How to Rebuild Confidence After a Public Speaking Disaster | Tim Newman Speaks

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Have you ever completely blanked out during a presentation or felt your confidence collapse in front of an audience? If so, you’re far from alone and in this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I tackle exactly how to recover from those “crash and burn” public speaking moments and get your confidence back on track.

I’m Tim Newman, and as someone who once threw up before giving my first college presentation, I know firsthand how devastating public speaking anxiety can feel. This week, I’m drawing on both scientific studies and coaching experience to help you move forward from setbacks and rebuild your core presentation skills, one step at a time.

I’m going deep into the mechanics of bouncing back from a public speaking “freeze.” I break down why our brains sometimes fail us under stress, how anxiety is triggered both by internal self-esteem and external factors like the room or audience, and most importantly, what you can do to start the recovery process today.

Here’s what I cover in this episode:

• Understanding why you might suddenly forget your words or lose your flow during a speech and why it’s usually a stress-driven system breakdown rather than a lack of knowledge.
• The five interconnected parts of effective public speaking: content mastery, physical control, audience awareness, emotional regulation, and delivery mechanics.
• Real-world examples of how even highly skilled professionals can “crash,” and the neuroscience behind how adrenaline and panic disrupt your memory.
• How confidence and public speaking ability reinforce one another, plus how environmental factors (like room layout and audience engagement) can shape your anxiety level in real time.
• Practical steps to identify exactly where you tend to stumble using a technique I recommend to all my clients: recording and reviewing your last few talks to pinpoint specific breakdowns.
• The value of gradual, targeted practice to rebuild your skills, including insights from virtual reality training studies that show even small, structured exposures lead to measurable improvement.
• My recommended “exposure ladder” for resetting your confidence: from practicing alone to speaking in front of a small, trusted audience, and then slowly simulating real-life settings.
• An evidence-based way to turn setbacks into learning opportunities using structured reflection, journaling, and a four-step mental reframe to immediately convert mistakes into specific action steps.
• How to design your speech outlines to lower your risk of freezing, and why preparing the opening lines for common questions in Q&A makes a big difference.
• The importance of brief, focused daily practice and getting specific peer feedback to reinforce positive changes and accelerate growth.
• A quick three-day reset challenge you can try right away to get yourself unstuck and moving forward.

Don’t forget to check out speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com after the show to grab your free eBook, “Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and How to Overcome Them,” and to learn about my full Formula for Public Speaking course.

Remember, your voice matters. With the right approach, you can recover and come back even stronger. Thanks for joining me and I’ll talk to you next time!

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Episode Transcript

Tim Newman (00:08):
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, a
podcast that helps you build thesoft skills that lead to real
results Communication,storytelling, public speaking
and showing up with confidencein every conversation that
counts.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide you on your
journey to becoming a powerfulcommunicator.
Thank you so much forsupporting the show.
If you have a question, commentor want something covered on

(00:32):
the show, just send me a message.
Surveys and popular estimatesvary, but many studies and polls
suggest that a majority ofpeople often cited between 40%
and 75% experience some level ofpublic speaking anxiety.
Many surveys even rank giving aspeech among people's top fears
.
I've told the story many timesof me throwing up before my

(00:55):
first presentation in college.
It was a big hit to myconfidence and I had to find a
way to get that confidence back.
So if you've ever had your mindjust kind of go blank in the
middle of a speech while theaudience waits, that gut-punch
moment doesn't have to be theend of your confidence either.
The good news is this yourbrain can adapt and bounce back,

(01:19):
and today I'll walk you throughexactly how to reset after a
crash and burn moment, usingpractice-based training and
exposure-style rebuilding provento restore confidence.
And it starts withunderstanding why these
breakdowns happen.
That sudden blank out during aspeech isn't random.
It's a system breakdown.

(01:40):
It's a system breakdown.
Effective public speaking relieson five interconnected parts
content mastery, physicalcontrol, audience awareness,
emotional regulation anddelivery mechanics.
When stress hits, it oftendisrupts mental retrieval and
focus first, which then cascadesinto other areas.

