Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey y'all, I'm Dr
Julie Merriman and welcome to
Soul Joy.
Today is about the very unsexytopic of time management.
You see, to get that solarplexus energy balanced, you need
to master time management.
It's really about boundaries,but tomato, tomato, we're going
to explore it.
So we're going to explore it.
(00:22):
This is necessary for holistic,sustainable self-care, also
known as wellness.
All right, hoo-hoo, I'm so gladyou're here.
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
And, as always, I appreciateyou taking time to hang out with
(00:42):
me for just a few minutes ofyour day.
So you know, are you over 60?
Am I the only one over 60?
Oh, yeah, I am, and it is soweird to find me trapped in an
older person's body.
When the hell did that happen?
(01:03):
But y'all, I'm embracing, Ireally am.
I'm embracing it.
My best years are still ahead,I know it.
I can still be fashionable, Ican still flirt with my hubs and
I can still dream sweet dreams.
And all this has come up becauserecently, kelly, my sweet,
(01:26):
amazing husband, has beenexploring retirement, as his
brain tumor has left himsomewhat visually impaired and
now he's younger than I am, he'sjust 56, 57 but he is having to
face that, the end of thiscareer as a state trooper, which
he loved being a state trooper.
(01:47):
He was an amazing state trooper, but y'all bad guys aren't
going to cooperate with hisvision issues.
So we are really up against thewall, re-looking at our lives,
exploring how we can retool somethings, and you know it's it's
kind of exciting, um, it does.
(02:08):
I mean, we don't get me wrongwe completely appreciate where
we are in life.
I mean, early on we worked ourasses off to get to where we're
at.
So he's got, you know,retirement and things we can
look at.
But we're at a life stage thatgot here way too quickly, I'm
not gonna lie.
I mean yesterday I was just 20something, the youngest one at
(02:31):
work, and now I'm the old lady.
But we have each other, we havewonderful kids and it's all
good.
So you know it's good.
So, okay.
So Professional Helpers thispodcast is dedicated to
preventing and overcoming theoccupational hazards of this
(02:54):
amazing career.
We chose looking at burnout,compassion, fatigue and
vicarious trauma.
So wrap your head around thatEverything I talk about on this
podcast has to do with how toprevent those constructs.
But also, if you aren't in thehelping professions, this
podcast is for you too.
(03:14):
Everything I talk about bringslight to beautiful things that
go on in our life.
So today we're talking abouthow well.
I'm asking you, how do you feelabout time management?
As I said, it's not a reallysexy topic, but it's an
important one.
It is core to your happiness.
(03:37):
I used to way overschedulemyself.
I think I could do the work of10 women in one day and I'd be
so cranky, so tired at the endof that day and worse y'all, if
I didn't get all that stuff I'dscheduled for myself done.
I would ridicule myself, Iwould talk so ugly to myself and
(04:01):
it was.
It was not productive.
Please don't do that.
True time management iscomprised of knowing yourself.
Y'all.
It's complete self-awareness.
You cannot practice healthy,holistic time management unless
(04:22):
you have done the work to becompletely self-aware and know
yourself.
I mean, that's true.
You have to know what yourenergy level is and what you're
capable of doing in a day.
I used to not be able to say no.
That robbed me of my happyplace.
(04:44):
It caused me so much grief.
Time management demands youhave the ability to say no.
Zero guilt, zero explanation.
You say no because it doesn'tfit.
You have the ability to managea realistic schedule.
(05:04):
You have the ability to managea realistic schedule.
Again, you kick guilt's ass tothe curb.
There's no place for guilt intime management or in a holistic
, sustainable, healthy self-care.
You know your life's purpose andschedule that into your
calendar.
(05:24):
You allow time for play.
You allow time for absolutelynothing.
You fire the words should, must, have to.
Those don't belong in yourvocabulary.
You accept that it is just fineto accomplish one thing in a
day, or maybe some days youaccomplish zero.
(05:47):
Very cool, you've learned howto prioritize and that's a big
word.
I mean, oh, that's a big word.
There's so much to priority andprioritizing your time and
schedule.
But I take you back to thatself-awareness.
When you are completelyself-aware it is so much easier
(06:08):
to be able to prioritize becauseyou know back to life purpose.
Y'all this is all solar plexuswork.
