benefit to take the
time to do a little energydecluttering.
See, the impact of unmanagedenergy clutter is significant.
It's a direct pathway toburnout, as I told you about
mine, and this is the mostcritical risk for us as
(16:34):
professional helpers.
Compassion, fatigue, burnout Ithink really are big.
Really are big.
Beyond that y'all it leads tothe following Reduced
professional effectiveness, andnone of y'all want to do that.
You've worked way too hard toget your education.
You've worked way too hard tobuild patients and caseloads and
(16:56):
clients.
You've worked way too hard tobuild your practice.
So reduced professionaleffectiveness is just not
something we want to stand for.
When your energy is cluttered,your judgment can be impaired,
your presence is diminished andyour authentic empathy may feel
(17:17):
way less accessible.
And then y'all there's impairedrelationships, and I'm talking
both in the office and at home,professional and personal.
These are going to suffer whenyou're operating from a place of
chronic depletion andresentment, and y'all we don't
(17:40):
mean to get there and y'all wedon't mean to get there.
I mean, I'm coming from a placeof where I have been there,
have that t-shirt, probably havemore than one, if I'm honest
and decided to dedicate myprofession to helping other
helping professionals not hitthat burnout and compassion
(18:01):
fatigued place because it's somiserable.
The last one we want to thinkabout what it leads to is this
loss of joy and meaning, andthis is a really sad place to
get to.
Having been there, we can getour way, find our way back, but
(18:21):
the very work that once broughtyou fulfillment can begin to
feel like an insurmountableburden.
You just can't imagine wantingto get up out of bed and go and
do what you need to do.
You dread looking at yourcalendar.
There's dread everywhere.
It's just a terrible place tobe.
(18:42):
That's that loss of joy andmeaning.
So, reduced professionaleffectiveness, impaired
relationships, loss of joy andmeaning those are directly
related to cluttered energy.
So how do we begin the processof clearing this energetic
clutter?
(19:02):
First, I'm going to take youthrough some things I've come up
with, but I really want toinvite you to hop over to Amazon
or my website and buy my bookIn Pursuit of Soul Joy.
Maybe find a couple of othercolleagues and you'll go through
this as a group.
It is a very actionable book.
It's not something you're justgoing to read.
You're going to read, you'regoing to read and work and
(19:24):
you're going to move to adifferent place, emotionally,
mentally.
I really invite you to do thatfor yourself.
But how do we begin the processof clearing this clutter,
energetic clutter?
It's a continuous, multifacetedpractice that involves
intentional choices and small,consistent actions across
(19:50):
different dimensions of yourbeing okay.
So, first and foremost, mentaldecluttering, quieting the noise
, right, I want you to takemindful breaks throughout your
day.
These are short pauses.
You close your eyes, you placeyour hands on your belly.
(20:12):
I want you to put one on yoursolar plexus, one on your sacral
chakra and just follow yourbreath for one to two minutes.
You can do that between clients.
I'm telling you, you're goingto show up so different for each
client if you do this foryourself and if you do this for
yourself before you leave theoffice to go home to your loved
ones, you show up different.
(20:34):
And as you're breathing withyour hands on your belly, I want
you to notice thoughts withzero judgment.
I want you to notice thoughtswith zero judgment.
Just let them pass, just becurious.
There is not a bit of judgmentto be had.
Thoughts aren't real right.
Our brain will come up with allkinds of crazy thoughts.
Oh, I could write a book on thecrazy thoughts my brain has
(20:56):
generated.
Creative person here.
Just because we have thethought does not mean it's true.
It is absolutely invited andpracticed and necessary to
notice that thought withoutjudgment and just let it pass
and notice your breathing andjust relax and allow yourself to
just be Okay.
(21:20):
So those are your thoughtdownloads.
That's how we're quieting thenoise.
I'm sorry, those are mindfulbreaks.
We're about to do thoughtdownloads, but we're looking at
quieting the noise, right?
