Episode Transcript
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Tim (00:08):
Welcome to Speaking with
Confidence, a podcast dedicated
to helping you unlock the powerof effective public speaking.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide you on your
journey to becoming a powerfulcommunicator.
I want to thank each and everyone of you for your support.
It truly means the world to me.
Please visit timnewmanspeakscomto get your free ebook the Top
(00:30):
21 Challenges for PublicSpeakers and how to Overcome
them.
Today's guest is Devin Gonzalez.
He has been in the fitnessindustry for more than 15 years
and is the founder, co-owner andCEO of Strive 11 Fitness.
He is also the host of theMindset Cafe podcast and author
of Money Muscle Mindset, theunderground playbook for
(00:51):
aspiring gym owners.
But, most importantly, he's agirl dad, Devin, welcome to the
show bud.
Devan (00:58):
Thank you so much for
having me and that was an
awesome introduction.
Tim (01:00):
Thank you, well you know
for me you know those that
listen to the show.
There's not a show that comesup where I don't mention my
family in some way, shape,manner or form.
And whenever I have guests onthat, that, one of the first
things that they talk about intheir pitch to me or in their
bio what have you is theymentioned their family and they
(01:22):
mentioned their kids.
That, to me, really touches myheart.
So I want to spend some timetalking about being a girl dad
for a second, if you don't mind.
No, definitely.
So I grew up with threebrothers and I was blessed to
having two daughters.
So when my daughters were born,I was thrown into a world that
(01:44):
I had no idea how to navigate.
Did you have brothers orsisters growing up?
I had two younger brothers, ohmy gosh.
So tell me about how you'relearning to navigate this new
world and how we communicate andhow we have to communicate
differently, you know, with ourwives, girlfriends, significant
(02:06):
others and daughters.
Devan (02:09):
Definitely.
And it's funny because weactually have one on the way.
My daughter's three and we haveone on the way.
We don't know the gender yet,but it's weird to think about.
I now that I know how to doeverything, essentially, you
know, with a daughter.
Now it's weird Cause now I'malmost like you know with a
daughter.
Now it's weird because I'malmost like I'd rather have a
daughter, because I got thatdown, at least you know to this
(02:32):
degree that if we had a baby boyit's like, oh man, things are
different, you know, in thecleaning and all that kind of
stuff.
So I'm like it's a weird littleflip for me to think about,
because originally you know Iwas like you know I want a boy,
you know I'm all brothers and soforth, but now it's almost like
I almost want a second daughter.
But the communication aspect ofthe reason I like to mention it
(02:55):
with you know, all theentrepreneurial achievements and
stuff that I have going on isbecause a lot of time in the
entrepreneurial space especially, is like everyone sees what you
have going on from theentrepreneurial standpoint and
then they almost can't relate toit because you're not talking
about your family and how you'reable to do both things and it's
(03:17):
almost.
You have to put on two differentmasks.
Sometimes, right, there's thebusiness side of you, then
there's the family side of you,and you know how do you blend
those right.
There's the business side ofyou, then there's the family
side of you, and you know how doyou blend those Right, and
that's.
I use the word blend because Ithink it is important to realize
that it's.
You're not a professionalathlete in the sense of you are
like Kobe Bryant, where you putthe black mamba mask on and
you're taking it off to be afamily man, like you have to
(03:40):
blend them, or else they startto grow separately and grow
further and further apartseparately, right, so right, you
you have to be able tocommunicate with your, your
significant other, you know, andlet them know what's going on
with the business, let them knowwhat's going on with your
professional life and let themin a little bit so they can feel
a part of that journey, whetherthey're helping or not.
(04:01):
They sometimes just want to be asoundboard for you to vent to,
for you to talk to.
And I learned that you knowearlier in my career of
entrepreneurship that you knowI'm not, I was never raised to
be a vocal person in terms ofthat.
It's you suck it up, you handleit and, you know, get it done.
And that's just how I didthings.
And my mindset originally waswhy would I vent my problems to
(04:25):
you?
There's nothing you can doabout it.
So what's the point of talkingabout it?
Right, and that was the wrongmindset to have, because that's
creating a separation whenyou're supposed to be one with
this other person.
They are your other half, right?
I say my wife's my better twothirds, to be honest.
But you know they're the otherhalf of you and so they want to
(04:50):
feel a part of it.
They want to know that you'revulnerable with them.
Right, and even for my daughter.
Like, right now she doesn't knowa lot, you know, she just knows
she's just getting the conceptof dad has to go to work and you
know she'll ask what'd you doat work?
And I was like I worked.
Oh okay, you know.
But when she gets a little bitolder, the big thing I've talked
to my wife is like I want herto know, like, hey, right now
dad has to work a lot becausehe's going to be doing this.
