Practical Strategies to Overcome Digital Distractions and Screen Overload | Tim Newman Speaks

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Have you ever wondered if your phone habits are actually rewiring your brain—and what you can do to reclaim truly meaningful conversations? In today’s episode of Speaking with Confidence, I dive deep into the reality of digital overwhelm, exploring how our constant connectivity shapes not only our attention spans, but also our ability to build real, lasting connections.

I’m Tim Newman, your host and a “recovering college professor” turned communication coach. If you caught my earlier conversation with Craig Mattson about digital overwhelm (and if not, be sure to listen!), today I’m taking our discussion one step further. This episode is packed with practical tips to help you break out of the screen-time spiral and nurture richer, more present communication—at work, at home, and everywhere it matters.

I unpack just how our devices—and the behaviors they encourage—impact our brains, our relationships, and our emotional well-being. Did you know that our attention span has dropped to less than a goldfish’s, or that checking your phone mid-conversation can physically hurt your relationships? I detail the science behind these findings, walking you through what’s really happening in your brain when you’re glued to your screen.

Here’s a sneak peek of what we cover in this episode:

• How excessive screen time quite literally changes the physical structure of your brain, especially the areas that keep your empathy and emotional processing sharp
• The eye-opening comparison between our attention span today and that of a goldfish (spoiler: the fish is winning)
• Why multitasking is just rapid attention switching, and how every notification derails your focus for as much as 25 minutes
• How checking your phone—even for a split second—during meetings or conversations triggers feelings of rejection and erodes trust
• The surprising emotional gap in text-based communication vs. phone calls or in-person chats, including why arguments take longer to resolve over text and why emojis don’t always help
• The neuroscience behind why social media may be numbing our real-world empathy, and how dopamine-driven interactions make it harder to form deep, lasting bonds
• Simple, science-backed strategies to repair your attention span—like the 90/20 rule, tech-free meal times, and delaying morning phone use—and the powerful results you can expect to see
• The truth about “multitasking” in virtual meetings and the dramatic drop in information retention when devices are present
• Why creating analog space and reducing digital distractions leads not only to better memory and increased empathy, but more rewarding, memorable conversations

Throughout the episode, I share practical experiments, easy habits, and real-world stories—along with the latest research—to help you make progress, not seek perfection. You’ll discover small changes that restore focus and connection, proving you don’t have to renounce technology to build your confidence as a communicator. Start with just one device-free meal a day and see just how much deeper your conversations can go.

Don’t forget to check out speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com for your free eBook and details on my public speaking course. Your voice matters—and with a bit of intentionality, you can ensure it’s heard, felt, and

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Episode Transcript

Tim Newman (00:08):
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, the
podcast that helps you build theskills that lead to real
results.
Communication, storytelling,public speaking, and showing up
with confidence in everyconversation that counts.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turn
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide you on a
journey to becoming a powerfulcommunicator.

(00:29):
Make sure you hit the subscribebutton so you never miss an
episode.
Today, I'm going to take theconversation about digital
overwhelm with Craig Madsen alittle bit deeper and give you
some more practical tips tobuild better connections and
have more meaningfulconversations.
If you missed the episode withCraig Madsen, make sure you
check it out.
Let's go ahead and get started.
Hey you, Alice.

(00:49):
Yay, you and Ben, you'rescrolling while you're
pretending to listen tosomething else right now.
We've all been there, but didyou know that this habit might
actually be reshaping yourbrain?
Think about how often you checkyour phone during a
conversation while you watch TV.
Studies show excessive screentime causes the thinning of the
cerebral cortex.
That's the part of your brainthat's responsible for empathy

(01:12):
and emotional processing.
In America, people spend 44% oftheir waking hours looking at
screens.
But it could be worse.
In South Africa, it's 70%.
This isn't just about timemanagement.
It's about altering how weconnect.
Stick around to discover waysto undo the damage that we're
causing.
Did you know a goldfish canfocus longer than the average

(01:34):
human?
That's right, a goldfish.
Research shows that ourattention span is now just 8.25
seconds compared to a goldfish'snine seconds.
Think about that.
Since 2000, our ability toconcentrate has dropped by about
25%, while screen time hassteadily increased.

(01:55):
Adults now spend over sevenhours daily looking at screens.
And this just isn't aboutwasted time.
It's physically altering ourbrains.
Heavy screen use leads tocortical thinning in areas of
the brain responsible forempathy, emotional regulation,
and decision making.
And this helps explain whystaying focused during

(02:15):
conversations feels harder thanever.
Constantly switching betweenapps, messages, and videos
trains our brains to crave newstimuli, fragmenting attention
and weakening deeper cognitiveabilities.
What we call multitasking isreally just rapid attention
switching, and it comes at acost.

