September 1, 2025 • 49 mins
How can young adults overcome overwhelm and start communicating with genuine confidence in today’s digital age?
Today, I’m thrilled to be joined by Nick Batchelder—a 21-year-old author, podcaster, and speaker who’s committed to making sure fewer people reach their 30s saying, “I wish I would have done more in my 20s.” Nick brings a rare peer perspective to personal development, focusing on the unique challenges and strengths of people in their 20s and early 30s. He’s already written a book, built a growing podcast, and spoken to countless young adults about their hurdles with confidence, communication, and taking action. Nick’s insights aren’t just theoretical—they’re born from real, relatable experience.
In our conversation, Nick and I explore a topic central to both of our work: what’s really holding back Gen Z and young millennials when it comes to building confidence in communication? Why—despite being the most connected and entrepreneurial generation—are so many young people struggling with the basics of interpersonal interaction? Nick shares what he sees on the frontline with his peers, from the overwhelming abundance of choices in the digital era to the comfort (and isolation) that comes with virtual living. We candidly talk about why it’s now easier than ever to avoid in-person interactions, and how that avoidance is quietly eroding essential soft skills.
Here’s what we cover in this episode:
- The impact of digital life on interpersonal communication skills in young adults
- Why overwhelm from too many choices leads to avoidance and inaction
- The difference between being aware of what needs improvement and actually taking steps to improve
- How to use playfulness and improv to rapidly develop communication confidence
- Avoiding the trap of memorized scripts, and why thinking on your feet builds more resilience
- The real reasons young adults don’t act on the changes they know they need fear, laziness, and lack of structure
- How generational differences in upbringing (free play vs. constant supervision) impact adult communication and confidence
- Nick’s experiences with peer feedback, criticism, and staying grounded amid public scrutiny
- The double-edged sword of social media curation and self-image
- Tangible ways to make networking less intimidating even for introverts
- The critical importance of being present and genuinely engaged in building relationships
- How self-awareness makes connecting with others easier (and why it’s okay not to connect with everyone)
- The role that reading and being a role model for learning plays in personal growth
- Why it’s normal for growth to be uneven progress over perfection every time
If you want more from Nick, you can find his book, Crush Your 20s, on Amazon, or check out his podcast, Building the Blueprint, on Spotify and YouTube. And of course, don’t forget to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com for more resources including a free eBook and details about our public speaking course.
Thanks for listening and remember, your voice really does have the power to change the world.
Want to be a guest on Speaking With Confidence? Send Tim Newman a message on PodMatch
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tim Newman (00:10):
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, a
podcast that helps you build thesoft skills that lead to real
results communication,storytelling, public speaking
and showing up with confidencein every conversation that
counts.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide you on a
journey to becoming a powerfulcommunicator.
Today's guest is NickBatchelder.
(00:32):
Nick is on a mission tocultivate a world where less
people say I wish I would havedone blank in my 20s.
He's an author, podcaster andspeaker targeting 20-35 year
olds looking for a peerperspective in the self-help
genre.
If you want to learn more aboutwhat your peers are going
through and how they aretackling issues like speaking
(00:54):
with confidence, this is theperfect episode for you.
Nick, welcome to the show.
You are officially the youngestguest we've had and you can
come.
You come with intimateknowledge of what people like me
are talking about in for peoplein your generation.
Nick Batchelder (01:11):
Tim, thank you for having me.
I'm excited.
That's an honor 21.
Yeah, recently turned 21.
Tim Newman (01:17):
Congratulations.
You know, I know that's a bigmilestone.
You know I say you're theyoungest and it's it's kind of
funny because I view myself asbeing 12.
Nick Batchelder (01:30):
Okay, I like it .
Tim Newman (01:32):
You know, you know, right before we started, I'd say
about an hour ago, you know, mywife is a realtor and she's
getting ready to film somecontent and she was looking for
a catchy phrase about somethingand I immediately started
laughing.
And she asked what for a catchyphrase about something?
And I immediately startedlaughing and she asked what I
was laughing at.
I told her and she said how oldare you?
Cause it was.
You know.
You know potty.
Yeah, you know it's, it's, it'swhat we do, but but anyway,
(01:54):
Playful spirit.
Exactly, exactly, but but againI mean you're, you're in the
weeds with this thing on what Italk about, especially from
confidence in communication.
So I also think that youyourself and I mentioned this to
(02:15):
you when we spoke I thinkyou're like in the 1% of your
generation in what you're doing.
You're 21 years old.
You already have a book.
You've got a podcast that'sdoing really well.
You're 21 years old.
You already have a book.
You've got a podcast that'sdoing really well.
You're doing public speaking,you're doing some coaching, and
that's why I say you're in likethe 1%.
Now I think your generation isand I told you this is probably
(02:39):
the smartest and mostentrepreneurial.
But where I think yourgeneration falls down is in that
communication piece.
What do you see amongst yourpeers from that perspective?
Nick Batchelder (02:52):
I agree, I think we have a lot of energy
and a lot of passion and I think, ultimately, where we fall
short is because of this digitalage.
We're starting to lose thatcommunication piece, and I would
say more so, the in-personcommunication piece.
One of the biggest things thatI see with my peers is it's
never been easier to avoidin-person interaction.
(03:12):
If you wanted to right Like, ifyou really want to like, you
can stay inside all day, likeyou don't need to take class, I
can take online classes.
I can door dash food to my door, right, I don't have to.
I can meet friends on Xbox LikeI don't need to go out to the
cafeteria or the bars.
And so I think what's happenedis a lot of people are just
reliant on their home life andthey have all this energy and
(03:33):
they get all this content andthey see all this stuff come up
on their feed, but they don'tactually get the wraps in for
like, okay, like, how do Icommunicate, how do I present
myself, how do I feel moreconfident?
And I think it just starts tooverwhelm a lot of people.
Tim Newman (03:44):
Yeah, so when you talk about it, it overwhelming
people.
What do you mean by that?
Because you know, I think thatyou know we've this isn't
something that I, at least frommy perspective.
I don't know that that justhappened, but where do you think
this overwhelm comes from andwhat does it feel like?
Nick Batchelder (04:06):
I think we have way too many options right.
There's a really cool studythat shows if you go to buy jam
right, there's 36 options mostpeople don't buy any jam.
If there's three options, likea third of the people bought jam
, and I think that's what yousee.
With social media and just withthe digital ages, we can kind
of do anything.
Right, I could do literallyanything and it's so cool and I
can see any content I want to do.
I can go out and use my time inso many ways I think it's just
(04:29):
overwhelming.
It's like wow, like there's toomuch to pick from and people
kind of shut down a little bitand go you know what.
I'm just going to do, what I'mcomfortable with.
I'm going to do what I know,and a lot of that just depends
then on you know how they grewup.
If they grew up playing sportsand you know playing Xbox, like
they're just going to continueto do sports and Xbox.
If they grew up you know goingout and traveling, they're
(04:49):
probably going to do moretraveling.
So I think a lot of it now isreliant more so on how you grew
up, if cause because there's toomany options for some people.
Tim Newman (04:57):
Yeah, and we'll get back to the jam thing here a
little bit.
I you referenced that in one ofyour recent, one of your recent
podcasts.
Yeah, and I definitely 100agree with you.
There's so many options, somany choices and you know, I, we
have that overwhelm and so we,we choose nothing.
(05:18):
And you know, I don't know.
That's indicative of just yourgeneration.
I think that you know that thatruns a gamut of everybody, but
you know, specifically with,with your generation, you're,
you're, you're right, you dohave so many different,
different things that you can do, different ways that you can
actually communicate with people, and the hardest one is that
interpersonal.
(05:38):
Is that actually talking tosomebody that's actually sitting
down, having a coffee withsomebody that you don't know?
You know just trying to getinformation, you know.
So what do you see would be?
How can we?
Nick Batchelder (05:59):
help people in your generation to kind of get
over that hump a little bit.
You know, it's really funnythat you mentioned being 12
years old, because one of thebig things that I've been
talking about in coachingrecently is playfulness and
improv.
I think one of the best ways toactually develop confidence and
not even be confident, but justto start down this journey is
to have more of a mentality ofplayfulness and more mentality
(06:20):
of improv.
Because what I found is themore that I can improv in the
moment, the more flexibility Ihave, the more confidence I have
.
So you know, I'll give you anexample.
When I'm public speaking right,so many people have scripts and
I used to do this all the timewhere I'd have a script and I'd
go up and I have like word forword, I know what I'm going to
say.
But that's really scary becauseif I get off my script at all,
(06:41):
like I'm screwed, I'm dead inthe water because I don't know
what's coming next.
And that's like one of thefirst public speaking tips I get
people is like stop memorizing.
You know, practice publicspeaking and I have an exercise
where I hand people a randomitem, like this glass case, and
I have them tell me a storyabout it, right, and they just
have to make up a story for 60seconds.
Tim Newman (07:14):
And you know, I've gotten pretty good at that and
what I've noticed is, you know,the better I get at improv and
being able to think on my feet,the more confident I am that I
can go into any situation andlike be okay, right, like okay,
I'm going to figure out what tosay, I'm gonna figure out what
to do.
Was there a moment in your lifethat kind of pushed you into
this realm of, let's just say,personal development?
Because again, at least from myperspective, I don't think you
(07:34):
just woke up a year ago and saidI'm going to write a book and
I'm going to start being good atcommunicating, being a public
speaker and doing a podcast.
Was there something that kindof drove you down this road?
Nick Batchelder (07:47):
It was a culmination of a lot of little
things.
I think when I went to college,that was a big part of it,
because I was on my own for thefirst time and it kind of felt
like you know, kind of turning anew leaf, new chapter of my
life, and I was like okay, likeI want to start this chapter
different, and I think it was acombination of one.
I want to start this chapterdifferent, and I think it was a
combination of one.
I was like all right, I have afresh start.
Two, there's a lot of holesthat I want to fill.
(08:10):
I think I had really goodawareness.
I think I've always had goodawareness and I think when I got
to college, I was very aware ofwhat I was lacking.
I did not have goodcommunication skills, I wasn't
very confident, I wasn't good atreading, I wasn't really trying
to develop myself, and I thinkI had just had enough of that
and I was like all right, I'mkind of over it and I say third,
(08:32):
I just had a lot of good rolemodels.
I have a lot of good rolemodels in my family and my, my
parents, friends that I've gotto grow up around and see them
develop.
And I'd say that combination ofthose three kind of came
together right when I got tocollege and was a perfect little
storm.
Tim Newman (08:48):
So of your peers, how many of them do you think
have that?
And I'm glad you brought up thewhole idea of awareness,
because awareness takes on anumber of different shapes and
sizes and scenarios.
How many people in your friendgroup, in your age group, in
(09:10):
your peer group do you think,notice or develop that awareness
or have developed thatawareness.
Nick Batchelder (09:19):
Yeah, I think it's different because I'd say
there's two, like I would say,more than you think have the
awareness, just not that manyactually act on it.
Okay, I would say, you know, Iwould say probably anywhere from
half to two thirds would be myguess that people who have that
awareness of you know they needto develop or what they're
missing or what they could getbetter at.
(09:40):
And I say the biggestdifference is probably only like
20% to 30% are acting on itright or actively going.
Okay, like I want to change, orI see this and I feel motivated
enough to change, and that canbe different.
Sometimes something bad enoughhappens and it motivates you to
change.
Sometimes you just have a lotof really good people around you
(10:00):
that are crushing it and you'regoing well, if they're doing it
, I want to do it Right and itdepends on the individual
circumstances, but I would saymore than you think are aware of
it and just not that many areactively acting on it.
Tim Newman (10:12):
So what are some of the reasons that they're not
acting on?
