When Your Goals Are Met but Your Journey Isn't Over: Discovering New Life Purposes

Send us your thoughts!

The quest for purpose is a lifelong journey that evolves as we move through different life stages. What happens when you've achieved all your major life goals and that once-unquenchable fire in your belly begins to fade? This fascinating exploration of life purpose delves into the sometimes disorienting period that follows major achievements.

Drawing from personal experience navigating the empty nest phase while enjoying a 34-year marriage to her "bestie," Dr. Julie Merriman offers profound insights into rediscovering purpose when your checklist of life goals has been completed. She shares her own journey of trying to reignite that motivational spark that had driven her since her twenties, acknowledging that this transition isn't depression but rather a natural evolution requiring intentional exploration.

At the heart of this discussion is the solar plexus chakra – our energetic center of purpose, motivation, and personal power. Through a thoughtfully designed four-question framework, Dr. Merriman guides listeners through discovering what truly energizes them, who they genuinely want to help, what causes align with their deepest values, and what sacrifices feel worthwhile for their next chapter. This isn't just philosophical musing but practical wellness work that helps prevent burnout, compassion fatigue, and vicarious trauma, especially for those in helping professions.

Whether you're approaching retirement, entering an empty nest phase, or simply feeling that your current purpose has run its course, this episode provides the reflective tools needed to discover your next chapter. Through grounding practices, journaling prompts, and meditation suggestions, you'll learn how to balance your solar plexus chakra and reignite that essential fire that makes waking up each day a joy. What will your next purpose be? The answer lies in these powerful questions and the thoughtful exploration they inspire.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey y'all, I'm Dr Julie Merriman and welcome to
SoulJoy.
Today I'm going to chat withyou about life purpose or
purposes.
Getting clarity on your lifepurpose is important and y'all,
they change over time, but it'sa necessary component of

(00:21):
holistic, sustainable self-care,also known as wellness.
All right, welcome, welcome,welcome.
I appreciate you taking a fewminutes out of your day to hang
out with me.
I mean, really I appreciate it,thank you.

(00:41):
So here at the Merriman Home,we you know, if you've listened
to me for a hot minute, whichseems to be my favorite word
today but if you've listened tome for a bit, you know we've
been battling cancer the cancerfront both of us, but my
husband's been a bit moreimpacted and what I've really

(01:03):
come to appreciate is that I'vebeen reveling in the joy that
y'all I get to hang out with mybestie a lot.
I mean, we've had busy, busylives.
We've been together 34 years.
We we got together young, webuilt our careers, we've raised
babies and now we're to thepoint where things are kind of
quieting down and we're back tolike it was when we were dating.

(01:27):
I mean, it's just so fun.
We just get to hang out and heis my very best friend.
We get to hang out and we getto piddle around and do things
that bring joy to us, and I tellyou, this empty nesting thing
is the best, especially whenyou've married your soulmate,
and I was very lucky in that.

(01:47):
Right now we're looking intosome maybe planning a European
cruise sometime this year, and Ithink that that's going to be
so fab.
I get to go to that marvelousplayground with my handsome
bestie, so that is so fun.
I'm looking forward to it.
But okay, professional helpers,this podcast is dedicated to

(02:12):
preventing and overcoming theoccupational hazards of the
career we chose, and thosehazards are burnout, compassion,
fatigue and don't you forgetthat vicarious trauma that one
can really bite you in the butt.
So I'm sitting here doing thisbecause it's my passion to try
and help y'all know how toprevent those being impacted by

(02:39):
those constructs, but also, youknow it's for everyone.
You don't have to be aprofessional helper.
I just want to see us takebetter care of ourselves.
Okay, so maybe it's my age, youknow.
I'm just not sure.
I've been doing lots of therapyand energy work lately, um, but

(03:00):
I gotta be be honest.
That motivation, that zest forlife that got me up and had me
working 24-7, which I don'trecommend that.
But even since my 20s I've beendriven.
I've been very.
I had lots of goals I wanted tomeet and I was going to get
them done.
Come hell or high water, I wasgoing to get them done, but

(03:25):
lately and again, maybe it's myage that zest has just kind of
dissipated my therapist and Isurmise that perhaps it's
because I've met the goals I'veset for myself in life and I had
some pretty audacious goals outthere that you know, I never
thought twice, I just dug in andwent after them and that was my

(03:49):
life's purpose.
But now I'm in a space where I'mtrying to define, trying to
discern that next chapter.
And you know, as I started thepodcast, maybe that next chapter
is hanging out with my bestieand doing all the things we
didn't have time to do becausewe were so busy working, but
maybe not.
I mean absolutely that's partof it, but maybe there's more.

