July 7, 2025 • 67 mins
What do boxing, public speaking, and personal transformation have in common? For Cam F. Awesome, everything.
In this episode of Speaking With Confidence, I sit down with Cam, a 12-time national boxing champion, motivational speaker, and self-described “motivational vegan,” to talk about the mindset behind powerful communication and unstoppable resilience.
Cam doesn’t just tell a comeback story, he lives one. Bullied as a kid and cut from every team he tried out for, Cam found boxing not as a passion, but as the only option left. He turned that into a decorated amateur career and a life dedicated to helping others reframe their inner narratives.
From the ring to the stage, Cam reveals the mental techniques that helped him dominate in the ring and how they can help you dominate your self-doubt. Whether you're battling imposter syndrome, speaking anxiety, or just trying to show up more authentically, this conversation offers a no-fluff roadmap to lasting confidence.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why confidence starts with your internal dialogue, not applause or approval
- Cam’s daily “gratitude reps” that help him stay mentally strong and emotionally grounded
- How to win conversations (and audiences) using storytelling techniques from the boxing ring
- Why imposter syndrome is often just your brain trying to protect you—and how to punch back
- The simple formula: belief + action = inevitable results
If you’ve ever felt like your fear of failing is louder than your voice, Cam’s philosophy will rewire the way you think. Because, as he says, “If you can fail without being discouraged, success becomes inevitable.”
Connect with Cam:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/camfawesome/
https://www.facebook.com/CamFAwesome
https://www.instagram.com/camfawesome/
http://www.youtube.com/@CamFAwesome
Visit TimNewmanSpeaks.com to grab your free eBook, The Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and How to Overcome Them, and start building the confidence you deserve!
Want to be a guest on Speaking With Confidence? Send Tim Newman a message on PodMatch
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Episode Transcript
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Tim (00:08):
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, a podcast that
helps you build the soft skillsthat lead to real results
communication, storytelling,public speaking and showing up
with confidence in everyconversation that counts.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide your journey
to become a powerfulcommunicator.
Make sure you hit the subscribebutton so you never miss an
(00:29):
episode.
Today's guest is Aw esome He'sa 12-time national boxing
champion, three-time Olympictrials champion and former
captain of the USA NationalBoxing Team.
Beyond the ring, cam has builta career as a motivational
speaker, sharing his journey ofresilience, positive mindset and
overcoming adversity withaudiences around the country,
(00:52):
from being bullied as a kid tobecoming one of the most
decorated amateur boxers in UShistory.
His story is as inspiring as itis powerful.
He's also the author ofBecoming Awesome how to Make
Success Inevitable and is hereto drop some serious wisdom on
you, cam.
Welcome to the show I'm excitedfor today.
Cam (01:10):
Oh, thanks for having me, Tim.
It's fun to be here.
Tim (01:13):
Well, you know, I love all my guests, but I really like it
when I have somebody from thesport industry come on, you know
, because we have somecommonalities, we have some of
the same types of mindset, typesof things.
But here's a question I havefor you how much fun is life for
you right now?
I mean, you're traveling allover the place and every time I
see you you seem to have a smileor you're laughing.
(01:36):
How much so?
How much fun is life right now?
Cam (01:38):
Well, life is dope.
Uh, I comparing it to wherelife used to be.
Oh man, things, things are.
Things are in the up and up,and I've learned to enjoy it.
Instead of wondering when, when, instead of taking the the
route of oh, when's the shoegonna drop, or when things gonna
change, it's like, no, I'm justhappy, uh, but I mean, it's not
(02:00):
, I'm not always happy, it's a,it's a lot of conscious work to
be this happy.
Tim (02:07):
Yeah, and I kind of laugh sometimes because you know I've
been accused of having restingbitch face.
You know I'm a very emotionalperson.
I really am, but you can't evertell, cause I'm going to show
you my happy face and I'm gonnashow you my sad face.
It's the same, I mean it's,it's just, I mean it's.
(02:27):
But what's going on inside isyou know I'm, I'm, you know a
lot like you.
Uh, I'm happy I'm, you know I'm.
I look at things from apositive mindset and and and
always looking to, you know, to,to, to make sure that that
things are, are are going wellfor me, to to to make sure that
things are going well for for me, and to and to be able to help
other people.
Cam (02:47):
Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm, yeah, I'm big on that with because
it's like it's it's work.
Like when you see someone withabs some of y'all are born with
them and I don't like you, butfor the most part it's like when
you see someone with, like aphysical like, oh, you don't
realize the work it takes, themaintenance and it just
(03:08):
constantly, but it's to havethat thing that you want, and
for me, that thing is notnecessarily abs, it's being
happy yeah, and, and that'sthat's that's so important, and
it's happy with you, not happywith what society says you
should be happy with oh yeah, Idon't care anything about what
most people think.
Like I value my reputationenough because I value my
reputation.
I care what people think of me,but I don't really.
(03:31):
Most people aren't happy.
I can't judge my level ofhappiness off of unhappy people,
because misery loves companyand when I was at my least
happiest I wasn't happy seeinghappy people.
Tim (03:44):
Right, right, it made you feel bad because they were happy
and you weren't.
Cam (03:49):
Yeah, they had something you didn't, yeah, and that's
something that I struggled with.
It's something I constantlystill work on.
But now, when I'm in a happyplace, if something I do makes
someone else unhappy, I can'tlet that change my action,
because then both of us aregoing to be happy.
I'm going to be unhappy, I'mhappy, and then they're going to
(04:11):
be kind of happy, becausemisery loves company.
Tim (04:13):
Right and say ha ha, I made you unhappy.
Now I did it and that's.
But that's the other thing.
How long did it take you tounderstand or grasp the concept
that you, you have no controlover how other people you know
I'm going to do airfingers,quote feel?
Cam (04:28):
Yeah, still grappling with that because, yeah, it's still a
process every day, but I thinkin 2012, I got kicked off the
Olympic team and I was soworried about what other people
were thinking and I wasembarrassed.
And turns out, before theOlympics even happened, most
people had forgot I wasn't evengoing wow, wow that.
Tim (04:53):
That just hit me in the stomach dude, yeah, I heard my
ego.
Cam (04:56):
I was like, oh wait, they, because I had.
I thought like the whole worldwas conspiring against me and
and at that moment I realized,oh no, no one cares.
Tim (05:09):
Wow, and you know I talk about that Nobody really cares.
You know and see, this is wherewe project ourselves, right, I
talk about things that peoplenobody cares when.
When we're when we're talking,when we're public speaking, and
I'm thinking I'm putting myselfin your shoes, where you're a
high profile athlete, peopleknow who you are and, wow, I
(05:30):
would think that people wouldcare about, about you, but the
reality is they, they stilldon't.
Cam (05:34):
No, I don't care how great of a chiefs fan you are, you
haven't thought about PatrickMahomes in the last few months.
It's just when it's convenientfor you, it's your entertainment
, but that's his life.
Wow Again thanks for bringingme back to ground level.
It's freeing, though.
Tim (05:57):
It is If you remember it and embrace it right and not
look at it from.
I I guess the negative aspectthat, oh, nobody really cares
because that's not it either.
Oh, no, but it's like oh no, itwas freeing.
Cam (06:12):
No one get one of the greatest performances I've ever
seen in my life.
I don't like going to outdoor.
I don't.
I don't like going to events.
Usually if I'm an event, I'meither paid to be there or it's
a comedy show.
I'm going to enjoy it.
But my girl was like, hey,let's go to this outdoor thing
in the park and not really myjam.
But she goes to so many thingsshe doesn't want to go to.
(06:33):
Right, like I'll just show upwith my smile, right, and I'm
there watching and there's an mcintroducing like performers or
whatever, and I'm zoned in onthe mc because I'm like that's
me imc events.
Right, maybe they could book menext year.
Because I go straight into workmode and I'm like, let me
evaluate this mc.
And he's going through hislines off to the side and no one
(06:54):
sees him.
But I'm watching him.
He's going over his lines andhe gets up there and he does it
and people clap and no one cares, like he, I, I didn't even
listen to what he said and atthat moment I realized, oh, he
thinks his job is so importantand we think our job is so
important that we put so muchpressure on ourselves, right,
(07:15):
unnecessary pressure.
And I saw it didn't reallymatter.
The next performance came up onstage and then he came up after
and he said thank you and theyall clapped and and to me it was
the most freeing thing of mycareer where I realized no one
cares.
So beautiful, right, you care,you care, because you're going
(07:36):
to be like like in a week.
No one's going to remember.
You remember the guy whoannounced everyone he flubbed a
line.
Tim (07:42):
Oh, we hate that guy Right.
Never bring him back again.
Yeah god, but you but to.
But to your point, though.
You care about what you do,because it's it's you and and
what you do, and, and you wantto make sure that you're doing a
good job and you want to be thebest at what you're doing,
whether other people care aboutit or not.
(08:03):
It's that's that internal drive, that that that moves us.
It's not, it's not that, it'snot that external thing, it's
not the money, it's.
It's not the, the fame and theawards where there's some of
that though, but but it's thatmore that internal drive yeah,
it's the internal drive and andthe awards and money.
Cam (08:20):
That's just how you keep score right, but that's not the
game I'm playing, exactly Like I.
I, of course, and I'll just saythe caveat of as long, my goal
in life for success for me is ifI can fill my gas tank without
doing math.
Well, I've won, I've won.
Tim (08:38):
We did it today.
Cam (08:39):
Yeah, we, we did it, I didn't, I didn't carry the one,
the one.
The dollar amount is higherthan the pump number.
Tim (08:47):
That's a win for me.
Baby, let's do it.
That's awesome.
You know you started doingsomething a long time ago and
that's every morning when youwake up.
You know you write down in yourjournal 10 things that you're
grateful for.
Are you still doing that?
Oh yeah, Every day since july26 2021 do you mind sharing just
(09:12):
a couple of them with us?
Yeah, that you did today, yeahuh.
Cam (09:21):
So this morning.
So uh again.
So these are I I write.
The reason why I do this is Isaw uh.
So I changed my last name toawesome and since that people
have been sending me pictures oftheir socks that say I am
awesome.
Okay, part of the game.
People tag me and I am awesomestuff.
I love it, it brings joy to mylife.
But people have beenspecifically sending me pictures
(09:43):
of their socks and underwear.
I don't know why.
And then one day I was at mybuddy's house and he says oh my
God, the sock ladies in thebasement and I was like that's
the weirdest sentence I've everheard.
But his wife's best friend owneda sock company and it's called
notes to self.
She puts positive affirmationson socks because your brain is
(10:05):
most receptive to informationfirst thing in the morning and
her best seller is I am awesomebecause it's like I'm courageous
, I'm brave.
It's all different ones, but Iam awesome is everyone's
favorite.
So people have been sending mepictures of this lady socks and
so happened.
I happened to meet her in myfriend's house.
She explains to me the conceptof the business and why she did
(10:28):
it, and the brain, how the brainworks, and a light bulb went
off.
I was like, well, how do weusually start our day?
Well, usually we, we hit snoozeand we do math in nine minute
increments, right.
And then we check our phones.
The news If it bleeds, it leadssocial media.
The worst gets shown first.
Yeah, so we just download abunch of news and negative stuff
(10:50):
first thing in our morning.
So I decided I was like, sinceI met her, I was like, all right
, I am going to write a list of10 things I'm grateful for every
morning, cause it's yourreticular activating system.
Your brain takes in billions ofbits of information every.
Your eyes can see everything,but it only shows you what it
thinks, it believes.
You're interested in one fact.
If you ever look at a document,it's like a bunch of words, but
(11:12):
you see the word sex.
You find.
You just find that word.
It's like you because we're prethis vision.
Tim (11:18):
Okay, you just called me out here.
Cam (11:20):
I mean, what's up with that is that but yeah, and it or the
curse word, something like it'swhat your brain searches.
So if your brain takes inbillions of bits of information,
it only gives you 35 bits.
It shows you what you believeit's looking for.
What you seek is what you find.
So let's say you go shoppingfor a yellow car all weekend.
You don't buy a yellow car, butafter that you start seeing
(11:43):
yellow cars everywhere.
Right, that's your reticularactivating system at work.
The second you said hey, I'mlooking for yellow car.
It started to point it out.
It's why, whichever car youhappen to drive seems to be one
of the most popular cars on theroad exactly it's not.
It's not what your brain'slooking for.
So I started to write a list of10 things I was grateful for
every morning, because if Istart my day looking for a
(12:05):
yellow car, I'll see yellow cars.
If I start my day with murder,death, destruction, rape and
genocide for the news, that'swhat I'm going to find.
But if I start my day with 10things going right, I'll just
continuously find more thingsgoing right in my life.
Right, so I'll tell you thislist, but they're not these
great, huge things.
Right, but they don't reallyhave to be either.
(12:27):
No, because they're all great.
So the first thing on my listI'm grateful to find sniper
elite 4.
It's a game on the nintendoswitch.
So my best friend and I we'velived together since we're 16.
People grow up and they getmarried and related.
So he lives, he.
He lives again today.
I live in austin now, but wewe're still best friends to this
(12:48):
day and we talk all the time.
So we don't play video gameslike we used to back in the day.
But we play video games now,but we only allow ourselves to
play a game that neither of usplay, and the only time we can
play is with each other oh, okayso one of us can't get better
than the other and it's alwayscompetitive because we just talk
crap.
That's what we like to do.
So we picked NHL.
So we'd play hockey, becauseneither of us care for it, but
(13:12):
it's just something to talk junkover.
Well, he bought a NintendoSwitch, so I had to buy a Switch
, and we play this sniper elitegame and instead of it being
competitive because we're alwaystalking down to each other and
it's like that's why your motherdoesn't love you, and just
terrible things we say this game, we're on the same team and
we're encouraging each other andit's like, oh, yeah, you got it
(13:34):
.
And I was like, oh, we've justbeen celebrating each other for
a lot lately and so that was thefirst thing on my list.
Like I'm grateful to find thatgame because it connected me
with Matt Mays a little bit more.
Yeah, that was the first thingon my list.
Tim (13:49):
That's all that's.
That's an awesome way to lookat it and, again, it's a change
in mindset.
Yeah, Even though do you knowthe the trash talk that that we
do as guys with each other?
It's all good and it's all funand games.
There's still that hint ofnegativity.
But to turn it around and andturn it into a positive and and
(14:10):
kind of kind of that that malebonding that doesn't generally
happen when you get to be older,right, because, as like you
said, you, you, as you get growup, you you get married, you
have kids, you move away and youthere are other other things
that are pulling into your timeand resources.
You know both, both you knowphysical, mental and financial.
(14:31):
You have less time to to tobond with your friends.
Cam (14:36):
Yeah, man, life gets in the way, and then you have kids,
and then they have their friends, and then you have your partner
, and then your partner has herfriends, and then it's like your
circle starts to change andthen the the free time you have
changes.