It?
Does it run the gamut of?
They don't know what to do,they don't know the steps, they
don't know who to go to.
What are some of the the someof the reasoning behind that?
Nick Batchelder (10:26):
I think it's just hard and I think we're just
innately lazy creatures.
Like, just by our being, likewe don't want to do things right
, we're going to take the pathof least resistance.
One of the endeavors I went onfor a while was career
development help for collegestudents.
Okay, I was having a reallyhard time actually getting
people to engage with me outsideof the presentations.
(10:46):
I'd kind of show up, I'd givethe presentation, I'd be like,
hey, if you want more help, likereach out to me, I'm here.
And no one would reach out andI was like why is this?
And it's it's one of thosethings where it's like there's
so many resources out there, forexample, with professional
development, the school offersresources.
I was being a resource andpeople weren't reaching out and
and it was ultimately because,one, it's just hard and it takes
(11:06):
effort, and two, it's justscary for some people.
And so I would say those arethe two big things.
It's like it's either just toohard and they don't have enough
oomph or motivation oraccountability to get there, and
two, they're just maybe scared.
Tim Newman (11:22):
Yeah, that whole idea of being scared of it for
whatever reason, right, I meanit could be any number of
reasons why they're fearfulright.
It could be.
They don't want to look stupid,they don't want to sound stupid
, they don't want to lookincompetent.
They don't know what they wantto do.
(11:44):
They don't have direction.
Nick Batchelder (11:44):
I mean it know.
They don't know what they wantto do, they don't have direction
.
Tim Newman (11:46):
I mean, it could be any number of different things
right and I get that's a reallybig hurdle and a hump and I
would say that, you know, frommy perspective, that goes for
every generation, that goes forevery generation.
You know, I, I think that thereare you're, depending on where
(12:07):
you are in life you have those,you have those hurdles, you have
those, those, those barriers tosuccess that I think that we,
we, we put up ourselves right,because nobody is telling you
that you can't do something, oror, if they are, you're not
listening to it.
Right, you know when you can'tdo something, or or if they are,
you're not listening to it,right?
You know, when you don't dosomething, it's because you're
(12:30):
telling yourself that you can'tdo it, or you don't want to do
it, or what have you.
And you know that that wholeidea of the imposter syndrome,
with that internal self-talk, Ithink, is it's it's more us than
society or outside peopletelling us that we can't do
something, where you shouldn'tdo this or you shouldn't do that
.
Nick Batchelder (12:49):
Yeah, I completely agree, and I think
one of the other factors kind oftouching on it's easier to
avoid people than ever is Ithink my generation has just
been tested less right.
Like we're not, we weren't likeas kids, like sent out onto the
street to play and go figurethings out and be all
independent, right.
I think that's part of it too.
Like we just had lessexperiences where we've had to
(13:10):
put ourselves out there and facefearful things for a lot of
people and I think that'sstarting to catch up to you when
you get older.
Like all right, now's the timeyou don't have anyone to look
after you, like you have to godo the scary thing, whether you
want to or not.
I think just takes a long.
Tim Newman (13:23):
It takes longer for some people because maybe they
didn't have that experiencegrowing up yeah, you're so right
and um, you know when, when youlook at the differences in
generations I mean I didn't talkabout your generation, my
generation, because it's it's athat's a huge difference, right,
because we, we were thegeneration that we're told to go
(13:44):
away, to go outside and play,and you better just come back
when it gets.
You know, when the streetlightscome on, and I don't really
care what happens in between,they just don't get arrested or
get hurt.
And you know, and now you know,young people today, they're so
structured they're never notsupervised by somebody, right?
Whether it's a teacher, whetherit's a parent, whether it's a
(14:06):
babysitter or whatever it is,they're supervised and very,
very structured.
There's no just free playtimeeither.
Nick Batchelder (14:19):
I think the most freedom I had growing up
was I rode my bike to school fora couple of years, right.
I think we were like literallya minute from school, right.
Like that experience.
That experience was great and Iloved it yeah.
Tim Newman (14:36):
That's just what the times are, kind of going away,
yeah, and you know for you know,for many reasons, you know it's
, I mean it's.
I'm not saying that it's it'sall bad that things are like
that, but there are consequencesfor everything, right, both
good and bad.
It doesn't matter what wechoose or what we do or what we
don't do.
There's both good and badconsequences to that.
(14:56):
How have your peers reacted toyou in things you're doing and
in your success?
Because you know, again they'vegot to see you and say wow.
Nick Batchelder (15:09):
Yeah, yeah, I would say 90% of it has been
very, very nice feedback.
Yeah, everyone's, everyone'svery kind, especially when they
when they hear about like oh,like you revoke your 21.
Like that's very.
I get a lot of positivefeedback like that and I do
really appreciate it.
And that was one of the biggestfears too, of writing something
(15:29):
like that and putting that outinto the world of like wow, like
one, like everyone's going togo okay, how is this going to be
received?
But I think I thought about ita little longer.
Just because I'm in college,I'm in this kind of bubble where
, like everyone I know is goingto know about it, right, and
like there's just everyone'sattached in so many more ways
than they would be when I'm outin the real world and so, like I
(15:50):
was like all right if I do this, like everyone's going to know
about it.
You know, everything that Iwrite in here is public
knowledge.
Now, that was really scary butthankfully, everyone you know
I'd say 90% of feedback I get isgreat, 90% of feedback I get is
great and 10% is hate stuffthat I could care less about and
that I don't even read Right.
Tim Newman (16:06):
Yeah, you know it's, it's.
It's kind of funny in a way.
You know, I I look at thingslike this that you know, when
you, when you look at feedbacklike that, you know you take the
really good stuff, the outliergood stuff and the bad stuff and
(16:28):
you throw that away becauseit's either these people really
love you and they're going tosay great things about you it
doesn't matter what you do,right, I mean, you could what
doesn't really matter and it'sgreat, I'm not discounting that
at all but in terms of in termsof personal growth, sometimes
that's not very helpful, right?
And then you take the otherside.
That's bad, it doesn't matterwhat you say or do, and the
(16:50):
comments are just not helpful atall.
And then if you focus on, youknow, those things that are in
between, that's where I thinkyou're going to get the best
feedback to be able to go andimprove on whatever it is that
you're doing.
Either wow, keep doing this,because this seems to be working
, or maybe work on this overhere, make some of these tweaks,
and that's that's how we'regoing to get better.
Nick Batchelder (17:12):
Yeah, no, I love that you said that and
that's actually something I usefor like my physical appearance,
sometimes with confidence, isthat's one of like the biggest
things, especially with youngpeople, and that I deal with all
the time.
Like okay, like how do I look?
Like I want to like look in themorning.
Or sometimes I'm like, ah, Idon't feel like I look great and
I I genuinely tell myself I'llbe like on days where I feel
like I look great, I'm like, hey, like you don't look quite as
(17:38):
good as you think, and on dayswhen I look bad, I'm like, hey,
you don't look quite as bad.
Tim Newman (17:43):
There to me is something that I don't know,
that I'll ever understand.
It's probably just because thisis just my face and this is how
I look.
I mean, there's not a lot youcould do with this face right.
But you know, what yourgeneration does is put so much
effort, emphasis on how you lookand what other people think
that you, how other people viewyou and how you look and what
(18:03):
other people think that you look, how, how other people view you
and how you look and what youdo, when, especially from the
digital perspective, 99 of thesepeople don't know you.
Yeah, and we put so much of ourof who we are into, what people
who don't even know whoseopinion yeah, it's funny you
(18:24):
mentioned that I was having.
Nick Batchelder (18:26):
I was talking about this on one of my recent
podcast episodes.
We were talking about likeInstagram and I was.
I was really reflecting on likehow my main Instagram page is
like so fake, cause I wouldcause, now that I have I have
two Instagram pages, right, Ihave my professional one and
then I have like my my me one,and I was reflecting on it.
I was like, wow, like thecontent that I post on my
(18:48):
professional one and then I havelike my my me one and I was
reflecting on it.
I was like, wow, like thecontent that I post on my
professional one, I would neverpost on my other one, cause it's
like too vulnerable, it's tooreal, it's too me, right, like
the other one is really justlike.
Hey, here are my highlights,here's what I want you to think
about me, and when I, when Istarted both the second account,
I really saw like how fake theother one was.
I'm like, wow, this reallyisn't me at all.
Tim Newman (19:04):
Well, let's, let's actually get into that, because
that was, that was you know,recent episode and, and I think
that was with Chrissy.
Nick Batchelder (19:12):
Yeah, chrissy Desmond yeah.
Tim Newman (19:13):
Okay, and you know there was a lot of really good
points in there that you talkedabout.
You know that being one of them, and you know, I don't know,
and you know, I don't know, Ithink she I thought she brought
up some really good points tosay that that really wasn't fake
for you.
It's just different because,because there's a, there's a
(19:34):
professional Nick, right, andthen there's the regular Nick,
the the the, the, the personalNick and there's.
You know, there are somesimilarities there and obviously
, obviously you're not going topost things, some things on a
professional account that youwould be posting on a personal
account.
(19:54):
Now I've got different thoughtson that, but that's not what
this conversation is about.
But you know, you're building aprofessional brand and it's
still you, it still has theundertones of you, right, and
you're not posting anything thatyou don't truly think or feel.
It's just done in a different,more professional way.
Nick Batchelder (20:23):
Yeah, no, I'm actually glad you called me out
there, cause I actually thinkyou're right and I forgot.
Chris, you brought up thatpoint and you're you're, you're,
definitely right.
It is actually.
It is a different side of me.
It's the more fun, relaxed sideof me and it's definitely less
vulnerable.
But that doesn't mean it's notnecessarily me, right.
Tim Newman (20:55):
And Good point.
But so if we, as just on aregular, you know general topics
, if we could understand that,how much better would we be, you
know, especially from thatyounger generation.
So, like you know, for me I donow have a actually the only,
the only separate professionalaccount that I have is on
Instagram.
That's the only one.
Everything else is all it'sjust me.
It's either personal orprofessional, depending on what
I'm posting, and the only reasonwhy I had that one on Instagram
(21:23):
is because I did not want tomix, you know, some of my other
ventures, like my golf stuff.
I did not want that involved inthe speaking with confidence
stuff, because I didn't want toconfuse people in that manner.
But essentially, the tone isstill the same.
The content may be a little bitdifferent, but the tone and who
(21:46):
I come across as, I think, isstill the same, because I think
it doesn't matter.
Even though we are living insuch a digital world, we still
want to be seen as human, whichbuilds even more trust.
Nick Batchelder (22:05):
Yeah, you're right, and as I start to think
about it more, I think thebiggest reason I have the
different accounts is just thepeople I want seeing it.
Actually, I think it's more so.
Just I have the personalaccount because I have a select
few people I'm like these arethe people that I want to post
this to Like this is who this ismeant for, right, and I think
that's actually maybe even thebiggest factor there.
Tim Newman (22:25):
Yeah for Right, and I think that's actually maybe
even the biggest factor there.
Yeah, yeah, you know a coupleof other things I wanted to
bring up in that episode.
You know you you talked aboutyou were in class and you had a,
a CEO of a bank who came in whogave a presentation, and he was
really, really nervous and itwas obvious that he was nervous.
And then you wanted to ask aquestion, but you were nervous
about asking the question andand I thought that was really
(22:47):
really good and and and.
Things to think about here is itdoesn't matter where you are in
life, speaking in public is isnot easy and just putting
yourself out there and yeah, andyeah.
Nick Batchelder (23:04):
I think that's.
That's one of the biggestthings.
Misconceptions that I see islike people are like all right,
like one day I'm going to wakeup and I'm going to be confident
.