(05:12):
This is the goal and this iswhy.
And so having her understandthat there are busier seasons in
life, not just in dad's work,but in life.
You're going to be going toschool one day.
You know well, she goes topreschool, but she's going to go
to school.
They're just going to bestudying for tests.
There's going to be busyseasons and that's okay, that's
part of life.
Tim (05:33):
Yeah, you bring up so many
really, really good points that
you know I don't know that we,we generally spend a lot of time
thinking about it.
And so let's let's take it fromthe perspective of what you
brought up about talking to yourwife or significant other about
the problems and the stressesand the successes that go on
with being an entrepreneur,Because I think, from a male
(05:55):
perspective, that's kind ofingrained in us or has been
ingrained in us in ourgeneration and before us.
But you're so right in ourgeneration and before us, but
you're so right.
Why would I want to come homeand unload all the problems on
you when I already know thatyou've got stresses on you.
You've got problems at your job, helping raise the family,
(06:16):
helping do all the other thingsthat I'm not able to do because
I'm over here doing this.
So why would I come home andunload on you?
That's something that we carryourselves as a burden and I
think we're starting to getbetter at that, because I do.
I do think that you know, whenyou share the highs and the lows
(06:39):
, that not only that makes yougrow so much closer but that
also facilitates that wholecommunication piece.
You know, one of the things I'mgoing to be doing with the
podcast is my wife and I.
We work together.
We have our separate thingsthat we do, but we've always
done things together and we'regoing to be doing a kind of a
special segment aboutcommunication between
(07:02):
significant others from a workperspective and how, when you're
at work, you communicate thisway, but at some point you have
to take that hat off and be ahusband, be a wife, be a
significant other, be a mom, bewhatever, and the challenges
that really come with that.
So, number one, I'm really gladthat you brought that up.
Devan (07:24):
No, definitely, and I
think it is.
It is so important and the hatseven change from, you know,
being a husband to being a dad.
And the hard, the hard partthat, I think, is that, as as
men, you know and I hategeneralizing, but as men, like,
typically, we don't share ourproblems because that's how
we're raised or that's howsociety kind of let it on.
(07:46):
And I still think that there,unfortunately, is a fine line,
right, there is an unseen lineof how much you should or can
kind of unload or let them in on, because, at the end of the day
, you don't want to just worrythem, to worry them, right, and
(08:07):
so, if you want them to, there'sthis line that you want them to
feel a part of, you want themto have a voice, and sometimes
I'll already have a solution tothe problem that I was facing
for today and I'm going to fixtomorrow, but sometimes I'll
tell it to my wife and be like,what do you think I'm thinking
about doing this?
But what, what?
You know, what are yourthoughts on that, right, and so,
so now again, they're feeling apart of, but I wouldn't come
(08:28):
home and be like, oh man, todaythis went wrong and this went
wrong and this went wrong, youknow.
So it's like because as much asthis newer age of society wants
vulnerable men right, right,there is this also flip side,
(08:51):
that of too vulnerable of a man.
Then you're seen as notmasculine, and so there's a
weird little intertwine that youhave to find within yourself,
but also there's no right answer.
So you need to find that familydynamic that works for you.
Tim (09:01):
Exactly, exactly and again,
really good points.
And hopefully, you know your,your wife, does the same thing
that mine does.
You know, if I come home andwe're talking about something
and the, the, the solution isclear, she'll just say this is
(09:22):
what you should be doing.
You know that, just go do it.
Just go take care of that, stop, you know, beating around the
bush.
You know this is what you haveto do.
Just go do it.
And you know that's sometimeshaving that other perspective
with somebody who's again who'sin that inner circle with you,
can be real and honest with youand tell you that you're doing
(09:43):
it wrong and you better get ittogether.
Devan (09:45):
I will say that is a
hundred percent true and
sometimes they know you betterthan you know yourself in the
moment.
Right, and so what I mean bythat is that, for example, when
we launched the franchise sideof our business, you know, I
knew it was going to be a hardroad, but I hit a threshold
point at a certain moment whereI was like you know what?
I wanted to sell the firstfranchise by myself, without
(10:08):
having to hire brokers orwhatever.
But it was like seven monthsinto calling leads and doing the
whole process, and I was likemaybe it's just going to be
easier, just to do it.
And my wife, you know I toldher that and she was like don't,
like, don't, you will beatyourself up over that.
(10:29):
You know, if you, if you justtake that easy route out, like
get one under your belt and thendo that if you want, but stick
to it, like I know you.
And I was like I was like dang,you're right.
And then eventually it didhappen and I was, you know so,
so proud of myself for doing it.
But also I was proud of the,the acknowledgement that she
made.
