July 17, 2025 • 11 mins
Have you ever watched someone walk into a room and instantly capture attention, without even saying a word? That’s charisma. But here’s the truth: it’s not some mystical, born-with-it energy. It’s a set of communication skills that you can master.
In this solo episode of Speaking with Confidence, I unpack what charisma really is and how it ties directly into being a powerful communicator. Whether you're leading a team, giving a presentation, or just trying not to disappear in a meeting, the balance of warmth and competence is your secret weapon.
We’ll explore how your body language can speak volumes before your voice does, how simple adjustments can shift how people perceive you, and how your mindset may be the biggest block to developing your presence.
Here’s what we’ll cover:
- The science-backed truth: charisma is a learnable behavior
- Why presence, power, and warmth matter more than your title
- Body language habits that increase your impact
- How to project confidence and still be approachable
- Tools to boost public speaking confidence and fight imposter syndrome
Resources mentioned:
Get the free guide: The Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers (and How to Overcome Them)
Register for The Formula for Public Speaking course
Want to be a guest on Speaking With Confidence? Send Tim Newman a message on PodMatch
Speaking With Confidence
Formula for Public Speaking
Facebook
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tim (00:08):
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, a podcast that
helps you build the soft skillsthat lead to real results
Communication, storytelling,public speaking and showing up
with confidence in everyconversation that counts.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide you on your
journey to becoming a powerfulcommunicator.
Make sure you hit the subscribebutton so you never miss an
(00:29):
episode.
A couple of episodes ago, Imentioned that I told my
students they needed to stopusing filler words, but I never
told them how to do it.
It hit me that I talk about thepower and importance of
connecting.
In almost every episode, I talkabout listening, being present
(00:50):
and being authentic.
Those things are criticallyimportant in terms of being a
confident and powerfulcommunicator.
But have you ever left a meetingor networking event feeling
invisible, even though you hadgood ideas to share?
Have you ever noticed how somepeople seem to draw attention
and make others feel valued fromthe moment they walk in the
room?
Now, some people seem to drawattention and make others feel
valued from the moment they walkin the room.
That effect isn't random.
It's built on a set of specificbehaviors that create a genuine
(01:14):
emotional connection.
That's charisma, and it is whatwe're going to talk about today
.
Neuroscience research confirmsthat charisma isn't something
you're born with.
Experts have shown it's a skillanyone can learn by adjusting
how they use body language,voice and attention.
If you're ready to become morememorable and influential in
your professional interactions,you're in the right place.
But if charisma is learnable,why does it still feel out of
(01:38):
reach for so many people?
The idea that charisma issomething you're simply born
with is one of the mostpersistent myths in professional
life.
For decades, many people haveassumed that effortless charm is
kind of an innate magicreserved for the lucky few.
But research tells a differentstory.
Charisma is not an accident ofbirth.
(01:59):
It's a skill built throughspecific, repeatable behaviors
and deliberate practice.
It's a skill built throughspecific, repeatable behaviors
and deliberate practice.
Ulrich Jensen, a professor atArizona State University,
describes charisma as a set ofstylistic expressions that
anyone can build into theircommunication.
This means that what we see asnatural charisma is usually the
(02:24):
result of focused effort.
Take Steve Jobs, for example.
Early in his career, hispresentations were far from
captivating.
Over time, through repeatedpractice and refinement, he
developed the presence, powerand projection that made him a
legendary communicator.
There's also evidence from a2023 study of 350 governor
speeches, the most trustedleaders consistently used
(02:46):
deliberate tactics likepurposeful pauses and targeted
gestures to earn credibility andconnection.
The real obstacle, though, ismindset.
When people believe charisma isfixed, they're much less likely
to work on it, but a study fromHarvard's Kennedy School found
that participants who believedcharisma could be learned
improved their persuasiveness by60% compared to those who
(03:08):
thought it was innate, andthat's a memorable difference,
driven by the simple belief thatgrowth is possible.
Charisma is not a single trait,but a blend of learnable skills.
Olivia Fox Cobain, author ofthe Charisma Myth, breaks it
down into three core elementsPresence, power and warmth.