It's like that's not how thatworks, it's not how it works.
It's not how it works.
Some days you're a two, somedays you're a six, some days
you're a nine.
And the reality is like thepeople are really good at
confidence, are good at justgetting themselves from like a
two to a six on a bad day, orsix to a nine on a bad you know
(23:25):
okay day, and then, like stayingat a nine on a great day, right
, like you just have to havetools in the toolbox to help you
kind of get yourself up alittle bit higher than you kind
of naturally are.
Because every day I'm different,right.
Like right now I'm feelingpretty good, I'm I would say I'm
like an eight, and you know,last weekend I was so tired and
I rolled to bed I wasn't feelinggood, I was probably like a
three.
I'm like I'm staying insidetoday, right, and you just have
(23:46):
to like kind of battle that andknow like it's just a journey
and it's never going to be a 10out of 10.
And I think it's more fun thatway, because I think life would
be boring if we just found wehad these skills and then we got
to keep them at a perfect levelforever.
Like it's more fun to developthem.
Tim Newman (23:59):
Yeah, yeah, and it's , it's.
So.
This past weekend I had to, Ihad to do a recording and I
don't.
I kept telling my wife I saidI've got to get this done this
weekend, I have to do it thisweekend, I have to do it this
weekend.
And Saturday afternoon she saidyou're not doing today because
I'm looking at you and there'sno way that you're going to be
(24:21):
able to do it and come acrossthe way that I know you want to
come across.
And I said, seriously, you'rereally going to say that to me.
But she was right and I mean, Icould have gone through the
motions and I could have donethe fake confidence, I could
have done the fake smile andeverything else.
But you know, especially whenyou're doing it on camera, right
and one, it's going to comeacross because it's there for
(24:41):
forever and you post it's therefor forever, right.
And it's very different if nowI'm going to a networking event
and I've got to go and do thosethings, I've got to do whatever
I need to do to to get out ofthat funk, to get out of that,
that, that mindset because again, let's talk about mindset here
in a second.
But but to get out of thatmindset and get into the
(25:03):
professional mindset of buildingand making connections Right.
Nick Batchelder (25:08):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a.
It's an interesting balance oftaking care of yourself when
you're really not feeling it andalso knowing like hey, this is
a moment I need to push throughand really develop yourself.
And the more you do it, thebetter you get at finding the
distinction of like okay, thisis self-care moment or is this a
push through, like strap onyour boots moment.
Tim Newman (25:27):
Yeah, a ton in how important building network and
building personal relationshipsand connections are and how, how
(25:49):
it does take a certain mindsetto be able to do that.
You can't, you can't go.
Let's just say, for example,you can't go to a networking
event.
You know, hang out up againstthe wall, you know, have your
drink and eat some crackers orcheese or whatever it is, and
expect that people are going tocome up to you and start
building connections.
You have to be the one to goout and initiate those things.
Nick Batchelder (26:13):
Yeah, and it applies everywhere.
Right, if you're at the bar, agirl's not going to walk up to
you.
If you're just sitting in thebar in the corner, right.
Same with networking.
Same with making friends at aclub right, if you're joining a
club for the first time, youhave to go talk to these members
.
But it's scary and it's new andit's intimidating for a lot of
people and you really do have tostart taking baby steps to like
(26:36):
kind of get used to that andget you know, feel like that's
something you're good at and,like we were just saying with
public speaking confidence, it'snot.
It's never going to be super,it's never going to be like the
easiest thing ever.
I mean, maybe if you do it forthe whole, your whole life, I
still get nervous all the timeabout it and I do this all the
time yeah, well, I, I hate it,dude, I'm, I'm, I'm an introvert
(26:56):
.
Tim Newman (26:56):
I mean I would rather poke myself in the
eyeballs with a toothpick thango to a networking event.
Nick Batchelder (27:02):
And that's just .
Tim Newman (27:03):
God's honest truth, I mean.
I just I hate doing it.
I don't like doing itno-transcript.
Nick Batchelder (27:37):
Yeah, one of the things I've been thinking
about is like, okay, like peoplethat go to networking events
and like kill it, like why arethey killing it?
It's like, well, a lot of thosepeople just want to be there
and they love it, right, andit's kind of fun for them, right
.
Like this, the Uber extroverts,right, and so that's been
something I've been don't enjoythis, like you got to find ways
that you next day, I try andfind ways to make it fun.
I also just try and find waysto keep it light and, like I
(28:23):
mentioned earlier, I like tothink of it as a chance to work
on my improv and just kind ofmess around a little.
But I would say the biggestthing that helps me in those
situations, that helps me inpodcasts like this, this is the
first big thing I'm doing withmy day, right?
I think a lot of people would bereally nervous about this, like
I'm actually not wasn't nervousabout this beforehand.
(28:43):
I think the biggest reason isjust like being present.
Yes, you're being really goodat being present, okay, because
when I'm here in this moment,I'm not thinking about what
happens if I say the wrong thing, right.
I'm not thinking about mistakesI've made in the past.
I'm very present with you rightnow and it helps make this less
scary and more enjoyable.
Tim Newman (29:01):
And and I, you know, I I think that you really kind
of nailed, nailed it on a for anumber of different things,
right?
Because if you talk about beingpresent and listening and being
engaged right, number one ifyou're not present, it's obvious
.
I mean, it is so obvious,especially if you're going to a
networking event and you'retrying to make a connection, if
you're not present and engagedit doesn't matter, right?
(29:25):
But you can't build trueconnection, you can't build true
relationships, if you're notwilling to be present, if you're
not willing to be engaged inthe other person's and being
interested in them.
And it comes across, it showson your face.
You know the one thing that andthis bothers me across the board
(29:49):
, I don't care who it is whenyou're having a conversation
with somebody and you hear thephone go off, and the first
thing they do is they, they stopand they look at the phone.
You know to me, okay, why am Ibothering?
You know and again, I'm notsaying that I'm perfect in this,
I'm in no way shape or form,right, but when you're having a
(30:13):
conversation with somebody, whenyou're other people, unless
somebody's head's falling off,that phone should be the last
thing on your mind.
You should be so involved inthat, and if you're not involved
in it, then step back from that, step back and step away so
that you're not coming across asunengaged, uninterested.
(30:36):
You're not coming across asunengaged, uninterested.
Nick Batchelder (30:43):
I mean, there's so much to the whole idea of
the personal interactions thattechnology takes away from.
Yeah, for anyone listeningwho's like man, I don't feel
like I'm that charismatic.
I don't feel like I'm that cool.
I don't feel like people likeme.
When I'm at these events, Ifeel like I'm always nervous.
I like to tell people it's theeasiest it's ever been to be the
most charismatic person in theroom.
Like people are distracted,people are not engaged, people
(31:06):
are not good at reading bodylanguage, people are not good at
being authentic, right, like,it's actually so easy nowadays
to like come off as like wow,this dude is confident and
charismatic and it's.
It's as simple as you'reengaged, your body language is
facing somebody, you're leaningin when they're saying something
interesting, right, you're withthat person and people really
pick up on that, because it'svery it's rare in a lot of
settings today.
Tim Newman (31:28):
It really, truly is.
There are so many things thatyou can do, like you just said,
(31:48):
to show engagement to.
For people like me again, who'san introvert, who doesn't like
doing these things that you knowyou can do and still be
successful, asking questions,showing interest, you know.
And one thing you talked aboutawareness, but awareness about
who you are as an individual,right, because you can't really
build connection true, realconnections with other people if
you don't know who you are asan individual.
Nick Batchelder (32:07):
Yeah, and the more you know who you are, the
easier it is, because the moreyou're okay with going, hey, I'm
not for you or we're not foreach other, right, like we're
not a match, like that wassomething that was a game
changer for me, especially withthe social media content where I
go, okay, like if, if I go tomeet this person and we don't
you know we're not matching, orlike it's just not working, it's
kind of awkward, my firstreaction isn't oh, no-transcript
(32:44):
, that's natural and that givesyou a lot of inner confidence.
You're like, hey, like, this iswho I am and I know it, and I'm
looking for people who are sucha good point that you know
somebody and again, don't takethis the wrong way Somebody your
age has already figured thatout, right?
Tim Newman (33:03):
Because there are so many people that are so much
older than you that have neverfigured that out.
And that only comes from, fromdoing the work on yourself,
knowing who you are, knowing whoyou are as an individual, what
your values are, what your corevalues are, what you like, what
you don't like, what you want,what you don't want, what you're
looking for, the directions youwant to go and understand some
(33:25):
of those things in life aregoing to change.
But if you don't feel that anddon't know those things, as
those other things are changingagain, you're never really going
to true connection yeah, one ofmy favorite favorite things I
get you know a little.
Nick Batchelder (33:43):
One of my favorite things is like
sometimes I'll be in the livingroom and I'll just be sitting on
the couch and I'll just be likeI'll have no devices on me,
I'll just be thinking aboutstuff.
Right, my roommates to come in,I'd be like are you okay?
Like are you depressed?
Like what's going on?
I'm like, I'm like no, I'm justthinking.
And I was like I think it's sofunny, like I don't, I don't.
I know very few other likepeople this age that just like
sit around and think, and Ithink that's a big part of it
too.
Like the more time you spendwith yourself, the more, the
(34:06):
more confident you get, I thinkis a big and just thinking about
things that you find curioustoo, and just you know, working
your mind and getting it sharperand all that stuff, just all
the, all those little thingsaccumulate, right, it's never
(34:26):
one big thing, right, it'salways a little bit of x, a
little bit of y, a little bit ofz, and a lot of people nowadays
are like all right, give me thebig fix.
Like what's, give me the thing?
What's the one thing I need?
Easy fix.
They want something.
What's the one thing I need?
Yeah, and it's.
That's just not how it goes.
And and, like you mentioned,like a lot of people in their
40s and 50s and maybe 60s, likedon't even know this yet.
Yeah, and that's one of them.
(34:48):
That's why my mission statementis like, hey, like I want to
teach people now, because thinkabout the kind of change you can
make once you have that right.
Like so many doors open up andI'm going to have so many more
options in life because I haveit at 21.
And if I had learned it at 41,and my goal is to get that into
as many people as possible andthat, hopefully, being a peer to
listen to me a little more thanyou know, 50 year old, telling
(35:08):
them and and and, and I'm withyou.
Tim Newman (35:12):
I hope they do too.
And that's that's also why it'sso important, at least from my
perspective, that you're doingthis, because you know I could
tell them a thousand times,right.
And then you come in, you saythe exact same words in the
exact same language.
Exact same words, exact samephrase, exact same tone.
(35:32):
And you touch them where if Ido it, it's over their head, for
whatever reason.
And you know whatever it takesto get through, to get people to
, and I and I say that like it'sa bad thing to get through to
them, you know, but that's notwhat.
That's not exactly what I mean.
It's like.
It's like you're in trouble.
I'm trying to get through toyou, but that's not exactly what
(35:53):
I'm talking about.
But it's whatever's going to.
Going to resonate with somebodyis really all that matters to
me.
I don't care who says it, Idon't care who, who, who does it
, but as long as you get it fromsomewhere and you hear it from
somebody that these are thethings I need to be doing or I
should be doing, that's all Icare about.
Nick Batchelder (36:14):
Yeah, I mean that's part of the reason you
have guests on a podcast, right,it's like let's get all these
different perspectives and causeI?
I mean you know so much of thisalready, um, but it's, it's
easier for your audience whenthey hear it from different
people and differentperspectives and they hear
similar ideas across people whodon't know each other.
Right, and you're like, okay,that has some more validity then
.
