72: Sit, Observe, Surrender: Demystifying Meditation -- Gloria Gonzalez, Certified Meditation and Mindfulness Teacher

For beginners, the act of meditating can feel intimidating and complicated. You might feel like you can’t quite get it right or are doing it “wrong”, but this week’s guest helps us rethink the notion that there’s a right and a wrong way to meditate. Helping us demystify meditation is Gloria Gonzalez, Certified Meditation and Mindfulness Teacher, and Lauren’s good friend! Join us as we explore the art of mediation and we hope you find some inspiration for how to start or expand your practice. 

In this episode we talk about:

• How Gloria found meditation and became a certified mediation teacher.
• Meditation’s connection to the body.
• How to allow the judgment that can come up in our mediation practice to pass through us and not let it impede us.
• The simplicity in sitting, observing, and surrendering.
• How your meditation practice is yours to create and that’s there’s no right or wrong way to do it.

About Gloria Gonzalez

Gloria Gonzalez lives near Houston, TX with her four greatest teachers, her two boys and her two cats. Self-discovery has been a life-long passion for Gloria. She has practiced meditation on and off for 25 years, even spending 7 weeks at an ashram in India. She became a certified meditation teacher during the 2020 Covid lockdown, and her passion is demystifying meditation. You can find her, the lessons she is learning, and links to her social media accounts at sitobservesurrender.com.

Episode Transcript

Amy (00:04):
We believe life can be a journey toward wholeness, toward
reconnecting with who we areauthentically meant to be. We
walk this path of growth anddiscovery with our children,
with our partners withinourselves. These are the stories
of what's possible. These arethe conversations that light the

(00:28):
way. Welcome to soul pathparenting.

Amy Cooper (00:33):
Hello, Happy New Year. Thank you for joining us.
This is Amy Brees Cooper. And Iam delighted to introduce
today's episode about demystifying meditation. And if
you've listened to the showbefore, you may know that I, I

(00:54):
would love to have a meditationpractice. But I'd be lying to
y'all if I said that I actuallydo. I try in fits and starts.
And I really this year want tocreate an intention of having a
meditation practice andcultivating that. And what I
love about today's conversationwith Gloria Gonzalez, who was a

(01:17):
meditation teacher and also afriend of Lauren's is how she
just makes it so simple. Itturns out y'all I have been over
complicating it, and judging itand feeling like I'm doing it
wrong. And I don't know if anyof that resonates with you. But

(01:37):
if it does, I think you'll findsome inspiration in today's
conversation. And if you are aseasoned meditator, I hope that
you'll also find inspiration inhow you might expand your
practice. So with that, we'll goto the episode. Thank you so
much. Enjoy.

Amy (02:03):
Hi, ladies. Hello. Hi, Amy.
So we have Gloria Gonzalez, hisname is just beautiful to
pronounce. And you're here totalk about meditation. So and
Lauren brought you into thisconversation. So I'm just
firstly dying to know how y'allknow each other.

Gloria Gonzalez (02:23):
Yeah, it's a it's a great story. So Lauren
had been living in Indianapolisfor a little while, I think I
was kind of new there. And I wasunschooling my kids at the time.
They were very young. But it wasunschooling my kids. And I just
moved from South Bend toIndianapolis, and I was not able

(02:47):
to find an unschooling group onFacebook. There was one but for
some reason, I was unable tofind it. And I decided I was
going to create the communitythat I wanted. So I created my
own unschooling Facebook groupfor Indianapolis. And Lauren
reached out, she was looking fora community to join. So we met
up one day with our kids at theIndianapolis Children's Museum,

(03:08):
which is an amazing museum. Bythe way, if you're ever in the
area, I highly recommend it. Andwe just hit it off right away.
Like, we could not stop talking.
Aren't kids, you know, they gotalong fine. But normally, I'm
very like, that's my biggestconcern is are the kids getting
along? You know, are theyinteracting? Well, I hardly paid
attention to that at all. I wasjust like, someone, I found

(03:32):
someone I think we both keptapologizing for like, I just
keep talking that I can't stoptalking. And but she seemed to
just go with it. And I was goingwith her and we just we just hit
it off right away. And so we metup again and again and again.
And it was kind of funny. Notlong after we became friends

(03:56):
like maybe within a year.
Lauren, do you remember how longit was? Yeah, but about a year,

Lauren (04:03):
I think yeah, yeah.

Gloria Gonzalez (04:05):
I actually decided to divorce my husband
and move back to Texas. So I'min the Houston area now. And the
majority of our friendship hasactually been long distance. But
that short amount of time thatwe got to spend together in
Indianapolis just I don't know,it was pretty magical and

(04:26):
amazing. And our friendship hasjust really grown into something
like deep and beautiful and Iowe a great deal of who I am
today to Lauren's friendship.

Amy (04:39):
Wow, that's beautiful.
Yeah,

Lauren (04:41):
I love it. And I'll just add on. I I remember that first
meeting at the IndianapolisChildren's Museum and I don't
know that I would have usedthese words that day but the
words I would use now is soulsister like soulmate, like I
found And a soulmate. And wereally did we hit it off, we

(05:04):
kept talking. And we wereapologizing, we both have some
similar stories, like I'm toomuch for people. So we're also
too much soul sisters, and weget to be too much together and
it's not too much. And so that'sbeen really beautiful and
healing, I think for both of us.
And for me, it was likeconnection made. So I don't care
where you are on the planet, weare gonna continue to stay

(05:27):
connected, and our friendshiphas deepened and grown long
distance. And it's beenbeautiful to watch each other
grow and evolve, we met at avery transformational, like
pivotal time for both of us, Ithink, and you've gotten to grow
up together in a way.

Amy (05:51):
How long have you known each other?

Lauren (05:54):
So let me see if I I'm never good with this kind of
timing. But I want to saysomething like six years,

Gloria Gonzalez (06:02):
I don't know, something like that five, six,
somewhere around there. Yeah.
It's it's weird to I'm also I,I've not paid attention to the
passage of time, but but it justfeels it doesn't feel like it's
been that long. I feel like, youknow, we just met, and I've only
been, we've only been away fromeach other for maybe a year, you
know, and we've done so muchgrowing, and it really has been

(06:25):
amazing and beautiful. To watchher, you know, kind of come in
to her. Like her passion, her,you know, her purpose. And just
watching her blossom and growand, and she's been able to kind
of watch me do the same. Andit's just really been amazing.

Amy (06:50):
That is a perfect segue into your passion and purpose,
why we're here to have aconversation today. Which
really, from what I can gatheris to demystify meditation, and
invite more people intomeditation. And so I'd love if

(07:14):
we could start with you tellingus that part of your story.

Gloria Gonzalez (07:19):
Yeah, so I've, you know, I think like most
people, we grow up in homeswhere our parents had unresolved
trauma. Unconsciously, they passsome of that on to us, they try
their best, but it just isn'tquite enough. And my parents had
their fair share, maybe morethan their fair share of trauma.