So thought downloads slashjournaling are another great way
to quiet the noise.
So at the end of the day or whenyour mind feels overloaded and
(21:44):
we're all unique, we're alldifferent my biorhythm might do
it in the morning, yours mightdo it at night, someone else's
might do it at lunch.
It's when you need it, whenyou're feeling overloaded, you
simply write down every thought,worry or task that's swirling
around in your head.
You want to get it out of yourhead and on the paper, because
(22:07):
this can provide immense relief,and I know a lot of y'all might
prefer to type.
But I'm going to beg you to geta pen or a pencil and a piece
of paper and kinestheticallywrite that thing down or write
those thoughts out.
There's just somethingcathartic about actually using.
I think it connects your mindand your brain, mind and brain,
(22:31):
your body and your brain whenyou allow yourself to write that
out.
But and I also call it a braindump Sometimes I will encourage
my clients, I encourage myselfset a timer for five minutes and
just write, just dump it allout.
It's very cathartic and Ihighly recommend you try that.
(22:52):
The next trick to try to quietthe noise because, remember, we
are mentally decluttering issingle tasking right One thing
at a time.
Single tasking right One thingat a time.
When possible, focus on onetask completely before moving to
(23:12):
the next.
Close unnecessary browser tabs,silence notifications.
This reduces that cognitiveoverload and allows for deeper
presence.
Okay, so that is under thetopic of mental declutter.
I can't talk Mentaldecluttering, okay.
(23:36):
Second, the emotionaldecluttering.
This is where we need toprocess and release.
So rituals of release would bethe first thing to look at.
You want to create a simple endof day ritual to symbolically
(23:57):
leave at work.
This could be changing out ofyour work clothes, a brief walk
listening to a specific song,maybe a short debrief with a
supportive partner or friend.
Whatever it might be.
It's your ritual and you do itdaily and that triggers to your
(24:19):
brain it's the end of the day.
We're leaving this behind andwe're transitioning back to my
loved ones.
And then maybe you have an endof day ritual where it's the end
of the day.
I'm transitioning to sleep.
Maybe that's where you have agratitude journal where you
write down three things you'regrateful for for the day, or you
and your loved one, I don'tknow.
(24:41):
Maybe y'all share what happenedto the day.
It could be anything, but it'ssomething that triggers your
brain.
It's the end of this and we'retransitioning into this other.
The next one would be consciousemotional release.
So allow yourself healthyavenues for emotional release.
(25:03):
Y'all cry.
Crying is a great release.
There is no shame in crying.
I know we might have gottenmessages in our childhood about
crying, but crying is anecessary physical release.
So cry when you need to Engagein vigorous physical activity.
(25:26):
I have a punching bag out in mygarage and I love to go out
there If I'm really upset.
That energy has to move throughme.
I can't just talk about it,I've got to physically move it.
So punching and screaming in mypunching bag is an amazing
release for me and I feel somuch better.
I think that's why I'm soaddicted to exercise Addicted,
(25:49):
okay, I'll go with it, but Ihave to have my exercise at
least five times a week.
It needs to be pretty vigorous.
My body craves that and Ibelieve it's a way that I
release a lot of emotionalclutter that would otherwise
overwhelm me.
Then there's processingdifficult feelings in
supervision or therapy.
(26:10):
That's very important.
Don't suppress, but processwith intention.
And next, when we look atemotional decluttering, we want
to name and nurture.
So when difficult emotionsarise, acknowledge them.
(26:30):
I'm feeling frustrated rightnow.
Ain't nothing wrong with that.
That's a good thing.
Even better, if you canidentify that feeling, that's
great.
Then offer yourself a moment ofself-compassion.
Kirsten Neff, n-e-f-f, has agreat website about
self-compassion.
I believe she's out ofUniversity of Texas in Austin I
(26:54):
believe it doesn't matter SomeTexas university where she has
researched.
I know y'all already know abouther, but I'm going to share
again.
She has researched all aboutself-compassion.
