September 4, 2025 • 12 mins
Have you ever frozen under pressure when someone in your audience throws a tough, even hostile question your way? You’re not alone, and this episode is all about teaching you how to handle those moments with confidence and composure.
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence. I’m Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach. My passion is helping you build the soft skills that spark real progress in your career and life, especially the ability to stay cool, clear, and credible in the spotlight. Whether you breeze through presentations or find public speaking downright nerve-wracking, this episode is packed with actionable advice to help you face even the most challenging moments on stage.
Here’s what we covered in this episode:
- The 3-step credibility playbook for tough questions (Acknowledge, Provide Evidence, Call to Action)
- Aligning with the ABCD method and why defensive reactions hurt more than they help
- Using evidence and social proof to handle pushback and skeptical questions
- Reading audience motives and managing both “genuine” and “maddening” challengers
- Body language moves that signal control and calm
- How to use empathy, validation, and audience engagement to redirect heated moments
- “Sleight of mouth” reframing tactics and building your own objection-response scripts
- Scripted responses for handling multi-part and high-pressure questions with authority
- Turning objections into opportunities and building forward momentum
Progress, not perfection, is the goal. Pick just one strategy whether ABCD, a validation line, or the quick reframe and rehearse it for five minutes so you’re ready when the moment comes. Remember, confidence in those pressure-packed moments isn’t about never feeling nerves; it’s about being prepared enough to choose your response with authority.
For even more resources, visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com for a free eBook (“The Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and How to Overcome Them”) or to sign up for our Formula for Public Speaking training. Your voice is your power, thanks for joining me on this journey. Until next time, keep practicing and keep speaking with confidence!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tim Newman (00:09):
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, a
podcast that helps you build thesoft skills that lead to real
results Communication,storytelling, public speaking
and showing up with confidencein every conversation that
counts.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide you on your
journey to becoming a powerfulcommunicator.
I want to thank you all forsupporting the show.
(00:29):
It truly means the world to me.
Over the last few months, I'vebeen working on a number of
things, and next week I willshare one of them with you.
I'm really excited about it, sostay tuned.
Getting up in front of a groupof people and talking may be
easy for some of you, and it maybe easy for some of you and it
may be terrifying for others.
The purpose of this podcast isto give everyone strategies,
(00:55):
tactics and tools to becomepowerful communicators and speak
with confidence.
But how do we deal with toughquestions or an unruly audience
members trying to make a pointor embarrass us?
That's what I'm going to talkabout today.
Picture this You're in themiddle of your talk, someone in
the audience cuts in with aloaded question.
Your credibility is on the line.
Your hands go clammy, yourchest tightens.
What now?
If you've ever frozen in thatmoment, you're not alone.
(01:18):
That's why today I'm giving youa toolkit, a simple three-step
credibility playbook Acknowledge, provide evidence, call to
action plus two body languagemoves that keep you in control.
One stage.
These are research-backed,field-tested phrases and tactics
speakers rely on when pressurehits.
They won't erase the nerves,but they will stop you from
(01:45):
being caught off guard.
Before we jump in, I want youto think about the hardest
questions you've ever had toface.
Now let's look at what happensin that exact high-pressure
moment.
The worst version of thismoment goes like this You're
mid-sentence when someoneinterrupts you with how would
you know?
You've never even worked in ourindustry.
Your shoulders lock up, yourbreath shortens and before you
(02:10):
know it, you've learned.
That's not true.
I've got plenty of experience.
The room shifts uncomfortably,you've automatically slipped
into defense mode and from there, no one wins.
Research on audience perceptionshows defensive reactions often
stick in listeners' mindslonger than the point you were
trying to make.
So instead of reinforcing yourmessage, you've reinforced your
discomfort.
Strong speakers take the samemoment and steer it differently.
(02:33):
One tool is the Action EvidenceAction Flow, which aligns
closely with the ABCD methoddocumented by communication
coaches.
Aligns closely with the ABCDmethod documented by
communication coaches.
Abcd is answer, backup, confirmand depersonalize.
(02:56):
In practice, acknowledge linesup with answer, evidence lines
up with backup and confirm.
And action echoes.
Depersonalize by moving thefocus forward, framing it as
acknowledge evidence.
Action gives you one clearphrase to remember under
pressure.
Here's what it looks like onstage.
A weak response would be I knowwhat I'm talking about versus a
strong response.