(07:40):
And so there was a lot ofdysfunction growing up, and I'm
a highly sensitive, like,energetic sponge. And so I felt
it all. I felt all of it, and itwas overwhelming. And I just, I
needed to understand it, Ineeded to understand why do we
suffer? And why are we here? Whyare we here if like, all we're

(08:03):
going to do is suffer. And youknow, as a young kid, your your
idea is that you're going tofigure it all out and save the
world. And spoiler alert, youcan't save the world, right? You
can only save yourself. But so Istarted pretty young, like doing
meditation and yoga. I think 18or 19 years old, I signed up for

(08:24):
a class and I went like threetimes a week. And I was really
into it for about a year was thebest year of my life for a
while. Like pre kids best yearof my life. And and then I don't
know, I got real restless. And Ikind of abandoned it for a
while. But I've had this like onagain off again relationship

(08:45):
with meditation, my entire adultlife really. And finally, in
2020, I decided to get mycertification to be a meditation
and mindfulness teacher. And itwas just in time, because almost
immediately, like I would sayprobably within a week of
completing that course. I hadlike three major things happen

(09:08):
all at once. We were in themiddle of the COVID lockdown. My
son got mysteriously ill. He washospitalized and he had been
sick with a fever for like twoweeks. All we knew was it wasn't
COVID But I was a mess. And Ifound out later I did not know
this at the time. I was goingthrough early menopause. And

(09:30):
that combination of like justthe isolation of lockdown that
the worry over my son and thenthis emotional like hormonal
fluctuation that was happeningthat I was completely out of
control of. I started havingpanic attacks like severe panic
attacks. Lord knows. Lord wasthere to support me through a

(09:53):
lot of that and it was intenseand I described that time as
like a living nightmare. It wasas if death was kind of like
this real thing that wasfollowing me around and bullying
me and like teasing me and like,we're going to go now like I'm
taking you now, like, I wasconvinced I was gonna die. And

(10:14):
finally, I just decided I wasgoing to stop fighting it. I'd
been fighting, you know, againstbullies my whole life, my dad
was a bit of a bully, I hadinternalized that bullying in my
own mind. So I've been dealingwith that my whole life. And
then now I had this, like, fearof death, like just hanging over

(10:36):
me. And I decided I was tired. Iwasn't sleeping, my insomnia
was, like, insane. And I justthought, you know what, I've
lived a good life. And if it'smy time to go, I'm ready to go.
And so I sat and I, I faced myfears around death, and I
surrendered to it, I let it Iwas ready. And of course, that's

(11:00):
when the anxiety and the panicstarted to dissipate. And I
learned a lot of that some ofsome of it, I've learned through
my relationship with Lauren,like, she's helped me have
compassion for myself and holdspace. And so that was able to
teach me to do that as well. Buta lot of it also came from
meditation and learning to sitwith discomfort, and to not run

(11:22):
away from those uncomfortablefeelings. And that really was
like a pivotal moment for me, Ireally felt like something
shifted inside of me. Andsuddenly, my meditation practice
became much more consistent anddeeper than it had ever been
before. And, and I just, it'sbecome a source of comfort for

(11:47):
me now. And I just think, Wow,this is, this is kind of neat.
This is something I'd reallylike to share with other people.
And, you know, I've shared withLaura and I have a little bit of
that imposter syndrome, youknow, who do I think I am to
share? You know, my stories ofthat special, you know, I
haven't gone through anythingmajor. And I'm not really saying

(12:10):
anything new, right, everyone,everyone can read up and learn
about meditation and thebenefits of it. But, but I also
believe that we all have, likeour own unique version of, you
know, the puzzle pieces, right,we all have a different puzzle
piece that fits and kind ofhelps complete the picture of

(12:32):
life. And so I'm, I'm at a pointnow where I feel like, my puzzle
piece has value as well. And soI'm excited to share the things
that I've learned and, and tohelp demystify meditation to
make it I really want it to beaccessible to everyone, because
it is.

Amy Cooper (12:54):
Well, I am excited to have this conversation. And
as I will represent all thepeople who struggle to meditate,
and still feel like it is amystery how to create a practice
and commit to it and, and reallyhave that be an ongoing part of
my life. Because you say thatyour relationship with
meditation has been on again,off again, mine is like on

(13:16):
again, off, off, off, off, offoff again. And then on again,
and then off of it just I'vestruggled to really commit to
having a practice. And so I'mexcited. I have a bunch of
questions for you. Before I diveinto that, though, I want to
pull on one other thread ofsomething you talked about,

(13:37):
because Lauren really has somepowerful thoughts that she
shared with me about makingfriends with death. And I was
just wondering, Lauren, if therewas anything, as Gloria was
speaking that you wanted to sortof build on.

Lauren (13:53):
I love what Gloria shared about surrendering to
death. And that the way I hearher story is that was her moment
of choosing to go all the waythrough the dark tunnel. And I
think a lot of people haveexperiences, whether it's in

(14:18):
terms of facing death, or facingother fears, other uncomfortable
feelings, other things that, youknow, may or may not all relate
back to death. I mean, onetheory is that all fear is
connected to fear of death. Soit's all connected to that. And
we have a choice. We can resist,we can fight. We can try to go

(14:41):
in the other direction. That'stotally understandable. I have
all the compassion in the worldfor that choice. I've made that
choice many, many times. Thenervous system says Get me out
of here. And yet, when thatdoesn't work, and things get
worse Sometimes the only way outis through. And I think

(15:04):
sometimes the way through couldbe surrender. And I love the way
Gloria talks about surrendering.
I think she could speak to thatmore if she wanted to.

Gloria Gonzalez (15:16):
Yeah, so my panic really taught me a lot. My
panic attacks really taught me alot. And for so for me,
surrendering is very difficult.
I'm a fighter by nature. And sosurrender feels like giving up
it feels like losing. It feelslike the opposite of what I want
to do, especially with you know,anxiety and panic and facing

(15:38):
death. You're not supposed tosurrender to that. You're
supposed to fight it, you'resupposed to overcome it. And so
I resisted this idea ofsurrendering with everything I
had. But I was literallyexhausted. I had I like you
said, Lauren. I couldn't runfrom it anymore. The only way

(15:58):
was through and so I actuallycame across an interview with
Oprah and in her name is goingescapes me right now. Lauren,
you're better remembering toremember her name. Nun, excuse
me, the Buddhist nun.

Lauren (16:14):
Pema children.

Gloria Gonzalez (16:17):
I want to give her credit gap Pema children,

Lauren (16:19):
I don't think I say her name correctly,

Amy (16:21):
but I think you do.

Gloria Gonzalez (16:23):
But close. If not, I'm saying it incorrectly
as well. But Oprah had aninterview with Pema children.
And she talked about, you know,facing those uncomfortable
feelings. And she said, Try torelax your body around the
uncomfortable feeling. And Iremember thinking What an

(16:45):
interesting concept. And I wasactually sitting outside the
vet's waiting, my cat was insidegetting a checkup. And I'm
listening to this video in thecar. And so I just tried, I
tried relaxing my shoulders, Itried relaxing my jaw, while
still holding on to thatfeeling, and of anxiety because

(17:06):
it wasn't going anywhere. And itworked. It loosening my body
helped to loosen my mind. And itwas a really powerful example
for me the connection betweenthe mind and body. I don't think
I've ever felt it so clearlybefore. And I thought, Oh, my
goodness, that's like the first,like break the first piece I've

(17:28):
had in months. And so I thought,well, let me try this again. And
I tried it again. And it worked.
And I thought, oh, oh, I'm on tosomething. So. So that was like
the first step to surrenderingwas just learning to like, relax
my body around the uncomfortablefeeling. But it wasn't quite
enough. At first I thought itwas I thought this is it. I

(17:50):
found it. And then I realizedno, there's a little bit more
there. My, my heart was stillclosed off to the anxiety to the
fear of death, I was stillresisting it. My body had
relaxed, which allowed my mindto relax, but my heart, my soul,
you know, was still like, No, Idon't want this. And so learning

(18:12):
to open my hearts, to theanxiety, to become friends with
it. To say, you're here for areason. You're here, I know
you're here because you care.
You love me, you just want toprotect me, I know that. But I'm
safe. I'm safe, and you'retired. Why don't you rest now

(18:35):
let's get some. And that really,that really was like, for me
it's a combination. Surrenderingis first relaxing the mind and
body and then opening the heart.
That's a hard step to take.

