September 6, 2025 • 54 mins
Death doesn't come with a guidebook. For Rhonda Roberts, each loss became a stepping stone toward profound understanding—from the confusion of a 10-year-old watching her grandmother's casket to the peace of whispering goodbye to her father-in-law on his birthday.
"The last thing people that are loved ones want us to do when they transition is to spend our lives in a constant state of grief," Rhonda shares, her cheerleader's energy bringing unexpected light to this somber truth. A Texas-born choreographer and coach whose spirit radiates through every story, Rhonda takes us through her evolution from a college sophomore desperately reading every book on death after losing her father, to a woman who can hold both grief and joy in the same breath.
Her most extraordinary story involves her Aunt Betty, with whom she developed a deep phone relationship during daily commutes. After Betty's passing, Rhonda's three-year-old daughter announced, "Mommy, I saw Aunt Betty. She said I love you. Now go to sleep"—addressing the exact bedtime struggles Rhonda had discussed with her aunt before her death. These moments of connection beyond the physical realm have shaped Rhonda's understanding that our loved ones remain present, just differently.
Beyond her grief journey, Rhonda shares glimpses of her vibrant life—from cheerleading in films like "Bring It On Again" to writing her children's book "Coconut and the Orange Cat," which teaches that joy comes from within. Her philosophy is refreshingly simple yet profound: "You're here, so why not give it your 100%? Just do the things!" This enthusiasm for fully showing up to life honors those she's lost while embracing her continuing journey.
Follow Rhonda and look for her forthcoming book that will guide others through their own grief journeys. Her story reminds us that hope isn't found by avoiding pain, but by moving through it with intention, presence, and the courage to keep showing up.
Thanks for listening to Soul SiStories. We hope you follow us on your favorite podcast platform. Five-star ratings and reviews always help to spread our message of hope.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to Soul Sisteries.
Hey everyone, we had just afabulous conversation with a
sweet friend of mine, RhondaRoberts, and now I'm just
delighted for everyone to get toknow her and what she's all
about.
She has some real wisdom toshare and such a great heart.
(00:26):
Wasn't that a fun talk?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
It was a great talk and now of course, I've got a
list of music and books andmovies to watch, so I've got to
get going on that.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Yeah, we're going to start with Prince, right?
Yeah, find out all about it.
Listen in everybody.
Yes, we are here with thelovely and wonderful friend of
mine, rhonda Roberts.
I'm so glad to know Rhonda andhave her in my world.
(00:59):
She came to my world throughtheater and her daughter and you
know the kids' world, but I'vereally appreciated getting to
know Rhonda since that time andthrough that and I'm just so
delighted that everybody's goingto be able to hear her story.
Rhonda is a born and bred Texasgirl who is now out here in
(01:22):
California.
She has a deep and rich historyin the world of cheerleading,
both as a cheerleader and as acoach, a trainer, choreographer,
all of that wonderful stuff andshe carries that with her to
this day.
She has a beautiful, extended,lovely, wonderful family.
Also, throughout her familyjourney has experienced a lot of
(01:44):
deep and early loss.
That has informed a lot ofwhere she is today and I know
she's going to talk to us aboutit.
One of the things I love aboutRhonda and is so clear
throughout her story and I knowit's going to come up now as we
speak with her is that you knowRhonda's hope through that we're
talking about here is showingup hope through showing up, and
(02:06):
it's what Rhonda does again andagain, and again in her life.
She keeps showing up in big,bold and beautiful ways.
So Rhonda welcome to SoulfulHistory.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Wow, what an introduction.
Thank you so much.
I'm like.
Is she talking about me?
Speaker 1 (02:23):
I'm like is she talking about me A hundred
percent?
And so so easy?
I really do admire you and yourspirit, your energy and your
just willingness to jump in anddo the thing to extend yourself,
to expand yourself, something Iadmire in my sister here as
well.
She does that as well and Ijust honor and admire that so
(02:44):
much in wonderful, beautiful,strong women in the world.
So thank you for sharing yourstory.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
And I just want to say welcome Rhonda, and I don't
know if we've met before, maybethrough theater, but I don't
know, I've been around a lot.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
You were probably sitting in the same audience at
some point, Right right?
Speaker 2 (03:03):
But I've certainly heard your name and I've heard
about your book and I've heardabout your cheerleading and all
of that over the years.
So I'm looking forward to kindof hearing your story and
knowing more about you and justkind of learning it all.
So I guess, if it's all right,we'd like to just say can you
tell us kind of what got youhere?
(03:24):
And that's a crazy question,Like okay, you turned on the
video and you're here today,right.
But I mean, what got you tothis point where we're asking
you to share your story with us?
Because we are interested inhope in all forms and wherever
it comes from.
And I work a lot in grief andloss and I do understand that
(03:46):
that is part of your earlyjourney in life, and so I guess
I would just kind of like tohear what you want to share with
us about where you've been andwhere you are today, if you can.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Oh, that is a great question because it makes me
reflect on how I got here andthe reason I am in this spot
right now is because I got olderand matured and realized that I
was learning about my wholeprocess with dealing with grief
and loss.
And I mean it was hundreds andhundreds of YouTube videos of
(04:25):
dealing with death and dying andnear-death experiences where I
just started to realize theprocess that I had gone through.
And I looked back on all thelosses that I had in my life and
realized in the very beginningI was just, I was unclear, I was
young.
I lost my grandmother when Iwas 10 years old and I remember
(04:47):
sitting in the church with mymom.
We were on the third pew.
I could see the casket was alittle slightly off to my right
and I said, mom, she's going toget up.
She's like, no, she's not baby.
And I'm like, yes, she is,she's going to get up.
Because I had no concept ofsomebody just laying there, my
(05:10):
grandmother, who was active inmy life.
It just made zero sense to meand I remember because I was in
Kilgore, texas, where thefuneral was.
I remember driving back home toDallas, which was about an hour
and a half drive and looking outthe window at the stars, the
entire time just trying to makesense of what happened to her,
(05:30):
like I don't understand.
And I remember being upset,before we left with my
grandfather, with the responsewhen someone asked him how are
you doing?
He said well, I'm still living.
I got offended about that.
I'm like how could he say I'mstill living, you know?
And she thought he didn't meanit that way.
But I remember those were myfirst like really strong
(05:51):
feelings, like how could he saythat?
You know she's gone now, butanyway, that was the first point
of loss experience for me and Ijust remember being really,
really confused.
You know, I would move forwardand I lost my uncle, my mom's
brother, to a heart attack.
I didn't have a lot of memorieswith him because he was a truck
(06:12):
driver, so he was always on theroad, but I remember seeing her
sadness and just again it tookme back to that like why did
this have to happen?
I don't understand this.
Why are people here and thenthey're gone?
And then I lost mygreat-grandmother on my dad's
(06:35):
side and all the things.
It was like a year would go byand then I would lose someone
else, ultimate confusion.
And then it wasn't until I gotto my sophomore year in college
when I lost my father, where Iwas like, okay, I need to
understand this.
And that's when I grabbed everybook I could find on loss and
just reading and trying tounderstand where do we go, what
(06:58):
happens, why is this happening?
Why do I have to lose someoneso important to me, you know,
and so that was my thirst forknowledge.
So I went from not knowingcompletely to I have to
understand this process, likewhat is going on.
It needed to make sense to me.
When he was he had had cancer.
(07:19):
He was diagnosed with cancer in1991.
And my dad was very active.
He would go to games.
He was a sports writer, so hewrote for a newspaper, so he
would go to high school footballgames and high school track
meets and that was his focus washigh school, so he would show
up at my games because I was acheerleader and he would show up
(07:42):
and just he was.
You know, my parents weredivorced but he was present.
So anyway, he was diagnosedwith cancer in 91 and didn't
occur.
I mean, I was sad.
I'm like, oh my gosh, I was sadbut didn't occur to me that he
wasn't going to make it Likejust thought people beat this,
they will get through it.
And he did.
(08:03):
He went through his treatments,got better and then, towards
November of 92, he startedgetting worse and went back and
went to the hospital and they itbasically was Christmas break
and they were like he was in thehospital and then he had to end
up in ICU.
And there we were and I'mbegging him, please don't go.
(08:26):
I want you to be here, I wantyou to see me graduate, I want
you to walk me down the aisle,all these things.
And that's when I firstexperienced timelessness.
I remember being in the roomwith him and I just was sitting
by his side and he tried to openhis eyes and they were
bloodshot.
(08:46):
I totally remember that.
And we were taking turnsrotating in the room.
His then wife was going to comein after us.
My aunt, his sister, was therealso.
I was in there with my brotherand I'm talking to him Please
don't leave, don't go, don't go.
I mean that was constant.
And they came into the room.
They were like you guys need togo get some food or something.
(09:09):
He apparently had been in therefor two hours.
I thought I had been in therefor 15 minutes.
I mean, it really honestly feltlike 15 minutes and we left.
And shortly after we left andgot home, and shortly after we
left and got home, we were toldthat he was transitioning.
So from that lesson I had to golearn about why we leave.
(09:39):
Well, fast forward to myfather-in-law passing.
We all were gathered at hishome, which was great.
His birthday is on October 11th, his birthday is on October
11th, my son is on October 7th,mine is on October 13th.
So we always had familygatherings during that time to
celebrate the three birthdays.
Well, he had been put onhospice the day before, in his
(10:00):
home home hospice, and we wereall gathered around him and I
had never experienced a losslike this.
We're all gathered around him,we're talking about our favorite
moments with him, we're singingsongs and making jokes about
ourselves because he was in thechoir.
We're like we know we don'tsound as good as you think you
(10:21):
used to, but it was really abeautiful moment.
I had never experienced thatkind of transitioning before,
and after we did that, we sanghappy birthday to him and
everybody left the room and Istayed in there and, you know,
the nurse had just kind ofwarned us and said you know
(10:42):
things are shutting down.
And I said to him, I whisperedin his ear, I said, dad, you've
done an amazing job.
Thank you so much foreverything.
I'm so grateful to have gottento know you and I totally
learned that from all the videosand things that I listened to
about what you say to those thatare transitioning.
You don't want to make themfeel like they have to hold on
(11:05):
when it's their time and I justyou know it's hard to say, you
know, go ahead and go, becauseyou don't want them and but it's
, it was time.
And he literally left on hisbirthday, which I thought was so
cool.
I'm like he just tidiedeverything up and on October
11th and out on October 11th,and that was the first time that
(11:26):
I had this lightness about atransition.
I mean, everybody else was sad,so I have to be careful, but I
was like this was time for him.
You know the other.
I mean I'm still talking.
