January 20, 2025 • 26 mins
Unlock the secrets to transformative parenting with Carli Saber, a veteran Psyche-K facilitator and Montessori educator. In this episode, we discuss how Psyche-K, a unique approach to reprogramming the subconscious, can reshape family dynamics.
Venture with us into the world of emotional development as we tackle the learning hurdles children face, with a focus on the pivotal tween and teenage years. Carli shares practical wisdom on mitigating anxiety and combating limiting beliefs that can impede learning, particularly in areas like mathematics. This conversation is a must-listen for anyone striving to support the emotional growth of young ones at home, as we explore the delicate balance between nurturing and inadvertently reinforcing anxieties.
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You can find out more about Carli and Psych-K on her website, or connect with her on Facebook or Instagram.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to Speak Out.
Stand Out.
I'm Elizabeth Green and today'sguest is Carly Saber.
Carly is a Psyche K facilitatorand a trained Montessori
teacher.
She is also a self-proclaimedgeek about supporting human
development in a deep andholistic way.
She works with moms, familiesand kids of all ages to clear
stress, anxiety and limitingbeliefs on a subconscious level,
(00:23):
with the goal of helping peoplefeel empowered and confident.
To pair it in a calm andregulated way.
Carly, super excited to haveyou here to chat about things.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Thank you for having me.
I'm super excited.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Carly, first and foremost, really my main
question is to start is whatdoes Psyche K mean and how does
it apply to parenting?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Awesome.
Psyche K is psychology and thenit's Psyche.
So like psychology and thendash K.
The K stands for the key to thepsyche, because it is a healing
modality that helps you connectto your subconscious,
specifically your subconsciousdeletes.
(01:11):
The originator, rob Williams,who created the name Psyche K,
was like he saw it as thismissing piece.
We speak a lot, we're alwaystalking with our conscious mind,
but actually delving into thatsubconscious and understanding
what's really going in there andsubconsciously driving our
(01:31):
emotions or our behaviors wasthe key to the psyche.
It's the modality that cansupport you get into nitty
gritty places in your brain tosupport deeper and better growth
.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Okay, well, that makes sense, but I have always
thought that not Psyche K but asyour subconscious, is something
that when I think about thatand accessing myself, my
subconscious, I think aboutbeing hypnotized or something.
But that's not what we'retalking about right.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Yeah, you're not hypnotized at all.
Hypnotism is another process.
Like hypnotist therapy, theyalso connect to your
subconscious.
There's lots of different typeof modalities that connect to
your subconscious and this isjust one of many which I found
and I love, and it's so quickand simple and you can do it
with children.
(02:23):
You can do it with parents forchildren.
So, yeah, you're not hypnotized.
It's not completely differentto hypnotism, but they both
connect.
They're speaking and connectingto the subconscious.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Okay, got it.
That makes sense.
So this might be an obviousquestion, but why do we care?
Why do we want to tap into oursubconscious, particularly when
it comes to parenting?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Awesome.
So before the age of seven achild is, their brain isn't
fully developed.
They're two parts of the brain,they're forming and only at
around the age of six and sevendo they completely form.
So in like a Steiner school ora Steiner, you know Steiner
theories.
They say a child shouldn'treally read or write or pick up
(03:14):
a pen before that time.
The formation of that brain.
In a Montessori setting theyhave different kind of ages and
stages and when they get to agesix they change from a very
different set up, preparedenvironment to now suit the
needs of this new braindevelopment.
And you'll see it, if you haveyour own child and you're
observant, you'll see thatthere's this, this developmental
(03:36):
milestone.
They might ask more deepquestions.
They want to know why they letgo of the family a little bit
more and they become more social.
So you've probably observed itor seen it in your children and
before that age children aresubconsciously taking on
anything and everything.
And we even say thatgenetically you take on things
(03:59):
before birth from your parents.
So say, for example, a fewgenerations down you know your
family, someone in your familywent through war and now your
child lives safely and happilyin your home.
But there's still these beliefsin the genetic genes about
relationships or money that comeinto play and if your child
(04:22):
hasn't taken it on, you mighthave taken it on and then
they're going to observe it inyou.
So connecting to thesubconscious allows a child and
allows you to clear thesebeliefs that you might not even
know you have consciously, thatare switching on a pattern or a
behavior or a fight flight,anxious response in you that you
(04:43):
don't want, that your bodydoesn't need, that you don't
need anymore because you're notin a war-torn experience and
there's no need to have it.
And it might be stopping you oryour children from their
potential or even maybe causingproblems.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Okay, so and this might be too a simplified
question but how do we do this?
How do we access thesubconscious so that we are, you
know, we're not creatinganxiety in ourselves and passing
it on to our kids?
Speaker 2 (05:12):
So that's what I do.
As a site care facilitator.
I work with parents or childrenas well.
I have children that I workwith from five years old all the
way up to 16 year old teenagers, you know, and I am even
working with grandparents.
So I've got a array of clients.
And with this modality youmuscle test, so muscle tests.
(05:36):
You know, with kinesiology orother muscle tests or
chiropractic practitioners, theyuse muscle testing to maybe
connect to deficiencies in thebody.
