July 7, 2025 • 30 mins
Your inner voice shapes your outer boundaries—but what happens when they're out of alignment? This essential exploration of boundaries delves beyond the surface level of simply saying "no" to others and into the profound connection between your throat chakra, self-communication, and external expression.
For helping professionals and anyone struggling with burnout, these three interconnected pillars create the foundation for sustainable self-care. The throat chakra—your center for authenticity and expression—governs how you communicate with yourself and others. When balanced, you speak your truth confidently; when blocked, that familiar lump in your throat signals deeper boundary issues waiting to be addressed.
We examine how your inner critic ("You're selfish if you say no") battles your inner advocate ("My well-being matters"), and how this internal dialogue directly influences your ability to set external boundaries. Your body provides constant feedback through physical sensations—tension, discomfort, and that telltale tightness in your throat—serving as early warning systems that boundaries need attention.
Moving from internal awareness to external expression, you'll discover how to transform apologetic, hesitant boundary-setting into clear, respectful communication. Practical techniques include mindful self-check-ins, challenging negative self-talk, vocal exercises that physically open the throat chakra, and rehearsing difficult conversations before having them. The "Echo of Truth" framework guides you through integrating these practices into daily life, ensuring your inner and outer voices align.
Remember that establishing healthy boundaries isn't about being rigid or uncaring—it's about deeply caring for yourself so you can sustainably care for others. Download the companion PDF guide by joining the email list at juliemerrimanphd.com, and begin transforming your relationship with boundaries today.
Support the show's sponsors:
20% Off Aspire Drinks
https://shop.aspiredrinks.com/discount/SOULJOY
30% Off RSRV Collective
https://rsrvcollective.com/discount/SOULJOY
20% Off wearplayground
https://wearplayground.com/discount/SOULJOY
41% Off Cozy Earth
https://cozyearth.com/discount/SOULJOY
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey y'all, I'm Dr Julie Merriman and welcome to
Soul Joy.
Today we're expanding on acrucial theme boundaries.
We're going deep to explore howhealthy boundaries aren't just
about what we say to others, but, y'all, it's about how we
communicate with ourselves andhow all this is intertwined with
the throat chakra, because thisis a very necessary component
(00:24):
of holistic, sustainableself-care, also known as
wellness.
All right, hey, hey, hey,welcome.
I appreciate you taking alittle bit of time to hang out
with me for just a hot minute.
So let's start with what I liketo start with my home chat.
(00:46):
It is a busy day here at theMerrimans.
I've got a bulldozer out in thefront yard.
I've got workmen on the otherside of this wall in my master
bathroom finishing up a remodel.
There may be a little noise,but I chose to rock on because I
got to get this recorded.
We just got back from our secondhoneymoon after we renewed our
(01:07):
vows after 30 years of, I'mgoing to say, blissful.
There's been some rocks androads, some rocky times If you
read my book, I'm very honestabout that but it never ever
impacted how much we love eachother and how we feel about each
other.
So we did a quick vow renewalat the church we got married in.
(01:28):
I even was able to slip backinto my original wedding dress.
Kelly was in his tux.
He looked so handsome inBlakers.
Cliffy wasn't able to get hometo make it, but Blakers was in a
tux as well, because when wemarried the boys stood up with
us.
So, anyway, that was fun.
And then we popped over toOrange Beach, alabama.
Let me just give a shout out Ifyou've never been, it's
(01:49):
gorgeous and it's been a weeksitting on the beach watching
the waves.
Good times, good times.
Okay, professional helpers, thispodcast is dedicated to
preventing and overcoming theoccupational hazards of the
career.
We chose specifically burnoutand compassion, fatigue, and not
to forget vicarious trauma.
(02:11):
As professional helpers, orreally anyone, I always say this
podcast is for anyone who isalive, because you have.
If you're alive, you could beimpacted by burnout, compassion,
fatigue and or vicarious trauma.
But as helping professionals,our lives are a constant dance
(02:33):
between giving and receiving.
We're called to empathize, weare called to listen, problem
solve and often we absorb theemotional landscapes of those we
serve.
Without robust boundaries, it'seasy to lose our own sense of
self, to become depleted andultimately y'all less effective.
(02:57):
So let's break this down intothree interconnected pillars
that I've come up with.
I mean, I've come up with them,but I promise it's not an
original thought.
Others have come up with thisas well, but here's the pillars
I've broken these down into.
We've got healthy boundaries,we've got self-communication and
(03:19):
we have communication withothers.
Now, in my book Soul Joy, I dogo into this, if you want more,
but today in the podcast, I'mgoing to talk about how all
three of these pillars arefiltered through the lens of our
throat chakra.
First, let's anchor ourselvesback to the throat chakra.
(03:40):
Y'all and I've been on thistopic for several weeks now but
this is located in your throat.
This is your center forauthenticity, expression and
truth.
When it's balanced, yourcommunication flows, you feel
heard and you can articulateyour needs and values with
(04:03):
clarity.
Y'all.
You just feel comfy in yourskin.
But when it's out of sync, youmight experience difficulty
speaking up.
Maybe you feel stifled or evensome physical symptoms in your
throat or neck.
You want to think of this asthe volume knob for your
internal and external voice.
(04:25):
Okay, so let's talk about thisfirst pillar Healthy boundaries.
We often think of boundaries asexternal lines we draw, and they
are.
