June 26, 2025 • 11 mins
Ever been told to “just stop saying um” like that’s helpful advice? In this episode, I share the honest moment a student called me out for giving that exact unhelpful tip, and how it changed my entire approach to teaching effective communication.
You’ll learn why our brains default to filler words when we’re speaking too fast, what neuroscience says about the role of pauses, and why the solution isn’t perfection, its presence.
Discover the "two-second solution" that helps reduce filler words by up to 40%, and how a well-timed pause can increase your authority, boost audience retention, and even calm speaking anxiety. Whether you’re leading meetings, pitching ideas, or just trying to get through a conversation without saying “uh” every 5 seconds, this episode is packed with tools to help you show up more powerfully and speak with confidence.
Resources:
Grab your free eBook: The Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers (and How to Overcome Them)
Book a free coaching call with Tim: TimNewmanSpeaks.com
Want to be a guest on Speaking With Confidence? Send Tim Newman a message on PodMatch
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Formula for Public Speaking
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tim (00:08):
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, a podcast that
helps you build the soft skillsthat lead to real results
Communication, storytelling,public speaking and showing up
with confidence in everyconversation that counts.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide you on your
journey to becoming a powerfulcommunicator.
Make sure you hit the subscribebutton so you never miss an
(00:32):
episode.
Have you ever given someoneadvice only to realize later
that you gave them bad advice?
That's exactly what I was doingwhen I started my career as a
college professor.
When my students were givingpresentations filled with filler
words, I just kept telling themto stop.
Stop using filler words.
Then one day, a really goodstudent came up to me pretty
(00:54):
upset and said you keep tellingus to stop with the filler words
, but you've never told us how.
It was like a gut punch.
I thought I was helping and allI was doing was making things
worse.
You know that was a pivotalmoment for me as an educator.
I started to research strategiesto help people reduce the use
of filler words, not just inpresentations, but in everyday
(01:16):
conversations as well.
You know most advice focuses oneliminating filler words
altogether, but research showsthat that's not enough.
And even if we did get rid ofall the filler words, we
wouldn't sound natural.
You know, top TED speakers, forexample, average about 155
(01:37):
words per minute, not becausethey rush, but because they use
deliberate pauses and theymeasure pace to sound more
confident and clear.
In this episode you'll get astep-by-step plan to replace
filler words with three coretechniques Slowing down your
speech, using strategic pausesand substituting fillers with
(01:57):
intentional silence.
By the end you'll havepractical tools to sound more
confident in any high-stakesconversation.
But why does talking fasteractually make fillers worse?
Many people assume thatspeaking quickly makes them
sharper or more intelligent, butneuroscience tells a different
story.
The faster you talk, the moreyou overload your brain.
(02:21):
It's not just about being ableto think quickly.
Your brain is simultaneouslyretrieving words, organizing
thoughts and making sure yourmessage makes sense.
When you speed past 160 wordsper minute, your brain literally
has to buffer, and that's whenums and uhs slip in.
(02:43):
Imagine your mind is a computerrunning too many programs all
at once.
When it gets overloaded,everything starts to lag.
Those filler words are likeyour brain stalling while trying
to catch up with your mouth.
So instead of sounding morearticulate, you end up sounding
less certain and less credible.
In fact, a study by BYU foundthat audiences trust speakers
(03:05):
less when they use more fillerwords.
The more ums, uhs and likes etc.
That you use, the more yourauthority takes a hit.
Now here's where the researchgets interesting.
A Stanford analysis of hundredsof TED Talks revealed that the
most engaging speakers thosewhose messages stuck with the
(03:33):
audience spoke at an averagerate of about 155 words per
minute.
That sweet spot between 140 and160 words per minute led to 15
to 20% better audience retention.
So not only do slower speakersuse fewer fillers, but their
ideas are also more likely to beremembered.
This isn't just true in publicspeaking.
Business pitches deliveredaround 160 words per minute are
(03:59):
rated as more credible thanthose given at a faster pace.
Listeners find slower speakersare more trustworthy and they're
more likely to remember whatwas actually said.
When you talk fast, yourthoughts can outpace your mouth
and you start inserting verbalspeed bumps to fill the space
while your brain catches up.