Y'all better stop.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
No, you're good and we're listening.
Yeah, so please continue.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
She's the matriarch of the family and part of my
growing up.
My mom had six sisters and sohuge family fun, chaotic family
gatherings, but Aunt Betty wasthe matriarch.
She was the one that would pulleverybody together.
We'd all be at Cramden andBetty's small house on Super
Bowl Sundays and running out ofthe front yard screaming how
(12:15):
about those Cowboys?
And she was the one.
So when my daughter Aaliyah wasyoung my mom lives with us she
would take the kids back toTexas to visit her family during
the summer sometimes.
So Aaliyah was about two whenshe took her back to Dallas and
(12:38):
stayed at Aunt Betty's house.
And it started where I woulddrive.
I had an hour 15 minute commuteto and from work, so I would
call on the way home just how'severybody doing, how you know.
So I would talk to her and itbecame a time where Aaliyah
would be attacking Aunt BettyLike I don't know why she's
gullying me today, but we'refighting and it was like a daily
(13:00):
thing and so I would hear allthe stories.
And you know Aunt Betty, I lovethat Aunt Betty and Aaliyah was
.
They were getting to bond andso fast, forward Aaliyah's back
home Shortly after that.
I just kept calling her on theway home, just talking to her.
And so two or three months go by, after Aaliyah came back, and
(13:22):
she, she says she tells me thatshe's diagnosed with cancer.
Again, I love that.
Everybody people beat thiswe're.
You know she's gonna be fine,she's strong.
You know she talks to me, shewould have treatments.
We would still have ourconversations.
She didn't sound like she wasweak or hurting, but she, she
(13:43):
started telling me things likeher friends that are, you know,
calling me.
I didn't even know I affectedtheir lives that way, but people
were starting to reach out toher because they had learned of
her diagnosis and they just weretelling her how much they
appreciated her and the change,the differences she made in
their lives.
And she's telling me all thesethings Again.
(14:04):
I'm still clueless.
I'm like she's going to be this.
We'll be at her house next year.
You know this is what I'mthinking.
So this is towards the end ofthe year.
I think it was 2009,.
End of 2009.
So Leah was about two.
She was born in 07.
So end of 2009,.
She's going through hertreatment and all this we get
(14:26):
into the next year.
She's still.
She hasn't gone in remission oranything, but she's still
dealing with it.
And March of 2010,.
She says to me and I'm drivingto a cheerleading competition,
getting ready to go to work fora big three-day event and she
says to me, rhonda, I'm tired,and I hear it and I just I I
(14:51):
didn't know how to control itthen, but I was like anybody
don't talk like that, you'regonna beat this.
Have we tried everything?
You gotta do this, this andthis.
And because I totally heard it,I heard it in her voice and so
she then told my mom that I wasupset with her and I didn't want
her to feel that way, but sheknew she could hear it.
(15:13):
So probably about a month no,three weeks after that, she got
put into hospice and I stilltalked to her and she passed.
And, surprisingly, when shepassed, I was lifted.
I felt lifted.
(15:34):
I grieved the day she told meshe was tired.
And so at the funeral, which ispacked all our family, all
these people they had me speakand because I was probably the
only one of the grandkids andthe nieces that could even
(15:54):
function up there, because I wasable to have had those moments
with her, and that's when Ilearned it is so important to
talk to the people that you love, tell them that you love them,
because when they're not there,like I saw my cousins, just they
were unconsolable because theyhadn't had the chance to talk to
(16:15):
her.
They hadn't.
You know, life happens and youdon't talk to your aunts every
day, you move away, you don'tsee them.
But me, having us, having hadthat, she would.
I would get home and she waslike, okay, your co-pilot is
signing out.
You know, we had that bondevery day and I felt good about
her transition because I knewpeople loved her.
(16:37):
She knew people loved her.
We had shared thoseconversations and this is the
real kicker, you guys, I this ishow you kicker, you guys, this
is how you know that they arearound us, even after they
transition.
Because when I would drive home, sometimes I was sharing with
her.
This girl, aaliyah, will not goto bed at night.
I don't know how she's such anight owl.
(16:58):
And so my aunt would be like,well, try this, try this, try
this.
And I'm like nothing.
And keep in mind, aaliyah, atthis point, is not even three
yet she might be right at threewhen she passes.
Yeah, she had just turned threeand so she's talking a little
(17:19):
bit, so probably about a monthor maybe three weeks after she
passed.
Aaliyah gets up and she saysMommy, I saw Aunt Betty and I'm
like, okay, you did.
What did she say?
She said I love you.
Now go to sleep.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
I mean that still gives me chills.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
That still gives me chills, because how would the
baby know?
How would she know that thatwas the conversation?
Because Aunt Betty told her.
So you know the experience I'vehad with that and loss, and the
comfort I have in knowing thatthey're around us and it's
loving and they want us to dowell, what I would love to do is
(18:05):
in a book that I'm eventuallygoing to get.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Yes, you are, yes, you are, yes, you are.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Yes you are.
And to show my transitionbetween my loss, to help people
realize okay, you might not knowin the beginning, then you
might have this realization andthen you do have this acceptance
.
And the last thing people thatare loved ones want us to do
when they transition is to spendour lives in a constant state
(18:31):
of grace.
That is the last thing theywant us to do.
So but then my other thing isis I'm a cheerleader.
So I want to write a book aboutgrief, but I'm a cheerleader.
Like how does that even mix?
Like who's going to?
Speaker 2 (18:47):
You know what, though ?
I absolutely love that, becauseone of the things that I had a
hard time with in my journey isthe acceptance of this deep,
deep grief and loss could liveright next to this joy and love
and hope, and it was such aweird thing to learn that both
(19:10):
exist at the same time.
You go through the journey andyou're grieving, but then you're
smiling and people are like, oh, you're doing great,
everything's so good, right, andit's like, no, this thing is
beautiful and happy and thisstill exists, and so I love that
idea, and I don't know what itis.
Is it a cheerleader who goesthrough it?
Is it, you know, finding hopethrough cheer when this stuff is
(19:33):
going on?
But I see that they do liveright next to each other, so I
absolutely love that.
Yeah, that is a great point.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
That's a great point, yeah, and, rhonda, you know, I
think your story definitelydeserves to be told.
Thank you for sharing with mean earlier draft of what you
were thinking about and what youwant to do, but I think there
is for sure a place out there inthe world.
And what I love particularly,rhonda, that you're talking
about yes, you're talking aboutus going on after and you're
(20:09):
talking about embracing the lifethat you have, but being really
intentional around thetransition, really intentional
around that passage here and now, not just jumping into the
after and not avoiding it, butembracing that.
This is an absolutely real,undeniable part of life.
There's nobody who is gettingout of this existence without
(20:30):
that.
That is there for us all, andso how do we face it and meet it
and embrace it in healthy andmeaningful ways?
And you're being so intentionalabout that and not a lot of
people talk about that so thatyou are bringing that forward, I
think is really important andworthwhile, and all of your
(20:53):
journeys through them.
You have so much to say and somuch to offer, and we know that
you, of course, miss your peopleand we wish that our people
were here now experiencing thesethings in life with us in the
same ways that we know, and it'sgreat to know that they are
(21:17):
where they are now.
But really being intentionalthrough that time, I just think
that's so incredibly meaningful.
I know I just said a lot, butthat's such an important point.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Yeah, you know, after my dad passed, I realized I was
carrying his loss for a verylong time.
On Christmas Day.
He left on Christmas Day, so itwas one day.
It was a Christmas morning andI was walking down the stairs.
(21:50):
Aaliyah was a babe in arms andit was I don't know what it was
in that moment, but it was likeRhonda, let go of this, because
my kids, I know they can senseit.
It wasn't like I'll be in thecorner crying or you know super
sad, but it was something insideme that was like I'm sad, you
know, and one of my really goodgirlfriends I guess she's kind
(22:15):
of the one who initiated thisbecause she was, I felt her like
trying to take me back downthat path.
She was like I know, this is ahard time of the year for you
and you know, being a friend andtrying to be understanding.
And then I heard myself in thatmoment going I don't want that
to be.
I don't want to have myChristmas be a hard time every
year because my dad wouldn'twant that.
(22:36):
So she doesn't really say thatanymore, but it was kind of that
comment that triggered me going.
I don't want to have thatlooming over me looming over me.
So it's also me realizing howto again find the joy in
(22:58):
existence without that humanexistence that I once wanted to
be around, and I get sad.
I would get sad because my dadwill not meet his grandkids.
I would love for them to havebeen in his presence, but that's
not the way it works out.
He sees them, he's proud ofthem, he's proud of me, and I
(23:20):
just have to accept that it's inanother form.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Yeah, absolutely that's true, See, sis, this is
you see why.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
I asked Ronda to come on and talk with us, yeah.
Yeah, and I'm sure you probablyknow, ronda, our stories cross
a little bit in that, you know,I lost my husband when the
children were, you know, 10thand 12th grade, so just a little
younger than you were when youlost your father.
And so I'm looking, you know, atmy loss, but also the loss for
(23:50):
my children not having their dadwith them through this journey.
So it's yeah, it's definitelyan experience.
I want to ask because, donna,I'm sure you know this, but you
talked about wanting to writethis other book, and I know you
shared that a book is coming outsoon and maybe a coloring book
with it, but you do have a bookout already and I want to hear
(24:12):
what that.
I know the name Coconut and theOrange Cat, but I want to know
what it's about.
I haven't read it, but Idefinitely want to.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
So yeah, coconut and the Orange Cat.
It kind of came on by a whimand we'd had a little white
Maltese named Coconut.
My husband and I it was likereally before the kids came
around, that was our littlechild and Coconut loved this
little toy orange cat which wereally don't know where it came
from.
We took it to the vet one timeand I think it was a leftover
(24:40):
toy and they just sent it homewith her.
She loved that cat.
So jokingly my husband and Isaid Coconut and the orange cat.
I'm like that kind of soundslike a book and that sat for
years and then one day while Iwas sitting here I just like, oh
, remember Coconut and theOrange Cat.
I think we should just go aheadand write that book.
(25:01):
I literally like came up withan idea to use the story to
teach colors to children butalso bring in the element of
finding joy within to children.
But also bring in the elementof finding joy within.
So Coconut and Orange Cat isthe story about this little girl
who has a dog named Coconut.
Alani is the little girl andAlani is actually my niece.
(25:22):
Coconut's her pet and shenoticed that Coconut's sad so
she's trying everything she cando to go to this pet store and
find a toy that will makecoconut happy and coconut just
is never happy with any of theirtoys.
Um, and it goes through all thecolors.
She goes to the store.