My office hours are X to Y.
That's a boundary.
I cannot take on that extracase right now.
(04:46):
That's a boundary.
These are crucial forprotecting your time, energy and
scope of practice.
But boundaries are alsointernal.
They're about knowing yourlimits, understanding your
emotional capacity andrecognizing when you're
approaching burnout before ithappens.
(05:08):
This leads us directly into thesecond pillar,
self-communication.
This is the internal dialogue,the stories that we tell
ourselves, the thoughts weentertain For helping
professionals, really for anyhuman, this internal narrative
(05:30):
plays a monumental role inboundary setting.
I know, as a professor, I spenda hot minute.
Well, every class I teach Italk about boundaries.
It's very important for youngprofessionals in the helping
professions to really get thoseboundaries straight.
(05:51):
But again, for any human, Ican't tell you the number of
clients I've worked with thatwe've spent time learning to set
boundaries and understandingwhy they're important.
Okay, so next we're going tomove to the inner critic versus
the inner advocate.
So this is part of that innerinternal dialogue.
(06:15):
That internal dialogue that's,you know, that's our
self-communication.
And of course, freud, I mean.
We can talk about all kinds oftheories that encompass this,
but we've got an inner criticand we've got an inner advocate.
So this is they're kind of at.
Maybe that's a conflictualthing even for some of us.
(06:38):
But how often do you hear aninner voice saying you should do
more, you're not good enough,inner voice saying you should do
more.
You're not good enough if yousay no, or oh well, yeah, you're
not good enough if you say no,or they'll think you're selfish
if you say no.
I mean all these little thingsrun through our heads.
These are self-communicationpatterns that can undermine your
(07:01):
ability to set boundaries.
A balanced throat chakra helpsyou to challenge these
narratives and cultivate aninner advocate, a voice that
says my well-being matters, it'sokay to prioritize myself, I am
enough as I am.
(07:22):
So I mean, see the value ingetting that throat chakra
balanced.
Do you see the differencebetween the critic and that
advocate?
How much better it would feelwhen that throat chakra is
balanced and you're able to sayyou know I matter and it's okay
that I set boundaries.
Next, you want to listen to yourbody.
(07:43):
As we're talking aboutself-communication, your body is
constantly communicating withyou.
A nod in your stomach when acertain request comes in,
tension in your shoulders beforea difficult conversation, a
tight throat when you want tospeak but hold back.
These are all forms ofself-communication.
(08:03):
These are all forms ofself-communication.
An open throat chakraencourages you to truly listen
to these signals, recognizingthem as early warning signs that
a boundary might need to beestablished or reinforced, that
(08:31):
your body will tell you whenyour boundaries are too
penetratable.
Porous yeah, porous is a betterword and if a boundary is being
pushed, infringed upon, listento your body.
I invite you to do one of thosefull body scans I've got.
If you go back to season one,I've got quite a few guided body
scans in the podcast.
I think that when we can getembodied and really feel what's
(08:54):
going on in our body, it givesus all kinds of signals and we
need to listen.
The other type ofself-communication is affirming
your worth.
This involves affirming yourvalue when you truly believe
you're worthy of respect, restand healthy limits.
(09:14):
Setting boundaries become lessabout fear and more about
self-preservation.
So think about how many timesyou've said yes to someone else
out loud, but inside, yourself-communication was a
desperate no.
That dissonance y'all is taxingand it's a weakness your throat
(09:39):
chakras well, and it weakensyour throat chakra Well, and it
weakens your throat chakra.
It weakens your throat chakra'sability to express your
authentic truth externally,because you're working against
yourself.
This brings us to our thirdpillar.
Okay, this brings us to ourthird pillar.
(10:16):
Um, so there's three pillarsand the third pillar is a very
important one, and I'm sorry,the bulldozer kind of got me off
track there, but I'm back, I'mback.
This brings us to our thirdpillar communication with others
.
Once you've established healthyinternal boundaries through
(10:40):
self-communication, vocalizingthem to others becomes the next,
often most challenging, step,and this is where the throat
chakra truly shines, or y'all,it truly struggles.
So in this, you want topractice clarity and directness.
An empowered throat chakra isgoing to allow you to articulate
(11:04):
your boundaries clearly anddirectly, without excessive
apology or justification.
Instead of I'm so sorry Iprobably shouldn't, but I guess
I can squeeze it in it becomeshey, I really appreciate you
thinking of me, but I'm unableto take on that task at this
(11:25):
time.
Do you see the difference?
In that?
Then, authenticity over peoplepleasing and this is a big one,
people pleasing when your throatchakra is balanced, you
communicate from a place ofauthenticity, not a desire to
people please.
You speak your truth, even whenit might be uncomfortable,
(11:49):
because you know it's essentialfor your integrity and
well-being.
I mean, I will do and I havedone a whole podcast over
people-pleasing, because thatreally is one that robs us of
not only our throat chakra beingbalanced, but so many chakras,
so much of our energy is turnedupside down when we people
(12:12):
please, and this is often rootedin something really deep, like
fear of abandonment, um, thefeeling of we're not lovable, so
we're gonna people please toprove we're lovable.
I could go on and on.
I believe in season one I diddo a full podcast on this but do
know, the more in touch you arewith your authenticity, the
(12:32):
more your need to people pleasevanishes.
Next, in this pillar, you'relooking at assertiveness, not
aggression.