And yeah, I think part of thereason too people listening,
(36:35):
people my age, listen to me alittle more is like after this
call, I got econ homework andthen I'm going to office hours,
right, right, and then I likeit's, I'm still a normal college
student.
I just have a bit of this aswell.
Tim Newman (36:48):
You know, and it's it's.
It's funny you say that thatthat's what you're doing.
I mean, I don't know how youfind time to do all these things
.
And you know, one of the thingsthat you said to me when we did
our pre-interview talk is thatyou read a lot of books, which
to me is great.
I mean, I think, of the thingsthat really move us forward are,
(37:13):
to me, some of the mostimportant are reading books and
asking questions.
Reading books and askingquestions I think two are two of
the two of the biggest thingsthat move us forward and to find
somebody again and I say Idon't want this to sound bad
because I'm not putting yourgeneration, but one problem that
I have with your generation isyou don't like to read, you
don't or you don't read.
Nick Batchelder (37:35):
Yeah, don't read at all.
No, I try and give my, I tryand give my friends books all
the time they won't read it.
Tim Newman (37:41):
So how can we change that?
Because I think that's a,that's a, that's a big, that's a
big hurdle.
Nick Batchelder (37:49):
The big hurdle and you can't just hand someone
a book and tell them the read.
I've tried that.
It doesn't work.
My philosophy Well, I have twothings that I'm trying right now
to do that the biggest one isI'm trying to be a role model.
So when people go, hey, likehow can I be like you?
It's like well, you got to read.
That's one of the core things Ido.
Right, like that's you know, ifyou're, if your role model is,
(38:12):
you know, if your role modeltells you that this is what they
do, like you're, you're morelikely to do it.
So that's, that's part of it.
It's just being a good example.
And then a lot of like thecontent that I create.
Like the book that I wrote wasabout, it was trying to make it
as easy as possible for peopleto read, like I'll show you, for
example, this is, you know,rick Rubin.
Tim Newman (38:30):
Yeah, I don't know the name.
Nick Batchelder (38:32):
Yeah, I love Rick Rubin.
Anyway, this is his book.
Right, love this book and likeI tell people to read it, people
won't read it.
Right, like my, that's mine.
Right, Like that's part of ittoo is like I'm like all right,
first off, let me try and be arole model.
And also like how can I makethis the easiest possible for
you?
Like this, my book's like 80pages.
It's so many examples, it'ssuper.
(38:52):
Okay, I'm going to make this aseasy as possible for you.
And then also like hey, if youwant to do what I'm doing, you
got to read, but it's a trickyone and I'm still working on it.
Tim Newman (39:01):
Yeah, and it's.
I like the fact that you wrotea book for people that don't
like to read.
Nick Batchelder (39:11):
Yeah.
Tim Newman (39:11):
Yeah.
I like to Like you said, youmake it easy for for them, much
easier for them, to read to.
You know, and I think part ofit is and I'm glad you made you
made that visual, the.
It's our attention spans, right, um, and a lot of that has to
do with with technology and soforth, not to get too much too
(39:32):
far down down the field thanthat, but it's our attention
span, is is part of it, and ifyou have something like you said
, that's an easy read, that'sshorter and to the point, that
does that is something that isis theoretically helpful.
Nick Batchelder (39:48):
Yeah, and the well.
The first step is always thehardest, right, like you see so
many people.
They're like I won't watch, I'mnot going to watch a movie,
that's too long.
And then they end up watchingeight episodes of a TV show.
Right, it's like, well, why dothey do that?
It's like well, the 30 minutesseems more appealing to them
than the two hours.
So like, okay, I'll do the 30minutes.
Tim Newman (40:04):
Right.
Nick Batchelder (40:04):
And then they end up watching more anyway.
And so, like just having avisual book, that's like this
thin versus this thick, you'relike, okay, I can get through
that.
It like committing to things isa big thing right now.
It's like people do not want tocommit to things and making
things as as minimal, thecommitment as possible as big
and I was joking with my dad, Iwas like how good of a
(40:25):
businessman am I that I wrote abook for people who don't like
to read?
Right, but it's a, it's a funchallenge and it's that's the
audience it's meant for andwe'll we'll help the most.
Tim Newman (40:34):
But the book has been well received.
Yeah, yes, it has.
So, and let's go back to someof the comments.
You know the reviews on Amazon.
They're all really good, exceptfor one, and I think the one is
a spoof.
I read it.
I think the one is just some,you know some troll trying to be
(40:58):
funny.
Nick Batchelder (40:59):
You know it's funny, as I know exactly who
wrote that.
Do you really?
It's my ex-girlfriend's littlebrother's friend, I see, don't,
okay, yeah, but yeah, literallyI saw that.
I was like I was reading that.
It was like his financial tipsare terrible.
I was like I didn't leave anyfinancial tips.
I was like what?
And I was like I was textingsome people.
(41:21):
I was like, oh okay, there wego.
I was like so it's, it's justpart of it.
But I was, I was, I actuallyliked it better.
I was like I kind of like 4.8stars better than five.
I was like it makes it seemmore real.
You know, well, you know, I,I'm really.
Tim Newman (41:40):
I'm really impressed in what you're doing and I know
you got to get kind of homeworkand I'm laughing, but I'm not
laughing, it's, it's just.
You know, let's just put thisway.
Let's say you're 23.
Okay, when you've done this,okay, you may have a meeting to
go to.
It's, it's just a different,it's just a different time table
(42:01):
, different schedule.
Nick Batchelder (42:02):
Yesterday I was doing podcast work, editing,
posting good one right and thenI had an intramural softball
game.
That's awesome, that's my life.
It's like I'm doing this andthen I'm doing softball and I'm
doing econ homework and then I'min a fraternity right and I
think that econ homework andthen I'm in a fraternity right
and like it's, it's.
I think I think that reallyhelps with my message because
(42:22):
I'm like, hey, like, if I'm 21years old and I'm doing all this
normal stuff that you've alldone before, right, and I'm
doing this, you can do it too.
I, without a doubt, if the 21year old frat guy can do it, you
can do it.
Tim Newman (42:37):
Like, trust me, and and then again.
To me it comes back to mindset.
You know what?
What?
What's going on up here.
You know what is it that youhave to?
What's that switch to?
To make a commitment to getover the hump, whatever it is,
because we all have our thingright.
(42:58):
It doesn't matter however manybillion people in the world.
Every single one of us has ourown thing that is holding us
back, and I don't care who youare, I don't care if you're Tony
Robbins, simon Sinek, grantCardo, I don't care, we all have
our thing.
That's going on up here andwhatever it is that we have to
do to get over that, let's let'sfigure it out sooner rather
(43:21):
than later and just just do it.
Nick Batchelder (43:23):
Do the thing and everyone knows what that
thing is.
Right, right, jordan petersonhas a good clip where he's like
if you sit down and ask yourselfwhat's like, what are the five
thing?
one to five things I need towork on, it's like you know it,
you just don't want to look atit right yeah, you're just
avoiding it because that's it'sgoing to be hard to face those
things exactly, and, and I wouldsay, my one message is to
(43:46):
people that are going to starton that path is you don't have
to be perfect every day.
Yes, right, the idea is likeit's split into thirds.
A third of the time you'regoing to have a bad day.
It's just's just not gonna work.
You're gonna revert to your oldhabits.
You're not gonna make anyprogress.
A third of the time it should begoing pretty good, like you
made some good progress, youfelt, like you did a decent job.
Maybe you didn't kill it, butit was good.
And a third of the time itshould be great.
(44:08):
Like man I killed today, right,like that's natural progression
of like it's not gonna be good,good, good, good, it's to be
good, great, great, bad, good,bad, great, great, good, right,
like that's just what happens.
I think a lot of people arelike, oh, it has to be great,
and then, if it's not great, whyeven bother?
That's just not how that works.
It's not how it works.
Don't, don't be too hard onyourself if you have a bad day
(44:29):
right guys.
Tim Newman (44:31):
I tell people progress over perfection because
consistency is key.
The more you do something, theeasier.
I'm not saying the better youget.
The more you do something, theeasier it gets.
You have to actually do, youknow, be willing to grow to, to
be better, right.
The more you do things, theeasier it gets.
So, um, just start doing thething.
(44:53):
Just start whatever it is, getover it and and you know and
you're gonna be fine yeah, yeah.
Nick Batchelder (45:01):
But problems don't get easier.
We just get better at dealingwith them oh, just just wait.
Tim Newman (45:06):
They know they trust me, they don't I'm sure that's
why I'm still 12 that's why it'seasier.
Nick Batchelder (45:12):
That way, right , it's more fun.
That way it's much easier.
Tim Newman (45:14):
It's much easier.
You know I tell.
I tell people all the time youknow I'm doing great, unless you
tell me otherwise.
If you tell me I got otherthings, I gotta worry about then
.
Then I'll start worrying aboutother than that.
I'm doing great.
I love that, so it's awesome.
But, nick, thank you so muchfor spending some time with us
today.
I really do appreciate theinsight.
You know know you're doinggreat things.
(45:35):
Where can people find you?
Where can they buy your book?
All the good stuff.
Nick Batchelder (45:41):
Yeah, so you can buy the book on Amazon.
Just look up crusher twentiesand you can find my podcast
building the blueprint onYouTube or Spotify.
And if you get confused aboutany of that, just look up Nick
Batchelder on the internet andmy website will come up and you
can find all the good stuff andthe Nick Batchel there on all
socials.
Tim Newman (45:58):
And it does come up.
You've got a great website.
Your podcasts go great.
I love the topics.
Before I sign off again,because I've always got one more
thing.
Nick Batchelder (46:11):
I could talk forever.
Tim Newman (46:12):
But as an introvert keep that in mind I love the
topics and I love what you'redoing, especially for somebody
like me.
You know we've talked.
I think it's incumbent upon us,as the older generations, to
figure out what's going on withthe younger generation so that
we can have strongerrelationships and stronger
(46:36):
connections and strongercommunications.
And you know there's a coupleof really good podcasts out
there.
That mix kind of what I'm doing.
But you know what you're doingis great because you're talking
to your peers and we're hearingfrom their mouth what's going on
(46:56):
in their life, what they think,how they're reacting, what
their mindset is right.
It's so important and I thinkif we're going to move forward
as a society, we have to bringour generations together more to
understand each other so thatwe can actually work together
better.
I appreciate that and Icompletely agree to understand
each other so that we can canactually work together better.
Nick Batchelder (47:17):
I, I appreciate that and I, I completely agree.
And, yeah, my whole goal isrelatable curiosity with the
podcast.
It's like, hey, you know,self-help is great, but I want
to bring but everyone who doesit is, you know, no offense like
30 to 50 or 60.
Right, and it's like all right,let's bring a more pure
perspective.
And I want, I want people whomaybe go, oh, like that's not my
(47:37):
thing, like personal growth'snot my thing, to be like all
right, hey, come on, it's gonnabe fun, it's gonna be a little
more, you know, silly, and thenwe're gonna also have this bit
of personal growth.
So you get a bit of both andand introduce more people.
So it kind of be a steppingstone right into this world.
So people kind of get into itand then go, oh, like, I really
want to work on my confidence.
Oh, I know tim has a greatconfidence podcast, let me check
that out, right but you know I,I get, I appreciate it.
Tim Newman (47:59):
So do you have?
Is that some of theconversation you have with
getting your guests on?
Nick Batchelder (48:04):
um, that, what do you mean?
Like that they're notinterested, yeah, and like
self-help stuff, uh, no, no, Imean not particularly.
I don't like ask them that, butI, I mean I really don't know
anyone else who's as interestedin this stuff.
I know I could count on my, onmy hands how many people I know
that are interested in thispersonal development stuff in
the same way that I am right,and so, uh, I've had part of it.