You know your life purpose, orplural purposes and you are
prioritizing your time, yourdays, towards meeting goals in
that purpose y'all.
(06:29):
When you have that clear lifepurpose or purposes, when that
is clear, the rest will follow.
And again, y'all this is solarplexus chakra balancing work.
Lord, have mercy.
I remember in my 20s when I feltI had to catch up with the
world or with my peer mates,y'all I married early.
(06:54):
Do not recommend it.
And that person he used to tellme I was too stupid to do
anything.
I was ugly and stupid, but hereally convinced me.
I was too stupid to go tocollege.
I went to hair school, whichthat's a fabulous career and you
(07:15):
have to be highly intelligentto do that.
I found the courage to go tohair school and by the time I
was 22, y'all, I owned my ownhair salon.
So I don't know why I got thisidea in my head.
I had to catch up, because Idon't know of any other 22, 23
year olds in my peer group atthat time that were that owned
(07:36):
their own salons.
But here and there, I didn'tstart college until I was about
25.
And somehow in my mind's eye Ifelt I'd missed out.
And again I had to play catchup.
And it was not true at all, butI started loading up my days in
a flipping frenzy to prove Iwas worthy.
(07:58):
Now, as I sit here today.
Now I could go deep and I'm notgoing to waste y'all's time in
that, but just you know, at thesurface, who the hell was I
trying to prove I was worthy to,or what was I worthy of, prove
I was worthy to, or what was Iworthy of.
(08:19):
I think, in looking back, itwas a blocked solar plexus
draining my self-esteem.
But the point I'm trying to makeis that this believing I wasn't
enough really that was theessence of it began my habit of
overscheduling and then beingwiped out each day because I was
so overscheduled.
(08:39):
And who was doing that?
Who was responsible?
Who owned it?
Julie, elizabeth, that's who.
I did it to myself, but I wouldwake up dreading each day
because I was so wiped out andso overscheduled.
Does that sound familiar toanyone?
Can you relate in any way?
It took me I'm embarrassed tosay until my 50s to really wrap
(09:03):
my head around how ridiculousthis was, this overscheduling
habit, and I'm sure there'sdopamine hits that were
happening and we could, you know, dissect this all kinds of ways
.
But it was ridiculous.
And I'm going to tell you mycalendar looks so different
today.
I don't schedule things untilafter 10 am.
(09:24):
I mean, I have to do stuff forwork, but to schedule a client
or something that's not going tohappen until after 10.
And I quit by 4 pm.
I am not giving up my evenings,unless I have to teach class,
and that's different.
My mornings and evenings aredesigned to hang out with my
beloved.
If he needs me for something,you better believe I am there
(09:47):
for him.
I will move my calendar around,as is needed to be there for
Kelly.
I have nothing to prove anymore.
I live to enjoy my life and,yes, as I said, I have a day job
and sometimes I have to putthings first because I have a
responsibility at work.
(10:08):
But for the most part, mybeloved is my responsibility and
my kids are my responsibility,my family, my friends.
But at 61, I'm crystal clear onwhat my priorities are my hubs,
my kids, my family, my friends,my self-care.
(10:28):
That's right, ladies andgentlemen, my self-care and you
know that order can changedepending on needs, but those
things are my priority.
The days of overscheduling, man, I'm telling you they're done,
it's over, let's stick a fork inthat it's over, it's done.
I look back, truly, y'all.
(10:49):
I look back.
I'm stunned at the things Imanaged to get done and how I
did them.
But I wouldn't even try thatstuff today.
So, as I say this, I'm going toinvite you to consider how
about you?
Does any of this resonate?
Here's my life lesson Timemanagement is meant to bring you
(11:13):
peace, p-e-a-c-e of mind.
Okay, that's why we bother withtime management.
It's not to shove and cram asmuch as you can into a day.
It's to look at that calendar,own it like a boss.
Babe, boss man.
You own that calendar and youonly put in there what you want
(11:36):
in there.
That's time management peace ofmind.
Okay, subscribe to my emaillist to get the weekly podcast
email where I send you the emailout and the bonus PDFs I create
to go with the activity I'mabout to talk to you about.
All you have to do is go toJulie Merriman,
(11:57):
wwwjuliemerrimanphdcom.
Go down to subscribe to mynewsletter and I will hook you
up, all right.
So the activity today is calledSolar Plexus Approach to Time
Management.
Isn't that crazy.
