April 29, 2024 • 23 mins
Moving to a new country is an epic saga of its own, and for Sam, our vibrant guest from South Africa now thriving in California, it was a tale filled with love, and the unexpected call to serve. As she unfolds her story, you'll be transported from the excitement of meeting her US Marine husband in Pretoria to the sobering complexities of immigration, all leading her to don the uniform of the US Navy. Amidst the intricacies of job hunting and proving the legitimacy of her marriage, Sam's resilience shines, offering a raw look into the emotional and financial sacrifices that come with chasing the American dream.
Our conversation with Sam is a masterclass in adaptation and the pursuit of joy amidst change. You'll hear how she's fostering her children's South African heritage, keeping it alive across the seas while they carve out their American lives. With her South African laughter mingling with the California sun, Sam's anecdotes about finding community in unexpected places, from roller derby tracks to motorcycle clubs, will inspire you to seek out your own sense of belonging, no matter where you find yourself. Join us as we celebrate the spirit of this South African expat, whose story of transformation echoes the boundless strength of the human spirit.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome back to South Africans Abroad, a show for
expat South Africans and anyoneinterested in the experiences of
those who have made the moveoverseas.
Each episode we'll hear fromSouth Africans who have left the
country to pursue newopportunities, be with loved
ones or simply follow theirdreams.
We'll explore the challengesand triumphs of life as an expat
and the unique perspective thatcomes with being a South
(00:24):
African abroad.
Triumphs of life as an expatand the unique perspective that
comes with being a South Africanabroad.
I'm your host, warren Burley,an expat South African who, like
many, followed the dream ofworking overseas.
Whether you're an expatyourself or just curious about
the expat experience, join us aswe delve into the motivations,
struggles and joys of being aSouth African living overseas.
(00:45):
Today we have Sam, who tradedthe sweeping landscapes of South
Africa for the sun-kissedshores of California, where she
embarked on a new adventure byjoining the esteemed ranks of
the United States Navy.
Samantha, how are you doing?
Speaker 2 (00:53):
I'm doing great.
How are you?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Good, do you want to just introduce yourself?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
My name is Sam I go by just Sam came to the US
around 2007.
Been here for about 17 yearsnow, came over, met a Marine in
South Africa and we weretogether for about 11 and a half
years and during that time Itried to get a job in the States
and it was really tough.
Here they do a lot of everybodygoes to college here.
(01:19):
It's affordable or it's freebecause of bursaries and grants,
but getting a job was justreally hard for me.
So I started out by putting myresume everywhere monster career
builder and all those placesand I got picked up for a pretty
cool job at a gym.
I guess I was too qualified forthe position I applied for, so
they put me in an operationalmanager position, which was
(01:42):
pretty cool, and then after thatwe moved around, because
military move around.
So obviously I came herethrough the military and around
five years in I was like no, I'mdone, I need something stable.
I had a really stable job inSouth Africa and I miss it a lot
.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
What were you doing back in South Africa?
Speaker 2 (02:02):
My first job out of high school was ABSA.
I worked at ABSA's call center,and then my second job was
Discovery Health two of thelargest beats in Africa and I
worked in the customer callcenter too, for Violet T.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
So what brought on the decision to come over?
I know you said you came herefor a military guy.
Where did you meet him?
Speaker 2 (02:20):
A little place down in Pretoria, a little bar that
the military liked to go hangout at and, yeah, I was serving
shots.
My girlfriend and I decidedthat after a couple
opportunities, I had a full-timejob and I was a single mom and
after hours at night, aftereverybody went to bed, we went
to clubs and we would serveshots.
So I met this military guythere and obviously was
(02:43):
infatuated with his accent andyou know, I fell head over heels
and, um, it was kind of rockybecause he, uh, he said, you
know, he wanted to stay therewith me and I didn't want to be
anybody's floozy for a littlebit, you know.
So, uh, and then his decisionchanged overnight and he had to
go to, which I said okay.
But then he came back, uh,after a little while, and said
(03:10):
that he wanted to bring me overto America.
You know, come check it out.
And that was the first timethat I ever, I was ever away
from my daughter.
So I came up to America around2007.
And he proposed, during my twoweek visit he proposed and we
got married in a little court inSevierville, tennessee.
And then, you know, I startedmy process to come over.
I went back, I just purchased ahouse.
Uh, it was brand new.
So I picked out all the all thefurnishings and everything, um,
(03:31):
which was kind of traumatizingbecause, um, I had to turn
around and sell it immediatelyand I didn't make anything.
And you know, lucky enough Ididn't have to pay anything big
decision yeah, so it took meabout.
Around the October of that sameyear, my daughter and I came
over, and she was three yearsold okay, so let's talk about
the visa process.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
There was a I mean it sounds like you got married and
they kind of helped thatprocess.
Was there any challenges withit?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
oh, absolutely a lot of money, a lot of challenges, a
lot of heartache.
Um, and the the uscis is notvery helpful.
When you call them, all theysay is wait your time, wait your
time.
But a website that I found waspretty helpful for me was Visa
Journey.
So people blog on there all thetime about their process, how
long things are taking.
(04:17):
You know little loopholes andtips and tricks.
So that was very helpful for meto you know, just to understand
that I wasn't the only one inthis process.
Yeah, yeah, I took a lot ofmoney and I was able to do the
fiance visa for a little bit,and then we went on to the
spouse visa, okay, and thenobviously you get all your shots
(04:39):
and your chest x rays and allthe things nobody talks about,
sitting at the consulate for somany hours getting interrogated.