(04:12):
I'm just in that space whereI'm trying to find that next
chapter.
I'm not too old to be done.
I have no inkling of wanting toretire and it's not too late to
fire up some new life purposeor purposes.
We can pluralize that, but nothaving a clearly defined purpose

(04:37):
, really y'all.
It leaves me in kind of a funk,some days Kind of like what's it
matter, some days Kind of likewhat's it matter?
This mindset doesn't suit me,doesn't serve me, it does not
fire me up.
If and when you get there and Ihope you don't, but if you do,
it just would not serve youeither we need to have that

(05:00):
little drive, that little firein our belly, our solar plexus
balanced and working.
And so, yeah, it requires moresolar plexus work.
You know that's the energycenter that is really going to
speak to me and you when we lookat our life purpose.
So it's time for me to reallysit back and find some goals to

(05:25):
declare and define actionablesteps to get there.
And again, I'm looking for thatfire in my belly.
Man, I'm telling you y'all, Ihad it.
I mean, I remember from myearly 20s that fire in my belly
set in and it didn't dissipateto very recently.
But again, I've met those goals.

(05:48):
It's time to find new ones.
But here's what I'm doing andI'm going to share it in hopes
it will work for you too.
So we're going to segue intothe activity I have planned for
us.
But let me just clarify I'm notdepressed.

(06:08):
This isn't.
And I keep myself in therapybecause I think it's good and I
want to continue growing.
And I know as a therapist Itake on other people's stuff.
I have to have a place torelease it.
But I so I'm not depressed.
But it does make me a bit sadat times because I miss that

(06:30):
fire in my belly.
I really miss that excitement,waking up, motivated and just
like, whew, let's do this.
So I've been working very hardrecently to try and reignite
that fire in my belly.
So this is the the activity I'mgoing to share with you.
But before I do that, I justwant to remind you to subscribe

(06:51):
to my email list.
Just hop on over to my website,wwwjuliemerrimanphdcom, drop
down to the bottom where ittalks about signing up for my
newsletter, and if you do that,I will email you this podcast
each week, along with the pdfsthat I create that go with this
activity.
But the activity we're going todo today I call it again.

(07:15):
I'm so creative with these I'mnot I'm laughing at myself, but
the activity.
I call it discover your lifepurpose, or that could be plural
.
I believe we have an umbrellapurpose, but I believe there's
lots of different categoriesunder that umbrella purpose.
So I think that we can makethat a plural life purposes.

(07:37):
But first I want you to know Igo into this really deep in week
six.
Week six is really all aboutyour solar plexus chakra in my
book In Pursuit of Soul Joy.
So if you don't have a copy, Iencourage you to hop on over and
get one.
They're on my website.
But there's simple steps thatI'm going to talk you through.

(08:00):
The first step is well, first Iwant you to ground yourself.
Maybe you go on a walk outside,absorb some of that yummy
vitamin D.
Maybe you do some somaticgrounding exercises, maybe some
bioenergetic things to move someenergy through your body, get
in a headspace where you'reclear.

(08:21):
Maybe you do some breath work.
I mean breath work is awesome.
Maybe some meditationvisualization can't.
Or I mean breath work isawesome, maybe some meditation
visualization.
Sometimes for me and you know,for me it's just as simple I
have something perseverating inmy little pea brain and I go
find my amazing soulmate and Ijust talk to Kelly.

(08:42):
We just have a conversation.
He is so grounded and and sogood about helping me explore my
feelings and he's not afraid toexplore his.
It's just an amazingpartnership that we have.
But sometimes that's what Ineed to get grounded.
So maybe you need to talk toyour person.
But once you feel somewhatgrounded, here's the simple

(09:02):
steps I want you to go through.
And again we're looking at lifepurpose.
So first I want you to askyourself what energizes you?
What brings that fire in yourbelly to life?
This y'all is an activity thatyou know.
You're in the zone.