Amy Cooper (18:51):
So beautiful. And it takes me we I've been on a
journey also to even becomeacquainted with my feelings, and
learn. So we did a whole seriesof episodes called feeling our
way to wholeness. And one ofthem was anxiety. And we had one
on anger. And we had some on thequote unquote, positive feelings

(19:14):
as well. And I realized, as wedid that, that feelings were
this thought in my head, but Ihadn't even really connected
with the sensation in the body.
And it is such an amazing accessthat I think many of us who get
pulled out of our experience offeelings. Forget that we even

(19:35):
have so it's such a beautifulawareness that you're even
pointing to that. I don't knowabout our listeners, but I can
say for myself rewind the clockeven a year I didn't have.

Gloria Gonzalez (19:50):
Yeah, and that was my experience as well.
Actually, I'm I'm a thinker. Youknow, I don't know if you're
familiar with the Myers Briggsbut I love I'm learning about
people's personality types. And,and I'm a I'm a thinker type.
I'm an intp. And so for me,yeah, I was extremely
disconnected from my body frommy feelings. I was in my mind

(20:13):
all the time. So I'm an I'm anNT, right intuitive thinker. So
that means like, I'm always inmy head, my body is kind of was
kind of useless to me. And solearning to connect to the body
was one of the first steps thatI took on my meditation journey.
Like one of the first thingsthat really kind of helped to

(20:35):
turn it into a like, morecomfortable, positive, you know,
inviting experience. Yeah. AndLauren and I shared in this
experience as well. We werereading Eckhart Tolle Lee's
book, a new earth girl talksabout Yes, simple meditation.

Amy (20:54):
I am rereading it right now. So we talked about this
book, every episode lately?
Yeah.

Gloria Gonzalez (21:00):
Yeah, yeah. So I have read that book it
probably at least three or fourtimes. And one of the things he
talks about is that simpleexercise of just feeling the
energy in your hands. And Iprobably like, I'd read it, I,
when I'm reading a book, I getreally caught up in the ideas

(21:21):
and what I'm reading, and I justwant to keep reading. Anytime
there's like an exercise you'resupposed to like, stop and try
or do or a little worksheet tofill out. I'm like, Yeah, I'll
do that later. Keep go, Hmm, Ijust want to get to the ends,
right. And so I don't think Ihad ever actually tried it. And
then Lauren said she had givenit a try. And it was really
powerful for her. And I thought,Oh, maybe I should actually try

(21:42):
that. Sometime. I've read thebook, like four times, maybe I
should try what he suggests. AndI think even Martha Beck book
that that we had read or that Ihad read, suggested she did
something similar, but she saidshe would start with people like
us who don't are not connectedto their body, she would start
with them, just Can you feelyour big toe? Can you feel it?

(22:04):
And I was like, that's aninteresting concept. But of
course, I didn't stop to try it.
But, um, so I gave this handmeditation and try and felt the
energy in my hands. And that wasjust so it, I can't even tell
you what that did for me. It. Ifelt it. I felt it, I felt the
energy in my hands. And Ithought, what is that? Where

(22:27):
does that come from? And then itmade me think about all the
energy, right, that flowsthrough us like this electricity
and our brains and, and ourbodies. And I thought, this
energy that's inside of me, thisis the same energy that like,
causes that plant to grow. Andit's, it's in the energy of that

(22:47):
blade of grass, and in the wind.
And I thought, Oh, my goodness,this I'm, I could feel suddenly
I could feel connected tomyself, to my own essence. But
now I was also feeling connectedto everything else and everyone
else through this one simpleexercise. And, yeah, it was

(23:11):
really powerful for me. Have youtried it?

Amy (23:15):
I have to pile on because I read that section of the book.
It's rather early on in thebook. And I had the exact same
impulse you did where I was, Iwas even sitting in bed, like
the perfect. My kids were inbed. My husband was working like
he does. And, and I was like,Oh, I'm just gonna keep reading.
And I stopped myself. And I waslike, why don't you just try it,

(23:40):
which I don't think the previoustime I had read it, I had
actually tried it. And I did tryit. And I just love his
invitation to feel the alivenessinside of us. And, yeah, I mean,
it's so simple, and yet sopowerful. And I think that's
also how you like to talk aboutmeditation, or what I'm

(24:05):
gathering from your approach tomeditation is part of what
you're, what you're guided tohelp people realize and see is
that there's a lot moresimplicity here than what we
sometimes give ourselvespermission to, to sort of
embrace. And so your website issit, observe surrender.com which

(24:30):
even just that title, I waslike, Oh, I was subtle. I have
to do. Like, if that's, I have,I have a tendency to be and Lord
and I will have to do a futureepisode on the Enneagram We've
recently been taking a course onthe anagram Enneagram. For those
of you who may not know it's awell, how would we describe the
Enneagram there's nine sort ofpersonality types, that people

(24:54):
can that people generally takeon in response to the way that
we're raised and I'm I'm notgonna go through all nine. But
I'll tell you that I am typethree, which is the sort of
performer achiever type. And sofor me, I think part of what
gets in the way of me actuallymeditating is having this
outcome orientation or thinkingwhat success looks like is to

(25:16):
clear my brain of any thoughtwhatsoever and feeling like I'm
failing at it. And so when Ieven encountered your invitation
to sit, observe surrender, Ifelt like, oh, well, I could do
that. Like even I could do thatsuccessfully. Successfully.
Right? You see how I'm alwayslike, trying to do it, right,

(25:38):
which I am fully aware of inthis moment is like ironic, and
also is still where I am in myjourney. I'm just being aware of
it somehow diffuses it. But I'mjust would love to invite you to
talk about how you seemeditation and this sort of
three part invitation thatyou've created to meditation.