And then, when you do have freetime, instead of spending it
with your friend, you're justlike you're just trying to
(14:56):
process life, right?
so you usually probably justdrink or something you drink
with your friends friends,that's the time but I became
sober, so that's not an optionfor me anymore because we can't
moderate things that's well,there's no myself I.
Tim (15:13):
I can't moderate food.
You know, you brought food alittle bit and that's you know,
that's I.
I've worked hard on this bodyyou know, I don't.
I don't have the abs and I workhard at it, you know.
But that is one of the thingsthat I and I don't even the abs,
and I work hard at it.
Cam (15:25):
That is one of the things that I and I don't even speak
about this, but the reason why Idid the vegan thing.
I lost the vet bet and had todo it for 28 days and I have
such a negative relationshipwith food.
It's unhealthy, right.
There's no better feeling.
Best feeling in the worldEating, eating till I hate
myself and everyone around me,falling asleep and then eating
that same food in three hourswhen I wake up from my nap at
(15:47):
room temperature.
Oh that feeling.
Tim (15:51):
Well, let's get into that a little bit, because you know,
when you were a kid, thebullying you know, being a
little overweight and beingbullied and those types of
things.
Those are the things that drivethat.
That drive that, that, um, therelationship with food or
whatever relationship it is with.
It could be with looks, itcould be with clothes, it could
(16:11):
be with material things, but youknow, for at least for me, it
was with with food, and, and Idon't want to put words in your
mouth for you, but but yeah, Imean, and how did, how did you
deal with that?
And obviously it's, it's a,it's something that's that's led
you to to where you are now,with with, with what you do, and
(16:33):
and and being a boxing champion.
But how did you, how did youdeal with that as, as a, as a
young kid?
Cam (16:40):
As a young kid I uh played video games because you didn't
have to be the fastest, because,like, when you're the bigger
kids, like yeah, for tug or waryou come in clutch, but no one's
like picking you for anythingelse but video games.
It's like it's easier, uh, andso I've.
I found myself just stayinginside often and then I had the
(17:04):
motivator of being superinsecure and guys are dating and
I want a girlfriend one day andI didn't like my body and I
lacked confidence and I thoughtjoining the gym would help that.
And never did I considerchanging my eating habits.
(17:25):
Right, it never occurred to me.
No question, just eat less.
I was like, oh no, I guess Ihave to work out more or eat
healthier.
No thanks.
Tim (17:35):
No, what's that mean?
I'm not doing that.
Cam (17:37):
I, bro, I was known as the.
I was the number one boxer inthe country In 2011,.
I had 76 percent body fat and Iremember another boxer that I
beat had like.
It was like, yeah, that's whyyou're fat.
I was like 36 percent body fat,that's six percent for each
national championship, and thatwas that was a good burn.
(17:59):
I remember back in the day.
But I was fat, bro, and becauseI figured out how to win
without having to change the wayI ate, it was, it was a.
Tim (18:10):
It was such a crutch yeah, and I think that's what that, to
me, that leads into some of thethings, some of the mentality
things and your thought processthat that came up with, like if
you don't get hit, you can'tlose.
Oh, that's a bit.
Cam (18:31):
Yeah, the score.
How about that, the scoresystem?
If you hit me, you get a point.
If I hit you, I get a point.
If I hit you once and then runfrom you until you're too tired
to hit me, I won.
You said I have to be in thering for three minutes in a
round.
You didn't have to fight forthe whole three minutes, Right?
Tim (18:46):
right.
Yeah, it's genius and that'shonestly.
That's kind of how my brainworks too.
I'm like the master of gettingout of things that I don't want
to do.
I really am.
Cam (19:01):
Or we can call you a master of efficiency.
There you go.
Tim (19:06):
I like that too, you know, and so so when you, when you got
hit, how did that change yourthinking though?
Because, because, obviously, asa boxer, I mean you're going to
, you're going to get hit, nomatter how how good you are,
(19:27):
because someone's going to studyyour, your, your style, and
they're going to find a weaknessand they're going to, they're
going to land one.
And then you have to say, okay,I've got, I've got, I've got to
learn to, to, to stop thatAvenue attack as well.
Cam (19:40):
Yeah.
So I think we all tellourselves a story and in and we
all live in our own littlerealities, in our own bubbles.
But fighting is one of the rareoccasions where our realities
clash.
So if we're fighting, it's likein your mind you know you're
gonna win my wind, I know I'mgonna win.
In my story, I'm gonna win yourstory, you're gonna win.
We get in the ring to to writethe story, right and when.
(20:05):
So you asked me what I thinkwhen I get hit, I am.
I don't care about my mind.
I'm in your mind completelybecause I want.
I want to manipulate the storyyou're telling yourself, because
that's how I win.
I need you to tell you, I needyou to tell you the story that
I'm gonna win.
Okay, so my favorite punch isnot a punch.
So and it's a punch I work outthe most.
(20:27):
Most guys are right-handed.
You throw a jab in thebeginning of the fight.
You throw a jab, I slip, Ithrow an uppercut under your jab
.
It's my favorite punch and itsnaps a guy's head back.
It's beautiful, right.
Second time you throw your jab,I slip uppercut.
Third time, slip uppercut,landing it with ease.
The fourth time you throw yourjab, I slip.
You close your eyes because youknow you're about to get hit,
(20:49):
but the punch never comes andyou wait an extra second.
Then you eventually open youreyes.
It's me smiling.
Tim (20:58):
Oh man.
Cam (20:59):
I need you to know that anytime you throw that punch,
I'm going to punish you.
Now, in your mind, you'retelling yourself okay, I haven't
dealt with this before.
Cam knows something I don'tknow.
This isn't looking good for meright and then I just need you
to throw a punch, me to slip andme just to win a cool even
(21:20):
exchange where I could hit youtwice, but I only get you once,
because I need you to think Ican hit you at will.
Right, this isn't true at thispoint, but by the second round
you're already starting to tellyourself these stories right at
this point.
Second round you're a one-handedfighter because you've
subconsciously stopped usingyour jab.
If I can do that with your,your other hand.
(21:44):
Now, if you ever seen a boxingmatch, you're like the guy
trained for months from thefight.
He's not throwing any punches,right, he's getting
subconsciously trained not to.
Every time he throws that punchhe gets punished.
So you stop throwing the punch.
Now you start telling yourself.
Tim starts telling himself ohman, cam is in better shape than
me.
Cam's got me figured out.
I can't even throw my jab.
That's my favorite punch.
(22:05):
I don't.
I'm not sure what to do.
You're flustered and you lookover at me and I'm smiling.
The end of the first roundhappens.
You sit down in frustration andexhaustion and you look over at
me.
I don't sit down in betweenrounds, I'm looking at you and
I'm looking down at you becauseI need to know you, to know, tim
, that you're less than me inthat moment in that ring outside
(22:27):
, outside the ring, you mighthave a better life than me, but
inside that ring, tim, you'remine, and whether that's true or
not, I need you to believe that.
And by the time you come outfor the second round, you're not
the same human being anymore,right.
Tim (22:41):
Right, and then I guess it multiplies by the time you go on
to the third round and thenit's, it's, it's over.
At that point it was it's over,it's over going to the second
round.
But my guess is the mentaldefeat of that guy going to the
third round, it's truly over.
Cam (23:00):
Let me tell you, when it happens there's an involuntary
exhale, it's like he's there andhe's like that's his soul
leaving his body.
Oh, that's awesome, I love it.
Oh, that's awesome, I love it,that's awesome.
Not an original quote, that'sjeremiah graziano.
I'll never steal that from him,but that feeling of that his,
his soul leaving his body,that's when I take your manhood
(23:20):
from you.
Tim (23:22):
That to me, oh, that's the greatest feeling so how do you
transfer that into outside ofthe ring you know that mentality
outside of the ring, into whatyou're doing now, because I mean
what you're doing now, thegreat work that you're doing.
You're traveling all over theplace, you're talking to people
(23:43):
all over the place.
What I really like is when yougo and you talk to schools and
you're talking to kids.
You talk to schools and you'retalking to kids.
So how do you take thatmentality and transfer it to
kids and get them to understandthe to, to change the, to change
their outlook, to change howthey that mental?
Cam (23:59):
mindset.
I explained to them my storyand I try to, so I do standard
comedy I try to make all.
I tell stories and all thestories have jokes, morals and
messages attached to it.
Because my idea if kids arelist, all the stories have jokes
, morals and messages attachedto it.
Because my idea if kids arelist, if they're laughing
they're listening.
If they're listening they'relearning.
If they're learning.
I did my job, so I share mystory and I share this story
(24:20):
about how I talk to myself.
And then I asked them how dothey talk themselves?
Because we all tell ourselves astory.
Which character do we play inthat story?
Tim (24:31):
Okay.
Cam (24:34):
Are you the victim in your story?
Are you the main character?
Are you the person who's goingto win in that story?
What's the story you tellyourself?
And I remind them that theyhave the power to change the
script.
In 2012, I decided to rewrite mystory by by legally changing my
name and trying to become theperson that I wanted to be, and
(24:57):
I had the power to do thatbecause of the story.
I didn't.
I didn't become different.
So in high school uh, my senioryear of high school I moved
from new york to florida right,and this would have been
devastating for most people, butI realized I could.
I could become whoever I wanted.
We could develop a jamaicanaccent and no, no, no, the
difference.
(25:17):
I did not develop a jamaicanaccent, but I did decide to be
this really cool outgoing funguy because no one knew anybody
in Florida and hook line andsinker Tim.
Everyone bought it.
I was this really cool dude.
Years later, now that I lookback at it, I just changed my
(25:38):
zip code.
I didn't change at all.
The only thing that changed wasthe way I thought of myself.
I was the same person.
The only thing that changed wasmy zip code and the
expectations that other peoplehad on.
So often we fill the role ofwhat we expect other people to
think of us.
They don't really matter.
Tim (26:02):
Think about that.
I say it to my audience.
You know, what other peoplethink about us doesn't really
matter, and it's that what we.
It's what we are tellingourselves that they think about
us.
Cam (26:19):
Yeah, that hit me when I went back to high school.
I went back to my senior yearLast week.
I got to walk.
I've got to go back to New Yorkto walk with Miles at my old
school and, tim, I couldn't waitbecause I was like I was in
better shape now, I wasconfident, I had friends and the
second I walked to that highschool I reverted back into the
(26:41):
unconfident, awkward person Iused to be.
Years later I saw a quoteCharles Hart and Cooley.
Years later I saw quote CharlesHart and Cooley I'm not who I
think I am.
I'm not who you think I am.
I'm who I think you think I am.
I'll say that again for yourlisteners I'm not who I think I
am.
I'm not who you think I amBecause, again, tim, I don't
(27:02):
know what you think.
I can only assume I'm what Ithink you think I am.
When I got to Florida, Ithought everyone thought I was
this cool outgoing guy and Ifell into that role In New York.
When I went back, I knew whatthey expected of me and I found
myself filling that role,unconsciously and a lot of times
(27:25):
.
We just have to change thepeople we're around if we want
to change who we are have tochange the people we're around.
Tim (27:31):
If we want to change who we are Right and that's so
important too.
You know that the people wesurround ourselves with are
inner circle.
You know that I like to talkabout is you know you get to
choose who your inner circle is,and if you want your inner
circle to be people surroundedby negativity, you're going to
get negative.
If you want to surround it withpeople that are positive,
you're going to get negative.
If you want to surround it withpeople that are positive,
(27:51):
you're going to get positivity.
But you also need to surroundyourself with with people that
are going to be real with youand they're going to give you
the truth.
I mean you can be.
You can surround yourself withpeople that are positive all the
time.
That's not very helpful.
I mean it's it's.
You get positive messages allthe time, but they're not giving
you the the.
What's really happening, tim?
(28:12):
You're screwing up over here,dude.
You need to fix this.
Cam (28:21):
Or you know what?
You did a great job over here,but you, you know, call your
mother.
So, matt, the guy I play cyberleague with, he's that friend,
yo, matt will fight everyone forme.
He'll defend me to the deathdeath.
And as soon as we're in private, he'll put me inside like yo,
get your life together likehe'll.
He, and there's only a fewpeople in my life who can really
pull me aside and I'll reallyreconsider the way I'm living.
(28:42):
Uh, and I, I'm grateful to havea friend like that.
Uh, and you have to keep thosepeople around to check you.
You, yes, protect your neck,but you still got to make keep
those people around to check you.
Yes, Protect your neck, but youstill got to make sure
someone's around to checkyourself or you wreck yourself.
Tim (28:58):
You know, there's a video and I can't.
Every time I go to reference itI forget the guy's name, but
he's a I guess he's a jiu-jitsuinstructor and he's sitting down
and he's talking to hisstudents and he talks about.
He talks about you got as a guy.
You got to have five friendsand and in those five friends he
lists out what they are.
One is a person that's going tokeep it real.
(29:18):
One's a person that's going to,you know, is truly invested in
you, who's happy for you becauseit's you, does.
It's not being jealous.
One's a hit man.
Um, you know it doesn't matterwhat's going on.
Something's going on, you knowand so, but but I, you know, I
think that's so important inthat, in that in in your inner
circle, you do have to havethose people, and that's that's
(29:41):
something you know where we,where we talk about, we don't
really care about what otherpeople think, I'm not talking
about that from your innercircle people, because those are
the people that we choose.
We choose to have them in ourlives.
Cam (29:52):
Yeah, also, we're not eight years old anymore.
Like, don't choose friendsbased off proximity.
Don't be friends with someonebecause they live down the block
from you.
Tim (30:01):
Right.
Cam (30:11):
Hop in your car, go, drive around, be around different
quality people.
Leave your area, if you can, ifyou're trying to change who you
are.
So for me, I have a top fivethat I like to think of, and
this is this is more for aprofessional uh, for goal
setting.
So, whatever your goal is, youshould have a top five people
around that goal, uh.
So, whether it's boxing orspeaking, I'd use them both.
So for boxing, here's, here'show, the format of it boxing the
number one person out of yourtop five to hang out with,
that's the person, your idol,someone you look up to.
(30:34):
This person, you don't everhave to meet them, they don't
even have to be alive.
Call it Muhammad Ali.
That's the pinnacle.
That's the number one.
The number two person is aboxer who is better than me,
physically like, who can beat me, who's like more experience and
skill than I am.
That's my number two.
My goal is to get as good asthat, like.
That's who I'm chasing Right.
(30:57):
My number three person that'sthe person who is just as good
as me, my competitor.
I will never let that personget better than me.
Tim (31:06):
Right.
Cam (31:06):
And that person should never let me get better than
them.
Right, that person is my friend, but we're competitors.
Right, and that person?
should never let me get betterthan them, right?
That person's my friend, butwe're competitors, exactly.
