August 4, 2025 • 42 mins
What does it really take to turn your personal struggles and lived experience into authentic confidence when you communicate? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I sit down with Cesar Cardona—public speaker, podcast co-host, and mindfulness educator—to uncover how resilience, mindfulness, and embracing your unique story are foundational not only to personal growth, but also to becoming a powerful communicator.
Cesar’s journey is anything but ordinary. Growing up navigating conflict in a home of deep cultural and political divides, he openly shares how early trauma shaped his perspective but also planted the seeds for resilience. We discuss how he learned to move forward despite adversity, drawing on the strengths of both his parents—combining book smarts and street smarts—and how everyone can find something valuable in their experiences, no matter how tough.
A turning point came for Cesar at a Joseph Campbell roundtable event, when—despite never aspiring to speak publicly—he took a risk, shared his thoughts, and was suddenly handed a life-changing speaking opportunity. This honest look at “accidentally” launching a public speaking career is both inspiring and packed with practical lessons for anyone wanting to share their voice but feeling hesitant or nervous.
We also break down what it’s really like to speak in front of others (hint: nerves are normal and even useful), and why storytelling doesn’t require a big dramatic narrative—just a willingness to share honestly and connect on a human level. Listening, asking questions, leaning on friends for support, and being accountable (while offering grace to ourselves and others) are all covered, along with some thoughts on the role of AI and technology in communication today.
In this conversation, you’ll hear us talk about:
- Using mindfulness and self-awareness to manage nerves and uncertainty
- The importance of moving forward, even when it’s uncomfortable
- Building a supportive network and the courage to ask for help
- Why listening is just as important as speaking
- Embracing storytelling as a simple, daily part of communication—not just a buzzword
If you’ve ever doubted your ability to communicate confidently or wondered if your history is a liability, Cesar’s story will assure you that your best voice comes from embracing the whole of who you are.
For more on Cesar or to hear his music project, check out CaesarCardona.com, and don’t forget to grab your free resources at speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com. Your story—and your voice—matter.
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Tim Newman (00:10):
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, a
podcast that helps you build thesoft skills that lead to real
results Communication,storytelling, public speaking
and showing up with confidencein every conversation that
counts.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide you on your
journey to become a powerfulcommunicator.
I want to thank each and everyone of you for your support.
(00:31):
It truly means the world to me.
If you have questions or if youwant something covered in the
podcast, just send me a message.
Please visit timnewmanspeakscomto get your free e-book the Top
21 Challenges for PublicSpeakers and how to Overcome it.
(00:53):
Today's guest is Cesar Cardona.
Cesar is a public speaker,co-host of the podcast Beauty in
the Break and mindfulnesseducator, certified by Rice
University.
Shaped by his diverseupbringing and profound life
experiences, he inspiresaudiences with stories of
resilience, connection andgrowth.
Cesar's talks weave personalinsights through universal
truths, empowering individualsto embrace inclusion,
(01:18):
mindfulness and the shared humanexperience.
Cesar, I'm so looking forwardto this conversation.
Welcome to the show bud Tim.
Cesar Cardona (01:22):
Thank you so much .
I appreciate you very much.
Thank you for being here withme and thank you for everybody
listening.
Tim Newman (01:28):
You know, we did our pre-interview talk a little bit
ago and we talked a little bitbefore.
We just jumped on here and someof the things we talked about
(01:48):
really go to how we view and seethe world and how we choose to
go and see the world, um, andand and go through life, and
we're going to talk a little, alot about mindfulness and that's
that's really what it is thatwe talked about, um.
But I really want to start withwith your journey.
You have a really unique umstory.
You have a really unique story.
Can you share that?
Cesar Cardona (02:05):
briefly with us.
I can, yeah, I can.
So I was born in Jacksonville,florida.
I live in Los Angeles now forthe last 10 years.
This is my home, go Dodgers.
But my parents were quiteopposite of each other.
My father was a New Yorker anda Spanish man, my mother was a
(02:27):
Floridian and a Black woman, andwhat's more to add into that is
that one of them was aRepublican and the other was a
Democrat.
So I got these dynamic wayspoured into me.
They also didn't really getalong either, so I got a lot of
aggression and friction livingin that household and, to be
(02:48):
honest, it wasn't a goodupbringing.
I'm not there's no really joythere about it, um, but I've
made amends to that.
My parents and I we get alongquite well.
They became better people.
But living with those tworeally different people with
different ways of seeing theworld really had an impact on me
.
Tim Newman (03:09):
So growing up in that environment I mean you, you
I can only imagine the, the,the, the, the, the push, pull,
the, you know the tug shove thatyou're dealing with.
How did, how did that reallykind of shape your, your, your
(03:29):
mentality and growing up and howyou actually see the world and
your resilience to overcome someof trauma?
I don't, I don't know, I don'twant to put words in your mouth,
but but to me it would betrauma, to me it would be, you
know, not really trulyunderstanding um, where you kind
(03:51):
of fit, where you know how, how, how did you, how did you
develop the resiliency to becomewhat you've become today?
Let's just put it that way.
Cesar Cardona (03:59):
Sure you are.
You're using all the rightwords.
By the way, there, 100% wastrauma.
It was endless amount of traumaand a lot of stuff I took with
me as an adult that I neverwanted to take with me, and it
took me a long time to getthrough it.
(04:20):
So go to your question about howI maintain the resilience for
it.
You know it's a question I'llbe probably mulling over for the
rest of my life, right?
But what things I have pickedup on?
Whereas was that, even withthose two parents being so
opposite, both of them arestrong people.
Their one parent is veryresilient and book smart and
very good at followinginstruction and rule, and the
(04:41):
other one is very street smartand very good at innovating and
finding new ways, and I pickedup those also.
So even in that you knowhorrible childhood, there was a
part in me that lived withinthat that just wouldn't let go
of their portion of the reins onthe chariot of my life.
(05:03):
They just wouldn't, and I waslucky enough to hold that with
me wherever and that's a realheady, practical or impractical
way, saying it, to be morepractical about it I just felt
that there was something withinme that I could still tap into,
(05:24):
even at the worst points of mylife, even the times where I
thought I didn't have it.
The resilience comes fromrecognizing the ever change of
time, recognizing that no matterhow bad something is, it
reiterates to something else.
And I started seeing thosepatterns and that mindset and,
without knowing it was going toturn out for the good, I just
(05:46):
kept again riding the change oftime.
I kept being, I kept, I kepttrying to be a better surfer in
the waves of life.
Tim Newman (05:55):
So it's, I enjoy the words that you're using,
because you know it's, it's a,it's a different way of looking
at things, right, I mean, if, ifsomebody on the opposite end of
the spectrum would use verydifferent words to communicate
that, and you're to me, you'reusing, you're using positive
(06:19):
action words, uh, forwardlooking, as opposed to negative
words, looking backwards, yeah,and you know, I, there's all
kinds of quotes out there, but,but, but one that you're that I,
that I hear a lot, is you'reeither getting better or you're
getting worse.
There's no standing still.
(06:39):
You're either moving forward oryou're moving backwards.
There's no standing still.
And I think the people that, uh, I probably admire the most are
the ones that you know can, Iwouldn't say compartmentalize,
but but find ways to moveforward, no matter what is
(07:00):
happening, no matter what'sgoing on around them, whether
it's, you know, bad things forthem, whether it's bad things
for their friends or family, um,uh, trauma, you know finding
ways to to deal with thosethings and move forward without
letting whatever that is holdthem back.
Cesar Cardona (07:18):
Right, yes, yes, I, I, I fundamentally believe.
I fundamentally believe thatevery single thing that happens
in your life, there is some sortof value to learn from it, good
or bad or neutral.
I give talks about growth,mindfulness, and one of the
subject matters are dealing withthe people in your lives who
(07:41):
are the yeah butters right inyour lives, who are the yeah
butters right.
Yeah, but you can't do this.
Yeah, but that's too hard.
Yeah, but you gotta have to paythis money.
Yeah, but you're gonna have to,so on and so forth.
You can, you can, you can buttyourself into a wall.
All you want, right, right,even those people.
There's something from which youcan learn.
At the very least, it'slearning what that, yeah, but
(08:02):
sounds like, so you know how toavoid it.
Bring your own thinking rightat the, and not at the very most
, but at a more dynamic way.
It's learning about why peoplewill say that most people's
giving you, most people tellingyou about the fears you should
worry about, are just their ownfears, their preterite out onto
you.
You know, um, um, so I, I thinkthat that is a lot of what, the
(08:27):
what.
What kept me going was knowingthat every single iteration,
every single moment of lifeoutside my mind and my, my like
living space, my room, or now myapartment or my house or
whatever.
Everything outside of that isis like the bee gathering pollen
.
(08:48):
You're going out gathering.
By every moment, everyexperience is pollen out there.
When you come home, you takethat pollen.
You turn it into honey.
That's how I see most of mylife.
