May 10, 2025 • 38 mins
What’s up, everybody? I’m bringing you an unreleased episode straight from the vault—recorded a few months back while I was under the weather, so bear with me on the coughing.
Epilepsy is more than just seizures—it’s a rollercoaster of challenges, uncertainty, and constant adjustments. In this personal episode, I, Anthony, open up and take you inside my world, sharing an honest and unfiltered look at what it’s really like living with this complex and often misunderstood condition. From the warning signs that signal a seizure’s coming to the ways I manage the tough side effects of necessary medications, this is me.
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If you are seeking help, call the SAMHSA’s National Helpline:1-800-662-HELP (4357), or The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration: 1-800-487-4889.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
What's up everybody.
It's your boy, anthony.
Welcome to another edition ofSpade, the podcast.
What's going on, y'all?
So I'm doing something a littledifferent this time.
Okay, I'm not going to have apanel this time, it's just going
to be me.
Yeah, boy, like this is thefirst time I've done this, so
(00:51):
I'm nervous, like normally.
I'm with people, so I'm bymyself, like nobody's here, I'm
not mediating or anything likethat.
So it's kind of weird, but it'sall good though.
So I decided that this time Iwanted to actually do.
(01:15):
I'm actually going to startdoing some episodes by myself
now, and I'm going to still dosome.
You know I'm still going to dopanel episodes as well, but I'm
also going to incorporate somestuff by myself.
That way y'all can get to knowme more.
You know what I'm sayingBecause I'm always on the panel
and I'm mediating, so you hearmy guests and stuff, but you
(01:37):
never hear from me.
So it's time that I'm a littlemore personable.
You know what I'm saying.
So this particular episode, I'mactually going to talk about a
subject that I've actuallydiscussed my first season that
(01:58):
maybe some of you othersubscribers, my newer
subscribers don't know about.
I don't know if you guys havefully listened to my first
season, but in 2004, I wasdiagnosed with epilepsy and so
with that I shared my journey on, like how I was diagnosed.
(02:24):
I had my mom on the episode andshe recalled some of the events
that I cannot remember, becausewith epilepsy I do suffer from
short-term memory lossnessbecause of the medication and I
take in everything like that.
So recalling certain events iskind of difficult for me.
(02:45):
But sorry, this particularepisode, I'm not going to
necessarily do that again, butI'm going to just kind of take a
different spin on it, because Irealize that I haven't talked
(03:07):
about epilepsy like thatthroughout my whole parkas.
I've only talked about it onetime.
And also I haven't talked aboutPTSD either, which is crazy
because those are the twoletters in spade, like what.
(03:30):
But PTSD does definitely comein like ASAP, because that's
long overdue.
But yeah, with this episode,yeah, I am going to go ahead and
dive right on into this.
So we are going to get started.
(03:50):
So be right back, all right.
So when people hear about, whenpeople hear the term epilepsy,
(04:11):
some people are like, okay, whatis epilepsy?
What does that mean?
Epilepsy is another term forseizures, so just want to get
y'all get that clear Seizures isa.
It's a condition.
A condition I mean All right.
(05:33):
So some people don't know theterm.
What is epilepsy?
Epilepsy is the I guess youcould say the professional term
for seizure.
So seizure is a sudden,uncontrolled burst of electrical
(06:04):
activity within the brain andso with the seizure it can cause
changes within your behavior.
It can cause like movements,feelings, levels of
consciousness, and your symptomsof a seizure it may vary.
(06:30):
So, for example, my symptomsare I know when I'm about to
have a seizure because I have aaura.
You may hear that term withindividuals that have seizures.
They may say they have an auraor a feeling, and you're
(06:55):
probably like okay, what doesthe aura mean?
It's hard to explain.
I can't tell you what that is.
It's to me and this can bedifferent for any and everybody
(07:15):
and aura feels like a sensationof kind of a how can I put it
(07:35):
energy.
So I feel, when I know I'mabout to have a seizure, I feel
it's like a rush of I don't wantto say excitement, but the
feeling is that, but it's fear.
So it's that plus fear and it'sjust that type of energy and I
(08:05):
feel it and it's like I that'swhen I know I'm about to have it
and I have seconds to act tostop it.
To stop it, what I would use isto I would have a emergency
(08:30):
medication and my doctor sorryif I'm coughing y'all, I am
still getting over this cough.
I got sick in the month ofJanuary, I got the flu and I
still have this lingering cough.
(08:51):
So and here it is, in March.
So excuse me if I'm coughing,I'm sorry.
A lot of people they dealt withthis, whatever this lingering
flu virus, covid crap is, butnew verstrand or whatever.
Anyway, back to my story.
So I have seconds to react.
(09:15):
So I have emergency medication.
It's Ativan.
Ativan, when I normally take it, I take it.
It normally calms that feelingand it'll knock me out.
That's.
My doctor prescribed it for meand I had that prescription for
(09:38):
years because I mean, I only useit for emergencies.
So now my current neurologistshe actually gave me a type of
medication that I would.
It's a spray that I would use.
So this would it stops.
(09:58):
It's faster because you sprayit with men and nostrils and it
travels faster, instead of apill, because a pill, when
you're swallowing it, it'sslower to react within the body.
Anyway, yeah, so again, I haveseconds to react.
(10:20):
Sometimes I notice that when I'mwaiting because my doctor's
right it takes a while for thepill to kick in.
So when I'm waiting for thatpill to kick in, after I take it
, I have to.
I trained myself to just takeslow breaths and try and just
(10:46):
breathe and try and justmaneuver that energy as best as
I can, because the seizure Ifeel, it's literally a burst of
energy that if I hold, I'mholding on to it, but if I let
it go, that is the energy and itexplodes within my body.
(11:10):
That's what it feels like.
It's like an explosion.
If it's explosion, that's thegrand mal.