And then we came over.
I was a permanent resident formy two years because we had been
married less than two years.
So if you're married less thantwo years to a citizen and being
in the military for him didn'thelp me at that point, I guess
(05:02):
it just looks good on paper atthat time he's a outstanding
citizen.
But, um, because we weremarried less than two years, I
had to undergo a conditionalpermanent residence.
So then we had to lift theconditions after the two years
for me to have a permanentresident for 10 years okay yeah,
so around the two-year mark wehad to go in and get interviewed
.
(05:22):
Make sure that I know what sideof the drawer he puts his socks
on and which window he opens atnight, the stuff everybody
prepares you for, and weactually did get asked some
crazy whack questions.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Okay, what was the craziest question you got asked?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
What side of the bed does he sleep on?
And then they asked him thesame question what side of the
bed does she sleep on?
Just to make sure that we don'tconflict.
Depends, which conflict yeahdepends which side the bed's
facing.
Yeah, and how did your familyreact to this whole thing?
I have always been a, anindependent, um go-getter and,
(05:54):
uh, they were pretty shocked atfirst, but they kind of expected
it.
Um, it was hard for me to leaveeverybody.
It was hard for me to leave allmy tupperware.
I love my tupperware yeah.
I had established my whole house.
I had established, you know,life there and, um, you know,
for me it was more.
Where could I provide the bestlife for my child?
Um, and I'm gonna tear up, um,and so my parents understood.
(06:20):
My dad is, my parents have beenseparated for a very long time,
um, and I'm very close to withmy mom, so I think it was tough
for everybody.
But they knew, once my heartset on something, I'm going and
I came back married.
So you know, just a crazylittle wildflower, me and you
still see your family a lot I,my mom, actually lives here in
hemet.
Uh, she, she came over um, andmy dad, he was born in Kenya and
(06:47):
so he never relinquished hisBritish citizenship and so he is
now in London and, you know,regained his life over there.
He actually just moved over,probably like three years ago,
not even.
And so my biological siblings,they all got heritage passports
and moved over to London.
So I have my mom here with meand over the last couple years
(07:07):
with covid, I've I've lost a lotof my family yeah, yeah,
covered, hit everybody crazy um.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
So you mentioned tennessee.
Was that the first place youwent?
Speaker 2 (07:17):
uh, I came to the states through norfolk, virginia
, that's where he was stationedand then we got on the road and
we took a beautiful car drive upup through, um, I think we went
through roanoke, uh, I can'tremember all the places, but it
was just so beautiful, it wasjust, it was just a very scenic
drive and so we visited he'sfrom tennessee, my ex-husband so
(07:40):
, um, yeah, we went over thereand then I I lived in Tennessee,
florida, california, okinawa,japan, wow yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Okay, and that's obviously with the Navy.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
With the military.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
yes, Okay, and how did you end up in California?
Speaker 2 (07:55):
He got orders to get stationed here and so after we
did a tour in, we finished outthe tour in Virginia and then we
went down to Florida.
He did recruiting out of thereand I had my son there and then
we took the drive over here.
He got orders.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
so military life you go where they tell you yeah,
okay, let's talk about themilitary life.
How the hell did you end up inthe Navy?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
So, going back to the part of not being able to get a
job here, it was frustrating.
I was golly.
I came here when I was around24.
And a couple of years I did oddjobs and I did temp work.
I went into a temp agency whotemps anymore, yeah, you know.
And I applied for everything.
The military actually has aopportunity on base and it's a
(08:38):
spouse preference.
I tried that too.
It didn't work.
I tried Macy's, walmart,penny's, I tried everything and
I just didn't have a degreebecause I went straight to
school after high school.
I mean, I went straight to workafter high school, excuse me.
And so because I didn't havethat piece of paper, I wasn't
worth anything.
(08:58):
And so I remember when myex-husband was on recruiting
duty, they'd always joke aroundabout oh it's, you know, the
numbers are down, let's justenlist our wives, and so that.
And coming to America was, itwas pretty momentous.
When I came through the airportand it just looked like the the
sea parted, yeah, and thesesailors and marines, and you
know, they came down with theirthe big green bags on their
(09:19):
their back and everybody wasjust applauding for them.
And I'm getting goosebumpsright now and everybody just
supported them and I just Ilooked at them and I was I want
to be like that.
I just I want to serve, I wantto give back, I want to be great
, I want to do something awesomeyeah and so I told my
ex-husband I'm going to join themilitary.
Initially it was a challengebecause he said you wouldn't
(09:39):
make it and I wanted to join themarines to so that I could be
stationed with him.
But I have a tattoo up past myinto my neck so that's not
allowed.
So I said fine, navy's nextbest bet yeah, navy loves
tattoos they go back and forthdepending on who's in charge.
Um, but yeah, I went into thenavy's recruiter, the navy
recruiting office, and you know,the first thing they did was
(10:00):
where's your accent from?
I said south africa, andthey're like, hmm, they have
quotas to meet and they werelike, oh, we can get her in as a
african-american okay so thatwas the joke.
Um, and yeah, so I I was verypersistent.
Um, it was kind of tough for mebecause I had a surgery on my
ankle when I was a baby in 84.
And I had to get documentationfor that and the doctor could
(10:23):
swear he was like in his 60sback then.
So I had to employ my dad to goand find this doctor and get
some type of documentationstating that I fully recovered
because it was a clubfoot, thepositioning in the womb.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
And I had to prove that I can do everything
everybody else can do.
Yeah, so I did.
