May 1, 2025 • 20 mins
Are your conversations interrupted by the constant buzz of notifications? In today’s world, digital overwhelm has reshaped not only how we interact, but our very brains—fragmenting focus, empathy, and genuine connection. This week on Speaking With Confidence, Tim Newman dives deep into the real cost of screen-driven distractions and offers practical strategies to reclaim your ability to be a powerful communicator in every interaction that matters.
If you want to sharpen your active listening skills, cultivate effective communication skills, and develop true leadership communication, this episode is for you. Tim explores the latest research on digital habits, attention spans, and what it takes to rebuild the human connection that turns everyday conversation into a force for influence.
In This Episode:
- Why “multitasking” is damaging your storytelling techniques (and what works better)
- The neuroscience behind digital distractions—and how it chips away at public speaking confidence, empathy, and memory
- How to overcome speaking anxiety and imposter syndrome when it feels like everyone’s always “on”
- What the “goldfish effect” means for real-world communication skills and how to break the cycle
- Practical steps to increase confidence in public speaking by practicing better presence and attention in your daily life
- How tech boundaries spark more meaningful, memorable conversations—at work, at home, and everywhere in between
- Small, science-backed habits for lasting presentation skills development (you don’t need to quit tech cold turkey!)
Key Takeaways:
- Being a powerful communicator isn’t just about public speaking—it’s about showing up, listening, and connecting in every conversation.
- Simple shifts, like device-free meals and analog breaks, help you gain back focus and emotional depth.
- Leadership communication hinges not on quantity, but quality: better communication is the secret to better relationships.
- Progress, not perfection. Even imperfect changes lead to measurable improvements in your attention span, memory, and the confidence you bring to every interaction.
Visit TimNewmanSpeaks.com to grab your free resource, The Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and How to Overcome Them, and start building the confidence you deserve.
Want to be a guest on Speaking With Confidence? Send Tim Newman a message on PodMatch
Speaking With Confidence
Formula for Public Speaking
Facebook
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tim (00:08):
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, a podcast that
helps you build the skills thatlead to real results
Communication, storytelling,public speaking and showing up
with confidence in everyconversation that counts.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide you on a
journey to becoming a powerfulcommunicator.
(00:29):
Make sure you hit the subscribebutton so you never miss an
episode.
Today, I'm going to take theconversation about digital
overwhelm with Craig Madsen alittle bit deeper and give you
some more practical tips tobuild better connections and
have more meaningfulconversations.
If you missed the episode withCraig Madon, make sure you check
it out.
Let's go ahead and get started.
Hey you, Alice.
(00:49):
Yeah you and Ben, you'rescrolling while you're
pretending to listen tosomething else right now.
We've all been there, but didyou know that this habit might
actually be reshaping your brain?
Think about how often you checkyour phone during a
conversation while you watch TV.
Studies show excessive screentime causes the thinning of the
cerebral cortex that's the partof your brain that's responsible
(01:13):
for empathy and emotionalprocessing.
In America, people spend 44% oftheir waking hours looking at
screens, but it could be worse.
In South Africa, it's 70%.
This isn't just about timemanagement.
It's about altering how weconnect, stick around to
discover ways to undo the damagethat we're causing.
Did you know a goldfish canfocus longer than the average
(01:34):
human?
That's right, a goldfish.
Research shows that ourattention span is now just 8.25
seconds, compared to agoldfish's 9 seconds.
Think about that.
Since 2000, our ability toconcentrate has dropped by about
25%, while screen time hassteadily increased.
(01:54):
Adults now spend over sevenhours daily looking at screens.
And this just isn't aboutwasted time.
It's physically altering ourbrains.
Heavy screen use leads tocortical thinning in areas of
the brain responsible forempathy, emotional regulation
and decision making, and thishelps explain why staying
focused during conversationsfeels harder than ever.
(02:16):
Constantly switching betweenapps, messages and videos trains
our brains to crave new stimuli, fragmenting attention and
weakening deeper cognitiveabilities.
What we call multitasking isreally just rapid attention
switching, and it comes at acost.
Each time you check anotification mid-conversation,
(02:39):
your brain needs nearly 25minutes to fully refocus.
This is why meetings withdevices present result in poor
information retention comparedto those without.