Now I've done a whole podcaston communication styles, but
let's review right quick.
Healthy communication ofboundaries is assertive, not
aggressive.
It's about expressing yourneeds and limits respectfully
(12:56):
while expecting to be respectedin return.
This requires a calm, centeredvocalization, which, y'all, it's
hallmark of a healthy throatchakra.
And the next piece of thispillar is the power of no we've
talked about before.
(13:17):
I've done a whole podcast onthis and it bears repeating.
The word no is a completesentence, period.
I don't want to hear if and but.
Socially it's unacceptable.
Blah, blah, blah, no is acomplete sentence.
And the more or the sooner youaccept that and practice that,
(13:39):
the more empowered you become.
Learning to deliver it calmlyand confidently is one of the
most powerful ways to honor yourboundaries and activate that
throat chakra of yours.
So how do we bring all of thistogether and cultivate stronger
(14:02):
boundaries, self-communicationand external communication?
So we want stronger boundaries,pillar one Self-communication.
Pillar two Externalcommunication.
Pillar three how do we bringall this together and cultivate
these things all through thelens of the throat chakra?
(14:25):
Well, I've got some ideas foryou and I've also created a PDF
for you.
But I'm willing.
Activity with a PDF.
But let's look at this.
We've got mindful selfcheck-ins throughout your day.
I want you to pause and askyourself what do I need right
now?
Am I feeling depleted?
(14:45):
What is my body telling me?
This is vital selfcommunication, those body scans
eminently helpful.
Two you challenge your innernarrative when you hear that
inner critic.
When you hear that inner critic, I want you to gently but
(15:06):
firmly challenge that critic.
Gently but firmly challengethat critic.
Reframe I should do more.
Two I am doing enough.
I'm doing all I can.
I'm doing okay.
Use affirmations like my voiceis important or my boundaries
are healthy and necessary.
(15:27):
Throughout your day, when you'refeeling that inner critic
coming alive, vocal warm-ups andexpression are important.
You want to engage in practicesthat literally open your throat
chakra.
I've talked about this a lot asI've been working on this
throat chakra.
But remember, you can hum, sing, chant, simply make vocal
(15:52):
sounds.
This can be done privately, inyour car, in the shower or even
just humming a tune at your desk.
Y'all this physicallystimulates your throat chakra
and that's a good thing to helpget it balanced.
Next, you want to rehearsedifficult conversations.
I've given you activities to dothis.
But, as a reminder, if youanticipate a boundary
(16:16):
conversation, practice what youwant to say out loud, even to
yourself in the mirror, hearingyour own voice.
Articulate this boundary canbuild your confidence and help
reduce anxiety.
And let's just normalize andvalidate that Difficult
conversations are not fun.
(16:37):
I just have been meeting with alot of my students in a class
I'm doing and we're goingone-on-one over their counseling
skills and you knowconfrontation.
For any of us it's not a funthing, always rarely.
So just give yourself a littlelove that difficult
conversations might not be fun,but they're worth rehearsing and
(16:59):
let me tell you they're worthhaving.
They're absolutely worth having.
Just because something isuncomfortable doesn't mean you
shouldn't do it.
Okay, the next thing you want toremember is to start small.
We're not going to try tooverhaul all our boundaries all
at once.
We're going to pick one smallarea that you think improvement
(17:21):
is needed.
You desire improvement.
Perhaps it's a minor commitmentyou can decline, or a small
request you can postpone.
Success in small steps buildsmomentum, and your confidence
and your belief in yourself arein this process as well.
Next, you want to seek support.
(17:43):
Talk to a trusted colleague,supervisor, therapist about your
boundary challenges.
Vocalizing your struggles tosomeone else can be incredibly
empowering and a great way topractice using your voice.
Remember cultivating healthyboundaries, y'all.
(18:03):
It's not about being rigid oruncaring.
You've got to kick that thoughtto the curb.
It's about being deeply caring.
You've got to kick that thoughtto the curb.
It's about being deeply caring,caring enough about yourself to
sustain your capacity to carefor others.
When your boundaries are clear,your self-communication is
supportive and your externalcommunication is authentic.
(18:25):
You create an echo of truththat resonates from within you
and y'all.
This strengthens your throatchakra and allows you to serve
from a place of fullness, notdepletion.
Fullness, not completion.
You're your best self.
Your voice, both internal andexternal, is your greatest tool
(18:54):
as a human and as a helpingprofessional.
Learn to hear its truth andthen dare to speak it.
Okay, all right.
So I invite you to subscribe tomy email list to get the weekly
podcast emailed, which includesa bonus PDF that I create for
(19:17):
you each week, and this PDF isof the activity I'm about to go
over, but each week I have anactivity, and thus the PDF us
the PDF.
All you got to do is hop onover to my website to get on my
email listwwwjuliemerrimanphdcom.
While you're there, check outmy book Soul Joy.
(19:45):
It's a 12-week guide forovercoming burnout and
compassion fatigue, and maybeyou are feeling you're ready for
some therapy around this, and Ihave my calendar up on the
website too.
If you want to book anappointment, I'd love to work
with you.
Okay, so the activity today iscalled the Echo of my Truth
(20:07):
Integrated Boundary Practice.
Called the Echo of my TruthIntegrated Boundary Practice
Y'all this activity is designedto help you integrate the
concepts from this Soul Joypodcast.