You know, as you know thatrecognizing you know that kind
of moment in myself.
(10:50):
You know that she was like look, she put her foot down.
She's like don't do it, youknow.
But I think the hard part isalso not the hard part but the
communication disconnect thatcan happen between significant
others is at least I've seenfrom my own and some of my
friends and acquaintances isthat especially in the
entrepreneurial space we are soresult driven, like there's a
(11:14):
conversation, there's a problem,there's a solution, right, and
that's not how everyone thinks,let alone that's probably not
how you're significant Otherthings if they're not an
entrepreneur, you know in thebusiness, you know management
space.
So sometimes they just want tovent, right.
And so sometimes me and my wifehad this talk where I was like
she gave me a problem and Ididn't realize she was just
(11:37):
wanting to vent it.
And so she said it and I waslike OK, well, why don't you do
this?
And then she got annoyed andmad at me and I was like I'm
trying to help you.
Tim (11:45):
I'm just trying to help.
Devan (11:47):
It's an easy solution.
I don't understand why I'mgetting in trouble, you know.
And then a couple of weekslater, same thing, same thing.
And then I was like I seewhat's happening.
I was like okay.
I was like I think we need toset like conversational
boundaries so I know at leastwhere what you want from me,
right?
Because immediately when youstart telling me a problem, I'm
already thinking of solutions.
I was like, if you just want meto listen, I'm all game.
(12:08):
If you want a solution, let meknow before we get into the
story.
So I know which side of mybrain to start using.
Tim (12:17):
And she was like okay,
because you listen, you listen
differently, right exactly, yeahyeah, well, wait till your
daughter gets older and thatyou'll, you'll, you'll really,
you'll really wake up.
You know, again, I got to thepoint when, my when, when they
started getting older, I couldtell, when they started walking
down the steps in the morninggetting ready to go to school,
(12:40):
whether I was going to talk tothem or not talk to them, just
by the look on their face, bytheir body language, how they
were treating each other.
And so you know, you learn alot of things and I still say
dumb stuff to them.
I mean dumb guy stuff like youknow.
Like to me it's just stuff likeyou know, like to me, it's just
obvious.
You know, whatever.
And my, my youngest daughter, Iknow she listens to this and
(13:03):
she's going to be so embarrassed.
She was a junior in high schooland came home just devastated.
Devastated because she didn'thave a, a date to to.
It was either homecoming orprom or I can't remember what it
was, and I said what do?
Devan (13:18):
you have a date to.
Tim (13:19):
I mean, who would want, who
wouldn't want, to take you
homecoming or prom?
And my wife, my older daughter?
They just looked at me like Ihad just created some, some sort
of you know heresy.
You know, you don't say that toher.
You know what, I don't know,but you'll say.
You'll say you'll find, you'llfind yourself saying and doing
all kinds of guy things thatwould be appropriate for guys
(13:41):
that you won't even realizeuntil after they come out of
your mouth.
Devan (13:44):
It's going to be great.
I can already kind of tell,because I'll say something to my
3-year-old.
And then my wife just gives mea look and I was like what?
And she's like no, that's nothow you say that Now you're
going to make her mad.
And I was like I don't knowwhat are you talking about.
You know, and even when shewakes up, like I can tell by her
eyebrows, like if say, say goodmorning or don't, don't talk to
(14:05):
her, like yeah exactly Exactlyso when you know when, when
you're, when you're training,you know females, do you talk to
them differently?
Tim (14:17):
I mean because I I mean I
obviously, you know, when my
kids were younger I did a lot ofcoaching, you know, for them
and you know, I kind of comefrom that space and I found
myself talking to, to femaleskind of the same way, maybe not
nearly as harsh, but in the samesame manner, same terms, same
(14:39):
um, with same idea in mind.
How about you?
I mean, do you change?
Do you change your approach atall?
Devan (14:47):
I mean, that is a great
question for someone at that
question.
So, thinking about it, you know, no, I don't think I've ever
changed my approach.
I will say that I adapt myapproach to the person to a
degree Like I've never been fromthe personal training side,
from the business side, I am notone of those raw, raw trainers
(15:08):
Like I let people know that upfront I'm not a drill sergeant
but I'm not going to be here,just you got this, you got this,
come on.
You know.
No, like you know what you needto do, and so if you're like I
can't do this, like I'm gonnasit there and stare at you, I'm
like are we really gonna do thisright now?
Like come on, you got this,let's go.
And it's more of just a seriousstraightforward like right,
(15:29):
you're here for a reason.
And so I will say, though theadaptation comes from more of
the mindset side, of if a clientis being more open and being
more vulnerable, I will try tohelp them shift their
perspectives.