If we're in the gym, he throwsa five punch combination, I
throw a six punch combination.
He goes on a three mile run, Igo on a four mile run, and if he
finds out I go on a four milerun, he goes on a five mile run.
That's who I want, right?
He needs to make meuncomfortable because we're
(31:27):
chasing number two Right.
Comfortable because we'rechasing number two right.
The number four person on thislist.
That's a person you're moreexperienced in, that you're
better than, but is just ashungry as you are.
Tim (31:44):
Oh boy, that's a tough one.
That's a tough one, dude CauseI know there's I don't mean to
interrupt you, but I knowthere's.
There's people mean tointerrupt you, but I know
there's people out there.
But when I look at, and I justand I'm trying to internalize
this as you're talking about it,because I'm not the smartest,
I'm not the fastest, I'm not thestrongest, but I've always been
(32:06):
the person nobody's ever goingto outwork.
So to find somebody on thatlevel, man, that's.
Cam (32:12):
And the thing is it's going to be in its raw, raw form.
Tim (32:16):
Yeah.
Cam (32:17):
And that person is the person you mentor.
Yeah, okay, you see a part ofyou in them, that hunger, that
drive, and even if they havelike they're going in the wrong
direction, they haven't figuredit out but the thing inside them
that makes them like you.
You can't teach that, right.
Tim (32:31):
You can guide him.
Cam (32:34):
And your goal is to guide that person to be better than
you Like.
Give them all the tools, allthe skills, all the resources
Right, and their goal is to bebetter than you.
Again, that number two that youhave you're their number two.
Tim (32:54):
You're their number two, You're their number two, and you
have to be okay with that too.
You have to be okay.
To me that's an ego aside.
Personal growth, helping peopleBecause I think that's our
calling in life anyways is tohelp people.
To put that ego aside, it'sokay if somebody becomes better
than you.
Cam (33:09):
Oh yeah, so my number three person was a boxer named Tony
Mack, because he was a businessowner.
I was a business owner and Ileft it wasn't so much in the
boxing comparison but in thebusiness world comparison Like
he was in my number three.
I was like, all right, me andTony are neck to neck.
He's growing his business, he'sdoing this, I he's doing this,
(33:33):
I'm doing that.
And then at some point tonyleveled up.
He surpassed me.
I'm not supposed to let thathappen right tony's, now my
number two.
Like the thing is, I got noproblem with it because now I
know someone who's?
Doing.
Like everything he's doing Icould do one day.
So now Tony and I relationshipchange.
Well, still, we're still apersonal relationship, but I
(33:54):
call him, I asked him for advice, I asked him for insight and
I'm trying to get as good as heis.
Tim (34:02):
That's awesome yeah.
Cam (34:04):
That's number five.
Number five most importantperson, it's you.
None of those four people willwant to spend any time with you
if you don't want to spend timewith yourself.
Tim (34:18):
Wow, that's something to think about right there.
Seriously, and I, you know, I,I don't know that the majority
of people even think well, Iknow that I know they don't
think about who they are, whothey want to be as individuals,
and who they want to be forother people.
(34:39):
I just know that.
So that's something that peoplereally need to take some time
to consider.
Cam (34:45):
Yeah, don't see anyone as competition.
See them as inspiration.
I just need to know something'spossible, like that Tony Mack
guy I aspire to be like becauseI see what he's done and I could
be like oh, this, that he'slucky.
No, he's not lucky.
He worked really hard to get itHard and what I found in life
(35:05):
is successful people are willingto share all of their secrets
for the cost of a cup of coffee.
How?
about that you sit a Tony Macdown and like, hey, can we meet
some coffee?
I have some questions.
They'll tell you everything youneed to know in life and you
can throw 99% of it away andkeep the 1% that works for you,
but that 1% will be powerful.
Tim (35:27):
Yeah, and you've got to be willing to do that.
You have to be willing tocultivate that relationship and
work on it and then be able toput your ego aside and listen
and put that into practice.
Cam (35:44):
Oh yeah, and what allowed this system to flourish was the
objective measurement of boxing.
You got punched in the face,face it was.
It was pretty like hey, is thisguy better than me?
Yeah, you figured it out.
And then when someone does getbetter than you, you realize
it's for a reason.
Right, they learned something,they did something, they're
(36:06):
working on something.
What are they doing?
And how can I implement thatinto what I'm doing?
So I didn't invent anything.
They just figured something out.
I can figure it out too.
Tim (36:16):
Yeah, and they, they, they come, they comes back to, at
least from my perspective, umresearch and preparation.
Cam (36:26):
Oh yeah, most people aren't going to like no one's out
working you.
That's what I brought to thetable.
I'm not the smartest, I'm notthe fastest, I'm not the
strongest, but I will dedicatemy entire existence to be better
than you at something right.
And while you're sleeping withyour family, I'm working.
You took my christmas vacationoff to spend time with your
(36:47):
family.
I'm in a gym, bro.
I'm giving you that work onJanuary 2nd.
It's like if you took two weeksoff for Christmas break every
year in 10 years.
I'm ahead of you.
Right, absolutely yeah.
Tim (37:04):
But I'm learning how to channel that in less of a
competitive mode now that I'm inthe industry of helping people,
not hurting them less of acompetitive mode now that I'm in
the industry of helping people,not hurting them Well, but but
I think, bringing it back toit's still competitive, though I
think there's.
There's still that, thatcompetition, whether it's with
(37:25):
yourself, because I think peoplediscount that, that personal
competitive side, but it's alsocompetitive in terms of reaching
the goals that that you want toreach, whether you know.
I terms of reaching the goalsthat that you want to reach,
whether you know, I spoke withsomebody the other day doing a
Ted talk and he was he wants tohave the number one most watched
Ted talk of all time.
He's at number two.
And and so there there arethose other competitive things
(37:45):
that life is is competition.
I mean it doesn't, it doesn'treally matter where we are.
Um so I, I I'm not the, I'm notthe person that thinks
competition is bad or it's toxic.
I do think that there are timesthat it gets out of control,
but I got to have that in mylife.
Cam (38:05):
Yeah, I love that competitiveness.
I'm, I'm, I'm learning tochannel it to be more
collaborative.
But that competitiveness, iffive comics go up in my head I'm
like, okay, I'm doingeverything in my power to be the
best comic.
I don't hope any of the comicsdo bad.
Tim (38:26):
That's the difference.
Cam (38:29):
I hope they all do their best.
I'm going to work on making mybest better than their best.
Right, and sometimes I do ashow.
There's four, four comics.
Sometimes I was the worst outof the four and I'm like, okay,
I'm gonna go back into the gym,I'm going to work on these jokes
.
I'm going to hit open guys.
They're going to see I'm nothere to mess around, right, and
(38:51):
really it's nothing against themat all.
It's just how I make myselfbetter.
Tim (38:55):
Right, and they're doing the same thing, whether they
want to admit it or not.
Cam (38:59):
And we all win Right, exactly Yo also if anyone on my
team scores, we all get goodpoints.
Exactly, I'm all about collab,collaborating and celebrating
other people's wins.
Tim (39:13):
You have to.
I mean, that's part of being ina relationship, right and with
whoever it is, whether it's apersonal relationship, a
business relationship whateverit is Situationship yeah,
(39:35):
whatever right.
This relationship, uh, uh,whatever it is situation ship
yeah, exactly, whatever right.
The the better you are, thebetter you're making our
relationship.
The the more things that you'redoing well, the better
everything is.
How can I, what is it that Ican do to help you get better at
whatever it is that you want todo?
What is it that you can do tohelp me?
Cam (39:49):
and that's that's how, that's how things grow and
that's how how you know, to me,everything is about
relationships is that's howrelationships grow right yeah,
and relationships based offenergy, and yeah, yeah and, and
energy can read things, man, I lor I get, I'm like, oh, things
that that's where the energy youput out, and energy is
(40:11):
contagious yes, it is, if youput out good energy you're gonna
run into, you're gonna findgood energy and if you're not
finding the thing you're wantingand wanting in life, maybe take
a second and evaluate if you'reputting out the type of energy
for the response you want that'sthat.
Tim (40:33):
That's a a really key point , because a lot of times, you
know, I think we we're the onesthat are putting up the the
wrong type of energy and weblame it on other people oh yeah
, when we have to look atourselves.
Cam (40:46):
Yes, tim, we gotta look at ourselves.
We all have a negative personin our life.
Right, think of that negativeperson, tim.
Does that person think they'renegative?
No, absolutely not.
How do you know that's not you?
Tim (41:02):
I'm not negative.
Cam (41:05):
We all think that, so it's something we all need to work on
, right and there's no.
I think that's whatenlightenment is.
I think enlightenment is youjust reach the top, that we can
all have room for improvement,to be more of a positive person.
But yeah, it's just something.
You'll never reach the top,it's just potential.
Tim (41:26):
And it's continuum, based on the day and the time of day
and everything that's going on,kind of like the conversation we
had just before we startedrecording about being awesome
and being phenomenal.
Right, I mean, sometimes I'mawesome and phenomenal because
there's bad stuff going on and Ijust want to be positive about
(41:49):
it and get through it.
Sometimes I'm truly beingawesome and phenomenal because
things are going really reallywell.
Cam (42:03):
Yeah, and sometimes you're not.
Life is shit, bro, right,sometimes things are hard and
it's like things.
It just seems like it's notworking out.
It's just like a domino effectexactly, and then the wrong guy
cuts me off well it's.
Tim (42:15):
You know it's funny.
You say that I drove themotorcycle into work today and
where I live it's not very muchtraffic.
There was a traffic today and Igot cut off and I immediately
got upset.
If I was in the car I wouldhave been fine, wouldn't have
cared, no big deal, but I was onthe motorcycle and I got upset.
Nothing happened.
(42:36):
But I'm thinking you're beingan idiot and it could have hurt
me.
Bad because you were an idiot.
But this guy I mean number onehe didn't do it on purpose, he
just wasn't.
He wasn't paying attention.
I was paying attention so Icould avoid the situation.
So why am I getting upset?
Just let it go and move on.
I mean there's there's certainthings that that trigger us when
(42:58):
we sit back and think about it.
Why, why are we going to letsomething like that bother?
Cam (43:03):
us.
Well, the thing is not so muchthat it's the level of your
stress when it happened.
You said if you, if you were ina car, you wouldn't have been
worried because you'd have yourseatbelt on, you'd be safe.
But your level of stress isheightened on a motorcycle and
in life.
Let's say you're dealing with alot of like financial stuff,
(43:25):
kids stuff, bills, and then yourun into an issue with a
coworker and you lose it on them.
It's because your level ofstress is so much higher and
it's really not even theinteraction or that person, but
the problem lies when youexplode on that person and then
don't go back and apologizeafter yes, we're gonna mess up,
but if you don't apologize, thenthat resentment is held.
And it really was never thatperson's fault.
(43:48):
They didn't do anything right.
It was you that rode yourmotorcycle to work and you were
stressed out and you exploded onthem and now you have an
altered relationship with yourneighbor because you lost your
mind once.
Tim (44:00):
Exactly, and and again.
It goes back to the ego andtake an ownership and
responsibility for how you feeland your and your actions and
reactions of of what's going on?
Cam (44:12):
Yeah, I, I have to have to check myself on that one and I
speak on it, but I'm like, oh,kind of like I often have to
like check myself all myreactions to things, but that's
because we're human, I mean it's.
Tim (44:24):
We're never going to be perfect, we're never going to be
do things the right way everytime, but again, taking a step
back and and and uh, being openand willing to being sorry, to,
to taking responsibility, toowning whatever it is, and
(44:46):
acknowledging that.
Cam (44:47):
Yeah.
Tim (44:48):
Because we can acknowledge it to ourselves, but that's not
really acknowledging it.
Cam (44:52):
Right?
No, and I think if you don'tadmit it to the person, if you
admit it to yourself, but onceyou admit it to the person, it
releases that weight from yoursoul, as weird as that sounds it
does.
I felt like I was hitting someceilings in life and I couldn't
kind of break through.
And it was during the pandemicand I was really frustrated and
I was just like, let me trysomething out.
(45:13):
I made a list of all the peopleI've ever had any quarrels with
, or any beef, any smoke, and Ireached out to those people and
it was, it was a text.
I texted him hey, can we talk?
And I apologized to a lot ofpeople for things that I even
think I should be apologizingfor, and I just let a bunch of
things go.
And I just let a bunch ofthings go and a few of them were
(45:35):
taken aback, like they didn'tunderstand why I was apologizing
and I was like, hey, I'm not,I'm not suicidal or anything,
I'm not, these aren't my lastgoodbyes, I'm just letting
things go.
And I wanted to apologize and Idid that with maybe a handful
of people and I let go of allissues.
The weight I didn't even know Iwas carrying.
(45:56):
It took a lot of pride to do it, by the way.
Tim (46:05):
But the weight that, let go of me, man.
It allowed me to take off.
That's amazing.
Did you talk to anybody who hadno idea what it was that you
were holding on to?
I mean, obviously there weresome people that said, okay,
yeah, I remember that, but it'sno big deal.
But how about, dude?
Cam (46:22):
I don't even remember that about most of them, bad most of
them.
One of them I didn't.
I didn't talk to this girl forabout six or seven years, uh,
and turns out, and I was just in, uh, I was an emotional time
and then she decided becausewe're just, we're friends and uh
(46:43):
, she got a boyfriend and he wastrying to establish boundaries
and I was like we're justfriends, of course I'm gonna
just show up to your houserandomly and just chill on your
couch.
I didn't understand boundariesback then and I was like, well,
if you're gonna choose him me.
And then we just didn't speakfor years.
And I got called her and Iapologize.
And it turns out like shemarried the guy and then they
got a divorce and they have,like they have a beautiful
(47:05):
daughter, and I met up withcoffee for her and we got to
catch up on years and we're westill text monthly to this day
and it's because I let go ofsomething and she didn't even
remember why I wasn't talking toher.
Tim (47:20):
Yeah.
Cam (47:20):
It was just a me thing.
Tim (47:23):
Stories we tell ourselves, we hold in, that they call that
cause, the, the anxiety and the,and the, that, that drain, that
that that mental, that mentalself-talk that is debilitating,
that puts us in these positions,that we're not good enough, or
(47:47):
you know I'm a horrible person,or whatever it is and you know,
at some point we all have, weall have to figure, figure that
out and be able to let it go.
And I'm glad that you did thatand shared that, because, again,
it's where you taking the stepsis difficult.
It's easy to do, it's easy toget over some of these things
(48:09):
Once you, once you take thatfirst step.
The heart, the heart step, isthe first step.
Once you take that first step,it becomes easier, it becomes
easier and then your life, yourlife, changes after that.
Cam (48:19):
Yeah, the heaviest weight in the gym is the front door.