Seizure, that's as best as Ican explain it.
And I do everything in my powerto hold it.
And when I'm breathing, Ibreathe in and out slow, while
(11:33):
holding it and trying to remaincalm as best as I can and then
also letting the medication take.
Take, what's the word I'mlooking for, so it can take an
(11:53):
effect.
That's what I'm trying to say.
So I've had times where itactually happened.
I don't know if I said thisenough in my episode on the
journey.
I don't think it did, becausethat was when I did that.
(12:14):
I was in 2020.
So, no, I did not, but Iactually had to stop an episode
while I was driving.
Yeah, crazy, absolutely crazy.
So literally I was heading towork.
(12:35):
This is when I worked at was infederal, at DOD.
So I was driving to work andI'm like I left home and I kind
of felt I was like, okay, I'mokay, I must be tired or
something, because the nightbefore I went to bed, okay, I
(12:58):
took my medicine on time,because normally when you have
seizures, it's either lack forme, lack of sleep I don't take
my medicine on time, that's thething but I did everything
appropriately or stress, buteverything is appropriately.
So I don't know what's wrong.
(13:19):
But I was driving and I'm like,okay, I'm okay, so I'm still
driving.
And this was when I lived.
I was in Largo and I worked inclose to the DC-ish area.
(13:46):
So from my house to DC-ish,it's about like kind of like a
30, 40 minute drive or whatever.
So I'm driving, 20 minutes goesby and I'm like, oh crap, I
feel it, I know.
I'm like, oh crap, I don't feelgood, I can't turn around, I
(14:11):
can't go home, and I'm like,okay, if I get to the base, then
I can get to the base.
I can let the police know likeI'm about to have a seizure.
I need help ASAP.
I'm like halfway to the base,so I can't pull over anything.
(14:33):
So I'm like driving.
Mind you, I feel the energy, soI'm doing everything in my
power to hold it.
Mind you, this is the most.
This is the wrong thing you cando.
Anybody that has epilepsy oranything like that.
If you feel you better have aseizure, pull over.
(14:53):
Don't do what I did.
Do that at all.
Don't do that, because thatcould have been horrific.
I could end up having a seizurewhile driving, could have my
car, could have oh my God, Icould have hit somebody.
I could not be here right now,could have flipped, could have
(15:14):
died.
Somebody else could have died.
That could have been a horrificscene.
But yeah, if whoever, if you'relistening to this if you have a
seizure, if you feel likeyou're about to have a seizure,
you pull over, call 911 and letthem know, have the seizure in
the car and then, yeah, butwhile you're on the side of the
(15:39):
road, and always make sure youhave your emergency medical
alert bracelet on or any type ofemergency jewelry on.
That way, people will know thatyou are epilepting.
They don't think that you'retripping off some type of drugs
(16:04):
or something like that, that waythey can see.
But anyway, back to my story.
So I'm driving and I'm holdingon, holding off the seizure.
I'm holding off this energy,like literally it's inside me If
I don't hold it off.
And I know this.
I'm trying to focus on the road.
I'm trying to hold off theenergy.
(16:25):
I got several things in my headtrying to contend with traffic
on top of that, so, and then ontop of that, I get like I was
starting to get a littlelightheaded in the midst of
driving.
So all of these things are justhappening all at once and it
(16:49):
was insane.
I'm telling you all it wasinsane.
So I finally make it to the baseand they checked I was behind,
I think it was like a car orsomething.
They get to me and I said I'mabout to have a seizure, I need
your help ASAP, help me.
So they tell me to pull over.
(17:11):
I showed them my badge andeverything, and that's when I
just started.
I started to shake andeverything right then and there,
but I was, I started crying andeverything like that, because I
know when I start crying andstuff, and I know what's about
to happen.
So I call my boss or trainer,or something I think they well,
(17:31):
they either call out, I can'tremember, but anyway I think my
trainer came up, they was tryingto get to me and I ended up
going to the emergency room, butluckily I did not have that
grand mal seizure, it was just alittle excuse me, just a little
(17:54):
mini seizures, but I did notblack out or anything like that.
But yeah, that could have beencatastrophic.
But yeah, there was a time,though, that I was alone and I
(18:17):
was about to have a seizure, andthis was I was I'm trying to
say it was several times I wasabout to have seizures and one
time I ended up.
I was at home I can't remember.
This was either in South, Iwant to say just in South
Carolina and I was about to havea seizure and I ended up
(18:41):
falling down the stairs tryingto get, trying to rush to
somebody, yeah, and I fell onthe stairs.
But yeah, it's been some crazy,crazy stories.
I'm telling you crazy stories,but I want to read some facts to
you guys.
So, according to the EpilepsyFoundation, did you guys know
(19:08):
that African-Americans are morelikely to be diagnosed with
epilepsy than Caucasians.
Did y'all know that?
Because I didn't.
I didn't know that until I justpulled this fact up.
And we are more likely toexperience medical emergencies
related to epilepsy.
(19:29):
So that's kind of a tellingstat.
You know what I'm saying andaccording to the US Census
Bureau and Centers for DiseaseControl and Prevention, 578,000
African-Americans have epilepsyor a seizure disorder and over
(19:54):
25,000 African-Americans arediagnosed with seizures or
epilepsy each year.
And, in fact, african-americansare more likely to be diagnosed
with epilepsy more than whiteAmericans.
Like I just said, this is dueto several contributing factors,
(20:16):
such as strokes.
So and it's an estimated,25,000 African-Americans are
diagnosed with a new case ofepilepsy each year in the US.
So education is definitely thekey to changing the attitudes
(20:42):
and encouraging people inreference to individuals living
with epilepsy and how to treatsome of the deaths living with
epilepsy, as far as with propercare.
(21:04):
Now, the one thing that reallylike irritates the heck out of
me and I'm going to say thisupfront is when people play with
the lights, like flickering thelights back and forth and
(21:26):
trying to be funny about that.