The so-called goldfish effect ismost obvious in social settings
Interrupted eye contact,forgotten details and shallow
conversations that never godeeper because no one sustains
(03:01):
attention long enough.
The solution isn't simplytrying harder to focus.
Our brains have adapted to thishigh-stimulus environment, and
rebuilding the attention takestime.
Studies show measurableimprovements in focus and
emotional processing after justone month of reduced screen use.
And here's the thing.
(03:21):
It starts with awarenessCatching yourself when you
instinctively reach for yourphone out of boredom or
discomfort.
Teens who cut recreationalscreen time to under three hours
a day improve their attentionspans within six weeks.
Adults see similar benefits bysetting simple boundaries like
keeping phones out of bedroomsor disabling non-essential
(03:42):
notifications.
These small changes help thebrain recover its capacity for
sustained focus.
This attention crisis goesbeyond productivity.
Fragmented focus damagesrelationships by making others
feel undervalued.
Think about this Checking yourphone during a conversation
(04:04):
signals social rejection, whichthe brain processes similarly to
physical pain.
Over time, thesemicro-rejections erode trust and
connection, often without useven realizing it.
Three-quarters of young adultsnow choose texting over phone
calls, believing it's moreefficient.
However, mit research revealstext-based communication filters
(04:28):
out 80% of the emotional cuespresent in face-to-face
conversations, transformingdialogue into information
exchange rather than ameaningful connection.
Couples resolving arguments viatext take three times longer to
reach an understanding comparedto in-person discussions.
The medium itself alters how weprocess emotions, not just the
(04:50):
absence of body language.
Think about this the averageperson responds to a text within
90 seconds Faster than thebrain completes emotional
processing.
This creates a mismatch thesender feels the full emotional
weight of their words, while therecipient receives
stripped-down text, guessing attone and intent.
(05:12):
A 2023 University of Californiastudy found people misinterpret
text 65% more often than spokenconversations.
Than spoken conversations,simple phrases like fine or
whatever often spark confusionor conflict without vocal
inflection to clarify meaning.
(05:33):
Imagine texting.
We need to talk to a friend,only to have them panic over a
non-issue because they misreadyour tone.
Digital conflict escalatesquickly for the same reason.
Without nonverbal cues like aconciliatory smile or a
softening eye contact, minordisagreements can balloon into
(05:55):
major arguments.
Couples who primarilycommunicate via text report more
frequent misunderstandings andlower relationship satisfaction.
And lower relationshipsatisfaction.
The problem extends to workteams, where relying on Slack or
email for complex discussionsleads to 40% more
miscommunication incidents thanregular video calls.
Texting also limits emotionalexpression.
(06:16):
Rapid-fire exchanges averagefewer than six words per message
, leave little room forvulnerability or nuance.
Psychologists note thatself-disclosure decreases by 30%
in text-based communicationcompared to voice interactions.
How often do you use emojis?
While they are helpful forbasic tone, they lack
(06:40):
specificity.
A smiling emoji might signalhappiness, sarcasm or
nervousness, depending oncontext.
Stanford researchers found thatadding emojis to ambiguous
messages increasesmisinterpretation by almost 22%.
Switching to voice messagesimproves emotional accuracy by
(07:02):
55%, as a human voice conveysmeaning through pace, pitch and
pauses.
Video calls restore about 70%of nonverbal cues, making them
ideal for sensitive discussions.
The most effectivecommunicators match the medium
to the message, reserving textfor logistics and using richer
(07:23):
formats for emotional or complextopics.
The content you scroll throughdaily alters your emotional
capacity.
Social platforms optimize forengagement, prioritizing content
that triggers immediatereactions over nuanced emotional
exchanges.
Think about it these platformswant to keep you engaged.
(07:45):
Think about it these platformswant to keep you engaged.
This constant exposure trainsyour brain to expect emotional
stimulation and quick burstsrather than gradual, sustained
connection showed 29% lessactivation in the amygdala, the
(08:06):
brain's emotional processingcenter, when witnessing
real-world distress, compared tolight users.
This reduced activationdiminishes the ability to
empathize with others' emotions,contributing to the 42% of
frequent users who reportfeeling emotionally detached
from offline relationships.
The platform economy monetizesattention by hijacking natural
(08:29):
emotional rhythms.
Each notification delivers amicrodose of dopamine, the
neurotransmitter associated withreward.
Seeding, for example, anotification.