By engaging in self-reflectionand practical communication
(20:30):
exercises, you're going tostrengthen your internal and
external voice in settingboundaries.
So we're going to walk throughthis.
If you download the PDF I meanif you got to hook up on my
email to get the PDF, but I'vegot everything all lined out but
(20:50):
if you're driving, just take aquick listen.
Maybe when you get home youreplay this part of the website
website, this part of thepodcast, to really take yourself
through this.
But the first step in this isstep one is to re-listen and
prime your mind.
I want you to find acomfortable space where you can
(21:14):
focus without interruption and,as you pay it close, as you
listen, pay close attention tothe interplay between internal
self-talk and externalcommunication, the role of the
throat chakra in both internaland external expression, and
specific examples of unhelpfulself-communication or external
(21:39):
boundary challenges.
In step two, my internalself-communication assessment, I
want you to open, if you havethe PDF, open the PDF.
If not, just listen along.
But part A of this step isidentifying your inner voices.
(22:05):
So step one really is justgetting your mind ready for this
next step.
Step two your internal echo ofself-communication you're going
to assess.
So, identifying inner voices, Iwant you to think about a
recent situation where youstruggled with a boundary,
(22:26):
saying yes when you wanted tosay no, maybe maybe feeling
overwhelmed by a request,perhaps or even feeling unheard.
What was your internal dialoguelike during that situation?
What thoughts or feelings arosewhen you considered setting a
boundary?
Could it be like I can't say no, they'll be mad at me.
(22:48):
I'm not good enough If I didn'tthink about saying no.
I've't say no, they'll be madat me.
I'm not good enough if I didn'tthink about saying no.
I've got to prove myself.
I want you to write down two orthree prominent internal
statements, or just think aboutthem as you're driving.
What would those internalstatements be?
And then, part B we're going torebalance the echo.
(23:09):
So for each unhelpful internalstatement you identified, craft
a more supportive and empoweringself-communication counter
statement.
So the example here might beyour inner critic says I can't
say no, but your inner advocatewe're going to reframe that says
(23:30):
it is a healthy and necessarything for me to set limits.
Or perhaps the inner criticsays they'll think I'm selfish
if I say no.
And the inner advocate reframesthis by saying to yourself
prioritizing my well-beingallows me to serve more
(23:51):
effectively.
So write down two or three ofthese negative statements and
then write down two or threecounter statements that counter
those negative statements.
Maybe you know again.
If you're driving, just thinkabout it.
(24:11):
Or when you get home, replaythis.
Okay, so that moves us to stepthree, my external voice
communication practice.
So part A of this is thechallenging scenario.
Choose one specific low-stakesscenario where you anticipate
(24:34):
needing to set a boundary orcommunicate a need in the near
future, like a colleague whofrequently drops tasks on you
last minute, maybe a client whocalls after hours, or a family
member, perhaps who makesdemands.
Briefly describe the scenarioand the boundary you want to
(24:57):
establish.
I set a pretty good boundary onmy phone with clients and here
in the state of Texas the rulesand regs of the LPC board say
that I have to let them knowwhat to do in case of an
emergency.
That's on my intake paperwork.
It's on my voicemail on my cellphone, which is a boundary.
(25:20):
That's just an example.
Y'all.
That's a boundary.
Maybe you want to look at Ifyou're answering the phone after
hours.
You really need to be setting aboundary around that.
But briefly describe thescenario and hours.
You really need to be setting aboundary around that.
But briefly describe thescenario and the boundary you
(25:41):
want to establish.
Then part B you're crafting yourmessage and vocalizing and the
principles of clearcommunication from the podcast
we just went through.
Craft a concise message youwould deliver, to set this
boundary.
You want to aim for directness.
You want to aim for clarity.
You want to be respectful and Iwant you to write this message
(26:04):
down.
Or, at the very least, ifyou're in a car, state it out
loud, let your amygdala hear it.
Say that out loud.
Now for the vocalization partof the practice.
You want to find a privatespace.
If you're in a car, it's agreat place.
(26:24):
In option one, you could standin front of the mirror and
practice saying your message outloud, paying attention to your
posture, your eye contact andthe tone and volume of your
voice.
How does it feel in your throat?
Option two you could recordyourself on your phone saying
the message, listening back.
How does it sound?
(26:44):
Is it clear, confident?
What adjustments could you make?
Or option three simply practicesaying the message out loud
several times, focusing on thefeeling of the words and the
activation of your throat chakra.
Note down any observations orfeelings during this practice.
(27:07):
Maybe did you get a lump inyour throat at first.
Then it got easier.
Maybe your voice soundedstronger than you thought it
would.
Maybe you need to slow down,maybe you're going through it
too fast.
And then step four throat chakraactivation and integration.
You want to turn to the throatchakra integration section of
(27:33):
your PDF, if you've got that, ifnot, just listen along.
Part A would be vocal flow.
Spending two to three minutesengaging in a vocal exercise to
open your throat chakra.
This could be humming, chanting, singing a favorite song or
simply making sustained ahsounds.
(27:54):
Focus on the sensation in yourthroat and the free flow of the
sound.
Then part B is affirming yourtruth.
Recite your chosenself-communication counter
statements from step two and theboundary message you crafted in
step three.
Say them aloud several times,feeling that vibration in your
(28:18):
throat, and then you concludewith the affirmation my inner
and outer voice are in harmony.
