August 11, 2025 • 42 mins
Have you ever found yourself feeling unfulfilled at work and wondered if it’s really possible to find both purpose and confidence in your career? If so, you’re not alone, and today’s episode of Speaking with Confidence may have the answers you’ve been searching for.
On this episode, I welcome Danielle Droitsch, an executive and leadership coach who helps high-achieving professionals rediscover their superpowers, reclaim well-being, and approach their work with confidence and purpose. Danielle’s story is one so many of us can relate to: after building a successful career as a senior leader at a nonprofit, she experienced burnout that changed her perspective on career satisfaction and life itself. Now, she helps others create the fulfilling work experiences they deserve.
Here’s what we covered in today’s episode:
- Danielle’s personal journey from burnout to a fulfilling second career
- The emotional signals (like boredom and irritability) that indicate something deeper is off in your work life
- How to separate your job from your identity and why that matters
- The importance of asking “Who am I?” and how to start finding your unique superpower
- Insights from new research on human flourishing and why young people are struggling
- The role of real, in-person connection for well-being
- Practical steps for unplugging, reconnecting with yourself, and finding what truly energizes you
- Why soft skills (communication, problem-solving, impact) drive both advancement and confidence
- Common pitfalls for young professionals and students and how to avoid them
- The link between self-awareness, confidence, and showing up authentically in every aspect of life
Whether you’re in the middle of a career transition, supporting young people, or simply looking to feel more confident at work, this episode offers relatable stories, actionable insights, and the encouragement to step back, reassess, and reconnect with yourself and others.
To connect with Danielle, check out time4wellbeing.com (that’s “four” as the number!), and look for her free training on finding fulfilling work.
Want to be a guest on Speaking With Confidence? Send Tim Newman a message on PodMatch
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Tim Newman (00:10):
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, the
podcast that helps you build thesoft skills that lead to real
results Communication,storytelling, public speaking
and showing up with confidencein every conversation that
counts.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide you on your
journey to become a powerfulcommunicator.
Today's guest is DanielleDroitsch.
(00:31):
She's an executive andleadership coach, empowering
high-achieving professionals todiscover their superpowers, love
their work, lead confidentlyand achieve the well-being they
deserve.
She believes it's possible tolove your career and achieve the
well-being they deserve.
She believes it's possible tolove your career, yet many
remain disengaged.
Nine years ago, as a seniorleader at a nonprofit, danielle
(00:55):
experienced burnout.
Overcoming this transformed herapproach to work.
Since then, she has helpedhundreds regain confidence in
their careers, often misled bymyths about career success.
Her mission is to help peopleuncover their secret sauce to
feeling successful and energizedat work.
Danielle develops strategicplans with clients to transform
careers into fulfillingpurposeful experiences, while
(01:15):
prioritizing well-being.
Danielle, welcome to the show.
I'm really excited for thisconversation with you today.
Danielle Droitsch (01:24):
Me too.
Tim Newman (01:24):
Tim, Thank you so much for having me.
Oh, no worries, you know wehave a lot in common, a lot in
common.
You know, we were both in ourcareers for a long time and you
know, at some point we both feltjust completely unfulfilled
professionally.
What was that like for you, andhow did, did you?
How do you figure it out to getwhere you are today?
Danielle Droitsch (01:47):
Yeah.
So it's really a good questionto ask, like, what was I feeling
?
Because it was now almost adecade ago.
I mean, it was going on for acouple of years.
I mean I finally pulled thetrigger and did some things 10
years ago.
I probably started 15 years agoand I found myself constantly
(02:08):
looking for, like, what should Ibe doing?
Like it was more just, I was ina search zone and I was going
to work every day, but I and andit wasn't that my head a
terrible job, in fact.
I mean, the job was just fineit was.
I was feeling something wasmissing.
(02:28):
That's the best way to describeit.
Something was missing for me,and I didn't know what it was.
I just knew that sometimes Iwas really bored at work,
sometimes I got really irritablewith the very, very small
things.
I went feeling impatient.
There's just all these little,you know, sort of emotional
(02:50):
indicators.
But I kept thinking, well,maybe I just should make a
change, some sort of careerchange, which ultimately I did,
but I had no idea what thatchange should be.
So I just kept researching andresearching, going down, you
know, endless Google searchpaths and, you know, eventually
I figured it out.
(03:10):
But that's kind of how I wasfeeling for a couple of years at
least.
Tim Newman (03:16):
Yeah, it's.
You know there's, there's somany common themes there and,
you know, I felt really kind ofthe same ways, you know, and and
my wife kept saying, well, whatis it that you want to do, what
is it that you want to do?
And well, I'm I don't know,because we our lives get so
wrapped up in our jobs and thatbecomes who we are and that's
really.
And the reality is, that's notwho we are, it's what we do.
Danielle Droitsch (03:37):
Yes.
Oh you just said the rightthing.
Tim Newman (03:39):
Yes, we spent so much time there and it was, like
you know, for me she keptsaying what do you want to do?
What do you want to do?
I don't know, I don't know, Idon't know.
And you know, I tried a lot ofthings and I got a lot of new
hobbies, a lot of things that Ireally enjoy now.
Podcasting is actually one ofthem and obviously that's become
part of my new career.
(04:00):
But finding that, that thingthat really inspired me to um,
to get back to what what it waswhen I first started my career
was was, wasn't easy and it didtake it took me about five years
(04:21):
for whatever reason.
Danielle Droitsch (04:22):
You're not alone, it did.
It takes when people start tofeel something's missing or
something's not right, or youknow, there's lots of different
ways, a lot of different wordsor phrases people use.
But, and sometimes we startwith focusing on the like it's
my boss, it's my job, you know,like like we externalize it.
But then you kind of eventuallyfigure out wait, I kind of
fixed that thing and it stilldidn't get better, whatever it
(04:45):
is.
So you start to realize thatit's something about you.
It's nothing wrong with you,but it's simply it's within you.
The answer is within you, andhearing you talk a little bit
about your experience, tim,makes me realize.
You know, at the end of the day, sure, what we do every day
does matter I mean, that's kindof what our lives are but it's
(05:09):
not who you are.
Your job is not who you are.
So it really begins with thisquestion who are you?
Who are you?
Yeah, and that's a toughquestion.
Tim Newman (05:19):
It is and as we get into this, I really kind of hope
that you know we can help, youknow the younger generations
figure this out a lot sooner.
Not that we didn't have itfigured out, but it took so long
for us to make that change ormake that adjustment.
And not that we should makesnap decisions, but you know
five years is a long time to beunhappy.
Danielle Droitsch (05:41):
Yeah.
Tim Newman (05:42):
Or to be unfulfilled , especially when we're doing,
when this part of our life takesup so much of our life, you
know.
You know, in our pre-call.
You know, you told me a storyabout how, the first time that
you said that you, somebody toldyou that somebody else told you
that you were extraordinary assomething, and to me that was
such a powerful story.
(06:03):
Can you share that, Because Ithink that's really the essence
of what I think our listenersreally need to hear.
Danielle Droitsch (06:10):
Yeah, I'm not sure what my story was.
Maybe give me a little it was.
Tim Newman (06:14):
You know you were.
You were good at being a lawyer.
You were you were good at doingyour, your, your previous
career, previous profession.
But nobody ever told you youwere extraordinary, until you
became a coach.
Danielle Droitsch (06:27):
Yes, yes, yes , yes, so, yeah.
So I've been trained as anenvironmental lawyer, so, you
know, working on the protectionof our environment and had been
doing that in the policy spaceand the legal space for many
decades and I'd always hadlooked at myself as good at it,
you know, maybe really good.
But you know the accolades Ididn't really get sort of wow,
(06:52):
you're amazing at this.
Like never heard that.
But I did get sort of, you know, I kept getting promotions and
I kept getting, you know therewould be other accolades, other
measures of success, like Imight get published somewhere,
invited to a conference, sothat's sort of how I was sort of
rolling for a really long timebut I never heard these words.
(07:13):
And then, you know, fastforward through my entire
transition and I became, youknow, executive coach and where
I'm coaching leaders andprofessionals to sort of help
them be successful in theirroles, and that's in a
one-to-one setting, it's not infront of a whole bunch of people
, it's just really askingpowerful questions and helping
(07:34):
people sort of discover forthemselves what the answer is
for them.
And I had done my training.
But I was receiving from myclients these reactions of just
like, you know, effusive, like,wow, you're so good at what you
do.
And they were being they were,you know, through a coaching
(07:58):
session would have these likebig.
You know, ahas, and you know Ican't believe I figured this out
and thank you so much for yourhelp.
But I was getting those againand again and I was like I
really never got that feedbackas a lawyer, you know, maybe I'd
get a pat on the back or goodjob on that presentation, but
never this sort of.