You don't need to speak slowly,just find a pace where your
mind and your mouth stay in sync, and when you do, you'll notice
(04:22):
those filler words start todisappear.
But there's another tool thattop speakers use to sound
confident and in control.
It's not just about speed.
It's about what you do withsilence itself.
Confident speakers share askill that often goes unnoticed.
They use silence as a tool, nota crutch.
Watch skilled leaders or TEDspeakers and you'll notice a
(04:46):
pattern.
They leave space between ideas,letting their words land and
giving listeners time to absorbwhat's important.
And here's what the sciencesays Most listeners don't
consciously register pausesunder about a second and a half.
Pauses under about a second anda half.
That means you have a window togather your thoughts, emphasize
(05:08):
a point or simply breathewithout anyone perceiving any
hesitation.
In fact, a Columbia BusinessSchool study found that when
speakers paused just before andafter key statistics, audience
retention of those stats jumpedby about 30%.
These pauses act like ahighlighter, drawing your
attention to your message andmaking it more memorable.
(05:30):
Consider two speakers deliveringthe same content.
One fills every gap with a orlike, while the other uses short
, intentional silences.
Time and again, audiences ratethe second speaker as more
competent and confident.
This isn't just aboutperception Pauses can have a
real physiological effect.
(05:50):
Coaches report that pausingtriggers a calming response,
lowering your heart rate andhelping keep your nerves in
check.
So, while it may feeluncomfortable at first.
Using silence can both help youand make you feel more in
control.
What's the ideal length for apause?
Research shows that anythingbetween half a second and two
(06:13):
seconds is perceived as naturaland purposeful.
A Harvard Business Reviewanalysis found that a two-second
pause can boost recall by about20%.
If a pause stretches muchlonger it can start to feel
awkward, but frequent briefsilences allow your audience to
process what you said andanticipate what's next.
The fear of silence is common,especially when you're nervous,
(06:37):
but learning to pause on purposegives you command over your
delivery.
That's why many vocal coachesrecommend marking pauses
directly into your notes,building muscle memory.
For when the pressure isactually on, pause a signal that
you're in control and that youtrust your message enough to let
it breathe.
So how do you use this techniqueto cut out the uhs and yums and
(06:57):
sound more polished?
Let's look at the two-secondsolution, a practical way to
replace filler words withsomething far more effective.
Professional speakers don'tjust avoid saying um or uh, they
intentionally substitute thosefillers with purposeful silence.
The key is to treat the urge touse a filler as a cue to pause,
(07:23):
rather than to fill a spacewith unnecessary words.
This approach might feeluncomfortable at first, but it's
one of the most reliable waysto sound more polished and
confident.
To put this into practice,start by becoming aware of your
own speech patterns.
Communication coaches andorganizations like Toastmasters
recommend recording yourselfduring everyday conversations.
Play back the recording andcount how many times you use
fillers like um, uh, like, etc.
(07:44):
Most people are surprised tofind they use 3-5 fillers per
minute, and the number oftendoubles when they're under
pressure.
By identifying your most commonfiller words and the situations
where they arise, you giveyourself a clear starting point
for improvement, and researchsupports the power of pauses.
One study found that speakerswho paused for a second and a
(08:07):
half were rated as 20% morethoughtful than those who only
paused for about half a second.
Silent pauses under two secondsusually go by unnoticed, but
they make your delivery appearmore composed and deliberate.
The process is straightforwardPinpoint your go-to fillers.
Next, choose two moments inyour next conversation to
(08:28):
replace some of the pause.
Gradually increase the lengthof these pauses from a half
second to a full second or moreas you grow more comfortable.
Speech coaches note that thisincremental approach helps you
build confidence without feelingforced.
Remember pauses do more thaneliminate filler words.
They also help you land yourmessage In legal and business
(08:51):
settings.
Speakers who pause beforedelivering key information see
higher retention and engagementfrom the audience.
You see, silence acts as aspotlight, drawing attention to
what matters and giving yourlisteners time to absorb your
message.
If you find silenceuncomfortable, you can use
simple bridging phrases likelet's look at this or that's a
(09:11):
great question, to maintain flowwithout resorting to fillers.