Tim Newman (08:59):
And that's to me, knowing a little bit more of
your story that you share withme privately.
(09:23):
That's perspective tounderstand that everybody has
things that that is going on intheir life that at some point
the only way to move forward isto is to move forward and find
ways to to take those issuesthat are holding us back.
And we're we're just, you know,really, you know, on this
(09:44):
podcast.
We're really just talking abouthow, how we communicate right,
finding ways to, to get overthat that hump, to be able to
communicate and and again.
Not diminishing anybody'sissues here, no way.
Some people have have big,strong issues or things that
hold them back in how theycommunicate, because of, maybe,
how they were brought up.
You don't ever, don't, don't,ever, don't ever ask any
(10:06):
questions.
Don't ever, don't ever.
Look at me that way.
Cesar Cardona (10:16):
Don't ever do these types of things, but we
have to be able to move forward.
Agree, I totally agree it.
For me it's a.
In this case, to to your pointof what you're saying, it's a
two-parter One.
Every single thing that botherssomebody is a valid point.
It's valid because if youbrought it up, that means it's
hitting you at some deeper level, so it's worthy of looking at
and recognizing.
And also, you don't have tolive with that forever.
(10:37):
It's two-sided.
Give it attention.
It's asking for attention, evenif it's something as small as
the pebble in my shoe is makingme angry.
I guarantee you it's not aboutthe pebble.
I guarantee you it's aboutsomething else.
That is in your way that youpull on that thread.
You're going to find morethings.
So validate it and recognizethat.
(11:00):
You can transcend it as well.
You can work through it also.
Tim Newman (11:05):
Yeah, and and it's such a good point that it
doesn't matter what it is, Seekhelp, Ask you know, because you
know what I and I I've beenaccused of of living with rose
colored glasses for forever.
I I generally think people are,are are good.
I, I generally think people are, are are good.
I think people are good.
(11:27):
Yeah, I would agree, Um, and Ithink if you tell somebody that
or you ask somebody, can youhelp me with this, Most of the
time they're going to say yes.
Or if they can't help you,they're going to say sorry, I
can't help you.
They're going to say sorry, Ican't help you for whatever
reason, but but try, this person, a few people are just going to
(11:47):
say no, get out of here you'reright, you're absolutely right,
and anybody listening to thatcan just go test that themselves
.
Cesar Cardona (11:53):
Yeah, quite often , quite often, people will.
They'll give you something andat the very least, they'll
empathetically say they can't.
That is an implication thatthey still care, they're just
just not able to help, right?
I couldn't agree more.
Tim Newman (12:14):
And so finding that strength to ask for help in
whatever it is.
I think that's always the firststep.
Except for, you know, I think Idon't want to get into this too
much there's a video that Iwatch on the regular.
I mean, it's a short minute anda half, two minute video.
It's a guy talking about how,as as men, as men, as grown men,
it's hard for us to makefriends, it's hard for us to
reach out, just because of whatsociety has done and and or what
(12:37):
we've.
We have allowed society to sayis yeah, it's, it's.
Cesar Cardona (12:42):
Do you see that?
Tim Newman (12:43):
Yeah, society to say is is, yeah, it's, it's.
Do you see that?
Yeah, because I I fall intothat trap too.
I'm normal, just like anybodyelse.
Yeah, right.
And he said there, there, weshould have five, five types of
friends, and one of them is isthe type of friend that you can
go to with anything, anything atall, and they, they're only
(13:03):
looking out for what's best foryou, not not about work, not
about a relationship, butthey're talking about you and
how you are how's your heart?
Yeah, but if you don't have oneof those types of friends that
you can go to with those typesof things, you need to find
somebody, because those are thepeople that can really help you
and guide you to get throughsome of these things that we're
(13:27):
going to talk about.
Cesar Cardona (13:29):
You're right.
I mean think of every movie,every story, every book, every,
whatever that person on thatjourney.
At some point they'll meet atleast one helping hand along the
way.
Typically they find a group ofpeople, the allies right, the
fun and games that they findtogether and those people don't
carry our, our lead characterright.
(13:51):
They don't pick them on theirshoulders and say, all right, we
got you, we'll take it.
That's not how it works.
Everybody goes together, so youare accountable for your own
journey and your friend willhelp you clear the way, the same
manner in which they'reaccountable for theirs and you
help them clear the way.
I give this.
Whenever I get to a topic,while I'm speaking to a company
(14:15):
or whatever, or school, if Istart talking about leaning on
friends, I almost always go tothe fact that not one time did I
see in the Wizard of Oz,dorothy be carried by the Tin
man, the Lion, the Scared Girlor any other version of that,
(14:35):
because they all had to go andwalk it together.
Now they did help each otheralong the way, that's the point,
but you also got to walk thatthing too, and it's two-sided.
And to go back to something wesaid a minute ago or a little
earlier, is you and I are atthis point in our lives now
where we kind of have thisperhaps clearer way of seeing
things, knowing that twoopposites can be true at the
(14:58):
same time, knowing that thevalue is within us, not without
us, not externally all of thesethings.
That's also for me personally,not saying that I didn't go
through those negative times,not saying I didn't go through
those moments of where mypositive framework of it was not
there.
(15:19):
I had been very negative for along time.
I had thought the world was outto get me, even if my words
were more optimistic and justshifted and saw this way is that
, wait, hang on here.
What is something that I can do?
What is something that I can dobecause I know I'm in control
of these things?
And then how do I, little bylittle, release the deep
(15:41):
grasping of expectation that Ihave on other people and other
scenarios?
Because I can't account forthat.
I can't be held responsible forthose things, and the
circumstances of why somebody isor isn't to me is not something
that I could ever fathom.
(16:02):
Think about how many timesyou've heard someone say about
another person oh, this persondid A because they are B, right,
oh well, they cut me offbecause they're jerks, or they
didn't answer my call becausethey're selfish, whatever.
Whatever it is, the moment thatsame person has to tell you
(16:22):
about why they chose to dosomething.
They're going to give you allthe scenarios and the situations
and the circumstances why theymake that choice, and that is
the more clearer picture,because they experienced all the
circumstances, right, right, solet's make sure we give those
same circumstances to the otherpeople as well.
And that's how I got to thispoint of saying wait a minute,
(16:45):
wait a minute.
I'm.
I'm doing something a little.
I'm misstepping right here.
I am giving all myself thegrace for reasons why something
doesn't work and then pointingit out to everyone else, but
that's not it.
Let me turn over and make alittle more accountability for
myself.
Tim Newman (16:59):
Yeah, yeah, and we'll get into accountability a
little bit, a little bit later,because I do think
accountability, or personalaccountability, is something
that we, we, we need to do abetter job of.
But I want to talk about somemore positive things first, you
know you, your your publicspeaking journey is relatively
(17:21):
new.
Yeah, how did it happen for you?
Because, again, your story isfascinating to me because it
doesn't generally happen thatway.
It doesn't.
I mean, I'll let you tell thestory because you know it's your
(17:41):
story, but I, it's fascinating,I love it because it it's it
number one, it's real, it it'sum, it's, and it's
transformational because it canhappen.
When I say it doesn't happen,it doesn't, doesn't mean that I
can't, because it does, ithappens.
You, and I know it's happenedto others.
You know you, you, you, just,you just find something that
(18:04):
that kind of goes off and says,wow, this is it, this is this is
it, this is what I've beenlooking for.
Cesar Cardona (18:11):
Yeah, yeah, dude, you're so on point with that
point, with that, with thatobservation there's still to
this moment.
I'm like can you believe this?
I saw an old friend that Ihadn't seen in a little while.
Yesterday we went to lunch andhe's like how are you?
And I said okay, this is what'sgoing on.
And I just ran down all thesestories and he's looking at me
(18:32):
like what?
And I go, I don't know.
I don't know.
And technically I do know.
I spent the time, I focused andso on.
I followed my bliss.
I followed the thing tocorrigeless of camp, follow your
bliss.
I followed the thing thatactivated me, that vitalized me,
that made me feel more alivethan ever, and I followed that
consistently.
And then, of course, with thevigilance and the patience and
(18:54):
the endurance, things show up.
And again, here's that, andword instead of but, and these
doors just start opening upwhere they used to just be walls
.
I'm like what is going on,right?
so to answer your question I hadno thought about being a public
(19:16):
speaker.
It was not, not in my thoughts,it wasn't in my realm.
I didn't even it never occurredto me to be a public speaker,
not one time.
And I'll double down on thatand say that two Buddhist
temples that I had been a partof some years ago they both had
asked me would you like to talkfor one of the services?
I said sure, I put somethingtogether and talked about it and
(19:38):
I never thought about it again.
That's how much I didn't thinkabout it.
I literally did it.
I was standing on a whale beingupset because I couldn't find
any minnows.
Really want to set that tone forthat?
Because I've quoted josephcampbell before earlier.
(20:00):
What 10, 10 seconds ago?
I love joseph campbell, if any.
If you listening here don'tknow who that is, I highly
recommend checking him out,checking him out directly.