Gloria Gonzalez (26:02):
Yeah, so thank you for sharing your experience
with it. Because that was, Ithink that's most people's
experience with meditation. Inthe beginning, it was definitely
mine. I thought there was aright way and a wrong way to do
meditation. I thought the ideawas to control or silence my
thoughts, control my breath. AndI thought I was doing it wrong.
And I was failing, because mymind would not stop. And so

(26:29):
there's just so many ideasaround meditation here in Texas,
where I'm at, there's like, it'slike the Bible Belt, you know,
big mega churches. There's a lotof like, fear around meditation,
they think it's like a religiousthing. And so yeah, I just
really want I really want tojust simplify the idea of

(26:49):
meditation, and make it youknow, a little bit of a Salesman
pitch, like, I want to make itsimple and easy. And just three
steps. Because I do want peopleto give it a try. And so yeah,
for me, the there's I've triedall the, there's a million
different ways to meditate,right? You can do walking

(27:09):
meditations, eating meditations,I've told Lauren, washing the
dishes is a meditation. For metaking a shower is a meditation.
It's really just beingconscious, being aware. And
bringing that that attention towhat we're doing. But for me,
the the simplest, like kind ofeasiest way that I found to

(27:33):
meditate, the most efficientright way is to just sit, you
know, and when I sit, I like totake a deep breath in, and then
a long exhale out. And I used toget caught up in the breathing,
counting my breath controllingmy breath. But I found that that
gets in the way actually, of, ofmy meditation. It becomes like

(27:57):
my obsession. Am I doing itright? Oh, wait, no, that lost
my count. Let me try that again.
And if I just feel my breath,just feel it. And I just, I
don't worry about counting, butI just try to extend that exhale
for as long as I can. Becausethat's where we get the good
relaxation response. So I justsit and I just breathe, and I

(28:17):
just try to relax and enjoysitting for a minute. And then I
try to pull back and justobserve what's going on inside
my body. Like, do I havetightness here soreness there?
is am I having any resistance tositting? Do I have any obsessive
thoughts that keep coming up?

(28:38):
You know, that conversation withthe co worker, you know, and
what she said, and she wasjudging me and I should have
sent this back to her and and Ijust noticed,

Amy (28:47):
that never happens to anyone. I'm totally getting
obviously, that's yes, replayingconversations and judging them,
myself and others is a favoritepastime that I used to have. And
that I still sometimes have.
Yes,

Gloria Gonzalez (29:03):
yes. Yeah. My mind loves that. Yeah. So yeah,
so just observing it and andtrying not to judge it right?
Observing without judgment,without criticism, without any
desire to control it, or stopit. Like, if I find myself
judging, I don't judge the factthat I'm judging, right? I allow
it. Oh, there I go. Judgingagain, just mark it down. And

(29:27):
then usually, whatever it is,I'm feeling right. It's you.
It's not usually a positivefeeling. It's usually, you know,
an uncomfortable feeling in mybody or a thought that I really
would like to let go of. And sothat's when the surrendering
comes in. That's when I am ableto start relaxing my body around

(29:48):
it recognizing it's here for areason. And, and becoming
friends with it and allowing itaccepting it surrendering. And
so it's that whole process and Ijust it doesn't have to take
long. You can do that in threeminutes or less depends on how
efficient you are how aware youare. Or it can take longer it

(30:10):
can it can be as long as youlike, as short as you like.
Another famous Eckhart Tolle aquote that I love is one
conscious breath is ameditation. And so another thing
you know, that I, that I offeris that if you just sit, just
sit for one breath, and do thatfor 30 days, and then if you

(30:34):
feel like it, Try extending itto two breaths, and that alone
can be a meditation practice.
And eventually, it might startto develop into something, you
know, more substantial. But ifit starts out that simple,
that's enough, one consciousbreath is enough. And, you know,
I think there was, there was apoint I was gonna make there,

(30:55):
and my mind is already lost.
I've got so many things that Iwanted to share.

Amy (31:01):
I could share a little story why you remember why you
remember that? So in preparationfor this conversation yesterday,
I was like, Okay, well, we'retalking about meditation
tomorrow. I should meditate,right? This should, but I did
feel kind of like I then Itapped whenever I hear myself

(31:22):
say those things. I'm like,well, but do I want to? Or do I
feel like I have to? Let's makethat distinction. Okay, I
actually want to, and I thought,well, but do I have time? I'm
like looking like when do I haveto pick up my son from
preschool. And I had it, Irealized that I had it in my
head, that I needed to go sit inthis particular chair in my
office where I do meditate whenI do meditate. And instead, I

(31:46):
was sitting in my reading chairin my bedroom. And I was like,
Oh, well, that's a silly rule. Ibet this idea of sit observe
Surrender means I could do itanywhere. And so then I just
like probably achieved what youwere saying of like three
minutes, I probably meditatedfor like three minutes before
my, I didn't silence my phonebefore a text came in. And I was
like, oh, distraction, let's dothat instead. But I did manage

(32:09):
to at least have some consciousbreaths, and give myself
permission that it didn't haveto look this exact certain way
that I was wanting to make itlook where it's like, oh, I have
to have this place where I doit. And it has to be, I don't
know, sitting a certain way andhas to be at least 15 minutes,
and I got to put on this YouTubevideo that has the chimes. And

(32:30):
it doesn't actually have to beall of that does it? And so I'm
just curious if you could? Well,for sure, pick back up on what
you wanted to say. But I'm justalso wanting to look through the
window into your practice oflike, well, where do you do it?
And how do you do it? And whendo you do it? And how often do
you do it just like toexperience your experience of
meditation?

Gloria Gonzalez (32:51):
Yeah, so I'm actually just going to pick up
right where you were, instead oftrying to remember my thought.
But so I was thinking that itreally is for me, it's like
brushing my teeth. In themorning, we wake up, we brush
our teeth in the morning, wedon't think about it, we don't
go, Oh, I I gotta squeeze intooth brushing before I go pick
up my son from we write, we justdo it. And so for me, I wake up

(33:17):
in the morning, I brush myteeth, I use the restroom, I
come sit down to meditate. Andit's just become a habit. And
it's I do it here you can seethis is I have a little mat on
the floor back here. And it's mylittle meditation room slash
office. And I have a littlealtar set up with incense and a

(33:38):
little lamp and candles andfavorite books and things like
that things i i brought backfrom India when I spent some
time in India. And it's it'sbecome like my little, little
haven. I've told Lauren a fewtimes where I've been really
stressed and overwhelmed bylife. I wish I could just go in

(33:58):
a dark cave, and like meditateand just hide away from the
world. And then one day Irealized, you know, I've
divorced my boys. I have 5050custody with my ex husband. And
so he has the boys someweekends. And I realized my
house is my cave. It is my cave,I can make this my sanctuary. I
can hide here and meditate andbe alone with myself. I don't

(34:22):
need to go out to the mountainsand find a dark, empty cave. And
so I've created that space herein my office. When I was married
and living in Indianapolis. Weweren't there for very long. So
we were in an apartment. And Ididn't have a lot of space.
There were you know, the four ofus in a two bedroom apartment.

(34:43):
And I actually used the bedsidetable and just that little piece
of carpet, you know, between mybed and the wall and that and
that bedside table as mymeditation space because it was
the best I could do. This feelsa little bit more luxurious
having like a whole room tomyself. But, but it really, and

(35:03):
it doesn't have to be like youdiscovered it doesn't, you don't
have to have a dedicated spacefor it. It really can be
anywhere at any time in your cardriving, washing the dishes in
the shower. But for me, I likethe ritual, in the comfort of
having a dedicated space, itmakes it a little bit easier for

(35:24):
me to, to come in and meditate,especially on days when I am
short on time, like I hit thesnooze button once many times,
and I'm to get ready for work.
And there have been a coupletimes where I go, Oh, I don't
have time. But most days I goyes, you do. GLORIA Yeah, you
do. It just takes one oneconscious breath. And so I think

(35:45):
if we can, if we can think ofmeditation, about like, as our
Mental Hygiene the way we doabout our dental hygiene,
brushing our teeth every day isjust automatic. And we just
we've just accepted it. Becausewe've been taught from when we
were young, we understand allthe benefits to brushing our