So it kind of made me realizethat, like you know, it took me
(08:23):
a little while to kind of figurethis all out, that I had been
doing what I was good at, butnot where I was strong.
And that's a big thing I dowith my own clients today is
helping people figure out wherethey're strong, which is what
goes back to that question youand I just talked about, like
who are you For me who?
I am is who are you?
For me, who I am is it's not.
(08:45):
I'm a coach.
I mean, yes, I do coach.
Coaching is part of what I do.
You're a podcaster.
You know it's part of what youdo.
But who I am is someone whohelps other people reach their
full potential.
I help them become like thestrongest possible humans and
do-gooders and high-impactpeople that they can be, and
(09:07):
coaching is a means to get todoing that.
But I did not identify myselfas someone who helps someone
else reach their full potentialuntil really in the last 10
years of my career.
Tim Newman (09:17):
And.
Danielle Droitsch (09:18):
I would never have told you that that's what
I was going to do with my career.
Tim Newman (09:22):
Right, and it's it's .
My guess is that that's who youare outside of coaching.
You help people.
You help people in whateveraspect or situation that you're
in.
That's that's what you do,because that's that's kind of
what.
What coaching is, it's kind ofwhat we do all the time.
(09:43):
Anyway, this profession I thinkin education, being a college
professor, or what about themmakes them what is their special
sauce, what is their superpowerEarly.
(10:08):
How much better would theirlife be, both personally and
professionally?
Danielle Droitsch (10:14):
Oh, you, just , yeah, just such an important
question Today.
You know, today, April 30th,when we actually are recording
this a major study came out fromthe Gallup Corporation but it's
not really from the, it's froma whole bunch of universities
together, but it was on.
It's one of the largest studieson human flourishing, this idea
(10:35):
of flourishing.
Flourishing isn't the samething as happiness.
It's.
Flourishing is really theaspect of doing well in multiple
areas of your life.
And the study came out.
And one of the more interestingfindings from the study is that
young people age 18 to 29 aresinking in terms of human
(10:58):
flourishing.
It's a sort of a new aspect ofthe study and there's, of course
, lots of theories about whythat is.
But our young people, uh, youknow, typically when you're
young I mean the old studies orthe prior studies the young
people were high, you know, theywere flourishing, and then
there'd be a sink in theirtwenties and thirties and maybe
(11:19):
forties, and then it would goback up in your fifties, and
this is just a typical sort ofyou.
Tim Newman (11:26):
Right.
Danielle Droitsch (11:27):
But unfortunately, what they're
seeing is that that's actuallydissipating to an extent, and so
young people, when they shouldbe flourishing, are not
flourishing.
Tim Newman (11:39):
That's really interesting because I didn't
expect that at all.
You know, especially when youknow, when we look at well-being
and that's really what you dois well-being of the whole
person.
Up until about maybe five orten years ago, well-being just
really meant our physicalwell-being yes, physical
(12:07):
well-being.
Now, you know, it's really kindof expanded into our emotional
and mental well-being, which Ithink is great and long overdue,
and I think we need moreresources and help in that area.
But when you look at it, fromwhat you just said, the younger
generation they have so muchmore than than we ever did, and
to be unhappy or unfulfilled,that to me is just it's like a
(12:33):
gut punch, because because Imean, when you, when you
describe that, you know, to meit's just it's a normal life
cycle, right, you, you're young,you have a good time.
You, you get into your career,you get married, you have kids
and life becomes life right, andthen your kids figure it out a
little bit, your kids get olderand then you know you're on to
the second or third page of yourlife.
(12:53):
That's just kind of whathappens.
What are your thoughts on that?
Danielle Droitsch (12:58):
I mean, I Well, let's, let's, I mean let's
start with what well-being is.
And you were hitting on elementsthat well-being is sort of a
multifaceted picture, and soit's important to kind of really
ground ourselves.
Well-being is at its core and Ifeeling well in your life.
(13:20):
It's a little different thanhappiness, although connected.
So feeling well in multipleareas of your life.
So what does that look like?
It is feeling well in yourrelationships.
It is feeling well in your work, it is feeling well in your
financial state.
It is feeling well physically,it is feeling well mentally, it
(13:41):
is feeling well in terms of yourconnection to your community.
So, you know, you can almostimagine, like a like a whole
bunch of spokes around a wheeland you don't have to
necessarily be feeling well inall aspects, but you need to be
feeling well in multiple aspects.
So we are often feeling puttinga lot of energy and attention
(14:03):
into career.
I'm a, you know, I work withcareer stuff all the time, but I
always caution my clients, youknow.
Yes, it's great to feel well atwork.
We want to, we spend a lot oftime there.
But if you're just focused onthat to the detriment of
everything else, then you areprobably not going to have a
high level of well-being becauseyou have ignored the other
pieces.
(14:23):
So what we want to do is wewant to think okay, how is my
mental well-being?
How is my relationships like,my friendships, my family
connections?
What about my community?
Am I connected to my community?
Am I feeling well in?
Tim Newman (14:37):
that space.
Danielle Droitsch (14:37):
What about my finances?
Am I feeling well in that space?
What about my finances?
Like, do I feel well there?
And we go through that processof understanding and you know,
and then we sort of you know,start to reflect oh okay, maybe
I need to focus on a couple ofareas and bring those up.
And when you bring up, like,let's say, you are feeling well
(14:58):
in two areas but you're notfeeling well in four areas and
you focus're not feeling well infour areas and you focus on
those two of those other fourareas, you can actually bring
your overall wellbeing upsubstantially, because you are
like looking at multiple spokes.
So it's not really aboutgetting one of the spokes really
strong, it's about trying toget as many but maybe not all,
(15:19):
but as many spokes on that wheel.
You know to be strong, but theproblem is is that I wonder if
we are, you know, encouragingour kids to focus a little bit
too much in one area.
For example, there is a lot ofpressure on kids with respect to
(15:42):
grades and you know theirscores, and there's a lot of
pressure on kids, young peoplein particular, on the career.
And you know, I get it Likeit's not.
I don't think it's as easy foryounger people to find work
today as it was when I you know,this is 30 some years ago that
(16:03):
I was looking for my first job.
But that said, you know,housing prices have gone up.
There's lots of differentfactors that are driving this.
You know it's really hard tojust, you know, pay your rent
and yet this very, very seriousfocus on career and good jobs
and well-paying jobs, I thinkhas taken away from the other
(16:25):
spokes on the wheel.
Another factor is beingdisconnected, because you know
we are so connected to phonesand our you know we are, we do
connect, I mean people areconnected but you know the
wellbeing scientists would saysitting on your phone and
connecting with someone on aphone through maybe chatting,
(16:49):
texting or whatever, is not thesame connection as sitting down
and having, you know, going fora walk or sitting down and
having a coffee.
And so we've become this veryvirtual society and, of course,
covid didn't make it any easier.
But if we take the time to stepback and look at those
different areas and nurturethose and I'm talking to young
(17:11):
people, but I'm talking toeveryone here then this feeling,
this feeling of like beingdisconnected and happy or not,
flourishing or whatever it maybe, you actually have a pretty
strong impact or influence onyour overall well-being more so
than you know.
But it is about sort of pushingthe lever and actually taking
(17:33):
action in those spaces and itmay not look like how you've
been living your life.
So that's a little bit of theintroduction to what it means to
invest in human flourishing.
Tim Newman (17:45):
Yeah, it's.
You talk about connection.
It's funny that we'redisconnected even though we are
so connected.
Yes, I know you know it's likean oxymoron.
I read a study recently for apodcast that I'm getting ready
to do about the chemicals thatare released in our brain when
(18:12):
we get a text message where weget that Bing or whatever it is,
we get that, that, that beingor whatever it is when.
What happens when you'retalking to somebody and their
phone goes off and they stoplistening and they focus on the
phone and what they're saying isthat that has has kind of
(18:32):
changed our, our chemistry the,the, the chemical that's
released in our brains when thathappens, it's the same chemical
as feeling pain.
Danielle Droitsch (18:47):
Feeling pain.
Tim Newman (18:47):
yeah, Feeling pain, so like if I'm talking, if
you're talking to me, and I allof a sudden get a text message
and I stop and I look, stoplistening and look at that you
get the chemical reaction ofpain.
Danielle Droitsch (19:01):
Oh, and then you might get that little
endorphin serotonin, Exactly.
Tim Newman (19:08):
And it's funny how that works and how it's actually
come to that.
You know, when we grew up, ifwe didn't pay attention to
somebody listening, that wasconsidered rude, rude, yes, and
now it's just accepted and wejust move on.