He got a document from me, fromthe doctor, that I thought was
not even on this earth anymore,and, yeah, I had to translate
all my transcripts and that wasit.
That was the start of my careerin 2012.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
So what do you do in the navy?
Speaker 2 (10:59):
I am a corpsman.
If I have to translate that inlayman's terms, I'm a medic.
I don't tell a corpsman thatthey're a medic because we take
offense to that.
I don't care either way.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
But what's the difference between a corpsman
and a medic?
Speaker 2 (11:10):
the word okay um and uh.
So the reason why I went in tobe a corpsman is because they
often get stationed with theMarines Marines don't have.
They don't have medics, theyget seen by Navy.
And my kid had hit herself onthe foot with a sledgehammer and
I was at a block.
(11:30):
I didn't know what to do.
So that kind of sparked my Iwant to be able to fix my kid's
boo-boos.
So I said, let me, let me tryfor that.
Um, and the navy is a littledifferent here because they're
different to the marine corpsand I'm pretty versed in both of
them.
Uh, where the marine corps, youcan walk in and say I want to
do this job or they'll.
They'll advertise jobs to youand they'll actually let you
(11:52):
work towards getting that joband if it's not open or
available, they'll work with youand hold you off until that
comes available.
Navy is different, um, and Icould.
I could be wrong, somebodyelse's experience might be
different to mine, but I wastold if you don't, if you go
down, you're going to take atest at the military processing
station and whatever you qualifyfor and we offer to you.
(12:16):
If you don't take it, justremember, we reserve the right
to invite you back.
And so I looked at the guy.
I was 29 years old.
I looked at the guy and I saidI'm not a child, I want to come
in as a corpsman and if youcan't offer that to me, I know
where the door is.
And so they thought they weredoing me a favor.
At that time my husband waspretty high ranking and one of
(12:42):
the guys over there called meinto the office, got my husband
on the phone and he he said, hey, you know, just wanted to give
you the good news I wereoffering her a corpsman.
And uh, so it was.
It worked out, um, and I lovewhat I do.
I really do.
Uh, it's it's service to thecommunity, service to our
service members this question isnot really a South African
question but do you finddifficulties in being a woman in
(13:07):
the Navy?
Me personally, I have not hadany issues, but I do know a lot
of females that have.
Don't get me wrong, themilitary is awesome and I'm not
going to paint any type of youknow, positive, negative picture
for anybody.
I would say do it yourself ifyou want to experience it.
But sometimes when women arevictimized in the military and
(13:31):
speak up about it, they become atarget, regardless of you know,
the preachings of you know.
Always step up, always saysomething you know.
I do know some females thathave definitely been victimized,
and there are some of us thathave had great careers.
I'm a go-getter.
I see my target in sight and Iget it.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Yeah, it sounds like you like a challenge.
Right, I do and I'm persistent.
Okay, so let's talk about yourkids.
How?
Speaker 2 (13:59):
many kids you got.
I have two beautiful babies.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
And were they both born in South Africa?
Speaker 2 (14:04):
My daughter was born in South Africa.
Her name is Amy and she's 20.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
How old was she when you came over?
Three, okay, so she doesn'tremember anything there.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
She tries and she wants to know her roots more
than anything else in the worldand she definitely does research
, and her dad is South Africanand she has a relationship with
him, so okay, is he in southafrica?
Yeah, and my son is 14 and hewas obviously born here he was
born here, yes, in florida as asouth african.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Have you found any other challenges in in america?
Speaker 2 (14:36):
oh, my gosh.
Uh, I was listening to one ofyour podcasts um a of weeks ago
and one of the intervieweesmentioned how hard the currency
is in the very beginning.
I'm not sure why it was sotough, because looking at it now
it was silly, but I couldn'tdetermine what was what from
what and I would always justhold the coins in my hand and
(14:56):
give it to the register and sayhey, take what you need.
It was hard for me to transferthe currency because I was
always converting.
And I know you should never dothat because of the cost of
living difference and yourearning capabilities here, but
that was really really tough forme in the beginning and then
just family and home.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Do you miss a lot about South Africa?
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Yeah, I miss everything I don't miss.
I've never lived through.
What do you call it?
Load sharing?
Yeah I've never lived throughthat so I don't know what that
is um, but I do.
I miss.
I miss the culture, I miss thefact that you could you can
crack a joke and not hurtanybody's feelings yeah, yeah,
yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
It seems to be quite the opposite.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Exactly, and everybody is so up in their
feels.
Here it's different, you know,and so here I tend to gravitate
to South Africans.
I'm always looking for anotherSouth African, just like how I
found you.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
And.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
I found another family.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Do you have a lot of South African friends there?
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Not too many but funny.
After I got here to CaliforniaI found a female that was in the
10th grade with me Senate 8, inPretoria, in Centurion, and she
was actually one of my bullies,but we're friends now.
And, yeah, she lives in Anaheimor she used to live in Anaheim,
but that was so ironic to me.
(16:20):
And there's another SouthAfrican that is in my unit at
work and he still retained histhick accent and we're cool.
And then another family.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
And I've gone to a couple of the gatherings here
and there and a poiki and stufflike that.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Yeah, and you say you haven't been back.
I haven't In 17 years.
No I haven't been back.
I haven't in 17 years.
No, I haven't any, any plans togo back.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
I do.
I'd like to go in december okayum, I'm going through a little
bit of a rough patch right now,and if this rough patch, you
know, comes out with the lightat the end of the tunnel, then
I'm going to take my daughterback, because my son's father is
living in germany right now, um, and so he visits him twice a
year and I'd like to do that formy daughter as well.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Okay, and do you see yourself staying in the States?