Don't necessarily look at whatpeople talk about him, because
they've concised it down to onething which is beautiful.
It's a beautiful thing, butthere's so much more that he
talks about and he's renownedand amazing in so many ways, but
(20:22):
there's just so much more isthe point I'm making.
So I love his teaching, I lovehow he goes about life.
He talks about the commonthread that connects all of us,
from stories to mythology, toreligion, to social tales, to
modern day, to movies, to film,to our real, personal,
day-to-day life.
There's a common narrative thathappens for all of us, right?
(20:45):
And he broke that down intowhat it means symbolically.
So, anyway, I find at somepoint that in where I live in
Los Angeles, there is a JosephCampbell round table and it's
comprised of people who are fansof his.
He died in 1987.
They get together and there's aspeaker for the event.
(21:05):
I was invited to go to thisevent and the speaker was
someone who knew Joseph Campbellfor two decades.
He passed away in 1987, so Iwasn't even born yet, but this
woman knew him for two decadesand she was now a storyteller
and she taught in colleges onmixing movies with myth and so
on.
Her name is Rebecca Armstrong.
(21:26):
She's a wonderful, brilliantwoman, because when I was
sitting there listening to hertalk, I am enamored with what
she was saying.
Like I said, I'm like thiswoman is wonderful and brilliant
.
She finishes her talk.
I'm just there as a participant.
There's like 40 or 50 of us.
She starts speaking, she saysdoes anybody have any questions
(21:49):
and one woman stands up and thiswoman stands up and says a
couple of compliments and thenanother gentleman raises his
hand and he stands up and asks aquestion.
They kind of go back and fortha little bit and then I raise my
hand and I point out some ofthe things that she said that
stood out to me that I have beenusing in my life.
(22:12):
Primarily she was talking abouta thread that's used in a lot of
culture stories and I know thatin mythology the thread in
Greek mythology is known as aclue C-L-E-W and it's used in
the story of Theseus and theMinotaur and so on and so forth.
I broke down the metaphor forwhat it meant to me and then
(22:32):
told her that I started my musicgroup called Caesar and the
Clue C-L-E-W because the threadis the symbol that connects us
with the rest of the world.
The labyrinth in the movie, thedungeon, the cave, the
underwater, whatever it is yousee in films, is symbolic for
you going in your own mind andfighting your own monsters, and
(22:53):
the thread connects you back outto the world.
And we do that now because wehave things like communication,
the internet, a thread right,the search of string theory and
physics.
We do these all day.
So I called my band Caesar andthe Clue.
And then she goes stop rightthere.
And then she turns to everyoneand says did you see what he did
?
He took the story, found themetaphor, understood the symbol,
(23:17):
applied it to his life and thenapplied it to the bigger, the
larger life of everybodyincluded, and then honored it.
She said that is genius.
You, sir, are a genius.
Now I don't necessarily agreewith that phrasing, but everyone
turns to look at me and I'msweating bullets now because I
didn't have a desire to want to.
I didn't want to be a genius.
(23:38):
Yeah, come on, I and I.
To this day I'm still like Idon't know about all that stuff.
But listen, I'm just here, youknow.
So then she says she says that.
And then she looks over to meand says you should be standing
here speaking.
And then she turns to the womanwho hosts the event and points
to me and says there is yournext speaker.
And I am flabbergasted because,again, not what I came there
(24:07):
for.
The end of the talk comes, I gowalk up to her and I say to her
thank you for saying all that.
I'm super nervous about that.
But she said if you want tospeak here, I could set you up.
I said I would love that, but Idon't know anything about that.
I'm just here.
She said take my phone number,I'll mentor you.
(24:28):
She lives near Chicago and shesaid I'll mentor you.
So from there she startedmentoring me and being a public
speaker.
Tim Newman (24:38):
All of this, by the way is just over a year ago.
Cesar Cardona (24:43):
It's nuts, it's nuts, it's absolutely nuts dude.
So, to condense the story alittle quicker living in Los
Angeles, it's very competitiveand it's easy for somebody to
want to hire a public speakerwho has experience, rather than
some guy with curly hair who hasno experience in public
speaking.
So what I did was I went and Irented a space, I invited 30 of
(25:08):
my friends and I built a talk ona topic that I want to talk
about.
My girlfriend, who used to be afilm director.
She set up two cameras for meand they were iPhone cameras, so
there wasn't, like you know,fancy cameras Shot those.
We recorded it.
I chopped those videos up andthen started shopping them out
to places and said I recentlygave a talk here.
(25:29):
I'd love to give a talk to youthe same manner.
That was june of 2024.
Maybe I shouldn't date theepisode here, but that was in.
I've already said it and bythat September I got my first
paying gig.
It has been less than that, ayear's time and I've had 15
(25:52):
paying gigs 15.
I am baffled by it and I'm theone experiencing it, I'm the one
putting it out there and doingthe effort, and still I'm like
what, what is going on and mygoodness.
But ultimately, to wrap this up, I'm ever grateful for it and
I'm ever humbled for it, and myjob is to not get stuck into the
(26:14):
congratulatory.
See it, see it as a sign ofwhat you're doing is correct,
and then get back to focusing onthe road to focusing on the
road, right?
Tim Newman (26:24):
Well, I think what you're doing is phenomenal.
I love the story.
I love you know, within thatstory there's so much that can
be unpacked, right.
There's so much that otherpeople can learn from.
Okay, now I mean, let's takeaway your upbringing, let's just
focus on going to thatconference.
Right, you went to thatconference to and I'm just I'm
(26:48):
putting words in your mouth hereyou went to that conference to
hear the speaker, maybe, maybeto learn something, maybe
interact with with those peoplethat that were there.
But you, you learned before you, before you even got there, you
had, you had a, a, uh, aninterest in that topic.
(27:08):
You had an interest in him andand his and his work, and his,
his thinking, his movies, allthose types of things, um and so
things don't just happen likethat.
So you don't you're not justgoing to walk into a conference
and expect that to happen.
And then you took what was said, you listened, you put
(27:36):
everything together and thenshared that you had to have some
gumption to stand up and share,where most people today aren't
going to do that.
That's even even even in thatgroup of people, that that was
there.
How many other people stood up?
Cesar Cardona (27:53):
true, true, very true.
Apparently, speaking publiclyis like the top three scariest
things and and and.
Tim Newman (28:01):
Even you said I mean , you were sweating bullets, you
were, you were nervous, but butyou took that step.
Remember when we talked about,as we started, this you're
either moving forward or you'removing backwards.
You have to find ways to to dothe things that have you.
Do you still get nervous?
Had, did you figure out why youwere so nervous?
(28:30):
I mean, this is this is what isreally fascinating to me,
because, you know, my very firsttime Okay, and this is what I
do now I threw up.
Cesar Cardona (28:40):
Whoa.
Tim Newman (28:41):
Whoa yeah, and I still get nervous.
I mean I gave a keynote, Idon't even.
I mean we talked about thisbefore.
Recently I gave a regularpresentation and a keynote in
the same day.
Still nervous, but still did it.
But the first time I ever stoodup in front of people, I threw
up.
Cesar Cardona (29:01):
Yep, I get nervous every time.
Every time I expect the nerves,I anticipate the nerves.
I, I and and I don't care tonot have nerves.
The nerves let me know that I'malive, that I'm paying
attention, that I'm focused.
It lets me know that I care.
(29:22):
If I didn't have the nerves,then I would be lying to myself
about something and and I.
The goal is to transcend it,work with it I'm not trying to
get rid of it.
I've learned over time.
I learned a couple things.
One there is this how do I I'mtrying to make sure I bring this
(29:42):
, make this really concise.
There's a study that shows thatand I'm really breaking, I'm
really making this study reallyconcise that if you are able to
name the fear you're seeing orexperiencing, like name it, then
it makes it from your amygdala,which is very fear, worry-based
, to your prefrontal cortex, thefront of your thoughts, which
(30:03):
is very edity, very editing,very conscious People have shown
in their brains their stresslevels.
If they witness or experiencefear without naming it, their
stress levels go higher.
The moment they think tothemselves oh, fear, it becomes
a little calmer to them becauseyou're recognizing it, you're
putting a shape around it, right?
(30:23):
I remember that study and oneday I was sitting and it was
almost my turn to go up to speakand I felt nervous and I went.
I thought to myself, oh,nervous, that's nervous, I'm
nervous, Okay, and it doesn'tmake it go away, but it does put
a shape around it.
You know, it puts a sheetaround that ghost, ghost, you
(30:45):
know, and you can kind of getits form a little bit.
And it helped me reallytranscend it more and more
because I I realized that if Iname it then it becomes a part
of the tools, it becomes a part,it becomes the error, another
arrow in my quiver.
So I get nervous every singletime and I say say to myself oh,
there it is, there's nervous,got it, there's nervous.
Tim Newman (31:07):
That's all I got it Now we can move forward.