And I think, when you look atwell-being and you look at how
(19:31):
this really wraps into the ideaof confidence and powerful
communication, how can we haveconfidence if we don't have, if
we don't have, some of thoseother things, if we, if we, if
we're only feeling, feeling goodin maybe one or two areas, how
can we have confidence to beable to go out and communicate
(19:52):
If we're so worried about ourfinances, if we're so worried
about our careers, if we're soworried about other things we
can't actually even, you know,open ourselves up to, to having
good interactions andcommunication?
Danielle Droitsch (20:05):
Yeah, yeah, so many.
I mean so much rich materialand everything you just said.
I mean, if I would just gonnastart with the human connection
piece and in fact, some of thesome of the researchers who are
analyzing this study's output,from revealing that young people
(20:26):
are not flourishing in the waythey have, in the past,
theorized that it was because,while we're connected more than
ever, we're really disconnected.
And so if there's one thingthat we could do to start to
flourish more as human beingsand, yes, I agree, tim, it is
(20:46):
connected to confidence, andI'll get to that it would be to
turn off the phone, put thephone away and spend time with
other human beings that you loveand you admire and you and you
care about.
Like, not this is, I'm nottalking about any human being
pick the people you want to bewith and, you know, spend real
(21:07):
time with them away from thephone.
I just got back.
I'm based in Utah, in Salt Lakecity, but our family spends a
lot of time in Southern Utahexploring the amazing desert
landscape.
So beautiful and we had fourdays and three nights in a very
(21:29):
remote part of Southern Utahthat a lot of people don't hit
but it's called Capitol ReefNational Park.
It's one of the parks and wejust got a cabin and it was just
me and my husband and mydaughter and I did turn off my
phone and my computer and justwe went hiking every day and
just found little things to doand it was unbelievable what
(21:52):
that three days or that fournight.
Four days and three nights didfor my, for my psyche, for my
mental wellness, for my healthand for my family and for my
connection.
I obviously can't do that allthe time, but it just hit me how
crucial it is that I get off myphone, I get off my computer,
get off my email and be presentwith my family and this is true
(22:16):
for just about anyone else and Iwould say that if we were to do
more of that and yourwell-being will go up in a way
that you couldn't possiblypredict.
It's not the only thing you cando, but it's probably a game
changer when it comes to someonewho feels like they're not
(22:36):
flourishing in life.
Tim Newman (22:39):
You're absolutely right.
How was your daughter with withturning the phone off?
Danielle Droitsch (22:43):
Well, we have this sort of rule that's off, I
mean it's off.
I mean, well, you know, wedidn't in the evenings, we let
her have a little bit in theevenings at the hotel room, but
when we're out in theenvironment, when we're hiking,
that's, it's uh, you know, it'sa it's uh, it's a rule and she
understands it.
(23:03):
And the interesting thing andthis is probably true for many
people, initially you might feela little uncomfortable, right,
you're like, ooh, I don't know,can I really step away?
But then I watched thistransformation where she
basically starts to embrace theoutdoors, she starts to discover
things and I see the kid that,you know, truly is what a real
(23:26):
kid does is like discover theenvironment.
But it's true for all of us.
It doesn't have to be just kids,you know.
I know we live in a, in asociety now, where kids and all
of us are connected.
I mean, there are some peoplehave chosen not to be, but I'd
say the vast majority kidsincluded, you know, have iPads
(23:49):
and phones and so on and soforth.
But if we can learn how tounplug and connect with other
people, or even connect withsomething we love to do, like
read a book or, you know, do ahike.
It doesn't always have to bewith other people, but it's
really about getting back toyour sort of core self, like
what actually you enjoy.
You start to actually come home, You're like coming home to who
you are as a person and thenother things start to open up
(24:10):
because if you are I'm notsaying you're going to hit the
peak of flourishing, but let'ssay you move your flourishing
from, you know, a five to a four, to a seven or an eight let's
say I'm just giving a rankingGuess what happens?
You start to feel better andyou start to show up more as
your authentic self and you areseen as more confident.
(24:31):
You feel more confident becauseyou are taking action to
actually invest in yourselves.
And I think right now, just ingeneral, there's just a lot of
people chasing after whateverthey're chasing.
Yeah, there's just a lot ofpeople chasing after whatever
they're chasing.
Yeah they're just chasing andthey haven't stopped to just
take a breath and say who am Iand who you are?
(24:53):
Is you without a phone?
First and foremost it's you.
It's you without technology.
And so and the big thing I'velearned about parenting, but
also coaching, is that everysingle person is different.
So just because when I go intoyou know the desert of southern
Utah and go hiking, I feel likemyself, that may not be someone
(25:15):
else.
Someone else it might be goingto a play in New York City.
For someone else it is sittingon a beach with a book.
For someone else it's maybeeven going to a conference and
meeting a whole bunch of people.
And this is where it is aboutreally trying to figure out who
you are.
The only real question you needto know is what makes me feel
(25:36):
energized, what brings me energy, because that's really the clue
to your Right like crisis ofwho I am.
I spent a lot of time going outthere and volunteering and
helping and I was just really ina frenzied oh my gosh, I need
(26:06):
to reassess everything.
But it wasn't until I got,became really quiet with myself
and became sort of stoppedworship working so hard that I
was able to discover thecoaching.
So sometimes you have to relaxand you have to kind of like,
calm down, rest a little bit andwhat is meant for you will come
(26:28):
your way.
But we probably have to, youknow, have a deliberate plan to,
you know, bring things down afew notches in order to allow
that next chapter to open up forus.
Tim Newman (26:40):
Yeah, but I think that's so true in really, in a
lot of the big decisions andmajor things that go on in life.
You know whether it's searchingfor a job, whether it's, you
know, trying to find a college,whether it's trying to find a
significant other.
But if you, if you stop forcingthose things and start being
you and, like you said, take it,take that step back and just
(27:02):
let things kind of happen andplay out, you know,
intentionally, right, I'm notsaying just sit around and do
nothing, but do thingsintentionally.
That's when things start comingto you.
Danielle Droitsch (27:14):
Yeah.
Tim Newman (27:14):
You know, my, my youngest daughter just changed
jobs about two months ago andshe was looking for like six
months.
I said it'll happen and once ithappens, what you're going to
find is you're going to get twoor three offers in like in
succession.
And she mumbled you don't know.
I said okay, just just.
(27:34):
But that's what happened.
She ended up getting threeoffers within a week and and it
was like, wow, now she.
Now she has choices, you don'thave to take the first job, you
don't have to, it's all for,just because you don't like the
other one.
You know, you, you, you can sitback and relax and and and
truly think about it and dowhat's.
(27:55):
Do what's best for you and yourfamily.
Danielle Droitsch (27:57):
Yeah, it's such a good example, though
(28:27):
no-transcript, my time like Iwas in a bit of a crisis of
confidence over who I was, but Ihad no idea what I was going to
do next and you know I did alot of things looking.
I definitely agree with youwhen you said don't just sit
back and do nothing, becausethat doesn't do anything.
Tim Newman (28:47):
Right.
Danielle Droitsch (28:48):
You need to act, but, but in terms of your
mental capacity.
It's not about chasing aftersomething, it's really about
relaxing into believing andtrusting that it will come your
way.
But you need to be intentional.
And so you know, when I becameintentional and thoughtful and
relaxed and sort of stepped back, then you know, eventually what
(29:08):
happened was the coachingprogram came across my desk and
I looked at it and I said I'm Idon't know why, but I think
there's something about thiscoaching program that's for me.
And I was just listening to mysort of inner voice saying maybe
you should sign up or take alook at this course.
And I've had other clients dothis to me too, like where
(29:30):
they're, like this thing cameacross my plate and I'm really
curious about it, like maybe Ishould look at it.
And I always say yes, if yourcuriosity is piquaked.
Curiosity is often yourintuition speaking to you, not
always, but many times it's yourintuition saying this is
something to follow.
And then you just withoutworrying, without grasping,
(29:53):
without chasing, you open, youexplore it and the next thing
you know you might have threejob offers, but you know it's,
it's a little bit of an energyshift.
That's sort of a prerequisite,to kind of figure.
It really is a prerequisite toconfidence, because confidence
doesn't come from chasing andscarcity and any of that.
(30:16):
It really.
I mean, I was at the top of mycareer when I went into this
sort of crisis that I ammentioning.
I had no confidence at thatpoint.
I had no confidence and itwasn't going to just be created
from working even harder at thecurrent job I had.
The confidence came fromaligning myself with more of who
(30:40):
I was and that turned out to besomeone who helps other people
reach their full potential.
That's now I feel so confidentin that space and so I sort of
aligned myself and my daily, mywork, my life, my purpose, my,
even my spirituality is allconnected back to this idea of
(31:01):
helping other people reach theirfull potential, and coaching is
one way I do that.