Interrupting a heartfeltconversation can shift focus
from emotional connection to theinstant gratification of
checking a like or comment.
Real human bonding, however,relies on oxytocin, which builds
(08:56):
gradually through sharedexperiences and physical
presence.
Dopamine-driven interactionscondition brains to prefer the
quick hit of a notification overthe slow reward of a
face-to-face connection.
One study tracking collegeroommates found that those who
communicated primarily throughapps showed 50% lower oxytocin
(09:19):
levels during shared activitiescompared to those who limited
digital communication.
This shift has tangible socialconsequences.
Who limited digitalcommunication?
This shift has tangible socialconsequences.
Stanford researchers discoverthat people retain 70% less
information about friends' liveswhen following them primarily
through social media versushaving direct conversations.
Emotional outsourcing compoundsthis issue.
(09:41):
Many now rely on AI tools tohandle interpersonal
communication, such as draftingdifficult personal messages.
While convenient, this practiceerases the mental work involved
in genuine emotional expression.
The emotional numbing effectfollows predictive patterns.
Functional MRI scans revealthat after two weeks of heavy
(10:04):
social media use, subjects showreduced activity in emotion
processing regions and areasresponsible for moral reasoning
and self-reflection.
Reaction buttons furtherdistort emotional development,
training users to qualifyfeelings into simplistic
responses.
A University of Pennsylvaniastudy found that participants
describing in-person experiencesused three times more emotional
(10:27):
nuance than those documentingonline interactions.
But here's the thing thesolution isn't abstinence, but a
rebalancing.
Scheduling regular analog hourshelps rebuild emotional stamina
, with measurable growth inbrain regions governing
emotional regulation.
How about this?
(10:49):
Just the mere physical presenceof a smartphone changes
conversations, even when noone's touching it.
Imagine a family dinner where aphone sits on the table
untouched but visible.
Conversations feel stilted,moments of connection are
fleeting and everyone seemsslightly distracted.
And research backs this up.
(11:10):
A Virginia Tech study foundthat simply having a phone
visible reduces conversationquality by 40%.
Participants reported feelingless connected, remembered fewer
details and described theinteractions as less satisfying
compared to phone-freeconversations.
And here's the thing.
This effect occurs whether thephone belongs to you or someone
(11:31):
else, and psychologistsattribute this to continuous
partial attention.
Our brains stay semi-engaged,with the possibility of
notifications, splitting focusbetween the conversation and the
potential digital interruptions.
This mental juggling drainscognitive resources that would
otherwise enhance listening andresponding, and the social
(11:52):
impacts are striking.
A University of Essex studyrevealed that participants felt
less valued when theconversation partners glanced at
their phones even for less thanthree seconds.
These brief glances register assubtle social rejection,
triggering a sensitivity thatevolved to detect threats but
now misfires in the digital ageWorkplaces reflect similar
(12:15):
patterns.
A survey found 58% of employeesmultitasked during virtual
meetings, often checking emailsor messaging apps.
Follow-up tests showed theseworkers retained 38% less
information than their fullyattentive colleagues.
Yet many overestimated theircomprehension, highlighting the
(12:35):
illusion of multitaskingconfidence.
How many of you all fit in thatcategory?
This normalization of dividedattention has broader
consequences.
Eye contact, a key marker ofengagement, has decreased by 60%
since 2010 among frequentscreen users.
What once seemed rude now feelsroutine.
(12:57):
But brain scans reveal a deepercost Weaker connections between
regions responsible for focusand emotional regulation.
Over time, heavy device useleads to habitual attention
fragmentation, a state ofsemi-distraction that persists
even without devices.
Recovery takes longer, makingsustained focus harder to
(13:21):
achieve.
But again, solutions exist.
Research from Microsoft's HumanFactors Lab shows that creating
tech-free zones like diningtables helps build attention
capacity.
Even three device-free mealsper week yield cognitive
benefits similar to full detoxes.
(13:43):
Physical separation, likeleaving phones in another room,
proves especially effective,reducing subconscious cognitive
load and allowing richer, moremeaningful interactions.
Again, you don't need toabandon technology to repair
your attention span, justimplement targeted boundaries.
One effective method is the90-20 rule.
(14:04):
This was developed by Stanfordresearchers after studying
cognitive performance patterns.