These transitions keep yourspeech organized and help the
audience follow along.
As you practice this technique,try counting one Mississippi in
your head when you feel a fillercoming on, or simply take a
breath instead.
Apply it in low-pressuresituations first, such as
(09:32):
ordering coffee or describingyour weekend, or even chatting
with your friends.
Over time, these smalladjustments will become second
nature.
With consistent practice,you'll notice measurable changes
in your speech and confidence.
Many people notice a meaningfuldrop in filler words after just
a few days of focused practice.
Some training programs reportup to a 40% reduction in that
(09:55):
short time.
This progress happens quicklybecause our brains are already
wired to use science as part ofour natural transition.
To get started, try insertingtwo intentional pauses in your
next conversation One before youanswer a question and one after
you make an important point Fortracking communication.
(10:15):
Experts recommend recordingyourself for two minutes each
day and tallying your fillerwords.
This method gives you clearfeedback and helps you notice
patterns.
The initial awkwardness passesquickly and, while your
listeners won't detect the briefpauses, they will notice your
(10:37):
increased clarity.
Authority in speaking comesfrom owning the silence and
delivering each word withintention.
Remember we're looking forprogress, not perfection.
That's all for today.
Be sure to visitspeakingwithconfidencepodcastcom
to get your free e-book the Top21 Challenges for Public
Speakers and how to Overcomethem.
You can also register for theForum for Public Speaking Group.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change the world.
(11:00):
We'll talk to you next time,take care.
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, a podcast that
helps you build the soft skillsthat lead to real results
Communication, storytelling,public speaking and showing up
with confidence in everyconversation that counts.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide you on your
journey to becoming a powerfulcommunicator.
Make sure you hit the subscribebutton so you never miss an
(00:32):
episode.
Have you ever given someoneadvice only to realize later
that you gave them bad advice?
That's exactly what I was doingwhen I started my career as a
college professor.
When my students were givingpresentations filled with filler
words, I just kept telling themto stop.
Stop using filler words.
Then one day, a really goodstudent came up to me pretty
(00:54):
upset and said you keep tellingus to stop with the filler words
, but you've never told us how.
It was like a gut punch.
I thought I was helping and allI was doing was making things
worse.
You know that was a pivotalmoment for me as an educator.
I started to research strategiesto help people reduce the use
of filler words, not just inpresentations, but in everyday
(01:16):
conversations as well.
You know most advice focuses oneliminating filler words
altogether, but research showsthat that's not enough.
And even if we did get rid ofall the filler words, we
wouldn't sound natural.
You know, top TED speakers, forexample, average about 155
(01:37):
words per minute, not becausethey rush, but because they use
deliberate pauses and theymeasure pace to sound more
confident and clear.
In this episode you'll get astep-by-step plan to replace
filler words with three coretechniques Slowing down your
speech, using strategic pausesand substituting fillers with
(01:57):
intentional silence.
By the end you'll havepractical tools to sound more
confident in any high-stakesconversation.
But why does talking fasteractually make fillers worse?
Many people assume thatspeaking quickly makes them
sharper or more intelligent, butneuroscience tells a different
story.
The faster you talk, the moreyou overload your brain.
(02:21):
It's not just about being ableto think quickly.
Your brain is simultaneouslyretrieving words, organizing
thoughts and making sure yourmessage makes sense.
When you speed past 160 wordsper minute, your brain literally
has to buffer, and that's whenums and uhs slip in.
(02:43):
Imagine your mind is a computerrunning too many programs all
at once.
When it gets overloaded,everything starts to lag.
Those filler words are likeyour brain stalling while trying
to catch up with your mouth.
So instead of sounding morearticulate, you end up sounding
less certain and less credible.
In fact, a study by BYU foundthat audiences trust speakers
(03:05):
less when they use more fillerwords.
The more ums, uhs and likes etc.
That you use, the more yourauthority takes a hit.
Now here's where the researchgets interesting.
A Stanford analysis of hundredsof TED Talks revealed that the
most engaging speakers thosewhose messages stuck with the
(03:33):
audience spoke at an averagerate of about 155 words per
minute.