Tim Newman (31:08):
And I think it's also important for people to
understand that that can alsochange throughout our life too.
Yes, our core values don'treally change.
Danielle Droitsch (31:20):
Yeah.
Tim Newman (31:20):
Who we are doesn't change, but but how that comes
across and how that's expressedand how that actually you know
plays out in in relationshipsand work product and those other
types of things that go on inlife.
Danielle Droitsch (31:34):
Yes.
Tim Newman (31:35):
Can and do change.
Danielle Droitsch (31:37):
And probably should change.
Tim Newman (31:38):
I mean, you're right .
Danielle Droitsch (31:39):
I mean, if you're doing the same thing over
and over and over again, yearafter year, it probably gets
boring after a while and thenmaybe you change it up in a
different way.
But even my father, who was afederal government employee for
35 years you know my parents itwas staying the same job forever
, ever, never.
That's not the way it is now,but it was for our you know
(32:02):
grandparents, my parents andgrandparents and so on, but he
was always changing things upall the time within his job.
He'd find new projects and morenew things, and the reason is
because you can't do the samething over and over again.
Our brains aren't even builtfor it necessarily.
So we, we.
So it can be a job change, itcan be how you deploy, I work
(32:29):
with a lot of mid to seniorlevel professionals who are sort
of hit that wall, the same wall, I hit Right.
And they are all playing withthings like.
They're not so much playingwith like what should my career
trajectory be like.
I mean, they are wonderingabout their careers, but they're
thinking more about purpose andimpact.
They're like where can I makethe best impact in the world?
And so sometimes it's speaking,sometimes it's podcasting,
sometimes it's blogging,sometimes it's a career shift,
(32:52):
but they're really interested inlike how do I leave a legacy
that I can feel really proud of?
And I'm not saying the youngpeople need to worry about that
now, but you can begin thejourney by asking who am I and
where can I really best createthe best results?
And the reason we want to careabout that, even when you're
starting your career, is thatpeople notice you.
(33:17):
They feel that impact from you.
You get your confidence from Imean, I could go on and on not
from your skill set, but fromthis idea of superpowers.
That's where you start to feelreally energized, is how you
deploy your skills and theimpact you leave, if that makes
(33:40):
any sense.
Tim Newman (33:41):
Yeah, it makes a ton of sense.
I call it your innards.
I mean it's your innards.
Could you actually feel itinside of you?
I mean, at least I do.
I mean you feel that confidence, you feel that strength, you
feel that, that, that passion,that emotion, and then it comes
out in in the way that you wantit to, as opposed to not feeling
(34:06):
it.
And and it comes out as as asanger, as frustration, as
disappointment or whatever thatis.
Danielle Droitsch (34:15):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And figuring out this idea ofwho you are is really a tricky
business, because you know weare from the very young age.
You know we go to school, welearn skills, we learn knowledge
, and then we go to collegemaybe, and we're doing the same
thing, and so it's all aboutacquisition from from, from
(34:37):
outside yourself, like what canthis professor teach me, what
can this program teach me?
And we get very focused on that.
And I'm not saying it doesn'tmatter, because I read job
descriptions every day and Iknow what the job market's
looking for, and they wantpeople who know Microsoft Excel
and they want people who havecertain capabilities.
(34:58):
But the deployment of havingknowledge and skill is not
really the secret sauce ofconfidence and strengths.
It's really found in how youdeploy a skill, how you show up
in the workplace.
So you may have the knowledgeof, let's say, project
management.
You may be a project managerand you're really good at
(35:22):
organizing information and dataand sequencing and timelines,
and you've been trained and soyou know all this stuff.
But the secret sauce isprobably found in your unique
talent that comes to it, and sofor one person it might be
you're a really great problemsolver as you're pursuing a
(35:42):
project management plan, or itmight be.
You're extremely good atfiguring out who should be doing
what, because you're good atsort of figuring out how talent
should be allocated.
Or you're just really good atcommunicating.
You're so good at keepingeverybody informed about what
the project is, why it mattersand why everybody should stick
(36:06):
to their timelines, and you'repretty good at managing people
who don't want to be managed.
So those are all these what wecall soft skills that get
deployed as you're deploying.
The skill of project managementis still there.
It's sort of maybe your corefoundation.
But the stuff people notice isnot in that skill deployment.
(36:26):
It's found in these reallyspecial ways that you show up in
terms of how you deploy it.
That's really the secret sauce.
So if you're just like a robotmechanically deploying a skill,
people probably won't notice youand you probably won't feel
that confident in yourself.
But if you start to notice ohyou know, I'm pretty good at
actually bringing a teamtogether and making them feel
(36:48):
great about you know theirprogress then pay attention to
that.
Tim Newman (36:54):
Right.
Danielle Droitsch (36:54):
That is really the stuff that, that a
where you feel strong.
But guess what is what you canlean into to build confidence in
how you show up in theworkplace.
The problem is we often don'tpay any attention to these
things.
We call them soft skills and wethink they're unimportant.
But once you pay attention tothem, I promise you, that's
where your confidence starts togrow.
Tim Newman (37:16):
You're exactly right and you know.
Getting back to what you saidearlier, you're exactly right
and you know.
Getting back to what you saidearlier, the from the education
system perspective, so muchfocus is on grades and test
scores and we never, ever, trulytalk about soft skills, which,
to me, is is obviously.
It's cool, because this is whatwe do.
It's that that's where we're,where we're failing our students
(37:40):
and our young people, and maybethat's why you know that there
there's there's scoring so solow on that in that study you
referenced, because if you can'tcommunicate your thoughts and
your feelings and your knowledge, it doesn't matter what you
think, feel or know.
Danielle Droitsch (38:08):
Yeah, yeah it's.
I agree We've done a disservice.
I mean, certainly you seeGallup and the Strength Finder
assessments and you start to seethem in certain companies or in
certain universities, but weare mostly sending kids out
there thinking that all thatreally matters are your skills
and knowledge, and probably thehard skills.
You know we're really kind offocused on that and and that's
perhaps driven by economic needs.
(38:29):
You know, cost of housing weneed to have, I need to make
this much money to pay mymassive college bills back, like
I.
I'm aware that you know there'sa dynamic there that has kids
feeling a certain pressure and Iget it and I'm I'm not trying
to discount it.
And yet, uh, sure, they mightmake a lot of money and pay back
their uh college.
(38:49):
You know um loans and buy thecondo and they have all that.
But guess what, they may notfeel happy.
Tim Newman (38:57):
They might be great.
Danielle Droitsch (39:00):
So you know, maybe and that, and that's when
people come my way.
They're like yeah, I have allthe stuff, like I, I got this
great job, I have six figures,I'm doing all these things and I
just didn't think that I wouldbe so unhappy at work.
And so young people have theability early on to see all this
before others.
(39:20):
You know, have the little addedadvantage.
And it doesn't mean you don'tfocus on security and stability,
but as you're doing it, you arereally, really, really aware of
your, your superpowers.
You're super aware of howyou're strong.
The additional value bring you,figure out who you are, your
secret sauce.
(39:40):
You have leaned into them insuch a way that you build some
confidence in yourself.
You're connecting with people.
They know you, you knowyourself, and what happens is
that guess what?
Those people grow and they getadvanced and they get moved up
pretty quickly because those arethe managers, those are the
leaders, those are the peoplethat actually end up, you know,
(40:04):
getting the promotions.
So there's value in doing it,but it does take a little extra
work and sometimes it's notsomething that you're going to
find in a classroom.
Tim Newman (40:14):
Yeah, I would say very rarely.
Some of that stuff you'll findin the classroom.
Some of that stuff you'll findin the classroom, I think you
may be able to find.
You know the how to figurethose things out maybe.
But ultimately that's allself-work, that's all I mean.
You've got to put the work intoit.
You've got to.
It goes back to the innards.
(40:36):
You've got to want to be ableto figure those things out
sooner, sooner rather than later, because you know, again, like
you said, when you have some ofthose things figured out, you
carry yourself differently.
You look different you're, yousound different you're, you're
viewed differently yeah, yeahand that's one of the reasons
(40:58):
why, also, people are noticingin advance, because they they
show up different.
That's one of the reasons whyawesome people are noticed in
advance because they show updifferent.
Danielle Droitsch (41:04):
That's right, that's right.
Tim Newman (41:08):
Danielle, thank you so much.
Where can people find you towork with you?
Danielle Droitsch (41:12):
So yeah, so I am at Time for Wellbeing and
four is the number four, sotimeforwellbeingcom, and you can
find me on my website.
You can also find me onLinkedIn.
I love connecting with everyone.
Anyone on LinkedIn.
Um, I have a free training thatI'll be um, uh, sharing uh
(41:36):
through you, tim, but basicallyit's a uh training on you know
how to find fulfilling work.