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Oh, yes, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
What do you like most about California?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
The weather is very similar to South Africa,
especially where I was.
I was born in Durban and Imoved to Centurion in Pretoria,
so it's very similar Cold days,hot nights.
When it's hot in the summer,you stand under a tree and it's
tenderly cooler.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
I like california you say that you could move in an
instant, though um it would bearound every three years.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
I'm up for orders.
Uh, actually, in the next monthor two, okay, I'm going to be
trying to stay around here.
My son's entering into highschool right during this year
when they start up again, and mydaughter goes to college here
and lives at home and my mom'sin Hammett and they're my only
support here.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Reflecting on your time coming over and everything,
what advice would you givesomeone that wants to come over
and maybe join the military?
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Embrace life, take every opportunity to explore and
take advantage.
Um, I definitely believe thatI've.
I've had a great life sincecoming over here.
Very many experiences in themilitary, I've traveled, um,
it's not hard, it's you, youknow, once you get into it, uh,
(18:19):
and work all it out, it's.
It definitely has benefits inthe end, and my children are so
well off and so set for lifebecause of what I've been able
to give to them, being in thestates.
You know, the common thing inevery podcast episode is with
people with children is they'vedone it for their children I'll
tell you that I have, likemyself being in the military,
(18:39):
I've been to countries like SriLanka, dubai, bali, thailand,
lived in Japan for three and ahalf years.
I've seen I was on a ship forthree years going in and out,
and just the opportunities, andI only know the military life.
I don't know the civilian lifeand the free and the military
get what they consider free,medical.
(19:01):
So, I've been able to takeadvantage of all of that.
You know and you know livinghere is what you make of it.
It really is.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Yeah, embrace it right.
Looking back, is there anythingyou would have prepared for
differently?
Speaker 2 (19:12):
I don't think you can really prepare.
You know Everybody's situation.
I mean, you've spoken to somany people here.
How many of us have got thesame situation or even had the
same circumstance?
Yeah I don't think you canreally prepare um, regardless of
how much research you do, it'ssomething's going to hit you
from the side, you know, and yougot to just figure it out be
prepared troubleshoot exactlyyeah, um, and just just go with
(19:33):
the flow.
You know the sun's going toshine the next day, hopefully.
And just go with the flow, justembrace it okay, that's a nice
advice.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Would you bring anything back from?
Oh golly everything, all myfriends um, oh golly has it been
hard for you to make friends,though?
Speaker 2 (19:51):
no, I have a lot of acquaintances.
I'm kind of a loner, I'm notone that tends to gravitate
towards trends um, but I've gota lot of different community.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
I am in the roller derby community too and the
motorcycle community rollerderby just roller derby skating
on all four wheels on each footyeah, and hitting people like
roller skates yeah, rollerskates, like you've seen the
movies.
They go around in circles andbeat each other if you've
watched the movie, whip it.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Yeah, it's similar to that.
We just don't.
We don't injure purposely.
Okay, uh, we do injure, though,but not purposely.
Yeah, I'm actually going toarizona this weekend to ref.
I started reffing.
I don't play anymore becauseI've had three surgeries in the
last year.
Uh, I would say from no, I.
I was put through a training, uhin the military, and it was
(20:39):
like 80 pounds on my back goingup and down hills, and I rolled
my ankle coming down that hilland severed my peroneal tendon,
and so I've had hip and ankleand wrist surgery in the last
year.
So I didn't do that.
I don't play play anymore.
I do one-two one day again.
I did have a good run with it,though, but now I coach and I
ref.
I'm also a certified level onereferee for the Women's Flat
(21:01):
Track Roller Derby Association,which is an international league
.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
And you were talking about volunteering everywhere.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Yes, Right now I engulf myself into volunteering
and giving back.
I am part of Veterans ofForeign Wars, which is the VFW.
We have a post just down theroad here.
We serve veterans.
We do everything.
We help them paint their housesif they need it.
They can come to the VFW forresources for absolutely
(21:30):
anything, and I'm not aspokesperson for them, so I'm
not going to go into details.
But if anybody is in need ofthat.
We can host events at our postand help out by working in the
canteen and I just lovelistening to the guys' stories
and the women's stories and justmeeting new people and
networking.
And then so I do volunteer as aroller derby coach and I coach
(21:51):
the fresh feet is what we callour guys is the people that have
never put skates on to puttingthem on for the first time and
being a little baby giraffe fora little bit.
And I love doing it.
It's very, very rewarding.
And then I just picked up a newvolunteer.
Actually, I also volunteeredanother post for the VFW,
sometimes on a Sunday, and thatone's in Fallbrook and they have
(22:11):
a great post there too.
And I just picked up a new one.
I started volunteering with theLegion, which is the rugby team
down here.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
That's a significant coming out.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
I went there to start doing setup and breakdown.
Just my daughter and I wentdown to help them out and ended
up on the field as the red hat.
This is the person thatcommunicates with production and
the referees, pretty much onthe field.
So I was right in the middle ofit and they've asked me to come
back for the rest of the season, so I guess I did a good job.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Was that the accent that got you the job?
Speaker 2 (22:42):
I don't know.
I guess I didn't mess it up,put it that way.
I didn't mess it up, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
I don't think any South African can mess up a
rugby job.
I've got one final question foryou.
What's up?
Is the grass greener on theother side?
Speaker 2 (22:56):
I would say so, yes, yes, will you miss it?
Absolutely.