Tim (48:25):
You know, you've got, you've got a couple of things
that I, I, I really that Ireally like and resonate with me
, like your, your formula oneplus two equals three for me.
Can you explain what that isfor everybody?
And I think once I hear itthey're gonna say wow, that is
just so simple.
Like how come I, how come Ididn't think about that.
Cam (48:46):
Yeah, yeah, it's not the boxer bringing you rocket
science, a very simple equation.
So, uh, I I ran this as you inhealth class.
I was like 14.
We found out how calories work.
You consume about 2000 caloriesa day.
You burn about 2000 calories aday.
You remain even.
This was great information tome because I was struggling with
(49:07):
weight and I wanted to loseweight and I'm like, okay, you
can just burn more calories thanyou can consume.
That's how you lose weight.
It's by burning more caloriesthan you consume.
Every diet you can think of isjust different variations of
burning more calories than youcan consume.
Tim (49:22):
Right.
Cam (49:23):
Now you can consume less calories, but again, that was
never an option.
So for me, I was like, okay,I'm just going to go
rollerblading every day beforeschool for an hour and that's
how I was going to burn thecalories.
And I did this morning aftermorning, after I did it six
mornings in a row and then Iwoke up in the morning seven.
(49:43):
I was like I think this is awaste of time Because I saw no
physical difference in my body.
I was sore, I was tired and Iwas frustrated and I was like
there's?
I looked at it.
I was like, okay, there's noother way to lose weight.
I've been burning calories.
I've been burning more than Iconsume.
I've been working out everymorning.
Why isn't this working?
If it's not going to work, Imight as well stop now.
(50:04):
But then I looked at it like inan equation, one plus two
equals three Me plus burningmore calories than I consume
equals losing weight.
I guess I've got to do itlonger.
And after about three monthspeople were like, oh, look at
Cam, he's getting skinny.
And I would blush, which isdifficult for black people to do
(50:28):
, but it was like confirmationthat it was working.
It was working and that was mygrapple with delayed
gratification.
That's the moment I realizedthat's the key you don't deserve
what you want yet, right,because if you would have got it
the first time, it wouldn'thave been worth that much.
Tim (50:46):
Right.
Cam (50:47):
And that's why you want it.
Tim (50:52):
And that goes back to, you know, for for me anyway,
anything worth worth having, ittakes work and you've got to get
over, you have to get overwhatever that is to get through
that.
You know the, the, the feelings, the feeling of tiredness, the
feeling of of uh, notdesperation.
(51:14):
The feeling of tiredness, thefeeling of of uh, not
desperation, but of that youcan't do it, the feeling of you
know I'm not good enough orwhatever it is.
Those are, those are allfeelings, that those have to be
put aside.
Feelings aren't actions, andit's the actions that you have
to take that are going to getyou where you need to be.
Cam (51:33):
It's the only thing you can't add to this equation.
One plus two plus three, you,you're one in this equation.
No one's going to believe inyou until you believe in
yourself.
You might as well be yournumber one, be your biggest fan,
celebrate yourself Once.
Once you believe in you, youtake the actions of someone who
does.
Then you get the results of arecognize a pattern.
(51:58):
They expect that pattern.
That's their belief in you.
Literally it does not.
They can't have belief in youuntil you believe in yourself to
take those steps.
Yeah, one plus two equals three.
Three is the goal, theobjective, the outcome.
What do you want?
The only thing that's stoppingyou is work.
You put in the work.
It's appropriately named numbertwo because of the shitty part
of the.
It's the waking up when you'resore.
It's to keep going.
When you're tired, it's notseeing progress but going out of
(52:19):
faith alone.
That's what gets you there.
But you can't add any emotionsto this equation.
I don't care if you're happy, Idon't care if you're sad, if
you're hungry.
Get the work done, done, done,and if you're able to get the
work done, you'll get theresults.
That's it.
Tim (52:37):
Understand that If you get the work done, you'll get the
results.
If you don't do the work, ifyou don't do the work, you're
going to get a different.
You're still going to getresults.
This could be a differentresult and not the one that
you're working to get.
It's the one you deserved.
Cam (52:53):
Exactly there you go.
What I often find in life is weare as successful as we expect
to be.
Yeah, if you think.
If you think, oh, I'm the typeof person who makes x amount a
year and you can't see yourselfas someone who makes more.
You're not going toaccidentally make more.
Right, we all have.
(53:15):
We have that negative first inour life.
Right, we also all have.
We all know an entitled personin life who just acts like they
walk on water and they thinkthey deserve the best of the
best of everything and the thingTim, they usually get it.
That's the annoying part.
How dare they think they'reworth that?
(53:36):
And I don't think I'm worththat.
Instead of being mad at them,be mad at yourself or start to
be entitled.
Start to treat yourself like youdeserve those things Right,
because you do.
Tim (53:55):
You deserve those things.
Tim's, that's, that's the keyright we have, that's that
mindset shift and and to me,that's what a lot of this is
that we talk about it's, youknow, changing the mindset
change how we, how we approachthings, how we look at things,
and that in itself isn't goingto be the difference, but but
that's the start of it.
You still have to do the work,yeah.
Cam (54:18):
You got to do the work.
And another thing is also hope,Find hope.
So my speech that I do thewhole idea of the speech is if
you can fail without beingdiscouraged, success becomes
inevitable.
Tim (54:35):
Yes.
Cam (54:36):
We don't quit when we fail.
Failing is a part of the game.
That's how we learn.
Failure is an opportunity togain experience Part of the
problem, right, we quit when weget discouraged, when we fall
short, when things don't workout our way, and sometimes we
get discouraged before we evenstart, so we don't.
My purpose is I want to justgive people hope.
(54:58):
Whatever that hope they need toallow them to try one more time
, because if you try again,you're going to be better the
second time.
Like if you fail the seventhgrade and you had to take
seventh grade over again, itwould be easier the second time.
That's with everything in life.
Just because we're older, wedon't want to do the same thing
twice.
That's how you get there.
Tim (55:23):
Exactly, exactly.
You know, and I'm glad you saidwhat you said about you know if
you can fail without beingdiscouraged, success becomes
inevitable.
You know you've also said attimes that the best things that
have happened to you have comeafter terrible things To date.
(55:43):
What's your greatest success?
Cam (55:46):
Ooh, my greatest success is uh, I get to keep the F in my
name.
I'll explain what that means,please.
In 2012, I legally changed myname to KMF.
Also, on my birth certificateit's just the letter F, and I
did that because one.
I thought it would be funny andI'm a child and I want to keep
(56:09):
that child-like part of my life.
You have to, a 13-year-oldchanges his middle name to the
letter F.
That's what happened and it'sbecause I wanted to keep that
inner child and give myself joyand hope and optimism and that
playful attachment in life.
And I'm in a situation whereI'm a speaker.
I could book a lot more gigsand have a lot more success if I
(56:32):
just took the F out of my name.
No you can't do it, I won't doit.
Tim (56:37):
Can't do it, you can't do it.
Cam (56:39):
The fact that I can authentically leave that F there
, although it taints my success.
I get to be me, and to methat's the greatest success.
Tim (56:51):
Dude, I love that.
I can't tell you how much Ilove that I'm 57 years old.
I can't tell you.
I can't tell you how much Ilove that.
You know it's.
I'm 57 years old.
I I still think I'm a 12 yearold kid.
I really do, and it comes up onthe regular.
you know, a couple of days agomy wife said something and my
mind started going in placesthat it goes with your wife and
(57:12):
she said how old are you?
I said you know exactly how oldI am.
I'm 12, you know, and.
But that's, that's part.
That's part.
That's who we are, right, andif that's, and if that's who you
are, that's that's the bestthing in the world, and I don't
really care if it's, I can'twork over here because this is
who I am.
That's, that's fine.
It's not a good fit, it's great, and that's great.
(57:34):
It's great for you, it's greatfor me, and that's that's why I
love it so much for you thatyou're being who you are, you're
you're you're, you're beingauthentic, and people are either
going to love you and embraceyou for that or they're not, and
, and either way, that's great,it's perfect perfect.
Cam (57:54):
Yeah, there's really an in-between right, right, yeah,
and but I, I do enjoy that andit's and I will say, sometimes
it's like, oh, if I, if I werejust to conform and be different
.
But what I realized is whathappened in in life was we got
access to the internet, whichmeans we got to see how all of
(58:14):
us were living.
And some of us took the saferroute with a corporate job, so
we had to wear the suit andcarry ourselves in a certain way
, and we do it for the paycheckand it's part of the job, no big
deal.
But then we have to carryourselves in a certain way on
social media because now it'sconnected to our job.
But then we started to see otherpeople hosts about the way they
(58:37):
live and they're not followingthe rules I have to follow.
I don't technically want tofollow these rules they're not
my own personal authentic rulesbut it's how I get a job Right.
So I'm going to complain aboutthose people online.
How dare they live theirauthentic self when I have?
And the thing is, a lot of usare forced in a position where
we can't be our authentic selvesbecause of the paycheck we've
(58:58):
attached ourselves to and noshade at all because we have to
make a living.
Somehow you have a window oftime after your work day to work
on what you want to do andchase your passion and find that
thing that gives you hope.
Tim (59:13):
Right, absolutely.
And you know, I think that I'mjust going to put it into a
different, into a perspective.
You know, I was a collegeprofessor and I was always the
person that was doing the thingsthat everybody wanted to do but
(59:35):
would never actually do.
Sometimes it worked out greatfor me, sometimes it didn't work
out so well for me, but I wasalways but I always knew that
going into it and it comes.
That also comes down to like,like I said before, being who
you are and being okay with whoyou are and not worrying about
(59:58):
what everybody else is doing.
Right, and now, on the otherside, doing this, not having the
regular job, I'm still doingwhat I would do, but I find
myself questioning it a littlebit more, because it now truly
my paycheck and what I get paidtruly revolves around the things
(01:00:22):
that I say or do, oh yeah, andmore often than not, and whether
, whether it's I don't know ifit's helped or hurt Nobody's
really said anything to me yetUm, I'm still doing the things
that I would normally do, eventhough I'm, even though I'm
thinking about it a little bitmore.
Cam (01:00:41):
Yeah, you're, you're conscious of it because it's
it's connected to your paycheck.
And there's still things.
Even as a speaker myself and Ispeak at schools there's certain
things.
There's certain posts I won'teven like on social media.
There's a certain way I have tocarry myself, uh, and it's
because that is my reputation,although I don't care what
people think, I have to care howI carry myself because I am my
business and, uh, what I'velearned?
(01:01:04):
Is I not a yeah, I'm not not areligious person, but I was
having a conversation with areligious person and they
mentioned they, they referred tolife as the marketplace and
like they come out to themarketplace and it's like they
almost come out with theheathens to do business and they
(01:01:25):
understand that it's a part oflife, and then they go back to
their safe chambers of theircommunity.
I was like, oh, I never lookedat it like that.
Uh, so I, I live my life in my,my safe community.
I come out, I interact withothers, I want everyone to feel
good and be be well, but I goback to my little community
after.
Tim (01:01:48):
That's an interesting, interesting way of looking at
life.
I'd have to give that somethought.
I don't know.
See, I don't look at everythingas a transaction, though I
don't.
To me that just seems verytransactional.
Cam (01:02:03):
Yeah, yeah, oh then, that's .
I get that often, thattransactional thing, because
when you mentioned the thingabout efficiency, I'm very big
on efficiency and sometimes myefficiency looks as
transactional but I'm like, hey,how can I help you?
Because I mean that what I wantto know immediately is how can
(01:02:24):
I help you?
Yes, and tell me thatimmediately, because then then I
know how, that I can see wheremy role is in this relationship.
Right, because I just wanteveryone to get better.
Yes, I don't think there'sanything wrong with you the way
you are, but if I can make yourlife improve in any way that
brings me joy, it's my selfishsin.
Tim (01:02:42):
Yes, and I agree with you.
Let's just put it like that the,but I still see that as
transformational, even though II'm doing something for you, I
(01:03:07):
still see that.
That it's transformational inin that we're building
relationships and that's whatpeople in good relationships do
they help each other.
That's to be better.
It's not if you do this, I'lldo that.
If you do this, I'll be yourfriend.
If you do this, okay, yeah, Imay give you money.
(01:03:31):
That's transactional, but whenyou're talking about helping
somebody in their life, in theirbusiness, in their um, in their
thought process and whatever itis, that that to me is is more
from the transformational side,not the if I do this and you're
going to do this type of thing.
Cam (01:03:49):
You know what I mean.
Yeah, I get I and I often uh um, and I often so my community
I'm not transactional about, butwhen I go out into the market I
can't just give everything awayExactly.
But what I want to do is I wantto give more value than I'm
(01:04:09):
charging.
That way, you subscribe again?
Tim (01:04:15):
Yes, yes, that's it, you're exactly again.
Cam (01:04:19):
Yes, yes, that's it, you're exactly right.
Yeah, and these are just anyother thoughts I'm thinking out
loud as we go, but yeah.
Tim (01:04:25):
Well, you know, at one point and I laugh saying this, I
was thinking about how I wantto put this At one point, you
lived in a van down by the riverso, and not a lot of people
were going to get that reference.
Cam (01:04:44):
I didn't get it when I first heard it.
I had to Google it.
Tim (01:04:46):
Did you really?
Cam (01:04:46):
Yeah, someone was like you should live in a van down by the
river, and that's how I endedup living in a van.
Tim (01:04:56):
I was like oh, people can live in vans.
I'd never considered it before.
So so I'm a.
I don't live in a van, but I'ma full-time RVer.
So it's, oh, that's dope man, Ilive in a bus, but I do know
people that you know havetraveled the country in advance.
I could never do that.
It's just too small.
Cam (01:05:15):
I mean I just girlfriend's like you don't have pillowcases
in here, yeah, so when she metme, I was living in the van.
Tim (01:05:23):
What am I going to do with a pillowcase?
Yeah, that's just one morething.
Cam (01:05:26):
Yeah, I'm going to wash that oh boy.
Tim (01:05:31):
But where can people find you to work with you and find
out what you're doing?
Cam (01:05:35):
But where can people find you, to work with you and find
out what you're doing.
You can find me at Cam FAwesome on all social media
platforms, because I'm notfamous enough for anyone to take
my name.
Tim (01:05:46):
And also camfawesomecom.
I would encourage people to goto the website and watch some of
the watch.
Watch Cam deliver some of themessages that he's delivering.
Uh, you know, with, with, withall of the guests that we've had
on here, cam, and I need totell you this uh, your message
(01:06:09):
and your delivery is phenomenal,it's, it's powerful, it's
engaging's, it's powerful, it'sengaging.
If it makes me think, then I'msure it's going to make other
people think.
You know, because it's, youknow, the, the way you come
across and you were, uh, I'm asimple person, I mean, and, like
(01:06:36):
I said, the, the, the formulaone plus two equals three
formula.