That solar plexus is rightthere in your upper belly Can
(12:18):
help you with so many things.
So with this, you're going tofocus on building confidence and
personal power by setting clearpriorities, tackling tasks with
focused intention and managingstress to maintain a sense of
control over your schedule,which can include techniques,
(12:41):
y'all like schedule mindfulness,deep breathing, setting
realistic goals.
Go back to my stuff.
Let's go back to realisticgoals that are aligned with your
values and that life purpose.
The key aspects of solar plexustime management are
prioritization you need to makethings a priority.
(13:02):
Prioritization you need to makethings a priority.
Clearly identify your mostimportant tasks and focus your
energy on completing those first.
Mindful decision making Avoiddistractions and impulsive
choices.
You take a moment to check inwith your gut.
We have brain cells there too,y'all we make, we make things.
(13:26):
Our brain cells are in our gut.
That gut feeling is a real.
It's real, but you check inwith your gut before you commit
to a task.
Self-awareness you recognizeyour energy levels throughout
the day and schedule demandingtasks when you feel most focused
and capable.
Positive self-talk you useaffirmations and encouraging
(13:50):
language to boost yourconfidence and motivation,
especially when you're tacklingsomething challenging.
And then time blocking that'swhat I'm doing right now as I
make my podcast.
You allocate specific time slotsfor specific tasks to maintain
structure and prevent thatmultitasking, because that's for
(14:11):
the birds.
One thing at a time.
Stress management Again y'all.
I have a PDF where I have allthis laid out.
Stress management techniquesyou incorporate deep breathing,
meditation, short breaks so thatyou can manage stress and
maintain inner balance.
Right, easy peasy, but you gotto schedule it.
(14:35):
Now let's consider how to applysolar plexus time management.
Okay, we're applying it.
We're creating our timemanagement policy.
I've been writing a lot of thatPolicy for your life.
So you start your day withintention.
You don't start it with dreador in a frenzy that I've got
(14:59):
commitments, I got to do nosirree.
You start that day withintention and you begin each
morning by setting your cleargoals and you visualize your
success in achieving them.
Sweet soul, you set realisticgoals.
You break down large projectsinto smaller, manageable,
bite-sized pieces.
(15:19):
You delegate effectivelyAbsolutely.
That is not being lazy, that isworking smart.
You delegate effectivelyAbsolutely.
That is not being lazy, that isworking smart.
You delegate effectively.
You trust your abilities andyou delegate tasks that don't
align Also like with my team atwork.
I delegate stuff so they knowthey are an important part of my
team.
I could do it, but why, when ithelps them feel like they're
(15:45):
part of the team?
Delegate, free up your time soyou can focus on your priorities
and you delegate.
You practice that mindfulness,as we mentioned.
You pay attention to yourthoughts, your emotions, while
working to identify and managedistractions and y'all.
I think we miss this so much.
(16:05):
Please do this for youCelebrate achievements,
acknowledge your progress.
Hell yes, I don't care howsmall it is, acknowledge it.
Celebrate small wins.
That helps you maintain yourmotivation.
Okay, easy, right, I know it'seasier said than done, but you
(16:29):
can do this for you, and I'dalso like to invite you to look
at yoga and meditation.
That's going to I've mentionedthat before this month and in
our time together but practicebreath of fire, that rapid
breathing technique.
It can really energize you andfocus the mind.
Try a bow pose.
(16:50):
That back bending pose can openup your solar plexus and let it
just drink in vitamin d.
Do it outside, let vitamin djust drink in.
Or try a boat pose, where youstrengthen your core, your core
strength, and it also helpsenhance your self-confidence.
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Don't negate yoga.
It's so important and I alsowant you to think about these
considerations when in whenaddressing some imbalances in
your solar plexus.
If you're experiencingexcessive self-doubt or maybe
you're a little bit cocky andoverconfident, consider
(17:30):
practicing to balance your solarplexus energy and that could be
that yoga practice that Imentioned.
Or, you know, if you're reallystruggling with significant time
management challenges, do whatI did Go to your therapist or
consult a coach.
Get some people in there tohelp you.
You're worth the time, you'reworth the effort, and the
(17:55):
benefits can be phenomenal.
Okay, friends, that's it fortoday.
Subscribe to my podcast, whereyou listen, leave a review and,
until next time, take care ofyou.