(03:17):
I see where you're coming from.
Many clients felt the same wayuntil they reviewed the case
studies.
Step one is to acknowledge theconcern.
Step two is to share tangibleevidence and step three is to
point to an action, like openinga slide or describing what the
data actually means for them.
For technical pushback try.
(03:37):
That's a great point.
That's why we've confirmedthese numbers with independent
studies before presenting here'sthe data.
The reason this works is youavoid conflict and replace it
with proof.
The micro action, show a simplechart and move the energy back
onto common ground Forexperience-based objections.
Phrase it as that's a fairquestion.
(04:00):
That's why we partnered withfrontline teams during
development.
Here's what we learned Againyou validate, supply evidence,
then invite them forward.
Targeted social proof alsoshifts the weight of proof away
from you Instead of insisting onyour expertise, point to a
credible pilot project or casestudy that shows the idea in
(04:20):
action.
By anchoring your response inshared evidence, you turn
skepticism into curiosity.
Nancy Duarte notes in herresearch that even the way you
phrase points in rehearsal canchange the questions you'll
receive.
A sales leader, she observed,swapped the phrase align on
goals for redefining goals andthe shift instantly promoted
(04:43):
more collaborative questionsinstead of defensive ones.
That example underscores howpractice language choices can
set you up for easier handlingof tough questions.
So the transformation is clearBefore you're tense, rushed and
defensive.
After you're steady,evidence-backed and
collaborative.
(05:03):
This isn't about lookingforward to conflict.
It's about being preparedenough that you don't get thrown
off your course.
And once you have thisfoundation, you can start
examining the different kinds ofchallenges you'll face, because
not every tough question comesfrom the same place or carries
the same intent.
Hostile to heroic moments arewhere the real test happens.
(05:25):
The person leaning in withfolded arms isn't the same as
the one sighing in frustrationor the one that's showing off
fishing for laughs.
Each type signals a differentmotive.
Communication expert LucilleOsei calls these the genuine
challenges versus the maddeningones.
The genuine challengers pressbecause they want clarity.
So answer them directly andgive them concise proof.
(05:47):
Maddening challengers look forattention, so set a boundary and
invite them to follow upafterward, instead of letting
them derail the room.
You can often spot a challengebefore it arrives.
A flushed face, shufflingpapers or exaggerated sighs are
early cues.
When you notice these signals,body language becomes your first
(06:09):
line of control.
Research in psychology todayrecommends an open posture and
movement toward people, not away.
A small adjustment, likeangling your stance slightly
instead of standing square,reduces confrontation while
keeping authority.
Keep your hands visible and letgestures slow down.
One deliberate move at a time.
(06:30):
Project calm without escalatingtension From there.
The ABCD method helps you.
Keep your answers anchored.
Answer briefly, back it withcredible proof, confirm
understanding and depersonalizeby noting that many have asked
the same question before.
At one tech talk, a participantshouted this architecture will
never scale.
(06:50):
The speaker replied it didn'tin our first test either, until
we added the caching layer onslide 18.
Have you run into similarbottlenecks?
And in one short turn theyvalidated, provided evidence and
then pivoted with a question.
When emotions run hot,validations come first.
Saying I'd feel frustrated tooif I thought timelines were
(07:13):
slipping works better than calmdown Because, as psychology
today notes, empathy and activelistening diffuse anger more
effectively than instant defense.
You can also mirror theintensity, but at a lower volume
.
If someone says this is totallyunrealistic, a firm but calmer
reply like it's ambitious.
That's why we staged therollout Acknowledges without
(07:37):
surrendering authority.
Two more research-backed movesgive you options.
Engage the audience as an allyby asking does the rest of the
room see it this way?
This checks whether a concernis shared and often softens the
disruption.
And if side conversations flareup, shift the room into quick
(07:57):
pairs or table discussion.
Physician leaders emphasizethat this resets dynamics and
breaks up disruptions whilepreserving dignity.
Handled this way, hostilemoments stop being threats and
become chances to actuallystrengthen connection.
And once you have skill atturning those interruptions
around, the next step islearning how to reshape even the
(08:18):
toughest objections before theysettle in Advanced scripting
tactics where challengesstopping random jolts and start
becoming deliberate openingsyou've prepared for.
One of the simplest tools hereis sleight-of-mouth patterns.
These are short reframes thatlet you redirect an objection
without sounding combative.