That is my biggest pet peeve,because oh and that, and then
people fake and like they haveseizures, like doing this whole.
I hate that.
That is the most offensivething you can do to somebody
that has epilepsy.
That's the most offensive thingthat you can do.
(21:47):
That.
And then flickering lights,because one some of us are,
we're photosensitive and soflickering lights can cause
seizures With me.
I have extreme anxiety withflashing lights and stuff
(22:09):
because I just don't know ifthat's a trigger for me having a
seizure.
I don't want to find out.
So when I have, when there'sflickering lights and all this
stuff, that is like that'sextreme anxiety with me.
So no, don't do that.
So let's talk about some facts.
(22:37):
On the mental health side, wehave epilepsy.
So, yeah, we experiencedanxiety, we experienced
depression and anxiety is one ofa main problem because we're
always feeling anxious Meespecially.
I'm always feeling anxious.
Well, not always, but I was.
I did feel anxious because it'sa thing of like, especially
(23:02):
when I would sleep.
I don't know if other peoplethat have epilepsy they have a
use of.
I used to have issues doingthis sleep.
So I have a cutoff time where Ihave to be in the bed by maximum
(23:23):
3.30, 4 o'clock am the max.
If I'm not sleep, sleep by 4 amI am going to have a seizure.
There's no if ands buts aboutit.
I will have a seizure and it'sgonna be a grand mal seizure.
So yeah, I always like if, forsome reason, if I am having
(23:49):
trouble sleeping and it gets tothat point, my heart starts
racing and I'm like, oh my god,what is going on?
Why can't I sleep?
Oh my god, I'm gonna have aseizure.
Oh my god, and all thesethoughts just start racing
through your head, yep.
So that's a horrific feelingbecause then then like if, if
(24:14):
I'm in that problem, that meansI'm about to just cause it on
myself instead of just trying tojust breathe, focus and then
just go to sleep.
So that's what I've learned tonot do is not to just constantly
(24:36):
look at the time, it's just toactually one go to bed at a
reasonable time and I stay upsuper late because I wish I
could.
You know, I really sometimes Ireally do wish I could just go
out, you know, with some of myfriends and whatnot and do like
they do the help all night andstuff.
But I know my body, I can't dothat.
(24:59):
So that's why I tell peoplethey look, y'all go on, have fun
Me, I gotta be back at acertain time.
I got to be in bed at a certaintime.
Because I'm not in bed by acertain time, then, yeah, that
ain't gonna be good for none ofus.
I ain't trying to end up in ahospital because I mean, when
(25:21):
you have a seizure, you know you, some people in a seizure they
stop breathing.
So that's just.
It's always kind of a kind of afear.
I want to say that I have toask my mom this I think I have
stopped breathing when I havehad a grandma seizure.
(25:44):
I think I did.
When I had those, when I hadthose grandma seizures when I
was touring at USC, oh, that wasa horrible, horrible day too.
Yeah, when I was in a collegetour at US University, south
Carolina, everything was goingfine.
(26:09):
I got accepted to theUniversity of South Carolina,
everything was fine, and thenall of a sudden have a grandma
seizure in the college tour.
Who does that?
This guy?
You know I was pissed, I washurt, I was mad, because then
(26:30):
that changed my whole entirecollege career, that, yeah, I
had to not go to school at USC.
Yeah, that was.
That's a long story, that's foranother time, but yeah, that
(26:52):
was, that was crazy and thatbrought on some depression too.
But yeah that I ended up havinga seizure during the college
tour, anyway.
But back to back to what I wassaying.
So this is another fact around16% of adults actually in London
(27:20):
has some symptoms of depressionbecause of dealing with
epilepsy.
So links between epilepsy andtheir mood.
You do have some mood effectsbut that is because, like,
taking different types ofmedications affects your mood.
(27:41):
So when I was on Keppra Keppra,they changed me from deprecote
to Keppra.
Keppra was a evil, evilmedication for me.
I got so evil and so mean.
(28:03):
My whole personality was notthis bubbly thing that y'all
know me for, I was evil.
My mom can tell you I was evilLike I was a whole another
person and it was bad.
Like some people do fine withKeppra Me, I was not that person
(28:28):
and they had to get me off thatmedication ASAP because I
turned into.
It was like a Dr Jekyll, mrHyde, it was horrible.
But yeah, medicationsdefinitely will change moods,
(28:51):
but some things that you can dothat make sure you do.
As far as with to help somebodyduring an episode.
Do not and I repeat, do not puta spoon in anybody's mouth.
(29:14):
I'm gonna read to you the do'sand don'ts.
I'm gonna pull it up.
See, y'all can do.
(29:39):
Not try and stop movements orhold us down.
We become very strong when wehave an incision, like we become
very strong.
So don't put anything in ourmouth, don't try and shift us
(30:00):
unless we are near something andit's unsafe, like stairs or
water or something like that.
Again, do not put anything inour mouth, because we're not
gonna swallow our tongue.
That's a myth.
We're not gonna do it.
Just guide us from danger,remove harmful objects around us
(30:23):
and make sure you're cushioningour head and then stay with us
until we have recovered and call911.
Biggest thing just let it happen.
Let it happen and once it'shappened, call 911 and then it's
(30:43):
gonna be a horrific sight tosee.
I don't ever want to see myselfhave one because from what I've
been told, it's not a goodsight to see.
So I don't want to see myselfhaving one.
But, yeah, just be prepared tosee something that you know you
(31:04):
don't want to see.
Then, when that person comes orcomes about, they're going to
be very tired because when wehave a seizure, when we're done,
we have used up all of ourenergy.
Like energy, we were tired, wehave nothing left, so there's
(31:31):
nothing.
So most of the time I'm either,when I wake up, I don't
remember.
