June 12, 2025 • 13 mins
Are you an introvert who dreads networking events or fast-paced meetings? Good news: you don’t have to become an extrovert to be a powerful communicator.
In this episode, I share real-world strategies tailored for introverts who want to boost their communication skills without changing who they are. You’ll learn how to own your voice, embrace your natural strengths, and create authentic connections, one meaningful conversation at a time.
I talk about:
- The 30-Second Rule for getting your voice heard in meetings
- The Two-Deep Strategy to make networking less draining (and more effective)
- How to use written communication to express yourself with clarity and impact
- Why active listening might be your most underrated leadership tool
- How to overcome imposter syndrome without pretending to be someone you're not
Whether you’ve been told to “speak up more” or you’re just tired of feeling overlooked, this episode offers a refreshing, practical toolkit to help introverts lead with confidence and connection.
Download your free eBook, Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers & How to Overcome Them, and explore the Formula for Public Speaking course at timnewmanspeaks.com.
Want to be a guest on Speaking With Confidence? Send Tim Newman a message on PodMatch
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tim (00:08):
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, the podcast
that helps you build the softskills that lead to real results
Communication, storytelling,public speaking and showing up
with confidence in everyconversation that counts.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide you on your
journey to become a powerfulcommunicator.
Make sure you hit the subscribebutton so you never miss an
(00:32):
episode.
In this episode, I want to giveyou three things that
introverts can do to improvetheir communication skills today
.
Let's get started.
Imagine this you walk into anetworking event, your palms are
sweating and you're alreadyscanning the room for an escape
route.
We've been told networking isabout working the room, but
(00:52):
here's the truth.
Introverts have a uniqueadvantage.
Research shows that introvertsare naturally gifted listeners,
allowing them to build deeper,more meaningful connections than
most people realize.
So, instead of forcing yourselfto adopt extroverted tactics,
you can leverage your ability toallowing them to build deeper,
more meaningful connections thanmost people realize.
So, instead of forcing yourselfto adopt extroverted tactics,
you can leverage your ability tolisten, reflect and connect
(01:13):
one-on-one skills that havehelped many introverts succeed.
By understanding and usingthese strengths, you can
navigate communicationchallenges in ways that feel
authentic and energizing.
But what about situations wherethe pace feels too quick, like
in meetings, when theconversation moves faster than
your thoughts?
In meetings, it can feel likeeveryone else is speaking before
(01:35):
you've even finished processingthe question.
This isn't a sign that you'reslow or disengaged.
It's actually a reflection ofyour brain's deep processing
strength.
Researchers like Taylor havefound that introverts' natural
tendency to pause and reflectleads to higher quality, more
thoughtful input.
While extroverts may be quickto offer initial reactions, your
(01:57):
considered responses oftenspark deeper, more meaningful
discussion.
And that pause before you speakis your mind doing careful
analysis, not hesitating out ofuncertainty.
The challenge is that meetingculture often rewards speed, not
depth.
By the time you've formed yourthoughts to the conversation,
they've already moved on.
This can make you feel likeyour insights are being
(02:20):
overlooked, even though they maybe exactly what the group needs
.
Zolinski and colleagues pointout that when introverts speak
up, the contributions oftenshift the discussion in valuable
ways.
The key is making sure yourvoice gets heard before the
moment passes.
So one practical strategy isthe 30-second rule for speaking
up Before the meeting.
(02:40):
Review the agenda and identifytwo topics where you have
insight or experience.
Prepare a short 30-secondversion of your perspective for
each.
When those topics come up, aimto speak early in the discussion
, ideally within the first fewresponses.
This approach lets you leverageyour strength and preparation
and ensures your thoughtfulinput shapes the direction of
(03:02):
the conversation.
If something unexpected comesup, it's okay to ask for a
moment to think, simply say letme consider that for a second.
Most people will pause and thatbrief silence signals that your
answer is being carefullyconsidered, not delayed by
uncertainty.
