Should I Try to Reconnect With My Estranged In-Laws (So My Kids Can Have Grandparents)?

HOLD THE PHONE! If you're feeling tempted to reconnect with estranged family members because it's the hollliiiiddddaaaayyyysss, you are not alone!

Maybe it's the twinkle lights. The traditions. The third glass of your mother's favorite wine. Or... worst of all... the hope that the season brings. But for some reason, the relationship boundaries that seem so clear during the rest of the year can get cloudy during the holidays.

But before you send the familial equivalent of "U up?" to your estranged family members...

Listen in as I tackle a question from a listener, Sarah, who wants to know if she should encourage her husband to reach out to his parents, who cut off contact from the family earlier this year. She asks:

• Should we be in contact with our parents, on behalf of our children, so that they have a grandparent relationship?
• Can disappointing parents be good grandparents?
• If the estrangement continues, what should we say to our children when they ask why they never see their grandparents?

In this episode, I cover:

• How family cutoffs can be particularly painful during the holidays
• How to recognize emotional immaturity in your parents (or anyone else!)
• That emotional immaturity in parents can lead to harmful dynamics for their children and grandchildren
• That setting boundaries is crucial when dealing with emotionally immature family members
• That it's natural to yearn for family connections, but not all relationships are healthy
• That coping with family estrangement requires grounding oneself in reality
• That finding comfort in oneself and one's immediate family is essential when dealing with emotionally immature family members, or dealing with a family estrangement

💌 Have a relationship question you’d like featured on the show? Fill out the Sounds Like Therapy Listener Survey and share your story.

📣 Loved this episode? Leave a 5-star review and mention how Sarah's call resonated with you - you might just help someone else feel less alone.

🎙 Tune in next week for real-life relationship questions, insight that builds empathy, and practical steps to create happier, healthier relationships.

Disclaimer: while this podcast sounds like therapy, it is not actually therapy nor is it a substitute for therapy, and while I am a therapist, I am not YOUR therapist. Please be entertained and encouraged, and seek appropriate mental health support from a licensed therapist in your community, if necessary.

---

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.