The idea is simple Work inuninterrupted 90-minute blocks
followed by 20-minute breaksspent completely offline.
For example, imagine startingyour morning with a focused work
session, then stepping outsidefor a short walk or enjoying a
(14:26):
cup of coffee by the window.
These analog breaks allow yourbrain to reset more effectively
than switching between digitaltabs, aligning with natural
attention cycles and preventingthe cognitive drain of constant
task switching.
Cold turkey approaches oftenfail because smartphones fulfill
genuine human needs, albeitinefficiently.
Instead of eliminating screensentirely, consider replacing 30
(14:50):
minutes of nightly scrollingwith a phone call to a friend or
family member.
A University of Pennsylvaniastudy found this simple change
reduced loneliness scores by 38%within three weeks.
Reduced loneliness scores by38% within three weeks.
In contrast, those who triedeliminating evening screens
entirely often relapsed, provingmoderation is more sustainable
than elimination.
For lasting change, smalltechnical adjustments can yield
(15:14):
significant benefits.
For instance, installing bluelight filters on devices
improves sleep quality, whichenhances next-day focus and
social presence.
Participants using night modesettings reported feeling more
engaged in morning conversationscompared to those exposed to
unfiltered screens before bed.
These minor tweaks requireminimal effort but deliver
(15:40):
measurable neurological benefits, which is why phone
manufacturers now include thosefeatures automatically.
Another powerful habit isavoiding screens for the first
90 minutes after waking.
Neuroscience research showsthis prevents cognitive
fragmentation for up to 6 hours,allowing the prefrontal cortex
to activate fully.
For example, delaying phone useuntil after breakfast can
(16:04):
improve mid-afternoonconcentration by 31% compared to
starting the day with emails orsocial media.
Together, these strategies forma sustainable system that
enhances focus without treatingtechnology as the enemy.
The 90-20 rule combats theattention fragmentation.
Scheduled scrolling satisfiesnovelty cravings and morning
(16:26):
tech fasting protects peak focuswindows.
Over time, these changes leadto richer offline interactions
and a genuine preference forless fragmented experiences,
making the benefitsself-reinforcing.
The first few days of reducedscreen time often feel
(16:48):
uncomfortable, but by day fivethings begin to shift.
Clinical data shows that withintwo weeks of implementing focus
blocks, people report deeper,more meaningful conversations.
Face-to-face interactionincreases data wave activity in
the brain, which facilitatesemotional connection and memory
formation.
In fact, participants in theseinteractions remembered 55% more
(17:12):
details about conversationscompared to those distracted by
devices.
Memory systems reawakenalongside attention.
Neuroimaging reveals thatundistracted social interactions
activate both hippocampus andsensory processing areas,
creating richer memory traces.
One participant shared how shevividly remembered not just her
(17:33):
friend's words during a breakup,but the way the afternoon light
called her tears and how hervoice cracked.
These multi-sensory memoriesleave stronger emotional
imprints than the fragmentedrecall typical of phone
interrupted talks.
As attention stabilizes, peoplenaturally gravitate toward more
substantive interactions.
Early on trial, participantsoften described awkward silences
(17:57):
during focus practice.
By week three, these samepauses were seen as space to
think or comfortable quiet, andbrain scans confirmed this shift
to showing increased prefrontalcortex activity during pauses,
indicating deeper cognitiveprocessing rather than anxiety.
(18:19):
Over time, what starts as aconscious effort becomes an
automatic preference.
An MRI study showed that after30 days of reduced screen time,
the brain's reward centerresponds more strongly to real
social cues than to social medianotifications.
One participant noted I stoppedwanting to check my phone
because whatever was happeningin the room got more interesting
(18:42):
.
Small physical changes reflectthis transformation Eye contact
duration nearly doubles afterfour weeks and pupillary
synchrony and unconsciousmirroring of pupils dilation
linked to empathy improvedsignificantly.
One participant described howholding eye contact during a
difficult conversation withtheir partner helped them
(19:03):
connect in a way they hadn't inyears, and the benefits extend
beyond personal relationships.
Teachers in phone-freeclassrooms reported students
asking more follow-up questionsand making unexpected conceptual
connections.
Critically, these gains don'trequire perfection.
Even participants whooccasionally lapse into old
habits showed similarimprovements, proving that
(19:25):
consistent effort, not flawlessexecution, drives change.