What does it really look like?
So we'll have that link to youas well.
Tim Newman (41:47):
Awesome, and I'll put those links in the show
notes for everybody.
Thank you so much.
Daniel again, thank you so muchfor spending some time with us
today.
I really do appreciate it.
Lots of great stuff and I'mhopeful that you know, not just
young professionals but peoplein general really get into that
(42:08):
work and figuring out who theyare, because it's life-changing
both personally andprofessionally 100%, you just
nailed it.
Danielle Droitsch (42:16):
Thanks so much, tim.
I'm so happy to have talked toyou today.
Tim Newman (42:20):
All right, Take care .
Be sure to visitspeakingwithconfidencepodcastcom
to get your free ebook Top 21Challenges for Public Speakers
and how to Recover.
You can also register for theForming for Public Speaking
course.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change the world.
We'll talk to you next time,Take care.
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, the
podcast that helps you build thesoft skills that lead to real
results Communication,storytelling, public speaking
and showing up with confidencein every conversation that
counts.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide you on your
journey to become a powerfulcommunicator.
Today's guest is DanielleDroitsch.
(00:31):
She's an executive andleadership coach, empowering
high-achieving professionals todiscover their superpowers, love
their work, lead confidentlyand achieve the well-being they
deserve.
She believes it's possible tolove your career and achieve the
well-being they deserve.
She believes it's possible tolove your career, yet many
remain disengaged.
Nine years ago, as a seniorleader at a nonprofit, danielle
(00:55):
experienced burnout.
Overcoming this transformed herapproach to work.
Since then, she has helpedhundreds regain confidence in
their careers, often misled bymyths about career success.
Her mission is to help peopleuncover their secret sauce to
feeling successful and energizedat work.
Danielle develops strategicplans with clients to transform
careers into fulfillingpurposeful experiences, while
(01:15):
prioritizing well-being.
Danielle, welcome to the show.
I'm really excited for thisconversation with you today.
Danielle Droitsch (01:24):
Me too.
Tim Newman (01:24):
Tim, Thank you so much for having me.
Oh, no worries, you know wehave a lot in common, a lot in
common.
You know, we were both in ourcareers for a long time and you
know, at some point we both feltjust completely unfulfilled
professionally.
What was that like for you, andhow did, did you?
How do you figure it out to getwhere you are today?
Danielle Droitsch (01:47):
Yeah.
So it's really a good questionto ask, like, what was I feeling
?
Because it was now almost adecade ago.
I mean, it was going on for acouple of years.
I mean I finally pulled thetrigger and did some things 10
years ago.
I probably started 15 years agoand I found myself constantly
(02:08):
looking for, like, what should Ibe doing?
Like it was more just, I was ina search zone and I was going
to work every day, but I and andit wasn't that my head a
terrible job, in fact.
I mean, the job was just fineit was.
I was feeling something wasmissing.
(02:28):
That's the best way to describeit.
Something was missing for me,and I didn't know what it was.
I just knew that sometimes Iwas really bored at work,
sometimes I got really irritablewith the very, very small
things.
I went feeling impatient.
There's just all these little,you know, sort of emotional
(02:50):
indicators.
But I kept thinking, well,maybe I just should make a
change, some sort of careerchange, which ultimately I did,
but I had no idea what thatchange should be.
So I just kept researching andresearching, going down, you
know, endless Google searchpaths and, you know, eventually
I figured it out.
(03:10):
But that's kind of how I wasfeeling for a couple of years at
least.
Tim Newman (03:16):
Yeah, it's.
You know there's, there's somany common themes there and,
you know, I felt really kind ofthe same ways, you know, and and
my wife kept saying, well, whatis it that you want to do, what
is it that you want to do?
And well, I'm I don't know,because we our lives get so
wrapped up in our jobs and thatbecomes who we are and that's
really.
And the reality is, that's notwho we are, it's what we do.
Danielle Droitsch (03:37):
Yes.
Oh you just said the rightthing.
Tim Newman (03:39):
Yes, we spent so much time there and it was, like
you know, for me she keptsaying what do you want to do?
What do you want to do?
I don't know, I don't know, Idon't know.
And you know, I tried a lot ofthings and I got a lot of new
hobbies, a lot of things that Ireally enjoy now.
Podcasting is actually one ofthem and obviously that's become
part of my new career.
(04:00):
But finding that, that thingthat really inspired me to um,
to get back to what what it waswhen I first started my career
was was, wasn't easy and it didtake it took me about five years
(04:21):
for whatever reason.
Danielle Droitsch (04:22):
You're not alone, it did.
It takes when people start tofeel something's missing or
something's not right, or youknow, there's lots of different
ways, a lot of different wordsor phrases people use.
But, and sometimes we startwith focusing on the like it's
my boss, it's my job, you know,like like we externalize it.
But then you kind of eventuallyfigure out wait, I kind of
fixed that thing and it stilldidn't get better, whatever it
(04:45):
is.
So you start to realize thatit's something about you.
It's nothing wrong with you,but it's simply it's within you.
The answer is within you, andhearing you talk a little bit
about your experience, tim,makes me realize.
You know, at the end of the day, sure, what we do every day
does matter I mean, that's kindof what our lives are but it's
(05:09):
not who you are.
Your job is not who you are.
So it really begins with thisquestion who are you?
Who are you?
Yeah, and that's a toughquestion.
Tim Newman (05:19):
It is and as we get into this, I really kind of hope
that you know we can help, youknow the younger generations
figure this out a lot sooner.
Not that we didn't have itfigured out, but it took so long
for us to make that change ormake that adjustment.
And not that we should makesnap decisions, but you know
five years is a long time to beunhappy.
Danielle Droitsch (05:41):
Yeah.
Tim Newman (05:42):
Or to be unfulfilled , especially when we're doing,
when this part of our life takesup so much of our life, you
know.
You know, in our pre-call.
You know, you told me a storyabout how, the first time that
you said that you, somebody toldyou that somebody else told you
that you were extraordinary assomething, and to me that was
such a powerful story.
(06:03):
Can you share that, Because Ithink that's really the essence
of what I think our listenersreally need to hear.
Danielle Droitsch (06:10):
Yeah, I'm not sure what my story was.
Maybe give me a little it was.
Tim Newman (06:14):
You know you were.
You were good at being a lawyer.
You were you were good at doingyour, your, your previous
career, previous profession.
But nobody ever told you youwere extraordinary, until you
became a coach.
Danielle Droitsch (06:27):
Yes, yes, yes , yes, so, yeah.
So I've been trained as anenvironmental lawyer, so, you
know, working on the protectionof our environment and had been
doing that in the policy spaceand the legal space for many
decades and I'd always hadlooked at myself as good at it,
you know, maybe really good.
But you know the accolades Ididn't really get sort of wow,
(06:52):
you're amazing at this.
Like never heard that.
But I did get sort of, you know, I kept getting promotions and
I kept getting, you know therewould be other accolades, other
measures of success, like Imight get published somewhere,
invited to a conference, sothat's sort of how I was sort of
rolling for a really long timebut I never heard these words.
(07:13):
And then, you know, fastforward through my entire
transition and I became, youknow, executive coach and where
I'm coaching leaders andprofessionals to sort of help
them be successful in theirroles, and that's in a
one-to-one setting, it's not infront of a whole bunch of people
, it's just really askingpowerful questions and helping
(07:34):
people sort of discover forthemselves what the answer is
for them.
And I had done my training.
But I was receiving from myclients these reactions of just
like, you know, effusive, like,wow, you're so good at what you
do.
And they were being they were,you know, through a coaching
(07:58):
session would have these likebig.
You know, ahas, and you know Ican't believe I figured this out
and thank you so much for yourhelp.
But I was getting those againand again and I was like I
really never got that feedbackas a lawyer, you know, maybe I'd
get a pat on the back or goodjob on that presentation, but
never this sort of.
So it kind of made me realizethat, like you know, it took me
(08:23):
a little while to kind of figurethis all out, that I had been
doing what I was good at, butnot where I was strong.
And that's a big thing I dowith my own clients today is
helping people figure out wherethey're strong, which is what
goes back to that question youand I just talked about, like
who are you For me who?
I am is who are you?
For me, who I am is it's not.
(08:45):
I'm a coach.
I mean, yes, I do coach.
Coaching is part of what I do.
You're a podcaster.
You know it's part of what youdo.
But who I am is someone whohelps other people reach their
full potential.
I help them become like thestrongest possible humans and
do-gooders and high-impactpeople that they can be, and
(09:07):
coaching is a means to get todoing that.
But I did not identify myselfas someone who helps someone
else reach their full potentialuntil really in the last 10
years of my career.
Tim Newman (09:17):
And.