But this is a simple way thatyou can connect to the
subconscious and if you muscletest, a strong test, it means
it's fine.
But if there's a weak test,there's a fight flight response
there.
So your body's kind of goinginto panic towards a situation
(05:59):
or belief.
And the cool thing is I can dothe muscle testing on people's
behalf.
And then, if it's a week,through the process we connect
to you know, if it's a week, wedo something called a whole
brain position and that's prettymuch re allowing you to
experience the position with whyyour body is all communicating
(06:22):
and connecting and all parts ofyour brain are talking to say
hold on, in this situation I amsafe, my body can be safe, my
brain can be safe, I can accessand Reese, connect to this
situation easily and you know,if you, you know, consciously go
, I've got this issue.
It makes me feel really anxious, I know.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
I shouldn't be anxious about it.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
And then you go the next day and you're like I've
got this issue and I still feelanxious about it.
It's very hard to train yourbrain.
You know it's possible throughexposure, bear exposure, therapy
, to train your brain to go.
I don't need to go into thisfight flight response, but
through site K.
This is a very quick and easyway to go to let your body know
(07:07):
it doesn't need to switch on the.
You know that amygdala, thepart of the brain that goes I'm,
there's a fire in the room.
I've got to escape.
And just to add, it seems verywoo woo but there is so much
science about it.
There's science aroundepigenetics and changing
environmental factors and youknow the energy we can't see
(07:31):
infrared.
There's lots of things we can'tsee or hear, but we know we're
there and this is kind of thesame, the same thing, because I
was actually doing with someonebefore he's like but how?
But how does this work?
And I was like you know you canfind the science behind it.
So, while it comes around asmore of like in a whole
(07:53):
alternative met modality in myhead from what I've read and
understood about you know energyor science, it makes sense to
me on a human scientific level.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
And you've said that it's very quick.
Like what do you mean?
It takes like five minutes.
It's like three months asopposed to years of therapy, or
what do you mean by when you sayit's really quick?
Speaker 2 (08:23):
So each specific balance.
You do say like you say I lovewriting, it's with a child who
hates writing and has issueswith writing and you say I love
writing and that belief testsweak.
You can very quickly andeffortlessly change that belief
(08:44):
to I love writing.
So that's how quick it is forthat specific goal statement.
But it doesn't mean thatobviously it's gonna change all
their issues, because our brainsare firing different beliefs at
different moments and we'veassociated so many things
together.
So it depends on how big anissue is.
(09:05):
I always recommend people cometo me for like a five pack
session.
I have children that I'm alwaysworking on ongoing.
Sometimes people come and theyjust are feeling really anxious
and they just come for onesession and that's kind of all
they needed.
So when I say one quick, theactual process of shifting that
belief, of feeling is quick, butmostly a situation where
(09:29):
there's deep anxiety or stressor lack of confidence or
self-esteem.
That would have been associatedwith so many different
situations and so many differentpeople and behaviors and
experiences.
And then you have to kind of goin there and see how you can
really shift any and all of themto help people clear that
(09:50):
experience or shift and changethat experience and how I found
Sike K was from my really goodfamily friend.
I call her my soul mother.
She was a psychologist for 20years and she as a psychologist
you have to do a lot of workwith different kind of
professional development.
She found Sike K and she wasseeing changes in her clients
(10:14):
that she has been working onwith them for about 10 years and
they were different peopleshifting within five to three to
five sessions.
So she's now completely changedher practice to Sike K based
and mainstream psychology isobviously important If there's
(10:36):
an important role that peopleneed and to talk to people.
But for me I'm like, okay, youcan talk about it all you want,
but if you wanna change and getto those deep limiting changes,
beliefs and confidence andswitch off that anxiety
mechanism, do the subconsciouswork.
So that's why I'm likepassionate about it.
(10:57):
I preach it, and especially forchildren, because they do not
need to be stuck in theselimiting beliefs or feel anxious
or take on these labels andhave them for life.
They can let them go on thisdeep rooted level so that they
don't have to carry them intoadulthood.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
I mean that sounds fantastic.
Right, it definitely sounds.
That's what we want.
We want our children to not behindered by anxiety and things.
But can you give me a couplemore examples?
You gave the example of like Idon't like writing.
What other types of things doyou work on and you see in kids,
you know like, especially likethe tweens and teen ages, what
(11:36):
are some things that we can bewatching for in our kids that
think you know what, maybe thismight be a solution for them.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
So that's how I started.
I started, I did the site carecourse.
It was the most incredible costand I was working in school at
schools at the time, in aMontessori school, and a lot of
children that came had, you know, a lot of limiting beliefs and
anxiety around education andthat's why their parents have
brought them into Montessorischools.
(12:04):
So lots of different onesaround learning and like
confidence.
And you know, when I'm like, ok, let's do a lesson about maths,
they would come and I totallysee them switch off, just
disconnect, so they weren't eventhere to, you know, get the
lesson because they had alreadyswitched their brain into that.
I don't know how to do this.