I don't remember what happened,I just know that I'm in the
hospital when I wake up.
So that's your best bet is tocall the ambulance and then,
(31:52):
yeah, that's my suggestion, butI can't speak for everybody's.
Other people deal withdifferent types of their
situations accordingly, yeah, soagain, just, whatever you do,
do not put anything insomebody's mouth.
(32:14):
Now, if you have questions,feel free to message me, reach
out and everything I got you.
I want to talk about thedifferent types of seizures and
I want to make sure that I ampronouncing these correctly.
(32:35):
So there are, there's arethere's the generalized seizures
, the focal seizures, and thenthere's unknown seizures.
(32:56):
Generalized seizures peoplewith this type epilepsy.
They're affected on the bothleft and right sides of the
brain.
Additionally, these seizuresmay be either motor, which
involves physical movement, ornon motor, which do not give me
(33:20):
just a second.
So with generalized seizures,absent seizures sometimes can
call sometimes called petitemouth seizures, can cause rapid
blinking or a few seconds ofstaring into space, tonic,
(33:42):
chronic seizures, which is apart of that.
Generalized seizures is alsocalled grand mal seizures and
can make a person cry out, loseconsciousness, fall to the
ground, have muscle jerks orspasms.
This may feel.
The person may feel tired aftera tonic chronic seizure.
So grandma seizures, alsocalled a tonic chronic seizure.
(34:06):
Just remember that Now yourfocal seizures are located in
just one area of the brain.
These seizures are also calledpartial seizures.
Simple focal seizures affect asmall part of the brain.
This is on the CDC dot gov Ifyou want to get more information
(34:26):
for this.
This simple focal seizuresaffect a small part of the brain
.
These seizures can causeswitching or change in
sensations, such as strange orsmell.
You have your complex.
Complex focal seizures can makea person with epilepsy confused
or days.
The person will be unable torespond to questions or
(34:49):
direction for up to a fewminutes.
Then you also have yoursecondary generalized seizures,
which begins in one part of thebrain but then spreads to both
sides of the brain.
In other words, the personfirst has a focal seizure
followed by a generalizedseizure.
So where's that describesgeneralized seizures?
(35:11):
Again, tonic muscles in thebody becomes stiff.
A tonic muscles in the bodyrelax Myoclonic.
The short jerking and parts ofthe body.
Chronic periods of shaking orjerking parts of on the body and
again call 911 if the seizurelasts more than five minutes.
(35:35):
Now all seizures areemergencies.
So just remember that now allseizures are emergencies.
Keep track of how long theseizures last Call 911 if a
seizure lasts more than fiveminutes or if the person gets
injured during the seizure.
So my seizures.
(35:56):
I was diagnosed with JMA, whichis juvenile myoclonic.
I have jerking of the.
I have jerking, so my body theyjerk.
So my hand, my body would jerk,my hand jerks, leg would jerk
or whatever, but my.
(36:17):
That's what.
I was initially diagnosed withmy neurologist back in South
Carolina and did not alwaysagree with that, but she agreed.
I forgot which one she saidthat I had.
It's been so long I can'tremember.
(36:39):
If you want to know you can askmy mom or, better yet, I think
she said it.
Go back to my journey.
She said in the episode butyeah, this is see, this is why
you have a.
Have a good reference Because,again, y'all know my short term
(37:02):
memory, but anyway, so yeah, Ihave tonic, I have tonic
seizures.
So when my seizures were badback in during my early part of
(37:26):
the years, it was talks that Imay have had surgery.
So that was the thing of wherethey was either going to implant
something in my arm or they wasgoing to ask at the brain
surgery.
So imagine hearing that thatwas rather difficult for me.
(37:48):
So, yeah, I was like I'm nothaving brain surgery because the
wrong thing where you snippedsomething wrong, that means I
would not be able to walkproperly or, you know, talk
properly, remember just, thingscan go horrifically wrong.
(38:13):
So, but now, with the dosage ofmedication I'm on now I'm fine.
So still have you know,challenges of what night every
now and again, but overall I'mfine.
I haven't had any episodes andanything like that.
So all is well with me.
(38:34):
Yeah, so I thank you guys forlistening to my journey.
I'm going to say a journey parttoo, so, so, yeah, I can
actually get a deeper view intowhat it is to be me.
(38:54):
Oh, before I go, so learningseizure, first aid, because
about one out of 10 people withthis I'm still on CDC dot gov,
so if you want to get thisinformation, just go on CDC dot
gov, and I'm reading all of thisoff their website so about one
in 10 people may have a seizureduring their lifetime.
So what do you do?
(39:15):
Of course you call.
Do you call 911?
Now I'll see, just require youto call 911, but If it's seizure
last longer than five minutesthat we you would need to call
them.
Person that has another seizuresoon after than the first one.
When I first got diagnosed Ihad six in a row.
(39:35):
So naturally, yes, if theseizure happens in water, of
course call 911.
Person is hurt call 911.
Stay with them until theseizure ends.
Come for the person and speakto them calmly.
Check to see if the person iswearing a medical bracelet or
(39:59):
any other emergency information.
That's our tele-invited thathave seizures.
Make sure you have youremergency bracelets.
He's a first day for generalizedtonic-clonic grandma seizures.
When most people think of aseizure, they think of
(40:21):
generalized tonic-clonic seizureand things that you can do to
help somebody who's having thattype of seizure.
Ease them to the floor, turnthat person gently onto one side
, clear the area around theperson of any heart sharp
objects put in the, putsomething soft and flat like a
(40:42):
folded jacket under their head,removed eyeglasses, loosened
ties or anything around theirneck and then, of course, time
the seizure, called 911 if theseizure lasts long.
And again, we already went overwhat not to do by my side again
(41:02):
.
Do not hold the person down,don't put anything in the
person's mouth again.