Or even I mean, as a trainerand stuff you even get into,
like the life coaching, you knowtherapist side of it, you know
(15:51):
to a degree, and so guys usuallydon't open up as much, and if
they do, it's a lot morestraight guy talk and short
sentences.
But for girls, letting themknow and trying to give them the
male perspective of the side,but not going against them and
kind of opening that up, is theonly real difference, I guess I
(16:11):
would say in terms of coaching.
But when it comes down to you,have a goal in mind, like
there's the path, like there'snot going to be.
You know me holding your hand.
This is your journey we'regoing to.
I'm going to be there to guideyou, but you got this.
Tim (16:27):
Yeah, but you and you have
to actually do the work and
that's kind of really theapproach that I would take as
well.
And and you know, I thinkespecially from you know, the
fitness industry perspective, achange in mindset and and really
being a counselor, because,again, you're not just dealing
with you know the physicalaspect of it.
(16:47):
You're dealing with so manyother other.
You know components, like yousaid, mindset, like you said
diet, like, like you said,lifestyle, um, everything that
goes into becoming a, you know,a healthy individual.
You know, a lot of times wefocus on the physical and we
forget a lot of other things,but you know how those a number
(17:08):
of different things and mindsetand some of those other pieces
that I doubt do come into play.
Devan (17:22):
Right, and I will say I
mean as a coach too, you also
have to realize that yourclients results are a basically
a living, breathing testimonialto you.
So for me, that's how I viewedit, and so I was straightforward
with my clients.
I will go above and beyond.
I will give you 110%, but Iexpect 100% right.
(17:44):
And so I will give youeverything that you need as much
coaching, as much advice thatyou need, I will.
If we don't, if I don't knowsomething, I will do the
research to give you an answer.
You know above and beyond, butI expect you know you to do the
work, and if you don't, then I'mgoing to essentially fire you
(18:05):
as a client because there'ssomeone else that wants that
time with me and is willing toput in the work.
But you are taking it from them, right?
And so that was one of thethings.
I kind of set that tone out thegate.
And you know, if you're superflaky, you know there's no need
for that.
Like I'm all aboutcommunication, if life happens,
you can't make it.
Tim (18:22):
Yeah, and that's look,
communication.
It's critical, right, right,and that's to me, that's, and I
try and get that through, youknow, through to my clients as
well.
That's just a common courtesy,right?
I mean, if you're running late.
(18:42):
hey, I'm running late.
Do we need to reschedule, Notjust oh, sorry, I'm late, I
showed up, sorry, I'm late.
Or common courtesy that we haveto maybe refocus on.
And you know, think about howour actions affect other people
(19:05):
and that domino effect, right?
Because let's just say, forexample, right, I'm 15 minutes
late and I'm still going to beexpecting you to spend that full
, let's just say hour, and nowyou're 15 minutes late to the
next client, 15 minutes late tothe next client.
Now you end up getting home toyour family an hour and a half
late because of one person whoyou know what I mean.
Devan (19:30):
No, and I mean those are.
I mean those are some of thethings that you can kind of set
ahead of time, cause, like, Ithink that there's two sides of
the coin and I've seen thecoaches that expect it to be one
sided and I don't think itworks like that, just like
communications, a two way street.
So life happens in a client,you know, down the whole journey
of you guys, you know goingabout it, you know we'll, we'll
(19:54):
be late one time, right, and aslong as they're like, hey, I'm
running a few minutes late, allright, no problem, thank you for
letting me know.
Now, before this all happens,you can set the standard of hey,
I do have a client right afteryou, like, if you want to
reschedule, like you won't losethe session, you know I won't
charge you so we can get thefull time.
Or you know we can do what wegot with the time that we have.
And then that makes it, youknow, a little bit more open to
(20:17):
the, to the client be beingwilling to lose that time.
But on the flip side of that, ifI'm running late, right, and
it's my fault.
Now, one, I let the client knowahead of time, but two, it's
like now I have to give themsomething as well.
So either one, I do have topush everyone back and still get
(20:42):
full time, or you know what itwas my fault for running, you
know, 15 minutes late today,like today's on me.
You know I won't count this oneagainst you, like this is my
fault.
And so the the street goes twoways, because I've seen coaches
that show up late and expect itto be okay, and then a client
shows up late and they make itlike it's the end of the world.
Tim (20:56):
Right, right, and that to
me that kind of comes with the
territory.
I mean, at one point in my lifethat would bother me.
But you know, again, that'sjust people being to me, that's
just people being people.
And you know, I don't know whatyou got going on, I'm not going
(21:18):
to, you know, fly off thehandle, because you, because
you're, you're, because I feelyou're being unreasonable, and
okay, so I apologize, I'm likeyou know it's, there's only so
much I can do.