(12:26):
Fight, fight, response.
I'm unsafe in this situationbecause of the navigative
experiences they've had in thepast.
And then they just continuetheir life of like shut down
when it comes to maths, oh myGod.
This is too confusing andanyone who goes into that
response of oh my God, I don'tknow what I'm doing, you cannot
learn anything in thatexperience.
(12:47):
If two people in thatexperience trying to navigate a
resolution, they're just goingto have this huge fight and you
know you have to go and calmdown and get clearheaded before
you communicate properly andthat's the same with learning.
So I would see this and I evensee an adult.
You know that, like I'm surepeople would feel that when they
(13:09):
they're like what's seven timesseven and there's like this,
like like shock, horror I don'tknow my times tables, I'm bad at
maths that trickles off, thatlike freak out, and that you
know that comes back when theyhave to do their tasks or they
have to work out their finance.
You know, or I work with a lotof parents or adults who have
(13:32):
money issues or money fears thatstem from this, like childhood
blockage, of being scared ofmaths.
So I see a lot of theselimiting beliefs in learning.
And then it comes intoadulthood and it's like you just
need to feel calm and read abook and slowly, slowly, work
that thing out.
Anyone can learn everything youknow.
(13:53):
That is kind of what you mightknow consciously, but if you've
got this switch on anxiety, Ican't do this towards it.
You're never going to be ableto jump over that hurdle.
So I see a lot of learningbeliefs In children I see passed
down a lot from parents is abit of that like people pleaser,
(14:14):
so children.
They love to please us.
All they want to do is supportus.
They will.
They will not do what they wantto do to help us.
Not everyone.
We definitely have, you know,those strong-willed children,
but they're children who kind ofsucked in their own, their own
needs for others around them andthey learn this with their
(14:37):
parents, with teachers, withother friends and because
they're not listening to intheir inner voice, they start
getting this deep anxiety.
And I work with, you know,adults trying to un, rewire and
untangle this experience wherethey have just they're sitting
(14:57):
in so much anxiety but they'renot safe to speak their truth or
say their truth because theydon't want to hurt someone else.
So that's what I work on andthat is incredible.
I've like worked on a childbefore and one of it was like
I'm safe to speak my truth, I'mexposed to express myself.
And then the next session theywere like talking to me and
sharing all this thing andtelling me everything and I was
(15:19):
like what, what different child?
And then I went back and I went, oh, this is what we worked on
Last week.
So I've surprised myself aswell, of like once you can kind
of go it's safe to speak mytruth and untangle that.
Girls I work with a lot ofteenage girls.
(15:41):
There is a lot of relationship,navigating relationships and
body image issues and we knowwith I know with teenagers it's
all about that imaginary mirror.
They're so insecure.
The way that they should betreated is like a little child
(16:03):
who is just learning about theworld and he's super, super
sensitive, but then not.
It's kind of like they've gotthe most pressure, the most
pressure to succeed, the mostpressure to be this person, so
they've got that pressurecirculates, anxiety around
pressure, a body imaging look atme, those insecurities.
(16:24):
So those are a few, a few ofmany.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Those.
Well, those are perfectexamples.
When you were talking aboutmath, I mean, I almost was in
tears a couple of weeks agohelping my fifth grade son with
his math homework, because mathwas always a struggle for me and
I see the same in him, and heinstantly says I'm not good at
this, and so now I feel like Ifed into that unintentionally.
He's definitely picked that upfor me.
(16:54):
And the people pleasing thing Ithink that that's something
that many of us deal with in ourgeneration, especially women.
I feel like it really falls onus even heavier and something
that I say, like I'm arecovering people pleaser, even
though I'm not, I am trying tobe a recovering people pleaser,
but that's.
(17:14):
You really have got myattention with those things
alone.
And then, of course, being, youknow, a teenage girl, there's so
many pressures and so manythings that go along with that.
So obviously you have a.
You know you're trained in thisand this is a process and not
something that, like you know,it takes time, I'm sure, even
though you say it is quick, butstill, like you know, you're
(17:35):
working at it with them.
Can you give us any tips orideas of things not being
trained in this and this beingthe first time I've ever even
heard of site cake likestrategies that I can implement
at home without being trained,without knowing more about it.
Like, are there any tidbitsthat we could pull out that us
(17:57):
you know, as parents, that wecan start doing?
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Awesome.
Yes, so I also.
I also, about every once amonth or two weeks, I send out
on my socials and Instagram andI do a free talk and it's all
connected to something to dowith human developmental if it's
responsibility and limits,putting up boundaries,
supporting independent children.
(18:21):
I put those out on my Instagramand then, if people sign up,
you can get the recording,because I know that we're on the
other side of the world andpretty much I preach the
Montessori philosophy and thatis pretty much you know,
observing and guiding thedevelopment of an individual
child.
(18:41):
So, throughout you know thisprocess of okay, your son has
issues with math, but you haveto be like look, you were just
taught this when you're notready and you're gonna
understand this when you'reready.
This is very difficult things,so let's go back to the basics.
This is what you really know,this is what you really
understand.
Okay, this is a little bitharder.