Cesar Cardona (31:09):
Now I can, yeah.
And again, I really want tospecify the goal is not to get
rid of nerves.
It's not to get rid of nerves.
It heightens you.
It keeps your awareness alittle up.
Your, your, your skin is alittle heightened to what's
going on.
You're a little more poised.
But you got to recognize it andthen amalgamate it and use it.
Tim Newman (31:28):
Yeah, I tend to agree with you there.
You know, the whole idea forfor me is it's because I care,
because I want, I want to, Iwant to do well, I want, I want
to be able to convey the message.
I want I want my audience to beable to, to hear the, hear the
messaging and and get somethingout of the message, whatever it
is that I'm talking about, andand I I think it's like anything
(31:50):
else Um, you know, I come from,come from the sport industry,
and even if you talk to, to the,you know the, the elite
athletes, they get nervous whenthey go out and play and if, if,
if they get nervous and canstill perform at that high level
, I think again, go, go back toboth things can be right.
(32:12):
Right, if they can do it andstill perform at a high level,
it's okay for, it's okay for meto do it, to have it Absolutely.
Cesar Cardona (32:24):
And still go out and perform.
Absolutely those people, thosehigh-working athletes, the
high-tier athletes they haveover you, over me, over anybody
listening at this moment.
Right now they have more time.
They've had more time andpotential experience and
(32:44):
potential access to assistanceto getting those things.
Those are all three things thatyou could eventually get,
without question.
What's more is that they'respecified in that one thing they
do really well.
And everybody has at least onething they do really well.
Everybody has at least onething they do really well, right
?
So knowing that they getnervous lets you know you are in
(33:09):
accord with the way it'ssupposed to be.
Your job is to be your versionof that top athlete If it's
being the top mathematician, ifit's being the top janitor, if
it's being the top car salesman,whatever it is, be kind and
true with it and don't stop.
As long as you're kind and true, you'll recognize that you can
(33:32):
become the best version ofyourself.
But you got to make sure thatnervousness is always there with
you and see it and put yourhands around it yeah, it's, it's
, it's so, so important and leaninto your, to lean into who you
are being.
Tim Newman (33:49):
just just embrace it and and and go with it.
Let's talk a little bit aboutstorytelling in, in terms of, of
, of public speaking or evenjust regular communication,
because I, I think that, uh, II'm going to use air fingers,
quote storytelling now, becauseI think that I think it's a
(34:14):
buzzword, but it's somethingthat we've we as humans, have
done our entire life.
Cesar Cardona (34:18):
It's the beginning of our ability to
communicate with each other.
Before we even had words, wepainted on caves.
Tim Newman (34:23):
Yes, and now it's, it's, it's become a way for us
to talk about how we talk, ortalk about how we communicate,
and, and that's fine, I don't.
I don't have a problem with thatbut sometimes we think, or or
it's presented as we have tohave some, some grand, grand,
triumphant story.
I love that.
(34:43):
I love that you're saying that,yep, and it doesn't have to be,
it's.
I mean, just tell your story.
I mean, you know what?
I went to the store yesterday,got a flat tire, had to change a
flat tire.
Some guys stopped to help me.
He picked up some lug nuts forme and I really appreciate it.
We're going to go play golfnext week.
You know what I mean it.
We're gonna go play golf nextweek.
(35:05):
You know what I mean?
Cesar Cardona (35:07):
that that's a story, I mean it's it's you know
, that's really all it is, yeah.
Yeah, let's not forget thatstories can just be open-ended.
They can end and make theperson wonder yeah, you can just
be asking a question with astory, right, I mean, they're so
like, what is that story of?
The the um, the um?
The monk with the monk in theboat is one I tell a lot when I
do talks about anger.
This monk goes into a boat tomeditate.
(35:28):
This Buddhist monk Goes into alake, sits in the boat, goes to
meditate Someone.
He closes his eyes.
Someone bumps into the boat.
He's a little rocked.
He opens his.
He keeps his eyes closed, buthe takes a breath and he resets
and goes back to meditating andthen they bump into his boat
again.
He's a little agitated thistime, but he resets, keeps his
(35:49):
eyes closed, meditates, and thenthey bump into his boat a third
time.
This time he's annoyed so heopens his eyes, he turns around
to go, yell at the personbumping into him and he realizes
the boat is empty.
The wake of the lake had beenpushing the boat against his.
So the question is in this story, whose anger was that?
I'm not giving any answer there.
(36:12):
The response person.
You know you can leave thesestories wide open, and stories
are a gathering of words, andwords are the candlelight to the
cave of our minds.
If you put those words togetherright, it won't be a
candlelight, it'll be a blazingfire, and if you condense that
(36:33):
well enough, then it'll beelectricity and that will light
your way consistently.
One of the best things I'velearned in my life was the fact
that storytelling can get usacross more, more than any data,
any science, any facts you canbring.
You can appeal and and you canappeal to somebody and affect
(36:53):
them and activate them way morewith stories than you will.
Data Data's amazing, butstories will get the job done.
Tim Newman (37:01):
It's.
It's it's the ultimateconnector.
It's it's the ultimate, youknow, relationship builder.
It's the.
It's what.
It's the ultimate connector,it's the ultimate relationship
builder, it's what binds ustogether.
I mean, again going back tosome of the things we've already
talked about, you know, andwith where we are from.
Let's just take AI, for example.
I mean everything is AI today,right, but I don't care what
(37:24):
business or industry you're in.
It's all going to come back topersonal interaction, personal
relationships 100%.
Cesar Cardona (37:30):
I have a certification in AI and using AI
.
I got one a couple of weeks agoand you find out pretty quickly
that it's our job to have theinformation you can put it in
through there.
See AI as a thought partner andyou got to make the choice when
it comes back out.
Tim Newman (37:46):
Yeah, yeah there, see ai as a thought partner and
you got to make the choice whenit comes back out, yeah, yeah.
So I mean, take, take the timeto to develop personal
relationships, take the time toto make connections.
You know, I, I go back to,let's go back, go back to when
you went to the conference.
Um, I, I think that one thingthat people also need to
(38:07):
understand is the power ofquestions in communication.
I think questions is somethingthat helps deepen conversations,
it helps deepen connections, ithelps deepen relationships.
Cesar Cardona (38:23):
Yeah, and asking questions is tied into something
you also said earlier, which isa really good point the
listening.
Yes, the listening is superimportant.
I am a speaker, public speaker.
My job is literally to talk,and I find that very often, the
more I listen, the moreeffective can be.
(38:43):
I gave a talk about a month orso ago and it was one of the
best ones I felt that I did andthe audience was amazing and it
was a lot of people in there atleast a lot for me and this
gentleman walked up to meafterwards, after all the people
left.
He said could I talk to you fora little bit?
(39:04):
I said, yeah, sure, of course Iwant to.
He said I want to talk to youabout Buddhism.
We sit into one of theconference rooms, just he and I
closed the door and we startedtalking about Buddhism and then
at some point he just wouldn'tstop going.
He was talking and talking, andtalking, and talking, and
talking and talking, and Irealized I want to get a point
in here what he's saying.
And then at some point Irealized no, he just needs to
(39:28):
get it out Right and he would goand go and he tied all of these
concepts into his personal life.
And then in the end he lookedat me and says I want to hug you
, but I don't know you enough.
And I looked at him.
I said you can hug me, it'savailable to you.
I stand up.
He stands up, we hug, and thenhe cries in my shoulder Wow, I
(39:54):
didn't say anything.
I listened, I listened, I gavemy ears rather than my mouth, I
listened to what he had to say.
And then, to lead it back towhat you're saying here about
questions, the more you listenactively, realistically, not
waiting to just have your turnto say something the more you
(40:15):
listen, the more that you'll beable to ask the better question,
to make a better connection,and the byproduct of it is you
will actually have better thingsto say.
Anyway, if you take your focusaway from what I should say and
just listen and ask thequestions now, you know that
that that's that's powerfulpoint.
Tim Newman (40:37):
Yeah, I mean that that is that's spot on and
powerful.
Caesar, thank you so much.
Where can people find you, workwith you, hire you to come and
speak?
Cesar Cardona (40:53):
Yeah, so I speak in person.
Of course, I speak online aswell.
I give talks on growth,mindfulness, I speak on and
teach meditation.
With this new certification Now, I also speak and help people
with learning how to use AI fortheir benefit instead of being
scared of it.
Ai is not my opponent, ai is myassistant, and you can find all
(41:22):
that stuff at my website,caesarcardonacom.
I'm sure you'll put that in theshow notes.
Tim Newman (41:27):
Yep, I'll put that in the show notes.
Cesar Cardona (41:28):
Go there, you'll see.
You can sign up to thenewsletter and there's a contact
page.
Every single individual whoreaches out to me I respond to
personally.
I talk to them, I want tolisten to them, I want to know
where you are.
I want to help you find thebest version of yourself,
because there's nothing I'mgiving you.
I'm just helping you find you.
That's awesome.