Early discomfort signals growthand within months, quality
engagement becomes second nature.
Keep in mind human connectionhasn't disappeared.
We've just traded it fordigital distractions.
That buzz during dinner.
Challenge yourself to silenceit.
(19:48):
Research shows each interruptionforces your brain to reset,
draining focus and presence.
But change is easier than youthink.
Start with one device-free meala day.
Within two weeks, 68% of peoplereport deeper conversations.
Face-to-face interactions boostdataways by 40%, helping your
(20:08):
brain rebuild and your attentionspan grow.
Relationships don't thrive onmore communication, but better
communication.
The solution has always beenwithin reach Put the phone down,
look up and reconnect where itmatters most.
Remember we're not looking forperfection.
We just want to make progress.
Be sure to visitspeakwithconfidencepodcastcom to
(20:31):
get your free ebook the Top 21Challenges for Public Speakers
and how to Overcome them.
You can also register for theForming for Public Speaking
course.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change the world.
We'll talk to you next time,take care.
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, a podcast that
helps you build the skills thatlead to real results
Communication, storytelling,public speaking and showing up
with confidence in everyconversation that counts.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide you on a
journey to becoming a powerfulcommunicator.
(00:29):
Make sure you hit the subscribebutton so you never miss an
episode.
Today, I'm going to take theconversation about digital
overwhelm with Craig Madsen alittle bit deeper and give you
some more practical tips tobuild better connections and
have more meaningfulconversations.
If you missed the episode withCraig Madon, make sure you check
it out.
Let's go ahead and get started.
Hey you, Alice.
(00:49):
Yeah you and Ben, you'rescrolling while you're
pretending to listen tosomething else right now.
We've all been there, but didyou know that this habit might
actually be reshaping your brain?
Think about how often you checkyour phone during a
conversation while you watch TV.
Studies show excessive screentime causes the thinning of the
cerebral cortex that's the partof your brain that's responsible
(01:13):
for empathy and emotionalprocessing.
In America, people spend 44% oftheir waking hours looking at
screens, but it could be worse.
In South Africa, it's 70%.
This isn't just about timemanagement.
It's about altering how weconnect, stick around to
discover ways to undo the damagethat we're causing.
Did you know a goldfish canfocus longer than the average
(01:34):
human?
That's right, a goldfish.
Research shows that ourattention span is now just 8.25
seconds, compared to agoldfish's 9 seconds.
Think about that.
Since 2000, our ability toconcentrate has dropped by about
25%, while screen time hassteadily increased.
(01:54):
Adults now spend over sevenhours daily looking at screens.
And this just isn't aboutwasted time.
It's physically altering ourbrains.
Heavy screen use leads tocortical thinning in areas of
the brain responsible forempathy, emotional regulation
and decision making, and thishelps explain why staying
focused during conversationsfeels harder than ever.
(02:16):
Constantly switching betweenapps, messages and videos trains
our brains to crave new stimuli, fragmenting attention and
weakening deeper cognitiveabilities.
What we call multitasking isreally just rapid attention
switching, and it comes at acost.
Each time you check anotification mid-conversation,
(02:39):
your brain needs nearly 25minutes to fully refocus.
This is why meetings withdevices present result in poor
information retention comparedto those without.
The so-called goldfish effect ismost obvious in social settings
Interrupted eye contact,forgotten details and shallow
conversations that never godeeper because no one sustains
(03:01):
attention long enough.
The solution isn't simplytrying harder to focus.
Our brains have adapted to thishigh-stimulus environment, and
rebuilding the attention takestime.
Studies show measurableimprovements in focus and
emotional processing after justone month of reduced screen use.
And here's the thing.
(03:21):
It starts with awarenessCatching yourself when you
instinctively reach for yourphone out of boredom or
discomfort.
Teens who cut recreationalscreen time to under three hours
a day improve their attentionspans within six weeks.
Adults see similar benefits bysetting simple boundaries like
keeping phones out of bedroomsor disabling non-essential
(03:42):
notifications.
These small changes help thebrain recover its capacity for
sustained focus.
This attention crisis goesbeyond productivity.
Fragmented focus damagesrelationships by making others
feel undervalued.
Think about this Checking yourphone during a conversation
(04:04):
signals social rejection, whichthe brain processes similarly to
physical pain.