I speak my truth with clarity,courage and compassion.
Okay, and then I really inviteyou to reflect and do a little
(28:41):
journaling.
What was the most impactfulaspect of this activity for you
and why?
How did practicing the externalboundary message out loud feel
different from just thinkingabout it?
What was one surprising insightyou gained about your
self-communication patterns?
(29:02):
What's one small step you cancommit to taking in the next
week to further integrate thesepractices into your daily life.
Okay, so there's a lot there.
I really encourage you to signup and get my email so you have
(29:26):
these PDFs.
But okay, y'all, that's it fortoday.
Thank you for tuning in.
Thank you so much for tuning inand for all the vital work you
do.
Until next time, listen to yourinner truth, speak your needs
(29:53):
and let your authentic voiceguide you.
Subscribe to my podcastwherever you listen, and please
leave a review.
It really helps me to reachothers.
And until next time, take careof you.
Hey y'all, I'm Dr Julie Merriman and welcome to
Soul Joy.
Today we're expanding on acrucial theme boundaries.
We're going deep to explore howhealthy boundaries aren't just
about what we say to others, but, y'all, it's about how we
communicate with ourselves andhow all this is intertwined with
the throat chakra, because thisis a very necessary component
(00:24):
of holistic, sustainableself-care, also known as
wellness.
All right, hey, hey, hey,welcome.
I appreciate you taking alittle bit of time to hang out
with me for just a hot minute.
So let's start with what I liketo start with my home chat.
(00:46):
It is a busy day here at theMerrimans.
I've got a bulldozer out in thefront yard.
I've got workmen on the otherside of this wall in my master
bathroom finishing up a remodel.
There may be a little noise,but I chose to rock on because I
got to get this recorded.
We just got back from our secondhoneymoon after we renewed our
(01:07):
vows after 30 years of, I'mgoing to say, blissful.
There's been some rocks androads, some rocky times If you
read my book, I'm very honestabout that but it never ever
impacted how much we love eachother and how we feel about each
other.
So we did a quick vow renewalat the church we got married in.
(01:28):
I even was able to slip backinto my original wedding dress.
Kelly was in his tux.
He looked so handsome inBlakers.
Cliffy wasn't able to get hometo make it, but Blakers was in a
tux as well, because when wemarried the boys stood up with
us.
So, anyway, that was fun.
And then we popped over toOrange Beach, alabama.
Let me just give a shout out Ifyou've never been, it's
(01:49):
gorgeous and it's been a weeksitting on the beach watching
the waves.
Good times, good times.
Okay, professional helpers, thispodcast is dedicated to
preventing and overcoming theoccupational hazards of the
career.
We chose specifically burnoutand compassion, fatigue, and not
to forget vicarious trauma.
(02:11):
As professional helpers, orreally anyone, I always say this
podcast is for anyone who isalive, because you have.
If you're alive, you could beimpacted by burnout, compassion,
fatigue and or vicarious trauma.
But as helping professionals,our lives are a constant dance
(02:33):
between giving and receiving.
We're called to empathize, weare called to listen, problem
solve and often we absorb theemotional landscapes of those we
serve.
Without robust boundaries, it'seasy to lose our own sense of
self, to become depleted andultimately y'all less effective.
(02:57):
So let's break this down intothree interconnected pillars
that I've come up with.
I mean, I've come up with them,but I promise it's not an
original thought.
Others have come up with thisas well, but here's the pillars
I've broken these down into.
We've got healthy boundaries,we've got self-communication and
(03:19):
we have communication withothers.
Now, in my book Soul Joy, I dogo into this, if you want more,
but today in the podcast, I'mgoing to talk about how all
three of these pillars arefiltered through the lens of our
throat chakra.
First, let's anchor ourselvesback to the throat chakra.
(03:40):
Y'all and I've been on thistopic for several weeks now but
this is located in your throat.
This is your center forauthenticity, expression and
truth.
When it's balanced, yourcommunication flows, you feel
heard and you can articulateyour needs and values with
(04:03):
clarity.
Y'all.
You just feel comfy in yourskin.
But when it's out of sync, youmight experience difficulty
speaking up.
Maybe you feel stifled or evensome physical symptoms in your
throat or neck.
You want to think of this asthe volume knob for your
internal and external voice.
(04:25):
Okay, so let's talk about thisfirst pillar Healthy boundaries.
We often think of boundaries asexternal lines we draw, and they
are.
My office hours are X to Y.
That's a boundary.
I cannot take on that extracase right now.
(04:46):
That's a boundary.
These are crucial forprotecting your time, energy and
scope of practice.
But boundaries are alsointernal.
They're about knowing yourlimits, understanding your
emotional capacity andrecognizing when you're
approaching burnout before ithappens.
(05:08):
This leads us directly into thesecond pillar,
self-communication.
This is the internal dialogue,the stories that we tell
ourselves, the thoughts weentertain For helping
professionals, really for anyhuman, this internal narrative
(05:30):
plays a monumental role inboundary setting.
I know, as a professor, I spenda hot minute.
Well, every class I teach Italk about boundaries.
It's very important for youngprofessionals in the helping
professions to really get thoseboundaries straight.
(05:51):
But again, for any human, Ican't tell you the number of
clients I've worked with thatwe've spent time learning to set
boundaries and understandingwhy they're important.