Tim Newman (41:48):
I'm gonna ask you to do one other thing for me.
How about your band?
Cesar Cardona (41:52):
okay, gotta get your music out there too yeah,
so it's been a little whilesince I've written some music
there, but this music is caesarand the clue.
Caesar is c-e-s-a-r and theword clue is C-L-E-W Caesar and
the clue.
Tim Newman (42:07):
Dude, that's awesome .
I'm so glad we had a chance tocatch up and glad you're able to
share with our audience here.
I'm blown away and so proud ofwhat you're doing and what
you've accomplished in such ashort period of time, and I wish
you all the best.
Cesar Cardona (42:23):
Thank you, Tim.
You are a beautiful man and Iadmire you so much.
Thank you.
Tim Newman (42:29):
Thank you, bud.
Be sure to visitspeakingwithconfidencepodcastcom
to get your free ebook Top 21Challenges for Public Speakers
and how to Overcome them.
You can also register for theForming for Public Speaking
course.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change the world.
We'll talk to you next time,take care.
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, a
podcast that helps you build thesoft skills that lead to real
results Communication,storytelling, public speaking
and showing up with confidencein every conversation that
counts.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide you on your
journey to become a powerfulcommunicator.
I want to thank each and everyone of you for your support.
(00:31):
It truly means the world to me.
If you have questions or if youwant something covered in the
podcast, just send me a message.
Please visit timnewmanspeakscomto get your free e-book the Top
21 Challenges for PublicSpeakers and how to Overcome it.
(00:53):
Today's guest is Cesar Cardona.
Cesar is a public speaker,co-host of the podcast Beauty in
the Break and mindfulnesseducator, certified by Rice
University.
Shaped by his diverseupbringing and profound life
experiences, he inspiresaudiences with stories of
resilience, connection andgrowth.
Cesar's talks weave personalinsights through universal
truths, empowering individualsto embrace inclusion,
(01:18):
mindfulness and the shared humanexperience.
Cesar, I'm so looking forwardto this conversation.
Welcome to the show bud Tim.
Cesar Cardona (01:22):
Thank you so much .
I appreciate you very much.
Thank you for being here withme and thank you for everybody
listening.
Tim Newman (01:28):
You know, we did our pre-interview talk a little bit
ago and we talked a little bitbefore.
We just jumped on here and someof the things we talked about
(01:48):
really go to how we view and seethe world and how we choose to
go and see the world, um, andand and go through life, and
we're going to talk a little, alot about mindfulness and that's
that's really what it is thatwe talked about, um.
But I really want to start withwith your journey.
You have a really unique umstory.
You have a really unique story.
Can you share that?
Cesar Cardona (02:05):
briefly with us.
I can, yeah, I can.
So I was born in Jacksonville,florida.
I live in Los Angeles now forthe last 10 years.
This is my home, go Dodgers.
But my parents were quiteopposite of each other.
My father was a New Yorker anda Spanish man, my mother was a
(02:27):
Floridian and a Black woman, andwhat's more to add into that is
that one of them was aRepublican and the other was a
Democrat.
So I got these dynamic wayspoured into me.
They also didn't really getalong either, so I got a lot of
aggression and friction livingin that household and, to be
(02:48):
honest, it wasn't a goodupbringing.
I'm not there's no really joythere about it, um, but I've
made amends to that.
My parents and I we get alongquite well.
They became better people.
But living with those tworeally different people with
different ways of seeing theworld really had an impact on me
.
Tim Newman (03:09):
So growing up in that environment I mean you, you
I can only imagine the, the,the, the, the, the push, pull,
the, you know the tug shove thatyou're dealing with.
How did, how did that reallykind of shape your, your, your
(03:29):
mentality and growing up and howyou actually see the world and
your resilience to overcome someof trauma?
I don't, I don't know, I don'twant to put words in your mouth,
but but to me it would betrauma, to me it would be, you
know, not really trulyunderstanding um, where you kind
(03:51):
of fit, where you know how, how, how did you, how did you
develop the resiliency to becomewhat you've become today?
Let's just put it that way.
Cesar Cardona (03:59):
Sure you are.
You're using all the rightwords.
By the way, there, 100% wastrauma.
It was endless amount of traumaand a lot of stuff I took with
me as an adult that I neverwanted to take with me, and it
took me a long time to getthrough it.
(04:20):
So go to your question about howI maintain the resilience for
it.
You know it's a question I'llbe probably mulling over for the
rest of my life, right?
But what things I have pickedup on?
Whereas was that, even withthose two parents being so
opposite, both of them arestrong people.
Their one parent is veryresilient and book smart and
very good at followinginstruction and rule, and the
(04:41):
other one is very street smartand very good at innovating and
finding new ways, and I pickedup those also.
So even in that you knowhorrible childhood, there was a
part in me that lived withinthat that just wouldn't let go
of their portion of the reins onthe chariot of my life.
(05:03):
They just wouldn't, and I waslucky enough to hold that with
me wherever and that's a realheady, practical or impractical
way, saying it, to be morepractical about it I just felt
that there was something withinme that I could still tap into,
(05:24):
even at the worst points of mylife, even the times where I
thought I didn't have it.
The resilience comes fromrecognizing the ever change of
time, recognizing that no matterhow bad something is, it
reiterates to something else.
And I started seeing thosepatterns and that mindset and,
without knowing it was going toturn out for the good, I just
(05:46):
kept again riding the change oftime.
I kept being, I kept, I kepttrying to be a better surfer in
the waves of life.
Tim Newman (05:55):
So it's, I enjoy the words that you're using,
because you know it's, it's a,it's a different way of looking
at things, right, I mean, if, ifsomebody on the opposite end of
the spectrum would use verydifferent words to communicate
that, and you're to me, you'reusing, you're using positive
(06:19):
action words, uh, forwardlooking, as opposed to negative
words, looking backwards, yeah,and you know, I, there's all
kinds of quotes out there, but,but, but one that you're that I,
that I hear a lot, is you'reeither getting better or you're
getting worse.
There's no standing still.
(06:39):
You're either moving forward oryou're moving backwards.
There's no standing still.
And I think the people that, uh, I probably admire the most are
the ones that you know can, Iwouldn't say compartmentalize,
but but find ways to moveforward, no matter what is
(07:00):
happening, no matter what'sgoing on around them, whether
it's, you know, bad things forthem, whether it's bad things
for their friends or family, um,uh, trauma, you know finding
ways to to deal with thosethings and move forward without
letting whatever that is holdthem back.
Cesar Cardona (07:18):
Right, yes, yes, I, I, I fundamentally believe.
I fundamentally believe thatevery single thing that happens
in your life, there is some sortof value to learn from it, good
or bad or neutral.
I give talks about growth,mindfulness, and one of the
subject matters are dealing withthe people in your lives who
(07:41):
are the yeah butters right inyour lives, who are the yeah
butters right.
Yeah, but you can't do this.
Yeah, but that's too hard.
Yeah, but you gotta have to paythis money.
Yeah, but you're gonna have to,so on and so forth.
You can, you can, you can buttyourself into a wall.
All you want, right, right,even those people.
There's something from which youcan learn.
At the very least, it'slearning what that, yeah, but
(08:02):
sounds like, so you know how toavoid it.
Bring your own thinking rightat the, and not at the very most
, but at a more dynamic way.
It's learning about why peoplewill say that most people's
giving you, most people tellingyou about the fears you should
worry about, are just their ownfears, their preterite out onto
you.
You know, um, um, so I, I thinkthat that is a lot of what, the
(08:27):
what.
What kept me going was knowingthat every single iteration,
every single moment of lifeoutside my mind and my, my like
living space, my room, or now myapartment or my house or
whatever.
Everything outside of that isis like the bee gathering pollen
.
(08:48):
You're going out gathering.
By every moment, everyexperience is pollen out there.
When you come home, you takethat pollen.
You turn it into honey.
That's how I see most of mylife.
Tim Newman (08:59):
And that's to me, knowing a little bit more of
your story that you share withme privately.
(09:23):
That's perspective tounderstand that everybody has
things that that is going on intheir life that at some point
the only way to move forward isto is to move forward and find
ways to to take those issuesthat are holding us back.
And we're we're just, you know,really, you know, on this
(09:44):
podcast.
We're really just talking abouthow, how we communicate right,
finding ways to, to get overthat that hump, to be able to
communicate and and again.
Not diminishing anybody'sissues here, no way.
Some people have have big,strong issues or things that
hold them back in how theycommunicate, because of, maybe,
how they were brought up.
You don't ever, don't, don't,ever, don't ever ask any
(10:06):
questions.
Don't ever, don't ever.
Look at me that way.
Cesar Cardona (10:16):
Don't ever do these types of things, but we
have to be able to move forward.
Agree, I totally agree it.
For me it's a.
In this case, to to your pointof what you're saying, it's a
two-parter One.
Every single thing that botherssomebody is a valid point.