But if you have an ounce ofwillingness to just take the
dive, take the dive and reachout to us.
There's a lot of us over herethat can try and help or give
guidance.
But yeah, absolutely.
I think the grass is greener.
The opportunities are great.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Brilliant.
We look forward to hearing yourstory as you go on.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Absolutely I'll be back.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Thanks.
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Be sure to join our vibrantcommunity on Facebook.
Just search for South AfricansAbroad Podcast and become part
of the conversation there.
You'll find additional content,behind the scenes insights and
(23:47):
an easy way to access all yourfavorite episodes.
So until next time, check youTuesday.
Welcome back to South Africans Abroad, a show for
expat South Africans and anyoneinterested in the experiences of
those who have made the moveoverseas.
Each episode we'll hear fromSouth Africans who have left the
country to pursue newopportunities, be with loved
ones or simply follow theirdreams.
We'll explore the challengesand triumphs of life as an expat
and the unique perspective thatcomes with being a South
(00:24):
African abroad.
Triumphs of life as an expatand the unique perspective that
comes with being a South Africanabroad.
I'm your host, warren Burley,an expat South African who, like
many, followed the dream ofworking overseas.
Whether you're an expatyourself or just curious about
the expat experience, join us aswe delve into the motivations,
struggles and joys of being aSouth African living overseas.
(00:45):
Today we have Sam, who tradedthe sweeping landscapes of South
Africa for the sun-kissedshores of California, where she
embarked on a new adventure byjoining the esteemed ranks of
the United States Navy.
Samantha, how are you doing?
Speaker 2 (00:53):
I'm doing great.
How are you?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Good, do you want to just introduce yourself?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
My name is Sam I go by just Sam came to the US
around 2007.
Been here for about 17 yearsnow, came over, met a Marine in
South Africa and we weretogether for about 11 and a half
years and during that time Itried to get a job in the States
and it was really tough.
Here they do a lot of everybodygoes to college here.
(01:19):
It's affordable or it's freebecause of bursaries and grants,
but getting a job was justreally hard for me.
So I started out by putting myresume everywhere monster career
builder and all those placesand I got picked up for a pretty
cool job at a gym.
I guess I was too qualified forthe position I applied for, so
they put me in an operationalmanager position, which was
(01:42):
pretty cool, and then after thatwe moved around, because
military move around.
So obviously I came herethrough the military and around
five years in I was like no, I'mdone, I need something stable.
I had a really stable job inSouth Africa and I miss it a lot
.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
What were you doing back in South Africa?
Speaker 2 (02:02):
My first job out of high school was ABSA.
I worked at ABSA's call center,and then my second job was
Discovery Health two of thelargest beats in Africa and I
worked in the customer callcenter too, for Violet T.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
So what brought on the decision to come over?
I know you said you came herefor a military guy.
Where did you meet him?
Speaker 2 (02:20):
A little place down in Pretoria, a little bar that
the military liked to go hangout at and, yeah, I was serving
shots.
My girlfriend and I decidedthat after a couple
opportunities, I had a full-timejob and I was a single mom and
after hours at night, aftereverybody went to bed, we went
to clubs and we would serveshots.
So I met this military guythere and obviously was
(02:43):
infatuated with his accent andyou know, I fell head over heels
and, um, it was kind of rockybecause he, uh, he said, you
know, he wanted to stay therewith me and I didn't want to be
anybody's floozy for a littlebit, you know.
So, uh, and then his decisionchanged overnight and he had to
go to, which I said okay.
But then he came back, uh,after a little while, and said
(03:10):
that he wanted to bring me overto America.
You know, come check it out.
And that was the first timethat I ever, I was ever away
from my daughter.
So I came up to America around2007.
And he proposed, during my twoweek visit he proposed and we
got married in a little court inSevierville, tennessee.
And then, you know, I startedmy process to come over.
I went back, I just purchased ahouse.
Uh, it was brand new.
So I picked out all the all thefurnishings and everything, um,
(03:31):
which was kind of traumatizingbecause, um, I had to turn
around and sell it immediatelyand I didn't make anything.
And you know, lucky enough Ididn't have to pay anything big
decision yeah, so it took meabout.
Around the October of that sameyear, my daughter and I came
over, and she was three yearsold okay, so let's talk about
the visa process.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
There was a I mean it sounds like you got married and
they kind of helped thatprocess.
Was there any challenges withit?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
oh, absolutely a lot of money, a lot of challenges, a
lot of heartache.
Um, and the the uscis is notvery helpful.
When you call them, all theysay is wait your time, wait your
time.
But a website that I found waspretty helpful for me was Visa
Journey.
So people blog on there all thetime about their process, how
long things are taking.
(04:17):
You know little loopholes andtips and tricks.
So that was very helpful for meto you know, just to understand
that I wasn't the only one inthis process.
Yeah, yeah, I took a lot ofmoney and I was able to do the
fiance visa for a little bit,and then we went on to the
spouse visa, okay, and thenobviously you get all your shots
(04:39):
and your chest x rays and allthe things nobody talks about,
sitting at the consulate for somany hours getting interrogated.
And then we came over.
I was a permanent resident formy two years because we had been
married less than two years.
So if you're married less thantwo years to a citizen and being
in the military for him didn'thelp me at that point, I guess
(05:02):
it just looks good on paper atthat time he's a outstanding
citizen.
But, um, because we weremarried less than two years, I
had to undergo a conditionalpermanent residence.
So then we had to lift theconditions after the two years
for me to have a permanentresident for 10 years okay yeah,
so around the two-year mark wehad to go in and get interviewed
.