She's done a lot of great work,has a phenomenal website.
If you're not sharing that withyour clients.
I pray that you do.
(27:14):
Clients need to know aboutself-compassion.
I can't tell you how manyclients have looked at me like I
have four eyes when I talkabout self-compassion, because
it's something they've nevereven considered.
She's also got a great book.
I know when I teach I need toadd it.
Well, at the other school Itaught for I had added it to the
professional orientation class.
When our new you know, newbiecounselors are just coming into
(27:36):
the program, I wanted them tolearn all about self-compassion
because I think as counselors weneed to know it for ourself and
be able to teach it to others.
But if self-compassion is not aconcept you're really savvy
with, I highly encourage you tolook up Kirsten Neff's work.
It's great.
But name and nurture difficultemotions and then offer yourself
(28:00):
self-compassion.
Difficult emotions and thenoffer yourself self-compassion.
So that's emotionaldecluttering, processing and
releasing rituals of release,conscious emotional release and
name and nurture.
Okay, you name that feeling andyou nurture yourself for having
it.
Then there's relationaldecluttering.
That's clarifying connections.
Boundary setting that's a bigconnections Boundary setting
(28:22):
Whew, that's a big one.
Oh, my Landa, that is such abig one.
Revisit your boundaries.
Are they clear?
Are they clear for you?
Can you name them?
Are they clear for your clients?
Are they clear for yourcolleagues?
Are they clear for yoursupervisors regarding your time
and availability and emotionalcapacity?
(28:42):
Are they clear with your lovedones?
Are they clear with yourfriends?
It's highly important that youare very assertive, not
aggressive.
Assertive about your boundaries, with zero apologies, zero
apologies.
Your boundaries make you abetter therapist, physician,
(29:04):
nurse, teacher, whatever helpingprofession you come in at.
Boundaries make you better.
And I'll tell you what else.
Your clients, your patients,the people you work with, need
those boundaries.
Saying a firm, kind no whennecessary is important, is a
(29:29):
powerful act of energypreservation, act of role
modeling for those who need tosee that and act of kindness to
you and others.
Because when we're going aroundsaying no, when we prefer
excuse me when we're saying yes,when we prefer to say no, we do
not show up in our best person.
(29:50):
It's best that you useselective yeses and offer no's
for when it's not right for you.
Firm boundaries are good.
I could go on and on.
I've got a podcast on this.
If I were, I should be such aprofessional podcaster and be
able to tell you which episodethat is.
But I do have a podcastspecifically on the art of
(30:12):
saying no, and in my book I havea whole chapter on it.
It's an art and it's one worthknowing.
Okay, so when we look at otherways for relational decluttering
, there's consciouscommunication.
Be clear about your needs andexpectations.
Address small relationaltensions before they become
(30:32):
large resentments.
All this garbage, as my daddywould say, all this garbage
about oh, I don't like conflict.
Yeah, that is our business, andI know being able to offer
conflict.
(30:53):
Well, that's not the right word, it's confrontation.
We need to be able to confrontour clients in a very healthy
manner, because that istherapeutic, and I invite you to
bring that into your own life.
Being able to address conflictand confront it and be upfront
with it is so much healthierthan dreading and just doing
(31:16):
something you don't want to doat all because you want to avoid
conflict and you're miserable.
That doesn't make a bit ofsense.
Conscious communication, beclear about your needs and
expectations and, my friend, Iinvite you to get clear and
right with yourself first, andthen it's going to be a lot
easier to take it to externalsources.
(31:37):
And then there's energy.
There's an energy audit foryour relationships.
So this is when you reflect onwhich relationships consistently
energize you and which onesconsistently drain you.
Invest more intentionality inthe former, your energizing
(32:06):
relationships.
Set stronger limits or distancewith relationships that drain
you, where appropriate.
Now we could have a wholepodcast on this.
Y'all are consummateprofessionals.
Y'all are adults.