I, I get it and and just kindof move on and and you know, I
tell, I tell people all the time.
A lot of times, when people arecomplaining about things like
that, they just want to be heard.
And you, you kind of stroke alittle bit and you say you're
(21:40):
maya culpas and you and you andyou give them value, because if
you're giving them value thatwhatever that was that happened,
they're going to forget aboutin really no time at all.
Uh, so it's, it's to me it justkind of comes with territory
and you just smile and just youknow.
Devan (21:59):
I will say Go ahead.
No, no, no, go for it, go forit.
Tim (22:05):
Just saying you as an
entrepreneur, I mean.
There's no way that you canmake everybody happy all the
time and, like you said,sometimes life comes up and you
can only do so much.
Devan (22:19):
No, yeah, I mean, I was
going to say that, something
that you said too.
I noticed I got a betterresponse from communication with
, instead of saying I'm sorry,because when, even when a client
says I'm sorry, all of a suddenit puts them in a weird place,
because now they're apologizing,they're, you know, walking in a
center with their head downRight, and so same thing for you
(22:41):
as a coach, if you're.
You know, I'm so sorry that I'mrunning late, you know, and I'm
so sorry that you know I had todo this to you.
Now, again, you're having tocome in almost like with your
tail between your legs in theinstant.
Instead, like what I've kind ofreframed my, my communication
is like, hey, I'm running 15minutes late, like, thank you so
much for understanding.
If you do want to, you knowreschedule.
(23:03):
I completely understand, butyou know, thank you so much for
understanding, you know.
And then all of a sudden thatyou walk in.
You know this is, you know, sounfortunate that I was, you know
, 15 minutes late, but again,thank you so much for
understanding.
Tim (23:23):
Yes, that's a great way to
handle it.
Devan (23:25):
It really is.
Tim (23:26):
And I think the terminology
and how we frame it, and
obviously how we frame everymessage, is important.
But especially where we haven'teither lived up to our standard
or something comes up, or whathave you something's out of our
control either lived up to ourstandard or something comes up,
or what have you something's outof our control, you know, frame
(23:47):
it again to that point wherenot only do they understand but
they feel valued.
To me, it always comes back tothe value.
So when you started, you knowStrive 11 and you're doing the
(24:07):
hiring, what are you looking forfrom a communication
perspective?
Because, again, let's back upjust so that everybody
understands where I'm comingfrom.
I don't care what industry youget into.
I really don't.
Everything revolves aroundpeople, everything revolves
around relationships, everythingrevolves around connection, and
(24:34):
that's where I always start.
That being said, in theindustry that you're in, nothing
can be further from the truththan that, because it is a
person-to-person connection,people-to-people business.
So what?
Devan (24:45):
are you actually looking
for?
It's funny, we have actuallytwo parts to our interview
process, because our model isactually like a bootcamp style
model, and so you're notone-to-one.
You know you might beone-to-one if the room only has
one client in it, but typicallyit's, you know, two to 20, right
(25:07):
.
And so you're having to bevocal, you're having to
communicate to multiple people,be personable and build rapport
to multiple people at a giventime.
Now, with that being said,that's not easy and it is a
skill you can develop, but therehas to be an initial basis for
us to work with, but there hasto be an initial basis for us to
work with.
So what our interview processnormally starts for is we do a
(25:30):
phone call interview, right, andthat is essentially the first
step, and it's a way for us tokind of weed out some of the
candidates that have an amazingresume, but that's all they
really kind of bring to thetable is just, you know,
accomplishments and titles andcertifications and all this kind
of stuff, but it doesn't holdany weight in the actual real
(25:51):
world.
So the reason why we do thephone call interview is because
now you're not having to, youknow, be presentable.
You're not, you could be inyour safe space wherever you're
the most confident, right?
And if you can't hold theconversation on the phone, how
are you going to do that inperson?
Let alone, how are you going todo that communicating to 10 to
(26:13):
20 people, right?
So that's our first step.
The second step for us is, youknow, if they pass that part,
which is, you know super basicquestions, and then they come
into the gym, they actually haveto do one of our workouts,
right?
And when they come in to do oneof the workouts, it's not about
how well they do the workout,because I mean, I'll be honest
that our workouts even kick mybutt and it's it's to see.
(26:35):
Do they know the fundamentalexercise techniques, such as a
squat, such as a push up, youknow all those kind of things.
And then, after that interviewnow we have a full or after they
do that workout, now we have afull interview, you know, in
person.
And now it's like, okay, let'ssee their personality, let's see
their body language, let's seehow they present themselves when
being, you know, talked to faceto face.