It's valid because if youbrought it up, that means it's
hitting you at some deeper level, so it's worthy of looking at
and recognizing.
And also, you don't have tolive with that forever.
(10:37):
It's two-sided.
Give it attention.
It's asking for attention, evenif it's something as small as
the pebble in my shoe is makingme angry.
I guarantee you it's not aboutthe pebble.
I guarantee you it's aboutsomething else.
That is in your way that youpull on that thread.
You're going to find morethings.
So validate it and recognizethat.
(11:00):
You can transcend it as well.
You can work through it also.
Tim Newman (11:05):
Yeah, and and it's such a good point that it
doesn't matter what it is, Seekhelp, Ask you know, because you
know what I and I I've beenaccused of of living with rose
colored glasses for forever.
I I generally think people are,are are good.
I, I generally think people are, are are good.
I think people are good.
(11:27):
Yeah, I would agree, Um, and Ithink if you tell somebody that
or you ask somebody, can youhelp me with this, Most of the
time they're going to say yes.
Or if they can't help you,they're going to say sorry, I
can't help you.
They're going to say sorry, Ican't help you for whatever
reason, but but try, this person, a few people are just going to
(11:47):
say no, get out of here you'reright, you're absolutely right,
and anybody listening to thatcan just go test that themselves
.
Cesar Cardona (11:53):
Yeah, quite often , quite often, people will.
They'll give you something andat the very least, they'll
empathetically say they can't.
That is an implication thatthey still care, they're just
just not able to help, right?
I couldn't agree more.
Tim Newman (12:14):
And so finding that strength to ask for help in
whatever it is.
I think that's always the firststep.
Except for, you know, I think Idon't want to get into this too
much there's a video that Iwatch on the regular.
I mean, it's a short minute anda half, two minute video.
It's a guy talking about how,as as men, as men, as grown men,
it's hard for us to makefriends, it's hard for us to
reach out, just because of whatsociety has done and and or what
(12:37):
we've.
We have allowed society to sayis yeah, it's, it's.
Cesar Cardona (12:42):
Do you see that?
Tim Newman (12:43):
Yeah, society to say is is, yeah, it's, it's.
Do you see that?
Yeah, because I I fall intothat trap too.
I'm normal, just like anybodyelse.
Yeah, right.
And he said there, there, weshould have five, five types of
friends, and one of them is isthe type of friend that you can
go to with anything, anything atall, and they, they're only
(13:03):
looking out for what's best foryou, not not about work, not
about a relationship, butthey're talking about you and
how you are how's your heart?
Yeah, but if you don't have oneof those types of friends that
you can go to with those typesof things, you need to find
somebody, because those are thepeople that can really help you
and guide you to get throughsome of these things that we're
(13:27):
going to talk about.
Cesar Cardona (13:29):
You're right.
I mean think of every movie,every story, every book, every,
whatever that person on thatjourney.
At some point they'll meet atleast one helping hand along the
way.
Typically they find a group ofpeople, the allies right, the
fun and games that they findtogether and those people don't
carry our, our lead characterright.
(13:51):
They don't pick them on theirshoulders and say, all right, we
got you, we'll take it.
That's not how it works.
Everybody goes together, so youare accountable for your own
journey and your friend willhelp you clear the way, the same
manner in which they'reaccountable for theirs and you
help them clear the way.
I give this.
Whenever I get to a topic,while I'm speaking to a company
(14:15):
or whatever, or school, if Istart talking about leaning on
friends, I almost always go tothe fact that not one time did I
see in the Wizard of Oz,dorothy be carried by the Tin
man, the Lion, the Scared Girlor any other version of that,
(14:35):
because they all had to go andwalk it together.
Now they did help each otheralong the way, that's the point,
but you also got to walk thatthing too, and it's two-sided.
And to go back to something wesaid a minute ago or a little
earlier, is you and I are atthis point in our lives now
where we kind of have thisperhaps clearer way of seeing
things, knowing that twoopposites can be true at the
(14:58):
same time, knowing that thevalue is within us, not without
us, not externally all of thesethings.
That's also for me personally,not saying that I didn't go
through those negative times,not saying I didn't go through
those moments of where mypositive framework of it was not
there.
(15:19):
I had been very negative for along time.
I had thought the world was outto get me, even if my words
were more optimistic and justshifted and saw this way is that
, wait, hang on here.
What is something that I can do?
What is something that I can dobecause I know I'm in control
of these things?
And then how do I, little bylittle, release the deep
(15:41):
grasping of expectation that Ihave on other people and other
scenarios?
Because I can't account forthat.
I can't be held responsible forthose things, and the
circumstances of why somebody isor isn't to me is not something
that I could ever fathom.
(16:02):
Think about how many timesyou've heard someone say about
another person oh, this persondid A because they are B, right,
oh well, they cut me offbecause they're jerks, or they
didn't answer my call becausethey're selfish, whatever.
Whatever it is, the moment thatsame person has to tell you
(16:22):
about why they chose to dosomething.
They're going to give you allthe scenarios and the situations
and the circumstances why theymake that choice, and that is
the more clearer picture,because they experienced all the
circumstances, right, right, solet's make sure we give those
same circumstances to the otherpeople as well.
And that's how I got to thispoint of saying wait a minute,
(16:45):
wait a minute.
I'm.
I'm doing something a little.
I'm misstepping right here.
I am giving all myself thegrace for reasons why something
doesn't work and then pointingit out to everyone else, but
that's not it.
Let me turn over and make alittle more accountability for
myself.
Tim Newman (16:59):
Yeah, yeah, and we'll get into accountability a
little bit, a little bit later,because I do think
accountability, or personalaccountability, is something
that we, we, we need to do abetter job of.
But I want to talk about somemore positive things first, you
know you, your your publicspeaking journey is relatively
(17:21):
new.
Yeah, how did it happen for you?
Because, again, your story isfascinating to me because it
doesn't generally happen thatway.
It doesn't.
I mean, I'll let you tell thestory because you know it's your
(17:41):
story, but I, it's fascinating,I love it because it it's it
number one, it's real, it it'sum, it's, and it's
transformational because it canhappen.
When I say it doesn't happen,it doesn't, doesn't mean that I
can't, because it does, ithappens.
You, and I know it's happenedto others.
You know you, you, you, just,you just find something that
(18:04):
that kind of goes off and says,wow, this is it, this is this is
it, this is what I've beenlooking for.
Cesar Cardona (18:11):
Yeah, yeah, dude, you're so on point with that
point, with that, with thatobservation there's still to
this moment.
I'm like can you believe this?
I saw an old friend that Ihadn't seen in a little while.
Yesterday we went to lunch andhe's like how are you?
And I said okay, this is what'sgoing on.
And I just ran down all thesestories and he's looking at me
(18:32):
like what?
And I go, I don't know.
I don't know.
And technically I do know.
I spent the time, I focused andso on.
I followed my bliss.
I followed the thing tocorrigeless of camp, follow your
bliss.
I followed the thing thatactivated me, that vitalized me,
that made me feel more alivethan ever, and I followed that
consistently.
And then, of course, with thevigilance and the patience and
(18:54):
the endurance, things show up.
And again, here's that, andword instead of but, and these
doors just start opening upwhere they used to just be walls
.
I'm like what is going on,right?
so to answer your question I hadno thought about being a public
(19:16):
speaker.
It was not, not in my thoughts,it wasn't in my realm.
I didn't even it never occurredto me to be a public speaker,
not one time.
And I'll double down on thatand say that two Buddhist
temples that I had been a partof some years ago they both had
asked me would you like to talkfor one of the services?
I said sure, I put somethingtogether and talked about it and
(19:38):
I never thought about it again.
That's how much I didn't thinkabout it.
I literally did it.
I was standing on a whale beingupset because I couldn't find
any minnows.
Really want to set that tone forthat?
Because I've quoted josephcampbell before earlier.
(20:00):
What 10, 10 seconds ago?
I love joseph campbell, if any.
If you listening here don'tknow who that is, I highly
recommend checking him out,checking him out directly.
Don't necessarily look at whatpeople talk about him, because
they've concised it down to onething which is beautiful.
It's a beautiful thing, butthere's so much more that he
talks about and he's renownedand amazing in so many ways, but
(20:22):
there's just so much more isthe point I'm making.
So I love his teaching, I lovehow he goes about life.
He talks about the commonthread that connects all of us,
from stories to mythology, toreligion, to social tales, to
modern day, to movies, to film,to our real, personal,
day-to-day life.
There's a common narrative thathappens for all of us, right?
(20:45):
And he broke that down intowhat it means symbolically.
So, anyway, I find at somepoint that in where I live in
Los Angeles, there is a JosephCampbell round table and it's
comprised of people who are fansof his.
He died in 1987.
They get together and there's aspeaker for the event.
(21:05):
I was invited to go to thisevent and the speaker was
someone who knew Joseph Campbellfor two decades.
He passed away in 1987, so Iwasn't even born yet, but this
woman knew him for two decadesand she was now a storyteller
and she taught in colleges onmixing movies with myth and so
on.