Practicing a simple three-partstructure.
Practicing a simple three-partstructure One, acknowledge the
(03:24):
previous point.
Two, share your perspective.
And three, connected to thebigger picture can help your
contributions land with clarityand impact.
With a plan in place, you canmake your voice heard without
sacrificing your naturalstrengths.
The same principle appliesoutside the meeting room,
especially when it comes tobuilding professional
(03:46):
relationships in environmentsthat often feel tailored for
extroverts.
When it comes to networking,introverts often find themselves
navigating environments thatseem engineered for extroverts
Loud spaces, quick introductionsand unspoken pressure to
collect as many business cardsas possible.
But effective networking isn'tabout quantity.
It's about the quality of eachconnection, and this is where
(04:10):
introverts excel.
Research by Raja and colleaguesshows that introverts thrive in
one-on-one conversations wherethey can engage thoughtfully and
let their personalities shinewithout feeling overwhelmed.
Rather than trying to meeteveryone in the room, introverts
benefit from focusing theirenergy on a few meaningful
interactions.
The usual advice to work theroom doesn't take into account
(04:34):
how introverts operate best.
Extroverts may draw energy fromflitting between groups, but
introverts are most effective insmaller focused conversations
listening, reflecting andresponding with intention.
Again, raja and others alsofound that when introverts and
extroverts collaborate byexercising their personalities
(04:54):
with thoughtfulness andrestraint, they both build more
genuine personal relationships.
A practical approach forintroverts is the two-deep
strategy.
For those wondering, I'm nottalking about a football defense
coverage Before attending anevent, choose two people you
generally want to connect with.
It could be a speaker, apanelist or someone who shares
(05:16):
your interests.
Do some light research so youhave some authentic conversation
starters ready to go and, whenthe time comes, aim to spend 15
to 20 minutes in realconversation with each person.
There's no need to rush orforce small talk.
Focus on grounded, honestinteraction.
This method echoes Herbert andothers, who recommend
(05:37):
organizational plans that allowfor diverse team compositions
and flexible approaches, makingspace for introverts to
contribute in the ways that suitthem.
If surface-level small talkfeels exhausting, steer the
conversation a bit deeper.
Instead of asking what do youdo?
Try what surprised you mostabout your work recently?
Questions like these invitemore meaningful exchanges,
(05:59):
helping you connect beyond thebasics.
You can also make networkingmore manageable by arriving
early, when the room is quieterand conversations start more
naturally.
And conversations start morenaturally Again.
Herbert and others suggest thatflexible environments benefit
introverts, and a quieter startcan set the tone for the rest of
the event.
And don't hesitate to takebreaks if needed.
(06:21):
Stepping away to recharge isnot only acceptable, it's smart.
Where introverts truly stand outis in the follow-up.
A short personal message withina day mentioning a specific
detail from your conversationcan turn a brief interaction
into a lasting connection.
Many introverts rememberdetails others overlook.
(06:45):
Making their follow-ups morememorable and genuine Networking
doesn't have to be overwhelmingor transactional.
By focusing on fewer, richerconversations, introverts can
leave events with stronger, moreauthentic connections and far
less exhaustion.
And it's often these deeperinteractions that set the stage
for your next advantage thepower of listening.
In professional settings, theability to listen can set you
(07:05):
apart, especially if you didn'ttake in information quietly
while others fill the room withconversation.
Research by Denar and Taylorshow that introverts excel at
active listening and empathy,two skills that are often
overlooked but highly valued inthe workplace.
Rather than focusing onspeaking, the most introverts
pay close attention to whatothers say, picking up on subtle
(07:27):
cues and underlying concerns.
This habit of deep listeningbuilds trust and encourages
collaboration, making othersfeel genuinely heard and
understood.
Listening isn't just aboutbeing quiet.
It's about being fully present.
Introverts often show this bygiving their full attention,
asking thoughtful questions andreflecting back on what they've
(07:47):
heard, for example, paraphrasingsomeone's point.