That's just.
That's just.
It doesn't require a lot ofdeep thought, it's just right
there in front of you, and so Iencourage people to go and watch
some of the things that you'retalking about, watch what you're
doing, and and really reach outto Cam, because he, he, he can
help you.
So I'll just leave it at that.
Thank you, tim.
(01:06:57):
I appreciate that Sure thing.
Sure thing Well, cam, I've beenlooking forward to this
conversation and it didn'tdisappoint.
I really do appreciate youspending some time with us today
.
Take care and we'll talk to yousoon.
Thanks for having me, tim.
Be sure to visitspeakingwithconfidencepodcastcom
to get your free ebook the Top21 Challenges for Public
Speakers and how to Overcomethem.
(01:07:18):
You can also register for theForum for Public Speaking.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change the world.
We'll talk to you next time.
Cam (01:07:27):
Take care.
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, a podcast that
helps you build the soft skillsthat lead to real results
communication, storytelling,public speaking and showing up
with confidence in everyconversation that counts.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide your journey
to become a powerfulcommunicator.
Make sure you hit the subscribebutton so you never miss an
(00:29):
episode.
Today's guest is Aw esome He'sa 12-time national boxing
champion, three-time Olympictrials champion and former
captain of the USA NationalBoxing Team.
Beyond the ring, cam has builta career as a motivational
speaker, sharing his journey ofresilience, positive mindset and
overcoming adversity withaudiences around the country,
(00:52):
from being bullied as a kid tobecoming one of the most
decorated amateur boxers in UShistory.
His story is as inspiring as itis powerful.
He's also the author ofBecoming Awesome how to Make
Success Inevitable and is hereto drop some serious wisdom on
you, cam.
Welcome to the show I'm excitedfor today.
Cam (01:10):
Oh, thanks for having me, Tim.
It's fun to be here.
Tim (01:13):
Well, you know, I love all my guests, but I really like it
when I have somebody from thesport industry come on, you know
, because we have somecommonalities, we have some of
the same types of mindset, typesof things.
But here's a question I havefor you how much fun is life for
you right now?
I mean, you're traveling allover the place and every time I
see you you seem to have a smileor you're laughing.
(01:36):
How much so?
How much fun is life right now?
Cam (01:38):
Well, life is dope.
Uh, I comparing it to wherelife used to be.
Oh man, things, things are.
Things are in the up and up,and I've learned to enjoy it.
Instead of wondering when, when, instead of taking the the
route of oh, when's the shoegonna drop, or when things gonna
change, it's like, no, I'm justhappy, uh, but I mean, it's not
(02:00):
, I'm not always happy, it's a,it's a lot of conscious work to
be this happy.
Tim (02:07):
Yeah, and I kind of laugh sometimes because you know I've
been accused of having restingbitch face.
You know I'm a very emotionalperson.
I really am, but you can't evertell, cause I'm going to show
you my happy face and I'm gonnashow you my sad face.
It's the same, I mean it's,it's just, I mean it's.
(02:27):
But what's going on inside isyou know I'm, I'm, you know a
lot like you.
Uh, I'm happy I'm, you know I'm.
I look at things from apositive mindset and and and
always looking to, you know, to,to, to make sure that that
things are, are are going wellfor me, to to to make sure that
things are going well for for me, and to and to be able to help
other people.
Cam (02:47):
Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm, yeah, I'm big on that with because
it's like it's it's work.
Like when you see someone withabs some of y'all are born with
them and I don't like you, butfor the most part it's like when
you see someone with, like aphysical like, oh, you don't
realize the work it takes, themaintenance and it just
(03:08):
constantly, but it's to havethat thing that you want, and
for me, that thing is notnecessarily abs, it's being
happy yeah, and, and that'sthat's that's so important, and
it's happy with you, not happywith what society says you
should be happy with oh yeah, Idon't care anything about what
most people think.
Like I value my reputationenough because I value my
reputation.
I care what people think of me,but I don't really.
(03:31):
Most people aren't happy.
I can't judge my level ofhappiness off of unhappy people,
because misery loves companyand when I was at my least
happiest I wasn't happy seeinghappy people.
Tim (03:44):
Right, right, it made you feel bad because they were happy
and you weren't.
Cam (03:49):
Yeah, they had something you didn't, yeah, and that's
something that I struggled with.
It's something I constantlystill work on.
But now, when I'm in a happyplace, if something I do makes
someone else unhappy, I can'tlet that change my action,
because then both of us aregoing to be happy.
I'm going to be unhappy, I'mhappy, and then they're going to
(04:11):
be kind of happy, becausemisery loves company.
Tim (04:13):
Right and say ha ha, I made you unhappy.
Now I did it and that's.
But that's the other thing.
How long did it take you tounderstand or grasp the concept
that you, you have no controlover how other people you know
I'm going to do airfingers,quote feel?
Cam (04:28):
Yeah, still grappling with that because, yeah, it's still a
process every day, but I thinkin 2012, I got kicked off the
Olympic team and I was soworried about what other people
were thinking and I wasembarrassed.
And turns out, before theOlympics even happened, most
people had forgot I wasn't evengoing wow, wow that.
Tim (04:53):
That just hit me in the stomach dude, yeah, I heard my
ego.
Cam (04:56):
I was like, oh wait, they, because I had.
I thought like the whole worldwas conspiring against me and
and at that moment I realized,oh no, no one cares.
Tim (05:09):
Wow, and you know I talk about that Nobody really cares.
You know and see, this is wherewe project ourselves, right, I
talk about things that peoplenobody cares when.
When we're when we're talking,when we're public speaking, and
I'm thinking I'm putting myselfin your shoes, where you're a
high profile athlete, peopleknow who you are and, wow, I
(05:30):
would think that people wouldcare about, about you, but the
reality is they, they stilldon't.
Cam (05:34):
No, I don't care how great of a chiefs fan you are, you
haven't thought about PatrickMahomes in the last few months.
It's just when it's convenientfor you, it's your entertainment
, but that's his life.
Wow Again thanks for bringingme back to ground level.
It's freeing, though.
Tim (05:57):
It is If you remember it and embrace it right and not
look at it from.
I I guess the negative aspectthat, oh, nobody really cares
because that's not it either.
Oh, no, but it's like oh no, itwas freeing.
Cam (06:12):
No one get one of the greatest performances I've ever
seen in my life.
I don't like going to outdoor.
I don't.
I don't like going to events.
Usually if I'm an event, I'meither paid to be there or it's
a comedy show.
I'm going to enjoy it.
But my girl was like, hey,let's go to this outdoor thing
in the park and not really myjam.
But she goes to so many thingsshe doesn't want to go to.
(06:33):
Right, like I'll just show upwith my smile, right, and I'm
there watching and there's an mcintroducing like performers or
whatever, and I'm zoned in onthe mc because I'm like that's
me imc events.
Right, maybe they could book menext year.
Because I go straight into workmode and I'm like, let me
evaluate this mc.
And he's going through hislines off to the side and no one
(06:54):
sees him.
But I'm watching him.
He's going over his lines andhe gets up there and he does it
and people clap and no one cares, like he, I, I didn't even
listen to what he said and atthat moment I realized, oh, he
thinks his job is so importantand we think our job is so
important that we put so muchpressure on ourselves, right,
(07:15):
unnecessary pressure.
And I saw it didn't reallymatter.
The next performance came up onstage and then he came up after
and he said thank you and theyall clapped and and to me it was
the most freeing thing of mycareer where I realized no one
cares.
So beautiful, right, you care,you care, because you're going
(07:36):
to be like like in a week.
No one's going to remember.
You remember the guy whoannounced everyone he flubbed a
line.
Tim (07:42):
Oh, we hate that guy Right.
Never bring him back again.
Yeah god, but you but to.
But to your point, though.
You care about what you do,because it's it's you and and
what you do, and, and you wantto make sure that you're doing a
good job and you want to be thebest at what you're doing,
whether other people care aboutit or not.
(08:03):
It's that's that internal drive, that that that moves us.
It's not, it's not that, it'snot that external thing, it's
not the money, it's.
It's not the, the fame and theawards where there's some of
that though, but but it's thatmore that internal drive yeah,
it's the internal drive and andthe awards and money.
Cam (08:20):
That's just how you keep score right, but that's not the
game I'm playing, exactly Like I.
I, of course, and I'll just saythe caveat of as long, my goal
in life for success for me is ifI can fill my gas tank without
doing math.
Well, I've won, I've won.
Tim (08:38):
We did it today.
Cam (08:39):
Yeah, we, we did it, I didn't, I didn't carry the one,
the one.
The dollar amount is higherthan the pump number.
Tim (08:47):
That's a win for me.
Baby, let's do it.
That's awesome.
You know you started doingsomething a long time ago and
that's every morning when youwake up.
You know you write down in yourjournal 10 things that you're
grateful for.
Are you still doing that?
Oh yeah, Every day since july26 2021 do you mind sharing just
(09:12):
a couple of them with us?
Yeah, that you did today, yeahuh.
Cam (09:21):
So this morning.
So uh again.
So these are I I write.
The reason why I do this is Isaw uh.
So I changed my last name toawesome and since that people
have been sending me pictures oftheir socks that say I am
awesome.
Okay, part of the game.
People tag me and I am awesomestuff.
I love it, it brings joy to mylife.
But people have beenspecifically sending me pictures
(09:43):
of their socks and underwear.
I don't know why.
And then one day I was at mybuddy's house and he says oh my
God, the sock ladies in thebasement and I was like that's
the weirdest sentence I've everheard.
But his wife's best friend owneda sock company and it's called
notes to self.
She puts positive affirmationson socks because your brain is
(10:05):
most receptive to informationfirst thing in the morning and
her best seller is I am awesomebecause it's like I'm courageous
, I'm brave.
It's all different ones, but Iam awesome is everyone's
favorite.
So people have been sending mepictures of this lady socks and
so happened.
I happened to meet her in myfriend's house.
She explains to me the conceptof the business and why she did
(10:28):
it, and the brain, how the brainworks, and a light bulb went
off.
I was like, well, how do weusually start our day?
Well, usually we, we hit snoozeand we do math in nine minute
increments, right.
And then we check our phones.
The news If it bleeds, it leadssocial media.
The worst gets shown first.
Yeah, so we just download abunch of news and negative stuff
(10:50):
first thing in our morning.
So I decided I was like, sinceI met her, I was like, all right
, I am going to write a list of10 things I'm grateful for every
morning, cause it's yourreticular activating system.
Your brain takes in billions ofbits of information every.
Your eyes can see everything,but it only shows you what it
thinks, it believes.
You're interested in one fact.
If you ever look at a document,it's like a bunch of words, but
(11:12):
you see the word sex.
You find.
You just find that word.
It's like you because we're prethis vision.
Tim (11:18):
Okay, you just called me out here.
Cam (11:20):
I mean, what's up with that is that but yeah, and it or the
curse word, something like it'swhat your brain searches.
So if your brain takes inbillions of bits of information,
it only gives you 35 bits.
It shows you what you believeit's looking for.
What you seek is what you find.
So let's say you go shoppingfor a yellow car all weekend.
You don't buy a yellow car, butafter that you start seeing
(11:43):
yellow cars everywhere.
Right, that's your reticularactivating system at work.
The second you said hey, I'mlooking for yellow car.
It started to point it out.
It's why, whichever car youhappen to drive seems to be one
of the most popular cars on theroad exactly it's not.
It's not what your brain'slooking for.
So I started to write a list of10 things I was grateful for
every morning, because if Istart my day looking for a
(12:05):
yellow car, I'll see yellow cars.
If I start my day with murder,death, destruction, rape and
genocide for the news, that'swhat I'm going to find.
But if I start my day with 10things going right, I'll just
continuously find more thingsgoing right in my life.
Right, so I'll tell you thislist, but they're not these
great, huge things.
Right, but they don't reallyhave to be either.
(12:27):
No, because they're all great.
So the first thing on my listI'm grateful to find sniper
elite 4.
It's a game on the nintendoswitch.
So my best friend and I we'velived together since we're 16.
People grow up and they getmarried and related.
So he lives, he.
He lives again today.
I live in austin now, but wewe're still best friends to this
(12:48):
day and we talk all the time.
So we don't play video gameslike we used to back in the day.
But we play video games now,but we only allow ourselves to
play a game that neither of usplay, and the only time we can
play is with each other oh, okayso one of us can't get better
than the other and it's alwayscompetitive because we just talk
crap.
That's what we like to do.
So we picked NHL.
So we'd play hockey, becauseneither of us care for it, but
(13:12):
it's just something to talk junkover.
Well, he bought a NintendoSwitch, so I had to buy a Switch
, and we play this sniper elitegame and instead of it being
competitive because we're alwaystalking down to each other and
it's like that's why your motherdoesn't love you, and just
terrible things we say this game, we're on the same team and
we're encouraging each other andit's like, oh, yeah, you got it
(13:34):
.
And I was like, oh, we've justbeen celebrating each other for
a lot lately and so that was thefirst thing on my list.
Like I'm grateful to find thatgame because it connected me
with Matt Mays a little bit more.
Yeah, that was the first thingon my list.
Tim (13:49):
That's all that's.
That's an awesome way to lookat it and, again, it's a change
in mindset.
Yeah, Even though do you knowthe the trash talk that that we
do as guys with each other?
It's all good and it's all funand games.
There's still that hint ofnegativity.
But to turn it around and andturn it into a positive and and
(14:10):
kind of kind of that that malebonding that doesn't generally
happen when you get to be older,right, because, as like you
said, you, you, as you get growup, you you get married, you
have kids, you move away and youthere are other other things
that are pulling into your timeand resources.
You know both, both you knowphysical, mental and financial.
(14:31):
You have less time to to tobond with your friends.
Cam (14:36):
Yeah, man, life gets in the way, and then you have kids,
and then they have their friends, and then you have your partner
, and then your partner has herfriends, and then it's like your
circle starts to change andthen the the free time you have
changes.
And then, when you do have freetime, instead of spending it
with your friend, you're justlike you're just trying to
(14:56):
process life, right?
so you usually probably justdrink or something you drink
with your friends friends,that's the time but I became
sober, so that's not an optionfor me anymore because we can't
moderate things that's well,there's no myself I.
Tim (15:13):
I can't moderate food.
You know, you brought food alittle bit and that's you know,
that's I.
I've worked hard on this bodyyou know, I don't.
I don't have the abs and I workhard at it, you know.
But that is one of the thingsthat I and I don't even the abs,
and I work hard at it.
Cam (15:25):
That is one of the things that I and I don't even speak
about this, but the reason why Idid the vegan thing.
I lost the vet bet and had todo it for 28 days and I have
such a negative relationshipwith food.
It's unhealthy, right.
There's no better feeling.