(02:04):
One weak link can strain therest.
Consider the CEO who frozeduring an earnings call.
He knew the material cold, buta surge of adrenaline and stress
disrupted the prefrontal cortex, an effect clinicians describe
as the brain's retrievalfunctions going offline under
panic.
This wasn't about forgettingthe facts.
It was about a stress responseshutting down access to them.

(02:30):
Confidence plays a key role heretoo.
Research has found a moderatepositive relationship between
self-esteem and public speakingability.
Those with higher self-esteemoften reported lower anxiety and
communicate more effectively.
It's not that skill aloneguarantees success.
Confidence and technical skillfeed into each other.

(02:52):
Environmental and audiencefactors also influence
performance.
Studies and reviews show thatroom layout, audience size and
engagement levels can increaseor reduce anxiety.
Larger spaces or higherceilings can subtly increase
scanning and distraction, whileeven a small attentive audience

(03:13):
can make a speaker feel more atease.
Factors like audience facialexpressions and perceived
evaluation can shift your stresslevels in real time, sometimes
creating a feedback loop thatderails delivery, and these
breakdowns can happen veryquickly.
Poor breathing control affectsvocal stability.
Weak structure planning addscognitive load, making it harder

(03:38):
to stay present with youraudience.
Physical attention fromskipping a warm-up can restrict
gestures and pacing, and eachfalter compounds the rest.
The first step towards fixingthe problem is knowing where it
starts for you.
Record your last three talksthis is a technique widely
recommended in public speakingtraining and review them

(04:00):
carefully.
Watch where you lost your place, when your breathing became
shallow or when your gaze andgestures changed.
These are measurable markersthat you can target.
Identifying these patternsgives you a specific starting
point for strengthening theright subsystem, instead of just
practicing everything in hopethat everything improves.
Once you can see the exactfailure points, the question

(04:24):
becomes how to rebuild them in away that is safe, gradual and
designed to restore confidencepiece by piece After a setback.
Tackling a full-lengthpresentation right away often
backfires.
It's kind of like attempting aheavy lift immediately after an
injury.
Your body just isn't ready forit.
Your body just isn't ready forit.
A safer, more effective routeis to apply gradual, controlled

(04:46):
exposure similar to how physicaltherapists build strength
post-injury In a virtual realityfor public speaking, or VR4PS.
Pilot study published byMultidisciplinary Publishing
Institute or MDPI.
Participants reduced theirfiller words by about 24% over
three structured practicesessions, with an overall score

(05:09):
improvement of roughly 12%.
While this was a smallcontrolled trial, it offers a
useful micro-proof thatstep-by-step practice can shift
habits.
A practical way to start is witha progressive exposure ladder
informed by exposure therapyprinciples.
Way to start is with aprogressive exposure ladder
informed by exposure therapyprinciples.
For example, on day one, recorda one to three minute talk

(05:35):
alone in a quiet space.
On day three, repeat the sametalk in front of one trusted
listener.
And on day five, either add asecond person, ideally someone
you know less well will recreatemore real conditions through
lighting, background, noise orposture.
The goal is to add just enoughpressure to challenge without
overwhelming.
For each micro session, set yourcamera or phone at eye level

(05:58):
and about an arm's length awayto match a natural audience
sight line.
Review the recording twice.
First, watch for structure andflow, noting where ideas connect
or stumble.
Second, focus on nonverbal cuesand breathing patterns.
This two-pass review is astandard recommendation from
experienced speaking coaches andmirrors the real-time and

(06:21):
summary feedback approach usedin VR training research.
Keep the session measurable.
Choose one skill to work on andtrack a clear metric, such as
counting filler words, or notethe length of pauses, or record
how many times your gaze sweepsthe audience.
The MDPI pilot's emphasis ondiscrete, trackable performance

(06:44):
markers shows how targetedattention to one variable at a
time drives steady improvement.
Avoid layering too many focuspoints at once.
Instead, build each skill intoyour repertoire before shifting
to the next.
Remember that the strongestevidence for improvement comes
from repeated supervisedpractice.
Strongest evidence forimprovement comes from repeated