(36:06):
teeth, there's no question. Andwe just know, this is what you
do. You wake up, you brush yourteeth, before you go to bed, you
brush your teeth. There's no,there's no thought process,
there's no planning for it. It'sjust automatic. And I would like
meditation to be that way aswell. Like I would like society

(36:26):
as a whole to accept meditationis just part of our daily tooth
brushing routine. And I think itcan be that simple to honestly,
my meditations in the morningare not very long. I usually
come in and I, I do a little bitof stretching first because my

(36:47):
body is stiff and tight andsore. And if I go straight into
a sitting position, My backfeels really tight and
uncomfortable. It's verydistracting. So I do a few
stretches.
And then I do some core, like abwork, because I have a weak
core. And so I think it helps meto sit better if I'm if I've

(37:09):
done a little bit of app work.
And then I sit and I sit,observe surrender, it lasts
maybe five minutes. And then Ido a little more stretching. And
then I go about my day, maybe1520 minutes tops, if I'm
feeling particularly heavy thatmorning, because sometimes I
wake up with energy for mydreams that I've been processing

(37:32):
and it feels really heavy in themornings. Everything will take a
little bit longer. I'll go alittle bit slower through that
process. But but it's really,I've managed to get it down to
15 minutes, the whole processstretching, core core app work
and meditation. And like maybefive minutes for each thing.

(37:55):
That's what my mornings looklike usually.

Lauren (38:01):
And could you speak specifically to what those
benefits are to you? Because Itotally agree with you. I think
we've all been taught thebenefits of brushing our teeth,
is we don't get cavities. Wehave teeth, we can chew food,
and we're all kind of like Iwant teeth and I want to be able
to chew foods. So I will brushmy teeth. What do we what do you

(38:25):
get out of maintaining thispractice? What are the benefits
to you?

Gloria Gonzalez (38:32):
Yeah, it's that sense of aliveness and
connectedness. I think for me,there's a few places where I can
get that feeling as well as notjust meditation. I think nature
is really powerful. For me, it'sa powerful space for me to be in
where I can feel that alivenessand that connectedness, but what

(38:55):
the thing I love most aboutmeditation, is that I'm not
dependent upon anything else. Toachieve that feeling. It's just
me. It's just me. It's me and myown connection, my own energy,
my own sense of aliveness. If,if I start to feel like oh,

(39:17):
well, I really only get thatsense of aliveness when I'm at
church, then I'm dependent uponthe church. If I only feel that
when I'm out in nature, then I'mdependent on being out in nature
to get that feeling. But if Ican learn to cultivate that
feeling through meditation, it'smine to access whenever I want.

(39:38):
And so that's for me the beautyof it is you know, I am I've
learned a lot about codependencyI am I definitely have some
codependent tendencies. And soone of the beautiful things for
me about meditation is that ittakes that dependency on
anything or anyone else. And itthe power lies with me and For

(40:00):
me, I get that sense ofconnection, that simply feeling
that energy inside of me andremembering that this is the
same energy that animates mycats and all life, and that,
that it's wise. And that if Ilistened to it, it won't lead me

(40:21):
in the wrong direction. And soit just makes the rest of my day
kind of flow better. When I takea moment each morning to
remember that, because weforget, we forget, we are very
forgetful creatures. And Iforget often, and the meditation
helps me remember.

Lauren (40:44):
I love that so much. And I want to share that kind of the
way that's landing for me. Andsome of the things I'm thinking
about as we're talking aboutmeditation, that I want to
highlight. One, I do think thereare a lot of people that have
hesitancy around meditation,even the word, the word

(41:06):
meditation kind of sounds fancyand special. And like, what is
that, you know, and what I haveexperienced with my own
meditation practice, and it isappropriate to call it that. And
it also could be described. Inother words, that might increase

(41:30):
access for anyone, everyone. Forme, it's all about caring for
and maintaining my connectionwith myself, my relationship
with myself. And so one of thebenefits I experienced that I
think may be included in whatyou were describing Gloria, when

(41:54):
I take the time to meditate, orI could just describe it as
checking in with myself, that'sone of the ways I experienced
it. It's like a check in withmyself, that I make time for.
And when I'm checking in withmyself, I feel connected to
myself, I'm more likely to be inalignment in my life, and

(42:18):
maintain a level ofconsciousness. And that's
another word that I think hassimilar maybe connotations to
meditation, meditationconsciousness. It really comes
down to my connection withmyself and my awareness. And so
meditation for me is a way tomaintain my connection to

(42:38):
myself, my consciousness, sothat I can be in choice and be
in alignment. And when I letthat go, I'm more likely to
start functioning on autopilot,unconscious, rushing stressed,
it escalates for me, and thenall of a sudden, something

(42:59):
happens. And I realize I wasasleep again. And I'm like, Oh,
how long have I been out? Oh,gosh. I wonder if you would add
anything to that Gloria or say,what what do you think of that?

Gloria Gonzalez (43:16):
Yeah, no, I would agree. I would agree 100%,
with what you say. So I yeah, Ifeel like for me, meditation is
like practice. It's the practicefor real life. So whatever, you
know, this process of sitting,observing and surrendering, I
can take that out into the realworld and to work. I'm a
kindergarten teacher. So I'vegot a lot of a lot of things

(43:41):
pulling at me at my time at myattention and my energy, and
being able to like, in theschool setting, I'm not going to
be able to sit, take a momentand breathe, observe. So like,
I'm not gonna be able to takethree whole minutes to do that.
But, but if I practice thatevery morning, it becomes a
little bit more automatic, and alittle bit easier. I notice it.

(44:04):
Like you were saying you yourealize I've been asleep. How
long have I been asleep? I feellike it allows me to like notice
that a little bit faster whenI've like, Oh, I'm asleep again.
Or I'm reacting to this again,or Yeah, I'm getting agitated. I
noticed that a little bit soonernow than I used to.

Amy (44:24):
So beautiful. I have felt for a long time. Like i i see
meditation as this virtuouscycle, where once people
experience what you're talkingabout, they want more of it. And
that happened to me years agowith exercise where I was
exercising not at all and notfor physical reasons, but for

(44:47):
mental health reasons. I hadmoved to Chicago and the weather
there is everything you've heardit is and maybe even worse if
you're a Florida girl like me,who then moved to Colorado and
then moved to Chicago. And so Istarted exercising. And I will
tell you like, it was probablymonths before I felt the

(45:09):
virtuous cycle in terms ofexercise of like, oh, wow, like,
really, I have to do this likethis. And now to this day, 12
years later, I exercise aminimum of three times a week,
right now its minimum andmaximum of three times a week,
I'll be totally honest. Over thesummer, it was a little more
when it's nice outside, you cango for a jog and enjoy the
beautiful weather. And I have todo it, because I know how I feel

(45:34):
when I don't. And I just do youever go without it? And then
realize, oh, my gosh, I missmeditation, like, get me back on
the mat.