Best feeling in the worldEating, eating till I hate
myself and everyone around me,falling asleep and then eating
that same food in three hourswhen I wake up from my nap at
(15:47):
room temperature.
Oh that feeling.
Tim (15:51):
Well, let's get into that a little bit, because you know,
when you were a kid, thebullying you know, being a
little overweight and beingbullied and those types of
things.
Those are the things that drivethat.
That drive that, that, um, therelationship with food or
whatever relationship it is with.
It could be with looks, itcould be with clothes, it could
(16:11):
be with material things, but youknow, for at least for me, it
was with with food, and, and Idon't want to put words in your
mouth for you, but but yeah, Imean, and how did, how did you
deal with that?
And obviously it's, it's a,it's something that's that's led
you to to where you are now,with with, with what you do, and
(16:33):
and and being a boxing champion.
But how did you, how did youdeal with that as, as a, as a
young kid?
Cam (16:40):
As a young kid I uh played video games because you didn't
have to be the fastest, because,like, when you're the bigger
kids, like yeah, for tug or waryou come in clutch, but no one's
like picking you for anythingelse but video games.
It's like it's easier, uh, andso I've.
I found myself just stayinginside often and then I had the
(17:04):
motivator of being superinsecure and guys are dating and
I want a girlfriend one day andI didn't like my body and I
lacked confidence and I thoughtjoining the gym would help that.
And never did I considerchanging my eating habits.
(17:25):
Right, it never occurred to me.
No question, just eat less.
I was like, oh no, I guess Ihave to work out more or eat
healthier.
No thanks.
Tim (17:35):
No, what's that mean?
I'm not doing that.
Cam (17:37):
I, bro, I was known as the.
I was the number one boxer inthe country In 2011,.
I had 76 percent body fat and Iremember another boxer that I
beat had like.
It was like, yeah, that's whyyou're fat.
I was like 36 percent body fat,that's six percent for each
national championship, and thatwas that was a good burn.
(17:59):
I remember back in the day.
But I was fat, bro, and becauseI figured out how to win
without having to change the wayI ate, it was, it was a.
Tim (18:10):
It was such a crutch yeah, and I think that's what that, to
me, that leads into some of thethings, some of the mentality
things and your thought processthat that came up with, like if
you don't get hit, you can'tlose.
Oh, that's a bit.
Cam (18:31):
Yeah, the score.
How about that, the scoresystem?
If you hit me, you get a point.
If I hit you, I get a point.
If I hit you once and then runfrom you until you're too tired
to hit me, I won.
You said I have to be in thering for three minutes in a
round.
You didn't have to fight forthe whole three minutes, Right?
Tim (18:46):
right.
Yeah, it's genius and that'shonestly.
That's kind of how my brainworks too.
I'm like the master of gettingout of things that I don't want
to do.
I really am.
Cam (19:01):
Or we can call you a master of efficiency.
There you go.
Tim (19:06):
I like that too, you know, and so so when you, when you got
hit, how did that change yourthinking though?
Because, because, obviously, asa boxer, I mean you're going to
, you're going to get hit, nomatter how how good you are,
(19:27):
because someone's going to studyyour, your, your style, and
they're going to find a weaknessand they're going to, they're
going to land one.
And then you have to say, okay,I've got, I've got, I've got to
learn to, to, to stop thatAvenue attack as well.
Cam (19:40):
Yeah.
So I think we all tellourselves a story and in and we
all live in our own littlerealities, in our own bubbles.
But fighting is one of the rareoccasions where our realities
clash.
So if we're fighting, it's likein your mind you know you're
gonna win my wind, I know I'mgonna win.
In my story, I'm gonna win yourstory, you're gonna win.
We get in the ring to to writethe story, right and when.
(20:05):
So you asked me what I thinkwhen I get hit, I am.
I don't care about my mind.
I'm in your mind completelybecause I want.
I want to manipulate the storyyou're telling yourself, because
that's how I win.
I need you to tell you, I needyou to tell you the story that
I'm gonna win.
Okay, so my favorite punch isnot a punch.
So and it's a punch I work outthe most.
(20:27):
Most guys are right-handed.
You throw a jab in thebeginning of the fight.
You throw a jab, I slip, Ithrow an uppercut under your jab
.
It's my favorite punch and itsnaps a guy's head back.
It's beautiful, right.
Second time you throw your jab,I slip uppercut.
Third time, slip uppercut,landing it with ease.
The fourth time you throw yourjab, I slip.
You close your eyes because youknow you're about to get hit,
(20:49):
but the punch never comes andyou wait an extra second.
Then you eventually open youreyes.
It's me smiling.
Tim (20:58):
Oh man.
Cam (20:59):
I need you to know that anytime you throw that punch,
I'm going to punish you.
Now, in your mind, you'retelling yourself okay, I haven't
dealt with this before.
Cam knows something I don'tknow.
This isn't looking good for meright and then I just need you
to throw a punch, me to slip andme just to win a cool even
(21:20):
exchange where I could hit youtwice, but I only get you once,
because I need you to think Ican hit you at will.
Right, this isn't true at thispoint, but by the second round
you're already starting to tellyourself these stories right at
this point.
Second round you're a one-handedfighter because you've
subconsciously stopped usingyour jab.
If I can do that with your,your other hand.
(21:44):
Now, if you ever seen a boxingmatch, you're like the guy
trained for months from thefight.
He's not throwing any punches,right, he's getting
subconsciously trained not to.
Every time he throws that punchhe gets punished.
So you stop throwing the punch.
Now you start telling yourself.
Tim starts telling himself ohman, cam is in better shape than
me.
Cam's got me figured out.
I can't even throw my jab.
That's my favorite punch.
(22:05):
I don't.
I'm not sure what to do.
You're flustered and you lookover at me and I'm smiling.
The end of the first roundhappens.
You sit down in frustration andexhaustion and you look over at
me.
I don't sit down in betweenrounds, I'm looking at you and
I'm looking down at you becauseI need to know you, to know, tim
, that you're less than me inthat moment in that ring outside
(22:27):
, outside the ring, you mighthave a better life than me, but
inside that ring, tim, you'remine, and whether that's true or
not, I need you to believe that.
And by the time you come outfor the second round, you're not
the same human being anymore,right.
Tim (22:41):
Right, and then I guess it multiplies by the time you go on
to the third round and thenit's, it's, it's over.
At that point it was it's over,it's over going to the second
round.
But my guess is the mentaldefeat of that guy going to the
third round, it's truly over.
Cam (23:00):
Let me tell you, when it happens there's an involuntary
exhale, it's like he's there andhe's like that's his soul
leaving his body.
Oh, that's awesome, I love it.
Oh, that's awesome, I love it,that's awesome.
Not an original quote, that'sjeremiah graziano.
I'll never steal that from him,but that feeling of that his,
his soul leaving his body,that's when I take your manhood
(23:20):
from you.
Tim (23:22):
That to me, oh, that's the greatest feeling so how do you
transfer that into outside ofthe ring you know that mentality
outside of the ring, into whatyou're doing now, because I mean
what you're doing now, thegreat work that you're doing.
You're traveling all over theplace, you're talking to people
(23:43):
all over the place.
What I really like is when yougo and you talk to schools and
you're talking to kids.
You talk to schools and you'retalking to kids.
So how do you take thatmentality and transfer it to
kids and get them to understandthe to, to change the, to change
their outlook, to change howthey that mental?
Cam (23:59):
mindset.
I explained to them my storyand I try to, so I do standard
comedy I try to make all.
I tell stories and all thestories have jokes, morals and
messages attached to it.
Because my idea if kids arelist, all the stories have jokes
, morals and messages attachedto it.
Because my idea if kids arelist, if they're laughing
they're listening.
If they're listening they'relearning.
If they're learning.
I did my job, so I share mystory and I share this story
(24:20):
about how I talk to myself.
And then I asked them how dothey talk themselves?
Because we all tell ourselves astory.
Which character do we play inthat story?
Tim (24:31):
Okay.
Cam (24:34):
Are you the victim in your story?
Are you the main character?
Are you the person who's goingto win in that story?
What's the story you tellyourself?
And I remind them that theyhave the power to change the
script.
In 2012, I decided to rewrite mystory by by legally changing my
name and trying to become theperson that I wanted to be, and
(24:57):
I had the power to do thatbecause of the story.
I didn't.
I didn't become different.
So in high school uh, my senioryear of high school I moved
from new york to florida right,and this would have been
devastating for most people, butI realized I could.
I could become whoever I wanted.
We could develop a jamaicanaccent and no, no, no, the
difference.
(25:17):
I did not develop a jamaicanaccent, but I did decide to be
this really cool outgoing funguy because no one knew anybody
in Florida and hook line andsinker Tim.
Everyone bought it.
I was this really cool dude.
Years later, now that I lookback at it, I just changed my
(25:38):
zip code.
I didn't change at all.
The only thing that changed wasthe way I thought of myself.
I was the same person.
The only thing that changed wasmy zip code and the
expectations that other peoplehad on.
So often we fill the role ofwhat we expect other people to
think of us.
They don't really matter.
Tim (26:02):
Think about that.
I say it to my audience.
You know, what other peoplethink about us doesn't really
matter, and it's that what we.
It's what we are tellingourselves that they think about
us.
Cam (26:19):
Yeah, that hit me when I went back to high school.
I went back to my senior yearLast week.
I got to walk.
I've got to go back to New Yorkto walk with Miles at my old
school and, tim, I couldn't waitbecause I was like I was in
better shape now, I wasconfident, I had friends and the
second I walked to that highschool I reverted back into the
(26:41):
unconfident, awkward person Iused to be.
Years later I saw a quoteCharles Hart and Cooley.
Years later I saw quote CharlesHart and Cooley I'm not who I
think I am.
I'm not who you think I am.
I'm who I think you think I am.
I'll say that again for yourlisteners I'm not who I think I
am.
I'm not who you think I amBecause, again, tim, I don't
(27:02):
know what you think.
I can only assume I'm what Ithink you think I am.
When I got to Florida, Ithought everyone thought I was
this cool outgoing guy and Ifell into that role In New York.
When I went back, I knew whatthey expected of me and I found
myself filling that role,unconsciously and a lot of times
(27:25):
.
We just have to change thepeople we're around if we want
to change who we are have tochange the people we're around.
Tim (27:31):
If we want to change who we are Right and that's so
important too.
You know that the people wesurround ourselves with are
inner circle.
You know that I like to talkabout is you know you get to
choose who your inner circle is,and if you want your inner
circle to be people surroundedby negativity, you're going to
get negative.
If you want to surround it withpeople that are positive,
you're going to get negative.
If you want to surround it withpeople that are positive,
(27:51):
you're going to get positivity.
But you also need to surroundyourself with with people that
are going to be real with youand they're going to give you
the truth.
I mean you can be.
You can surround yourself withpeople that are positive all the
time.
That's not very helpful.
I mean it's it's.
You get positive messages allthe time, but they're not giving
you the the.
What's really happening, tim?
(28:12):
You're screwing up over here,dude.
You need to fix this.
Cam (28:21):
Or you know what?
You did a great job over here,but you, you know, call your
mother.
So, matt, the guy I play cyberleague with, he's that friend,
yo, matt will fight everyone forme.
He'll defend me to the deathdeath.
And as soon as we're in private, he'll put me inside like yo,
get your life together likehe'll.
He, and there's only a fewpeople in my life who can really
pull me aside and I'll reallyreconsider the way I'm living.
(28:42):
Uh, and I, I'm grateful to havea friend like that.
Uh, and you have to keep thosepeople around to check you.
You, yes, protect your neck,but you still got to make keep
those people around to check you.
Yes, Protect your neck, but youstill got to make sure
someone's around to checkyourself or you wreck yourself.
Tim (28:58):
You know, there's a video and I can't.
Every time I go to reference itI forget the guy's name, but
he's a I guess he's a jiu-jitsuinstructor and he's sitting down
and he's talking to hisstudents and he talks about.
He talks about you got as a guy.
You got to have five friendsand and in those five friends he
lists out what they are.
One is a person that's going tokeep it real.
(29:18):
One's a person that's going to,you know, is truly invested in
you, who's happy for you becauseit's you, does.
It's not being jealous.
One's a hit man.
Um, you know it doesn't matterwhat's going on.
Something's going on, you knowand so, but but I, you know, I
think that's so important inthat, in that in in your inner
circle, you do have to havethose people, and that's that's
(29:41):
something you know where we,where we talk about, we don't
really care about what otherpeople think, I'm not talking
about that from your innercircle people, because those are
the people that we choose.
We choose to have them in ourlives.
Cam (29:52):
Yeah, also, we're not eight years old anymore.
Like, don't choose friendsbased off proximity.
Don't be friends with someonebecause they live down the block
from you.
Tim (30:01):
Right.
Cam (30:11):
Hop in your car, go, drive around, be around different
quality people.
Leave your area, if you can, ifyou're trying to change who you
are.
So for me, I have a top fivethat I like to think of, and
this is this is more for aprofessional uh, for goal
setting.
So, whatever your goal is, youshould have a top five people
around that goal, uh.
So, whether it's boxing orspeaking, I'd use them both.
So for boxing, here's, here'show, the format of it boxing the
number one person out of yourtop five to hang out with,
that's the person, your idol,someone you look up to.
(30:34):
This person, you don't everhave to meet them, they don't
even have to be alive.
Call it Muhammad Ali.
That's the pinnacle.
That's the number one.
The number two person is aboxer who is better than me,
physically like, who can beat me, who's like more experience and
skill than I am.
That's my number two.
My goal is to get as good asthat, like.
That's who I'm chasing Right.
(30:57):
My number three person that'sthe person who is just as good
as me, my competitor.
I will never let that personget better than me.
Tim (31:06):
Right.
Cam (31:06):
And that person should never let me get better than
them.
Right, that person is my friend, but we're competitors.
Right, and that person?
should never let me get betterthan them, right?
That person's my friend, butwe're competitors, exactly.
If we're in the gym, he throwsa five punch combination, I
throw a six punch combination.
He goes on a three mile run, Igo on a four mile run, and if he
finds out I go on a four milerun, he goes on a five mile run.
That's who I want, right?
He needs to make meuncomfortable because we're
(31:27):
chasing number two Right.
Comfortable because we'rechasing number two right.
The number four person on thislist.
That's a person you're moreexperienced in, that you're
better than, but is just ashungry as you are.
Tim (31:44):
Oh boy, that's a tough one.
That's a tough one, dude CauseI know there's I don't mean to
interrupt you, but I knowthere's.
There's people mean tointerrupt you, but I know
there's people out there.
But when I look at, and I justand I'm trying to internalize
this as you're talking about it,because I'm not the smartest,
I'm not the fastest, I'm not thestrongest, but I've always been
(32:06):
the person nobody's ever goingto outwork.