So you're weighing speedagainst cost and then following
up with a thoughtful question orinsight that demonstrates that
you've actually engaged and areempathetic.
Again, dinar and others foundthat these habits foster a sense
of psychological safety andstrengthen professional
relationships.
(08:08):
When people feel heard, theyare more likely to share
important information and trustyour judgment.
In group discussions or meetings, introverts may not be the
first to speak up, but when theydo, the contributions are more
impactful.
Taylor and others noted thatintroverts' responses add depth
to conversations because theyare grounded in careful
(08:28):
listening and consideration.
Rather than dominating theconversation, introverts help
surface ideas that mightotherwise go unnoticed and
clarify what matters most to thegroup.
This approach extends toleadership and negotiation as
well.
Rajah and others found thatintroverted leaders tend to
coach and empower others throughone-on-one communication,
(08:48):
leading to better team outcomes.
And by listening closely,introverts notice shifts in tone
, word choice and body languagethat reveal what's really being
said, and this awareness allowsthem to respond more
strategically, whethernavigating a negotiation or
managing a difficultconversation.
Listening is not a passive act.
(09:09):
It's a deliberate, strategicchoice.
By using active listening,introverts can shape discussions
, build trust and lead withauthenticity.
Sometimes, the most effectiveway to communicate and influence
isn't through speaking at all.
Written communication is oftenwhere introverts find their most
(09:33):
effective mode of expression.
In the digital age, platformslike LinkedIn, slack and email
create opportunities forintroverts to communicate on
their own teams.
Lernosity's research highlightsthat online communication
empowers introverts to sharetheir ideas authentically,
allowing them to refine theirthoughts and contribute with
clarity.
This ability to take time,organize ideas and deliver
(09:58):
well-crafted messages is astrength that stands out in
professional environments, whereclear and concise communication
is highly valued.
Writing offers something thatspontaneous conversation rarely
does the chance to think beforeresponding.
Introverts can use this totheir advantage, preparing
responses that are precise andwell-structured.
This methodical approachdoesn't just improve clarity.
(10:20):
It helps reducemisunderstandings and ensure
that instructions or feedbackare easy to follow.
In fact, hudson and Fergusonfound that introverts'
creativity often flourishesduring solitary work, which
fuels innovation and leads tomore original solutions.
Rather than relying on quickbrainstorming sessions,
introverts can use writing todevelop ideas in depth before
(10:42):
presenting them to a group.
And when it comes to email,introverts often pause to
consider their words, resultingin thoughtful and
well-structured responses.
Taylor found that these writtencommunications are perceived as
more compassionate andempathetic, which can strengthen
professional relationships andbuild trust.
The focus is on clarity andsubstance rather than volume,
(11:04):
making each message moreimpactful.
On LinkedIn and similarplatforms, introverts can post
less frequently but with moremeaningful content to attract
better professionalopportunities than those who
post daily with little depth.
This approach fewer but richercontributions mirrors how
introverts operate in personLess noise, more meaning In
(11:28):
meetings.
Written contributions such aspre-reads or follow-up summaries
can be especially effective.
Teams that use these writtentools often make better
decisions, as everyone has timeto process and contribute
thoughtfully.
For introverts, viewing writingas a primary communication tool
rather than just a backup canshift the way they participate
(11:49):
and lead, and recognizing thevalue of written communication
means understanding thateffective communication doesn't
require changing who you are.
Introverted communicationstrengths like active listening,
thoughtful preparation andmeaningful one-on-one
connections play a critical rolein effective teamwork and
leadership.
Herbert and others highlightthat when organizations
(12:10):
understand and supportintroversion, they benefit from
greater creativity, diversityand overall performance.
The reward sensitivity theory,discussed by Kane in the 1920s
and referenced by Lerniosity,also helped explain why
introverts excel in environmentswhere depth and reflection
matter.
So the next time you feelpressure to adopt a louder style
(12:35):
, remember that your quietapproach brings real value.