Gloria Gonzalez (45:45):
Yes. That is a simple answer. Yes. Yeah. And
I've had a similar experiencewith, with exercising as well,
like running, I did, I startedrunning for mental health
reasons. And I had that exactsame experience. And I am able
to actually go without, for along time, like I stopped

(46:05):
running, for when I startedhaving those panic attacks. The
first panic attack I had was outon one of my favorite trails,
running trails, and it scared meand I stopped running for a long
time. While I was going throughmy panic attacks, I stopped
meditating, I couldn't sit onthe mat, it was too triggering,
it was too I couldn't sit withmyself, my anxiety was too

(46:28):
intense. And, and so I don'tthink there's, I want to say,
when you're trying somethingnew, whether it's exercise, or
meditation, or anything, thatdon't push don't force, I don't
want people to, to feel like whyI have this is good for me. So I
have to do it. And I have to doit this many times a week. And,

(46:52):
you know, I really feel likebeing gentle with ourselves and
trusting ourselves. To knowlike, when I, when I was going
through, I had just finished mymeditation course I just been
certified. And I stoppedmeditating completely. There was
a part of me that judged myself,you know, like, you were so into

(47:13):
this like a week ago, and nowyou won't sit down and do it.
But I trusted my body. When Isat down on that mat and the
panic started to rise. I said,You know what? This isn't, this
isn't a healing place for meright now. And I chose to
abandon the mat for months. AndI didn't come back until it felt

(47:35):
right. And so I think, I thinkwith anything, whether it's
exercise, or meditation, ortherapy, or anything that we're
doing for our mental health,that's good for us, right? I
think we need to ultimately weneed to trust ourselves. And to
not not try to force or be likesomeone else, or do it like

(47:57):
someone else. Like that's reallyfor me. I feel like that's what
medicine this meditation processhas taught me is that I'm the
expert on me. I'm the one whodesigns my meditation practice,
I don't need to pull up aYouTube video with a guided
meditation. Because if I'mlistening, if I'm tuning into
myself, and I'm and I'm playingwith that, there's a little bit

(48:20):
of play involved as well, likeexperimentation, and I'm just
trying, like, you know what,that doesn't feel good. Let me
try this. Oh, that feels better.
I'm gonna do that, again. Likejust playing with it. You know,
one of the things and I haven'tshared this on my website yet,
but one of the most powerfulmeditations for me was one that
I made up on my own. It was ait's a chakra meditation. And

(48:43):
years ago, I would have beenlike chakras. What? You know, I
don't think there's any truth tothat. What is that, like energy
centers in the body. But, but Ihad a few experiences where I
felt very connected to thosepoints. And so I got a poster,

(49:04):
you can see it right over there.
To help me like learn a littlebit more about them. I'm a
visual person, so I needed it inmy face, like all the time, and
I started just trying some ofthe things they suggested and
paying attention to the mantrasthey recommended. And one day I
was sitting on the mat, and Ijust thought, you know, I'm

(49:25):
going to try. I'm going to trylike tuning into my chakras and,
and just breathing. I'm justgonna breathe through my
chakras. And I did that and Iwas like, Oh, that felt really
good. I like that. So the nexttime I came in, I sat and I
breezed through my chakras, butI noticed my mind was kind of

(49:46):
starting to wander. And I said,Oh, man, I really wish there was
a way I could get my mind tostay focused. And I said, Well,
maybe I'll add a visualizationin there. So as I was breathing
through my root chakra, Istarted imagining routes.
sprouting from my legs and mybottom and like, digging into
the earth and anchoring me in.
And I and I did that with eachchakra, I started visualizing

(50:08):
those areas like coming alive.
And you know,what's the word I want to use?
Like, yeah, I guess coming aliveeach of those chakras just
coming alive. And then I didthat a few times, breezed
through my chakras had thevisualization. That worked for a
little while, then my mindstarted wandering again, it

(50:29):
wasn't as powerful for me. So Isaid, Well, what else can I do
to get my mind focus, because itreally, it was such a good
feeling, I wanted it to comeback. And so I added in a mantra
for each of those. So as Ibreathe through my root chakra,
and I'm imagining these rootsdigging into the earth and
anchoring me, I say to myself,I'm rooted, I am grounded, I'm

(50:51):
safe. And I've and I come upwith a, you know, like an
affirmation or a mantra for eachchakra. So I have a
visualization, which, you know,helps kind of anchor me to my
body. And, and I'm breathingthrough each one. And I'm
visualizing, and I'm, and I'mhad this mantra going, and it
just, it's like, involving allof me, so there's less of me to

(51:15):
get distracted. And that hasbeen the most powerful
meditation for me. And I do thatalmost on a daily basis. But I
just made it up. Nobody guidedme through that no one told me,
this is what you need to do. Iprobably if someone had told me
to do it, I probably would havebeen like, I don't know, I was

(51:36):
all right. Or I would havewanted to change or tweak
something like somethingwouldn't have felt quite right.
But because I designed itmyself, based solely on how I
was feeling and reacting to it.
It's the perfect meditation forme. And so really, you know, I

(51:56):
try to simplify, sit, observesurrender, because I want people
to have your reaction, oh,that's simple, I can do that.
But ideally, where I want toleave people is, it's yours to
create your meditation practiceis yours to create, you design
it, listen, tune in, and playaround and see what feels good

(52:18):
to you. Because if it feelsgood, you're going to come back
to it. And if it's somebodyelse's, it's just not gonna feel
quite right. It's like, if youwere running in someone else's
running shoes, right there,they're not going to feel quite
right, even if they're the samebrand as yours, because they've
kind of worn them in in adifferent way. And it's the same
way I think, with meditation iswe make it your own.

Amy (52:43):
Yeah, I love everything you just said. And it's confession
time again, because I actuallylove doing what you're talking
about. And I've similarlydesigned my own. And I love to
just like activate my heartchakra. Before I do interviews
sometimes or when I'm doing kindof some healing energy with my

(53:05):
daughter. I didn't give myselfpermission to see that as
meditation, partly because Ihave this idea of like, oh,
active thoughts aren't emptythoughts, and so doesn't count.
Also, it felt to fun and alive.
It's like doesn't countmeditations supposed to be hard
is supposed to be empty. And Ihad all of these supposed to

(53:26):
use. And so I almost resistdoing the style of meditation
that you're talking about,because I think of it as like,
but that's just play that justfeels so fun and freeing and
good and connected, my mind cango and like create this
visualization. And I feel soconnected. And another one that
I do that feels really connectedand alive is invite in my spirit
guides and see what they tellme. Because stuff if you get

(53:49):
sort of quiet and listen andtrust, at least my experience is
that I get all of these visualmetaphors and people and we
haven't talked about this on thepodcast, Lauren doesn't even
know this, but people show up.
And but none of that what I havereally given myself permission

(54:09):
to say like, but that is thepractice of meditation. So I
just I feel like there's thispowerful permission that you're
giving that I needed.