So to find somebody on thatlevel, man, that's.
Cam (32:12):
And the thing is it's going to be in its raw, raw form.
Tim (32:16):
Yeah.
Cam (32:17):
And that person is the person you mentor.
Yeah, okay, you see a part ofyou in them, that hunger, that
drive, and even if they havelike they're going in the wrong
direction, they haven't figuredit out but the thing inside them
that makes them like you.
You can't teach that, right.
Tim (32:31):
You can guide him.
Cam (32:34):
And your goal is to guide that person to be better than
you Like.
Give them all the tools, allthe skills, all the resources
Right, and their goal is to bebetter than you.
Again, that number two that youhave you're their number two.
Tim (32:54):
You're their number two, You're their number two, and you
have to be okay with that too.
You have to be okay.
To me that's an ego aside.
Personal growth, helping peopleBecause I think that's our
calling in life anyways is tohelp people.
To put that ego aside, it'sokay if somebody becomes better
than you.
Cam (33:09):
Oh yeah, so my number three person was a boxer named Tony
Mack, because he was a businessowner.
I was a business owner and Ileft it wasn't so much in the
boxing comparison but in thebusiness world comparison Like
he was in my number three.
I was like, all right, me andTony are neck to neck.
He's growing his business, he'sdoing this, I he's doing this,
(33:33):
I'm doing that.
And then at some point tonyleveled up.
He surpassed me.
I'm not supposed to let thathappen right tony's, now my
number two.
Like the thing is, I got noproblem with it because now I
know someone who's?
Doing.
Like everything he's doing Icould do one day.
So now Tony and I relationshipchange.
Well, still, we're still apersonal relationship, but I
(33:54):
call him, I asked him for advice, I asked him for insight and
I'm trying to get as good as heis.
Tim (34:02):
That's awesome yeah.
Cam (34:04):
That's number five.
Number five most importantperson, it's you.
None of those four people willwant to spend any time with you
if you don't want to spend timewith yourself.
Tim (34:18):
Wow, that's something to think about right there.
Seriously, and I, you know, I,I don't know that the majority
of people even think well, Iknow that I know they don't
think about who they are, whothey want to be as individuals,
and who they want to be forother people.
(34:39):
I just know that.
So that's something that peoplereally need to take some time
to consider.
Cam (34:45):
Yeah, don't see anyone as competition.
See them as inspiration.
I just need to know something'spossible, like that Tony Mack
guy I aspire to be like becauseI see what he's done and I could
be like oh, this, that he'slucky.
No, he's not lucky.
He worked really hard to get itHard and what I found in life
(35:05):
is successful people are willingto share all of their secrets
for the cost of a cup of coffee.
How?
about that you sit a Tony Macdown and like, hey, can we meet
some coffee?
I have some questions.
They'll tell you everything youneed to know in life and you
can throw 99% of it away andkeep the 1% that works for you,
but that 1% will be powerful.
Tim (35:27):
Yeah, and you've got to be willing to do that.
You have to be willing tocultivate that relationship and
work on it and then be able toput your ego aside and listen
and put that into practice.
Cam (35:44):
Oh yeah, and what allowed this system to flourish was the
objective measurement of boxing.
You got punched in the face,face it was.
It was pretty like hey, is thisguy better than me?
Yeah, you figured it out.
And then when someone does getbetter than you, you realize
it's for a reason.
Right, they learned something,they did something, they're
(36:06):
working on something.
What are they doing?
And how can I implement thatinto what I'm doing?
So I didn't invent anything.
They just figured something out.
I can figure it out too.
Tim (36:16):
Yeah, and they, they, they come, they comes back to, at
least from my perspective, umresearch and preparation.
Cam (36:26):
Oh yeah, most people aren't going to like no one's out
working you.
That's what I brought to thetable.
I'm not the smartest, I'm notthe fastest, I'm not the
strongest, but I will dedicatemy entire existence to be better
than you at something right.
And while you're sleeping withyour family, I'm working.
You took my christmas vacationoff to spend time with your
(36:47):
family.
I'm in a gym, bro.
I'm giving you that work onJanuary 2nd.
It's like if you took two weeksoff for Christmas break every
year in 10 years.
I'm ahead of you.
Right, absolutely yeah.
Tim (37:04):
But I'm learning how to channel that in less of a
competitive mode now that I'm inthe industry of helping people,
not hurting them less of acompetitive mode now that I'm in
the industry of helping people,not hurting them Well, but but
I think, bringing it back toit's still competitive, though I
think there's.
There's still that, thatcompetition, whether it's with
(37:25):
yourself, because I think peoplediscount that, that personal
competitive side, but it's alsocompetitive in terms of reaching
the goals that that you want toreach, whether you know.
I terms of reaching the goalsthat that you want to reach,
whether you know, I spoke withsomebody the other day doing a
Ted talk and he was he wants tohave the number one most watched
Ted talk of all time.
He's at number two.
And and so there there arethose other competitive things
(37:45):
that life is is competition.
I mean it doesn't, it doesn'treally matter where we are.
Um so I, I I'm not the, I'm notthe person that thinks
competition is bad or it's toxic.
I do think that there are timesthat it gets out of control,
but I got to have that in mylife.
Cam (38:05):
Yeah, I love that competitiveness.
I'm, I'm, I'm learning tochannel it to be more
collaborative.
But that competitiveness, iffive comics go up in my head I'm
like, okay, I'm doingeverything in my power to be the
best comic.
I don't hope any of the comicsdo bad.
Tim (38:26):
That's the difference.
Cam (38:29):
I hope they all do their best.
I'm going to work on making mybest better than their best.
Right, and sometimes I do ashow.
There's four, four comics.
Sometimes I was the worst outof the four and I'm like, okay,
I'm gonna go back into the gym,I'm going to work on these jokes
.
I'm going to hit open guys.
They're going to see I'm nothere to mess around, right, and
(38:51):
really it's nothing against themat all.
It's just how I make myselfbetter.
Tim (38:55):
Right, and they're doing the same thing, whether they
want to admit it or not.
Cam (38:59):
And we all win Right, exactly Yo also if anyone on my
team scores, we all get goodpoints.
Exactly, I'm all about collab,collaborating and celebrating
other people's wins.
Tim (39:13):
You have to.
I mean, that's part of being ina relationship, right and with
whoever it is, whether it's apersonal relationship, a
business relationship whateverit is Situationship yeah,
(39:35):
whatever right.
This relationship, uh, uh,whatever it is situation ship
yeah, exactly, whatever right.
The the better you are, thebetter you're making our
relationship.
The the more things that you'redoing well, the better
everything is.
How can I, what is it that Ican do to help you get better at
whatever it is that you want todo?
What is it that you can do tohelp me?
Cam (39:49):
and that's that's how, that's how things grow and
that's how how you know, to me,everything is about
relationships is that's howrelationships grow right yeah,
and relationships based offenergy, and yeah, yeah and, and
energy can read things, man, I lor I get, I'm like, oh, things
that that's where the energy youput out, and energy is
(40:11):
contagious yes, it is, if youput out good energy you're gonna
run into, you're gonna findgood energy and if you're not
finding the thing you're wantingand wanting in life, maybe take
a second and evaluate if you'reputting out the type of energy
for the response you want that'sthat.
Tim (40:33):
That's a a really key point , because a lot of times, you
know, I think we we're the onesthat are putting up the the
wrong type of energy and weblame it on other people oh yeah
, when we have to look atourselves.
Cam (40:46):
Yes, tim, we gotta look at ourselves.
We all have a negative personin our life.
Right, think of that negativeperson, tim.
Does that person think they'renegative?
No, absolutely not.
How do you know that's not you?
Tim (41:02):
I'm not negative.
Cam (41:05):
We all think that, so it's something we all need to work on
, right and there's no.
I think that's whatenlightenment is.
I think enlightenment is youjust reach the top, that we can
all have room for improvement,to be more of a positive person.
But yeah, it's just something.
You'll never reach the top,it's just potential.
Tim (41:26):
And it's continuum, based on the day and the time of day
and everything that's going on,kind of like the conversation we
had just before we startedrecording about being awesome
and being phenomenal.
Right, I mean, sometimes I'mawesome and phenomenal because
there's bad stuff going on and Ijust want to be positive about
(41:49):
it and get through it.
Sometimes I'm truly beingawesome and phenomenal because
things are going really reallywell.
Cam (42:03):
Yeah, and sometimes you're not.
Life is shit, bro, right,sometimes things are hard and
it's like things.
It just seems like it's notworking out.
It's just like a domino effectexactly, and then the wrong guy
cuts me off well it's.
Tim (42:15):
You know it's funny.
You say that I drove themotorcycle into work today and
where I live it's not very muchtraffic.
There was a traffic today and Igot cut off and I immediately
got upset.
If I was in the car I wouldhave been fine, wouldn't have
cared, no big deal, but I was onthe motorcycle and I got upset.
Nothing happened.
(42:36):
But I'm thinking you're beingan idiot and it could have hurt
me.
Bad because you were an idiot.
But this guy I mean number onehe didn't do it on purpose, he
just wasn't.
He wasn't paying attention.
I was paying attention so Icould avoid the situation.
So why am I getting upset?
Just let it go and move on.
I mean there's there's certainthings that that trigger us when
(42:58):
we sit back and think about it.
Why, why are we going to letsomething like that bother?
Cam (43:03):
us.
Well, the thing is not so muchthat it's the level of your
stress when it happened.
You said if you, if you were ina car, you wouldn't have been
worried because you'd have yourseatbelt on, you'd be safe.
But your level of stress isheightened on a motorcycle and
in life.
Let's say you're dealing with alot of like financial stuff,
(43:25):
kids stuff, bills, and then yourun into an issue with a
coworker and you lose it on them.
It's because your level ofstress is so much higher and
it's really not even theinteraction or that person, but
the problem lies when youexplode on that person and then
don't go back and apologizeafter yes, we're gonna mess up,
but if you don't apologize, thenthat resentment is held.
And it really was never thatperson's fault.
(43:48):
They didn't do anything right.
It was you that rode yourmotorcycle to work and you were
stressed out and you exploded onthem and now you have an
altered relationship with yourneighbor because you lost your
mind once.
Tim (44:00):
Exactly, and and again.
It goes back to the ego andtake an ownership and
responsibility for how you feeland your and your actions and
reactions of of what's going on?
Cam (44:12):
Yeah, I, I have to have to check myself on that one and I
speak on it, but I'm like, oh,kind of like I often have to
like check myself all myreactions to things, but that's
because we're human, I mean it's.
Tim (44:24):
We're never going to be perfect, we're never going to be
do things the right way everytime, but again, taking a step
back and and and uh, being openand willing to being sorry, to,
to taking responsibility, toowning whatever it is, and
(44:46):
acknowledging that.
Cam (44:47):
Yeah.
Tim (44:48):
Because we can acknowledge it to ourselves, but that's not
really acknowledging it.
Cam (44:52):
Right?
No, and I think if you don'tadmit it to the person, if you
admit it to yourself, but onceyou admit it to the person, it
releases that weight from yoursoul, as weird as that sounds it
does.
I felt like I was hitting someceilings in life and I couldn't
kind of break through.
And it was during the pandemicand I was really frustrated and
I was just like, let me trysomething out.
(45:13):
I made a list of all the peopleI've ever had any quarrels with
, or any beef, any smoke, and Ireached out to those people and
it was, it was a text.
I texted him hey, can we talk?
And I apologized to a lot ofpeople for things that I even
think I should be apologizingfor, and I just let a bunch of
things go.
And I just let a bunch ofthings go and a few of them were
(45:35):
taken aback, like they didn'tunderstand why I was apologizing
and I was like, hey, I'm not,I'm not suicidal or anything,
I'm not, these aren't my lastgoodbyes, I'm just letting
things go.
And I wanted to apologize and Idid that with maybe a handful
of people and I let go of allissues.
The weight I didn't even know Iwas carrying.
(45:56):
It took a lot of pride to do it, by the way.
Tim (46:05):
But the weight that, let go of me, man.
It allowed me to take off.
That's amazing.
Did you talk to anybody who hadno idea what it was that you
were holding on to?
I mean, obviously there weresome people that said, okay,
yeah, I remember that, but it'sno big deal.
But how about, dude?
Cam (46:22):
I don't even remember that about most of them, bad most of
them.
One of them I didn't.
I didn't talk to this girl forabout six or seven years, uh,
and turns out, and I was just in, uh, I was an emotional time
and then she decided becausewe're just, we're friends and uh
(46:43):
, she got a boyfriend and he wastrying to establish boundaries
and I was like we're justfriends, of course I'm gonna
just show up to your houserandomly and just chill on your
couch.
I didn't understand boundariesback then and I was like, well,
if you're gonna choose him me.
And then we just didn't speakfor years.
And I got called her and Iapologize.
And it turns out like shemarried the guy and then they
got a divorce and they have,like they have a beautiful
(47:05):
daughter, and I met up withcoffee for her and we got to
catch up on years and we're westill text monthly to this day
and it's because I let go ofsomething and she didn't even
remember why I wasn't talking toher.
Tim (47:20):
Yeah.
Cam (47:20):
It was just a me thing.
Tim (47:23):
Stories we tell ourselves, we hold in, that they call that
cause, the, the anxiety and the,and the, that, that drain, that
that that mental, that mentalself-talk that is debilitating,
that puts us in these positions,that we're not good enough, or
(47:47):
you know I'm a horrible person,or whatever it is and you know,
at some point we all have, weall have to figure, figure that
out and be able to let it go.
And I'm glad that you did thatand shared that, because, again,
it's where you taking the stepsis difficult.
It's easy to do, it's easy toget over some of these things
(48:09):
Once you, once you take thatfirst step.
The heart, the heart step, isthe first step.
Once you take that first step,it becomes easier, it becomes
easier and then your life, yourlife, changes after that.
Cam (48:19):
Yeah, the heaviest weight in the gym is the front door.
Tim (48:25):
You know, you've got, you've got a couple of things
that I, I, I really that Ireally like and resonate with me
, like your, your formula oneplus two equals three for me.
Can you explain what that isfor everybody?
And I think once I hear itthey're gonna say wow, that is
just so simple.
Like how come I, how come Ididn't think about that.
Cam (48:46):
Yeah, yeah, it's not the boxer bringing you rocket
science, a very simple equation.
So, uh, I I ran this as you inhealth class.
I was like 14.
We found out how calories work.
You consume about 2000 caloriesa day.
You burn about 2000 calories aday.
You remain even.
This was great information tome because I was struggling with
(49:07):
weight and I wanted to loseweight and I'm like, okay, you
can just burn more calories thanyou can consume.
That's how you lose weight.
It's by burning more caloriesthan you consume.
Every diet you can think of isjust different variations of
burning more calories than youcan consume.
Tim (49:22):
Right.