(48:26):
I had a couple of those peopleon, but most of it is just, you
know, they're like it's just,it's just a foreign world to
them.
They're like that's a thing for30 and 40 and 50 year olds to
do, that's not a thing for 20year olds to do.
Tim Newman (48:36):
I've got time, it doesn't matter, it's like oh,
let's do it now so you canutilize the time.
But that's what makes our point.
Nick Batchelder (48:43):
Yeah.
Tim Newman (48:44):
Now is the time.
Nick Batchelder (48:45):
Now's the time.
You can utilize the time andhave way more options and way
more fun with the time if youprepare yourself now.
But that's not the easy thingto do.
Tim Newman (48:54):
Exactly Well again, nick.
Again, thanks so much for yourtime.
I do appreciate it.
You take care and we'll talk toyou soon.
Nick Batchelder (49:02):
Absolutely.
Tim Newman (49:06):
Thanks for having me , tim.
Be sure to visitspeakingwithconfidencepodcastcom
to get your free e-book TopTool and Challenges for Public
Speakers and how to Overcome it.
You can also register for theForum for Public Speaking.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change the world.
(49:29):
We'll talk to you next time,take care.
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, a
podcast that helps you build thesoft skills that lead to real
results communication,storytelling, public speaking
and showing up with confidencein every conversation that
counts.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide you on a
journey to becoming a powerfulcommunicator.
Today's guest is NickBatchelder.
(00:32):
Nick is on a mission tocultivate a world where less
people say I wish I would havedone blank in my 20s.
He's an author, podcaster andspeaker targeting 20-35 year
olds looking for a peerperspective in the self-help
genre.
If you want to learn more aboutwhat your peers are going
through and how they aretackling issues like speaking
(00:54):
with confidence, this is theperfect episode for you.
Nick, welcome to the show.
You are officially the youngestguest we've had and you can
come.
You come with intimateknowledge of what people like me
are talking about in for peoplein your generation.
Nick Batchelder (01:11):
Tim, thank you for having me.
I'm excited.
That's an honor 21.
Yeah, recently turned 21.
Tim Newman (01:17):
Congratulations.
You know, I know that's a bigmilestone.
You know I say you're theyoungest and it's it's kind of
funny because I view myself asbeing 12.
Nick Batchelder (01:30):
Okay, I like it .
Tim Newman (01:32):
You know, you know, right before we started, I'd say
about an hour ago, you know, mywife is a realtor and she's
getting ready to film somecontent and she was looking for
a catchy phrase about somethingand I immediately started
laughing.
And she asked what for a catchyphrase about something?
And I immediately startedlaughing and she asked what I
was laughing at.
I told her and she said how oldare you?
Cause it was.
You know.
You know potty.
Yeah, you know it's, it's, it'swhat we do, but but anyway,
(01:54):
Playful spirit.
Exactly, exactly, but but againI mean you're, you're in the
weeds with this thing on what Italk about, especially from
confidence in communication.
So I also think that youyourself and I mentioned this to
(02:15):
you when we spoke I thinkyou're like in the 1% of your
generation in what you're doing.
You're 21 years old.
You already have a book.
You've got a podcast that'sdoing really well.
You're 21 years old.
You already have a book.
You've got a podcast that'sdoing really well.
You're doing public speaking,you're doing some coaching, and
that's why I say you're in likethe 1%.
Now I think your generation isand I told you this is probably
(02:39):
the smartest and mostentrepreneurial.
But where I think yourgeneration falls down is in that
communication piece.
What do you see amongst yourpeers from that perspective?
Nick Batchelder (02:52):
I agree, I think we have a lot of energy
and a lot of passion and I think, ultimately, where we fall
short is because of this digitalage.
We're starting to lose thatcommunication piece, and I would
say more so, the in-personcommunication piece.
One of the biggest things thatI see with my peers is it's
never been easier to avoidin-person interaction.
(03:12):
If you wanted to right Like, ifyou really want to like, you
can stay inside all day, likeyou don't need to take class, I
can take online classes.
I can door dash food to my door, right, I don't have to.
I can meet friends on Xbox LikeI don't need to go out to the
cafeteria or the bars.
And so I think what's happenedis a lot of people are just
reliant on their home life andthey have all this energy and
(03:33):
they get all this content andthey see all this stuff come up
on their feed, but they don'tactually get the wraps in for
like, okay, like, how do Icommunicate, how do I present
myself, how do I feel moreconfident?
And I think it just starts tooverwhelm a lot of people.
Tim Newman (03:44):
Yeah, so when you talk about it, it overwhelming
people.
What do you mean by that?
Because you know, I think thatyou know we've this isn't
something that I, at least frommy perspective.
I don't know that that justhappened, but where do you think
this overwhelm comes from andwhat does it feel like?
Nick Batchelder (04:06):
I think we have way too many options right.
There's a really cool studythat shows if you go to buy jam
right, there's 36 options mostpeople don't buy any jam.
If there's three options, likea third of the people bought jam
, and I think that's what yousee.
With social media and just withthe digital ages, we can kind
of do anything.
Right, I could do literallyanything and it's so cool and I
can see any content I want to do.
I can go out and use my time inso many ways I think it's just
(04:29):
overwhelming.
It's like wow, like there's toomuch to pick from and people
kind of shut down a little bitand go you know what.
I'm just going to do, what I'mcomfortable with.
I'm going to do what I know,and a lot of that just depends
then on you know how they grewup.
If they grew up playing sportsand you know playing Xbox, like
they're just going to continueto do sports and Xbox.
If they grew up you know goingout and traveling, they're
(04:49):
probably going to do moretraveling.
So I think a lot of it now isreliant more so on how you grew
up, if cause because there's toomany options for some people.
Tim Newman (04:57):
Yeah, and we'll get back to the jam thing here a
little bit.
I you referenced that in one ofyour recent, one of your recent
podcasts.
Yeah, and I definitely 100agree with you.
There's so many options, somany choices and you know, I, we
have that overwhelm and so we,we choose nothing.
(05:18):
And you know, I don't know.
That's indicative of just yourgeneration.
I think that you know that thatruns a gamut of everybody, but
you know, specifically with,with your generation, you're,
you're, you're right, you dohave so many different,
different things that you can do, different ways that you can
actually communicate with people, and the hardest one is that
interpersonal.
(05:38):
Is that actually talking tosomebody that's actually sitting
down, having a coffee withsomebody that you don't know?
You know just trying to getinformation, you know.
So what do you see would be?
How can we?
Nick Batchelder (05:59):
help people in your generation to kind of get
over that hump a little bit.
You know, it's really funnythat you mentioned being 12
years old, because one of thebig things that I've been
talking about in coachingrecently is playfulness and
improv.
I think one of the best ways toactually develop confidence and
not even be confident, but justto start down this journey is
to have more of a mentality ofplayfulness and more mentality
(06:20):
of improv.
Because what I found is themore that I can improv in the
moment, the more flexibility Ihave, the more confidence I have
.
So you know, I'll give you anexample.
When I'm public speaking right,so many people have scripts and
I used to do this all the timewhere I'd have a script and I'd
go up and I have like word forword, I know what I'm going to
say.
But that's really scary becauseif I get off my script at all,
(06:41):
like I'm screwed, I'm dead inthe water because I don't know
what's coming next.
And that's like one of thefirst public speaking tips I get
people is like stop memorizing.
You know, practice publicspeaking and I have an exercise
where I hand people a randomitem, like this glass case, and
I have them tell me a storyabout it, right, and they just
have to make up a story for 60seconds.
Tim Newman (07:14):
And you know, I've gotten pretty good at that and
what I've noticed is, you know,the better I get at improv and
being able to think on my feet,the more confident I am that I
can go into any situation andlike be okay, right, like okay,
I'm going to figure out what tosay, I'm gonna figure out what
to do.
Was there a moment in your lifethat kind of pushed you into
this realm of, let's just say,personal development?
Because again, at least from myperspective, I don't think you
(07:34):
just woke up a year ago and saidI'm going to write a book and
I'm going to start being good atcommunicating, being a public
speaker and doing a podcast.
Was there something that kindof drove you down this road?
Nick Batchelder (07:47):
It was a culmination of a lot of little
things.
I think when I went to college,that was a big part of it,
because I was on my own for thefirst time and it kind of felt
like you know, kind of turning anew leaf, new chapter of my
life, and I was like okay, likeI want to start this chapter
different, and I think it was acombination of one.
I want to start this chapterdifferent, and I think it was a
combination of one.
I was like all right, I have afresh start.
Two, there's a lot of holesthat I want to fill.
(08:10):
I think I had really goodawareness.
I think I've always had goodawareness and I think when I got
to college, I was very aware ofwhat I was lacking.
I did not have goodcommunication skills, I wasn't
very confident, I wasn't good atreading, I wasn't really trying
to develop myself, and I thinkI had just had enough of that
and I was like all right, I'mkind of over it and I say third,
(08:32):
I just had a lot of good rolemodels.
I have a lot of good rolemodels in my family and my, my
parents, friends that I've gotto grow up around and see them
develop.
And I'd say that combination ofthose three kind of came
together right when I got tocollege and was a perfect little
storm.
Tim Newman (08:48):
So of your peers, how many of them do you think
have that?
And I'm glad you brought up thewhole idea of awareness,
because awareness takes on anumber of different shapes and
sizes and scenarios.
How many people in your friendgroup, in your age group, in
(09:10):
your peer group do you think,notice or develop that awareness
or have developed thatawareness.
Nick Batchelder (09:19):
Yeah, I think it's different because I'd say
there's two, like I would say,more than you think have the
awareness, just not that manyactually act on it.
Okay, I would say, you know, Iwould say probably anywhere from
half to two thirds would be myguess that people who have that
awareness of you know they needto develop or what they're
missing or what they could getbetter at.
(09:40):
And I say the biggestdifference is probably only like
20% to 30% are acting on itright or actively going.
Okay, like I want to change, orI see this and I feel motivated
enough to change, and that canbe different.
Sometimes something bad enoughhappens and it motivates you to
change.
Sometimes you just have a lotof really good people around you
(10:00):
that are crushing it and you'regoing well, if they're doing it
, I want to do it Right and itdepends on the individual
circumstances, but I would saymore than you think are aware of
it and just not that many areactively acting on it.
Tim Newman (10:12):
So what are some of the reasons that they're not
acting on?
It?
Does it run the gamut of?
They don't know what to do,they don't know the steps, they
don't know who to go to.
What are some of the the someof the reasoning behind that?
Nick Batchelder (10:26):
I think it's just hard and I think we're just
innately lazy creatures.
Like, just by our being, likewe don't want to do things right
, we're going to take the pathof least resistance.
One of the endeavors I went onfor a while was career
development help for collegestudents.
Okay, I was having a reallyhard time actually getting
people to engage with me outsideof the presentations.
(10:46):
I'd kind of show up, I'd givethe presentation, I'd be like,
hey, if you want more help, likereach out to me, I'm here.
And no one would reach out andI was like why is this?
And it's it's one of thosethings where it's like there's
so many resources out there, forexample, with professional
development, the school offersresources.
I was being a resource andpeople weren't reaching out and
and it was ultimately because,one, it's just hard and it takes
(11:06):
effort, and two, it's justscary for some people.
And so I would say those arethe two big things.
It's like it's either just toohard and they don't have enough
oomph or motivation oraccountability to get there, and
two, they're just maybe scared.
Tim Newman (11:22):
Yeah, that whole idea of being scared of it for
whatever reason, right, I meanit could be any number of
reasons why they're fearfulright.
It could be.
They don't want to look stupid,they don't want to sound stupid
, they don't want to lookincompetent.