(03:28):
These aren't mysteriousqualities.
They're expressed throughconcrete, nonverbal behaviors
like eye contact, vocal tone andattentive listening all things
we've talked about.
Even the most naturallycharismatic people often spend
years honing these skills,whether they're actors training
for stage presence or CEOsrehearsing every line and
(03:51):
gesture before a bigpresentation.
Where CEOs rehearsing everyline and gesture before a big
presentation.
Once you start viewing charismaas something you do rather than
something you are, your approachchanges.
You begin to treat everyconversation as practice,
focusing on what you can controland improve, and, with the
(04:12):
right mindset, you stop waitingfor confidence to appear and
start building it through youractions.
At the heart of charismaticcommunication lies a specific
balance making people feelvalued while also demonstrating
your expertise.
This combination is whatconsistently sets memorable
professionals apart, and itforms the foundation for
(04:33):
everything that follows.
Every truly charismaticinteraction hinges on something
psychologists call the warmthcompetence balance and,
according to psychology today,charisma is the intersection of
two core qualities Warmth,meaning empathy and
approachability, and competence,which covers confidence and
expertise.
In the first few moments of anymeeting, people instinctively
(04:55):
scan for both.
We're wired to trust those whoseem genuine and open, but we
also look for signs that someoneknows what they're doing.
This balance isn't justtheoretical.
It plays out in real life andin the way we perceive
well-known figures, the DalaiLama, for example.
He radiates warmth.
His empathy and gentle presencemake him approachable.
(05:16):
On the other hand, there wasnothing warm about the younger
Steve Jobs.
But Jobs projected intenseconfidence through his focus and
clarity, which made peopletrust his expertise.
But even Jobs learned to weavein moments of warmth, sharing
stories or pausing for a smile,so he wouldn't come across as
distant or cold.
The most effective leaders andcommunicators adjust this
(05:40):
balance depending on theircontext, sometimes dialing up
approachability, other timeshighlighting their skill.
Our brains process warmth andcompetence through different
channels.
And competence throughdifferent channels.
Warranty comes across instantly, triggered by nonverbal cues
like a relaxed smile, openposture or a nod of
acknowledgement.
These signals help others feelsafe and understood.
(06:04):
Competence, meanwhile, isdetected through more analytical
cues steady eye contact, ameasured tone and how clearly
you express your ideas.
Studies show that charismaticspeakers blend both.
They use emotional stories tocreate a connection and back up
their points with credible dataor clear expertise.
And it's not about a perfect50-50 split, but about reading
(06:27):
the room and knowing when tolean more into one or the other.
In professional settings, thisbalance can be tricky.
A leader who only projectscompetence may seem cold or hard
to approach, while someone wholeans too much on warmth risks
being underestimated andmisinterpretations happen
quickly, especially when signalsaren't aligned.
That's why it's important tobecome intentional about how you
(06:50):
present yourself, using activelistening, genuine expressions
and clear communication to sendthe right blend of signals.
The good news is that thisbalance is a skill you can
practice.
It starts with self-awareness,noticing how your body language,
(07:11):
facial expressions and toneinfluence the impressions you
make.
Even small adjustments like theway you angle your shoulders or
the timing of your eye contactcan shift how others perceive
your warmth and confidence.
Before you even say a word,your body language is already
sending messages about who youare.
Understanding what thosesignals are and how they're
shaping your interactions canmake all the difference.
Nonverbal communication shapeshow others perceive you before
(07:34):
you even speak.
So body language, includingposture, gestures and facial
expressions, is a core part ofcharisma, often carrying more
weight than your words.
Charismatic individuals payclose attention to these cues,
using them intentionally toproject confidence and make
others feel at ease.
Yet most people overlook howsmall habits like slouching,
(07:57):
crossing arms or glancing at aphone can undermine their
presence in a room.
So simple adjustments can havea big impact.
Standing tall with uncrossedarms and keeping your hands
visible signals openness andapproachability.
Open gestures, such as showingyour palms or using relaxed hand
movements, help convey honestyand warmth, but, on the other
(08:20):
hand, closed postures, armsfolded, hands hidden or feet
pointed away can make you seemguarded or disengaged,
regardless of your actualintentions.