Okay, so next we're going tomove to the inner critic versus
the inner advocate.
So this is part of that innerinternal dialogue.
(06:15):
That internal dialogue that's,you know, that's our
self-communication.
And of course, freud, I mean.
We can talk about all kinds oftheories that encompass this,
but we've got an inner criticand we've got an inner advocate.
So this is they're kind of at.
Maybe that's a conflictualthing even for some of us.
(06:38):
But how often do you hear aninner voice saying you should do
more, you're not good enough,inner voice saying you should do
more.
You're not good enough if yousay no, or oh well, yeah, you're
not good enough if you say no,or they'll think you're selfish
if you say no.
I mean all these little thingsrun through our heads.
These are self-communicationpatterns that can undermine your
(07:01):
ability to set boundaries.
A balanced throat chakra helpsyou to challenge these
narratives and cultivate aninner advocate, a voice that
says my well-being matters, it'sokay to prioritize myself, I am
enough as I am.
(07:22):
So I mean, see the value ingetting that throat chakra
balanced.
Do you see the differencebetween the critic and that
advocate?
How much better it would feelwhen that throat chakra is
balanced and you're able to sayyou know I matter and it's okay
that I set boundaries.
Next, you want to listen to yourbody.
(07:43):
As we're talking aboutself-communication, your body is
constantly communicating withyou.
A nod in your stomach when acertain request comes in,
tension in your shoulders beforea difficult conversation, a
tight throat when you want tospeak but hold back.
These are all forms ofself-communication.
(08:03):
These are all forms ofself-communication.
An open throat chakraencourages you to truly listen
to these signals, recognizingthem as early warning signs that
a boundary might need to beestablished or reinforced, that
(08:31):
your body will tell you whenyour boundaries are too
penetratable.
Porous yeah, porous is a betterword and if a boundary is being
pushed, infringed upon, listento your body.
I invite you to do one of thosefull body scans I've got.
If you go back to season one,I've got quite a few guided body
scans in the podcast.
I think that when we can getembodied and really feel what's
(08:54):
going on in our body, it givesus all kinds of signals and we
need to listen.
The other type ofself-communication is affirming
your worth.
This involves affirming yourvalue when you truly believe
you're worthy of respect, restand healthy limits.
(09:14):
Setting boundaries become lessabout fear and more about
self-preservation.
So think about how many timesyou've said yes to someone else
out loud, but inside, yourself-communication was a
desperate no.
That dissonance y'all is taxingand it's a weakness your throat
(09:39):
chakras well, and it weakensyour throat chakra Well, and it
weakens your throat chakra.
It weakens your throat chakra'sability to express your
authentic truth externally,because you're working against
yourself.
This brings us to our thirdpillar.
Okay, this brings us to ourthird pillar.
(10:16):
Um, so there's three pillarsand the third pillar is a very
important one, and I'm sorry,the bulldozer kind of got me off
track there, but I'm back, I'mback.
This brings us to our thirdpillar communication with others
.
Once you've established healthyinternal boundaries through
(10:40):
self-communication, vocalizingthem to others becomes the next,
often most challenging, step,and this is where the throat
chakra truly shines, or y'all,it truly struggles.
So in this, you want topractice clarity and directness.
An empowered throat chakra isgoing to allow you to articulate
(11:04):
your boundaries clearly anddirectly, without excessive
apology or justification.
Instead of I'm so sorry Iprobably shouldn't, but I guess
I can squeeze it in it becomeshey, I really appreciate you
thinking of me, but I'm unableto take on that task at this
(11:25):
time.
Do you see the difference?
In that?
Then, authenticity over peoplepleasing and this is a big one,
people pleasing when your throatchakra is balanced, you
communicate from a place ofauthenticity, not a desire to
people please.
You speak your truth, even whenit might be uncomfortable,
(11:49):
because you know it's essentialfor your integrity and
well-being.
I mean, I will do and I havedone a whole podcast over
people-pleasing, because thatreally is one that robs us of
not only our throat chakra beingbalanced, but so many chakras,
so much of our energy is turnedupside down when we people
(12:12):
please, and this is often rootedin something really deep, like
fear of abandonment, um, thefeeling of we're not lovable, so
we're gonna people please toprove we're lovable.
I could go on and on.
I believe in season one I diddo a full podcast on this but do
know, the more in touch you arewith your authenticity, the
(12:32):
more your need to people pleasevanishes.
Next, in this pillar, you'relooking at assertiveness, not
aggression.
Now I've done a whole podcaston communication styles, but
let's review right quick.
Healthy communication ofboundaries is assertive, not
aggressive.
It's about expressing yourneeds and limits respectfully
(12:56):
while expecting to be respectedin return.
This requires a calm, centeredvocalization, which, y'all, it's
hallmark of a healthy throatchakra.
And the next piece of thispillar is the power of no we've
talked about before.
(13:17):
I've done a whole podcast onthis and it bears repeating.
The word no is a completesentence, period.
I don't want to hear if and but.
Socially it's unacceptable.
Blah, blah, blah, no is acomplete sentence.
And the more or the sooner youaccept that and practice that,
(13:39):
the more empowered you become.
Learning to deliver it calmlyand confidently is one of the
most powerful ways to honor yourboundaries and activate that
throat chakra of yours.
So how do we bring all of thistogether and cultivate stronger
(14:02):
boundaries, self-communicationand external communication?