Do not try to give mouth tomouth CPR people use to start
breathing again on their ownafter a seizure and do not offer
the person water food until heor she is fully alert.
That's another thing.
(41:24):
So I thank you guys for tuningin and yeah, so I like these
one-on-ones.
So the next time we're gonna betalking about PTSD yeah,
(41:46):
because I ain't done that oneyet.
But on that note, I'll seey'all later.
Bye.
What's up everybody.
It's your boy, anthony.
Welcome to another edition ofSpade, the podcast.
What's going on, y'all?
So I'm doing something a littledifferent this time.
Okay, I'm not going to have apanel this time, it's just going
to be me.
Yeah, boy, like this is thefirst time I've done this, so
(00:51):
I'm nervous, like normally.
I'm with people, so I'm bymyself, like nobody's here, I'm
not mediating or anything likethat.
So it's kind of weird, but it'sall good though.
So I decided that this time Iwanted to actually do.
(01:15):
I'm actually going to startdoing some episodes by myself
now, and I'm going to still dosome.
You know I'm still going to dopanel episodes as well, but I'm
also going to incorporate somestuff by myself.
That way y'all can get to knowme more.
You know what I'm sayingBecause I'm always on the panel
and I'm mediating, so you hearmy guests and stuff, but you
(01:37):
never hear from me.
So it's time that I'm a littlemore personable.
You know what I'm saying.
So this particular episode, I'mactually going to talk about a
subject that I've actuallydiscussed my first season that
(01:58):
maybe some of you othersubscribers, my newer
subscribers don't know about.
I don't know if you guys havefully listened to my first
season, but in 2004, I wasdiagnosed with epilepsy and so
with that I shared my journey on, like how I was diagnosed.
(02:24):
I had my mom on the episode andshe recalled some of the events
that I cannot remember, becausewith epilepsy I do suffer from
short-term memory lossnessbecause of the medication and I
take in everything like that.
So recalling certain events iskind of difficult for me.
(02:45):
But sorry, this particularepisode, I'm not going to
necessarily do that again, butI'm going to just kind of take a
different spin on it, because Irealize that I haven't talked
(03:07):
about epilepsy like thatthroughout my whole parkas.
I've only talked about it onetime.
And also I haven't talked aboutPTSD either, which is crazy
because those are the twoletters in spade, like what.
(03:30):
But PTSD does definitely comein like ASAP, because that's
long overdue.
But yeah, with this episode,yeah, I am going to go ahead and
dive right on into this.
So we are going to get started.
(03:50):
So be right back, all right.
So when people hear about, whenpeople hear the term epilepsy,
(04:11):
some people are like, okay, whatis epilepsy?
What does that mean?
Epilepsy is another term forseizures, so just want to get
y'all get that clear Seizures isa.
It's a condition.
A condition I mean All right.
(05:33):
So some people don't know theterm.
What is epilepsy?
Epilepsy is the I guess youcould say the professional term
for seizure.
So seizure is a sudden,uncontrolled burst of electrical
(06:04):
activity within the brain andso with the seizure it can cause
changes within your behavior.
It can cause like movements,feelings, levels of
consciousness, and your symptomsof a seizure it may vary.
(06:30):
So, for example, my symptomsare I know when I'm about to
have a seizure because I have aaura.
You may hear that term withindividuals that have seizures.
They may say they have an auraor a feeling, and you're
(06:55):
probably like okay, what doesthe aura mean?
It's hard to explain.
I can't tell you what that is.
It's to me and this can bedifferent for any and everybody
(07:15):
and aura feels like a sensationof kind of a how can I put it
(07:35):
energy.
So I feel, when I know I'mabout to have a seizure, I feel
it's like a rush of I don't wantto say excitement, but the
feeling is that, but it's fear.
So it's that plus fear and it'sjust that type of energy and I
(08:05):
feel it and it's like I that'swhen I know I'm about to have it
and I have seconds to act tostop it.
To stop it, what I would use isto I would have a emergency
(08:30):
medication and my doctor sorryif I'm coughing y'all, I am
still getting over this cough.
I got sick in the month ofJanuary, I got the flu and I
still have this lingering cough.
(08:51):
So and here it is, in March.
So excuse me if I'm coughing,I'm sorry.
A lot of people they dealt withthis, whatever this lingering
flu virus, covid crap is, butnew verstrand or whatever.
Anyway, back to my story.
So I have seconds to react.
(09:15):
So I have emergency medication.
It's Ativan.
Ativan, when I normally take it, I take it.
It normally calms that feelingand it'll knock me out.
That's.
My doctor prescribed it for meand I had that prescription for
(09:38):
years because I mean, I only useit for emergencies.
So now my current neurologistshe actually gave me a type of
medication that I would.
It's a spray that I would use.
So this would it stops.
(09:58):
It's faster because you sprayit with men and nostrils and it
travels faster, instead of apill, because a pill, when
you're swallowing it, it'sslower to react within the body.
Anyway, yeah, so again, I haveseconds to react.
(10:20):
Sometimes I notice that when I'mwaiting because my doctor's
right it takes a while for thepill to kick in.
So when I'm waiting for thatpill to kick in, after I take it
, I have to.
I trained myself to just takeslow breaths and try and just
(10:46):
breathe and try and justmaneuver that energy as best as
I can, because the seizure Ifeel, it's literally a burst of
energy that if I hold, I'mholding on to it, but if I let
it go, that is the energy and itexplodes within my body.
(11:10):
That's what it feels like.
It's like an explosion.
If it's explosion, that's thegrand mal.
Seizure, that's as best as Ican explain it.
And I do everything in my powerto hold it.
And when I'm breathing, Ibreathe in and out slow, while
(11:33):
holding it and trying to remaincalm as best as I can and then
also letting the medication take.
Take, what's the word I'mlooking for, so it can take an
(11:53):
effect.
That's what I'm trying to say.
So I've had times where itactually happened.