(07:06):
supervised practice.
The VR and exposure therapystudies are promising but small,
so use low-stakes environmentsoften and, if possible, seek
trusted peer feedback.
These sessions aren't just aboutphysical delivery.
They're about strengthening themental flexibility to stay

(07:26):
present and adapt even whenthings go wrong.
That mindset shift is wherelasting recovery truly takes
root.
One of the most effectiveshifts you can make now is in
how you mentally frame a setback.
As it happens, in both coachingpractice and clinical
approaches, structuredreflection, journaling and
cognitive appraisal are used toreduce rumination and turn
mistakes into concrete learningsteps, instead of mentally

(07:49):
replaying the error on a loop,you create a scaffold your brain
can actually work from.
A simple version I give clientsis a four-step reframe.
First, name the slip, such aslost my place at slide 12.
Second, identify the likelycause, such as room was colder

(08:09):
than rehearsals tightening mythroat.
Third, choose one specific fix,such as mark transitions in
bold.
And fourth, schedule that fix.
For example, practice cold roomrun-through on Thursday.
You need to write this downright after the stumble.
This keeps the mind in aproblem-solving mode and

(08:31):
prevents the moment from hardsetting into self-criticism.
To support this, use a briefpost-event journal.
Begin with a factual sequence,then write one sentence on how
you felt and finish with asingle targeted action step.
Guidance from coaching andcounseling literature suggests
that separating facts fromemotions and actions can

(08:52):
interrupt unproductiverumination and give you a clear
next move.
You can also reduce decisionload in the moment by using a
three-layer outline for yourspeech.
You've got must-say points,should-say details and could-say
stories.
Coaching sources andperformance preparation guides
indicate that working from thiskind of scaffold lowers freeze

(09:13):
risk because you always haveyour non-negotiables at hand and
for Q&A, prepare the first twoor three lines you'll use for
the most likely questionsTraining, materials from VR
pilots and performance coaches.
Both stress that havingpre-built openings reduces
hesitation under pressure.
Feedback accelerates thisprocess In VR training pilots

(09:36):
and structured practice programs.
Sessions with focused peerfeedback outperform solo
repetition.
Set up a short weekly exchangewith one trusted person.
Give them a single prompt, likemark one place where I lose
breath or pace, so the feedbackstays specific and actionable.
Finally, anchor the habit withshort daily practice and
actionable.
Finally, anchor the habit withshort daily practice 10 to 15

(10:00):
minutes on one skill, followedby 3 to 5 minutes of reflection
or immediate playback review.
Multiple coaching case studiesand practice systems show that
these brief, focused sessionssupport steady improvement
without overload.
And when these mental andstructural supports are in place
, the next step is to put theminto a concentrated testing

(10:21):
period that shows you measurableprogress in a short amount of
time.
Remember the small VR4PS pilotpublished in MDPI documented
measurable gains over threestructured practice sessions.
Again, participants reducedfiller words by about 24% and
showed roughly a 12% improvementin overall performance scores.

(10:42):
While preliminary, theseresults align with gradual,
targeted exposure as aneffective recovery method.
Here's a three-day reset.
You can run Day one, record a90-second microtalk and choose
one measurable target likefiller words or pause, length or
breath control.
On day two, use the four-beatreframe on a past stumble, apply

(11:06):
one, fix and redo the recording.
And on day three, deliver thesame talk to one observer,
tracking only that single metric.
Try it and post in the commentswhich metric you'll work on.
Remember confidence comes fromstrengthening and rebuilding
systems content mastery,physical control, audience

(11:28):
awareness, emotional regulationand delivery mechanics.
Focused, measurable practice isthe path forward.
Remember, we're looking forprogress, not perfection.
That's all for today.
Be sure to visitspeakingwithconfidencepodcastcom
to get your free ebook the top21 challenges for public

(11:48):
speakers and how to overcomethem.
You can also register for theformula for public speaking.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change.
We'll talk to you next time,take care.