Try one of these strategieswhether it's a 30-second rule,
focused networking or writtencommunication and share in the
comments which quietcommunication tip you'll try.
First, remember we're lookingfor progress, not perfection.
That's all for today.
Be sure to visitspeakingwithconfidencepodcastcom
to get your free e-book the Top21 Challenges for Public
(12:56):
Speakers and how to Overcomethem.
You can also register for theForeman for Public Speaking
course.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change the world,
not overcome them.
You can also register for theForeman for Public Speaking
course.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change the world.
We'll talk to you next time,take care.
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, the podcast
that helps you build the softskills that lead to real results
Communication, storytelling,public speaking and showing up
with confidence in everyconversation that counts.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide you on your
journey to become a powerfulcommunicator.
Make sure you hit the subscribebutton so you never miss an
(00:32):
episode.
In this episode, I want to giveyou three things that
introverts can do to improvetheir communication skills today
.
Let's get started.
Imagine this you walk into anetworking event, your palms are
sweating and you're alreadyscanning the room for an escape
route.
We've been told networking isabout working the room, but
(00:52):
here's the truth.
Introverts have a uniqueadvantage.
Research shows that introvertsare naturally gifted listeners,
allowing them to build deeper,more meaningful connections than
most people realize.
So, instead of forcing yourselfto adopt extroverted tactics,
you can leverage your ability toallowing them to build deeper,
more meaningful connections thanmost people realize.
So, instead of forcing yourselfto adopt extroverted tactics,
you can leverage your ability tolisten, reflect and connect
(01:13):
one-on-one skills that havehelped many introverts succeed.
By understanding and usingthese strengths, you can
navigate communicationchallenges in ways that feel
authentic and energizing.
But what about situations wherethe pace feels too quick, like
in meetings, when theconversation moves faster than
your thoughts?
In meetings, it can feel likeeveryone else is speaking before
(01:35):
you've even finished processingthe question.
This isn't a sign that you'reslow or disengaged.
It's actually a reflection ofyour brain's deep processing
strength.
Researchers like Taylor havefound that introverts' natural
tendency to pause and reflectleads to higher quality, more
thoughtful input.
While extroverts may be quickto offer initial reactions, your
(01:57):
considered responses oftenspark deeper, more meaningful
discussion.
And that pause before you speakis your mind doing careful
analysis, not hesitating out ofuncertainty.
The challenge is that meetingculture often rewards speed, not
depth.
By the time you've formed yourthoughts to the conversation,
they've already moved on.
This can make you feel likeyour insights are being
(02:20):
overlooked, even though they maybe exactly what the group needs
.
Zolinski and colleagues pointout that when introverts speak
up, the contributions oftenshift the discussion in valuable
ways.
The key is making sure yourvoice gets heard before the
moment passes.
So one practical strategy isthe 30-second rule for speaking
up Before the meeting.
(02:40):
Review the agenda and identifytwo topics where you have
insight or experience.
Prepare a short 30-secondversion of your perspective for
each.
When those topics come up, aimto speak early in the discussion
, ideally within the first fewresponses.
This approach lets you leverageyour strength and preparation
and ensures your thoughtfulinput shapes the direction of
(03:02):
the conversation.
If something unexpected comesup, it's okay to ask for a
moment to think, simply say letme consider that for a second.
Most people will pause and thatbrief silence signals that your
answer is being carefullyconsidered, not delayed by
uncertainty.
Practicing a simple three-partstructure.
Practicing a simple three-partstructure One, acknowledge the
(03:24):
previous point.
Two, share your perspective.
And three, connected to thebigger picture can help your
contributions land with clarityand impact.
With a plan in place, you canmake your voice heard without
sacrificing your naturalstrengths.
The same principle appliesoutside the meeting room,
especially when it comes tobuilding professional
(03:46):
relationships in environmentsthat often feel tailored for
extroverts.
When it comes to networking,introverts often find themselves
navigating environments thatseem engineered for extroverts
Loud spaces, quick introductionsand unspoken pressure to
collect as many business cardsas possible.