Let's slowly work through it,because you know, no child is
(19:07):
smart, no child is dumb.
You know we definitely havedifferent gifts, but it's so
unfair without mainstream schoolsystem that a child is.
You know, every child is giventhe same thing.
You know, in primary school,some children understand it.
So they're like cool, I'm smart, and though.
And then some children don'tunderstand it and they're like
(19:28):
I'm, you know, so terrible atmath.
So no one actually wins becausethe child that's smart.
I see a lot of very smartpeople who don't have success,
don't know what they're doingwith their life, have imposter
syndrome because they were toldthat they were smart and they
are now freaking out becausethey're meant to kill it in life
(19:49):
.
And then I'm working withChildren Hill.
You know parents or people thatyou know thought that they were
not smart at school and they'vegot this insecurity around that
.
So the way that we can workaround it is reminding children
that there is no smart, there isno dumb, there is no shy, there
is no, you know, extroverted.
(20:10):
I mean, there's extroverted,introverted, but one is not
right and one is not wrong.
We are just people.
Because as soon as these labelscome out, there is this like oh,
I can't, I'm not good, I shouldbe this way, I should be that
way, where we shouldn't beanyway.
We are perfect the way that weare, and society creates such a
(20:31):
culture, and schools, thecultures of schools of like you
should be this perfect persondoing this perfect thing,
instead of preaching likeeveryone is so perfect and
important and special, and youshould be pushed and propelled
in what you love, because thatis really gonna give you the
tools to enhance the world andcontribute to society.
(20:53):
So, remembering to create thatculture in your home and just
really, you know, if anyone says, oh, my child's shy, say oh no,
they're not shy, they just lovewarming there.
They take their time to trustand warm up to people.
Oh, your child's so quick orchallenging?
Yes, they are.
They love using their brain.
Okay, let's find more ways toget sadokos or find some cool
(21:17):
things to challenge their brainmore.
So there is never like you'vereached your limit, you're just
in your own space and pace.
So that's with learning.
I like that, oh yeah.
And then a little bit of sideoh no, you're sorry, go, go, go,
keep going, keep going.
And then also, with anxiety,everyone is going to feel
(21:39):
anxious, obsessed, angry.
We have a part of our brainthat switches on when there is
something that we feelthreatened or dangerous, like
there's danger by Okay and no,there's no fires and no, there's
no tigers or bears.
But this part of us in our bodyis normally telling us
something.
But we can shift and change itso you can go through learning
(22:04):
to observe it within yourselfand observing it in your
children.
So, okay, I can see you've gotreally angry.
I can see you've got reallyanxious.
This part of your body istelling you that you need to
maybe calm down andself-regulate.
So, guiding your children toobserve their emotions and have
(22:25):
this metacognition towards theirmind, you know, start teaching
them to have this mindfulness ifit's through catching them in
their anger or catching them inanxiety, and go okay, you're
feeling this way, let's regulateourselves.
And I've got some things on myInstagram with what's called
(22:45):
whole brain, whole brainpositions and those kind of tell
your brain, come back together,you don't need to think of
fight, fight, come into yourwhole body and come into your
conscious mind to startconnecting your prefrontal
cortex, you're safe.
So those are things to do withlearning and anxiety and just
(23:06):
modeling conflict resolution.
You know, when issues happen oflike oh okay, how are you
feeling?
This is how I felt.
Let's all speak about what'sgoing on so people can start
catching their anger, becausethat is something that you know
my generation was not modeled,so I do it a lot of with parents
and children and they're likethis is really incredible.
(23:27):
And to have those conflictresolutions of like how are you
feeling, how am I feeling, let'stry solve a problem together.
If it's to do with stress andwith maths, if it's to do with a
fight between siblings, if it'sto do with a situation at
school, to start that you knowemotional intelligence and that
dialogue of understandingfeelings and understanding how
(23:50):
to best regulate ourselves,because we know we know what's
going to work best for us.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Yeah, yeah, well, and I think, I mean, I think this
is really interesting and sovalid and so important for us to
understand because, like youjust said, with our generation,
you know we were raised to, justyou know it's okay, stop crying
, you're okay.
Yeah, yeah, you're good.
You're good Like, and we didn't.
We didn't talk about a lot ofthese things, and so I'm glad
(24:21):
that, like, this is aconversation that is, you know,
definitely becoming moreprevalent in our society and
something that we're addressingwith our kids, because what's
going on now is we're justshaped who they are as as adults
.
So I, carly, I think this wasreally really enlightening and,
like I said, a brand new topicto me.
It's a very interesting and agreat approach.
I'm interested, for sure, tolearn more about what you offer
(24:44):
on your social medias.
I'm sure other people listeningare going to be interested in
that as well.
So we'll make sure we link toall of your social media
accounts.
And you said you do coaching aswell.
I know you're in Australia, butstill, you can work with people
anywhere, right?
Yes, exactly, thanks to virtualright, yeah, all right.
Well, again, carly, reallyappreciate your time and all
(25:06):
your insight and we'll make surewe link to everything so you
can go follow Carly on socialmedia, learn more about site K
and how you can, you know,implement this in your own house
and potentially, you know,reach out for some coaching.