They don't know what they wantto do.
(11:44):
They don't have direction.
Nick Batchelder (11:44):
I mean it know.
They don't know what they wantto do, they don't have direction
.
Tim Newman (11:46):
I mean, it could be any number of different things
right and I get that's a reallybig hurdle and a hump and I
would say that, you know, frommy perspective, that goes for
every generation, that goes forevery generation.
You know, I, I think that thereare you're, depending on where
(12:07):
you are in life you have those,you have those hurdles, you have
those, those, those barriers tosuccess that I think that we,
we, we put up ourselves right,because nobody is telling you
that you can't do something, oror, if they are, you're not
listening to it.
Right, you know when you can'tdo something, or or if they are,
you're not listening to it,right?
You know, when you don't dosomething, it's because you're
(12:30):
telling yourself that you can'tdo it, or you don't want to do
it, or what have you.
And you know that that wholeidea of the imposter syndrome,
with that internal self-talk, Ithink, is it's it's more us than
society or outside peopletelling us that we can't do
something, where you shouldn'tdo this or you shouldn't do that
.
Nick Batchelder (12:49):
Yeah, I completely agree, and I think
one of the other factors kind oftouching on it's easier to
avoid people than ever is Ithink my generation has just
been tested less right.
Like we're not, we weren't likeas kids, like sent out onto the
street to play and go figurethings out and be all
independent, right.
I think that's part of it too.
Like we just had lessexperiences where we've had to
(13:10):
put ourselves out there and facefearful things for a lot of
people and I think that'sstarting to catch up to you when
you get older.
Like all right, now's the timeyou don't have anyone to look
after you, like you have to godo the scary thing, whether you
want to or not.
I think just takes a long.
Tim Newman (13:23):
It takes longer for some people because maybe they
didn't have that experiencegrowing up yeah, you're so right
and um, you know when, when youlook at the differences in
generations I mean I didn't talkabout your generation, my
generation, because it's it's athat's a huge difference, right,
because we, we were thegeneration that we're told to go
(13:44):
away, to go outside and play,and you better just come back
when it gets.
You know, when the streetlightscome on, and I don't really
care what happens in between,they just don't get arrested or
get hurt.
And you know, and now you know,young people today, they're so
structured they're never notsupervised by somebody, right?
Whether it's a teacher, whetherit's a parent, whether it's a
(14:06):
babysitter or whatever it is,they're supervised and very,
very structured.
There's no just free playtimeeither.
Nick Batchelder (14:19):
I think the most freedom I had growing up
was I rode my bike to school fora couple of years, right.
I think we were like literallya minute from school, right.
Like that experience.
That experience was great and Iloved it yeah.
Tim Newman (14:36):
That's just what the times are, kind of going away,
yeah, and you know for you know,for many reasons, you know it's
, I mean it's.
I'm not saying that it's it'sall bad that things are like
that, but there are consequencesfor everything, right, both
good and bad.
It doesn't matter what wechoose or what we do or what we
don't do.
There's both good and badconsequences to that.
(14:56):
How have your peers reacted toyou in things you're doing and
in your success?
Because you know, again they'vegot to see you and say wow.
Nick Batchelder (15:09):
Yeah, yeah, I would say 90% of it has been
very, very nice feedback.
Yeah, everyone's, everyone'svery kind, especially when they
when they hear about like oh,like you revoke your 21.
Like that's very.
I get a lot of positivefeedback like that and I do
really appreciate it.
And that was one of the biggestfears too, of writing something
(15:29):
like that and putting that outinto the world of like wow, like
one, like everyone's going togo okay, how is this going to be
received?
But I think I thought about ita little longer.
Just because I'm in college,I'm in this kind of bubble where
, like everyone I know is goingto know about it, right, and
like there's just everyone'sattached in so many more ways
than they would be when I'm outin the real world and so, like I
(15:50):
was like all right if I do this, like everyone's going to know
about it.
You know, everything that Iwrite in here is public
knowledge.
Now, that was really scary butthankfully, everyone you know
I'd say 90% of feedback I get isgreat, 90% of feedback I get is
great and 10% is hate stuffthat I could care less about and
that I don't even read Right.
Tim Newman (16:06):
Yeah, you know it's, it's.
It's kind of funny in a way.
You know, I I look at thingslike this that you know, when
you, when you look at feedbacklike that, you know you take the
really good stuff, the outliergood stuff and the bad stuff and
(16:28):
you throw that away becauseit's either these people really
love you and they're going tosay great things about you it
doesn't matter what you do,right, I mean, you could what
doesn't really matter and it'sgreat, I'm not discounting that
at all but in terms of in termsof personal growth, sometimes
that's not very helpful, right?
And then you take the otherside.
That's bad, it doesn't matterwhat you say or do, and the
(16:50):
comments are just not helpful atall.
And then if you focus on, youknow, those things that are in
between, that's where I thinkyou're going to get the best
feedback to be able to go andimprove on whatever it is that
you're doing.
Either wow, keep doing this,because this seems to be working
, or maybe work on this overhere, make some of these tweaks,
and that's that's how we'regoing to get better.
Nick Batchelder (17:12):
Yeah, no, I love that you said that and
that's actually something I usefor like my physical appearance,
sometimes with confidence, isthat's one of like the biggest
things, especially with youngpeople, and that I deal with all
the time.
Like okay, like how do I look?
Like I want to like look in themorning.
Or sometimes I'm like, ah, Idon't feel like I look great and
I I genuinely tell myself I'llbe like on days where I feel
like I look great, I'm like, hey, like you don't look quite as
(17:38):
good as you think, and on dayswhen I look bad, I'm like, hey,
you don't look quite as bad.
Tim Newman (17:43):
There to me is something that I don't know,
that I'll ever understand.
It's probably just because thisis just my face and this is how
I look.
I mean, there's not a lot youcould do with this face right.
But you know, what yourgeneration does is put so much
effort, emphasis on how you lookand what other people think
that you, how other people viewyou and how you look and what
(18:03):
other people think that you look, how, how other people view you
and how you look and what youdo, when, especially from the
digital perspective, 99 of thesepeople don't know you.
Yeah, and we put so much of ourof who we are into, what people
who don't even know whoseopinion yeah, it's funny you
(18:24):
mentioned that I was having.
Nick Batchelder (18:26):
I was talking about this on one of my recent
podcast episodes.
We were talking about likeInstagram and I was.
I was really reflecting on likehow my main Instagram page is
like so fake, cause I wouldcause, now that I have I have
two Instagram pages, right, Ihave my professional one and
then I have like my my me one,and I was reflecting on it.
I was like, wow, like thecontent that I post on my
(18:48):
professional one and then I havelike my my me one and I was
reflecting on it.
I was like, wow, like thecontent that I post on my
professional one, I would neverpost on my other one, cause it's
like too vulnerable, it's tooreal, it's too me, right, like
the other one is really justlike.
Hey, here are my highlights,here's what I want you to think
about me, and when I, when Istarted both the second account,
I really saw like how fake theother one was.
I'm like, wow, this reallyisn't me at all.
Tim Newman (19:04):
Well, let's, let's actually get into that, because
that was, that was you know,recent episode and, and I think
that was with Chrissy.
Nick Batchelder (19:12):
Yeah, chrissy Desmond yeah.
Tim Newman (19:13):
Okay, and you know there was a lot of really good
points in there that you talkedabout.
You know that being one of them, and you know, I don't know,
and you know, I don't know, Ithink she I thought she brought
up some really good points tosay that that really wasn't fake
for you.
It's just different because,because there's a, there's a
(19:34):
professional Nick, right, andthen there's the regular Nick,
the the the, the, the personalNick and there's.
You know, there are somesimilarities there and obviously
, obviously you're not going topost things, some things on a
professional account that youwould be posting on a personal
account.
(19:54):
Now I've got different thoughtson that, but that's not what
this conversation is about.
But you know, you're building aprofessional brand and it's
still you, it still has theundertones of you, right, and
you're not posting anything thatyou don't truly think or feel.
It's just done in a different,more professional way.
Nick Batchelder (20:23):
Yeah, no, I'm actually glad you called me out
there, cause I actually thinkyou're right and I forgot.
Chris, you brought up thatpoint and you're you're, you're,
definitely right.
It is actually.
It is a different side of me.
It's the more fun, relaxed sideof me and it's definitely less
vulnerable.
But that doesn't mean it's notnecessarily me, right.
Tim Newman (20:55):
And Good point.
But so if we, as just on aregular, you know general topics
, if we could understand that,how much better would we be, you
know, especially from thatyounger generation.
So, like you know, for me I donow have a actually the only,
the only separate professionalaccount that I have is on
Instagram.
That's the only one.
Everything else is all it'sjust me.
It's either personal orprofessional, depending on what
I'm posting, and the only reasonwhy I had that one on Instagram
(21:23):
is because I did not want tomix, you know, some of my other
ventures, like my golf stuff.
I did not want that involved inthe speaking with confidence
stuff, because I didn't want toconfuse people in that manner.
But essentially, the tone isstill the same.
The content may be a little bitdifferent, but the tone and who
(21:46):
I come across as, I think, isstill the same, because I think
it doesn't matter.
Even though we are living insuch a digital world, we still
want to be seen as human, whichbuilds even more trust.
Nick Batchelder (22:05):
Yeah, you're right, and as I start to think
about it more, I think thebiggest reason I have the
different accounts is just thepeople I want seeing it.
Actually, I think it's more so.
Just I have the personalaccount because I have a select
few people I'm like these arethe people that I want to post
this to Like this is who this ismeant for, right, and I think
that's actually maybe even thebiggest factor there.
Tim Newman (22:25):
Yeah for Right, and I think that's actually maybe
even the biggest factor there.
Yeah, yeah, you know a coupleof other things I wanted to
bring up in that episode.
You know you you talked aboutyou were in class and you had a,
a CEO of a bank who came in whogave a presentation, and he was
really, really nervous and itwas obvious that he was nervous.
And then you wanted to ask aquestion, but you were nervous
about asking the question andand I thought that was really
(22:47):
really good and and and.
Things to think about here is itdoesn't matter where you are in
life, speaking in public is isnot easy and just putting
yourself out there and yeah, andyeah.
Nick Batchelder (23:04):
I think that's.
That's one of the biggestthings.
Misconceptions that I see islike people are like all right,
like one day I'm going to wakeup and I'm going to be confident
.
It's like that's not how thatworks, it's not how it works.
It's not how it works.
Some days you're a two, somedays you're a six, some days
you're a nine.
And the reality is like thepeople are really good at
confidence, are good at justgetting themselves from like a
two to a six on a bad day, orsix to a nine on a bad you know
(23:25):
okay day, and then, like stayingat a nine on a great day, right
, like you just have to havetools in the toolbox to help you
kind of get yourself up alittle bit higher than you kind
of naturally are.
Because every day I'm different,right.
Like right now I'm feelingpretty good, I'm I would say I'm
like an eight, and you know,last weekend I was so tired and
I rolled to bed I wasn't feelinggood, I was probably like a
three.
I'm like I'm staying insidetoday, right, and you just have
(23:46):
to like kind of battle that andknow like it's just a journey
and it's never going to be a 10out of 10.
And I think it's more fun thatway, because I think life would
be boring if we just found wehad these skills and then we got
to keep them at a perfect levelforever.
Like it's more fun to developthem.
Tim Newman (23:59):
Yeah, yeah, and it's , it's.
So.
This past weekend I had to, Ihad to do a recording and I
don't.
I kept telling my wife I saidI've got to get this done this
weekend, I have to do it thisweekend, I have to do it this
weekend.