But effective networking isn'tabout quantity.
It's about the quality of eachconnection, and this is where
(04:10):
introverts excel.
Research by Raja and colleaguesshows that introverts thrive in
one-on-one conversations wherethey can engage thoughtfully and
let their personalities shinewithout feeling overwhelmed.
Rather than trying to meeteveryone in the room, introverts
benefit from focusing theirenergy on a few meaningful
interactions.
The usual advice to work theroom doesn't take into account
(04:34):
how introverts operate best.
Extroverts may draw energy fromflitting between groups, but
introverts are most effective insmaller focused conversations
listening, reflecting andresponding with intention.
Again, raja and others alsofound that when introverts and
extroverts collaborate byexercising their personalities
(04:54):
with thoughtfulness andrestraint, they both build more
genuine personal relationships.
A practical approach forintroverts is the two-deep
strategy.
For those wondering, I'm nottalking about a football defense
coverage Before attending anevent, choose two people you
generally want to connect with.
It could be a speaker, apanelist or someone who shares
(05:16):
your interests.
Do some light research so youhave some authentic conversation
starters ready to go and, whenthe time comes, aim to spend 15
to 20 minutes in realconversation with each person.
There's no need to rush orforce small talk.
Focus on grounded, honestinteraction.
This method echoes Herbert andothers, who recommend
(05:37):
organizational plans that allowfor diverse team compositions
and flexible approaches, makingspace for introverts to
contribute in the ways that suitthem.
If surface-level small talkfeels exhausting, steer the
conversation a bit deeper.
Instead of asking what do youdo?
Try what surprised you mostabout your work recently?
Questions like these invitemore meaningful exchanges,
(05:59):
helping you connect beyond thebasics.
You can also make networkingmore manageable by arriving
early, when the room is quieterand conversations start more
naturally.
And conversations start morenaturally Again.
Herbert and others suggest thatflexible environments benefit
introverts, and a quieter startcan set the tone for the rest of
the event.
And don't hesitate to takebreaks if needed.
(06:21):
Stepping away to recharge isnot only acceptable, it's smart.
Where introverts truly stand outis in the follow-up.
A short personal message withina day mentioning a specific
detail from your conversationcan turn a brief interaction
into a lasting connection.
Many introverts rememberdetails others overlook.
(06:45):
Making their follow-ups morememorable and genuine Networking
doesn't have to be overwhelmingor transactional.
By focusing on fewer, richerconversations, introverts can
leave events with stronger, moreauthentic connections and far
less exhaustion.
And it's often these deeperinteractions that set the stage
for your next advantage thepower of listening.
In professional settings, theability to listen can set you
(07:05):
apart, especially if you didn'ttake in information quietly
while others fill the room withconversation.
Research by Denar and Taylorshow that introverts excel at
active listening and empathy,two skills that are often
overlooked but highly valued inthe workplace.
Rather than focusing onspeaking, the most introverts
pay close attention to whatothers say, picking up on subtle
(07:27):
cues and underlying concerns.
This habit of deep listeningbuilds trust and encourages
collaboration, making othersfeel genuinely heard and
understood.
Listening isn't just aboutbeing quiet.
It's about being fully present.
Introverts often show this bygiving their full attention,
asking thoughtful questions andreflecting back on what they've
(07:47):
heard, for example, paraphrasingsomeone's point.
So you're weighing speedagainst cost and then following
up with a thoughtful question orinsight that demonstrates that
you've actually engaged and areempathetic.
Again, dinar and others foundthat these habits foster a sense
of psychological safety andstrengthen professional
relationships.
(08:08):
When people feel heard, theyare more likely to share
important information and trustyour judgment.
In group discussions or meetings, introverts may not be the
first to speak up, but when theydo, the contributions are more
impactful.
Taylor and others noted thatintroverts' responses add depth
to conversations because theyare grounded in careful
(08:28):
listening and consideration.