I don't know if I said thisenough in my episode on the
journey.
I don't think it did, becausethat was when I did that.
(12:14):
I was in 2020.
So, no, I did not, but Iactually had to stop an episode
while I was driving.
Yeah, crazy, absolutely crazy.
So literally I was heading towork.
(12:35):
This is when I worked at was infederal, at DOD.
So I was driving to work andI'm like I left home and I kind
of felt I was like, okay, I'mokay, I must be tired or
something, because the nightbefore I went to bed, okay, I
(12:58):
took my medicine on time,because normally when you have
seizures, it's either lack forme, lack of sleep I don't take
my medicine on time, that's thething but I did everything
appropriately or stress, buteverything is appropriately.
So I don't know what's wrong.
(13:19):
But I was driving and I'm like,okay, I'm okay, so I'm still
driving.
And this was when I lived.
I was in Largo and I worked inclose to the DC-ish area.
(13:46):
So from my house to DC-ish,it's about like kind of like a
30, 40 minute drive or whatever.
So I'm driving, 20 minutes goesby and I'm like, oh crap, I
feel it, I know.
I'm like, oh crap, I don't feelgood, I can't turn around, I
(14:11):
can't go home, and I'm like,okay, if I get to the base, then
I can get to the base.
I can let the police know likeI'm about to have a seizure.
I need help ASAP.
I'm like halfway to the base,so I can't pull over anything.
(14:33):
So I'm like driving.
Mind you, I feel the energy, soI'm doing everything in my
power to hold it.
Mind you, this is the most.
This is the wrong thing you cando.
Anybody that has epilepsy oranything like that.
If you feel you better have aseizure, pull over.
(14:53):
Don't do what I did.
Do that at all.
Don't do that, because thatcould have been horrific.
I could end up having a seizurewhile driving, could have my
car, could have oh my God, Icould have hit somebody.
I could not be here right now,could have flipped, could have
(15:14):
died.
Somebody else could have died.
That could have been a horrificscene.
But yeah, if whoever, if you'relistening to this if you have a
seizure, if you feel likeyou're about to have a seizure,
you pull over, call 911 and letthem know, have the seizure in
the car and then, yeah, butwhile you're on the side of the
(15:39):
road, and always make sure youhave your emergency medical
alert bracelet on or any type ofemergency jewelry on.
That way, people will know thatyou are epilepting.
They don't think that you'retripping off some type of drugs
(16:04):
or something like that, that waythey can see.
But anyway, back to my story.
So I'm driving and I'm holdingon, holding off the seizure.
I'm holding off this energy,like literally it's inside me If
I don't hold it off.
And I know this.
I'm trying to focus on the road.
I'm trying to hold off theenergy.
(16:25):
I got several things in my headtrying to contend with traffic
on top of that, so, and then ontop of that, I get like I was
starting to get a littlelightheaded in the midst of
driving.
So all of these things are justhappening all at once and it
(16:49):
was insane.
I'm telling you all it wasinsane.
So I finally make it to the baseand they checked I was behind,
I think it was like a car orsomething.
They get to me and I said I'mabout to have a seizure, I need
your help ASAP, help me.
So they tell me to pull over.
(17:11):
I showed them my badge andeverything, and that's when I
just started.
I started to shake andeverything right then and there,
but I was, I started crying andeverything like that, because I
know when I start crying andstuff, and I know what's about
to happen.
So I call my boss or trainer,or something I think they well,
(17:31):
they either call out, I can'tremember, but anyway I think my
trainer came up, they was tryingto get to me and I ended up
going to the emergency room, butluckily I did not have that
grand mal seizure, it was just alittle excuse me, just a little
(17:54):
mini seizures, but I did notblack out or anything like that.
But yeah, that could have beencatastrophic.
But yeah, there was a time,though, that I was alone and I
(18:17):
was about to have a seizure, andthis was I was I'm trying to
say it was several times I wasabout to have seizures and one
time I ended up.
I was at home I can't remember.
This was either in South, Iwant to say just in South
Carolina and I was about to havea seizure and I ended up
(18:41):
falling down the stairs tryingto get, trying to rush to
somebody, yeah, and I fell onthe stairs.
But yeah, it's been some crazy,crazy stories.
I'm telling you crazy stories,but I want to read some facts to
you guys.
So, according to the EpilepsyFoundation, did you guys know
(19:08):
that African-Americans are morelikely to be diagnosed with
epilepsy than Caucasians.
Did y'all know that?
Because I didn't.
I didn't know that until I justpulled this fact up.
And we are more likely toexperience medical emergencies
related to epilepsy.
(19:29):
So that's kind of a tellingstat.
You know what I'm saying andaccording to the US Census
Bureau and Centers for DiseaseControl and Prevention, 578,000
African-Americans have epilepsyor a seizure disorder and over
(19:54):
25,000 African-Americans arediagnosed with seizures or
epilepsy each year.
And, in fact, african-americansare more likely to be diagnosed
with epilepsy more than whiteAmericans.
Like I just said, this is dueto several contributing factors,
(20:16):
such as strokes.
So and it's an estimated,25,000 African-Americans are
diagnosed with a new case ofepilepsy each year in the US.
So education is definitely thekey to changing the attitudes
(20:42):
and encouraging people inreference to individuals living
with epilepsy and how to treatsome of the deaths living with
epilepsy, as far as with propercare.
(21:04):
Now, the one thing that reallylike irritates the heck out of
me and I'm going to say thisupfront is when people play with
the lights, like flickering thelights back and forth and
(21:26):
trying to be funny about that.
That is my biggest pet peeve,because oh and that, and then
people fake and like they haveseizures, like doing this whole.
I hate that.
That is the most offensivething you can do to somebody
that has epilepsy.
That's the most offensive thingthat you can do.
(21:47):
That.