You will use your as I used totell my children your
upper-level thinking skills todiscern that there's some people
we need to release with lovefrom our life, right, and then
there's sometimes we're in awork situation where we just
have to make the best of it, butaudit your relationships for
(32:30):
energy.
Which ones drain you?
If you can't rid yourself ofthem, then minimize your
exposure to those.
And the relationships thatenergize you fill your cup full
with those.
Okay.
So, relational declutteringwe're clarifying connections and
(32:52):
that is boundary settingconscious communication and
doing an energy audit with yourrelationships.
And then y'all there's physicaland environmental decluttering,
which helps to create flow, andI talked to y'all about how I
(33:12):
need my kitchen in the morningas I go to start the coffee pot.
I'm sure you all have a certainsomething or a feeling about
when you first walk into yourkitchen or wherever you go to
get your coffee or tea orkombucha or whatever you start
your morning with how you wantthat space to feel and look
right.
So when we look at physical,environmental decluttering and
(33:35):
creating that flow, we want tooptimize our workspace right.
We want a tidy, functional desk, a clear digital space that can
help reduce mental clutter.
You want to organize files.
You want to clear your desktopand you want to manage your
inbox.
You want your notes done.
You want to make sure you havea really rocking EHR.
(33:57):
I'm assuming most of y'all areinto an EHR now.
Maybe there's a few dinosaurssuch as myself who prefer some
pen and paper type of files.
But I have begrudgingly gone toan electronic EHR, although
sometimes I have to scan mynotes, my handwritten notes,
into my EHR.
But anyway, that still countsfor optimizing my workspace and
(34:22):
getting things organized.
Next we want to look at movementand somatic release.
Of course I'm a big somatic gal.
You want to engage in regularphysical exercise activity.
It's not just for physicalhealth, I believe.
I mean I get on my Peloton bike.
Let's see, I walk with the dogsfor a couple of miles one
(34:45):
morning, I do weights the next,well, I do weights in Peloton
bike.
Well, anyway, you don't want tohear all that.
That's boring.
But my invitation there is thatI don't know I'm doing it
because I want bigger biceps at62.
I don't know this is going tohappen, but I do it for my
physical health.
It helps release stored stressand stagnant energy in my body
(35:10):
and it will help you as well.
Practices like mindful movement,yoga I mean there's all kinds
of yoga.
If you have some health issuesand you're not able to get on
the floor, there's chair yoga.
I used to teach water aerobicsand for my it was a very gosh.
At the time I thought they wereelderly.
(35:31):
They were probably my agelooking back.
But there's lots of differentways for us to get physical
activity.
And don't negate how wonderfula walk is Hopefully an outdoor
walk where you get some vitaminD and explore the beautiful
world the good Lord has createdfor us.
Explore the beautiful world thegood Lord has created for us.
But you want to move, yoga,walking.
(35:57):
There's a plethora of movementsat your hand.
That didn't really make sense,but you know what I mean that
you can get to.
And then you want to prioritizerest and nourishment.
(36:17):
These are foundational.
Without adequate sleep, healthyfood and hydration, all other
energy management strategies arean uphill battle, a moot point
and y'all, it's pretty basic.
I mean, we all have differentsleep needs.
I need about eight, seven toeight hours.
That's optimum for me.
You want to eat healthy, right.
(36:38):
Less processed foods, moregreen stuff, stuff that the good
Lord made right, that manhasn't made into something else.
And then hydration.
I think we all walk around witha Stanley Cup or some kind of
water bottle of some sort.
It's really easy.
(36:59):
These are not expensivepractices, it's very practical
and y'all, we also want tomonitor our substance intake.
We also want to monitor oursubstance intake, you know, if
it's something to help us sleep,or if it's cracking a beer with
(37:24):
your buddies, or wine, whateverit might be.
Everything in moderation, right.
It's when it's going too muchand you're feeling your body
responding that, oh, my bodyisn't liking this.
Listen to your body.
My grandmother always told memy body was my temple.