(02:35):
Each time you check anotification mid-conversation,
your brain needs nearly 25minutes to fully refocus.
This is why meetings withdevices present result in poor
information retention comparedto those without.
The so-called goldfish effectis most obvious in social
settings.
Interrupted eye contact,forgotten details, and shallow

(02:58):
conversations that never godeeper because no one sustains
attention long enough.
The solution isn't simplytrying harder to focus.
Our brains have adapted to thishigh stimulus environment and
rebuilding the attention takestime.
Studies show measurableimprovements in focus and
emotional processing after justone month of reduced screen use.

And here's the thing (03:21):
it starts with awareness.
Catching yourself when youinstinctively reach for your
phone out of boredom ordiscomfort.
Teens who cut recreationalscreen time to under three hours
a day improve their attentionspans within six weeks.
Adults see similar benefits bysetting simple boundaries, like
keeping phones out of bedroomsor disabling non-essential

(03:43):
notifications.
These small changes help thebrain recover its capacity for
sustained focus.
This attention crisis goesbeyond productivity.
Fragmented focus damagesrelationships by making others
feel undervalued.
Think about this.
Checking your phone during aconversation signals social

(04:05):
rejection, which the brainprocesses similar to physical
pain.
Over time, thesemicro-rejections erode trust and
connection, often without useven realizing it.
Three-quarters of young adultsnow choose texting over phone
calls, believing it's moreefficient.
However, MIT research revealstext-based communication filters

(04:29):
out 80% of the emotional cuespresent in face-to-face
conversations, transformingdialogue into information
exchange rather than ameaningful connection.
Couples resolving arguments viatext take three times longer to
reach an understanding comparedto in-person discussions.
The medium itself alters how weprocess emotions, not just the

(04:51):
absence of body language.
Think about this.
The average person responds toa text within 90 seconds.
Faster than the brain completesemotional processing.
This creates a mismatch.
The sender feels the fullemotional weight of their words,
while the recipient receivesstripped-down text, guessing at

(05:11):
tone and intent.
A 2023 University of Californiastudy found people misinterpret
text 65% more often than spokenconversations.
Simple phrases like fine orwhatever often spark confusion
or conflict without vocalinflection to clarify meaning.
Imagine texting, we need totalk to a friend, only to have

(05:38):
them panic over a non-issuebecause they misread your tone.
Digital conflict escalatesquickly for the same reason.
Without nonverbal cues like aconciliatory smile or softening
eye contact, minor disagreementscan balloon into major
arguments.
Couples who primarilycommunicate via text report more

(06:00):
frequent misunderstandings andlower relationship satisfaction.
The problem extends to workteams where relying on Slack or
email for complex discussionsleads to 40% more
miscommunication incidents thanregular video calls.
Texting also limits emotionalexpression.
Rapid fire exchanges averagefewer than six words per

(06:22):
message, leave little room forvulnerability or nuance.
Psychologists note thatself-disclosure decreases by 30%
in text-based communicationcompared to voice interactions.
How often do you use emojis?
While they are helpful forbasic tone, they lack
specificity.
A smiling emoji might signalhappiness, sarcasm, or

(06:47):
nervousness, depending oncontext.
Stanford researchers found thatadding emojis to ambiguous
messages increasesmisinterpretation by almost 22%.
Switching to voice messagesimproves emotional accuracy by
55%, as a human voice conveysmeaning through pace, pitch, and

(07:08):
pauses.
Video calls restore about 70%of nonverbal cues, making them
ideal for sensitive.
The content you scroll throughdaily alters your emotional

(07:30):
capacity.
Social platforms optimize forengagement, prioritizing content
that triggers immediatereactions over nuanced emotional
exchanges.
Think about it.
These platforms want to keepyou engaged.
This constant exposure trainsyour brain to expect emotional

(07:51):
stimulation and quick burstsrather than gradual sustained
connection.
Euroscientists observed MRIscans, found that heavy social
media users showed 29% lessactivation in the amygdala, the
brain's emotional processingcenter, when witnessing
real-world distress compared tolight users.