And then flickering lights,because one some of us are,
we're photosensitive and soflickering lights can cause
seizures With me.
I have extreme anxiety withflashing lights and stuff
(22:09):
because I just don't know ifthat's a trigger for me having a
seizure.
I don't want to find out.
So when I have, when there'sflickering lights and all this
stuff, that is like that'sextreme anxiety with me.
So no, don't do that.
So let's talk about some facts.
(22:37):
On the mental health side, wehave epilepsy.
So, yeah, we experiencedanxiety, we experienced
depression and anxiety is one ofa main problem because we're
always feeling anxious Meespecially.
I'm always feeling anxious.
Well, not always, but I was.
I did feel anxious because it'sa thing of like, especially
(23:02):
when I would sleep.
I don't know if other peoplethat have epilepsy they have a
use of.
I used to have issues doingthis sleep.
So I have a cutoff time where Ihave to be in the bed by maximum
(23:23):
3.30, 4 o'clock am the max.
If I'm not sleep, sleep by 4 amI am going to have a seizure.
There's no if ands buts aboutit.
I will have a seizure and it'sgonna be a grand mal seizure.
So yeah, I always like if, forsome reason, if I am having
(23:49):
trouble sleeping and it gets tothat point, my heart starts
racing and I'm like, oh my god,what is going on?
Why can't I sleep?
Oh my god, I'm gonna have aseizure.
Oh my god, and all thesethoughts just start racing
through your head, yep.
So that's a horrific feelingbecause then then like if, if
(24:14):
I'm in that problem, that meansI'm about to just cause it on
myself instead of just trying tojust breathe, focus and then
just go to sleep.
So that's what I've learned tonot do is not to just constantly
(24:36):
look at the time, it's just toactually one go to bed at a
reasonable time and I stay upsuper late because I wish I
could.
You know, I really sometimes Ireally do wish I could just go
out, you know, with some of myfriends and whatnot and do like
they do the help all night andstuff.
But I know my body, I can't dothat.
(24:59):
So that's why I tell peoplethey look, y'all go on, have fun
Me, I gotta be back at acertain time.
I got to be in bed at a certaintime.
Because I'm not in bed by acertain time, then, yeah, that
ain't gonna be good for none ofus.
I ain't trying to end up in ahospital because I mean, when
(25:21):
you have a seizure, you know you, some people in a seizure they
stop breathing.
So that's just.
It's always kind of a kind of afear.
I want to say that I have toask my mom this I think I have
stopped breathing when I havehad a grandma seizure.
(25:44):
I think I did.
When I had those, when I hadthose grandma seizures when I
was touring at USC, oh, that wasa horrible, horrible day too.
Yeah, when I was in a collegetour at US University, south
Carolina, everything was goingfine.
(26:09):
I got accepted to theUniversity of South Carolina,
everything was fine, and thenall of a sudden have a grandma
seizure in the college tour.
Who does that?
This guy?
You know I was pissed, I washurt, I was mad, because then
(26:30):
that changed my whole entirecollege career, that, yeah, I
had to not go to school at USC.
Yeah, that was.
That's a long story, that's foranother time, but yeah, that
(26:52):
was, that was crazy and thatbrought on some depression too.
But yeah that I ended up havinga seizure during the college
tour, anyway.
But back to back to what I wassaying.
So this is another fact around16% of adults actually in London
(27:20):
has some symptoms of depressionbecause of dealing with
epilepsy.
So links between epilepsy andtheir mood.
You do have some mood effectsbut that is because, like,
taking different types ofmedications affects your mood.
(27:41):
So when I was on Keppra Keppra,they changed me from deprecote
to Keppra.
Keppra was a evil, evilmedication for me.
I got so evil and so mean.
(28:03):
My whole personality was notthis bubbly thing that y'all
know me for, I was evil.
My mom can tell you I was evilLike I was a whole another
person and it was bad.
Like some people do fine withKeppra Me, I was not that person
(28:28):
and they had to get me off thatmedication ASAP because I
turned into.
It was like a Dr Jekyll, mrHyde, it was horrible.
But yeah, medicationsdefinitely will change moods,
(28:51):
but some things that you can dothat make sure you do.
As far as with to help somebodyduring an episode.
Do not and I repeat, do not puta spoon in anybody's mouth.
(29:14):
I'm gonna read to you the do'sand don'ts.
I'm gonna pull it up.
See, y'all can do.
(29:39):
Not try and stop movements orhold us down.
We become very strong when wehave an incision, like we become
very strong.
So don't put anything in ourmouth, don't try and shift us
(30:00):
unless we are near something andit's unsafe, like stairs or
water or something like that.
Again, do not put anything inour mouth, because we're not
gonna swallow our tongue.
That's a myth.
We're not gonna do it.
Just guide us from danger,remove harmful objects around us
(30:23):
and make sure you're cushioningour head and then stay with us
until we have recovered and call911.
Biggest thing just let it happen.
Let it happen and once it'shappened, call 911 and then it's
(30:43):
gonna be a horrific sight tosee.
I don't ever want to see myselfhave one because from what I've
been told, it's not a goodsight to see.
So I don't want to see myselfhaving one.
But, yeah, just be prepared tosee something that you know you
(31:04):
don't want to see.
Then, when that person comes orcomes about, they're going to
be very tired because when wehave a seizure, when we're done,
we have used up all of ourenergy.
Like energy, we were tired, wehave nothing left, so there's
(31:31):
nothing.
So most of the time I'm either,when I wake up, I don't
remember.
I don't remember what happened,I just know that I'm in the
hospital when I wake up.
So that's your best bet is tocall the ambulance and then,
(31:52):
yeah, that's my suggestion, butI can't speak for everybody's.
Other people deal withdifferent types of their
situations accordingly, yeah, soagain, just, whatever you do,
do not put anything insomebody's mouth.