Cam (49:23):
Now you can consume less calories, but again, that was
never an option.
So for me, I was like, okay,I'm just going to go
rollerblading every day beforeschool for an hour and that's
how I was going to burn thecalories.
And I did this morning aftermorning, after I did it six
mornings in a row and then Iwoke up in the morning seven.
(49:43):
I was like I think this is awaste of time Because I saw no
physical difference in my body.
I was sore, I was tired and Iwas frustrated and I was like
there's?
I looked at it.
I was like, okay, there's noother way to lose weight.
I've been burning calories.
I've been burning more than Iconsume.
I've been working out everymorning.
Why isn't this working?
If it's not going to work, Imight as well stop now.
(50:04):
But then I looked at it like inan equation, one plus two
equals three Me plus burningmore calories than I consume
equals losing weight.
I guess I've got to do itlonger.
And after about three monthspeople were like, oh, look at
Cam, he's getting skinny.
And I would blush, which isdifficult for black people to do
(50:28):
, but it was like confirmationthat it was working.
It was working and that was mygrapple with delayed
gratification.
That's the moment I realizedthat's the key you don't deserve
what you want yet, right,because if you would have got it
the first time, it wouldn'thave been worth that much.
Tim (50:46):
Right.
Cam (50:47):
And that's why you want it.
Tim (50:52):
And that goes back to, you know, for for me anyway,
anything worth worth having, ittakes work and you've got to get
over, you have to get overwhatever that is to get through
that.
You know the, the, the feelings, the feeling of tiredness, the
feeling of of uh, notdesperation.
(51:14):
The feeling of tiredness, thefeeling of of uh, not
desperation, but of that youcan't do it, the feeling of you
know I'm not good enough orwhatever it is.
Those are, those are allfeelings, that those have to be
put aside.
Feelings aren't actions, andit's the actions that you have
to take that are going to getyou where you need to be.
Cam (51:33):
It's the only thing you can't add to this equation.
One plus two plus three, you,you're one in this equation.
No one's going to believe inyou until you believe in
yourself.
You might as well be yournumber one, be your biggest fan,
celebrate yourself Once.
Once you believe in you, youtake the actions of someone who
does.
Then you get the results of arecognize a pattern.
(51:58):
They expect that pattern.
That's their belief in you.
Literally it does not.
They can't have belief in youuntil you believe in yourself to
take those steps.
Yeah, one plus two equals three.
Three is the goal, theobjective, the outcome.
What do you want?
The only thing that's stoppingyou is work.
You put in the work.
It's appropriately named numbertwo because of the shitty part
of the.
It's the waking up when you'resore.
It's to keep going.
When you're tired, it's notseeing progress but going out of
(52:19):
faith alone.
That's what gets you there.
But you can't add any emotionsto this equation.
I don't care if you're happy, Idon't care if you're sad, if
you're hungry.
Get the work done, done, done,and if you're able to get the
work done, you'll get theresults.
That's it.
Tim (52:37):
Understand that If you get the work done, you'll get the
results.
If you don't do the work, ifyou don't do the work, you're
going to get a different.
You're still going to getresults.
This could be a differentresult and not the one that
you're working to get.
It's the one you deserved.
Cam (52:53):
Exactly there you go.
What I often find in life is weare as successful as we expect
to be.
Yeah, if you think.
If you think, oh, I'm the typeof person who makes x amount a
year and you can't see yourselfas someone who makes more.
You're not going toaccidentally make more.
Right, we all have.
(53:15):
We have that negative first inour life.
Right, we also all have.
We all know an entitled personin life who just acts like they
walk on water and they thinkthey deserve the best of the
best of everything and the thingTim, they usually get it.
That's the annoying part.
How dare they think they'reworth that?
(53:36):
And I don't think I'm worththat.
Instead of being mad at them,be mad at yourself or start to
be entitled.
Start to treat yourself like youdeserve those things Right,
because you do.
Tim (53:55):
You deserve those things.
Tim's, that's, that's the keyright we have, that's that
mindset shift and and to me,that's what a lot of this is
that we talk about it's, youknow, changing the mindset
change how we, how we approachthings, how we look at things,
and that in itself isn't goingto be the difference, but but
that's the start of it.
You still have to do the work,yeah.
Cam (54:18):
You got to do the work.
And another thing is also hope,Find hope.
So my speech that I do thewhole idea of the speech is if
you can fail without beingdiscouraged, success becomes
inevitable.
Tim (54:35):
Yes.
Cam (54:36):
We don't quit when we fail.
Failing is a part of the game.
That's how we learn.
Failure is an opportunity togain experience Part of the
problem, right, we quit when weget discouraged, when we fall
short, when things don't workout our way, and sometimes we
get discouraged before we evenstart, so we don't.
My purpose is I want to justgive people hope.
(54:58):
Whatever that hope they need toallow them to try one more time
, because if you try again,you're going to be better the
second time.
Like if you fail the seventhgrade and you had to take
seventh grade over again, itwould be easier the second time.
That's with everything in life.
Just because we're older, wedon't want to do the same thing
twice.
That's how you get there.
Tim (55:23):
Exactly, exactly.
You know, and I'm glad you saidwhat you said about you know if
you can fail without beingdiscouraged, success becomes
inevitable.
You know you've also said attimes that the best things that
have happened to you have comeafter terrible things To date.
(55:43):
What's your greatest success?
Cam (55:46):
Ooh, my greatest success is uh, I get to keep the F in my
name.
I'll explain what that means,please.
In 2012, I legally changed myname to KMF.
Also, on my birth certificateit's just the letter F, and I
did that because one.
I thought it would be funny andI'm a child and I want to keep
(56:09):
that child-like part of my life.
You have to, a 13-year-oldchanges his middle name to the
letter F.
That's what happened and it'sbecause I wanted to keep that
inner child and give myself joyand hope and optimism and that
playful attachment in life.
And I'm in a situation whereI'm a speaker.
I could book a lot more gigsand have a lot more success if I
(56:32):
just took the F out of my name.
No you can't do it, I won't doit.
Tim (56:37):
Can't do it, you can't do it.
Cam (56:39):
The fact that I can authentically leave that F there
, although it taints my success.
I get to be me, and to methat's the greatest success.
Tim (56:51):
Dude, I love that.
I can't tell you how much Ilove that I'm 57 years old.
I can't tell you.
I can't tell you how much Ilove that.
You know it's.
I'm 57 years old.
I I still think I'm a 12 yearold kid.
I really do, and it comes up onthe regular.
you know, a couple of days agomy wife said something and my
mind started going in placesthat it goes with your wife and
(57:12):
she said how old are you?
I said you know exactly how oldI am.
I'm 12, you know, and.
But that's, that's part.
That's part.
That's who we are, right, andif that's, and if that's who you
are, that's that's the bestthing in the world, and I don't
really care if it's, I can'twork over here because this is
who I am.
That's, that's fine.
It's not a good fit, it's great, and that's great.
(57:34):
It's great for you, it's greatfor me, and that's that's why I
love it so much for you thatyou're being who you are, you're
you're you're, you're beingauthentic, and people are either
going to love you and embraceyou for that or they're not, and
, and either way, that's great,it's perfect perfect.
Cam (57:54):
Yeah, there's really an in-between right, right, yeah,
and but I, I do enjoy that andit's and I will say, sometimes
it's like, oh, if I, if I werejust to conform and be different
.
But what I realized is whathappened in in life was we got
access to the internet, whichmeans we got to see how all of
(58:14):
us were living.
And some of us took the saferroute with a corporate job, so
we had to wear the suit andcarry ourselves in a certain way
, and we do it for the paycheckand it's part of the job, no big
deal.
But then we have to carryourselves in a certain way on
social media because now it'sconnected to our job.
But then we started to see otherpeople hosts about the way they
(58:37):
live and they're not followingthe rules I have to follow.
I don't technically want tofollow these rules they're not
my own personal authentic rulesbut it's how I get a job Right.
So I'm going to complain aboutthose people online.
How dare they live theirauthentic self when I have?
And the thing is, a lot of usare forced in a position where
we can't be our authentic selvesbecause of the paycheck we've
(58:58):
attached ourselves to and noshade at all because we have to
make a living.
Somehow you have a window oftime after your work day to work
on what you want to do andchase your passion and find that
thing that gives you hope.
Tim (59:13):
Right, absolutely.
And you know, I think that I'mjust going to put it into a
different, into a perspective.
You know, I was a collegeprofessor and I was always the
person that was doing the thingsthat everybody wanted to do but
(59:35):
would never actually do.
Sometimes it worked out greatfor me, sometimes it didn't work
out so well for me, but I wasalways but I always knew that
going into it and it comes.
That also comes down to like,like I said before, being who
you are and being okay with whoyou are and not worrying about
(59:58):
what everybody else is doing.
Right, and now, on the otherside, doing this, not having the
regular job, I'm still doingwhat I would do, but I find
myself questioning it a littlebit more, because it now truly
my paycheck and what I get paidtruly revolves around the things
(01:00:22):
that I say or do, oh yeah, andmore often than not, and whether
, whether it's I don't know ifit's helped or hurt Nobody's
really said anything to me yetUm, I'm still doing the things
that I would normally do, eventhough I'm, even though I'm
thinking about it a little bitmore.
Cam (01:00:41):
Yeah, you're, you're conscious of it because it's
it's connected to your paycheck.
And there's still things.
Even as a speaker myself and Ispeak at schools there's certain
things.
There's certain posts I won'teven like on social media.
There's a certain way I have tocarry myself, uh, and it's
because that is my reputation,although I don't care what
people think, I have to care howI carry myself because I am my
business and, uh, what I'velearned?
(01:01:04):
Is I not a yeah, I'm not not areligious person, but I was
having a conversation with areligious person and they
mentioned they, they referred tolife as the marketplace and
like they come out to themarketplace and it's like they
almost come out with theheathens to do business and they
(01:01:25):
understand that it's a part oflife, and then they go back to
their safe chambers of theircommunity.
I was like, oh, I never lookedat it like that.
Uh, so I, I live my life in my,my safe community.
I come out, I interact withothers, I want everyone to feel
good and be be well, but I goback to my little community
after.
Tim (01:01:48):
That's an interesting, interesting way of looking at
life.
I'd have to give that somethought.
I don't know.
See, I don't look at everythingas a transaction, though I
don't.
To me that just seems verytransactional.
Cam (01:02:03):
Yeah, yeah, oh then, that's .
I get that often, thattransactional thing, because
when you mentioned the thingabout efficiency, I'm very big
on efficiency and sometimes myefficiency looks as
transactional but I'm like, hey,how can I help you?
Because I mean that what I wantto know immediately is how can
(01:02:24):
I help you?
Yes, and tell me thatimmediately, because then then I
know how, that I can see wheremy role is in this relationship.
Right, because I just wanteveryone to get better.
Yes, I don't think there'sanything wrong with you the way
you are, but if I can make yourlife improve in any way that
brings me joy, it's my selfishsin.
Tim (01:02:42):
Yes, and I agree with you.
Let's just put it like that the,but I still see that as
transformational, even though II'm doing something for you, I
(01:03:07):
still see that.
That it's transformational inin that we're building
relationships and that's whatpeople in good relationships do
they help each other.
That's to be better.
It's not if you do this, I'lldo that.
If you do this, I'll be yourfriend.
If you do this, okay, yeah, Imay give you money.
(01:03:31):
That's transactional, but whenyou're talking about helping
somebody in their life, in theirbusiness, in their um, in their
thought process and whatever itis, that that to me is is more
from the transformational side,not the if I do this and you're
going to do this type of thing.
Cam (01:03:49):
You know what I mean.
Yeah, I get I and I often uh um, and I often so my community
I'm not transactional about, butwhen I go out into the market I
can't just give everything awayExactly.
But what I want to do is I wantto give more value than I'm
(01:04:09):
charging.
That way, you subscribe again?
Tim (01:04:15):
Yes, yes, that's it, you're exactly again.
Cam (01:04:19):
Yes, yes, that's it, you're exactly right.
Yeah, and these are just anyother thoughts I'm thinking out
loud as we go, but yeah.
Tim (01:04:25):
Well, you know, at one point and I laugh saying this, I
was thinking about how I wantto put this At one point, you
lived in a van down by the riverso, and not a lot of people
were going to get that reference.
Cam (01:04:44):
I didn't get it when I first heard it.
I had to Google it.
Tim (01:04:46):
Did you really?
Cam (01:04:46):
Yeah, someone was like you should live in a van down by the
river, and that's how I endedup living in a van.
Tim (01:04:56):
I was like oh, people can live in vans.
I'd never considered it before.
So so I'm a.
I don't live in a van, but I'ma full-time RVer.
So it's, oh, that's dope man, Ilive in a bus, but I do know
people that you know havetraveled the country in advance.
I could never do that.
It's just too small.
Cam (01:05:15):
I mean I just girlfriend's like you don't have pillowcases
in here, yeah, so when she metme, I was living in the van.
Tim (01:05:23):
What am I going to do with a pillowcase?
Yeah, that's just one morething.
Cam (01:05:26):
Yeah, I'm going to wash that oh boy.
Tim (01:05:31):
But where can people find you to work with you and find
out what you're doing?
Cam (01:05:35):
But where can people find you, to work with you and find
out what you're doing.
You can find me at Cam FAwesome on all social media
platforms, because I'm notfamous enough for anyone to take
my name.
Tim (01:05:46):
And also camfawesomecom.
I would encourage people to goto the website and watch some of
the watch.
Watch Cam deliver some of themessages that he's delivering.
Uh, you know, with, with, withall of the guests that we've had
on here, cam, and I need totell you this uh, your message
(01:06:09):
and your delivery is phenomenal,it's, it's powerful, it's
engaging's, it's powerful, it'sengaging.
If it makes me think, then I'msure it's going to make other
people think.
You know, because it's, youknow, the, the way you come
across and you were, uh, I'm asimple person, I mean, and, like
(01:06:36):
I said, the, the, the formulaone plus two equals three
formula.
That's just.
That's just.
It doesn't require a lot ofdeep thought, it's just right
there in front of you, and so Iencourage people to go and watch
some of the things that you'retalking about, watch what you're
doing, and and really reach outto Cam, because he, he, he can
help you.
So I'll just leave it at that.
Thank you, tim.
(01:06:57):
I appreciate that Sure thing.
Sure thing Well, cam, I've beenlooking forward to this
conversation and it didn'tdisappoint.
I really do appreciate youspending some time with us today
.
Take care and we'll talk to yousoon.
Thanks for having me, tim.
Be sure to visitspeakingwithconfidencepodcastcom
to get your free ebook the Top21 Challenges for Public
Speakers and how to Overcomethem.
(01:07:18):
You can also register for theForum for Public Speaking.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change the world.
We'll talk to you next time.
Cam (01:07:27):
Take care.
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