(05:22):
Make sure that I know what sideof the drawer he puts his socks
on and which window he opens atnight, the stuff everybody
prepares you for, and weactually did get asked some
crazy whack questions.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Okay, what was the craziest question you got asked?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
What side of the bed does he sleep on?
And then they asked him thesame question what side of the
bed does she sleep on?
Just to make sure that we don'tconflict.
Depends, which conflict yeahdepends which side the bed's
facing.
Yeah, and how did your familyreact to this whole thing?
I have always been a, anindependent, um go-getter and,
(05:54):
uh, they were pretty shocked atfirst, but they kind of expected
it.
Um, it was hard for me to leaveeverybody.
It was hard for me to leave allmy tupperware.
I love my tupperware yeah.
I had established my whole house.
I had established, you know,life there and, um, you know,
for me it was more.
Where could I provide the bestlife for my child?
Um, and I'm gonna tear up, um,and so my parents understood.
(06:20):
My dad is, my parents have beenseparated for a very long time,
um, and I'm very close to withmy mom, so I think it was tough
for everybody.
But they knew, once my heartset on something, I'm going and
I came back married.
So you know, just a crazylittle wildflower, me and you
still see your family a lot I,my mom, actually lives here in
hemet.
Uh, she, she came over um, andmy dad, he was born in Kenya and
(06:47):
so he never relinquished hisBritish citizenship and so he is
now in London and, you know,regained his life over there.
He actually just moved over,probably like three years ago,
not even.
And so my biological siblings,they all got heritage passports
and moved over to London.
So I have my mom here with meand over the last couple years
(07:07):
with covid, I've I've lost a lotof my family yeah, yeah,
covered, hit everybody crazy um.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
So you mentioned tennessee.
Was that the first place youwent?
Speaker 2 (07:17):
uh, I came to the states through norfolk, virginia
, that's where he was stationedand then we got on the road and
we took a beautiful car drive upup through, um, I think we went
through roanoke, uh, I can'tremember all the places, but it
was just so beautiful, it wasjust, it was just a very scenic
drive and so we visited he'sfrom tennessee, my ex-husband so
(07:40):
, um, yeah, we went over thereand then I I lived in Tennessee,
florida, california, okinawa,japan, wow yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Okay, and that's obviously with the Navy.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
With the military.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
yes, Okay, and how did you end up in California?
Speaker 2 (07:55):
He got orders to get stationed here and so after we
did a tour in, we finished outthe tour in Virginia and then we
went down to Florida.
He did recruiting out of thereand I had my son there and then
we took the drive over here.
He got orders.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
so military life you go where they tell you yeah,
okay, let's talk about themilitary life.
How the hell did you end up inthe Navy?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
So, going back to the part of not being able to get a
job here, it was frustrating.
I was golly.
I came here when I was around24.
And a couple of years I did oddjobs and I did temp work.
I went into a temp agency whotemps anymore, yeah, you know.
And I applied for everything.
The military actually has aopportunity on base and it's a
(08:38):
spouse preference.
I tried that too.
It didn't work.
I tried Macy's, walmart,penny's, I tried everything and
I just didn't have a degreebecause I went straight to
school after high school.
I mean, I went straight to workafter high school, excuse me.
And so because I didn't havethat piece of paper, I wasn't
worth anything.
(08:58):
And so I remember when myex-husband was on recruiting
duty, they'd always joke aroundabout oh it's, you know, the
numbers are down, let's justenlist our wives, and so that.
And coming to America was, itwas pretty momentous.
When I came through the airportand it just looked like the the
sea parted, yeah, and thesesailors and marines, and you
know, they came down with theirthe big green bags on their
(09:19):
their back and everybody wasjust applauding for them.
And I'm getting goosebumpsright now and everybody just
supported them and I just Ilooked at them and I was I want
to be like that.
I just I want to serve, I wantto give back, I want to be great
, I want to do something awesomeyeah and so I told my
ex-husband I'm going to join themilitary.
Initially it was a challengebecause he said you wouldn't
(09:39):
make it and I wanted to join themarines to so that I could be
stationed with him.
But I have a tattoo up past myinto my neck so that's not
allowed.
So I said fine, navy's nextbest bet yeah, navy loves
tattoos they go back and forthdepending on who's in charge.
Um, but yeah, I went into thenavy's recruiter, the navy
recruiting office, and you know,the first thing they did was
(10:00):
where's your accent from?
I said south africa, andthey're like, hmm, they have
quotas to meet and they werelike, oh, we can get her in as a
african-american okay so thatwas the joke.
Um, and yeah, so I I was verypersistent.
Um, it was kind of tough for mebecause I had a surgery on my
ankle when I was a baby in 84.
And I had to get documentationfor that and the doctor could
(10:23):
swear he was like in his 60sback then.
So I had to employ my dad to goand find this doctor and get
some type of documentationstating that I fully recovered
because it was a clubfoot, thepositioning in the womb.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
And I had to prove that I can do everything
everybody else can do.
Yeah, so I did.
He got a document from me, fromthe doctor, that I thought was
not even on this earth anymore,and, yeah, I had to translate
all my transcripts and that wasit.
That was the start of my careerin 2012.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
So what do you do in the navy?
Speaker 2 (10:59):
I am a corpsman.
If I have to translate that inlayman's terms, I'm a medic.
I don't tell a corpsman thatthey're a medic because we take
offense to that.
I don't care either way.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
But what's the difference between a corpsman
and a medic?