(26:58):
One of the other things thatwhat the manager our manager,
you know, wanted to startimplementing and so we did is,
after the workout, the traineractually or the candidate
actually gets up and runs theexercise a little bit and just
to see how their presence wouldbe on the floor and honestly,
that has actually been kind oftransformational in the approach
(27:21):
, right.
So we test out a few differentthings, but the main thing is
like, how can you communicatewhen you're in a safe space?
Do you communicate the same waywhen you're face to face?
And then, are you loud?
When it's a group setting, areyou still quiet?
And all of a sudden there'smultiple people and you were
this extrovert when it was justme and you, and now that you're
(27:41):
in a group setting, now you'rein a shell, right.
So having them, having them trythe workout and then really
doing that training a little bitjust to see how they run the
program from a standpoint of youknow, can you be loud on the
floor, can you actually bepresentable, do you have the
(28:01):
tone, do you have the energy, isone of the crucial factors of
just being a trainer, let alonea group fitness trainer yeah,
you really have to when you'rebeing trained.
Tim (28:12):
You have to show command of
, of the skill, you have to show
command of the room, um, of ofknowledge, of.
You have to have a uh, you haveto have to period.
And you know, one of the firstsigns of not being confident is
weak and timid voice.
Devan (28:35):
And your body language
too.
Are you standing with yourhands in your pockets?
Are you crossing your arms?
Are you, you know, looking atsomeone's eyes when you're
talking to them?
I mean all those things goalong with it.
You know you could be loud andyelling on the floor, but you
know, and then all of a suddenbe looking at the ground.
Who are you talking to?
Tim (28:55):
Right, right.
And so when you're doing thisand you know you've got somebody
who's got the skills of youknow the knowledge and skills to
be somebody who can be good,but has that imposter syndrome,
has that whatever it is that'sholding them back, how do you
bring that out of them and getthem to understand that you've
(29:18):
got the skills that you need todo this and do this well and be
successful?
Devan (29:24):
How do you bring that out
of them, letting them know that
there definitely is a comfortphase that they have to get
through right.
They have to be, they have tothey do have to get comfortable
on the floor.
I will say, for example, youknow I told my, my mastermind
group like the owners of it, youknow, my mentors that I was
going to be on their stages, youknow, in the next five years.
(29:44):
And the reason I said fiveyears is because I hadn't
launched my franchise yet.
And you know that was just atimeline I saw.
But I I told them that becauseI like being held accountable
and I also thought it'd be coolthat when I did do it, I could
show them the text you know,from a couple years back and so
forth, and I ended up doing itin two years.
And I bring that story upbecause, even though I could
(30:07):
stand in front of 50 people inmy gym and even though it's a
group setting, my gym is still acomfort space.
Any gym for me, essentially, isa comfort space, right, and you
need to learn multiple timesdifferent ways, and so forth.
Now there's another 30 days foryou to prove that you can get
out of that comfort phase and,you know, implement some of the
(30:28):
stuff that we've taught.
But through that whole timewe're still coaching.
Like every shift we have withour trainers, we do a post-shift
recap like what went reallywell for the shift, what needed
to be improved for the shift andso forth.
And if someone can't step outof that comfort zone within 60
days of doing it and you know, Imean, usually they work at
least three shifts a week If youcan't do that, then you know
(30:50):
maybe this ain't the role foryou.
Tim (30:53):
Right, that's a great plan.
Are you getting good feedbackfrom that?
Because you know mostbusinesses really kind of
overlook the training anddevelopment from soft skills and
communication skills and theyjust lead people to their own
devices.
So are you getting goodfeedback from that?
Devan (31:10):
I mean I will say the
feedback is the results that the
trainers have done right andeach trainer that has came on
board with us didn't start offbeing able to sell because we
don't have a sales staff, wedon't have a front desk staff.
Our model, our trainers, arethe ones that do it all because
our belief is that the trainersare on the floor.
(31:31):
Building the rapport with theclient is naturally the easiest
for them to do the one, theselling, but also giving them
the opportunity to earncommission, earn bonuses and so
forth.
So we're taking people thatdon't normally know how to sell
and teach them how to sell andget comfortable selling and all
that kind of stuff.
And it's been working thus far.
And our trainers have said inthe beginning they were super
(31:53):
intimidated and they didn't knowhow to talk about money and now
you know they're crushing it.
Tim (31:58):
You know I think that's an
awesome way to approach it.
Awesome way to approach it.
You know when, when you weregoing through, you know your
with your mastermind and youwere having those doubts.
Do you know where they camefrom?
Do you?
Did you ever kind of figurethat out?
(32:19):
Or did did?
Devan (32:20):
you just like, like most
of us do, just get over it by
doing it.
I mean I'm I'm the kind ofperson I'll get over, get over
it by doing it, like, asuncomfortable as it is.