And Saturday afternoon she saidyou're not doing today because
I'm looking at you and there'sno way that you're going to be
(24:21):
able to do it and come acrossthe way that I know you want to
come across.
And I said, seriously, you'rereally going to say that to me.
But she was right and I mean, Icould have gone through the
motions and I could have donethe fake confidence, I could
have done the fake smile andeverything else.
But you know, especially whenyou're doing it on camera, right
and one, it's going to comeacross because it's there for
(24:41):
forever and you post it's therefor forever, right.
And it's very different if nowI'm going to a networking event
and I've got to go and do thosethings, I've got to do whatever
I need to do to to get out ofthat funk, to get out of that,
that, that mindset because again, let's talk about mindset here
in a second.
But but to get out of thatmindset and get into the
(25:03):
professional mindset of buildingand making connections Right.
Nick Batchelder (25:08):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a.
It's an interesting balance oftaking care of yourself when
you're really not feeling it andalso knowing like hey, this is
a moment I need to push throughand really develop yourself.
And the more you do it, thebetter you get at finding the
distinction of like okay, thisis self-care moment or is this a
push through, like strap onyour boots moment.
Tim Newman (25:27):
Yeah, a ton in how important building network and
building personal relationshipsand connections are and how, how
(25:49):
it does take a certain mindsetto be able to do that.
You can't, you can't go.
Let's just say, for example,you can't go to a networking
event.
You know, hang out up againstthe wall, you know, have your
drink and eat some crackers orcheese or whatever it is, and
expect that people are going tocome up to you and start
building connections.
You have to be the one to goout and initiate those things.
Nick Batchelder (26:13):
Yeah, and it applies everywhere.
Right, if you're at the bar, agirl's not going to walk up to
you.
If you're just sitting in thebar in the corner, right.
Same with networking.
Same with making friends at aclub right, if you're joining a
club for the first time, youhave to go talk to these members
.
But it's scary and it's new andit's intimidating for a lot of
people and you really do have tostart taking baby steps to like
(26:36):
kind of get used to that andget you know, feel like that's
something you're good at and,like we were just saying with
public speaking confidence, it'snot.
It's never going to be super,it's never going to be like the
easiest thing ever.
I mean, maybe if you do it forthe whole, your whole life, I
still get nervous all the timeabout it and I do this all the
time yeah, well, I, I hate it,dude, I'm, I'm, I'm an introvert
(26:56):
.
Tim Newman (26:56):
I mean I would rather poke myself in the
eyeballs with a toothpick thango to a networking event.
Nick Batchelder (27:02):
And that's just .
Tim Newman (27:03):
God's honest truth, I mean.
I just I hate doing it.
I don't like doing itno-transcript.
Nick Batchelder (27:37):
Yeah, one of the things I've been thinking
about is like, okay, like peoplethat go to networking events
and like kill it, like why arethey killing it?
It's like, well, a lot of thosepeople just want to be there
and they love it, right, andit's kind of fun for them, right
.
Like this, the Uber extroverts,right, and so that's been
something I've been don't enjoythis, like you got to find ways
that you next day, I try andfind ways to make it fun.
I also just try and find waysto keep it light and, like I
(28:23):
mentioned earlier, I like tothink of it as a chance to work
on my improv and just kind ofmess around a little.
But I would say the biggestthing that helps me in those
situations, that helps me inpodcasts like this, this is the
first big thing I'm doing withmy day, right?
I think a lot of people would bereally nervous about this, like
I'm actually not wasn't nervousabout this beforehand.
(28:43):
I think the biggest reason isjust like being present.
Yes, you're being really goodat being present, okay, because
when I'm here in this moment,I'm not thinking about what
happens if I say the wrong thing, right.
I'm not thinking about mistakesI've made in the past.
I'm very present with you rightnow and it helps make this less
scary and more enjoyable.
Tim Newman (29:01):
And and I, you know, I I think that you really kind
of nailed, nailed it on a for anumber of different things,
right?
Because if you talk about beingpresent and listening and being
engaged right, number one ifyou're not present, it's obvious
.
I mean, it is so obvious,especially if you're going to a
networking event and you'retrying to make a connection, if
you're not present and engagedit doesn't matter, right?
(29:25):
But you can't build trueconnection, you can't build true
relationships, if you're notwilling to be present, if you're
not willing to be engaged inthe other person's and being
interested in them.
And it comes across, it showson your face.
You know the one thing that andthis bothers me across the board
(29:49):
, I don't care who it is whenyou're having a conversation
with somebody and you hear thephone go off, and the first
thing they do is they, they stopand they look at the phone.
You know to me, okay, why am Ibothering?
You know and again, I'm notsaying that I'm perfect in this,
I'm in no way shape or form,right, but when you're having a
(30:13):
conversation with somebody, whenyou're other people, unless
somebody's head's falling off,that phone should be the last
thing on your mind.
You should be so involved inthat, and if you're not involved
in it, then step back from that, step back and step away so
that you're not coming across asunengaged, uninterested.
(30:36):
You're not coming across asunengaged, uninterested.
Nick Batchelder (30:43):
I mean, there's so much to the whole idea of
the personal interactions thattechnology takes away from.
Yeah, for anyone listeningwho's like man, I don't feel
like I'm that charismatic.
I don't feel like I'm that cool.
I don't feel like people likeme.
When I'm at these events, Ifeel like I'm always nervous.
I like to tell people it's theeasiest it's ever been to be the
most charismatic person in theroom.
Like people are distracted,people are not engaged, people
(31:06):
are not good at reading bodylanguage, people are not good at
being authentic, right, like,it's actually so easy nowadays
to like come off as like wow,this dude is confident and
charismatic and it's.
It's as simple as you'reengaged, your body language is
facing somebody, you're leaningin when they're saying something
interesting, right, you're withthat person and people really
pick up on that, because it'svery it's rare in a lot of
settings today.
Tim Newman (31:28):
It really, truly is.
There are so many things thatyou can do, like you just said,
(31:48):
to show engagement to.
For people like me again, who'san introvert, who doesn't like
doing these things that you knowyou can do and still be
successful, asking questions,showing interest, you know.
And one thing you talked aboutawareness, but awareness about
who you are as an individual,right, because you can't really
build connection true, realconnections with other people if
you don't know who you are asan individual.
Nick Batchelder (32:07):
Yeah, and the more you know who you are, the
easier it is, because the moreyou're okay with going, hey, I'm
not for you or we're not foreach other, right, like we're
not a match, like that wassomething that was a game
changer for me, especially withthe social media content where I
go, okay, like if, if I go tomeet this person and we don't
you know we're not matching, orlike it's just not working, it's
kind of awkward, my firstreaction isn't oh, no-transcript
(32:44):
, that's natural and that givesyou a lot of inner confidence.
You're like, hey, like, this iswho I am and I know it, and I'm
looking for people who are sucha good point that you know
somebody and again, don't takethis the wrong way Somebody your
age has already figured thatout, right?
Tim Newman (33:03):
Because there are so many people that are so much
older than you that have neverfigured that out.
And that only comes from, fromdoing the work on yourself,
knowing who you are, knowing whoyou are as an individual, what
your values are, what your corevalues are, what you like, what
you don't like, what you want,what you don't want, what you're
looking for, the directions youwant to go and understand some
(33:25):
of those things in life aregoing to change.
But if you don't feel that anddon't know those things, as
those other things are changingagain, you're never really going
to true connection yeah, one ofmy favorite favorite things I
get you know a little.
Nick Batchelder (33:43):
One of my favorite things is like
sometimes I'll be in the livingroom and I'll just be sitting on
the couch and I'll just be likeI'll have no devices on me,
I'll just be thinking aboutstuff.
Right, my roommates to come in,I'd be like are you okay?
Like are you depressed?
Like what's going on?
I'm like, I'm like no, I'm justthinking.
And I was like I think it's sofunny, like I don't, I don't.
I know very few other likepeople this age that just like
sit around and think, and Ithink that's a big part of it
too.
Like the more time you spendwith yourself, the more, the
(34:06):
more confident you get, I thinkis a big and just thinking about
things that you find curioustoo, and just you know, working
your mind and getting it sharperand all that stuff, just all
the, all those little thingsaccumulate, right, it's never
(34:26):
one big thing, right, it'salways a little bit of x, a
little bit of y, a little bit ofz, and a lot of people nowadays
are like all right, give me thebig fix.
Like what's, give me the thing?
What's the one thing I need?
Easy fix.
They want something.
What's the one thing I need?
Yeah, and it's.
That's just not how it goes.
And and, like you mentioned,like a lot of people in their
40s and 50s and maybe 60s, likedon't even know this yet.
Yeah, and that's one of them.
(34:48):
That's why my mission statementis like, hey, like I want to
teach people now, because thinkabout the kind of change you can
make once you have that right.
Like so many doors open up andI'm going to have so many more
options in life because I haveit at 21.
And if I had learned it at 41,and my goal is to get that into
as many people as possible andthat, hopefully, being a peer to
listen to me a little more thanyou know, 50 year old, telling
(35:08):
them and and and, and I'm withyou.
Tim Newman (35:12):
I hope they do too.
And that's that's also why it'sso important, at least from my
perspective, that you're doingthis, because you know I could
tell them a thousand times,right.
And then you come in, you saythe exact same words in the
exact same language.
Exact same words, exact samephrase, exact same tone.
(35:32):
And you touch them where if Ido it, it's over their head, for
whatever reason.
And you know whatever it takesto get through, to get people to
, and I and I say that like it'sa bad thing to get through to
them, you know, but that's notwhat.
That's not exactly what I mean.
It's like.
It's like you're in trouble.
I'm trying to get through toyou, but that's not exactly what
(35:53):
I'm talking about.
But it's whatever's going to.
Going to resonate with somebodyis really all that matters to
me.
I don't care who says it, Idon't care who, who, who does it
, but as long as you get it fromsomewhere and you hear it from
somebody that these are thethings I need to be doing or I
should be doing, that's all Icare about.
Nick Batchelder (36:14):
Yeah, I mean that's part of the reason you
have guests on a podcast, right,it's like let's get all these
different perspectives and causeI?
I mean you know so much of thisalready, um, but it's, it's
easier for your audience whenthey hear it from different
people and differentperspectives and they hear
similar ideas across people whodon't know each other.
Right, and you're like, okay,that has some more validity then
.
And yeah, I think part of thereason too people listening,
(36:35):
people my age, listen to me alittle more is like after this
call, I got econ homework andthen I'm going to office hours,
right, right, and then I likeit's, I'm still a normal college
student.
I just have a bit of this aswell.
Tim Newman (36:48):
You know, and it's it's.
It's funny you say that thatthat's what you're doing.
I mean, I don't know how youfind time to do all these things
.
And you know, one of the thingsthat you said to me when we did
our pre-interview talk is thatyou read a lot of books, which
to me is great.
I mean, I think, of the thingsthat really move us forward are,
(37:13):
to me, some of the mostimportant are reading books and
asking questions.
Reading books and askingquestions I think two are two of
the two of the biggest thingsthat move us forward and to find
somebody again and I say Idon't want this to sound bad
because I'm not putting yourgeneration, but one problem that
I have with your generation isyou don't like to read, you
don't or you don't read.
Nick Batchelder (37:35):
Yeah, don't read at all.
No, I try and give my, I tryand give my friends books all
the time they won't read it.
Tim Newman (37:41):
So how can we change that?
Because I think that's a,that's a, that's a big, that's a
big hurdle.
Nick Batchelder (37:49):
The big hurdle and you can't just hand someone
a book and tell them the read.
I've tried that.
It doesn't work.
My philosophy Well, I have twothings that I'm trying right now
to do that the biggest one isI'm trying to be a role model.