Danielle Droitsch (09:18):
I would never have told you that that's what
I was going to do with my career.
Tim Newman (09:22):
Right, and it's it's .
My guess is that that's who youare outside of coaching.
You help people.
You help people in whateveraspect or situation that you're
in.
That's that's what you do,because that's that's kind of
what.
What coaching is, it's kind ofwhat we do all the time.
(09:43):
Anyway, this profession I thinkin education, being a college
professor, or what about themmakes them what is their special
sauce, what is their superpowerEarly.
(10:08):
How much better would theirlife be, both personally and
professionally?
Danielle Droitsch (10:14):
Oh, you, just , yeah, just such an important
question Today.
You know, today, April 30th,when we actually are recording
this a major study came out fromthe Gallup Corporation but it's
not really from the, it's froma whole bunch of universities
together, but it was on.
It's one of the largest studieson human flourishing, this idea
(10:35):
of flourishing.
Flourishing isn't the samething as happiness.
It's.
Flourishing is really theaspect of doing well in multiple
areas of your life.
And the study came out.
And one of the more interestingfindings from the study is that
young people age 18 to 29 aresinking in terms of human
(10:58):
flourishing.
It's a sort of a new aspect ofthe study and there's, of course
, lots of theories about whythat is.
But our young people, uh, youknow, typically when you're
young I mean the old studies orthe prior studies the young
people were high, you know, theywere flourishing, and then
there'd be a sink in theirtwenties and thirties and maybe
(11:19):
forties, and then it would goback up in your fifties, and
this is just a typical sort ofyou.
Tim Newman (11:26):
Right.
Danielle Droitsch (11:27):
But unfortunately, what they're
seeing is that that's actuallydissipating to an extent, and so
young people, when they shouldbe flourishing, are not
flourishing.
Tim Newman (11:39):
That's really interesting because I didn't
expect that at all.
You know, especially when youknow, when we look at well-being
and that's really what you dois well-being of the whole
person.
Up until about maybe five orten years ago, well-being just
really meant our physicalwell-being yes, physical
(12:07):
well-being.
Now, you know, it's really kindof expanded into our emotional
and mental well-being, which Ithink is great and long overdue,
and I think we need moreresources and help in that area.
But when you look at it, fromwhat you just said, the younger
generation they have so muchmore than than we ever did, and
to be unhappy or unfulfilled,that to me is just it's like a
(12:33):
gut punch, because because Imean, when you, when you
describe that, you know, to meit's just it's a normal life
cycle, right, you, you're young,you have a good time.
You, you get into your career,you get married, you have kids
and life becomes life right, andthen your kids figure it out a
little bit, your kids get olderand then you know you're on to
the second or third page of yourlife.
(12:53):
That's just kind of whathappens.
What are your thoughts on that?
Danielle Droitsch (12:58):
I mean, I Well, let's, let's, I mean let's
start with what well-being is.
And you were hitting on elementsthat well-being is sort of a
multifaceted picture, and soit's important to kind of really
ground ourselves.
Well-being is at its core and Ifeeling well in your life.
(13:20):
It's a little different thanhappiness, although connected.
So feeling well in multipleareas of your life.
So what does that look like?
It is feeling well in yourrelationships.
It is feeling well in your work, it is feeling well in your
financial state.
It is feeling well physically,it is feeling well mentally, it
(13:41):
is feeling well in terms of yourconnection to your community.
So, you know, you can almostimagine, like a like a whole
bunch of spokes around a wheeland you don't have to
necessarily be feeling well inall aspects, but you need to be
feeling well in multiple aspects.
So we are often feeling puttinga lot of energy and attention
(14:03):
into career.
I'm a, you know, I work withcareer stuff all the time, but I
always caution my clients, youknow.
Yes, it's great to feel well atwork.
We want to, we spend a lot oftime there.
But if you're just focused onthat to the detriment of
everything else, then you areprobably not going to have a
high level of well-being becauseyou have ignored the other
pieces.
(14:23):
So what we want to do is wewant to think okay, how is my
mental well-being?
How is my relationships like,my friendships, my family
connections?
What about my community?
Am I connected to my community?
Am I feeling well in?
Tim Newman (14:37):
that space.
Danielle Droitsch (14:37):
What about my finances?
Am I feeling well in that space?
What about my finances?
Like, do I feel well there?
And we go through that processof understanding and you know,
and then we sort of you know,start to reflect oh okay, maybe
I need to focus on a couple ofareas and bring those up.
And when you bring up, like,let's say, you are feeling well
(14:58):
in two areas but you're notfeeling well in four areas and
you focus're not feeling well infour areas and you focus on
those two of those other fourareas, you can actually bring
your overall wellbeing upsubstantially, because you are
like looking at multiple spokes.
So it's not really aboutgetting one of the spokes really
strong, it's about trying toget as many but maybe not all,
(15:19):
but as many spokes on that wheel.
You know to be strong, but theproblem is is that I wonder if
we are, you know, encouragingour kids to focus a little bit
too much in one area.
For example, there is a lot ofpressure on kids with respect to
(15:42):
grades and you know theirscores, and there's a lot of
pressure on kids, young peoplein particular, on the career.
And you know, I get it Likeit's not.
I don't think it's as easy foryounger people to find work
today as it was when I you know,this is 30 some years ago that
(16:03):
I was looking for my first job.
But that said, you know,housing prices have gone up.
There's lots of differentfactors that are driving this.
You know it's really hard tojust, you know, pay your rent
and yet this very, very seriousfocus on career and good jobs
and well-paying jobs, I thinkhas taken away from the other
(16:25):
spokes on the wheel.
Another factor is beingdisconnected, because you know
we are so connected to phonesand our you know we are, we do
connect, I mean people areconnected but you know the
wellbeing scientists would saysitting on your phone and
connecting with someone on aphone through maybe chatting,
(16:49):
texting or whatever, is not thesame connection as sitting down
and having, you know, going fora walk or sitting down and
having a coffee.
And so we've become this veryvirtual society and, of course,
covid didn't make it any easier.
But if we take the time to stepback and look at those
different areas and nurturethose and I'm talking to young
(17:11):
people, but I'm talking toeveryone here then this feeling,
this feeling of like beingdisconnected and happy or not,
flourishing or whatever it maybe, you actually have a pretty
strong impact or influence onyour overall well-being more so
than you know.
But it is about sort of pushingthe lever and actually taking
(17:33):
action in those spaces and itmay not look like how you've
been living your life.
So that's a little bit of theintroduction to what it means to
invest in human flourishing.
Tim Newman (17:45):
Yeah, it's.
You talk about connection.
It's funny that we'redisconnected even though we are
so connected.
Yes, I know you know it's likean oxymoron.
I read a study recently for apodcast that I'm getting ready
to do about the chemicals thatare released in our brain when
(18:12):
we get a text message where weget that Bing or whatever it is,
we get that, that, that beingor whatever it is when.
What happens when you'retalking to somebody and their
phone goes off and they stoplistening and they focus on the
phone and what they're saying isthat that has has kind of
(18:32):
changed our, our chemistry the,the, the chemical that's
released in our brains when thathappens, it's the same chemical
as feeling pain.
Danielle Droitsch (18:47):
Feeling pain.
Tim Newman (18:47):
yeah, Feeling pain, so like if I'm talking, if
you're talking to me, and I allof a sudden get a text message
and I stop and I look, stoplistening and look at that you
get the chemical reaction ofpain.
Danielle Droitsch (19:01):
Oh, and then you might get that little
endorphin serotonin, Exactly.
Tim Newman (19:08):
And it's funny how that works and how it's actually
come to that.
You know, when we grew up, ifwe didn't pay attention to
somebody listening, that wasconsidered rude, rude, yes, and
now it's just accepted and wejust move on.
And I think, when you look atwell-being and you look at how
(19:31):
this really wraps into the ideaof confidence and powerful
communication, how can we haveconfidence if we don't have, if
we don't have, some of thoseother things, if we, if we, if
we're only feeling, feeling goodin maybe one or two areas, how
can we have confidence to beable to go out and communicate
(19:52):
If we're so worried about ourfinances, if we're so worried
about our careers, if we're soworried about other things we
can't actually even, you know,open ourselves up to, to having
good interactions andcommunication?
Danielle Droitsch (20:05):
Yeah, yeah, so many.
I mean so much rich materialand everything you just said.
I mean, if I would just gonnastart with the human connection
piece and in fact, some of thesome of the researchers who are
analyzing this study's output,from revealing that young people
(20:26):
are not flourishing in the waythey have, in the past,
theorized that it was because,while we're connected more than
ever, we're really disconnected.