Gloria Gonzalez (54:19):
Good. I'm so glad to hear that. Yeah, I feel
like so, because what we'velearned about meditation, we
usually see like, you know, aBuddhist monk, bald head, robes,
meditating and silence. Youknow, it's very stoic and
controlled and masculine. Youknow, it's like this masculine
energy, but I feel like we don'tget it. Most of the, you know,

(54:46):
people who speak aboutmeditation are men. They're even
in the western culture. Like Ifeel like it's usually like
medically trained doctors whohave discovered this and now
they're going to bring in the,the, you know, Western medicine
research. and their practiceand, but it's always men. And
it's always very, like you said,like kind of controlled and

(55:06):
empty and, you know, quiet andstill. And I feel like the
feminine energy is a little bitmore like fluid and flexible and
creative and active. And so Iwould say I even allow myself.
So at the end of my meditation,right, I start right in with the

(55:28):
Crown Chakra. And for that one,I, my mantra is, I'm open to
divine energy, wisdom and love.
And when I started my, thatmeditation, I was still and
quiet, because like you, we allhave these ideas that we're
supposed to be still in quiet.
But I paid attention to my body.
And when I get to that point,when I feel really like, open

(55:52):
and and connected to that divineenergy, wisdom in love, I feel
this desire to just like sway mybody like this back and forth.
And so I do that every time. Andit's like, it's like, what I
visualize is the, like universe,energy, spirit guides, whatever
you want to call it, justfunneling through the top of my

(56:15):
head, and then I'm just kind oflike moving it down, like in a
very sensual way, almost, likejust moving it down inside my
body, and like really getting itlike in there. And that's part
of my meditation movements ispart of my meditation. And I
think that yeah, I feel likethat's the biggest thing that I

(56:35):
want to demystify aboutmeditation is that there is no
right or wrong way to do it.
That it really there. I thinkthere is a benefit to sitting
and having like a practice, youknow, a space where you sit, and
you're quiet and you connect, Ithink there is a benefit to
that. But it doesn't have to bethe way that we've been shown.

(57:01):
Like, it's it's so much more.
There's just so much morepossibility there. And I think
giving ourselves permission totrust that like when you said,
Well, this just feels like plainand makes me feel alive. That's
your permission. That's that isthe goal. Yeah, that is the
goal. And and I think thatthat's not what we've been told.

(57:21):
We've been told the goal isquiet. Stillness. Silence. Yeah.
And that's death. That's death.
Life is energetic, and it'sconnecting, and it's, you know,
inspiring and it's alive. Yeah,that's, I think what we should

(57:41):
be I shouldn't I don't like tosay should. I don't think
there's any harm in creating ameditation practice that
inspires that those kinds ofemotions as opposed to
stillness, yeah, quiet, andpeace.

Amy (58:00):
I could hear Lauren choosing the word. That's what's
available. Yeah, there we go.
Shoo.

Lauren (58:07):
I know so much. I want to say right now, because I love
this conversation. I love whatthe three of us are embodying in
our lives, I feel like we arehelping to usher in a new
paradigm, a new way of being onthe earth. And I think there's

(58:28):
so much value in catchingourselves. When you know, I
heard you, Gloria catchyourself. I think it should be
like this. Well, wait, actually,I think that it's powerful and
wonderful. There's no harm indoing it this way. And we are
also trying to be careful thatwere not doing that were not

(58:53):
embodying the old paradigm. SoI'm going to give a couple of
examples. One consciousparenting, Amy and I are both
conscious parenting coaches.
Unconscious parenting is the oldparadigm that says, I was a kid
once. Now I'm a grown up. NowI'm going to tell you child, how
to be a kid and what kind ofgrown up to become and you do
what I say. And then you will dowell, and that's disconnected

(59:18):
from the truth that we are allindividual, unique, glorious,
sovereign beings, with our owntruth, to embody our own
preferences. That's the old waythat's unconscious. So that's
the old, unconscious way ofparenting. The old unconscious
way of teaching meditation is Imeditate like this. It works for

(59:41):
me do it exactly as I say, andit will work for you. And then
all these people were like, butthat doesn't work for me. But
that doesn't work for me. Why isthis not working for me? Is
something wrong with me? Am Idoing it wrong? And sometimes
the response was Do it harder myway And then people were
literally having like mentalbreakdowns over the fact that

(01:00:03):
this is what they're being told,and it doesn't match their
experience. And so I love theway you GLORIA teach. Because I
experienced the way you teach,as saying, This is what has
worked for me. I am sharing itwith you to give you an example,

(01:00:24):
to give you permission to giveyou a map to follow if you're in
a place in your journey wherethat is helpful to you. But my
ultimate goal is to empower youto create your own map when
you're ready. And I think that'sI think it's worth naming.
Because when I was hearing youspeak, Gloria, I resonated so

(01:00:44):
deeply with your preference toDIY this stuff, because that's
what I like to do for myself,too, because that's what works
best for me now. And I've hadpeople approach me and basically
say, I'm not ready to DIY thisyet. Where should that where can
I start? And there is there isvalue and beauty in following

(01:01:08):
someone else down a path thatintrigues you, that appeals to
you, oh, I want to see whereyou're going. Let me follow you
for a while. As long as we know,the end goal isn't to become
that other person and make thatour path. It's to, like, follow
until we feel that pull todiverge. And then we go Oh,

(01:01:32):
thank you for this was beautifuland wonderful. And now I'm going
over here. Wow, good luck. Andthat and that empowerment piece
is so important. But stillness,silence for some people, that's
what they want. That's what theyneed, movement, fluidity,
freedom we want and need. And sojust access to all Amy you, you

(01:01:57):
nailed it access to everything.
And in honoring of where we arein our journeys with conscious
awareness of where we're headed,and for me where we're headed,
is autonomy, sovereignty,empowerment for everyone.

Gloria Gonzalez (01:02:20):
Beautifully said, beautiful, as usual.
Lauren has such a wonderful.
Yes, yes, definitely. That issomething that, that I feel DIY,
I was actually thinking aboutthat when I was thinking about
your questions, I thought it'slike a DIY approach. And part of
that is because you know, as asingle mom, one small teacher

(01:02:44):
income, I have to DIY a lot ofthings. And and I found you know
what, I kind of like it betterwhen I do it myself anyway, it
just fits better, it feelsbetter. And, and that applies
with meditation as well, we canDIY that as well.

Amy (01:03:02):
I love that I am a person who learns to cook by first
following the recipe. Second,following the recipe with
modifications, and then fromthere, I start to branch out,
you know, so I also reallyresonate Lauren, with what you
were saying of like, Sure, youcan DIY and also, I'll say speak
about myself specifically, theonly reason I can do my chakra

(01:03:26):
visualization is because I had ateacher who led us that way. And
then I started to take it on asmy own. So I love Lauren, that
you're pointing to the sort ofunfolding of this and the phases
that we might go through. AndI'm curious, Gloria, for people
who do like to have more of astarting point, and I'm

(01:03:48):
particularly thinking, Did youwhat my question is, what
resources might people might beable to tap into, through you
and your website, andspecifically also this this
chakra approach that you havesomething that you might be
sharing out with the world aswell? Yeah, I

Gloria Gonzalez (01:04:08):
think so. On my website kind of leads you to my
I have an Instagram account anda YouTube account. And I share a
little videos, mostly I'mtalking about meditation than
actually guiding. Because forme, I would I prefer to like,
give the framework and thenallow the person to try it. But

(01:04:31):
I do have a couple examples onthere. And my goal is to put the
chakra meditation out for peopleto follow if they choose. But
YouTube has so many videos,guided meditation videos already
out there, the world is just,you know, full of them. So
there's plenty of resources outthere. In addition to whatever I

(01:04:52):
might put out of things thatpeople can follow different
meditations they can follow andpractice and try on when I was
in South Bend, there was alittle community where we met
and we would meditate together.
And we would try different kindsof meditations each week. And it
was really nice. It was a groupof older people, I was the

(01:05:13):
youngest one there. And they'dall been meditating for years.
And they all had a differentapproach that they liked. And so
I've tried lots of differentapproaches. And when I was in
Indianapolis, I belong to aUnitarian Universalist Church
there. And I actually led ameditation group at the church,
and every week, we would try ona different type of meditation.