These physical cues set thetone for the entire interaction
and influence whether others seeyou as trustworthy and
confident.
One subtle but effectivetechnique is the strategic head
(08:42):
tilt.
Strategic head tilt.
According to Olivia FoxCabane's research on presence,
tilting your head slightly whenlistening signals genuine
engagement and helps the otherperson feel understood.
Combined with purposeful nods,this small gesture can encourage
deeper connection and make yourconversation partner more
receptive to what you're saying.
(09:03):
Charismatic communicators oftenuse these cues naturally, but
they're skills anyone candevelop with practice.
Taking up space is another keyelement.
Adopting a wider stance orusing the armrest when seated
can project authority andconfidence.
This not only affects howothers perceive you, but can
(09:23):
also boost your own sense ofpresence in the moment.
How others perceive you, butcan also boost your own sense of
presence in the moment.
Open body language, relaxedshoulders, arms away from the
torso, steady eye contact buildsboth warmth and competence.
The two pillars of charisma andgestures also matter.
(09:45):
Open hands and palms facingupward create an impression of
transparency.
Avoid fidgeting or unnecessary.
Movement helps you appear morefocused and composed.
Mirroring or subtly reflectingthe posture and tone of the
person you're speaking with canenhance rapport, but it should
be natural rather than forced.
Mastering these nonverbal cuesdoesn't require dramatic
transformation.
Instead, it's about makingsmall, intentional shifts that
(10:07):
help you express your best selfmore clearly and when your body
language aligns with yourmessage, you make a stronger,
more memorable impression,setting the stage for every
conversation that follows.
Developing charisma is not aboutchanging who you are, but about
refining how you communicateyour strengths through specific,
learnable behaviors.
As Jensen describes, charismais a set of stylistic
(10:32):
expressions anyone can master.
Even small adjustments, likemodifying your posture or
practicing a strategic head tiltcan boost your persuasiveness.
As shown in studies on socialinfluence, the most charismatic
individuals make others feelgenuinely understood by actively
listening and giving focusedattention.
These are all skills you canbuild with practice For your
next interaction.
(10:53):
Challenge yourself to balancewarmth and confidence.
Show openness while clearlyexpressing your ideas and
observe how people respond.
Remember we're looking forprogress, not perfection.
That's all for today.
Remember we're looking forprogress, not perfection.
That's all for today.
Be sure to visitspeakwithconfidencepodcastcom to
get your free e-book the Top 21Challenges for Public Speakers
(11:13):
and how to Overcome them.
You can also register for theFormula for Public Speaking
course.
Always remember your voice isthe power to change the world.
We'll talk to you next time,take care.
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, a podcast that
helps you build the soft skillsthat lead to real results
Communication, storytelling,public speaking and showing up
with confidence in everyconversation that counts.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide you on your
journey to becoming a powerfulcommunicator.
Make sure you hit the subscribebutton so you never miss an
(00:29):
episode.
A couple of episodes ago, Imentioned that I told my
students they needed to stopusing filler words, but I never
told them how to do it.
It hit me that I talk about thepower and importance of
connecting.
In almost every episode, I talkabout listening, being present
(00:50):
and being authentic.
Those things are criticallyimportant in terms of being a
confident and powerfulcommunicator.
But have you ever left a meetingor networking event feeling
invisible, even though you hadgood ideas to share?
Have you ever noticed how somepeople seem to draw attention
and make others feel valued fromthe moment they walk in the
room?
Now, some people seem to drawattention and make others feel
valued from the moment they walkin the room.
That effect isn't random.
It's built on a set of specificbehaviors that create a genuine
(01:14):
emotional connection.
That's charisma, and it is whatwe're going to talk about today
.
Neuroscience research confirmsthat charisma isn't something
you're born with.
Experts have shown it's a skillanyone can learn by adjusting
how they use body language,voice and attention.
If you're ready to become morememorable and influential in
your professional interactions,you're in the right place.
But if charisma is learnable,why does it still feel out of
(01:38):
reach for so many people?
The idea that charisma issomething you're simply born
with is one of the mostpersistent myths in professional
life.