Over time, thesemicro-rejections erode trust and
connection, often without useven realizing it.
Three-quarters of young adultsnow choose texting over phone
calls, believing it's moreefficient.
However, mit research revealstext-based communication filters
(04:28):
out 80% of the emotional cuespresent in face-to-face
conversations, transformingdialogue into information
exchange rather than ameaningful connection.
Couples resolving arguments viatext take three times longer to
reach an understanding comparedto in-person discussions.
The medium itself alters how weprocess emotions, not just the
(04:50):
absence of body language.
Think about this the averageperson responds to a text within
90 seconds Faster than thebrain completes emotional
processing.
This creates a mismatch thesender feels the full emotional
weight of their words, while therecipient receives
stripped-down text, guessing attone and intent.
(05:12):
A 2023 University of Californiastudy found people misinterpret
text 65% more often than spokenconversations.
Than spoken conversations,simple phrases like fine or
whatever often spark confusionor conflict without vocal
inflection to clarify meaning.
(05:33):
Imagine texting.
We need to talk to a friend,only to have them panic over a
non-issue because they misreadyour tone.
Digital conflict escalatesquickly for the same reason.
Without nonverbal cues like aconciliatory smile or a
softening eye contact, minordisagreements can balloon into
(05:55):
major arguments.
Couples who primarilycommunicate via text report more
frequent misunderstandings andlower relationship satisfaction.
And lower relationshipsatisfaction.
The problem extends to workteams, where relying on Slack or
email for complex discussionsleads to 40% more
miscommunication incidents thanregular video calls.
Texting also limits emotionalexpression.
(06:16):
Rapid-fire exchanges averagefewer than six words per message
, leave little room forvulnerability or nuance.
Psychologists note thatself-disclosure decreases by 30%
in text-based communicationcompared to voice interactions.
How often do you use emojis?
While they are helpful forbasic tone, they lack
(06:40):
specificity.
A smiling emoji might signalhappiness, sarcasm or
nervousness, depending oncontext.
Stanford researchers found thatadding emojis to ambiguous
messages increasesmisinterpretation by almost 22%.
Switching to voice messagesimproves emotional accuracy by
(07:02):
55%, as a human voice conveysmeaning through pace, pitch and
pauses.
Video calls restore about 70%of nonverbal cues, making them
ideal for sensitive discussions.
The most effectivecommunicators match the medium
to the message, reserving textfor logistics and using richer
(07:23):
formats for emotional or complextopics.
The content you scroll throughdaily alters your emotional
capacity.
Social platforms optimize forengagement, prioritizing content
that triggers immediatereactions over nuanced emotional
exchanges.
Think about it these platformswant to keep you engaged.
(07:45):
Think about it these platformswant to keep you engaged.
This constant exposure trainsyour brain to expect emotional
stimulation and quick burstsrather than gradual, sustained
connection showed 29% lessactivation in the amygdala, the
(08:06):
brain's emotional processingcenter, when witnessing
real-world distress, compared tolight users.
This reduced activationdiminishes the ability to
empathize with others' emotions,contributing to the 42% of
frequent users who reportfeeling emotionally detached
from offline relationships.
The platform economy monetizesattention by hijacking natural
(08:29):
emotional rhythms.
Each notification delivers amicrodose of dopamine, the
neurotransmitter associated withreward.
Seeding, for example, anotification.
Interrupting a heartfeltconversation can shift focus
from emotional connection to theinstant gratification of
checking a like or comment.
Real human bonding, however,relies on oxytocin, which builds
(08:56):
gradually through sharedexperiences and physical
presence.
Dopamine-driven interactionscondition brains to prefer the
quick hit of a notification overthe slow reward of a
face-to-face connection.
One study tracking collegeroommates found that those who
communicated primarily throughapps showed 50% lower oxytocin
(09:19):
levels during shared activitiescompared to those who limited
digital communication.
This shift has tangible socialconsequences.
Who limited digitalcommunication?
This shift has tangible socialconsequences.
Stanford researchers discoverthat people retain 70% less
information about friends' liveswhen following them primarily
through social media versushaving direct conversations.
Emotional outsourcing compoundsthis issue.
(09:41):
Many now rely on AI tools tohandle interpersonal
communication, such as draftingdifficult personal messages.
While convenient, this practiceerases the mental work involved
in genuine emotional expression.