(08:13):
This reduced activationdiminishes the ability to
empathize with others' emotions,contributing to the 42% of
frequent users who reportfeeling emotionally detached
from offline relationships.
The platform economy monetizesattention by hijacking natural
emotional rhythms.
Each notification delivers amicro dose of dopamine, the

(08:35):
neurotransmitter associated withreward seeding.
For example, a notificationinterrupting a heartfelt
conversation can shift focusfrom emotional connection to the
instant gratification ofchecking a like or comment.
Real human bonding, however,relies on oxytocin, which builds

(08:57):
gradually through sharedexperiences and physical
presence.
Dopamine-driven interactionsconditioned brains to prefer the
quick hit of a notificationover the slow reward of a
face-to-face connection.
One study tracking collegeroommates found that those who
communicated primarily throughapps showed 50% lower oxytocin

(09:19):
levels during shared activitiescompared to those who limited
digital communication.
This shift has tangible socialconsequences.
Stanford researchers discoveredthat people retain 70% less
information about friends' liveswhen following them primarily
through social media versushaving direct conversations.
Emotional outsourcing compoundsthis issue.

(09:42):
Many now rely on AI tools tohandle interpersonal
communication, such as draftingdifficult personal messages.
While convenient, this practiceerases the mental work involved
in genuine emotionalexpression.
The emotional numbing effectfollows predictive patterns.
Functional MRI scans revealthat after two weeks of heavy

(10:04):
social media use, subjects showreduced activity in emotion
processing regions and areasresponsible for moral reasoning
and self-reflection.
Reaction buttons furtherdistort emotional development.
Training users to qualifyfeelings into simplistic
responses.
A University of Pennsylvaniastudy found that participants
describing in-person experiencesuse three times more emotional

(10:28):
nuance than those documentingonline interactions.
But here's the thing.
How about this?
Just the mere physical presenceof a smartphone changes

(10:52):
conversations even when no one'stouching it.
Imagine a family dinner where aphone sits on the table,
untouched but visible.
Conversations feel stilted.
Moments of connection arefleeting, and everyone seems
slightly distracted.
And research backs this up.
A Virginia Tech study foundthat simply having a phone

(11:14):
visible reduces conversationquality by 40%.
Participants reported feelingless connected, remembered fewer
details, and described theinteractions as less satisfying
compared to phone-freeconversations.
this effect occurs whether the phone
belongs to you or someone else.
And psychologists attributethis to continuous partial

(11:36):
attention.
Our brains stay semi-engagedwith the possibility of
notifications, splitting focusbetween the conversation and the
potential digitalinterruptions.
This mental juggling drainscognitive resources that would
otherwise enhance listening andresponding.
And the social impacts arestriking.
A University of Essex studyrevealed that participants felt

(11:57):
less valued when theconversation partners glanced at
their phones, even for lessthan three seconds.
These brief glances register assubtle social rejection,
triggering a sensitivity thatevolved to detect threats but
now misfires in the digital age.
Workplaces reflect similarpatterns.
A survey found 58% of employeesmultitask during virtual

(12:21):
meetings, often checking emailsor messaging apps.
Follow-up tests showed theseworkers retained 38% less
information than their fullyattentive colleagues.
Yet many overestimate theircomprehension, highlighting the
illusion of multitaskingcompetence.
How many of you all fit in thatcategory?

(12:41):
This normalization of dividedattention has broader
consequences.
Eye contact, a key marker ofengagement, has decreased by 60%
since 2010 among frequentscreen users.
What once seemed rude now feelsroutine.
But brain scans reveal a deepercost.
Weaker connections betweenregions responsible for focus

(13:06):
and emotional regulation.
Over time, heavy device useleads to habitual attention
fragmentation, a state ofsemi-distraction that persists
even without devices.
Recovery takes longer, makingsustained focus harder to
achieve.
But again, solutions exist.
Research for Microsoft's HumanFactors Lab shows that creating

(13:30):
tech-free zones, like diningtables, helps build attention
capacity.
Even three device-free mealsper week yielded cognitive
benefits similar to fulldetoxes.
Physical separation, likeleaving phones in another room,
proves it especially effective,reducing subconscious cognitive

(13:50):
load and allowing richer, moremeaningful interactions.
Again, you don't need toabandon technology to repair
your attention span.
Just implement targetedboundaries.
One effective method is the90-20 rule.
This was developed by Stanfordresearchers after studying
cognitive performance patterns.
The idea is simple.

(14:11):
Work in uninterrupted 90-minuteblocks followed by 20-minute
breaks spent completely offline.
For example, imagine startingyour morning with a focused work
session, then stepping outsidefor a short walk or enjoying a
cup of coffee by the window.
These analog breaks allow yourbrain to reset more effectively

(14:32):
than switching between digitaltabs, aligning with natural
attention cycles, and preventingthe cognitive drain of constant
task switching.
Cold turkey approaches oftenfail because smartphones fulfill
genuine human needs, albeitinefficiently.
Instead of eliminating screensentirely, consider replacing 30
minutes of nightly scrollingwith a phone call to a friend or

(14:53):
family member.
A University of Pennsylvaniastudy found the simple change
reduced loneliness scores by 38%within three weeks.
In contrast, those who triedeliminating evening screens
entirely often relapse, provingmoderation is more sustainable
than elimination for lastingchange.
Small technical adjustments canyield significant benefits.