So, again, we really appreciateit.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Thank you so much for having me.
Thank you, I've been talking alot, so you've taken it all in
and it's been helpful.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
No, that's great.
That's why you're here, right.
You're here to share with us,so really glad to have you here.
Thank you, bye.
Welcome back to Speak Out.
Stand Out.
I'm Elizabeth Green and today'sguest is Carly Saber.
Carly is a Psyche K facilitatorand a trained Montessori
teacher.
She is also a self-proclaimedgeek about supporting human
development in a deep andholistic way.
She works with moms, familiesand kids of all ages to clear
stress, anxiety and limitingbeliefs on a subconscious level,
(00:23):
with the goal of helping peoplefeel empowered and confident.
To pair it in a calm andregulated way.
Carly, super excited to haveyou here to chat about things.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Thank you for having me.
I'm super excited.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Carly, first and foremost, really my main
question is to start is whatdoes Psyche K mean and how does
it apply to parenting?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Awesome.
Psyche K is psychology and thenit's Psyche.
So like psychology and thendash K.
The K stands for the key to thepsyche, because it is a healing
modality that helps you connectto your subconscious,
specifically your subconsciousdeletes.
(01:11):
The originator, rob Williams,who created the name Psyche K,
was like he saw it as thismissing piece.
We speak a lot, we're alwaystalking with our conscious mind,
but actually delving into thatsubconscious and understanding
what's really going in there andsubconsciously driving our
(01:31):
emotions or our behaviors wasthe key to the psyche.
It's the modality that cansupport you get into nitty
gritty places in your brain tosupport deeper and better growth
.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Okay, well, that makes sense, but I have always
thought that not Psyche K but asyour subconscious, is something
that when I think about thatand accessing myself, my
subconscious, I think aboutbeing hypnotized or something.
But that's not what we'retalking about right.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Yeah, you're not hypnotized at all.
Hypnotism is another process.
Like hypnotist therapy, theyalso connect to your
subconscious.
There's lots of different typeof modalities that connect to
your subconscious and this isjust one of many which I found
and I love, and it's so quickand simple and you can do it
with children.
(02:23):
You can do it with parents forchildren.
So, yeah, you're not hypnotized.
It's not completely differentto hypnotism, but they both
connect.
They're speaking and connectingto the subconscious.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Okay, got it.
That makes sense.
So this might be an obviousquestion, but why do we care?
Why do we want to tap into oursubconscious, particularly when
it comes to parenting?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Awesome.
So before the age of seven achild is, their brain isn't
fully developed.
They're two parts of the brain,they're forming and only at
around the age of six and sevendo they completely form.
So in like a Steiner school ora Steiner, you know Steiner
theories.
They say a child shouldn'treally read or write or pick up
(03:14):
a pen before that time.
The formation of that brain.
In a Montessori setting theyhave different kind of ages and
stages and when they get to agesix they change from a very
different set up, preparedenvironment to now suit the
needs of this new braindevelopment.
And you'll see it, if you haveyour own child and you're
observant, you'll see thatthere's this, this developmental
(03:36):
milestone.
They might ask more deepquestions.
They want to know why they letgo of the family a little bit
more and they become more social.
So you've probably observed itor seen it in your children and
before that age children aresubconsciously taking on
anything and everything.
And we even say thatgenetically you take on things
(03:59):
before birth from your parents.
So say, for example, a fewgenerations down you know your
family, someone in your familywent through war and now your
child lives safely and happilyin your home.
But there's still these beliefsin the genetic genes about
relationships or money that comeinto play and if your child
(04:22):
hasn't taken it on, you mighthave taken it on and then
they're going to observe it inyou.
So connecting to thesubconscious allows a child and
allows you to clear thesebeliefs that you might not even
know you have consciously, thatare switching on a pattern or a
behavior or a fight flight,anxious response in you that you
(04:43):
don't want, that your bodydoesn't need, that you don't
need anymore because you're notin a war-torn experience and
there's no need to have it.
And it might be stopping you oryour children from their
potential or even maybe causingproblems.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Okay, so and this might be too a simplified
question but how do we do this?
How do we access thesubconscious so that we are, you
know, we're not creatinganxiety in ourselves and passing
it on to our kids?
Speaker 2 (05:12):
So that's what I do.
As a site care facilitator.
I work with parents or childrenas well.
I have children that I workwith from five years old all the
way up to 16 year old teenagers, you know, and I am even
working with grandparents.
So I've got a array of clients.
And with this modality youmuscle test, so muscle tests.
(05:36):
You know, with kinesiology orother muscle tests or
chiropractic practitioners, theyuse muscle testing to maybe
connect to deficiencies in thebody.
But this is a simple way thatyou can connect to the
subconscious and if you muscletest, a strong test, it means
it's fine.
But if there's a weak test,there's a fight flight response
there.
So your body's kind of goinginto panic towards a situation
(05:59):
or belief.
And the cool thing is I can dothe muscle testing on people's
behalf.