The emotional numbing effectfollows predictive patterns.
Functional MRI scans revealthat after two weeks of heavy
(10:04):
social media use, subjects showreduced activity in emotion
processing regions and areasresponsible for moral reasoning
and self-reflection.
Reaction buttons furtherdistort emotional development,
training users to qualifyfeelings into simplistic
responses.
A University of Pennsylvaniastudy found that participants
describing in-person experiencesused three times more emotional
(10:27):
nuance than those documentingonline interactions.
But here's the thing thesolution isn't abstinence, but a
rebalancing.
Scheduling regular analog hourshelps rebuild emotional stamina
, with measurable growth inbrain regions governing
emotional regulation.
How about this?
(10:49):
Just the mere physical presenceof a smartphone changes
conversations, even when noone's touching it.
Imagine a family dinner where aphone sits on the table
untouched but visible.
Conversations feel stilted,moments of connection are
fleeting and everyone seemsslightly distracted.
And research backs this up.
(11:10):
A Virginia Tech study foundthat simply having a phone
visible reduces conversationquality by 40%.
Participants reported feelingless connected, remembered fewer
details and described theinteractions as less satisfying
compared to phone-freeconversations.
And here's the thing.
This effect occurs whether thephone belongs to you or someone
(11:31):
else, and psychologistsattribute this to continuous
partial attention.
Our brains stay semi-engaged,with the possibility of
notifications, splitting focusbetween the conversation and the
potential digital interruptions.
This mental juggling drainscognitive resources that would
otherwise enhance listening andresponding, and the social
(11:52):
impacts are striking.
A University of Essex studyrevealed that participants felt
less valued when theconversation partners glanced at
their phones even for less thanthree seconds.
These brief glances register assubtle social rejection,
triggering a sensitivity thatevolved to detect threats but
now misfires in the digital ageWorkplaces reflect similar
(12:15):
patterns.
A survey found 58% of employeesmultitasked during virtual
meetings, often checking emailsor messaging apps.
Follow-up tests showed theseworkers retained 38% less
information than their fullyattentive colleagues.
Yet many overestimated theircomprehension, highlighting the
(12:35):
illusion of multitaskingconfidence.
How many of you all fit in thatcategory?
This normalization of dividedattention has broader
consequences.
Eye contact, a key marker ofengagement, has decreased by 60%
since 2010 among frequentscreen users.
What once seemed rude now feelsroutine.
(12:57):
But brain scans reveal a deepercost Weaker connections between
regions responsible for focusand emotional regulation.
Over time, heavy device useleads to habitual attention
fragmentation, a state ofsemi-distraction that persists
even without devices.
Recovery takes longer, makingsustained focus harder to
(13:21):
achieve.
But again, solutions exist.
Research from Microsoft's HumanFactors Lab shows that creating
tech-free zones like diningtables helps build attention
capacity.
Even three device-free mealsper week yield cognitive
benefits similar to full detoxes.
(13:43):
Physical separation, likeleaving phones in another room,
proves especially effective,reducing subconscious cognitive
load and allowing richer, moremeaningful interactions.
Again, you don't need toabandon technology to repair
your attention span, justimplement targeted boundaries.
One effective method is the90-20 rule.
(14:04):
This was developed by Stanfordresearchers after studying
cognitive performance patterns.
The idea is simple Work inuninterrupted 90-minute blocks
followed by 20-minute breaksspent completely offline.
For example, imagine startingyour morning with a focused work
session, then stepping outsidefor a short walk or enjoying a
(14:26):
cup of coffee by the window.
These analog breaks allow yourbrain to reset more effectively
than switching between digitaltabs, aligning with natural
attention cycles and preventingthe cognitive drain of constant
task switching.
Cold turkey approaches oftenfail because smartphones fulfill
genuine human needs, albeitinefficiently.
Instead of eliminating screensentirely, consider replacing 30
(14:50):
minutes of nightly scrollingwith a phone call to a friend or
family member.
A University of Pennsylvaniastudy found this simple change
reduced loneliness scores by 38%within three weeks.
Reduced loneliness scores by38% within three weeks.
In contrast, those who triedeliminating evening screens
entirely often relapsed, provingmoderation is more sustainable
than elimination.
For lasting change, smalltechnical adjustments can yield
(15:14):
significant benefits.