She finds a blue fish.
She finds something.
(25:43):
Wait, what is it?
She finds a.
She finds a blue fish.
She finds a purple ball.
She finds actually it's abluebird.
She finds a purple ball.
She finds actually it's a bluebird.
She finds a green lizard.
This is the best.
And so none of those work.
And then she's sitting on thebed.
She's like I pretty much Idon't know what to do.
And then Coconut noticesthere's an orange.
(26:04):
She notices under the tablethat there's the toy and she
gets happy and she finds the joy.
But the concept is that joy wasinside the whole time, so you
didn't have to go outside to getit.
The joy was inside.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
I love that and it's that piece of showing up right
that like the joy is there, evenif it's dormant, like you don't
know it's there, but by showingup it can come out, which is
huge, Very important.
So children's book, but hassome great value for adults also
(26:40):
, I think.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Right, and then your coloring book that you're
working on is a companion rightto the coconut book.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
Yes, it's basically the visuals in the coconut and
orange cat.
It's basically the visuals inthe coconut and orange cat and
they can color the pages in thatso sweet.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
So here's the thing.
We have to say it also.
So I mean, you know that I'malso a children's book author
and I've had the opportunity topublish quite a bit and I have
many people in my world who comeup and talk about this idea
they have for a children's book.
Everybody is a children's bookauthor in their own mind, but it
is few and far between rightwho actually do the thing and
(27:19):
then do the work to publish thebook, have it published and
really make it come to fruition.
A lot of people just wantsomebody to wave that magic wand
for them like you just did it.
You just did it and you'redoing second edition now.
That's so.
All of that is then to ask aquestion what is that thing
(27:43):
within you?
What do you attribute that tothat you do keep showing up and
you do keep just puttingyourself out there and making
the things happen, becauseyou're human.
You, you have fears likeeveryone, insecurities like
everyone.
What, what allows you to moveforward?
(28:03):
And what about you does that?
Speaker 3 (28:07):
I think the first thing I want to say is that I
like the challenge and I think Ilike the accomplishment of it
when it's done.
But I thought for the book thatit was really important for me
to, I guess, just do what I saidI was going to do.
And I'm like, ok, I said I wasgoing to do this, I'm going to
(28:29):
do it.
I just think the challengesthat present themselves to me
like I can handle that, and thenI go for it and I do it.
But I also thought the storywas important to get out and so
I wanted to finish.
Finish that I also want to bean example.
(28:50):
Now that I have kids, I alsowant to be an example to them.
Like, do what you say you'regoing to do.
But I think even before thenI've always felt like, ooh, I
can do that.
And then I just want to get itdone Now, following up on it and
making sure I'm marketing anddoing all the extra stuff, like
(29:12):
that there's a little bit of alag, but I just like the, I like
feeling accomplished and I likehelping people in the process.
So I guess that's kind of theanswer.
I don't know.
I feel like there might besomething deeper to it, but I
know initially, initially, if Isee something, oh, I can do that
(29:34):
, then I just I want to go forit and I want to get it done.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Yeah, it's just in you.
Did you have as a kid?
Were there particular people inyour world who kind of modeled
that for you or as you thinkabout, kind of you observed and
took that in?
Speaker 3 (29:56):
observed and took that in.
I guess wait, when you saidthat I mean my parents.
That's a good, that's a reallygood question.
I think the biggest time that Ifelt that accomplishment
feeling is I was the first oneto finish college, bravo, and
(30:17):
like out of all the grandkids Iwas the first one to go, and I
was the first one not the firstone to go, but I was the first
one to actually finish.
It took me five years but I didit.
That's okay.
And I think when I had thesupport of the family I had, my
grandparents came, I had a big,huge group that came down to
support my finishing and I thinkthat was a big thing to me.
(30:43):
Like I've never even reallysaid that out loud, but I
remember that feeling of I didthis and look at my family here
to support me, like I feelbeautiful.
Like I'm so accomplished.
So I think that was a bigdriving force for me.
And when I was younger, likeschool years, I've always had
this motivation to do well.
(31:04):
I don't even know why.
My mom never put like superfear in me, but I always wanted
to get good grades.
I always wanted to.
I'm like I got to have perfectattendance.
I don't even know where thatcame from, but I just wanted to
do well when I was in school.
I don't know where that drivecame from, to be honest, it was
(31:24):
just there.
But I think the biggest turningpoint was when I graduated
college and felt really goodabout that.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yeah, that's wonderful and it sounds like
having that robust support.
I mean it really does matter,right that we've got that in our
world.
Just one quick little story ofmy own I can remember, as you
were talking about thegraduation, when I graduated
high school, my sisters and Iall went to this parochial
(31:53):
college, prep girls' school andour two older sisters had gone
there and they had made theirown choices about school and
their journey.
And I went through and at thegraduation ceremony I was given
the top honor that the schoolhad to offer and that was lovely
.
But the loveliest thing and oh,I feel it to this day is just
(32:16):
seared in my memory and I tookwith me was walking back up the
aisle and those two oldersisters standing there and
cheering and the looks on theirfaces, that support, that
embrace and their celebration ofit.
Just I mean, I feel that tothis moment.
Yeah, yeah, how exceptional itis to this moment.
Speaker 3 (32:33):
Yeah, yeah, how exceptional.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
it is to have that so thank you, that's awesome,
thank you for jogging thatmemory.
That's awesome.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
And listening to both of you and going back to that
showing up thing, I'm thinkingof all the videos that you see
online now that talk about howimportant it is to show up.
You know, and you see thelittle kids on the school stage
performing and looking for mom,dad, whoever and then you see
the doctor at graduation, withthe older man who's sitting
(33:03):
there and he's looking, and whenhe sees his family he gets all
excited, right, because theyshowed up and it's just, it's a
reminder of how important it isto show up.
You know, for others, foryourself, just and I'm getting
teary, but that is where hopecomes from is just showing up,
(33:26):
and I think that is reallyimportant.
All of this and people showingup for you and you showing up
for yourself and clearly forothers.
Who is it that inspires you inyour life when you were younger?
Today, just, who are yourinspirations?
Who inspires me?
Speaker 3 (33:47):
um, that's a great question.
I look to a lot of people forinspiration, the people that can
get on any social mediaplatform and tell their real
story, like the ugly, gritty,dirty ones that I don't want to
come out and say happened in mylife.
I think that's really inspiringbecause it helps other people
(34:23):
see that they are not you know.
Oh, they're going through thesame.
I think that's so inspiringbecause it's all about helping
other people.
Yeah, and you know, we alldon't want to be condemned for
doing what we did and thechoices we made, but for someone
to come out and share theirstory, I think that's amazing.
(34:43):
I think that's inspiring.
Now on the artist side, princeis an inspiration to me.
Today is his birthday, by theway, Happy birthday side.
Prince is an inspiration to meand today is his birthday, by
the way, happy birthday.
And I just I was amazed, like Ilove his music, I thought he
was so cute when I was younger,but really I just thought the
(35:03):
way that he has been able toconnect to his source and pull
the creativity and I think thatis so inspiring and amazing.
I want to tap into that.
Like, can I please tap intowhatever that is I'm supposed to
be tapping into?
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Yeah, that artistry is definitely on a spiritual
plane, for sure, using everypart of him.
But tapping into all that is,I'm just saying that.
That just blows my mind.
Blows my mind, I mean, there'sa song.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
I heard not too long ago that I didn't know he did,
and I am a huge Prince fan.
I'm like that.
Man has so many songs and haswritten for so many people.
Where did all that come from?
He just tapped in and was ableto create all that he did.
I mean, he was amazing.
So that's really trulyinspiring to me.
(36:24):
Rhonda when you look back tothat kid that you were sort of
let's think about that tween,maybe 12, 13, around that age,
and what you were doing and whoyou were then.
And if that girl was seeingwhere you are today and looking
at you now, what would she say?
She was saying you're doinggood, but you can do better, oh,
oh, better, oh, oh oh.
I remember feeling like I'munstoppable at that age.
You know, I felt like I can doanything.
Right now I'm not complaining.
(36:48):
I'm very grateful for where Iam, what I have, my family, who
I'm surrounded with.
I feel like there's more.
There's that book in there,there's more in here to do.
But she would say to me you'redoing good, you have a nice life
, but you can do more.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
Do you think and this just leads me to this other
question Do?
Speaker 3 (37:25):
you think and this just leads me to this other
question do you think yourresearch into an awareness of
death and that role in our lives, do you think that that also
informs how you choose to live?
Oh, absolutely Absolutely.
And another loss to talk aboutthat I lost my oldest brother
(37:46):
maybe three years ago.
I think it was three years ago.
Unfortunately, he was a littleestranged from the family
because I believe and I don'tknow, I'm not a doctor but I
believe there was some kind ofbipolar or something going on to
the point to where it wasalmost violent.
So we were great growing up.
I looked up to him growing up.
He was super smart.
He could take a computer apartand put it back together before
(38:09):
that was even really a thing,really smart.
But as he got older he just hewas like very argumentative,
he'd be nice one minute and thenupset and angry and ready to
fight the next.
So he comes out here.
He came out here.
(38:29):
He has two sons.
One of his sons, brett, liveshere and has children.
Well, frederick is his name.
He came out, and he was livingwith Brett for a little bit of
time Before he left Dallas,though, to come out here, he had
injured our other brother,stopped him from working, just
(38:50):
caused problems, and then hemoved out here.
Brett, let him live with him,kind of started some issues and
God rest his soul.
I just my heart hurts because Ijust wish things could have
been different.
I don't know, he didn't want tolive in a shelter, so he was
(39:16):
living in a tent and Brett endedup finding him and I was hurt
because we didn't have therelationship and he didn't have
the relationship with my family,with my kids, that I would have
loved and I loved him very much.
(39:40):
But I, just when I lost my dadand even friends that I've I've
known that I've lost I had agreater sense of loss.
But because we were estranged,it was kind of like I hadn't
seen him.
You know I'm sad for thatbecause I don't have.
Anyway, my point to the, myanswer to the question, is that
(40:04):
yes, I want to live a life wherepeople feel like I've shown up
for them, I've paid attention tothem, I've paid attention to
them, I've been empathetic tothem.
I you know that's.
I mean it's a genuine feeling.
I'm not doing it just so I canget accolades after my
(40:24):
transition but I want to show upin people's lives and them have
a good feeling about me.
I want to have thatconversation, like my Aunt Betty
did, when people were callingher and they made these.
They were telling her all thegreat things that she did for
them.
So, yeah, I absolutely justknowing what I know.
Now, you know, I call, I'vestarted calling my family a
(40:47):
little bit more often and say,hey, how you're doing?