I know, if I'm the kind ofperson that I'll get over it by
doing it as uncomfortable as itis, I know if I just do it once,
the next time it won't be asbad.
And for me, I think theuncomfortability is still almost
like that imposter syndrome toa degree, because even when I
(32:42):
did move up to the top tier inthe mastermind and we do
quarterly meetups, and so thefirst meetup I was at, you know,
it was in Rosarito, mexico, andnot everyone out of the 30
people wanted to go to Mexico,so there was eight of us and now
there was no sitting in theback of the room and hiding in
the crowd, and so not only was Ithe youngest entrepreneur there
(33:03):
, but I was also my business wasthe youngest business there,
and so I'm sitting at a breakouttable.
You know a circle of, basically, and we all, you know, talking
about our problems and what'sgoing right, what's going wrong,
and so some of these guys aredoing seven, eight figures and
I'm mid five figure or sixfigures sorry, mid six figures
(33:24):
and I'm like man, is this eventhe table I'm supposed to be
sitting at?
You know?
Like how, what kind of advicecould I give these guys?
But then, before the breakout,you know, we had lunch and I was
like man, I think that I wouldrather get a pat on the head and
be like, okay, good job, youknow, but it didn't really apply
.
Then me not try to give theadvice, and it be a different
(33:49):
perspective that they could haveused to solve their problem.
But I was too scared to, youknow, to basically be judged by
them, to not help them out.
And so I was like you know what?
It doesn't hurt me, it doesn'thelp me by giving the advice,
I'm just going to give it.
It is what it is.
After that.
And so each person I gaveadvice to, and afterwards, each
(34:10):
of them, actually, you know, wewere talking afterwards and each
of them gave me complimentslike dude, like you think
different, like you're, you'rereally smart.
And I was like, oh, thanks, Iappreciate it, and left it alone
.
But then the owners are talkingto me and, like you know, do
you want to be on the podcast?
Like you know, I think it'd bean awesome, you'd be an awesome
(34:31):
value and it was like almostthat reassurance.
That imposter syndrome is allself self-belief right On paper.
I am a CEO on paper, I am abusiness owner on paper and it's
like so what is the impostersyndrome Like on paper?
All of us are this right.
It's because you're settingthat title or that thing to be
of something on a pedestal oryou where your role model is,
(34:53):
and since you're not there inyour own vision, you must be an
imposter.
That's not the case.
It's like major league baseballplayers, for example.
There's the major leagues andthen there's the minor leagues,
but they're still professionalbaseball players and you know,
there's so much to be said forjust doing the thing right.
Tim (35:17):
Just do it.
We can figure out what it islater, but right now it's time
to do it.
We have to just stand up and dowhatever it is that's that we
think is holding us back, um, uhand.
And if we never do it, thatvoice that's holding us back
(35:40):
gets louder and louder andlouder and takes so much more
control over not only thataction but every subsequent
action that helps us lead up tothat.
Devan (35:50):
Yes, it is so true.
I mean, the longer you wait, themore fear gets to set in, the
more the intimidating factorsare setting in and the more what
ifs start to build up in yourbrain.
There's this psychology, youknow, principle of the five
second rule, and I'm not talkingabout if you drop a piece of
gum on the floor, you can pickit up in five seconds.
(36:12):
Right, it's the five secondrule.
Right, if you, if you have agoal, or let's say you're going
to go out on stage, and beforeyou or before you commit to
going out on stage, someone youknow raise their hand.
That hand, like I need aspeaker to go on stage Before
you can let fear set in, just doit Before five seconds hits,
(36:33):
just do it.
And so, within that five secondframe, you haven't let that fear
and those what ifs build up yet, and so it's a lot easier just
to start taking that action.
And then, once you what I'vefound is, once you start taking
the action, it doesn't seem asbad as you could have let it
build up to.
Right, it's a hill versus amountain.
Tim (36:56):
And then when it's all over
, we realize that we did it to
ourselves, and the people thatwere that we were so, that were
so afraid of judging us, weren'tjudging us at all.
Devan (37:12):
Exactly.
And one thing I mean as bad asthis sounds, you know the, the
shift that I tell people.
Some people is like, pick oneperson that you're like, wow, I
can't believe that person wasable to do that Right.
And then you think if they wereable to do it, I definitely
could do it Right.
And this is something like youknow, back to our fraternity
days.
You know, in college I toldlike some of the pledges I was
(37:32):
like, just look at all of theactive members.
There's a few of them that arelike they went through the
process you're going through.
All you have to think about isif they were able to make it.
You're definitely able to makeit Right, and so that's just
what you have to think about incertain things, if certain, if
you pick a person up there, ifthey could do public speaking, I
could definitely do it.