Speaker 2 (11:10):
the word okay um and uh.
So the reason why I went in tobe a corpsman is because they
often get stationed with theMarines Marines don't have.
They don't have medics, theyget seen by Navy.
And my kid had hit herself onthe foot with a sledgehammer and
I was at a block.
(11:30):
I didn't know what to do.
So that kind of sparked my Iwant to be able to fix my kid's
boo-boos.
So I said, let me, let me tryfor that.
Um, and the navy is a littledifferent here because they're
different to the marine corpsand I'm pretty versed in both of
them.
Uh, where the marine corps, youcan walk in and say I want to
do this job or they'll.
They'll advertise jobs to youand they'll actually let you
(11:52):
work towards getting that joband if it's not open or
available, they'll work with youand hold you off until that
comes available.
Navy is different, um, and Icould.
I could be wrong, somebodyelse's experience might be
different to mine, but I wastold if you don't, if you go
down, you're going to take atest at the military processing
station and whatever you qualifyfor and we offer to you.
(12:16):
If you don't take it, justremember, we reserve the right
to invite you back.
And so I looked at the guy.
I was 29 years old.
I looked at the guy and I saidI'm not a child, I want to come
in as a corpsman and if youcan't offer that to me, I know
where the door is.
And so they thought they weredoing me a favor.
At that time my husband waspretty high ranking and one of
(12:42):
the guys over there called meinto the office, got my husband
on the phone and he he said, hey, you know, just wanted to give
you the good news I wereoffering her a corpsman.
And uh, so it was.
It worked out, um, and I lovewhat I do.
I really do.
Uh, it's it's service to thecommunity, service to our
service members this question isnot really a South African
question but do you finddifficulties in being a woman in
(13:07):
the Navy?
Me personally, I have not hadany issues, but I do know a lot
of females that have.
Don't get me wrong, themilitary is awesome and I'm not
going to paint any type of youknow, positive, negative picture
for anybody.
I would say do it yourself ifyou want to experience it.
But sometimes when women arevictimized in the military and
(13:31):
speak up about it, they become atarget, regardless of you know,
the preachings of you know.
Always step up, always saysomething you know.
I do know some females thathave definitely been victimized,
and there are some of us thathave had great careers.
I'm a go-getter.
I see my target in sight and Iget it.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Yeah, it sounds like you like a challenge.
Right, I do and I'm persistent.
Okay, so let's talk about yourkids.
How?
Speaker 2 (13:59):
many kids you got.
I have two beautiful babies.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
And were they both born in South Africa?
Speaker 2 (14:04):
My daughter was born in South Africa.
Her name is Amy and she's 20.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
How old was she when you came over?
Three, okay, so she doesn'tremember anything there.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
She tries and she wants to know her roots more
than anything else in the worldand she definitely does research
, and her dad is South Africanand she has a relationship with
him, so okay, is he in southafrica?
Yeah, and my son is 14 and hewas obviously born here he was
born here, yes, in florida as asouth african.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Have you found any other challenges in in america?
Speaker 2 (14:36):
oh, my gosh.
Uh, I was listening to one ofyour podcasts um a of weeks ago
and one of the intervieweesmentioned how hard the currency
is in the very beginning.
I'm not sure why it was sotough, because looking at it now
it was silly, but I couldn'tdetermine what was what from
what and I would always justhold the coins in my hand and
(14:56):
give it to the register and sayhey, take what you need.
It was hard for me to transferthe currency because I was
always converting.
And I know you should never dothat because of the cost of
living difference and yourearning capabilities here, but
that was really really tough forme in the beginning and then
just family and home.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Do you miss a lot about South Africa?
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Yeah, I miss everything I don't miss.
I've never lived through.
What do you call it?
Load sharing?
Yeah I've never lived throughthat so I don't know what that
is um, but I do.
I miss.
I miss the culture, I miss thefact that you could you can
crack a joke and not hurtanybody's feelings yeah, yeah,
yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
It seems to be quite the opposite.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Exactly, and everybody is so up in their
feels.
Here it's different, you know,and so here I tend to gravitate
to South Africans.
I'm always looking for anotherSouth African, just like how I
found you.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
And.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
I found another family.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Do you have a lot of South African friends there?
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Not too many but funny.
After I got here to CaliforniaI found a female that was in the
10th grade with me Senate 8, inPretoria, in Centurion, and she
was actually one of my bullies,but we're friends now.
And, yeah, she lives in Anaheimor she used to live in Anaheim,
but that was so ironic to me.
(16:20):
And there's another SouthAfrican that is in my unit at
work and he still retained histhick accent and we're cool.
And then another family.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
And I've gone to a couple of the gatherings here
and there and a poiki and stufflike that.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Yeah, and you say you haven't been back.
I haven't In 17 years.
No I haven't been back.
I haven't in 17 years.
No, I haven't any, any plans togo back.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
I do.
I'd like to go in december okayum, I'm going through a little
bit of a rough patch right now,and if this rough patch, you
know, comes out with the lightat the end of the tunnel, then
I'm going to take my daughterback, because my son's father is
living in germany right now, um, and so he visits him twice a
year and I'd like to do that formy daughter as well.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Okay, and do you see yourself staying in the States?
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Oh, yes, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
What do you like most about California?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
The weather is very similar to South Africa,
especially where I was.
I was born in Durban and Imoved to Centurion in Pretoria,
so it's very similar Cold days,hot nights.
When it's hot in the summer,you stand under a tree and it's
tenderly cooler.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
I like california you say that you could move in an
instant, though um it would bearound every three years.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
I'm up for orders.