And you know we would go for amonth, maybe sometimes a year,
not talking to each other.
And I started to reach out tomy family and just hey, just
checking in, you know.
But yeah, it's definitelyaffected and changed how I live
day to day.
And you know experience lifewith my kids and you know talk
(41:09):
to them about they don't like.
When I bring up, though, whatto do with me.
Once I pass I'm like, look,don't put me in the ground and
then going back there becauseI'm not in there Right, taking
up land, space, you know, justpreeminent ocean.
Don't try to save any of myasses by carrying me around.
Don't do that.
I'm not in there.
(41:30):
Don't worry about all that.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
They don't want to talk about it, but they know.
I hear that, I hear that.
But what I also hear throughall of this is you're making a
choice to live veryintentionally, intentionally
with people around you,intentionally with how you live
your life.
Which gosh.
That is a message for us all,for sure.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
Well, and I think my question leading from that, and
I guess I could fill in theblanks myself but I wonder if
you have kind of like a motto ora life philosophy that you live
by.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
It's part of that showing up piece, I think, for
it's um, you're here, so why notgive it your 100?
Like what am I doing?
Like why are we halfway doingstuff?
Like, just do it to the fullest, like, whatever it is, you know
, and my kids are so chill andlaid back.
They're like why are you?
I'm like, let's go, let's,let's have the fun.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
Let's do the things.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
And you know, even with them they were so different
from me and I know kids aredifferent than their parents but
they just really didn'tparticipate in all the school
things, Like I had to push themlike go to that prom, Like go to
homecoming, Do the things, Justdo the things.
So I'm like you're here, I mean, do the things Right, Just do
the things.
So I'm like you're here, Justenjoy it.
(42:53):
That's what it's supposed to beabout.
What are we going to do?
Just sit around and lollygagand be the bump on the log.
Yeah, that's showing my age.
Bump on the log, that's such anold saying.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
I think we're all right there.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
You know what I meant , exactly, exactly Well, and
I've been so fortunate to beable to follow some of that
journey with your girl too, andher diving in and embracing
those things in her world.
You know, when we just did theWolves at the theater and she
took part in it, my gosh, I'm soproud of her.
(43:29):
And she went deep for that roleand just really took it on.
That was um, that one's gonnastay that was fun.
Speaker 3 (43:38):
Thank you for having her do that.
She, she was just like.
I don't want y'all to come seeme rehearse because she's a
little salty.
Her character is a little saltyin the language which is funny,
because that's not at all who?
Speaker 1 (43:53):
yeah, it is to embrace that character was a
kind of a kind of a hoot, uh,but yes, I was so authentic and
beautiful and that I didn'tdirect that show in.
It's our producer, kirk'sdaughter, marlee, who directed
Aaliyah in that show, but I'veloved watching Aaliyah through
(44:17):
these years and seeing her dowhat she does, so bravo.
Okay, sis, is this the time?
Should we jump into our rapidfire question?
I think so.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
You take it away, sis .
Okay, so we're going to justask these questions, don't spend
a lot of time thinking aboutthem, just kind of whatever
comes to you and no pressure,though.
Like if nothing comes to you,that's okay also.
But you know, like whensomebody's walking up to the
pitcher's mound or you know,just got that big award and
you're going up to accept it,what would be your walk-in song
(44:53):
as you're walking up in front ofeverybody?
Speaker 3 (44:56):
Oh my God, I have to be honest.
The first song that came to myhead is a Prince song.
Baby, I'm a star.
Yeah, I love it, I love it.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
Of course that's the song it's got to be.
What else could it be?
I love that.
I love it.
Of course that's the song it'sgot to be.
What else could it be?
I love that.
Okay, what book changed you?
Speaker 3 (45:17):
Oh, what book changed me?
Yeah, great question, the bookthat changed me.
Well, currently I'm listeningto it and it's called Black AF
History.
Yes, and it is changing meright now.
So I'm listening to it andrealizing all the things I
didn't learn when I was growingup.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
Okay, that's on my list.
That's actually so I need todig in too, okay.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
Awesome, awesome.
What movie lives rent free inyour brain?
Speaker 3 (45:48):
What movie lives rent free?
Devil we wears.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
Prada, that is a good one.
Speaker 1 (45:54):
Okay, what did you love doing as a kid that you
love doing to this day?
Speaker 3 (46:01):
Dancing.
Speaker 2 (46:02):
Okay, cool, yes, and we didn't get to talk about the
cheerleading, and I want to knowmore about that too.
So what?
What in your world is lightingyou up right now?
Speaker 3 (46:15):
My kids, watching them thrive in their moments
right now.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
Yeah, they're all in that young adult space.
They're really becoming thosepeople.
Speaker 3 (46:26):
Yeah, I like looking at what are y'all going to do.
Very cool.
What's next?
Speaker 1 (46:32):
I love that, I love that.
I love that.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
What color is hope?
Yellow, nice.
And what does hope sound like?
Oh, wow, I like that.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
Yes, oh, we've never had anybody articulate it like
that I love, that I like it Allright, so complete this
statement.
Speaker 3 (47:02):
Showing up is Showing up is Important yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
Amen.
Another fill in the blank Loveis love is easy.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
Oh, that's nice.
Well, I'm going to sit withthat.
I'm writing that one down too.
Love is easy.
Oh my goodness, if we'd onlyall just remember that, right.
Okay, so, sis, you said youwanted to hear more about it, so
let's do this.
Cheerleading is.
Speaker 3 (47:43):
Cheerleading is fun.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
Let's do a quick little segue.
How did you get intocheerleading?
How did you get into that world?
Speaker 3 (47:51):
I got into cheerleading because I started
with dance and I did dance, Idid drill team, all like my
little young years.
And then I went to high schoolschool for the arts in Dallas
and my freshman year I tookdance, modern ballet, jazz, tap,
all of that.
And then my family is such asports family.
(48:11):
I wanted to go to a school thathad sports and the school of
arts did not.
So I transferred to high schoolin Dallas and I got there and
my sophomore year I did nothing.
I was like I gotta do something, like what am I gonna do?
And I had taken gymnastics,like in third grade, and I knew
how to do a back handspring, ohwow.
And so I don't even know how Idug that back up because it was
third grade.
And I knew how to do a backhandspring, oh wow.
(48:32):
And so I don't even know how Idug that back up because it was
third grade.
And then I mean that's a long,yeah, yeah but then I like, well
, I guess I'll try out for cheerthen.
What else am I gonna do is so Imade the team my junior year,
so I cheered my junior year andmy senior year, then realized
that I loved it.
So I went to college.
(48:53):
I cheered in college, then Istarted teaching summer camps
out here in California, which ishow I got transplanted to
California.
But I just kept doing it andthen I transitioned into
coaching and I worked for thecompany that I taught for in
marketing for many, many yearsand I still just loved it.
(49:13):
I loved the skill inaccomplishing things.
But then I also loved how, whenI was teaching a camp one time
we're in a big circle I had abig circle of kids around me and
I was teaching them a skill.
Basically, there's a girl inthe air and she twists and they
catch her.
So twist cradles.
I taught an entire group how todo that and I was looking
(49:34):
around and so many of them werejumping up and down and they had
never done it before and I'mlike I did that.
So that's when I realized Iloved coaching and so I coached
at Santa Margarita High Schoolin South Orange County.
I coached at UCLA, I coached atMt SAC, I coached Diamond Bar
High School, so I coached at allthese different schools and
(49:56):
just enjoyed it and I tried toget away from it.
And my friends keep calling mecan you come judge, can you come
teach?
And so I'm just, I keep gettingpulled back in and I don't say
no because obviously I like it.
Speaker 1 (50:09):
Yeah, that's a win-win coaching for sure.
And then you didn't say but Ijust discovered in your bio that
you shared that you've alsobeen in a number of films, all
because of cheerleading.
Speaker 3 (50:23):
When I started working for the United States
Association, a friend of mine,tony Gonzalez, was a
choreographer and he wasconnected with the movie
industry so he was always castfilming or casting for the
cheerleading roles.
So I was in Bring it On Againand I was in the Hot Chick and
(50:43):
so at the cheerleadingcompetition I was on one of the
teams competing and also was inSky High.
I don't know if you've seenthat movie, but they're the
superheroes.
So Penny the cheerleader whomultiplied, I was one of her.
I'm a Penny double.
Speaker 1 (51:00):
That's so cool.
Speaker 3 (51:01):
I mean that's just fun.
Speaker 1 (51:04):
So you are a Texas girl through and through.
But that's a total Californiagirl thing to do to do all the
films right so speaking to yourworld today, okay, so I got us
off track in our little question, but thank you, let me follow
that, yep, so.
Speaker 2 (51:20):
So let's get back to our our fill in the blank then.
Speaker 3 (51:23):
So the meaning of life is the meaning of life is
to go with the flow.
Speaker 1 (51:37):
The thing you'd most like to be remembered for is he
loved life.
Speaker 3 (51:44):
It was fun.
Speaker 2 (51:46):
Yeah, yeah, and our last one hope is hope is hope is
powerful powerful.
Speaker 1 (51:59):
Yeah, there you go beautiful thank you so much for
joining us for this time thankyou so much.
Speaker 3 (52:09):
I am so honored to have been asked and get to share
my story and get revived aboutgetting this book together.
Speaker 1 (52:16):
Yeah, the world needs that book and your story for
sure.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
And where can people, if they want to find Coconut
and the Orange Cat, where canthey find that?
Where can they find more aboutyou and your books coming, if
you have anything that you wantto share?
Speaker 3 (52:33):
Okay, yeah, I'm on Instagram and so I announced my
things on there.
I'm on the underscore K,underscore Roberts, and I also.
Amazon has my Coconut firstedition right now, so once I get
it published again, I'll getthe second edition up, so maybe
they want to wait just a littlebit before they order the book.
(52:54):
But, yeah, I'm on Instagram,I'm on Facebook, of course, and
I have a website,rhondakrobertscom, which is in
process of opening back up, butyes, Perfect.
Speaker 1 (53:06):
This will be an inspiration to make that happen.
Speaker 3 (53:09):
Yes, yeah, yes.
Speaker 1 (53:11):
Perfect.
Thank you, my friend.
This was just beautiful, justbeautiful.
I really appreciate you.
Speaker 3 (53:16):
Thank you so much.
Yeah, thank you, thank you, Ireally enjoyed it.
Speaker 2 (53:20):
I appreciated this time to get to know you a little
bit, Rhonda, and I wish youluck.
I can't wait to see the rest ofthe story for Coconut.