For decades, many people haveassumed that effortless charm is
kind of an innate magicreserved for the lucky few.
But research tells a differentstory.
Charisma is not an accident ofbirth.
(01:59):
It's a skill built throughspecific, repeatable behaviors
and deliberate practice.
It's a skill built throughspecific, repeatable behaviors
and deliberate practice.
Ulrich Jensen, a professor atArizona State University,
describes charisma as a set ofstylistic expressions that
anyone can build into theircommunication.
This means that what we see asnatural charisma is usually the
(02:24):
result of focused effort.
Take Steve Jobs, for example.
Early in his career, hispresentations were far from
captivating.
Over time, through repeatedpractice and refinement, he
developed the presence, powerand projection that made him a
legendary communicator.
There's also evidence from a2023 study of 350 governor
speeches, the most trustedleaders consistently used
(02:46):
deliberate tactics likepurposeful pauses and targeted
gestures to earn credibility andconnection.
The real obstacle, though, ismindset.
When people believe charisma isfixed, they're much less likely
to work on it, but a study fromHarvard's Kennedy School found
that participants who believedcharisma could be learned
improved their persuasiveness by60% compared to those who
(03:08):
thought it was innate, andthat's a memorable difference,
driven by the simple belief thatgrowth is possible.
Charisma is not a single trait,but a blend of learnable skills.
Olivia Fox Cobain, author ofthe Charisma Myth, breaks it
down into three core elementsPresence, power and warmth.
(03:28):
These aren't mysteriousqualities.
They're expressed throughconcrete, nonverbal behaviors
like eye contact, vocal tone andattentive listening all things
we've talked about.
Even the most naturallycharismatic people often spend
years honing these skills,whether they're actors training
for stage presence or CEOsrehearsing every line and
(03:51):
gesture before a bigpresentation.
Where CEOs rehearsing everyline and gesture before a big
presentation.
Once you start viewing charismaas something you do rather than
something you are, your approachchanges.
You begin to treat everyconversation as practice,
focusing on what you can controland improve, and, with the
(04:12):
right mindset, you stop waitingfor confidence to appear and
start building it through youractions.
At the heart of charismaticcommunication lies a specific
balance making people feelvalued while also demonstrating
your expertise.
This combination is whatconsistently sets memorable
professionals apart, and itforms the foundation for
(04:33):
everything that follows.
Every truly charismaticinteraction hinges on something
psychologists call the warmthcompetence balance and,
according to psychology today,charisma is the intersection of
two core qualities Warmth,meaning empathy and
approachability, and competence,which covers confidence and
expertise.
In the first few moments of anymeeting, people instinctively
(04:55):
scan for both.
We're wired to trust those whoseem genuine and open, but we
also look for signs that someoneknows what they're doing.
This balance isn't justtheoretical.
It plays out in real life andin the way we perceive
well-known figures, the DalaiLama, for example.
He radiates warmth.
His empathy and gentle presencemake him approachable.
(05:16):
On the other hand, there wasnothing warm about the younger
Steve Jobs.
But Jobs projected intenseconfidence through his focus and
clarity, which made peopletrust his expertise.
But even Jobs learned to weavein moments of warmth, sharing
stories or pausing for a smile,so he wouldn't come across as
distant or cold.
The most effective leaders andcommunicators adjust this
(05:40):
balance depending on theircontext, sometimes dialing up
approachability, other timeshighlighting their skill.
Our brains process warmth andcompetence through different
channels.
And competence throughdifferent channels.
Warranty comes across instantly, triggered by nonverbal cues
like a relaxed smile, openposture or a nod of
acknowledgement.
These signals help others feelsafe and understood.
(06:04):
Competence, meanwhile, isdetected through more analytical
cues steady eye contact, ameasured tone and how clearly
you express your ideas.
Studies show that charismaticspeakers blend both.
They use emotional stories tocreate a connection and back up
their points with credible dataor clear expertise.
And it's not about a perfect50-50 split, but about reading
(06:27):
the room and knowing when tolean more into one or the other.
In professional settings, thisbalance can be tricky.