(09:22):
When you're doing it, you feelaligned with your purpose in
life.
Time just goes by and you lookup and you're like, wow, I can't
believe it's that time.
I've been so in this zone in agood way.
So what energizes you?
And you know I want you tojournal about this.

(09:43):
I'm always going to have youjournal, to have you journal.
Next, I want you to ask who doyou long to help?
You know it brings up that firein the belly, is it?
I mean, what group interestsyou?
Do you want to work withpuppies?
Do you want to work in yourgarden with plants?

(10:04):
Do you want to helpunderprivileged kids or kids at
risk?
Do you want to work with theelderly?
Is there a church group youwant to work with?
Do you want to helpunderprivileged kids or kids at
risk?
Do you want to work with theelderly?
Is there a church group youwant to work with?
Do you want to go do yoga andjust be yoga, everything?
Is it politics?
What group interests you?
For me, I love to traincounselors.

(10:26):
I love supervision.
I love everything in that world.
That kind of jazzes me.
Like I just got finished at theuniversity I work for, we're
going through an accreditationprocess for KCRIP and I just got
finished reworking the 60-hourcurriculum and y'all that does

(10:47):
jazz me.
That does get the fire in mybelly going.
I love writing curriculum.
I know it sounds blah, but Ienjoy it.
I enjoy teaching too.
That really gets me in my zone.
It might be teaching acounseling course or it might be
teaching a yoga class, but Ilike teaching as well.
What group interests you?

(11:08):
The third question what worldcause do you value?
Now, this is something thatdeeply matters to you.
This is where your passion lies.
I like to advocate.
I like to advocate, forunderdog isn't the right word.

(11:31):
I came up through life.
My daddy always said I dideverything the hard way.
I suppose that's true.
You know, when one gets buriedat 16, you're not making your
best life choices and, trust meme, this was not my fabulous
husband I have today, but havinggone through that horrendous

(11:54):
marriage really gives me a heartfor women who are in a domestic
violence situation or in asituation that is causing them
to not have the best quality oflife and not live their best
life.
So that's a cause that I feelvery passionate about and have

(12:15):
done work around that.
So that's what I'm talkingabout.
What world cause do you valuethat you are willing to really
push some boundaries about?
Next, what sacrifices are youwilling to make?

(12:37):
You're so passionate about thispurpose that the sacrifice it
takes and I'm talking about time, effort, money is a complete
non-issue.
You are going to do what ittakes because this deeply
matters to you and y'all.
That's it.
Those are the four questions.
What energizes you?

(12:58):
Who do you long to help?
What group interests you?
What world cause do you valueand what sacrifices are you
willing to make?
I want you to sit with thisinformation.

(13:18):
I want you to turn it into ameditation perhaps.
Maybe a walking meditation,maybe a walking meditation as
you're walking in a beautifulmeadow or at the park.
I really encourage you to takeit outside, because I think we
do some of our best work outside, where nature is speaking to us
, but turning it into some typeof meditation to help you answer

(13:41):
these questions and really godeeper and understand what's
important to you.
That's going to lead you to joy, because you're moving to
balance that solar plexus chakra.
And really, as I step back, asI'm saying this, this podcast is
passion for me, that reachingout to y'all and helping to

(14:01):
encourage holistic, sustainableself-care, also known as
wellness, is eminently important.
And I I mean just creating thispodcast, that the um sacrifice
not that it's like this greatsacrifice, but it does take time
.
I've got to write them, I'vegot to record them, I've got got
to purchase a platform to putthem out to the world.

(14:24):
I mean, that's what I'm talkingabout.
What's your purpose?
What gets your buzz going?
Take some time to dig into that.
You've got to balance thatsolar plexus chakra.
You might pop in and do acouple of solar plexus well, a
couple of yoga classes that arefocused on your solar plexus

(14:46):
chakra.
As you're working on this, it'simportant, you're important and
getting that fire in your bellyfired up so you can do what
makes you happy, brings you thatsoul, joy, man.
It's worth the time.
It is worth the time and Iinvite you to do that for you.
So, okay, y'all, that's it fortoday.

(15:08):
Subscribe to the podcast whereyou listen, leave a review and,
until next time, take care ofyou.