For instance, installing bluelight filters on devices
improves sleep quality, whichenhances next-day focus and
social presence.
Participants using night modesettings reported feeling more
engaged in morning conversationscompared to those exposed to
unfiltered screens before bed.
These minor tweaks requireminimal effort but deliver
(15:40):
measurable neurological benefits, which is why phone
manufacturers now include thosefeatures automatically.
Another powerful habit isavoiding screens for the first
90 minutes after waking.
Neuroscience research showsthis prevents cognitive
fragmentation for up to 6 hours,allowing the prefrontal cortex
to activate fully.
For example, delaying phone useuntil after breakfast can
(16:04):
improve mid-afternoonconcentration by 31% compared to
starting the day with emails orsocial media.
Together, these strategies forma sustainable system that
enhances focus without treatingtechnology as the enemy.
The 90-20 rule combats theattention fragmentation.
Scheduled scrolling satisfiesnovelty cravings and morning
(16:26):
tech fasting protects peak focuswindows.
Over time, these changes leadto richer offline interactions
and a genuine preference forless fragmented experiences,
making the benefitsself-reinforcing.
The first few days of reducedscreen time often feel
(16:48):
uncomfortable, but by day fivethings begin to shift.
Clinical data shows that withintwo weeks of implementing focus
blocks, people report deeper,more meaningful conversations.
Face-to-face interactionincreases data wave activity in
the brain, which facilitatesemotional connection and memory
formation.
In fact, participants in theseinteractions remembered 55% more
(17:12):
details about conversationscompared to those distracted by
devices.
Memory systems reawakenalongside attention.
Neuroimaging reveals thatundistracted social interactions
activate both hippocampus andsensory processing areas,
creating richer memory traces.
One participant shared how shevividly remembered not just her
(17:33):
friend's words during a breakup,but the way the afternoon light
called her tears and how hervoice cracked.
These multi-sensory memoriesleave stronger emotional
imprints than the fragmentedrecall typical of phone
interrupted talks.
As attention stabilizes, peoplenaturally gravitate toward more
substantive interactions.
Early on trial, participantsoften described awkward silences
(17:57):
during focus practice.
By week three, these samepauses were seen as space to
think or comfortable quiet, andbrain scans confirmed this shift
to showing increased prefrontalcortex activity during pauses,
indicating deeper cognitiveprocessing rather than anxiety.
(18:19):
Over time, what starts as aconscious effort becomes an
automatic preference.
An MRI study showed that after30 days of reduced screen time,
the brain's reward centerresponds more strongly to real
social cues than to social medianotifications.
One participant noted I stoppedwanting to check my phone
because whatever was happeningin the room got more interesting
(18:42):
.
Small physical changes reflectthis transformation Eye contact
duration nearly doubles afterfour weeks and pupillary
synchrony and unconsciousmirroring of pupils dilation
linked to empathy improvedsignificantly.
One participant described howholding eye contact during a
difficult conversation withtheir partner helped them
(19:03):
connect in a way they hadn't inyears, and the benefits extend
beyond personal relationships.
Teachers in phone-freeclassrooms reported students
asking more follow-up questionsand making unexpected conceptual
connections.
Critically, these gains don'trequire perfection.
Even participants whooccasionally lapse into old
habits showed similarimprovements, proving that
(19:25):
consistent effort, not flawlessexecution, drives change.
Early discomfort signals growthand within months, quality
engagement becomes second nature.
Keep in mind human connectionhasn't disappeared.
We've just traded it fordigital distractions.
That buzz during dinner.
Challenge yourself to silenceit.
(19:48):
Research shows each interruptionforces your brain to reset,
draining focus and presence.
But change is easier than youthink.
Start with one device-free meala day.
Within two weeks, 68% of peoplereport deeper conversations.
Face-to-face interactions boostdataways by 40%, helping your
(20:08):
brain rebuild and your attentionspan grow.
Relationships don't thrive onmore communication, but better
communication.
The solution has always beenwithin reach Put the phone down,
look up and reconnect where itmatters most.
Remember we're not looking forperfection.
We just want to make progress.
Be sure to visitspeakwithconfidencepodcastcom to
(20:31):
get your free ebook the Top 21Challenges for Public Speakers
and how to Overcome them.
You can also register for theForming for Public Speaking
course.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change the world.
We'll talk to you next time,take care.
Popular Podcasts
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com