For example, the chunking-uppattern.
(08:40):
If someone says your softwareis too complicated, you step
back to the bigger principlewith what makes simplicity most
important for your team.
Rather than sparring complexity, you uncover what they truly
value.
Redefinition is another corepattern.
If a client labels an idea asrisky, you can say innovative,
(09:00):
with controlled tests that meetcompliance.
The objection is acknowledged,but the harsh emotional weight
is replaced with a neutral oreven positive frame.
A health care director onceshifted fast from resistance
when untested method wasreframed as protocol modeled on
cardiac reforms.
The counterexample patternworks the same way.
(09:21):
If they argue, nobody in ourindustry does this answer with,
except Bayer's Singaporedivision, their results may be
worth noting.
By pointing to just one realcase, you replace absolutes with
possibilities.
Preparing these scripts makesthem far more natural in the
moment.
Build a what-if bank by writingdown the top 10 objections you
(09:42):
faced.
For each one draft threeresponse angles, a statistic, an
analogy and an external proof.
Then run practice sessionswhere you or a partner play the
roles of devil's advocate,sniper, know-it-all or any of
the other six scary sixchallenges from coaching
research.
This rehearsal makes it harderto get rattled on stage because
(10:05):
you've already handled the toughhits in private.
And when faced with multi-partor pressure-heavy questions, use
a buying timeline tight, clearand backed by multiple sources,
recommending a pause, forexample.
I want to give that theattention it deserves.
Let me outline three factorsnow, and we'll look at details
in the discussion after this.
(10:27):
Steadies your pace and signalscontrol, while promising a
return to the point as a guidingscript.
Try this three-step reframeformula One short sentence to
reinstate neutrally, such as youneed proven ROI.
One to show what's really atstake, such as what's at stake
is making sure budgets stay safe.
(10:48):
And one to offer your processas a solution, such as that's
why we track indicators eachweek.
These reframes typically shifttone or open new directions
within a single exchange.
If delivered calmly, masteringthese tactics means you're not
dodging objections.
You're using them to redirectconversations with precision.
(11:08):
And when you treat them thisway, something starts to happen.
The pressure doesn't just fade,it transforms into forward
momentum.
The turning point comes whenobjections stop feeling like
roadblocks and start becomingopportunities.
You're no longer stuckdefending, you're guiding the
exchange.
Every pushback shows you'veprepared and each clear response
(11:29):
builds engagement instead ofresistance.
Pick one strategy this week theABCD method, a validation line
or the three-step reframe.
Rehearse it for five minutestoday so it's ready when you
need it.
Notice the shift that happensin that small pause when you
choose to respond instead ofreact.
That pause is where authoritystarts to show.
Remember we're looking forprogress, not perfection.
(11:53):
That's all for today.
Be sure to visitspeakingwithconfidencepodcastcom
to get your free ebook the Top21 Challenges for Public
Speakers and how to Overcomethem.
You can also register for theFormula for Public Speakers.
Always remember your voice is apower changer.
We'll talk to you next time,take care.
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, a
podcast that helps you build thesoft skills that lead to real
results Communication,storytelling, public speaking
and showing up with confidencein every conversation that
counts.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide you on your
journey to becoming a powerfulcommunicator.
I want to thank you all forsupporting the show.
(00:29):
It truly means the world to me.
Over the last few months, I'vebeen working on a number of
things, and next week I willshare one of them with you.
I'm really excited about it, sostay tuned.
Getting up in front of a groupof people and talking may be
easy for some of you, and it maybe easy for some of you and it
may be terrifying for others.
The purpose of this podcast isto give everyone strategies,
(00:55):
tactics and tools to becomepowerful communicators and speak
with confidence.
But how do we deal with toughquestions or an unruly audience
members trying to make a pointor embarrass us?
That's what I'm going to talkabout today.
Picture this You're in themiddle of your talk, someone in
the audience cuts in with aloaded question.
Your credibility is on the line.
Your hands go clammy, yourchest tightens.
What now?
If you've ever frozen in thatmoment, you're not alone.
(01:18):
That's why today I'm giving youa toolkit, a simple three-step
credibility playbook Acknowledge, provide evidence, call to
action plus two body languagemoves that keep you in control.
One stage.
These are research-backed,field-tested phrases and tactics
speakers rely on when pressurehits.
They won't erase the nerves,but they will stop you from
(01:45):
being caught off guard.