And then, if it's a week,through the process we connect
to you know, if it's a week, wedo something called a whole
brain position and that's prettymuch re allowing you to
experience the position with whyyour body is all communicating
(06:22):
and connecting and all parts ofyour brain are talking to say
hold on, in this situation I amsafe, my body can be safe, my
brain can be safe, I can accessand Reese, connect to this
situation easily and you know,if you, you know, consciously go
, I've got this issue.
It makes me feel really anxious, I know.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
I shouldn't be anxious about it.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
And then you go the next day and you're like I've
got this issue and I still feelanxious about it.
It's very hard to train yourbrain.
You know it's possible throughexposure, bear exposure, therapy
, to train your brain to go.
I don't need to go into thisfight flight response, but
through site K.
This is a very quick and easyway to go to let your body know
(07:07):
it doesn't need to switch on the.
You know that amygdala, thepart of the brain that goes I'm,
there's a fire in the room.
I've got to escape.
And just to add, it seems verywoo woo but there is so much
science about it.
There's science aroundepigenetics and changing
environmental factors and youknow the energy we can't see
(07:31):
infrared.
There's lots of things we can'tsee or hear, but we know we're
there and this is kind of thesame, the same thing, because I
was actually doing with someonebefore he's like but how?
But how does this work?
And I was like you know you canfind the science behind it.
So, while it comes around asmore of like in a whole
(07:53):
alternative met modality in myhead from what I've read and
understood about you know energyor science, it makes sense to
me on a human scientific level.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
And you've said that it's very quick.
Like what do you mean?
It takes like five minutes.
It's like three months asopposed to years of therapy, or
what do you mean by when you sayit's really quick?
Speaker 2 (08:23):
So each specific balance.
You do say like you say I lovewriting, it's with a child who
hates writing and has issueswith writing and you say I love
writing and that belief testsweak.
You can very quickly andeffortlessly change that belief
(08:44):
to I love writing.
So that's how quick it is forthat specific goal statement.
But it doesn't mean thatobviously it's gonna change all
their issues, because our brainsare firing different beliefs at
different moments and we'veassociated so many things
together.
So it depends on how big anissue is.
(09:05):
I always recommend people cometo me for like a five pack
session.
I have children that I'm alwaysworking on ongoing.
Sometimes people come and theyjust are feeling really anxious
and they just come for onesession and that's kind of all
they needed.
So when I say one quick, theactual process of shifting that
belief, of feeling is quick, butmostly a situation where
(09:29):
there's deep anxiety or stressor lack of confidence or
self-esteem.
That would have been associatedwith so many different
situations and so many differentpeople and behaviors and
experiences.
And then you have to kind of goin there and see how you can
really shift any and all of themto help people clear that
(09:50):
experience or shift and changethat experience and how I found
Sike K was from my really goodfamily friend.
I call her my soul mother.
She was a psychologist for 20years and she as a psychologist
you have to do a lot of workwith different kind of
professional development.
She found Sike K and she wasseeing changes in her clients
(10:14):
that she has been working onwith them for about 10 years and
they were different peopleshifting within five to three to
five sessions.
So she's now completely changedher practice to Sike K based
and mainstream psychology isobviously important If there's
(10:36):
an important role that peopleneed and to talk to people.
But for me I'm like, okay, youcan talk about it all you want,
but if you wanna change and getto those deep limiting changes,
beliefs and confidence andswitch off that anxiety
mechanism, do the subconsciouswork.
So that's why I'm likepassionate about it.
(10:57):
I preach it, and especially forchildren, because they do not
need to be stuck in theselimiting beliefs or feel anxious
or take on these labels andhave them for life.
They can let them go on thisdeep rooted level so that they
don't have to carry them intoadulthood.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
I mean that sounds fantastic.
Right, it definitely sounds.
That's what we want.
We want our children to not behindered by anxiety and things.
But can you give me a couplemore examples?
You gave the example of like Idon't like writing.
What other types of things doyou work on and you see in kids,
you know like, especially likethe tweens and teen ages, what
(11:36):
are some things that we can bewatching for in our kids that
think you know what, maybe thismight be a solution for them.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
So that's how I started.
I started, I did the site carecourse.
It was the most incredible costand I was working in school at
schools at the time, in aMontessori school, and a lot of
children that came had, you know, a lot of limiting beliefs and
anxiety around education andthat's why their parents have
brought them into Montessorischools.
(12:04):
So lots of different onesaround learning and like
confidence.
And you know, when I'm like, ok, let's do a lesson about maths,
they would come and I totallysee them switch off, just
disconnect, so they weren't eventhere to, you know, get the
lesson because they had alreadyswitched their brain into that.
I don't know how to do this.
(12:26):
Fight, fight, response.
I'm unsafe in this situationbecause of the navigative
experiences they've had in thepast.
And then they just continuetheir life of like shut down
when it comes to maths, oh myGod.
This is too confusing andanyone who goes into that
response of oh my God, I don'tknow what I'm doing, you cannot
learn anything in thatexperience.