Not saying it's not going to bescary or that you're not going
(37:53):
to have, you know, butterfliesand you know anything like that,
but you're able to do it.
Tim (37:58):
I don't know, for whatever
reason we think that we have to
have this big elaborate, youknow story or have overcome some
big elaborate thing.
But it's not.
Not the case, it's just just dothe thing, just tell the story,
just, you know, move somebodyfrom point a to point b exactly.
Devan (38:17):
That's really all it is.
Yeah, and I think that mostpeople think they don't have a
story because it's their story,right, and once you start
telling your story and this wasactually something I learned
that from podcasting and fromstuff is like my story I didn't
think was a story until all of asudden people saw my
accomplishments and stuff, thatyou've done a lot in a short
(38:38):
amount of time, and they startgiving me all this recognition.
I'm like, really Like I didn't,I don't really think about it.
And they're like tell me aboutthis, tell me, and I'm like
that's I?
I'm like, really I didn't, Idon't really think about it.
And they're like tell me aboutthis.
And I'm like that's, I thoughtthis was just kind of normal,
right, and so it's like what isnormal to you isn't normal to
everyone.
Your story, your journey, is ajourney, a story to someone else
, and it almost, it almostresonates more because you don't
(39:02):
think you have this amazingstory.
Most people don't think thateither, right?
So if, if you have this storyand I'm going to use an example,
because I've seen a trend of itand not saying that all of them
are false, but you know,there's this trend of growing
social media influencers thatyou know their story is.
They went to prison, theyreformed their life, now they're
a coach and so forth.
(39:23):
And I've seen like 15 peoplethe same story and I've seen
like 15 people with the samestory and I'm like, okay, guys,
like I can tell that you gotcoached by this guy and you guys
, your story is pretty muchidentical to his story.
Like that's not a story.
Like, change it up.
What did you really do?
What really happened?
What you know was your mindsetshifts, all that kind of stuff.
So it's like sometimes theauthentic is just being what you
(39:46):
think.
Isn't this grand story or novel, and that's what resonates with
people, because they can seethemselves in you and that's the
key.
Tim (39:56):
They see something of them
in you and that's one of the
things that moves them 100%.
Where they are to the next step,exactly, exactly, 100% to the
next step, exactly.
And I think that people likeyou and people I wouldn't say
(40:17):
like me, but that's the impostersyndrome coming in right.
We help people.
That's what we do.
That's why we're here, that'swhy we've been gravitated
towards.
What we do is because we helppeople.
And just think about what wouldhappen if your calling was to
(40:37):
help somebody and you letwhatever was in your head hold
you back, how you're not onlyfailing yourself, you're failing
all those other people that youcould could have been helped.
Devan (40:49):
Exactly, and that's the
biggest thing is you have to
realize that if your goal is tohelp people and you're not
telling your story or you're notdoing the thing that you know
you should be doing, are youreally not?
Are you not doing it becauseyou're scared?
Well, if you're scared, realizeyou're not helping the people
you thought you were going to behelping because you're you're
too scared.
(41:10):
It's like come on, like they'rescared too.
You be the, you be the big one.
Take that step of and being youknow and take a step into that
fear, because the fear is justfear is just of the unknown,
right?
You don't know what's aroundthe corner.
You don't know what happens ifyou step on stage.
You don't know what happens ifyou start a business.
But then once you take thatfirst step, it's like a little
(41:34):
bit of light comes around thenext step and then you just take
that step and you just take thenext step and that's all the
game of life and success is isjust take the next step ahead of
you.
That's it.
Tim (41:45):
That's it.
Well Devin this.
This has been great.
Where can people find you to towork with you?
Um, I I know your your Strive11 is expanding, but where can
they find you to work with you?
Devan (41:57):
So you can find
everything that I've got going
on and connect with me on mywebsite, devingonzalezcom.
Um, it's just kind of a hubwith all my social medias and
everything with Strive 11 onthere.
Tim (42:08):
That's awesome and I'll put
that in the show notes for
everybody.
But again, devin, thank you somuch for sharing with the
Speaking with Confidencecommunity.
You shared a lot of greatinformation.
I wish you the best incommunicating with your daughter
and congratulations on the newone on the way there's.
I mean, I love being a dad.
But I was talking to somebodyyesterday.
(42:30):
There's nothing and I don'twish this on you yet there's
nothing better than being agrandfather.
I love being a dad.
Devan (42:36):
That's down the road.
That's down the road.
Tim (42:38):
That's way down the road.
So again, thank you so much forspending some time with us, bud
.
Thank you, be sure to visitspeakingwithconfidencepodcastcom
to get free resources and joina growing community and register
for the Forum for PublicSpeaking.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change the world.
We'll talk to you next time,take care.