The Real Reason You’re Arguing More Lately (And How to Fix It)

Lately, it feels like every conversation I have with women sounds the same: “I’m overwhelmed by what's happening in the world, and my husband just... isn't. In fact, he seems way too chill about current events... and I feel totally alone in my marriage. WHAT THE HECK IS HAPPENING?!?!”

I'm so glad you asked! And I'm so happy to tell you: I've got answers!

In this episode of Sounds Like Therapy, I’m pulling back the curtain on one of the most common dynamics I see in couples—especially when the world outside feels like it’s falling apart. I explain the basics of the attachment-theory based Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), how our nervous systems are wired to react to stress differently, and why your fights aren’t really about politics, the news, or social media—they’re about survival strategies.

We’ll talk about:

• Why your partner’s calm might feel like indifference (but probably isn’t)
• Why your anxiety might feel like an attack to your partner
• What to do before you bring up something that’s stressing you out
• How to move in towards your partner, even when their anxiety stresses you out
• How to repair when things spiral—and WHO should initiate repair

Whether you’re in the middle of a disconnect, recovering from a blowout fight, or just trying to understand each other better, this episode gives you the tools to stop the cycle and start reconnecting—even in hard times.

If you want to stay connected with me between episodes, make sure you’re on my email list—where I share thoughts, updates, and behind-the-scenes moments I don’t always talk about on the podcast. This is also where you can submit your own question for the show, or send me a note to let me know what's on your mind (yes, it's really me on the other end!)

🔗 Join My Email List: https://www.andreaburkly.com/signup

📣 Loved this episode? Share it with your partner and give yourselves a shared language to navigate stress and conflict better.

🎙 Tune in next week for real-life relationship questions, insight that builds empathy, and practical steps to create happier, healthier relationships.

Disclaimer: while this podcast sounds like therapy, it is not actually therapy nor is it a substitute for therapy, and while I am a therapist, I am not YOUR therapist. Please be entertained and encouraged, and seek appropriate mental health support from a licensed therapist in your community, if necessary.

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