I am a huge dog fan, soanything with dogs I'm all for
that.
Speaker 1 (53:33):
You'll love this sweet book.
Speaker 3 (53:35):
All right, thank you so much Thank you have a great
rest of your day.
Speaker 2 (53:39):
You too, stay well Bye.
Thanks for joining us today onSoul Sisteries and thanks for
sharing stories with us.
Speaker 1 (53:47):
We'd love to hear your stories as well and keep
the conversation going,absolutely keeping the hope
going.
So we're really hopeful thatyou'll connect with our guests
as well, who have great storiesto share.
Go ahead and follow them invarious social media platforms
or live venues, wherever it isthat they're performing and
(54:08):
sharing what they do.
Speaker 2 (54:10):
We would love to have you follow us on all of our
social media platforms,subscribe and rate, as that will
help us get our message of hopeout to others.
Thanks for listening to Soul.
Speaker 1 (54:20):
Sisteries.
Welcome to Soul Sisteries.
Hey everyone, we had just afabulous conversation with a
sweet friend of mine, RhondaRoberts, and now I'm just
delighted for everyone to get toknow her and what she's all
about.
She has some real wisdom toshare and such a great heart.
(00:26):
Wasn't that a fun talk?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
It was a great talk and now of course, I've got a
list of music and books andmovies to watch, so I've got to
get going on that.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Yeah, we're going to start with Prince, right?
Yeah, find out all about it.
Listen in everybody.
Yes, we are here with thelovely and wonderful friend of
mine, rhonda Roberts.
I'm so glad to know Rhonda andhave her in my world.
(00:59):
She came to my world throughtheater and her daughter and you
know the kids' world, but I'vereally appreciated getting to
know Rhonda since that time andthrough that and I'm just so
delighted that everybody's goingto be able to hear her story.
Rhonda is a born and bred Texasgirl who is now out here in
(01:22):
California.
She has a deep and rich historyin the world of cheerleading,
both as a cheerleader and as acoach, a trainer, choreographer,
all of that wonderful stuff andshe carries that with her to
this day.
She has a beautiful, extended,lovely, wonderful family.
Also, throughout her familyjourney has experienced a lot of
(01:44):
deep and early loss.
That has informed a lot ofwhere she is today and I know
she's going to talk to us aboutit.
One of the things I love aboutRhonda and is so clear
throughout her story and I knowit's going to come up now as we
speak with her is that you knowRhonda's hope through that we're
talking about here is showingup hope through showing up, and
(02:06):
it's what Rhonda does again andagain, and again in her life.
She keeps showing up in big,bold and beautiful ways.
So Rhonda welcome to SoulfulHistory.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Wow, what an introduction.
Thank you so much.
I'm like.
Is she talking about me?
Speaker 1 (02:23):
I'm like is she talking about me A hundred
percent?
And so so easy?
I really do admire you and yourspirit, your energy and your
just willingness to jump in anddo the thing to extend yourself,
to expand yourself, something Iadmire in my sister here as
well.
She does that as well and Ijust honor and admire that so
(02:44):
much in wonderful, beautiful,strong women in the world.
So thank you for sharing yourstory.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
And I just want to say welcome Rhonda, and I don't
know if we've met before, maybethrough theater, but I don't
know, I've been around a lot.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
You were probably sitting in the same audience at
some point, Right right?
Speaker 2 (03:03):
But I've certainly heard your name and I've heard
about your book and I've heardabout your cheerleading and all
of that over the years.
So I'm looking forward to kindof hearing your story and
knowing more about you and justkind of learning it all.
So I guess, if it's all right,we'd like to just say can you
tell us kind of what got youhere?
(03:24):
And that's a crazy question,Like okay, you turned on the
video and you're here today,right.
But I mean, what got you tothis point where we're asking
you to share your story with us?
Because we are interested inhope in all forms and wherever
it comes from.
And I work a lot in grief andloss and I do understand that
(03:46):
that is part of your earlyjourney in life, and so I guess
I would just kind of like tohear what you want to share with
us about where you've been andwhere you are today, if you can.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Oh, that is a great question because it makes me
reflect on how I got here andthe reason I am in this spot
right now is because I got olderand matured and realized that I
was learning about my wholeprocess with dealing with grief
and loss.
And I mean it was hundreds andhundreds of YouTube videos of
(04:25):
dealing with death and dying andnear-death experiences where I
just started to realize theprocess that I had gone through.
And I looked back on all thelosses that I had in my life and
realized in the very beginningI was just, I was unclear, I was
young.
I lost my grandmother when Iwas 10 years old and I remember
(04:47):
sitting in the church with mymom.
We were on the third pew.
I could see the casket was alittle slightly off to my right
and I said, mom, she's going toget up.
She's like, no, she's not baby.
And I'm like, yes, she is,she's going to get up.
Because I had no concept ofsomebody just laying there, my
(05:10):
grandmother, who was active inmy life.
It just made zero sense to meand I remember because I was in
Kilgore, texas, where thefuneral was.
I remember driving back home toDallas, which was about an hour
and a half drive and looking outthe window at the stars, the
entire time just trying to makesense of what happened to her,
(05:30):
like I don't understand.
And I remember being upset,before we left with my
grandfather, with the responsewhen someone asked him how are
you doing?
He said well, I'm still living.
I got offended about that.
I'm like how could he say I'mstill living, you know?
And she thought he didn't meanit that way.
But I remember those were myfirst like really strong
(05:51):
feelings, like how could he saythat?
You know she's gone now, butanyway, that was the first point
of loss experience for me and Ijust remember being really,
really confused.
You know, I would move forwardand I lost my uncle, my mom's
brother, to a heart attack.
I didn't have a lot of memorieswith him because he was a truck
(06:12):
driver, so he was always on theroad, but I remember seeing her
sadness and just again it tookme back to that like why did
this have to happen?
I don't understand this.
Why are people here and thenthey're gone?
And then I lost mygreat-grandmother on my dad's
(06:35):
side and all the things.
It was like a year would go byand then I would lose someone
else, ultimate confusion.
And then it wasn't until I gotto my sophomore year in college
when I lost my father, where Iwas like, okay, I need to
understand this.
And that's when I grabbed everybook I could find on loss and
just reading and trying tounderstand where do we go, what
(06:58):
happens, why is this happening?
Why do I have to lose someoneso important to me, you know,
and so that was my thirst forknowledge.
So I went from not knowingcompletely to I have to
understand this process, likewhat is going on.
It needed to make sense to me.
When he was he had had cancer.
(07:19):
He was diagnosed with cancer in1991.
And my dad was very active.
He would go to games.
He was a sports writer, so hewrote for a newspaper, so he
would go to high school footballgames and high school track
meets and that was his focus washigh school, so he would show
up at my games because I was acheerleader and he would show up
(07:42):
and just he was.
You know, my parents weredivorced but he was present.
So anyway, he was diagnosedwith cancer in 91 and didn't
occur.
I mean, I was sad.
I'm like, oh my gosh, I was sadbut didn't occur to me that he
wasn't going to make it Likejust thought people beat this,
they will get through it.
And he did.
(08:03):
He went through his treatments,got better and then, towards
November of 92, he startedgetting worse and went back and
went to the hospital and they itbasically was Christmas break
and they were like he was in thehospital and then he had to end
up in ICU.
And there we were and I'mbegging him, please don't go.
(08:26):
I want you to be here, I wantyou to see me graduate, I want
you to walk me down the aisle,all these things.
And that's when I firstexperienced timelessness.
I remember being in the roomwith him and I just was sitting
by his side and he tried to openhis eyes and they were
bloodshot.
(08:46):
I totally remember that.
And we were taking turnsrotating in the room.
His then wife was going to comein after us.
My aunt, his sister, was therealso.
I was in there with my brotherand I'm talking to him Please
don't leave, don't go, don't go.
I mean that was constant.
And they came into the room.
They were like you guys need togo get some food or something.
(09:09):
He apparently had been in therefor two hours.
I thought I had been in therefor 15 minutes.
I mean, it really honestly feltlike 15 minutes and we left.
And shortly after we left andgot home, and shortly after we
left and got home, we were toldthat he was transitioning.
So from that lesson I had to golearn about why we leave.
(09:39):
Well, fast forward to myfather-in-law passing.
We all were gathered at hishome, which was great.
His birthday is on October 11th, his birthday is on October
11th, my son is on October 7th,mine is on October 13th.
So we always had familygatherings during that time to
celebrate the three birthdays.
Well, he had been put onhospice the day before, in his
(10:00):
home home hospice, and we wereall gathered around him and I
had never experienced a losslike this.
We're all gathered around him,we're talking about our favorite
moments with him, we're singingsongs and making jokes about
ourselves because he was in thechoir.
We're like we know we don'tsound as good as you think you
(10:21):
used to, but it was really abeautiful moment.
I had never experienced thatkind of transitioning before,
and after we did that, we sanghappy birthday to him and
everybody left the room and Istayed in there and, you know,
the nurse had just kind ofwarned us and said you know
(10:42):
things are shutting down.
And I said to him, I whisperedin his ear, I said, dad, you've
done an amazing job.
Thank you so much foreverything.
I'm so grateful to have gottento know you and I totally
learned that from all the videosand things that I listened to
about what you say to those thatare transitioning.
You don't want to make themfeel like they have to hold on
(11:05):
when it's their time and I justyou know it's hard to say, you
know, go ahead and go, becauseyou don't want them and but it's
, it was time.
And he literally left on hisbirthday, which I thought was so
cool.
I'm like he just tidiedeverything up and on October
11th and out on October 11th,and that was the first time that
(11:26):
I had this lightness about atransition.
I mean, everybody else was sad,so I have to be careful, but I
was like this was time for him.
You know the other.
I mean I'm still talking.
Y'all better stop.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
No, you're good and we're listening.
Yeah, so please continue.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
She's the matriarch of the family and part of my
growing up.
My mom had six sisters and sohuge family fun, chaotic family
gatherings, but Aunt Betty wasthe matriarch.
She was the one that would pulleverybody together.
We'd all be at Cramden andBetty's small house on Super
Bowl Sundays and running out ofthe front yard screaming how
(12:15):
about those Cowboys?
And she was the one.
So when my daughter Aaliyah wasyoung my mom lives with us she
would take the kids back toTexas to visit her family during
the summer sometimes.
So Aaliyah was about two whenshe took her back to Dallas and
(12:38):
stayed at Aunt Betty's house.
And it started where I woulddrive.
I had an hour 15 minute commuteto and from work, so I would
call on the way home just how'severybody doing, how you know.