Before we jump in, I want youto think about the hardest
questions you've ever had toface.
Now let's look at what happensin that exact high-pressure
moment.
The worst version of thismoment goes like this You're
mid-sentence when someoneinterrupts you with how would
you know?
You've never even worked in ourindustry.
Your shoulders lock up, yourbreath shortens and before you
(02:10):
know it, you've learned.
That's not true.
I've got plenty of experience.
The room shifts uncomfortably,you've automatically slipped
into defense mode and from there, no one wins.
Research on audience perceptionshows defensive reactions often
stick in listeners' mindslonger than the point you were
trying to make.
So instead of reinforcing yourmessage, you've reinforced your
discomfort.
Strong speakers take the samemoment and steer it differently.
(02:33):
One tool is the Action EvidenceAction Flow, which aligns
closely with the ABCD methoddocumented by communication
coaches.
Aligns closely with the ABCDmethod documented by
communication coaches.
Abcd is answer, backup, confirmand depersonalize.
(02:56):
In practice, acknowledge linesup with answer, evidence lines
up with backup and confirm.
And action echoes.
Depersonalize by moving thefocus forward, framing it as
acknowledge evidence.
Action gives you one clearphrase to remember under
pressure.
Here's what it looks like onstage.
A weak response would be I knowwhat I'm talking about versus a
strong response.
(03:17):
I see where you're coming from.
Many clients felt the same wayuntil they reviewed the case
studies.
Step one is to acknowledge theconcern.
Step two is to share tangibleevidence and step three is to
point to an action, like openinga slide or describing what the
data actually means for them.
For technical pushback try.
(03:37):
That's a great point.
That's why we've confirmedthese numbers with independent
studies before presenting here'sthe data.
The reason this works is youavoid conflict and replace it
with proof.
The micro action, show a simplechart and move the energy back
onto common ground Forexperience-based objections.
Phrase it as that's a fairquestion.
(04:00):
That's why we partnered withfrontline teams during
development.
Here's what we learned Againyou validate, supply evidence,
then invite them forward.
Targeted social proof alsoshifts the weight of proof away
from you Instead of insisting onyour expertise, point to a
credible pilot project or casestudy that shows the idea in
(04:20):
action.
By anchoring your response inshared evidence, you turn
skepticism into curiosity.
Nancy Duarte notes in herresearch that even the way you
phrase points in rehearsal canchange the questions you'll
receive.
A sales leader, she observed,swapped the phrase align on
goals for redefining goals andthe shift instantly promoted
(04:43):
more collaborative questionsinstead of defensive ones.
That example underscores howpractice language choices can
set you up for easier handlingof tough questions.
So the transformation is clearBefore you're tense, rushed and
defensive.
After you're steady,evidence-backed and
collaborative.
(05:03):
This isn't about lookingforward to conflict.
It's about being preparedenough that you don't get thrown
off your course.
And once you have thisfoundation, you can start
examining the different kinds ofchallenges you'll face, because
not every tough question comesfrom the same place or carries
the same intent.
Hostile to heroic moments arewhere the real test happens.
(05:25):
The person leaning in withfolded arms isn't the same as
the one sighing in frustrationor the one that's showing off
fishing for laughs.
Each type signals a differentmotive.
Communication expert LucilleOsei calls these the genuine
challenges versus the maddeningones.
The genuine challengers pressbecause they want clarity.
So answer them directly andgive them concise proof.
(05:47):
Maddening challengers look forattention, so set a boundary and
invite them to follow upafterward, instead of letting
them derail the room.
You can often spot a challengebefore it arrives.
A flushed face, shufflingpapers or exaggerated sighs are
early cues.
When you notice these signals,body language becomes your first
(06:09):
line of control.
Research in psychology todayrecommends an open posture and
movement toward people, not away.
A small adjustment, likeangling your stance slightly
instead of standing square,reduces confrontation while
keeping authority.
Keep your hands visible and letgestures slow down.
One deliberate move at a time.
(06:30):
Project calm without escalatingtension From there.
The ABCD method helps you.
Keep your answers anchored.
Answer briefly, back it withcredible proof, confirm
understanding and depersonalizeby noting that many have asked
the same question before.
At one tech talk, a participantshouted this architecture will
never scale.
(06:50):
The speaker replied it didn'tin our first test either, until
we added the caching layer onslide 18.