(15:17):
For instance, installing bluelight filters on devices
improves sleep quality, whichenhances next day focus and
social presence.
Participants using night modesettings reported feeling more
engaged in morning conversationscompared to those exposed to
unfiltered screens before bed.
These minor tweaks requireminimal effort but deliver

(15:40):
measurable neurologicalbenefits, which is why phone
manufacturers now include thosefeatures automatically.
Another powerful habit isavoiding screens for the first
90 minutes after waking.
Neuroscience research showsthis prevents cognitive
fragmentation for up to sixhours, allowing the prefrontal
cortex to activate fully, forexample.

(16:01):
Delaying phone use until afterbreakfast can improve
mid-afternoon concentration by31%, compared to starting the
day with emails or social media.
Together, these strategies forma sustainable system that
enhances focus without treatingtechnology as the enemy.
The 90-20 rule combats theattention fragmentation.

(16:22):
Scheduled scrolling satisfiesnovelty cravings, and morning
tech fasting protects peak focuswindows.
Over time, these changes leadto richer offline interactions
and a genuine preference forless fragmented experiences,
making the benefitsself-reinforcing.

(16:42):
The first few days of reducedscreen time often feel
uncomfortable.
But by day five, things beginto shift.
Clinical data shows that withintwo weeks of implementing focus
blocks, people report deeper,more meaningful conversations.
Face-to-face interactionincreases data wave activity in
the brain, which facilitatesemotional connection and memory

(17:06):
formation.
In fact, participants in theseinteractions remembered 55% more
details about conversationscompared to those distracted by
devices.
Memory systems reawakenalongside attention.
Neuroimaging reveals thatundistracted social interactions
activate both hippocampus andsensory processing areas,

(17:28):
creating richer memory traces.
One participant shared how shevividly remembered not just her
friend's words during a breakup,but the way the afternoon light
caught her tears and how hervoice cracked.
These multi-sensory memoriesleave stronger emotional
imprints than the fragmentedrecall typical of
phone-interrupted talks.
As attention stabilizes, peoplenaturally gravitate toward more

(17:51):
substantive interactions.
Early on, trial participantsoften described awkward silences
during focus practice.
By week three, these samepauses were seen as space to
think or comfortable quiet.
And brain scans confirmed thisshift to showing increased

(18:11):
prefrontal cortex activityduring pauses, indicating deeper
cognitive processing ratherthan anxiety.
Over time, what starts as aconscious effort becomes an
automatic preference.
An MRI study showed that after30 days of reduced screen time,
the brain's reward centerresponds more strongly to real
social cues than to social medianotifications.

(18:34):
One participant noted, Istopped wanting to check my
phone because whatever washappening in the room got more
interesting.
Small physical changes reflectthis transformation.
Eye contact duration nearlydoubles after four weeks, and
pupillary synchrony andunconscious mirroring of pupils'
dilation linked to empathyimproves significantly.

(18:57):
One participant described howholding eye contact during a
difficult conversation withtheir partner helped them
connect in a way they hadn't inyears.
And the benefits extend beyondpersonal relationships.
Teachers in phone-freeclassrooms reported students
asking more follow-up questionsand making unexpected conceptual
connections.
Critically, these gains don'trequire perfection.

(19:19):
Even participants whooccasionally lapse into old
habits showed similarimprovements, proving that
consistent effort, not flawlessexecution, drives change.
Early discomfort signalsgrowth, and within months,
quality engagement becomessecond nature.
Keep in mind, human connectionhasn't disappeared.

(19:41):
We've just traded for digitaldistractions.
That buzz during dinner?
Challenge yourself to silenceit.
Research shows eachinterruption forces your brain
to reset, draining focus andpresence.
But change is easier than youthink.
Start with one device-free meala day.
Within two weeks, 68% of peoplereport deeper conversations.

(20:04):
Face-to-face interactions boostfate aways by 40%, helping your
brain rebuild and yourattention span grow.
Relationships don't thrive onmore communication, but better
communication.
The solution has always beenwithin reach.
Put the phone down, look up,and reconnect where it matters
most.
Remember, we're not looking forperfection.

(20:27):
We just want to make progress.
Be sure to visitspeakingwithconfidence
podcast.com to get your freeebook, The Top 21 Challenges for
Public Speakers and How toOvercome Them.
You can also register for theForming for Public Speaking
course.
Always remember, your voice hasthe power to change the world.
We'll talk to you next time.
Take care.