So I would talk to her and itbecame a time where Aaliyah
would be attacking Aunt BettyLike I don't know why she's
gullying me today, but we'refighting and it was like a daily
(13:00):
thing and so I would hear allthe stories.
And you know Aunt Betty, I lovethat Aunt Betty and Aaliyah was
.
They were getting to bond andso fast, forward Aaliyah's back
home Shortly after that.
I just kept calling her on theway home, just talking to her.
And so two or three months go by, after Aaliyah came back, and
(13:22):
she, she says she tells me thatshe's diagnosed with cancer.
Again, I love that.
Everybody people beat thiswe're.
You know she's gonna be fine,she's strong.
You know she talks to me, shewould have treatments.
We would still have ourconversations.
She didn't sound like she wasweak or hurting, but she, she
(13:43):
started telling me things likeher friends that are, you know,
calling me.
I didn't even know I affectedtheir lives that way, but people
were starting to reach out toher because they had learned of
her diagnosis and they just weretelling her how much they
appreciated her and the change,the differences she made in
their lives.
And she's telling me all thesethings Again.
(14:04):
I'm still clueless.
I'm like she's going to be this.
We'll be at her house next year.
You know this is what I'mthinking.
So this is towards the end ofthe year.
I think it was 2009,.
End of 2009.
So Leah was about two.
She was born in 07.
So end of 2009,.
She's going through hertreatment and all this we get
(14:26):
into the next year.
She's still.
She hasn't gone in remission oranything, but she's still
dealing with it.
And March of 2010,.
She says to me and I'm drivingto a cheerleading competition,
getting ready to go to work fora big three-day event and she
says to me, rhonda, I'm tired,and I hear it and I just I I
(14:51):
didn't know how to control itthen, but I was like anybody
don't talk like that, you'regonna beat this.
Have we tried everything?
You gotta do this, this andthis.
And because I totally heard it,I heard it in her voice and so
she then told my mom that I wasupset with her and I didn't want
her to feel that way, but sheknew she could hear it.
(15:13):
So probably about a month no,three weeks after that, she got
put into hospice and I stilltalked to her and she passed.
And, surprisingly, when shepassed, I was lifted.
I felt lifted.
(15:34):
I grieved the day she told meshe was tired.
And so at the funeral, which ispacked all our family, all
these people they had me speakand because I was probably the
only one of the grandkids andthe nieces that could even
(15:54):
function up there, because I wasable to have had those moments
with her, and that's when Ilearned it is so important to
talk to the people that you love, tell them that you love them,
because when they're not there,like I saw my cousins, just they
were unconsolable because theyhadn't had the chance to talk to
(16:15):
her.
They hadn't.
You know, life happens and youdon't talk to your aunts every
day, you move away, you don'tsee them.
But me, having us, having hadthat, she would.
I would get home and she waslike, okay, your co-pilot is
signing out.
You know, we had that bondevery day and I felt good about
her transition because I knewpeople loved her.
(16:37):
She knew people loved her.
We had shared thoseconversations and this is the
real kicker, you guys, I this ishow you kicker, you guys, this
is how you know that they arearound us, even after they
transition.
Because when I would drive home, sometimes I was sharing with
her.
This girl, aaliyah, will not goto bed at night.
I don't know how she's such anight owl.
(16:58):
And so my aunt would be like,well, try this, try this, try
this.
And I'm like nothing.
And keep in mind, aaliyah, atthis point, is not even three
yet she might be right at threewhen she passes.
Yeah, she had just turned threeand so she's talking a little
(17:19):
bit, so probably about a monthor maybe three weeks after she
passed.
Aaliyah gets up and she saysMommy, I saw Aunt Betty and I'm
like, okay, you did.
What did she say?
She said I love you.
Now go to sleep.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
I mean that still gives me chills.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
That still gives me chills, because how would the
baby know?
How would she know that thatwas the conversation?
Because Aunt Betty told her.
So you know the experience I'vehad with that and loss, and the
comfort I have in knowing thatthey're around us and it's
loving and they want us to dowell, what I would love to do is
(18:05):
in a book that I'm eventuallygoing to get.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Yes, you are, yes, you are, yes, you are.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Yes you are.
And to show my transitionbetween my loss, to help people
realize okay, you might not knowin the beginning, then you
might have this realization andthen you do have this acceptance
.
And the last thing people thatare loved ones want us to do
when they transition is to spendour lives in a constant state
(18:31):
of grace.
That is the last thing theywant us to do.
So but then my other thing isis I'm a cheerleader.
So I want to write a book aboutgrief, but I'm a cheerleader.
Like how does that even mix?
Like who's going to?
Speaker 2 (18:47):
You know what, though ?
I absolutely love that, becauseone of the things that I had a
hard time with in my journey isthe acceptance of this deep,
deep grief and loss could liveright next to this joy and love
and hope, and it was such aweird thing to learn that both
(19:10):
exist at the same time.
You go through the journey andyou're grieving, but then you're
smiling and people are like, oh, you're doing great,
everything's so good, right, andit's like, no, this thing is
beautiful and happy and thisstill exists, and so I love that
idea, and I don't know what itis.
Is it a cheerleader who goesthrough it?
Is it, you know, finding hopethrough cheer when this stuff is
(19:33):
going on?
But I see that they do liveright next to each other, so I
absolutely love that.
Yeah, that is a great point.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
That's a great point, yeah, and, rhonda, you know, I
think your story definitelydeserves to be told.
Thank you for sharing with mean earlier draft of what you
were thinking about and what youwant to do, but I think there
is for sure a place out there inthe world.
And what I love particularly,rhonda, that you're talking
about yes, you're talking aboutus going on after and you're
(20:09):
talking about embracing the lifethat you have, but being really
intentional around thetransition, really intentional
around that passage here and now, not just jumping into the
after and not avoiding it, butembracing that.
This is an absolutely real,undeniable part of life.
There's nobody who is gettingout of this existence without
(20:30):
that.
That is there for us all, andso how do we face it and meet it
and embrace it in healthy andmeaningful ways?
And you're being so intentionalabout that and not a lot of
people talk about that so thatyou are bringing that forward, I
think is really important andworthwhile, and all of your
(20:53):
journeys through them.
You have so much to say and somuch to offer, and we know that
you, of course, miss your peopleand we wish that our people
were here now experiencing thesethings in life with us in the
same ways that we know, and it'sgreat to know that they are
(21:17):
where they are now.
But really being intentionalthrough that time, I just think
that's so incredibly meaningful.
I know I just said a lot, butthat's such an important point.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Yeah, you know, after my dad passed, I realized I was
carrying his loss for a verylong time.
On Christmas Day.
He left on Christmas Day, so itwas one day.
It was a Christmas morning andI was walking down the stairs.
(21:50):
Aaliyah was a babe in arms andit was I don't know what it was
in that moment, but it was likeRhonda, let go of this, because
my kids, I know they can senseit.
It wasn't like I'll be in thecorner crying or you know super
sad, but it was something insideme that was like I'm sad, you
know, and one of my really goodgirlfriends I guess she's kind
(22:15):
of the one who initiated thisbecause she was, I felt her like
trying to take me back downthat path.
She was like I know, this is ahard time of the year for you
and you know, being a friend andtrying to be understanding.
And then I heard myself in thatmoment going I don't want that
to be.
I don't want to have myChristmas be a hard time every
year because my dad wouldn'twant that.
(22:36):
So she doesn't really say thatanymore, but it was kind of that
comment that triggered me going.
I don't want to have thatlooming over me looming over me.
So it's also me realizing howto again find the joy in
(22:58):
existence without that humanexistence that I once wanted to
be around, and I get sad.
I would get sad because my dadwill not meet his grandkids.
I would love for them to havebeen in his presence, but that's
not the way it works out.
He sees them, he's proud ofthem, he's proud of me, and I
(23:20):
just have to accept that it's inanother form.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Yeah, absolutely that's true, See, sis, this is
you see why.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
I asked Ronda to come on and talk with us, yeah.
Yeah, and I'm sure you probablyknow, ronda, our stories cross
a little bit in that, you know,I lost my husband when the
children were, you know, 10thand 12th grade, so just a little
younger than you were when youlost your father.
And so I'm looking, you know, atmy loss, but also the loss for
(23:50):
my children not having their dadwith them through this journey.
So it's yeah, it's definitelyan experience.
I want to ask because, donna,I'm sure you know this, but you
talked about wanting to writethis other book, and I know you
shared that a book is coming outsoon and maybe a coloring book
with it, but you do have a bookout already and I want to hear
(24:12):
what that.
I know the name Coconut and theOrange Cat, but I want to know
what it's about.
I haven't read it, but Idefinitely want to.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
So yeah, coconut and the Orange Cat.
It kind of came on by a whimand we'd had a little white
Maltese named Coconut.
My husband and I it was likereally before the kids came
around, that was our littlechild and Coconut loved this
little toy orange cat which wereally don't know where it came
from.
We took it to the vet one timeand I think it was a leftover
(24:40):
toy and they just sent it homewith her.
She loved that cat.
So jokingly my husband and Isaid Coconut and the orange cat.
I'm like that kind of soundslike a book and that sat for
years and then one day while Iwas sitting here I just like, oh
, remember Coconut and theOrange Cat.
I think we should just go aheadand write that book.
(25:01):
I literally like came up withan idea to use the story to
teach colors to children butalso bring in the element of
finding joy within to children.
But also bring in the elementof finding joy within.
So Coconut and Orange Cat isthe story about this little girl
who has a dog named Coconut.
Alani is the little girl andAlani is actually my niece.
(25:22):
Coconut's her pet and shenoticed that Coconut's sad so
she's trying everything she cando to go to this pet store and
find a toy that will makecoconut happy and coconut just
is never happy with any of theirtoys.
Um, and it goes through all thecolors.
She goes to the store.
She finds a blue fish.
She finds something.
(25:43):
Wait, what is it?
She finds a.
She finds a blue fish.
She finds a purple ball.
She finds actually it's abluebird.
She finds a purple ball.
She finds actually it's a bluebird.
She finds a green lizard.
This is the best.
And so none of those work.
And then she's sitting on thebed.
She's like I pretty much Idon't know what to do.
And then Coconut noticesthere's an orange.
(26:04):
She notices under the tablethat there's the toy and she
gets happy and she finds the joy.
But the concept is that joy wasinside the whole time, so you
didn't have to go outside to getit.
The joy was inside.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
I love that and it's that piece of showing up right
that like the joy is there, evenif it's dormant, like you don't
know it's there, but by showingup it can come out, which is
huge, Very important.
So children's book, but hassome great value for adults also
(26:40):
, I think.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Right, and then your coloring book that you're
working on is a companion rightto the coconut book.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
Yes, it's basically the visuals in the coconut and
orange cat.