(12:47):
If two people in thatexperience trying to navigate a
resolution, they're just goingto have this huge fight and you
know you have to go and calmdown and get clearheaded before
you communicate properly andthat's the same with learning.
So I would see this and I evensee an adult.
You know that, like I'm surepeople would feel that when they
(13:09):
they're like what's seven timesseven and there's like this,
like like shock, horror I don'tknow my times tables, I'm bad at
maths that trickles off, thatlike freak out, and that you
know that comes back when theyhave to do their tasks or they
have to work out their finance.
You know, or I work with a lotof parents or adults who have
(13:32):
money issues or money fears thatstem from this, like childhood
blockage, of being scared ofmaths.
So I see a lot of theselimiting beliefs in learning.
And then it comes intoadulthood and it's like you just
need to feel calm and read abook and slowly, slowly, work
that thing out.
Anyone can learn everything youknow.
(13:53):
That is kind of what you mightknow consciously, but if you've
got this switch on anxiety, Ican't do this towards it.
You're never going to be ableto jump over that hurdle.
So I see a lot of learningbeliefs In children I see passed
down a lot from parents is abit of that like people pleaser,
(14:14):
so children.
They love to please us.
All they want to do is supportus.
They will.
They will not do what they wantto do to help us.
Not everyone.
We definitely have, you know,those strong-willed children,
but they're children who kind ofsucked in their own, their own
needs for others around them andthey learn this with their
(14:37):
parents, with teachers, withother friends and because
they're not listening to intheir inner voice, they start
getting this deep anxiety.
And I work with, you know,adults trying to un, rewire and
untangle this experience wherethey have just they're sitting
(14:57):
in so much anxiety but they'renot safe to speak their truth or
say their truth because theydon't want to hurt someone else.
So that's what I work on andthat is incredible.
I've like worked on a childbefore and one of it was like
I'm safe to speak my truth, I'mexposed to express myself.
And then the next session theywere like talking to me and
sharing all this thing andtelling me everything and I was
(15:19):
like what, what different child?
And then I went back and I went, oh, this is what we worked on
Last week.
So I've surprised myself aswell, of like once you can kind
of go it's safe to speak mytruth and untangle that.
Girls I work with a lot ofteenage girls.
(15:41):
There is a lot of relationship,navigating relationships and
body image issues and we knowwith I know with teenagers it's
all about that imaginary mirror.
They're so insecure.
The way that they should betreated is like a little child
(16:03):
who is just learning about theworld and he's super, super
sensitive, but then not.
It's kind of like they've gotthe most pressure, the most
pressure to succeed, the mostpressure to be this person, so
they've got that pressurecirculates, anxiety around
pressure, a body imaging look atme, those insecurities.
(16:24):
So those are a few, a few ofmany.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Those.
Well, those are perfectexamples.
When you were talking aboutmath, I mean, I almost was in
tears a couple of weeks agohelping my fifth grade son with
his math homework, because mathwas always a struggle for me and
I see the same in him, and heinstantly says I'm not good at
this, and so now I feel like Ifed into that unintentionally.
He's definitely picked that upfor me.
(16:54):
And the people pleasing thing Ithink that that's something
that many of us deal with in ourgeneration, especially women.
I feel like it really falls onus even heavier and something
that I say, like I'm arecovering people pleaser, even
though I'm not, I am trying tobe a recovering people pleaser,
but that's.
(17:14):
You really have got myattention with those things
alone.
And then, of course, being, youknow, a teenage girl, there's so
many pressures and so manythings that go along with that.
So obviously you have a.
You know you're trained in thisand this is a process and not
something that, like you know,it takes time, I'm sure, even
though you say it is quick, butstill, like you know, you're
(17:35):
working at it with them.
Can you give us any tips orideas of things not being
trained in this and this beingthe first time I've ever even
heard of site cake likestrategies that I can implement
at home without being trained,without knowing more about it.
Like, are there any tidbitsthat we could pull out that us
(17:57):
you know, as parents, that wecan start doing?
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Awesome.
Yes, so I also.
I also, about every once amonth or two weeks, I send out
on my socials and Instagram andI do a free talk and it's all
connected to something to dowith human developmental if it's
responsibility and limits,putting up boundaries,
supporting independent children.
(18:21):
I put those out on my Instagramand then, if people sign up,
you can get the recording,because I know that we're on the
other side of the world andpretty much I preach the
Montessori philosophy and thatis pretty much you know,
observing and guiding thedevelopment of an individual
child.
(18:41):
So, throughout you know thisprocess of okay, your son has
issues with math, but you haveto be like look, you were just
taught this when you're notready and you're gonna
understand this when you'reready.
This is very difficult things,so let's go back to the basics.
This is what you really know,this is what you really
understand.
Okay, this is a little bitharder.
Let's slowly work through it,because you know, no child is
(19:07):
smart, no child is dumb.
You know we definitely havedifferent gifts, but it's so
unfair without mainstream schoolsystem that a child is.
You know, every child is giventhe same thing.
You know, in primary school,some children understand it.
So they're like cool, I'm smart, and though.