(32:14):
Now, if you have questions,feel free to message me, reach
out and everything I got you.
I want to talk about thedifferent types of seizures and
I want to make sure that I ampronouncing these correctly.
(32:35):
So there are, there's arethere's the generalized seizures
, the focal seizures, and thenthere's unknown seizures.
(32:56):
Generalized seizures peoplewith this type epilepsy.
They're affected on the bothleft and right sides of the
brain.
Additionally, these seizuresmay be either motor, which
involves physical movement, ornon motor, which do not give me
(33:20):
just a second.
So with generalized seizures,absent seizures sometimes can
call sometimes called petitemouth seizures, can cause rapid
blinking or a few seconds ofstaring into space, tonic,
(33:42):
chronic seizures, which is apart of that.
Generalized seizures is alsocalled grand mal seizures and
can make a person cry out, loseconsciousness, fall to the
ground, have muscle jerks orspasms.
This may feel.
The person may feel tired aftera tonic chronic seizure.
So grandma seizures, alsocalled a tonic chronic seizure.
(34:06):
Just remember that Now yourfocal seizures are located in
just one area of the brain.
These seizures are also calledpartial seizures.
Simple focal seizures affect asmall part of the brain.
This is on the CDC dot gov Ifyou want to get more information
(34:26):
for this.
This simple focal seizuresaffect a small part of the brain
.
These seizures can causeswitching or change in
sensations, such as strange orsmell.
You have your complex.
Complex focal seizures can makea person with epilepsy confused
or days.
The person will be unable torespond to questions or
(34:49):
direction for up to a fewminutes.
Then you also have yoursecondary generalized seizures,
which begins in one part of thebrain but then spreads to both
sides of the brain.
In other words, the personfirst has a focal seizure
followed by a generalizedseizure.
So where's that describesgeneralized seizures?
(35:11):
Again, tonic muscles in thebody becomes stiff.
A tonic muscles in the bodyrelax Myoclonic.
The short jerking and parts ofthe body.
Chronic periods of shaking orjerking parts of on the body and
again call 911 if the seizurelasts more than five minutes.
(35:35):
Now all seizures areemergencies.
So just remember that now allseizures are emergencies.
Keep track of how long theseizures last Call 911 if a
seizure lasts more than fiveminutes or if the person gets
injured during the seizure.
So my seizures.
(35:56):
I was diagnosed with JMA, whichis juvenile myoclonic.
I have jerking of the.
I have jerking, so my body theyjerk.
So my hand, my body would jerk,my hand jerks, leg would jerk
or whatever, but my.
(36:17):
That's what.
I was initially diagnosed withmy neurologist back in South
Carolina and did not alwaysagree with that, but she agreed.
I forgot which one she saidthat I had.
It's been so long I can'tremember.
(36:39):
If you want to know you can askmy mom or, better yet, I think
she said it.
Go back to my journey.
She said in the episode butyeah, this is see, this is why
you have a.
Have a good reference Because,again, y'all know my short term
(37:02):
memory, but anyway, so yeah, Ihave tonic, I have tonic
seizures.
So when my seizures were badback in during my early part of
(37:26):
the years, it was talks that Imay have had surgery.
So that was the thing of wherethey was either going to implant
something in my arm or they wasgoing to ask at the brain
surgery.
So imagine hearing that thatwas rather difficult for me.
(37:48):
So, yeah, I was like I'm nothaving brain surgery because the
wrong thing where you snippedsomething wrong, that means I
would not be able to walkproperly or, you know, talk
properly, remember just, thingscan go horrifically wrong.
(38:13):
So, but now, with the dosage ofmedication I'm on now I'm fine.
So still have you know,challenges of what night every
now and again, but overall I'mfine.
I haven't had any episodes andanything like that.
So all is well with me.
(38:34):
Yeah, so I thank you guys forlistening to my journey.
I'm going to say a journey parttoo, so, so, yeah, I can
actually get a deeper view intowhat it is to be me.
(38:54):
Oh, before I go, so learningseizure, first aid, because
about one out of 10 people withthis I'm still on CDC dot gov,
so if you want to get thisinformation, just go on CDC dot
gov, and I'm reading all of thisoff their website so about one
in 10 people may have a seizureduring their lifetime.
So what do you do?
(39:15):
Of course you call.
Do you call 911?
Now I'll see, just require youto call 911, but If it's seizure
last longer than five minutesthat we you would need to call
them.
Person that has another seizuresoon after than the first one.
When I first got diagnosed Ihad six in a row.
(39:35):
So naturally, yes, if theseizure happens in water, of
course call 911.
Person is hurt call 911.
Stay with them until theseizure ends.
Come for the person and speakto them calmly.
Check to see if the person iswearing a medical bracelet or
(39:59):
any other emergency information.
That's our tele-invited thathave seizures.
Make sure you have youremergency bracelets.
He's a first day for generalizedtonic-clonic grandma seizures.
When most people think of aseizure, they think of
(40:21):
generalized tonic-clonic seizureand things that you can do to
help somebody who's having thattype of seizure.
Ease them to the floor, turnthat person gently onto one side
, clear the area around theperson of any heart sharp
objects put in the, putsomething soft and flat like a
(40:42):
folded jacket under their head,removed eyeglasses, loosened
ties or anything around theirneck and then, of course, time
the seizure, called 911 if theseizure lasts long.
And again, we already went overwhat not to do by my side again
(41:02):
.
Do not hold the person down,don't put anything in the
person's mouth again.
Do not try to give mouth tomouth CPR people use to start
breathing again on their ownafter a seizure and do not offer
the person water food until heor she is fully alert.
That's another thing.
(41:24):
So I thank you guys for tuningin and yeah, so I like these
one-on-ones.
So the next time we're gonna betalking about PTSD yeah,
(41:46):
because I ain't done that oneyet.
But on that note, I'll seey'all later.
Bye.
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