It's basically the visuals inthe coconut and orange cat and
they can color the pages in thatso sweet.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
So here's the thing.
We have to say it also.
So I mean, you know that I'malso a children's book author
and I've had the opportunity topublish quite a bit and I have
many people in my world who comeup and talk about this idea
they have for a children's book.
Everybody is a children's bookauthor in their own mind, but it
is few and far between rightwho actually do the thing and
(27:19):
then do the work to publish thebook, have it published and
really make it come to fruition.
A lot of people just wantsomebody to wave that magic wand
for them like you just did it.
You just did it and you'redoing second edition now.
That's so.
All of that is then to ask aquestion what is that thing
(27:43):
within you?
What do you attribute that tothat you do keep showing up and
you do keep just puttingyourself out there and making
the things happen, becauseyou're human.
You, you have fears likeeveryone, insecurities like
everyone.
What, what allows you to moveforward?
(28:03):
And what about you does that?
Speaker 3 (28:07):
I think the first thing I want to say is that I
like the challenge and I think Ilike the accomplishment of it
when it's done.
But I thought for the book thatit was really important for me
to, I guess, just do what I saidI was going to do.
And I'm like, ok, I said I wasgoing to do this, I'm going to
(28:29):
do it.
I just think the challengesthat present themselves to me
like I can handle that, and thenI go for it and I do it.
But I also thought the storywas important to get out and so
I wanted to finish.
Finish that I also want to bean example.
(28:50):
Now that I have kids, I alsowant to be an example to them.
Like, do what you say you'regoing to do.
But I think even before thenI've always felt like, ooh, I
can do that.
And then I just want to get itdone Now, following up on it and
making sure I'm marketing anddoing all the extra stuff, like
(29:12):
that there's a little bit of alag, but I just like the, I like
feeling accomplished and I likehelping people in the process.
So I guess that's kind of theanswer.
I don't know.
I feel like there might besomething deeper to it, but I
know initially, initially, if Isee something, oh, I can do that
(29:34):
, then I just I want to go forit and I want to get it done.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Yeah, it's just in you.
Did you have as a kid?
Were there particular people inyour world who kind of modeled
that for you or as you thinkabout, kind of you observed and
took that in?
Speaker 3 (29:56):
observed and took that in.
I guess wait, when you saidthat I mean my parents.
That's a good, that's a reallygood question.
I think the biggest time that Ifelt that accomplishment
feeling is I was the first oneto finish college, bravo, and
(30:17):
like out of all the grandkids Iwas the first one to go, and I
was the first one not the firstone to go, but I was the first
one to actually finish.
It took me five years but I didit.
That's okay.
And I think when I had thesupport of the family I had, my
grandparents came, I had a big,huge group that came down to
support my finishing and I thinkthat was a big thing to me.
(30:43):
Like I've never even reallysaid that out loud, but I
remember that feeling of I didthis and look at my family here
to support me, like I feelbeautiful.
Like I'm so accomplished.
So I think that was a bigdriving force for me.
And when I was younger, likeschool years, I've always had
this motivation to do well.
(31:04):
I don't even know why.
My mom never put like superfear in me, but I always wanted
to get good grades.
I always wanted to.
I'm like I got to have perfectattendance.
I don't even know where thatcame from, but I just wanted to
do well when I was in school.
I don't know where that drivecame from, to be honest, it was
(31:24):
just there.
But I think the biggest turningpoint was when I graduated
college and felt really goodabout that.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yeah, that's wonderful and it sounds like
having that robust support.
I mean it really does matter,right that we've got that in our
world.
Just one quick little story ofmy own I can remember, as you
were talking about thegraduation, when I graduated
high school, my sisters and Iall went to this parochial
(31:53):
college, prep girls' school andour two older sisters had gone
there and they had made theirown choices about school and
their journey.
And I went through and at thegraduation ceremony I was given
the top honor that the schoolhad to offer and that was lovely
.
But the loveliest thing and oh,I feel it to this day is just
(32:16):
seared in my memory and I tookwith me was walking back up the
aisle and those two oldersisters standing there and
cheering and the looks on theirfaces, that support, that
embrace and their celebration ofit.
Just I mean, I feel that tothis moment.
Yeah, yeah, how exceptional itis to this moment.
Speaker 3 (32:33):
Yeah, yeah, how exceptional.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
it is to have that so thank you, that's awesome,
thank you for jogging thatmemory.
That's awesome.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
And listening to both of you and going back to that
showing up thing, I'm thinkingof all the videos that you see
online now that talk about howimportant it is to show up.
You know, and you see thelittle kids on the school stage
performing and looking for mom,dad, whoever and then you see
the doctor at graduation, withthe older man who's sitting
(33:03):
there and he's looking, and whenhe sees his family he gets all
excited, right, because theyshowed up and it's just, it's a
reminder of how important it isto show up.
You know, for others, foryourself, just and I'm getting
teary, but that is where hopecomes from is just showing up,
(33:26):
and I think that is reallyimportant.
All of this and people showingup for you and you showing up
for yourself and clearly forothers.
Who is it that inspires you inyour life when you were younger?
Today, just, who are yourinspirations?
Who inspires me?
Speaker 3 (33:47):
um, that's a great question.
I look to a lot of people forinspiration, the people that can
get on any social mediaplatform and tell their real
story, like the ugly, gritty,dirty ones that I don't want to
come out and say happened in mylife.
I think that's really inspiringbecause it helps other people
(34:23):
see that they are not you know.
Oh, they're going through thesame.
I think that's so inspiringbecause it's all about helping
other people.
Yeah, and you know, we alldon't want to be condemned for
doing what we did and thechoices we made, but for someone
to come out and share theirstory, I think that's amazing.
(34:43):
I think that's inspiring.
Now on the artist side, princeis an inspiration to me.
Today is his birthday, by theway, Happy birthday side.
Prince is an inspiration to meand today is his birthday, by
the way, happy birthday.
And I just I was amazed, like Ilove his music, I thought he
was so cute when I was younger,but really I just thought the
(35:03):
way that he has been able toconnect to his source and pull
the creativity and I think thatis so inspiring and amazing.
I want to tap into that.
Like, can I please tap intowhatever that is I'm supposed to
be tapping into?
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Yeah, that artistry is definitely on a spiritual
plane, for sure, using everypart of him.
But tapping into all that is,I'm just saying that.
That just blows my mind.
Blows my mind, I mean, there'sa song.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
I heard not too long ago that I didn't know he did,
and I am a huge Prince fan.
I'm like that.
Man has so many songs and haswritten for so many people.
Where did all that come from?
He just tapped in and was ableto create all that he did.
I mean, he was amazing.
So that's really trulyinspiring to me.
(36:24):
Rhonda when you look back tothat kid that you were sort of
let's think about that tween,maybe 12, 13, around that age,
and what you were doing and whoyou were then.
And if that girl was seeingwhere you are today and looking
at you now, what would she say?
She was saying you're doinggood, but you can do better, oh,
oh, better, oh, oh oh.
I remember feeling like I'munstoppable at that age.
You know, I felt like I can doanything.
Right now I'm not complaining.
(36:48):
I'm very grateful for where Iam, what I have, my family, who
I'm surrounded with.
I feel like there's more.
There's that book in there,there's more in here to do.
But she would say to me you'redoing good, you have a nice life
, but you can do more.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
Do you think and this just leads me to this other
question Do?
Speaker 3 (37:25):
you think and this just leads me to this other
question do you think yourresearch into an awareness of
death and that role in our lives, do you think that that also
informs how you choose to live?
Oh, absolutely Absolutely.
And another loss to talk aboutthat I lost my oldest brother
(37:46):
maybe three years ago.
I think it was three years ago.
Unfortunately, he was a littleestranged from the family
because I believe and I don'tknow, I'm not a doctor but I
believe there was some kind ofbipolar or something going on to
the point to where it wasalmost violent.
So we were great growing up.
I looked up to him growing up.
He was super smart.
He could take a computer apartand put it back together before
(38:09):
that was even really a thing,really smart.
But as he got older he just hewas like very argumentative,
he'd be nice one minute and thenupset and angry and ready to
fight the next.
So he comes out here.
He came out here.
(38:29):
He has two sons.
One of his sons, brett, liveshere and has children.
Well, frederick is his name.
He came out, and he was livingwith Brett for a little bit of
time Before he left Dallas,though, to come out here, he had
injured our other brother,stopped him from working, just
(38:50):
caused problems, and then hemoved out here.
Brett, let him live with him,kind of started some issues and
God rest his soul.
I just my heart hurts because Ijust wish things could have
been different.
I don't know, he didn't want tolive in a shelter, so he was
(39:16):
living in a tent and Brett endedup finding him and I was hurt
because we didn't have therelationship and he didn't have
the relationship with my family,with my kids, that I would have
loved and I loved him very much.
(39:40):
But I, just when I lost my dadand even friends that I've I've
known that I've lost I had agreater sense of loss.
But because we were estranged,it was kind of like I hadn't
seen him.
You know I'm sad for thatbecause I don't have.
Anyway, my point to the, myanswer to the question, is that
(40:04):
yes, I want to live a life wherepeople feel like I've shown up
for them, I've paid attention tothem, I've paid attention to
them, I've been empathetic tothem.
I you know that's.
I mean it's a genuine feeling.
I'm not doing it just so I canget accolades after my
(40:24):
transition but I want to show upin people's lives and them have
a good feeling about me.
I want to have thatconversation, like my Aunt Betty
did, when people were callingher and they made these.
They were telling her all thegreat things that she did for
them.
So, yeah, I absolutely justknowing what I know.
Now, you know, I call, I'vestarted calling my family a
(40:47):
little bit more often and say,hey, how you're doing?
And you know we would go for amonth, maybe sometimes a year,
not talking to each other.
And I started to reach out tomy family and just hey, just
checking in, you know.
But yeah, it's definitelyaffected and changed how I live
day to day.
And you know experience lifewith my kids and you know talk
(41:09):
to them about they don't like.
When I bring up, though, whatto do with me.
Once I pass I'm like, look,don't put me in the ground and
then going back there becauseI'm not in there Right, taking
up land, space, you know, justpreeminent ocean.
Don't try to save any of myasses by carrying me around.
Don't do that.
I'm not in there.
(41:30):
Don't worry about all that.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
They don't want to talk about it, but they know.
I hear that, I hear that.
But what I also hear throughall of this is you're making a
choice to live veryintentionally, intentionally
with people around you,intentionally with how you live
your life.
Which gosh.