And so if there's one thingthat we could do to start to
flourish more as human beingsand, yes, I agree, tim, it is
(20:46):
connected to confidence, andI'll get to that it would be to
turn off the phone, put thephone away and spend time with
other human beings that you loveand you admire and you and you
care about.
Like, not this is, I'm nottalking about any human being
pick the people you want to bewith and, you know, spend real
(21:07):
time with them away from thephone.
I just got back.
I'm based in Utah, in Salt Lakecity, but our family spends a
lot of time in Southern Utahexploring the amazing desert
landscape.
So beautiful and we had fourdays and three nights in a very
(21:29):
remote part of Southern Utahthat a lot of people don't hit
but it's called Capitol ReefNational Park.
It's one of the parks and wejust got a cabin and it was just
me and my husband and mydaughter and I did turn off my
phone and my computer and justwe went hiking every day and
just found little things to doand it was unbelievable what
(21:52):
that three days or that fournight.
Four days and three nights didfor my, for my psyche, for my
mental wellness, for my healthand for my family and for my
connection.
I obviously can't do that allthe time, but it just hit me how
crucial it is that I get off myphone, I get off my computer,
get off my email and be presentwith my family and this is true
(22:16):
for just about anyone else and Iwould say that if we were to do
more of that and yourwell-being will go up in a way
that you couldn't possiblypredict.
It's not the only thing you cando, but it's probably a game
changer when it comes to someonewho feels like they're not
(22:36):
flourishing in life.
Tim Newman (22:39):
You're absolutely right.
How was your daughter with withturning the phone off?
Danielle Droitsch (22:43):
Well, we have this sort of rule that's off, I
mean it's off.
I mean, well, you know, wedidn't in the evenings, we let
her have a little bit in theevenings at the hotel room, but
when we're out in theenvironment, when we're hiking,
that's, it's uh, you know, it'sa it's uh, it's a rule and she
understands it.
(23:03):
And the interesting thing andthis is probably true for many
people, initially you might feela little uncomfortable, right,
you're like, ooh, I don't know,can I really step away?
But then I watched thistransformation where she
basically starts to embrace theoutdoors, she starts to discover
things and I see the kid that,you know, truly is what a real
(23:26):
kid does is like discover theenvironment.
But it's true for all of us.
It doesn't have to be just kids,you know.
I know we live in a, in asociety now, where kids and all
of us are connected.
I mean, there are some peoplehave chosen not to be, but I'd
say the vast majority kidsincluded, you know, have iPads
(23:49):
and phones and so on and soforth.
But if we can learn how tounplug and connect with other
people, or even connect withsomething we love to do, like
read a book or, you know, do ahike.
It doesn't always have to bewith other people, but it's
really about getting back toyour sort of core self, like
what actually you enjoy.
You start to actually come home, You're like coming home to who
you are as a person and thenother things start to open up
(24:10):
because if you are I'm notsaying you're going to hit the
peak of flourishing, but let'ssay you move your flourishing
from, you know, a five to a four, to a seven or an eight let's
say I'm just giving a rankingGuess what happens?
You start to feel better andyou start to show up more as
your authentic self and you areseen as more confident.
(24:31):
You feel more confident becauseyou are taking action to
actually invest in yourselves.
And I think right now, just ingeneral, there's just a lot of
people chasing after whateverthey're chasing.
Yeah, there's just a lot ofpeople chasing after whatever
they're chasing.
Yeah they're just chasing andthey haven't stopped to just
take a breath and say who am Iand who you are?
(24:53):
Is you without a phone?
First and foremost it's you.
It's you without technology.
And so and the big thing I'velearned about parenting, but
also coaching, is that everysingle person is different.
So just because when I go intoyou know the desert of southern
Utah and go hiking, I feel likemyself, that may not be someone
(25:15):
else.
Someone else it might be goingto a play in New York City.
For someone else it is sittingon a beach with a book.
For someone else it's maybeeven going to a conference and
meeting a whole bunch of people.
And this is where it is aboutreally trying to figure out who
you are.
The only real question you needto know is what makes me feel
(25:36):
energized, what brings me energy, because that's really the clue
to your Right like crisis ofwho I am.
I spent a lot of time going outthere and volunteering and
helping and I was just really ina frenzied oh my gosh, I need
(26:06):
to reassess everything.
But it wasn't until I got,became really quiet with myself
and became sort of stoppedworship working so hard that I
was able to discover thecoaching.
So sometimes you have to relaxand you have to kind of like,
calm down, rest a little bit andwhat is meant for you will come
(26:28):
your way.
But we probably have to, youknow, have a deliberate plan to,
you know, bring things down afew notches in order to allow
that next chapter to open up forus.
Tim Newman (26:40):
Yeah, but I think that's so true in really, in a
lot of the big decisions andmajor things that go on in life.
You know whether it's searchingfor a job, whether it's, you
know, trying to find a college,whether it's trying to find a
significant other.
But if you, if you stop forcingthose things and start being
you and, like you said, take it,take that step back and just
(27:02):
let things kind of happen andplay out, you know,
intentionally, right, I'm notsaying just sit around and do
nothing, but do thingsintentionally.
That's when things start comingto you.
Danielle Droitsch (27:14):
Yeah.
Tim Newman (27:14):
You know, my, my youngest daughter just changed
jobs about two months ago andshe was looking for like six
months.
I said it'll happen and once ithappens, what you're going to
find is you're going to get twoor three offers in like in
succession.
And she mumbled you don't know.
I said okay, just just.
(27:34):
But that's what happened.
She ended up getting threeoffers within a week and and it
was like, wow, now she.
Now she has choices, you don'thave to take the first job, you
don't have to, it's all for,just because you don't like the
other one.
You know, you, you, you can sitback and relax and and and
truly think about it and dowhat's.
(27:55):
Do what's best for you and yourfamily.
Danielle Droitsch (27:57):
Yeah, it's such a good example, though
(28:27):
no-transcript, my time like Iwas in a bit of a crisis of
confidence over who I was, but Ihad no idea what I was going to
do next and you know I did alot of things looking.
I definitely agree with youwhen you said don't just sit
back and do nothing, becausethat doesn't do anything.
Tim Newman (28:47):
Right.
Danielle Droitsch (28:48):
You need to act, but, but in terms of your
mental capacity.
It's not about chasing aftersomething, it's really about
relaxing into believing andtrusting that it will come your
way.
But you need to be intentional.
And so you know, when I becameintentional and thoughtful and
relaxed and sort of stepped back, then you know, eventually what
(29:08):
happened was the coachingprogram came across my desk and
I looked at it and I said I'm Idon't know why, but I think
there's something about thiscoaching program that's for me.
And I was just listening to mysort of inner voice saying maybe
you should sign up or take alook at this course.
And I've had other clients dothis to me too, like where
(29:30):
they're, like this thing cameacross my plate and I'm really
curious about it, like maybe Ishould look at it.
And I always say yes, if yourcuriosity is piquaked.
Curiosity is often yourintuition speaking to you, not
always, but many times it's yourintuition saying this is
something to follow.
And then you just withoutworrying, without grasping,
(29:53):
without chasing, you open, youexplore it and the next thing
you know you might have threejob offers, but you know it's,
it's a little bit of an energyshift.
That's sort of a prerequisite,to kind of figure.
It really is a prerequisite toconfidence, because confidence
doesn't come from chasing andscarcity and any of that.
(30:16):
It really.
I mean, I was at the top of mycareer when I went into this
sort of crisis that I ammentioning.
I had no confidence at thatpoint.
I had no confidence and itwasn't going to just be created
from working even harder at thecurrent job I had.
The confidence came fromaligning myself with more of who
(30:40):
I was and that turned out to besomeone who helps other people
reach their full potential.
That's now I feel so confidentin that space and so I sort of
aligned myself and my daily, mywork, my life, my purpose, my,
even my spirituality is allconnected back to this idea of
(31:01):
helping other people reach theirfull potential, and coaching is
one way I do that.
Tim Newman (31:08):
And I think it's also important for people to
understand that that can alsochange throughout our life too.
Yes, our core values don'treally change.
Danielle Droitsch (31:20):
Yeah.
Tim Newman (31:20):
Who we are doesn't change, but but how that comes
across and how that's expressedand how that actually you know
plays out in in relationshipsand work product and those other
types of things that go on inlife.
Danielle Droitsch (31:34):
Yes.
Tim Newman (31:35):
Can and do change.
Danielle Droitsch (31:37):
And probably should change.
Tim Newman (31:38):
I mean, you're right .
Danielle Droitsch (31:39):
I mean, if you're doing the same thing over
and over and over again, yearafter year, it probably gets
boring after a while and thenmaybe you change it up in a
different way.
But even my father, who was afederal government employee for
35 years you know my parents itwas staying the same job forever
, ever, never.