Have you run into similarbottlenecks?
And in one short turn theyvalidated, provided evidence and
then pivoted with a question.
When emotions run hot,validations come first.
Saying I'd feel frustrated tooif I thought timelines were
(07:13):
slipping works better than calmdown Because, as psychology
today notes, empathy and activelistening diffuse anger more
effectively than instant defense.
You can also mirror theintensity, but at a lower volume
.
If someone says this is totallyunrealistic, a firm but calmer
reply like it's ambitious.
That's why we staged therollout Acknowledges without
(07:37):
surrendering authority.
Two more research-backed movesgive you options.
Engage the audience as an allyby asking does the rest of the
room see it this way?
This checks whether a concernis shared and often softens the
disruption.
And if side conversations flareup, shift the room into quick
(07:57):
pairs or table discussion.
Physician leaders emphasizethat this resets dynamics and
breaks up disruptions whilepreserving dignity.
Handled this way, hostilemoments stop being threats and
become chances to actuallystrengthen connection.
And once you have skill atturning those interruptions
around, the next step islearning how to reshape even the
(08:18):
toughest objections before theysettle in Advanced scripting
tactics where challengesstopping random jolts and start
becoming deliberate openingsyou've prepared for.
One of the simplest tools hereis sleight-of-mouth patterns.
These are short reframes thatlet you redirect an objection
without sounding combative.
For example, the chunking-uppattern.
(08:40):
If someone says your softwareis too complicated, you step
back to the bigger principlewith what makes simplicity most
important for your team.
Rather than sparring complexity, you uncover what they truly
value.
Redefinition is another corepattern.
If a client labels an idea asrisky, you can say innovative,
(09:00):
with controlled tests that meetcompliance.
The objection is acknowledged,but the harsh emotional weight
is replaced with a neutral oreven positive frame.
A health care director onceshifted fast from resistance
when untested method wasreframed as protocol modeled on
cardiac reforms.
The counterexample patternworks the same way.
(09:21):
If they argue, nobody in ourindustry does this answer with,
except Bayer's Singaporedivision, their results may be
worth noting.
By pointing to just one realcase, you replace absolutes with
possibilities.
Preparing these scripts makesthem far more natural in the
moment.
Build a what-if bank by writingdown the top 10 objections you
(09:42):
faced.
For each one draft threeresponse angles, a statistic, an
analogy and an external proof.
Then run practice sessionswhere you or a partner play the
roles of devil's advocate,sniper, know-it-all or any of
the other six scary sixchallenges from coaching
research.
This rehearsal makes it harderto get rattled on stage because
(10:05):
you've already handled the toughhits in private.
And when faced with multi-partor pressure-heavy questions, use
a buying timeline tight, clearand backed by multiple sources,
recommending a pause, forexample.
I want to give that theattention it deserves.
Let me outline three factorsnow, and we'll look at details
in the discussion after this.
(10:27):
Steadies your pace and signalscontrol, while promising a
return to the point as a guidingscript.
Try this three-step reframeformula One short sentence to
reinstate neutrally, such as youneed proven ROI.
One to show what's really atstake, such as what's at stake
is making sure budgets stay safe.
(10:48):
And one to offer your processas a solution, such as that's
why we track indicators eachweek.
These reframes typically shifttone or open new directions
within a single exchange.
If delivered calmly, masteringthese tactics means you're not
dodging objections.
You're using them to redirectconversations with precision.
(11:08):
And when you treat them thisway, something starts to happen.
The pressure doesn't just fade,it transforms into forward
momentum.
The turning point comes whenobjections stop feeling like
roadblocks and start becomingopportunities.
You're no longer stuckdefending, you're guiding the
exchange.
Every pushback shows you'veprepared and each clear response
(11:29):
builds engagement instead ofresistance.
Pick one strategy this week theABCD method, a validation line
or the three-step reframe.
Rehearse it for five minutestoday so it's ready when you
need it.
Notice the shift that happensin that small pause when you
choose to respond instead ofreact.
That pause is where authoritystarts to show.
Remember we're looking forprogress, not perfection.
(11:53):
That's all for today.
Be sure to visitspeakingwithconfidencepodcastcom
to get your free ebook the Top21 Challenges for Public
Speakers and how to Overcomethem.
You can also register for theFormula for Public Speakers.
Always remember your voice is apower changer.
We'll talk to you next time,take care.
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