That is a message for us all,for sure.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
Well, and I think my question leading from that, and
I guess I could fill in theblanks myself but I wonder if
you have kind of like a motto ora life philosophy that you live
by.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
It's part of that showing up piece, I think, for
it's um, you're here, so why notgive it your 100?
Like what am I doing?
Like why are we halfway doingstuff?
Like, just do it to the fullest, like, whatever it is, you know
, and my kids are so chill andlaid back.
They're like why are you?
I'm like, let's go, let's,let's have the fun.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
Let's do the things.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
And you know, even with them they were so different
from me and I know kids aredifferent than their parents but
they just really didn'tparticipate in all the school
things, Like I had to push themlike go to that prom, Like go to
homecoming, Do the things, Justdo the things.
So I'm like you're here, I mean, do the things Right, Just do
the things.
So I'm like you're here, Justenjoy it.
(42:53):
That's what it's supposed to beabout.
What are we going to do?
Just sit around and lollygagand be the bump on the log.
Yeah, that's showing my age.
Bump on the log, that's such anold saying.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
I think we're all right there.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
You know what I meant , exactly, exactly Well, and
I've been so fortunate to beable to follow some of that
journey with your girl too, andher diving in and embracing
those things in her world.
You know, when we just did theWolves at the theater and she
took part in it, my gosh, I'm soproud of her.
(43:29):
And she went deep for that roleand just really took it on.
That was um, that one's gonnastay that was fun.
Speaker 3 (43:38):
Thank you for having her do that.
She, she was just like.
I don't want y'all to come seeme rehearse because she's a
little salty.
Her character is a little saltyin the language which is funny,
because that's not at all who?
Speaker 1 (43:53):
yeah, it is to embrace that character was a
kind of a kind of a hoot, uh,but yes, I was so authentic and
beautiful and that I didn'tdirect that show in.
It's our producer, kirk'sdaughter, marlee, who directed
Aaliyah in that show, but I'veloved watching Aaliyah through
(44:17):
these years and seeing her dowhat she does, so bravo.
Okay, sis, is this the time?
Should we jump into our rapidfire question?
I think so.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
You take it away, sis .
Okay, so we're going to justask these questions, don't spend
a lot of time thinking aboutthem, just kind of whatever
comes to you and no pressure,though.
Like if nothing comes to you,that's okay also.
But you know, like whensomebody's walking up to the
pitcher's mound or you know,just got that big award and
you're going up to accept it,what would be your walk-in song
(44:53):
as you're walking up in front ofeverybody?
Speaker 3 (44:56):
Oh my God, I have to be honest.
The first song that came to myhead is a Prince song.
Baby, I'm a star.
Yeah, I love it, I love it.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
Of course that's the song it's got to be.
What else could it be?
I love that.
I love it.
Of course that's the song it'sgot to be.
What else could it be?
I love that.
Okay, what book changed you?
Speaker 3 (45:17):
Oh, what book changed me?
Yeah, great question, the bookthat changed me.
Well, currently I'm listeningto it and it's called Black AF
History.
Yes, and it is changing meright now.
So I'm listening to it andrealizing all the things I
didn't learn when I was growingup.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
Okay, that's on my list.
That's actually so I need todig in too, okay.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
Awesome, awesome.
What movie lives rent free inyour brain?
Speaker 3 (45:48):
What movie lives rent free?
Devil we wears.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
Prada, that is a good one.
Speaker 1 (45:54):
Okay, what did you love doing as a kid that you
love doing to this day?
Speaker 3 (46:01):
Dancing.
Speaker 2 (46:02):
Okay, cool, yes, and we didn't get to talk about the
cheerleading, and I want to knowmore about that too.
So what?
What in your world is lightingyou up right now?
Speaker 3 (46:15):
My kids, watching them thrive in their moments
right now.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
Yeah, they're all in that young adult space.
They're really becoming thosepeople.
Speaker 3 (46:26):
Yeah, I like looking at what are y'all going to do.
Very cool.
What's next?
Speaker 1 (46:32):
I love that, I love that.
I love that.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
What color is hope?
Yellow, nice.
And what does hope sound like?
Oh, wow, I like that.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
Yes, oh, we've never had anybody articulate it like
that I love, that I like it Allright, so complete this
statement.
Speaker 3 (47:02):
Showing up is Showing up is Important yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
Amen.
Another fill in the blank Loveis love is easy.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
Oh, that's nice.
Well, I'm going to sit withthat.
I'm writing that one down too.
Love is easy.
Oh my goodness, if we'd onlyall just remember that, right.
Okay, so, sis, you said youwanted to hear more about it, so
let's do this.
Cheerleading is.
Speaker 3 (47:43):
Cheerleading is fun.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
Let's do a quick little segue.
How did you get intocheerleading?
How did you get into that world?
Speaker 3 (47:51):
I got into cheerleading because I started
with dance and I did dance, Idid drill team, all like my
little young years.
And then I went to high schoolschool for the arts in Dallas
and my freshman year I tookdance, modern ballet, jazz, tap,
all of that.
And then my family is such asports family.
(48:11):
I wanted to go to a school thathad sports and the school of
arts did not.
So I transferred to high schoolin Dallas and I got there and
my sophomore year I did nothing.
I was like I gotta do something, like what am I gonna do?
And I had taken gymnastics,like in third grade, and I knew
how to do a back handspring, ohwow.
And so I don't even know how Idug that back up because it was
third grade.
And I knew how to do a backhandspring, oh wow.
(48:32):
And so I don't even know how Idug that back up because it was
third grade.
And then I mean that's a long,yeah, yeah but then I like, well
, I guess I'll try out for cheerthen.
What else am I gonna do is so Imade the team my junior year,
so I cheered my junior year andmy senior year, then realized
that I loved it.
So I went to college.
(48:53):
I cheered in college, then Istarted teaching summer camps
out here in California, which ishow I got transplanted to
California.
But I just kept doing it andthen I transitioned into
coaching and I worked for thecompany that I taught for in
marketing for many, many yearsand I still just loved it.
(49:13):
I loved the skill inaccomplishing things.
But then I also loved how, whenI was teaching a camp one time
we're in a big circle I had abig circle of kids around me and
I was teaching them a skill.
Basically, there's a girl inthe air and she twists and they
catch her.
So twist cradles.
I taught an entire group how todo that and I was looking
(49:34):
around and so many of them werejumping up and down and they had
never done it before and I'mlike I did that.
So that's when I realized Iloved coaching and so I coached
at Santa Margarita High Schoolin South Orange County.
I coached at UCLA, I coached atMt SAC, I coached Diamond Bar
High School, so I coached at allthese different schools and
(49:56):
just enjoyed it and I tried toget away from it.
And my friends keep calling mecan you come judge, can you come
teach?
And so I'm just, I keep gettingpulled back in and I don't say
no because obviously I like it.
Speaker 1 (50:09):
Yeah, that's a win-win coaching for sure.
And then you didn't say but Ijust discovered in your bio that
you shared that you've alsobeen in a number of films, all
because of cheerleading.
Speaker 3 (50:23):
When I started working for the United States
Association, a friend of mine,tony Gonzalez, was a
choreographer and he wasconnected with the movie
industry so he was always castfilming or casting for the
cheerleading roles.
So I was in Bring it On Againand I was in the Hot Chick and
(50:43):
so at the cheerleadingcompetition I was on one of the
teams competing and also was inSky High.
I don't know if you've seenthat movie, but they're the
superheroes.
So Penny the cheerleader whomultiplied, I was one of her.
I'm a Penny double.
Speaker 1 (51:00):
That's so cool.
Speaker 3 (51:01):
I mean that's just fun.
Speaker 1 (51:04):
So you are a Texas girl through and through.
But that's a total Californiagirl thing to do to do all the
films right so speaking to yourworld today, okay, so I got us
off track in our little question, but thank you, let me follow
that, yep, so.
Speaker 2 (51:20):
So let's get back to our our fill in the blank then.
Speaker 3 (51:23):
So the meaning of life is the meaning of life is
to go with the flow.
Speaker 1 (51:37):
The thing you'd most like to be remembered for is he
loved life.
Speaker 3 (51:44):
It was fun.
Speaker 2 (51:46):
Yeah, yeah, and our last one hope is hope is hope is
powerful powerful.
Speaker 1 (51:59):
Yeah, there you go beautiful thank you so much for
joining us for this time thankyou so much.
Speaker 3 (52:09):
I am so honored to have been asked and get to share
my story and get revived aboutgetting this book together.
Speaker 1 (52:16):
Yeah, the world needs that book and your story for
sure.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
And where can people, if they want to find Coconut
and the Orange Cat, where canthey find that?
Where can they find more aboutyou and your books coming, if
you have anything that you wantto share?
Speaker 3 (52:33):
Okay, yeah, I'm on Instagram and so I announced my
things on there.
I'm on the underscore K,underscore Roberts, and I also.
Amazon has my Coconut firstedition right now, so once I get
it published again, I'll getthe second edition up, so maybe
they want to wait just a littlebit before they order the book.
(52:54):
But, yeah, I'm on Instagram,I'm on Facebook, of course, and
I have a website,rhondakrobertscom, which is in
process of opening back up, butyes, Perfect.
Speaker 1 (53:06):
This will be an inspiration to make that happen.
Speaker 3 (53:09):
Yes, yeah, yes.
Speaker 1 (53:11):
Perfect.
Thank you, my friend.
This was just beautiful, justbeautiful.
I really appreciate you.
Speaker 3 (53:16):
Thank you so much.
Yeah, thank you, thank you, Ireally enjoyed it.
Speaker 2 (53:20):
I appreciated this time to get to know you a little
bit, Rhonda, and I wish youluck.
I can't wait to see the rest ofthe story for Coconut.
I am a huge dog fan, soanything with dogs I'm all for
that.
Speaker 1 (53:33):
You'll love this sweet book.
Speaker 3 (53:35):
All right, thank you so much Thank you have a great
rest of your day.
Speaker 2 (53:39):
You too, stay well Bye.
Thanks for joining us today onSoul Sisteries and thanks for
sharing stories with us.
Speaker 1 (53:47):
We'd love to hear your stories as well and keep
the conversation going,absolutely keeping the hope
going.
So we're really hopeful thatyou'll connect with our guests
as well, who have great storiesto share.
Go ahead and follow them invarious social media platforms
or live venues, wherever it isthat they're performing and
(54:08):
sharing what they do.
Speaker 2 (54:10):
We would love to have you follow us on all of our
social media platforms,subscribe and rate, as that will
help us get our message of hopeout to others.
Thanks for listening to Soul.
Speaker 1 (54:20):
Sisteries.
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