A leader who only projectscompetence may seem cold or hard
to approach, while someone wholeans too much on warmth risks
being underestimated andmisinterpretations happen
quickly, especially when signalsaren't aligned.
That's why it's important tobecome intentional about how you
(06:50):
present yourself, using activelistening, genuine expressions
and clear communication to sendthe right blend of signals.
The good news is that thisbalance is a skill you can
practice.
It starts with self-awareness,noticing how your body language,
(07:11):
facial expressions and toneinfluence the impressions you
make.
Even small adjustments like theway you angle your shoulders or
the timing of your eye contactcan shift how others perceive
your warmth and confidence.
Before you even say a word,your body language is already
sending messages about who youare.
Understanding what thosesignals are and how they're
shaping your interactions canmake all the difference.
Nonverbal communication shapeshow others perceive you before
(07:34):
you even speak.
So body language, includingposture, gestures and facial
expressions, is a core part ofcharisma, often carrying more
weight than your words.
Charismatic individuals payclose attention to these cues,
using them intentionally toproject confidence and make
others feel at ease.
Yet most people overlook howsmall habits like slouching,
(07:57):
crossing arms or glancing at aphone can undermine their
presence in a room.
So simple adjustments can havea big impact.
Standing tall with uncrossedarms and keeping your hands
visible signals openness andapproachability.
Open gestures, such as showingyour palms or using relaxed hand
movements, help convey honestyand warmth, but, on the other
(08:20):
hand, closed postures, armsfolded, hands hidden or feet
pointed away can make you seemguarded or disengaged,
regardless of your actualintentions.
These physical cues set thetone for the entire interaction
and influence whether others seeyou as trustworthy and
confident.
One subtle but effectivetechnique is the strategic head
(08:42):
tilt.
Strategic head tilt.
According to Olivia FoxCabane's research on presence,
tilting your head slightly whenlistening signals genuine
engagement and helps the otherperson feel understood.
Combined with purposeful nods,this small gesture can encourage
deeper connection and make yourconversation partner more
receptive to what you're saying.
(09:03):
Charismatic communicators oftenuse these cues naturally, but
they're skills anyone candevelop with practice.
Taking up space is another keyelement.
Adopting a wider stance orusing the armrest when seated
can project authority andconfidence.
This not only affects howothers perceive you, but can
(09:23):
also boost your own sense ofpresence in the moment.
How others perceive you, butcan also boost your own sense of
presence in the moment.
Open body language, relaxedshoulders, arms away from the
torso, steady eye contact buildsboth warmth and competence.
The two pillars of charisma andgestures also matter.
(09:45):
Open hands and palms facingupward create an impression of
transparency.
Avoid fidgeting or unnecessary.
Movement helps you appear morefocused and composed.
Mirroring or subtly reflectingthe posture and tone of the
person you're speaking with canenhance rapport, but it should
be natural rather than forced.
Mastering these nonverbal cuesdoesn't require dramatic
transformation.
Instead, it's about makingsmall, intentional shifts that
(10:07):
help you express your best selfmore clearly and when your body
language aligns with yourmessage, you make a stronger,
more memorable impression,setting the stage for every
conversation that follows.
Developing charisma is not aboutchanging who you are, but about
refining how you communicateyour strengths through specific,
learnable behaviors.
As Jensen describes, charismais a set of stylistic
(10:32):
expressions anyone can master.
Even small adjustments, likemodifying your posture or
practicing a strategic head tiltcan boost your persuasiveness.
As shown in studies on socialinfluence, the most charismatic
individuals make others feelgenuinely understood by actively
listening and giving focusedattention.
These are all skills you canbuild with practice For your
next interaction.
(10:53):
Challenge yourself to balancewarmth and confidence.
Show openness while clearlyexpressing your ideas and
observe how people respond.
Remember we're looking forprogress, not perfection.
That's all for today.
Remember we're looking forprogress, not perfection.
That's all for today.
Be sure to visitspeakwithconfidencepodcastcom to
get your free e-book the Top 21Challenges for Public Speakers
(11:13):
and how to Overcome them.
You can also register for theFormula for Public Speaking
course.
Always remember your voice isthe power to change the world.
We'll talk to you next time,take care.
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