Uh, actually, in the next monthor two, okay, I'm going to be
trying to stay around here.
My son's entering into highschool right during this year
when they start up again, and mydaughter goes to college here
and lives at home and my mom'sin Hammett and they're my only
support here.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Reflecting on your time coming over and everything,
what advice would you givesomeone that wants to come over
and maybe join the military?
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Embrace life, take every opportunity to explore and
take advantage.
Um, I definitely believe thatI've.
I've had a great life sincecoming over here.
Very many experiences in themilitary, I've traveled, um,
it's not hard, it's you, youknow, once you get into it, uh,
(18:19):
and work all it out, it's.
It definitely has benefits inthe end, and my children are so
well off and so set for lifebecause of what I've been able
to give to them, being in thestates.
You know, the common thing inevery podcast episode is with
people with children is they'vedone it for their children I'll
tell you that I have, likemyself being in the military,
(18:39):
I've been to countries like SriLanka, dubai, bali, thailand,
lived in Japan for three and ahalf years.
I've seen I was on a ship forthree years going in and out,
and just the opportunities, andI only know the military life.
I don't know the civilian lifeand the free and the military
get what they consider free,medical.
(19:01):
So, I've been able to takeadvantage of all of that.
You know and you know livinghere is what you make of it.
It really is.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Yeah, embrace it right.
Looking back, is there anythingyou would have prepared for
differently?
Speaker 2 (19:12):
I don't think you can really prepare.
You know Everybody's situation.
I mean, you've spoken to somany people here.
How many of us have got thesame situation or even had the
same circumstance?
Yeah I don't think you canreally prepare um, regardless of
how much research you do, it'ssomething's going to hit you
from the side, you know, and yougot to just figure it out be
prepared troubleshoot exactlyyeah, um, and just just go with
(19:33):
the flow.
You know the sun's going toshine the next day, hopefully.
And just go with the flow, justembrace it okay, that's a nice
advice.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Would you bring anything back from?
Oh golly everything, all myfriends um, oh golly has it been
hard for you to make friends,though?
Speaker 2 (19:51):
no, I have a lot of acquaintances.
I'm kind of a loner, I'm notone that tends to gravitate
towards trends um, but I've gota lot of different community.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
I am in the roller derby community too and the
motorcycle community rollerderby just roller derby skating
on all four wheels on each footyeah, and hitting people like
roller skates yeah, rollerskates, like you've seen the
movies.
They go around in circles andbeat each other if you've
watched the movie, whip it.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Yeah, it's similar to that.
We just don't.
We don't injure purposely.
Okay, uh, we do injure, though,but not purposely.
Yeah, I'm actually going toarizona this weekend to ref.
I started reffing.
I don't play anymore becauseI've had three surgeries in the
last year.
Uh, I would say from no, I.
I was put through a training, uhin the military, and it was
(20:39):
like 80 pounds on my back goingup and down hills, and I rolled
my ankle coming down that hilland severed my peroneal tendon,
and so I've had hip and ankleand wrist surgery in the last
year.
So I didn't do that.
I don't play play anymore.
I do one-two one day again.
I did have a good run with it,though, but now I coach and I
ref.
I'm also a certified level onereferee for the Women's Flat
(21:01):
Track Roller Derby Association,which is an international league
.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
And you were talking about volunteering everywhere.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Yes, Right now I engulf myself into volunteering
and giving back.
I am part of Veterans ofForeign Wars, which is the VFW.
We have a post just down theroad here.
We serve veterans.
We do everything.
We help them paint their housesif they need it.
They can come to the VFW forresources for absolutely
(21:30):
anything, and I'm not aspokesperson for them, so I'm
not going to go into details.
But if anybody is in need ofthat.
We can host events at our postand help out by working in the
canteen and I just lovelistening to the guys' stories
and the women's stories and justmeeting new people and
networking.
And then so I do volunteer as aroller derby coach and I coach
(21:51):
the fresh feet is what we callour guys is the people that have
never put skates on to puttingthem on for the first time and
being a little baby giraffe fora little bit.
And I love doing it.
It's very, very rewarding.
And then I just picked up a newvolunteer.
Actually, I also volunteeredanother post for the VFW,
sometimes on a Sunday, and thatone's in Fallbrook and they have
(22:11):
a great post there too.
And I just picked up a new one.
I started volunteering with theLegion, which is the rugby team
down here.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
That's a significant coming out.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
I went there to start doing setup and breakdown.
Just my daughter and I wentdown to help them out and ended
up on the field as the red hat.
This is the person thatcommunicates with production and
the referees, pretty much onthe field.
So I was right in the middle ofit and they've asked me to come
back for the rest of the season, so I guess I did a good job.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Was that the accent that got you the job?
Speaker 2 (22:42):
I don't know.
I guess I didn't mess it up,put it that way.
I didn't mess it up, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
I don't think any South African can mess up a
rugby job.
I've got one final question foryou.
What's up?
Is the grass greener on theother side?
Speaker 2 (22:56):
I would say so, yes, yes, will you miss it?
Absolutely.
But if you have an ounce ofwillingness to just take the
dive, take the dive and reachout to us.
There's a lot of us over herethat can try and help or give
guidance.
But yeah, absolutely.
I think the grass is greener.
The opportunities are great.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Brilliant.
We look forward to hearing yourstory as you go on.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Absolutely I'll be back.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Thanks.
If you're eager to explore morestories of South Africans
abroad, be sure to hit thatsubscribe button so you never
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(23:47):
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