(01:05:37):
So we would do a loving kindnessmeditation one week, and then
like a Zen, Buddhist,meditation, the next and we did
a walking meditation out intheir little garden at one
point. And so that's the goalback then even was just to like,
you have so many choices. Likeit's like a buffet of meditation
options, like which one feelsright to you, which one

(01:06:00):
resonates? Which one? Do youkind of just like cling to like
that's, like, follow thatfollow? Yeah.

Amy Cooper (01:06:11):
So there's almost an invitation to experiment, which
really resonates with me,because even though for some
reason, it's funny, I got thisclarity in this conversation.
It's funny how we do the samething in different ways. And I
can see how I've talked about somany times on this podcast, that
I really love play. And thiswhole podcast is about play.

(01:06:33):
Because my wiring tells me workthat this is your worth. This is
that we work hard. That's whatwe must do. This is how we're
worthy. And so somehow I had putmeditation over in that bucket.
And anything that felt likeplay, I was like, no, no, has to
be it has to be worth it has tobe hard. It should like and I
was going away from the thingsthat were more play like and

(01:06:55):
Well, anyways, I just I forgetwhere I was going with that
comment or that I feel like Ihad a question for you. But I
lost my I lost my train ofthought.

Lauren (01:07:04):
I love that awakening, though, Amy.

Gloria Gonzalez (01:07:07):
Yeah. And I think experimentation for me is
play experimentation. Yes.

Amy (01:07:12):
Thank you. Experimentation is a part of play. That's what I
wanted to say. Gloria, thankyou.

Gloria Gonzalez (01:07:18):
Well, as a kindergarten teacher, like this
is my first year teachingkindergarten, they moved me from
second grade down tokindergarten. And I'm loving
watching These Kids play andlearn through play. And they're
experimenting, and they're justtrying new things. And they're
so curious, and they're notworried about if they get it
right, or they get it wrong, or,you know, they're not learning

(01:07:40):
for the sake of a good grade.
They just genuinely are excited,like, look what I can do now.
And yeah, it's really inspiringto be around that energy again,
and to just see like, they givethemselves all the permissions.
Yeah, it's not been that has notbeen socialized out of them yet.
And so it can be a littlefrustrating as a teacher,

(01:08:01):
because I'm supposed to get themin line. And you know, but it's
also really inspiring to see andto remember that, like, I was
that kid once what happened tothat kid? What happened to the
little girl?

Amy (01:08:13):
That's a powerful question.
Yes,

Gloria Gonzalez (01:08:17):
yes. And so, I have been kind of rediscovering
experimentation in play, thatplay was not something I ever
did well, ever, even as a child.
I've always been a very seriousperson very concerned with, you
know, the world suffering andpolitics and religion and all

(01:08:37):
the things. And so now in my oldage, I'm approaching four now.
And I'm just starting to like,give myself permission to
experiment and to play and to bewhere I'm at and not worried
about results and to enjoy that.

(01:08:57):
But I think, for me,experimentation, and play, just
they go hand in hand.

Amy Cooper (01:09:06):
I love it. And this episode, this conversation is
going to air in the new year,when people are creating new
habits, maybe it's somebodyresolution to start meditating.
And just as we conclude thisconversation, I was wondering if
you have any last words ofencouragement for people who are

(01:09:30):
taking on meditation or wantingto get make it a bigger part of
their lives?

Gloria Gonzalez (01:09:35):
Yeah, I think something that I like to ask
myself when I'm when I'mstarting something new that I
think is like good for me, butmay not be the easiest thing to
adopt. I like to pay attentionto how it leaves me. So for
example, running didn't alwaysfeel good when I would first get

(01:09:56):
out there. My muscles would besore joints would be sore. But
by the time I was done, I feltamazing. And that's what kept me
coming back each time. And so ifthey're going to start a
meditation practice, I would saytry to pay attention to how you
feel before and how you feelafter Anna Forrest is a yoga

(01:10:16):
instructor that I love herapproach to yoga. And one of the
things that she asks people iswhat part of this can you do?
And so if and she says, break itdown into like, the tiniest baby
step, whatever you can besuccessful at. So if if you
already understand the benefitsto meditation, most people are

(01:10:38):
aware that like, you know, notonly do the ancient teachings
suggest that we do this, butalso current scientific research
is saying it's extremelybeneficial. So if you're already
convinced of that, and you wantto do it, then I would say what
is the smallest amount of timethat you can give to meditation
and be successful and tocontinue to do it. So like, like

(01:11:02):
I said, if you can just sit forone breath, and do that for 30
days for a month, and you know,if you feel like extending it
before that time, that's fine.
Of course, it's right, all thefreedoms, all the permissions.
And then just slowly try toincrease that and experiment and
play with it and see what feelsgood. You know, if if burning
incense helps, then burn someincense if playing some light,

(01:11:25):
relaxing music helps then dothat. If, for me, especially now
that it's getting colder. I loveto like wrap myself in a
blanket, or like a robe orsomething to wrap that around me
when I meditate that feelscomforting. And like, you know,
I'm out of bed, but I'm stillcozy, you know. And so I think,

(01:11:45):
yeah, just giving ourselvespermission to to make it an
enjoyable experience, bringsomething bringing a I saw you
had a warm cup of tea. I alsohave a warm cup of tea, which
sometimes I'll bring a warm cupof tea with me to my mat to
meditate. And I'll just hold it,because it just feels good. So I

(01:12:08):
just think, experiment, play andbaby steps. Be gentle. Trust
your body. And if you if youmiss a day, like you don't have
to beat yourself up, you don'thave to get angry, you don't
have to feel like oh, well, Iruined that, you know, just come
back the next time. You know,it's just like the end that's

(01:12:32):
part of the practice ofmeditation, right? When we find
that our mind wanders, the ideais we just gently bring it back
without beating ourselves upover it. And it's the same, you
know, life is busy life iscrazy. We get sick, or you know,
we have a late night, we don'twant to wake up in the morning.
I give myself permissionoccasionally to miss a
meditation. I mean, there aredays when I wake up, and I just

(01:12:55):
go, not today, it's moreimportant for me to fix my hair.
So I don't look like a crazymonster at work, then to you
today. And I try not to do thattoo often. But but you know,
we're humans, we're not robots.
So expecting perfection and, andthat we're going to do this

(01:13:15):
everyday without fail isunrealistic. And so but I think
I think it's worth playing with,I think meditation is worth
playing with. And I think thatif you give it enough time, you
can see how it just kind ofseamlessly flows into everyday
life and how it benefits. Itbenefits you in just everyday

(01:13:40):
situations.

Lauren (01:13:42):
Beautiful. Thank you so much, Gloria, thank you so much
for being here for sharing yourwisdom with all of us. And
people can find you at yourwebsite, which is can you say
your website's name, real quick.
Sit,

Gloria Gonzalez (01:13:59):
observe surrender.com

Lauren (01:14:01):
So sit, observe surrender.com is where you can
find Gloria and her meditationpractice suggestions, her blog,
and how to find you also onYouTube and other places as
well.

Gloria Gonzalez (01:14:17):
Thank you so much for having me.

Lauren (01:14:19):
Thank you so much.

Amy (01:14:20):
Thank you so much.