And then some children don'tunderstand it and they're like
(19:28):
I'm, you know, so terrible atmath.
So no one actually wins becausethe child that's smart.
I see a lot of very smartpeople who don't have success,
don't know what they're doingwith their life, have imposter
syndrome because they were toldthat they were smart and they
are now freaking out becausethey're meant to kill it in life
(19:49):
.
And then I'm working withChildren Hill.
You know parents or people thatyou know thought that they were
not smart at school and they'vegot this insecurity around that
.
So the way that we can workaround it is reminding children
that there is no smart, there isno dumb, there is no shy, there
is no, you know, extroverted.
(20:10):
I mean, there's extroverted,introverted, but one is not
right and one is not wrong.
We are just people.
Because as soon as these labelscome out, there is this like oh,
I can't, I'm not good, I shouldbe this way, I should be that
way, where we shouldn't beanyway.
We are perfect the way that weare, and society creates such a
(20:31):
culture, and schools, thecultures of schools of like you
should be this perfect persondoing this perfect thing,
instead of preaching likeeveryone is so perfect and
important and special, and youshould be pushed and propelled
in what you love, because thatis really gonna give you the
tools to enhance the world andcontribute to society.
(20:53):
So, remembering to create thatculture in your home and just
really, you know, if anyone says, oh, my child's shy, say oh no,
they're not shy, they just lovewarming there.
They take their time to trustand warm up to people.
Oh, your child's so quick orchallenging?
Yes, they are.
They love using their brain.
Okay, let's find more ways toget sadokos or find some cool
(21:17):
things to challenge their brainmore.
So there is never like you'vereached your limit, you're just
in your own space and pace.
So that's with learning.
I like that, oh yeah.
And then a little bit of sideoh no, you're sorry, go, go, go,
keep going, keep going.
And then also, with anxiety,everyone is going to feel
(21:39):
anxious, obsessed, angry.
We have a part of our brainthat switches on when there is
something that we feelthreatened or dangerous, like
there's danger by Okay and no,there's no fires and no, there's
no tigers or bears.
But this part of us in our bodyis normally telling us
something.
But we can shift and change itso you can go through learning
(22:04):
to observe it within yourselfand observing it in your
children.
So, okay, I can see you've gotreally angry.
I can see you've got reallyanxious.
This part of your body istelling you that you need to
maybe calm down andself-regulate.
So, guiding your children toobserve their emotions and have
(22:25):
this metacognition towards theirmind, you know, start teaching
them to have this mindfulness ifit's through catching them in
their anger or catching them inanxiety, and go okay, you're
feeling this way, let's regulateourselves.
And I've got some things on myInstagram with what's called
(22:45):
whole brain, whole brainpositions and those kind of tell
your brain, come back together,you don't need to think of
fight, fight, come into yourwhole body and come into your
conscious mind to startconnecting your prefrontal
cortex, you're safe.
So those are things to do withlearning and anxiety and just
(23:06):
modeling conflict resolution.
You know, when issues happen oflike oh okay, how are you
feeling?
This is how I felt.
Let's all speak about what'sgoing on so people can start
catching their anger, becausethat is something that you know
my generation was not modeled,so I do it a lot of with parents
and children and they're likethis is really incredible.
(23:27):
And to have those conflictresolutions of like how are you
feeling, how am I feeling, let'stry solve a problem together.
If it's to do with stress andwith maths, if it's to do with a
fight between siblings, if it'sto do with a situation at
school, to start that you knowemotional intelligence and that
dialogue of understandingfeelings and understanding how
(23:50):
to best regulate ourselves,because we know we know what's
going to work best for us.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Yeah, yeah, well, and I think, I mean, I think this
is really interesting and sovalid and so important for us to
understand because, like youjust said, with our generation,
you know we were raised to, justyou know it's okay, stop crying
, you're okay.
Yeah, yeah, you're good.
You're good Like, and we didn't.
We didn't talk about a lot ofthese things, and so I'm glad
(24:21):
that, like, this is aconversation that is, you know,
definitely becoming moreprevalent in our society and
something that we're addressingwith our kids, because what's
going on now is we're justshaped who they are as as adults
.
So I, carly, I think this wasreally really enlightening and,
like I said, a brand new topicto me.
It's a very interesting and agreat approach.
I'm interested, for sure, tolearn more about what you offer
(24:44):
on your social medias.
I'm sure other people listeningare going to be interested in
that as well.
So we'll make sure we link toall of your social media
accounts.
And you said you do coaching aswell.
I know you're in Australia, butstill, you can work with people
anywhere, right?
Yes, exactly, thanks to virtualright, yeah, all right.
Well, again, carly, reallyappreciate your time and all
(25:06):
your insight and we'll make surewe link to everything so you
can go follow Carly on socialmedia, learn more about site K
and how you can, you know,implement this in your own house
and potentially, you know,reach out for some coaching.
So, again, we really appreciateit.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Thank you so much for having me.
Thank you, I've been talking alot, so you've taken it all in
and it's been helpful.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
No, that's great.
That's why you're here, right.
You're here to share with us,so really glad to have you here.
Thank you, bye.
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