I mean from, as that's some ofthe first words I remember Boone
B saying to me my body was mytemple and on Judgment Day, the
(37:46):
good Lord was going to ask mewhat I had done with it.
And I and he had given me gifts, and I better have used those
gifts which, look back, what agreat thing, for I mean, really
it was a beautiful thing she wastelling me, because what she
was saying was take care of yourhealth and do something with
your life right.
So I think that thatprioritized rest and nourishment
(38:08):
really resonates back to whatBoomby, my grandmother, told me
oh so many years ago.
She's a wise woman.
And then nature connectionSpending time outdoors can be a
really powerful way to rechargeyour mental and emotional
batteries, connecting you to alarger, more abundant energy
(38:29):
source more abundant energysource.
So you know, I've got lots ofepisodes where I'm helping you
walk through grounding, whereyou go outside barefoot and
ground.
I think that's very important.
Walking outside, as I mentioned, is important, just going out
and playing your puppy dog.
I've got Nigerian pygmy goats.
I may be leaving out somethingin there.
(38:50):
Anyway, they're precious littlegoats that are small and I go
out and just watch them at timesbecause they're just so fun.
We've got a fire pit out thereby where the goats come in to
sleep at night and I just sitout there and watch them and all
kinds of joy from that.
So it doesn't have to cost youanything y'all.
It's just a matter ofprioritizing how you take care
(39:13):
of you with the 24 hours we havein a day.
So, physical and environmentaldecluttering, creating flow.
Optimize your workspace,movement and somatic release.
Prioritize rest and nourishmentand nature connection.
So see, decluttering yourenergy, it's not a one-time
event.
Nothing we do is right.
(39:34):
It's ongoing.
It's not one and done.
It's a continuous,compassionate practice.
It's about regularly sweepingaway the dust and debris that
accumulate from the demandingnature of your work.
By creating space mental,emotional, relational, physical
(39:59):
you protect your most vitalresource yourself.
A decluttered helper is a morepresent helper, a more
compassionate helper, a moreresilient helper and, ultimately
, a more compassionate helper, amore resilient helper and,
ultimately, a more sustainablehelper.
This active investment in yourenergy allows you to show up
(40:21):
with more clarity, more vitalityand a deeper, more enduring
impact for those you serve.
So, okay, I have, I'm going tochange things up just a little
bit and just see what happens.
But I'm going to change thingsup a little bit Instead of going
through the activity that Ihave created for you I realize
(40:46):
it makes the podcast a littlelong.
You may be in your car likegirlfriend, I cannot get to this
Click, I'm done with thisepisode Instead of walking you
through the activity that I'vecreated for you and I have.
It's a great.
It is a great PDF I created foryou.
(41:07):
I'm trying to find the name ofit, oh, anyway, I've created a
great activity for you and Ihope that you find it's
something that is valuable.
So I'm not gonna worry aboutthe name of it, but it's
basically a way for you to besure that you have decluttered
(41:30):
Well, it's my energy declutteraudit and I've got a plan for
you there.
But I'm going to invite you toplease subscribe to my email
list For me to be able tocontinue to do this.
I really need subscribers andfolks to go in and review this
podcast.
Really would appreciate it.
(41:50):
You, this podcast, really wouldappreciate it.
And if you will be so kind asto sign up for my weekly email
where I'm going to send you thispodcast and I'm going to send
you the free PDF, bonus PDF,weekly, please hop over to my
website and get on my email listwwwjuliemerrimanphdcom.
(42:11):
I've got a blog over there.
I've got some other freebiesthat I think bring quite a bit
of value, so I really wouldinvite you to sign up for my
email list.
I'm going to say it one moretime wwwJulieMerrymanPhDcom.
So okay, friends.
(42:32):
Okay, so I thank you so muchfor hanging out with me today
and I hope to see you next week.
So that's all for this episodeof Soul Joy.
Thanks for tuning in.
Until next time, take a momentto clear the channel.
Protect your peace, keepthriving in your role.
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