So when people go, hey, likehow can I be like you?
It's like well, you got to read.
That's one of the core things Ido.
Right, like that's you know, ifyou're, if your role model is,
(38:12):
you know, if your role modeltells you that this is what they
do, like you're, you're morelikely to do it.
So that's, that's part of it.
It's just being a good example.
And then a lot of like thecontent that I create.
Like the book that I wrote wasabout, it was trying to make it
as easy as possible for peopleto read, like I'll show you, for
example, this is, you know,rick Rubin.
Tim Newman (38:30):
Yeah, I don't know the name.
Nick Batchelder (38:32):
Yeah, I love Rick Rubin.
Anyway, this is his book.
Right, love this book and likeI tell people to read it, people
won't read it.
Right, like my, that's mine.
Right, Like that's part of ittoo is like I'm like all right,
first off, let me try and be arole model.
And also like how can I makethis the easiest possible for
you?
Like this, my book's like 80pages.
It's so many examples, it'ssuper.
(38:52):
Okay, I'm going to make this aseasy as possible for you.
And then also like hey, if youwant to do what I'm doing, you
got to read, but it's a trickyone and I'm still working on it.
Tim Newman (39:01):
Yeah, and it's.
I like the fact that you wrotea book for people that don't
like to read.
Nick Batchelder (39:11):
Yeah.
Tim Newman (39:11):
Yeah.
I like to Like you said, youmake it easy for for them, much
easier for them, to read to.
You know, and I think part ofit is and I'm glad you made you
made that visual, the.
It's our attention spans, right, um, and a lot of that has to
do with with technology and soforth, not to get too much too
(39:32):
far down down the field thanthat, but it's our attention
span, is is part of it, and ifyou have something like you said
, that's an easy read, that'sshorter and to the point, that
does that is something that isis theoretically helpful.
Nick Batchelder (39:48):
Yeah, and the well.
The first step is always thehardest, right, like you see so
many people.
They're like I won't watch, I'mnot going to watch a movie,
that's too long.
And then they end up watchingeight episodes of a TV show.
Right, it's like, well, why dothey do that?
It's like well, the 30 minutesseems more appealing to them
than the two hours.
So like, okay, I'll do the 30minutes.
Tim Newman (40:04):
Right.
Nick Batchelder (40:04):
And then they end up watching more anyway.
And so, like just having avisual book, that's like this
thin versus this thick, you'relike, okay, I can get through
that.
It like committing to things isa big thing right now.
It's like people do not want tocommit to things and making
things as as minimal, thecommitment as possible as big
and I was joking with my dad, Iwas like how good of a
(40:25):
businessman am I that I wrote abook for people who don't like
to read?
Right, but it's a, it's a funchallenge and it's that's the
audience it's meant for andwe'll we'll help the most.
Tim Newman (40:34):
But the book has been well received.
Yeah, yes, it has.
So, and let's go back to someof the comments.
You know the reviews on Amazon.
They're all really good, exceptfor one, and I think the one is
a spoof.
I read it.
I think the one is just some,you know some troll trying to be
(40:58):
funny.
Nick Batchelder (40:59):
You know it's funny, as I know exactly who
wrote that.
Do you really?
It's my ex-girlfriend's littlebrother's friend, I see, don't,
okay, yeah, but yeah, literallyI saw that.
I was like I was reading that.
It was like his financial tipsare terrible.
I was like I didn't leave anyfinancial tips.
I was like what?
And I was like I was textingsome people.
(41:21):
I was like, oh okay, there wego.
I was like so it's, it's justpart of it.
But I was, I was, I actuallyliked it better.
I was like I kind of like 4.8stars better than five.
I was like it makes it seemmore real.
You know, well, you know, I,I'm really.
Tim Newman (41:40):
I'm really impressed in what you're doing and I know
you got to get kind of homeworkand I'm laughing, but I'm not
laughing, it's, it's just.
You know, let's just put thisway.
Let's say you're 23.
Okay, when you've done this,okay, you may have a meeting to
go to.
It's, it's just a different,it's just a different time table
(42:01):
, different schedule.
Nick Batchelder (42:02):
Yesterday I was doing podcast work, editing,
posting good one right and thenI had an intramural softball
game.
That's awesome, that's my life.
It's like I'm doing this andthen I'm doing softball and I'm
doing econ homework and then I'min a fraternity right and I
think that econ homework andthen I'm in a fraternity right
and like it's, it's.
I think I think that reallyhelps with my message because
(42:22):
I'm like, hey, like, if I'm 21years old and I'm doing all this
normal stuff that you've alldone before, right, and I'm
doing this, you can do it too.
I, without a doubt, if the 21year old frat guy can do it, you
can do it.
Tim Newman (42:37):
Like, trust me, and and then again.
To me it comes back to mindset.
You know what?
What?
What's going on up here.
You know what is it that youhave to?
What's that switch to?
To make a commitment to getover the hump, whatever it is,
because we all have our thingright.
(42:58):
It doesn't matter however manybillion people in the world.
Every single one of us has ourown thing that is holding us
back, and I don't care who youare, I don't care if you're Tony
Robbins, simon Sinek, grantCardo, I don't care, we all have
our thing.
That's going on up here andwhatever it is that we have to
do to get over that, let's let'sfigure it out sooner rather
(43:21):
than later and just just do it.
Nick Batchelder (43:23):
Do the thing and everyone knows what that
thing is.
Right, right, jordan petersonhas a good clip where he's like
if you sit down and ask yourselfwhat's like, what are the five
thing?
one to five things I need towork on, it's like you know it,
you just don't want to look atit right yeah, you're just
avoiding it because that's it'sgoing to be hard to face those
things exactly, and, and I wouldsay, my one message is to
(43:46):
people that are going to starton that path is you don't have
to be perfect every day.
Yes, right, the idea is likeit's split into thirds.
A third of the time you'regoing to have a bad day.
It's just's just not gonna work.
You're gonna revert to your oldhabits.
You're not gonna make anyprogress.
A third of the time it should begoing pretty good, like you
made some good progress, youfelt, like you did a decent job.
Maybe you didn't kill it, butit was good.
And a third of the time itshould be great.
(44:08):
Like man I killed today, right,like that's natural progression
of like it's not gonna be good,good, good, good, it's to be
good, great, great, bad, good,bad, great, great, good, right,
like that's just what happens.
I think a lot of people arelike, oh, it has to be great,
and then, if it's not great, whyeven bother?
That's just not how that works.
It's not how it works.
Don't, don't be too hard onyourself if you have a bad day
(44:29):
right guys.
Tim Newman (44:31):
I tell people progress over perfection because
consistency is key.
The more you do something, theeasier.
I'm not saying the better youget.
The more you do something, theeasier it gets.
You have to actually do, youknow, be willing to grow to, to
be better, right.
The more you do things, theeasier it gets.
So, um, just start doing thething.
(44:53):
Just start whatever it is, getover it and and you know and
you're gonna be fine yeah, yeah.
Nick Batchelder (45:01):
But problems don't get easier.
We just get better at dealingwith them oh, just just wait.
Tim Newman (45:06):
They know they trust me, they don't I'm sure that's
why I'm still 12 that's why it'seasier.
Nick Batchelder (45:12):
That way, right , it's more fun.
That way it's much easier.
Tim Newman (45:14):
It's much easier.
You know I tell.
I tell people all the time youknow I'm doing great, unless you
tell me otherwise.
If you tell me I got otherthings, I gotta worry about then
.
Then I'll start worrying aboutother than that.
I'm doing great.
I love that, so it's awesome.
But, nick, thank you so muchfor spending some time with us
today.
I really do appreciate theinsight.
You know know you're doinggreat things.
(45:35):
Where can people find you?
Where can they buy your book?
All the good stuff.
Nick Batchelder (45:41):
Yeah, so you can buy the book on Amazon.
Just look up crusher twentiesand you can find my podcast
building the blueprint onYouTube or Spotify.
And if you get confused aboutany of that, just look up Nick
Batchelder on the internet andmy website will come up and you
can find all the good stuff andthe Nick Batchel there on all
socials.
Tim Newman (45:58):
And it does come up.
You've got a great website.
Your podcasts go great.
I love the topics.
Before I sign off again,because I've always got one more
thing.
Nick Batchelder (46:11):
I could talk forever.
Tim Newman (46:12):
But as an introvert keep that in mind I love the
topics and I love what you'redoing, especially for somebody
like me.
You know we've talked.
I think it's incumbent upon us,as the older generations, to
figure out what's going on withthe younger generation so that
we can have strongerrelationships and stronger
(46:36):
connections and strongercommunications.
And you know there's a coupleof really good podcasts out
there.
That mix kind of what I'm doing.
But you know what you're doingis great because you're talking
to your peers and we're hearingfrom their mouth what's going on
(46:56):
in their life, what they think,how they're reacting, what
their mindset is right.
It's so important and I thinkif we're going to move forward
as a society, we have to bringour generations together more to
understand each other so thatwe can actually work together
better.
I appreciate that and Icompletely agree to understand
each other so that we can canactually work together better.
Nick Batchelder (47:17):
I, I appreciate that and I, I completely agree.
And, yeah, my whole goal isrelatable curiosity with the
podcast.
It's like, hey, you know,self-help is great, but I want
to bring but everyone who doesit is, you know, no offense like
30 to 50 or 60.
Right, and it's like all right,let's bring a more pure
perspective.
And I want, I want people whomaybe go, oh, like that's not my
(47:37):
thing, like personal growth'snot my thing, to be like all
right, hey, come on, it's gonnabe fun, it's gonna be a little
more, you know, silly, and thenwe're gonna also have this bit
of personal growth.
So you get a bit of both andand introduce more people.
So it kind of be a steppingstone right into this world.
So people kind of get into itand then go, oh, like, I really
want to work on my confidence.
Oh, I know tim has a greatconfidence podcast, let me check
that out, right but you know I,I get, I appreciate it.
Tim Newman (47:59):
So do you have?
Is that some of theconversation you have with
getting your guests on?
Nick Batchelder (48:04):
um, that, what do you mean?
Like that they're notinterested, yeah, and like
self-help stuff, uh, no, no, Imean not particularly.
I don't like ask them that, butI, I mean I really don't know
anyone else who's as interestedin this stuff.
I know I could count on my, onmy hands how many people I know
that are interested in thispersonal development stuff in
the same way that I am right,and so, uh, I've had part of it.
(48:26):
I had a couple of those peopleon, but most of it is just, you
know, they're like it's just,it's just a foreign world to
them.
They're like that's a thing for30 and 40 and 50 year olds to
do, that's not a thing for 20year olds to do.
Tim Newman (48:36):
I've got time, it doesn't matter, it's like oh,
let's do it now so you canutilize the time.
But that's what makes our point.
Nick Batchelder (48:43):
Yeah.
Tim Newman (48:44):
Now is the time.
Nick Batchelder (48:45):
Now's the time.
You can utilize the time andhave way more options and way
more fun with the time if youprepare yourself now.
But that's not the easy thingto do.
Tim Newman (48:54):
Exactly Well again, nick.
Again, thanks so much for yourtime.
I do appreciate it.
You take care and we'll talk toyou soon.
Nick Batchelder (49:02):
Absolutely.
Tim Newman (49:06):
Thanks for having me , tim.
Be sure to visitspeakingwithconfidencepodcastcom
to get your free e-book TopTool and Challenges for Public
Speakers and how to Overcome it.
You can also register for theForum for Public Speaking.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change the world.
(49:29):
We'll talk to you next time,take care.
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Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Herd with Colin Cowherd
The Herd with Colin Cowherd is a thought-provoking, opinionated, and topic-driven journey through the top sports stories of the day.