Rather than dominating theconversation, introverts help
surface ideas that mightotherwise go unnoticed and
clarify what matters most to thegroup.
This approach extends toleadership and negotiation as
well.
Rajah and others found thatintroverted leaders tend to
coach and empower others throughone-on-one communication,
(08:48):
leading to better team outcomes.
And by listening closely,introverts notice shifts in tone
, word choice and body languagethat reveal what's really being
said, and this awareness allowsthem to respond more
strategically, whethernavigating a negotiation or
managing a difficultconversation.
Listening is not a passive act.
(09:09):
It's a deliberate, strategicchoice.
By using active listening,introverts can shape discussions
, build trust and lead withauthenticity.
Sometimes, the most effectiveway to communicate and influence
isn't through speaking at all.
Written communication is oftenwhere introverts find their most
(09:33):
effective mode of expression.
In the digital age, platformslike LinkedIn, slack and email
create opportunities forintroverts to communicate on
their own teams.
Lernosity's research highlightsthat online communication
empowers introverts to sharetheir ideas authentically,
allowing them to refine theirthoughts and contribute with
clarity.
This ability to take time,organize ideas and deliver
(09:58):
well-crafted messages is astrength that stands out in
professional environments, whereclear and concise communication
is highly valued.
Writing offers something thatspontaneous conversation rarely
does the chance to think beforeresponding.
Introverts can use this totheir advantage, preparing
responses that are precise andwell-structured.
This methodical approachdoesn't just improve clarity.
(10:20):
It helps reducemisunderstandings and ensure
that instructions or feedbackare easy to follow.
In fact, hudson and Fergusonfound that introverts'
creativity often flourishesduring solitary work, which
fuels innovation and leads tomore original solutions.
Rather than relying on quickbrainstorming sessions,
introverts can use writing todevelop ideas in depth before
(10:42):
presenting them to a group.
And when it comes to email,introverts often pause to
consider their words, resultingin thoughtful and
well-structured responses.
Taylor found that these writtencommunications are perceived as
more compassionate andempathetic, which can strengthen
professional relationships andbuild trust.
The focus is on clarity andsubstance rather than volume,
(11:04):
making each message moreimpactful.
On LinkedIn and similarplatforms, introverts can post
less frequently but with moremeaningful content to attract
better professionalopportunities than those who
post daily with little depth.
This approach fewer but richercontributions mirrors how
introverts operate in personLess noise, more meaning In
(11:28):
meetings.
Written contributions such aspre-reads or follow-up summaries
can be especially effective.
Teams that use these writtentools often make better
decisions, as everyone has timeto process and contribute
thoughtfully.
For introverts, viewing writingas a primary communication tool
rather than just a backup canshift the way they participate
(11:49):
and lead, and recognizing thevalue of written communication
means understanding thateffective communication doesn't
require changing who you are.
Introverted communicationstrengths like active listening,
thoughtful preparation andmeaningful one-on-one
connections play a critical rolein effective teamwork and
leadership.
Herbert and others highlightthat when organizations
(12:10):
understand and supportintroversion, they benefit from
greater creativity, diversityand overall performance.
The reward sensitivity theory,discussed by Kane in the 1920s
and referenced by Lerniosity,also helped explain why
introverts excel in environmentswhere depth and reflection
matter.
So the next time you feelpressure to adopt a louder style
(12:35):
, remember that your quietapproach brings real value.
Try one of these strategieswhether it's a 30-second rule,
focused networking or writtencommunication and share in the
comments which quietcommunication tip you'll try.
First, remember we're lookingfor progress, not perfection.
That's all for today.
Be sure to visitspeakingwithconfidencepodcastcom
to get your free e-book the Top21 Challenges for Public
(12:56):
Speakers and how to Overcomethem.
You can also register for theForeman for Public Speaking
course.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change the world,
not overcome them.
You can also register for theForeman for Public Speaking
course.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change the world.
We'll talk to you next time,take care.
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