Her name is Rebecca Armstrong.
(21:26):
She's a wonderful, brilliantwoman, because when I was
sitting there listening to hertalk, I am enamored with what
she was saying.
Like I said, I'm like thiswoman is wonderful and brilliant
.
She finishes her talk.
I'm just there as a participant.
There's like 40 or 50 of us.
She starts speaking, she saysdoes anybody have any questions
(21:49):
and one woman stands up and thiswoman stands up and says a
couple of compliments and thenanother gentleman raises his
hand and he stands up and asks aquestion.
They kind of go back and fortha little bit and then I raise my
hand and I point out some ofthe things that she said that
stood out to me that I have beenusing in my life.
(22:12):
Primarily she was talking abouta thread that's used in a lot of
culture stories and I know thatin mythology the thread in
Greek mythology is known as aclue C-L-E-W and it's used in
the story of Theseus and theMinotaur and so on and so forth.
I broke down the metaphor forwhat it meant to me and then
(22:32):
told her that I started my musicgroup called Caesar and the
Clue C-L-E-W because the threadis the symbol that connects us
with the rest of the world.
The labyrinth in the movie, thedungeon, the cave, the
underwater, whatever it is yousee in films, is symbolic for
you going in your own mind andfighting your own monsters, and
(22:53):
the thread connects you back outto the world.
And we do that now because wehave things like communication,
the internet, a thread right,the search of string theory and
physics.
We do these all day.
So I called my band Caesar andthe Clue.
And then she goes stop rightthere.
And then she turns to everyoneand says did you see what he did
?
He took the story, found themetaphor, understood the symbol,
(23:17):
applied it to his life and thenapplied it to the bigger, the
larger life of everybodyincluded, and then honored it.
She said that is genius.
You, sir, are a genius.
Now I don't necessarily agreewith that phrasing, but everyone
turns to look at me and I'msweating bullets now because I
didn't have a desire to want to.
I didn't want to be a genius.
(23:38):
Yeah, come on, I and I.
To this day I'm still like Idon't know about all that stuff.
But listen, I'm just here, youknow.
So then she says she says that.
And then she looks over to meand says you should be standing
here speaking.
And then she turns to the womanwho hosts the event and points
to me and says there is yournext speaker.
And I am flabbergasted because,again, not what I came there
(24:07):
for.
The end of the talk comes, I gowalk up to her and I say to her
thank you for saying all that.
I'm super nervous about that.
But she said if you want tospeak here, I could set you up.
I said I would love that, but Idon't know anything about that.
I'm just here.
She said take my phone number,I'll mentor you.
(24:28):
She lives near Chicago and shesaid I'll mentor you.
So from there she startedmentoring me and being a public
speaker.
Tim Newman (24:38):
All of this, by the way is just over a year ago.
Cesar Cardona (24:43):
It's nuts, it's nuts, it's absolutely nuts dude.
So, to condense the story alittle quicker living in Los
Angeles, it's very competitiveand it's easy for somebody to
want to hire a public speakerwho has experience, rather than
some guy with curly hair who hasno experience in public
speaking.
So what I did was I went and Irented a space, I invited 30 of
(25:08):
my friends and I built a talk ona topic that I want to talk
about.
My girlfriend, who used to be afilm director.
She set up two cameras for meand they were iPhone cameras, so
there wasn't, like you know,fancy cameras Shot those.
We recorded it.
I chopped those videos up andthen started shopping them out
to places and said I recentlygave a talk here.
(25:29):
I'd love to give a talk to youthe same manner.
That was june of 2024.
Maybe I shouldn't date theepisode here, but that was in.
I've already said it and bythat September I got my first
paying gig.
It has been less than that, ayear's time and I've had 15
(25:52):
paying gigs 15.
I am baffled by it and I'm theone experiencing it, I'm the one
putting it out there and doingthe effort, and still I'm like
what, what is going on and mygoodness.
But ultimately, to wrap this up, I'm ever grateful for it and
I'm ever humbled for it, and myjob is to not get stuck into the
(26:14):
congratulatory.
See it, see it as a sign ofwhat you're doing is correct,
and then get back to focusing onthe road to focusing on the
road, right?
Tim Newman (26:24):
Well, I think what you're doing is phenomenal.
I love the story.
I love you know, within thatstory there's so much that can
be unpacked, right.
There's so much that otherpeople can learn from.
Okay, now I mean, let's takeaway your upbringing, let's just
focus on going to thatconference.
Right, you went to thatconference to and I'm just I'm
(26:48):
putting words in your mouth hereyou went to that conference to
hear the speaker, maybe, maybeto learn something, maybe
interact with with those peoplethat that were there.
But you, you learned before you, before you even got there, you
had, you had a, a, uh, aninterest in that topic.
(27:08):
You had an interest in him andand his and his work, and his,
his thinking, his movies, allthose types of things, um and so
things don't just happen likethat.
So you don't you're not justgoing to walk into a conference
and expect that to happen.
And then you took what was said, you listened, you put
(27:36):
everything together and thenshared that you had to have some
gumption to stand up and share,where most people today aren't
going to do that.
That's even even even in thatgroup of people, that that was
there.
How many other people stood up?
Cesar Cardona (27:53):
true, true, very true.
Apparently, speaking publiclyis like the top three scariest
things and and and.
Tim Newman (28:01):
Even you said I mean , you were sweating bullets, you
were, you were nervous, but butyou took that step.
Remember when we talked about,as we started, this you're
either moving forward or you'removing backwards.
You have to find ways to to dothe things that have you.
Do you still get nervous?
Had, did you figure out why youwere so nervous?
(28:30):
I mean, this is this is what isreally fascinating to me,
because, you know, my very firsttime Okay, and this is what I
do now I threw up.
Cesar Cardona (28:40):
Whoa.
Tim Newman (28:41):
Whoa yeah, and I still get nervous.
I mean I gave a keynote, Idon't even.
I mean we talked about thisbefore.
Recently I gave a regularpresentation and a keynote in
the same day.
Still nervous, but still did it.
But the first time I ever stoodup in front of people, I threw
up.
Cesar Cardona (29:01):
Yep, I get nervous every time.
Every time I expect the nerves,I anticipate the nerves.
I, I and and I don't care tonot have nerves.
The nerves let me know that I'malive, that I'm paying
attention, that I'm focused.
It lets me know that I care.
(29:22):
If I didn't have the nerves,then I would be lying to myself
about something and and I.
The goal is to transcend it,work with it I'm not trying to
get rid of it.
I've learned over time.
I learned a couple things.
One there is this how do I I'mtrying to make sure I bring this
(29:42):
, make this really concise.
There's a study that shows thatand I'm really breaking, I'm
really making this study reallyconcise that if you are able to
name the fear you're seeing orexperiencing, like name it, then
it makes it from your amygdala,which is very fear, worry-based
, to your prefrontal cortex, thefront of your thoughts, which
(30:03):
is very edity, very editing,very conscious People have shown
in their brains their stresslevels.
If they witness or experiencefear without naming it, their
stress levels go higher.
The moment they think tothemselves oh, fear, it becomes
a little calmer to them becauseyou're recognizing it, you're
putting a shape around it, right?
(30:23):
I remember that study and oneday I was sitting and it was
almost my turn to go up to speakand I felt nervous and I went.
I thought to myself, oh,nervous, that's nervous, I'm
nervous, Okay, and it doesn'tmake it go away, but it does put
a shape around it.
You know, it puts a sheetaround that ghost, ghost, you
(30:45):
know, and you can kind of getits form a little bit.
And it helped me reallytranscend it more and more
because I I realized that if Iname it then it becomes a part
of the tools, it becomes a part,it becomes the error, another
arrow in my quiver.
So I get nervous every singletime and I say say to myself oh,
there it is, there's nervous,got it, there's nervous.
Tim Newman (31:07):
That's all I got it Now we can move forward.
Cesar Cardona (31:09):
Now I can, yeah.
And again, I really want tospecify the goal is not to get
rid of nerves.
It's not to get rid of nerves.
It heightens you.
It keeps your awareness alittle up.
Your, your, your skin is alittle heightened to what's
going on.
You're a little more poised.
But you got to recognize it andthen amalgamate it and use it.
Tim Newman (31:28):
Yeah, I tend to agree with you there.
You know, the whole idea forfor me is it's because I care,
because I want, I want to, Iwant to do well, I want, I want
to be able to convey the message.
I want I want my audience to beable to, to hear the, hear the
messaging and and get somethingout of the message, whatever it
is that I'm talking about, andand I I think it's like anything
(31:50):
else Um, you know, I come from,come from the sport industry,
and even if you talk to, to the,you know the, the elite
athletes, they get nervous whenthey go out and play and if, if,
if they get nervous and canstill perform at that high level
, I think again, go, go back toboth things can be right.
(32:12):
Right, if they can do it andstill perform at a high level,
it's okay for, it's okay for meto do it, to have it Absolutely.