That's not the way it is now,but it was for our you know
(32:02):
grandparents, my parents andgrandparents and so on, but he
was always changing things upall the time within his job.
He'd find new projects and morenew things, and the reason is
because you can't do the samething over and over again.
Our brains aren't even builtfor it necessarily.
So we, we.
So it can be a job change, itcan be how you deploy, I work
(32:29):
with a lot of mid to seniorlevel professionals who are sort
of hit that wall, the same wall, I hit Right.
And they are all playing withthings like.
They're not so much playingwith like what should my career
trajectory be like.
I mean, they are wonderingabout their careers, but they're
thinking more about purpose andimpact.
They're like where can I makethe best impact in the world?
And so sometimes it's speaking,sometimes it's podcasting,
sometimes it's blogging,sometimes it's a career shift,
(32:52):
but they're really interested inlike how do I leave a legacy
that I can feel really proud of?
And I'm not saying the youngpeople need to worry about that
now, but you can begin thejourney by asking who am I and
where can I really best createthe best results?
And the reason we want to careabout that, even when you're
starting your career, is thatpeople notice you.
(33:17):
They feel that impact from you.
You get your confidence from Imean, I could go on and on not
from your skill set, but fromthis idea of superpowers.
That's where you start to feelreally energized, is how you
deploy your skills and theimpact you leave, if that makes
(33:40):
any sense.
Tim Newman (33:41):
Yeah, it makes a ton of sense.
I call it your innards.
I mean it's your innards.
Could you actually feel itinside of you?
I mean, at least I do.
I mean you feel that confidence, you feel that strength, you
feel that, that, that passion,that emotion, and then it comes
out in in the way that you wantit to, as opposed to not feeling
(34:06):
it.
And and it comes out as as asanger, as frustration, as
disappointment or whatever thatis.
Danielle Droitsch (34:15):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And figuring out this idea ofwho you are is really a tricky
business, because you know weare from the very young age.
You know we go to school, welearn skills, we learn knowledge
, and then we go to collegemaybe, and we're doing the same
thing, and so it's all aboutacquisition from from, from
(34:37):
outside yourself, like what canthis professor teach me, what
can this program teach me?
And we get very focused on that.
And I'm not saying it doesn'tmatter, because I read job
descriptions every day and Iknow what the job market's
looking for, and they wantpeople who know Microsoft Excel
and they want people who havecertain capabilities.
(34:58):
But the deployment of havingknowledge and skill is not
really the secret sauce ofconfidence and strengths.
It's really found in how youdeploy a skill, how you show up
in the workplace.
So you may have the knowledgeof, let's say, project
management.
You may be a project managerand you're really good at
(35:22):
organizing information and dataand sequencing and timelines,
and you've been trained and soyou know all this stuff.
But the secret sauce isprobably found in your unique
talent that comes to it, and sofor one person it might be
you're a really great problemsolver as you're pursuing a
(35:42):
project management plan, or itmight be.
You're extremely good atfiguring out who should be doing
what, because you're good atsort of figuring out how talent
should be allocated.
Or you're just really good atcommunicating.
You're so good at keepingeverybody informed about what
the project is, why it mattersand why everybody should stick
(36:06):
to their timelines, and you'repretty good at managing people
who don't want to be managed.
So those are all these what wecall soft skills that get
deployed as you're deploying.
The skill of project managementis still there.
It's sort of maybe your corefoundation.
But the stuff people notice isnot in that skill deployment.
(36:26):
It's found in these reallyspecial ways that you show up in
terms of how you deploy it.
That's really the secret sauce.
So if you're just like a robotmechanically deploying a skill,
people probably won't notice youand you probably won't feel
that confident in yourself.
But if you start to notice ohyou know, I'm pretty good at
actually bringing a teamtogether and making them feel
(36:48):
great about you know theirprogress then pay attention to
that.
Tim Newman (36:54):
Right.
Danielle Droitsch (36:54):
That is really the stuff that, that a
where you feel strong.
But guess what is what you canlean into to build confidence in
how you show up in theworkplace.
The problem is we often don'tpay any attention to these
things.
We call them soft skills and wethink they're unimportant.
But once you pay attention tothem, I promise you, that's
where your confidence starts togrow.
Tim Newman (37:16):
You're exactly right and you know.
Getting back to what you saidearlier, you're exactly right
and you know.
Getting back to what you saidearlier, the from the education
system perspective, so muchfocus is on grades and test
scores and we never, ever, trulytalk about soft skills, which,
to me, is is obviously.
It's cool, because this is whatwe do.
It's that that's where we're,where we're failing our students
(37:40):
and our young people, and maybethat's why you know that there
there's there's scoring so solow on that in that study you
referenced, because if you can'tcommunicate your thoughts and
your feelings and your knowledge, it doesn't matter what you
think, feel or know.
Danielle Droitsch (38:08):
Yeah, yeah it's.
I agree We've done a disservice.
I mean, certainly you seeGallup and the Strength Finder
assessments and you start to seethem in certain companies or in
certain universities, but weare mostly sending kids out
there thinking that all thatreally matters are your skills
and knowledge, and probably thehard skills.
You know we're really kind offocused on that and and that's
perhaps driven by economic needs.
(38:29):
You know, cost of housing weneed to have, I need to make
this much money to pay mymassive college bills back, like
I.
I'm aware that you know there'sa dynamic there that has kids
feeling a certain pressure and Iget it and I'm I'm not trying
to discount it.
And yet, uh, sure, they mightmake a lot of money and pay back
their uh college.
(38:49):
You know um loans and buy thecondo and they have all that.
But guess what, they may notfeel happy.
Tim Newman (38:57):
They might be great.
Danielle Droitsch (39:00):
So you know, maybe and that, and that's when
people come my way.
They're like yeah, I have allthe stuff, like I, I got this
great job, I have six figures,I'm doing all these things and I
just didn't think that I wouldbe so unhappy at work.
And so young people have theability early on to see all this
before others.
(39:20):
You know, have the little addedadvantage.
And it doesn't mean you don'tfocus on security and stability,
but as you're doing it, you arereally, really, really aware of
your, your superpowers.
You're super aware of howyou're strong.
The additional value bring you,figure out who you are, your
secret sauce.
(39:40):
You have leaned into them insuch a way that you build some
confidence in yourself.
You're connecting with people.
They know you, you knowyourself, and what happens is
that guess what?
Those people grow and they getadvanced and they get moved up
pretty quickly because those arethe managers, those are the
leaders, those are the peoplethat actually end up, you know,
(40:04):
getting the promotions.
So there's value in doing it,but it does take a little extra
work and sometimes it's notsomething that you're going to
find in a classroom.
Tim Newman (40:14):
Yeah, I would say very rarely.
Some of that stuff you'll findin the classroom.
Some of that stuff you'll findin the classroom, I think you
may be able to find.
You know the how to figurethose things out maybe.
But ultimately that's allself-work, that's all I mean.
You've got to put the work intoit.
You've got to.
It goes back to the innards.
(40:36):
You've got to want to be ableto figure those things out
sooner, sooner rather than later, because you know, again, like
you said, when you have some ofthose things figured out, you
carry yourself differently.
You look different you're, yousound different you're, you're
viewed differently yeah, yeahand that's one of the reasons
(40:58):
why, also, people are noticingin advance, because they they
show up different.
That's one of the reasons whyawesome people are noticed in
advance because they show updifferent.
Danielle Droitsch (41:04):
That's right, that's right.
Tim Newman (41:08):
Danielle, thank you so much.
Where can people find you towork with you?
Danielle Droitsch (41:12):
So yeah, so I am at Time for Wellbeing and
four is the number four, sotimeforwellbeingcom, and you can
find me on my website.
You can also find me onLinkedIn.
I love connecting with everyone.
Anyone on LinkedIn.
Um, I have a free training thatI'll be um, uh, sharing uh
(41:36):
through you, tim, but basicallyit's a uh training on you know
how to find fulfilling work.
What does it really look like?
So we'll have that link to youas well.
Tim Newman (41:47):
Awesome, and I'll put those links in the show
notes for everybody.
Thank you so much.
Daniel again, thank you so muchfor spending some time with us
today.
I really do appreciate it.
Lots of great stuff and I'mhopeful that you know, not just
young professionals but peoplein general really get into that
(42:08):
work and figuring out who theyare, because it's life-changing
both personally andprofessionally 100%, you just
nailed it.
Danielle Droitsch (42:16):
Thanks so much, tim.
I'm so happy to have talked toyou today.
Tim Newman (42:20):
All right, Take care .
Be sure to visitspeakingwithconfidencepodcastcom
to get your free ebook Top 21Challenges for Public Speakers
and how to Recover.
You can also register for theForming for Public Speaking
course.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change the world.
We'll talk to you next time,Take care.
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