So we want stronger boundaries,pillar one Self-communication.
Pillar two Externalcommunication.
Pillar three how do we bringall this together and cultivate
these things all through thelens of the throat chakra?
(14:25):
Well, I've got some ideas foryou and I've also created a PDF
for you.
But I'm willing.
Activity with a PDF.
But let's look at this.
We've got mindful selfcheck-ins throughout your day.
I want you to pause and askyourself what do I need right
now?
Am I feeling depleted?
(14:45):
What is my body telling me?
This is vital selfcommunication, those body scans
eminently helpful.
Two you challenge your innernarrative when you hear that
inner critic.
When you hear that inner critic, I want you to gently but
(15:06):
firmly challenge that critic.
Gently but firmly challengethat critic.
Reframe I should do more.
Two I am doing enough.
I'm doing all I can.
I'm doing okay.
Use affirmations like my voiceis important or my boundaries
are healthy and necessary.
(15:27):
Throughout your day, when you'refeeling that inner critic
coming alive, vocal warm-ups andexpression are important.
You want to engage in practicesthat literally open your throat
chakra.
I've talked about this a lot asI've been working on this
throat chakra.
But remember, you can hum, sing, chant, simply make vocal
(15:52):
sounds.
This can be done privately, inyour car, in the shower or even
just humming a tune at your desk.
Y'all this physicallystimulates your throat chakra
and that's a good thing to helpget it balanced.
Next, you want to rehearsedifficult conversations.
I've given you activities to dothis.
But, as a reminder, if youanticipate a boundary
(16:16):
conversation, practice what youwant to say out loud, even to
yourself in the mirror, hearingyour own voice.
Articulate this boundary canbuild your confidence and help
reduce anxiety.
And let's just normalize andvalidate that Difficult
conversations are not fun.
(16:37):
I just have been meeting with alot of my students in a class
I'm doing and we're goingone-on-one over their counseling
skills and you knowconfrontation.
For any of us it's not a funthing, always rarely.
So just give yourself a littlelove that difficult
conversations might not be fun,but they're worth rehearsing and
(16:59):
let me tell you they're worthhaving.
They're absolutely worth having.
Just because something isuncomfortable doesn't mean you
shouldn't do it.
Okay, the next thing you want toremember is to start small.
We're not going to try tooverhaul all our boundaries all
at once.
We're going to pick one smallarea that you think improvement
(17:21):
is needed.
You desire improvement.
Perhaps it's a minor commitmentyou can decline, or a small
request you can postpone.
Success in small steps buildsmomentum, and your confidence
and your belief in yourself arein this process as well.
Next, you want to seek support.
(17:43):
Talk to a trusted colleague,supervisor, therapist about your
boundary challenges.
Vocalizing your struggles tosomeone else can be incredibly
empowering and a great way topractice using your voice.
Remember cultivating healthyboundaries, y'all.
(18:03):
It's not about being rigid oruncaring.
You've got to kick that thoughtto the curb.
It's about being deeply caring.
You've got to kick that thoughtto the curb.
It's about being deeply caring,caring enough about yourself to
sustain your capacity to carefor others.
When your boundaries are clear,your self-communication is
supportive and your externalcommunication is authentic.
(18:25):
You create an echo of truththat resonates from within you
and y'all.
This strengthens your throatchakra and allows you to serve
from a place of fullness, notdepletion.
Fullness, not completion.
You're your best self.
Your voice, both internal andexternal, is your greatest tool
(18:54):
as a human and as a helpingprofessional.
Learn to hear its truth andthen dare to speak it.
Okay, all right.
So I invite you to subscribe tomy email list to get the weekly
podcast emailed, which includesa bonus PDF that I create for
(19:17):
you each week, and this PDF isof the activity I'm about to go
over, but each week I have anactivity, and thus the PDF us
the PDF.
All you got to do is hop onover to my website to get on my
email listwwwjuliemerrimanphdcom.
While you're there, check outmy book Soul Joy.
(19:45):
It's a 12-week guide forovercoming burnout and
compassion fatigue, and maybeyou are feeling you're ready for
some therapy around this, and Ihave my calendar up on the
website too.
If you want to book anappointment, I'd love to work
with you.
Okay, so the activity today iscalled the Echo of my Truth
(20:07):
Integrated Boundary Practice.
Called the Echo of my TruthIntegrated Boundary Practice
Y'all this activity is designedto help you integrate the
concepts from this Soul Joypodcast.
By engaging in self-reflectionand practical communication
(20:30):
exercises, you're going tostrengthen your internal and
external voice in settingboundaries.
So we're going to walk throughthis.
If you download the PDF I meanif you got to hook up on my
email to get the PDF, but I'vegot everything all lined out but
(20:50):
if you're driving, just take aquick listen.
Maybe when you get home youreplay this part of the website
website, this part of thepodcast, to really take yourself
through this.
But the first step in this isstep one is to re-listen and
prime your mind.
I want you to find acomfortable space where you can
(21:14):
focus without interruption and,as you pay it close, as you
listen, pay close attention tothe interplay between internal
self-talk and externalcommunication, the role of the
throat chakra in both internaland external expression, and
specific examples of unhelpfulself-communication or external
(21:39):
boundary challenges.
In step two, my internalself-communication assessment, I
want you to open, if you havethe PDF, open the PDF.
If not, just listen along.