Cesar Cardona (32:24):
And still go out and perform.
Absolutely those people, thosehigh-working athletes, the
high-tier athletes they haveover you, over me, over anybody
listening at this moment.
Right now they have more time.
They've had more time andpotential experience and
(32:44):
potential access to assistanceto getting those things.
Those are all three things thatyou could eventually get,
without question.
What's more is that they'respecified in that one thing they
do really well.
And everybody has at least onething they do really well.
Everybody has at least onething they do really well, right
?
So knowing that they getnervous lets you know you are in
(33:09):
accord with the way it'ssupposed to be.
Your job is to be your versionof that top athlete If it's
being the top mathematician, ifit's being the top janitor, if
it's being the top car salesman,whatever it is, be kind and
true with it and don't stop.
As long as you're kind and true, you'll recognize that you can
(33:32):
become the best version ofyourself.
But you got to make sure thatnervousness is always there with
you and see it and put yourhands around it yeah, it's, it's
, it's so, so important and leaninto your, to lean into who you
are being.
Tim Newman (33:49):
just just embrace it and and and go with it.
Let's talk a little bit aboutstorytelling in, in terms of, of
, of public speaking or evenjust regular communication,
because I, I think that, uh, II'm going to use air fingers,
quote storytelling now, becauseI think that I think it's a
(34:14):
buzzword, but it's somethingthat we've we as humans, have
done our entire life.
Cesar Cardona (34:18):
It's the beginning of our ability to
communicate with each other.
Before we even had words, wepainted on caves.
Tim Newman (34:23):
Yes, and now it's, it's, it's become a way for us
to talk about how we talk, ortalk about how we communicate,
and, and that's fine, I don't.
I don't have a problem with thatbut sometimes we think, or or
it's presented as we have tohave some, some grand, grand,
triumphant story.
I love that.
(34:43):
I love that you're saying that,yep, and it doesn't have to be,
it's.
I mean, just tell your story.
I mean, you know what?
I went to the store yesterday,got a flat tire, had to change a
flat tire.
Some guys stopped to help me.
He picked up some lug nuts forme and I really appreciate it.
We're going to go play golfnext week.
You know what I mean it.
We're gonna go play golf nextweek.
(35:05):
You know what I mean?
Cesar Cardona (35:07):
that that's a story, I mean it's it's you know
, that's really all it is, yeah.
Yeah, let's not forget thatstories can just be open-ended.
They can end and make theperson wonder yeah, you can just
be asking a question with astory, right, I mean, they're so
like, what is that story of?
The the um, the um?
The monk with the monk in theboat is one I tell a lot when I
do talks about anger.
This monk goes into a boat tomeditate.
(35:28):
This Buddhist monk Goes into alake, sits in the boat, goes to
meditate Someone.
He closes his eyes.
Someone bumps into the boat.
He's a little rocked.
He opens his.
He keeps his eyes closed, buthe takes a breath and he resets
and goes back to meditating andthen they bump into his boat
again.
He's a little agitated thistime, but he resets, keeps his
(35:49):
eyes closed, meditates, and thenthey bump into his boat a third
time.
This time he's annoyed so heopens his eyes, he turns around
to go, yell at the personbumping into him and he realizes
the boat is empty.
The wake of the lake had beenpushing the boat against his.
So the question is in this story, whose anger was that?
I'm not giving any answer there.
(36:12):
The response person.
You know you can leave thesestories wide open, and stories
are a gathering of words, andwords are the candlelight to the
cave of our minds.
If you put those words togetherright, it won't be a
candlelight, it'll be a blazingfire, and if you condense that
(36:33):
well enough, then it'll beelectricity and that will light
your way consistently.
One of the best things I'velearned in my life was the fact
that storytelling can get usacross more, more than any data,
any science, any facts you canbring.
You can appeal and and you canappeal to somebody and affect
(36:53):
them and activate them way morewith stories than you will.
Data Data's amazing, butstories will get the job done.
Tim Newman (37:01):
It's.
It's it's the ultimateconnector.
It's it's the ultimate, youknow, relationship builder.
It's the.
It's what.
It's the ultimate connector,it's the ultimate relationship
builder, it's what binds ustogether.
I mean, again going back tosome of the things we've already
talked about, you know, andwith where we are from.
Let's just take AI, for example.
I mean everything is AI today,right, but I don't care what
(37:24):
business or industry you're in.
It's all going to come back topersonal interaction, personal
relationships 100%.
Cesar Cardona (37:30):
I have a certification in AI and using AI
.
I got one a couple of weeks agoand you find out pretty quickly
that it's our job to have theinformation you can put it in
through there.
See AI as a thought partner andyou got to make the choice when
it comes back out.
Tim Newman (37:46):
Yeah, yeah there, see ai as a thought partner and
you got to make the choice whenit comes back out, yeah, yeah.
So I mean, take, take the timeto to develop personal
relationships, take the time toto make connections.
You know, I, I go back to,let's go back, go back to when
you went to the conference.
Um, I, I think that one thingthat people also need to
(38:07):
understand is the power ofquestions in communication.
I think questions is somethingthat helps deepen conversations,
it helps deepen connections, ithelps deepen relationships.
Cesar Cardona (38:23):
Yeah, and asking questions is tied into something
you also said earlier, which isa really good point the
listening.
Yes, the listening is superimportant.
I am a speaker, public speaker.
My job is literally to talk,and I find that very often, the
more I listen, the moreeffective can be.
(38:43):
I gave a talk about a month orso ago and it was one of the
best ones I felt that I did andthe audience was amazing and it
was a lot of people in there atleast a lot for me and this
gentleman walked up to meafterwards, after all the people
left.
He said could I talk to you fora little bit?
(39:04):
I said, yeah, sure, of course Iwant to.
He said I want to talk to youabout Buddhism.
We sit into one of theconference rooms, just he and I
closed the door and we startedtalking about Buddhism and then
at some point he just wouldn'tstop going.
He was talking and talking, andtalking, and talking, and
talking and talking, and Irealized I want to get a point
in here what he's saying.
And then at some point Irealized no, he just needs to
(39:28):
get it out Right and he would goand go and he tied all of these
concepts into his personal life.
And then in the end he lookedat me and says I want to hug you
, but I don't know you enough.
And I looked at him.
I said you can hug me, it'savailable to you.
I stand up.
He stands up, we hug, and thenhe cries in my shoulder Wow, I
(39:54):
didn't say anything.
I listened, I listened, I gavemy ears rather than my mouth, I
listened to what he had to say.
And then, to lead it back towhat you're saying here about
questions, the more you listenactively, realistically, not
waiting to just have your turnto say something the more you
(40:15):
listen, the more that you'll beable to ask the better question,
to make a better connection,and the byproduct of it is you
will actually have better thingsto say.
Anyway, if you take your focusaway from what I should say and
just listen and ask thequestions now, you know that
that that's that's powerfulpoint.
Tim Newman (40:37):
Yeah, I mean that that is that's spot on and
powerful.
Caesar, thank you so much.
Where can people find you, workwith you, hire you to come and
speak?
Cesar Cardona (40:53):
Yeah, so I speak in person.
Of course, I speak online aswell.
I give talks on growth,mindfulness, I speak on and
teach meditation.
With this new certification Now, I also speak and help people
with learning how to use AI fortheir benefit instead of being
scared of it.
Ai is not my opponent, ai is myassistant, and you can find all
(41:22):
that stuff at my website,caesarcardonacom.
I'm sure you'll put that in theshow notes.
Tim Newman (41:27):
Yep, I'll put that in the show notes.
Cesar Cardona (41:28):
Go there, you'll see.
You can sign up to thenewsletter and there's a contact
page.
Every single individual whoreaches out to me I respond to
personally.
I talk to them, I want tolisten to them, I want to know
where you are.
I want to help you find thebest version of yourself,
because there's nothing I'mgiving you.
I'm just helping you find you.
That's awesome.
Tim Newman (41:48):
I'm gonna ask you to do one other thing for me.
How about your band?
Cesar Cardona (41:52):
okay, gotta get your music out there too yeah,
so it's been a little whilesince I've written some music
there, but this music is caesarand the clue.
Caesar is c-e-s-a-r and theword clue is C-L-E-W Caesar and
the clue.
Tim Newman (42:07):
Dude, that's awesome .
I'm so glad we had a chance tocatch up and glad you're able to
share with our audience here.
I'm blown away and so proud ofwhat you're doing and what
you've accomplished in such ashort period of time, and I wish
you all the best.
Cesar Cardona (42:23):
Thank you, Tim.
You are a beautiful man and Iadmire you so much.
Thank you.
Tim Newman (42:29):
Thank you, bud.
Be sure to visitspeakingwithconfidencepodcastcom
to get your free ebook Top 21Challenges for Public Speakers
and how to Overcome them.
You can also register for theForming for Public Speaking
course.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change the world.
We'll talk to you next time,take care.
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