But part A of this step isidentifying your inner voices.
(22:05):
So step one really is justgetting your mind ready for this
next step.
Step two your internal echo ofself-communication you're going
to assess.
So, identifying inner voices, Iwant you to think about a
recent situation where youstruggled with a boundary,
(22:26):
saying yes when you wanted tosay no, maybe maybe feeling
overwhelmed by a request,perhaps or even feeling unheard.
What was your internal dialoguelike during that situation?
What thoughts or feelings arosewhen you considered setting a
boundary?
Could it be like I can't say no, they'll be mad at me.
(22:48):
I'm not good enough If I didn'tthink about saying no.
I've't say no, they'll be madat me.
I'm not good enough if I didn'tthink about saying no.
I've got to prove myself.
I want you to write down two orthree prominent internal
statements, or just think aboutthem as you're driving.
What would those internalstatements be?
And then, part B we're going torebalance the echo.
(23:09):
So for each unhelpful internalstatement you identified, craft
a more supportive and empoweringself-communication counter
statement.
So the example here might beyour inner critic says I can't
say no, but your inner advocatewe're going to reframe that says
(23:30):
it is a healthy and necessarything for me to set limits.
Or perhaps the inner criticsays they'll think I'm selfish
if I say no.
And the inner advocate reframesthis by saying to yourself
prioritizing my well-beingallows me to serve more
(23:51):
effectively.
So write down two or three ofthese negative statements and
then write down two or threecounter statements that counter
those negative statements.
Maybe you know again.
If you're driving, just thinkabout it.
(24:11):
Or when you get home, replaythis.
Okay, so that moves us to stepthree, my external voice
communication practice.
So part A of this is thechallenging scenario.
Choose one specific low-stakesscenario where you anticipate
(24:34):
needing to set a boundary orcommunicate a need in the near
future, like a colleague whofrequently drops tasks on you
last minute, maybe a client whocalls after hours, or a family
member, perhaps who makesdemands.
Briefly describe the scenarioand the boundary you want to
(24:57):
establish.
I set a pretty good boundary onmy phone with clients and here
in the state of Texas the rulesand regs of the LPC board say
that I have to let them knowwhat to do in case of an
emergency.
That's on my intake paperwork.
It's on my voicemail on my cellphone, which is a boundary.
(25:20):
That's just an example.
Y'all.
That's a boundary.
Maybe you want to look at Ifyou're answering the phone after
hours.
You really need to be setting aboundary around that.
But briefly describe thescenario and hours.
You really need to be setting aboundary around that.
But briefly describe thescenario and the boundary you
(25:41):
want to establish.
Then part B you're crafting yourmessage and vocalizing and the
principles of clearcommunication from the podcast
we just went through.
Craft a concise message youwould deliver, to set this
boundary.
You want to aim for directness.
You want to aim for clarity.
You want to be respectful and Iwant you to write this message
(26:04):
down.
Or, at the very least, ifyou're in a car, state it out
loud, let your amygdala hear it.
Say that out loud.
Now for the vocalization partof the practice.
You want to find a privatespace.
If you're in a car, it's agreat place.
(26:24):
In option one, you could standin front of the mirror and
practice saying your message outloud, paying attention to your
posture, your eye contact andthe tone and volume of your
voice.
How does it feel in your throat?
Option two you could recordyourself on your phone saying
the message, listening back.
How does it sound?
(26:44):
Is it clear, confident?
What adjustments could you make?
Or option three simply practicesaying the message out loud
several times, focusing on thefeeling of the words and the
activation of your throat chakra.
Note down any observations orfeelings during this practice.
(27:07):
Maybe did you get a lump inyour throat at first.
Then it got easier.
Maybe your voice soundedstronger than you thought it
would.
Maybe you need to slow down,maybe you're going through it
too fast.
And then step four throat chakraactivation and integration.
You want to turn to the throatchakra integration section of
(27:33):
your PDF, if you've got that, ifnot, just listen along.
Part A would be vocal flow.
Spending two to three minutesengaging in a vocal exercise to
open your throat chakra.
This could be humming, chanting, singing a favorite song or
simply making sustained ahsounds.
(27:54):
Focus on the sensation in yourthroat and the free flow of the
sound.
Then part B is affirming yourtruth.
Recite your chosenself-communication counter
statements from step two and theboundary message you crafted in
step three.
Say them aloud several times,feeling that vibration in your
(28:18):
throat, and then you concludewith the affirmation my inner
and outer voice are in harmony.
I speak my truth with clarity,courage and compassion.
Okay, and then I really inviteyou to reflect and do a little
(28:41):
journaling.
What was the most impactfulaspect of this activity for you
and why?
How did practicing the externalboundary message out loud feel
different from just thinkingabout it?
What was one surprising insightyou gained about your
self-communication patterns?
(29:02):
What's one small step you cancommit to taking in the next
week to further integrate thesepractices into your daily life.
Okay, so there's a lot there.
I really encourage you to signup and get my email so you have
(29:26):
these PDFs.
But okay, y'all, that's it fortoday.
Thank you for tuning in.
Thank you so much for tuning inand for all the vital work you
do.
Until next time, listen to yourinner truth, speak your needs
(29:53):
and let your authentic voiceguide you.
Subscribe to my podcastwherever you listen, and please
leave a review.
It really helps me to reachothers.
And until next time, take careof you.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.