That sweet spot between 140 and160 words per minute led to 15
to 20% better audience retention.
So not only do slower speakersuse fewer fillers, but their
ideas are also more likely to beremembered.
This isn't just true in publicspeaking.
Business pitches deliveredaround 160 words per minute are
(03:59):
rated as more credible thanthose given at a faster pace.
Listeners find slower speakersare more trustworthy and they're
more likely to remember whatwas actually said.
When you talk fast, yourthoughts can outpace your mouth
and you start inserting verbalspeed bumps to fill the space
while your brain catches up.
You don't need to speak slowly,just find a pace where your
mind and your mouth stay in sync, and when you do, you'll notice
(04:22):
those filler words start todisappear.
But there's another tool thattop speakers use to sound
confident and in control.
It's not just about speed.
It's about what you do withsilence itself.
Confident speakers share askill that often goes unnoticed.
They use silence as a tool, nota crutch.
Watch skilled leaders or TEDspeakers and you'll notice a
(04:46):
pattern.
They leave space between ideas,letting their words land and
giving listeners time to absorbwhat's important.
And here's what the sciencesays Most listeners don't
consciously register pausesunder about a second and a half.
Pauses under about a second anda half.
That means you have a window togather your thoughts, emphasize
(05:08):
a point or simply breathewithout anyone perceiving any
hesitation.
In fact, a Columbia BusinessSchool study found that when
speakers paused just before andafter key statistics, audience
retention of those stats jumpedby about 30%.
These pauses act like ahighlighter, drawing your
attention to your message andmaking it more memorable.
(05:30):
Consider two speakers deliveringthe same content.
One fills every gap with a orlike, while the other uses short
, intentional silences.
Time and again, audiences ratethe second speaker as more
competent and confident.
This isn't just aboutperception Pauses can have a
real physiological effect.
(05:50):
Coaches report that pausingtriggers a calming response,
lowering your heart rate andhelping keep your nerves in
check.
So, while it may feeluncomfortable at first.
Using silence can both help youand make you feel more in
control.
What's the ideal length for apause?
Research shows that anythingbetween half a second and two
(06:13):
seconds is perceived as naturaland purposeful.
A Harvard Business Reviewanalysis found that a two-second
pause can boost recall by about20%.
If a pause stretches muchlonger it can start to feel
awkward, but frequent briefsilences allow your audience to
process what you said andanticipate what's next.
The fear of silence is common,especially when you're nervous,
(06:37):
but learning to pause on purposegives you command over your
delivery.
That's why many vocal coachesrecommend marking pauses
directly into your notes,building muscle memory.
For when the pressure isactually on, pause a signal that
you're in control and that youtrust your message enough to let
it breathe.
So how do you use this techniqueto cut out the uhs and yums and
(06:57):
sound more polished?
Let's look at the two-secondsolution, a practical way to
replace filler words withsomething far more effective.
Professional speakers don'tjust avoid saying um or uh, they
intentionally substitute thosefillers with purposeful silence.
The key is to treat the urge touse a filler as a cue to pause,
(07:23):
rather than to fill a spacewith unnecessary words.
This approach might feeluncomfortable at first, but it's
one of the most reliable waysto sound more polished and
confident.
To put this into practice,start by becoming aware of your
own speech patterns.
Communication coaches andorganizations like Toastmasters
recommend recording yourselfduring everyday conversations.
Play back the recording andcount how many times you use
fillers like um, uh, like, etc.
(07:44):
Most people are surprised tofind they use 3-5 fillers per
minute, and the number oftendoubles when they're under
pressure.
By identifying your most commonfiller words and the situations
where they arise, you giveyourself a clear starting point
for improvement, and researchsupports the power of pauses.
One study found that speakerswho paused for a second and a
(08:07):
half were rated as 20% morethoughtful than those who only
paused for about half a second.
Silent pauses under two secondsusually go by unnoticed, but
they make your delivery appearmore composed and deliberate.
The process is straightforwardPinpoint your go-to fillers.
Next, choose two moments inyour next conversation to
(08:28):
replace some of the pause.
Gradually increase the lengthof these pauses from a half
second to a full second or moreas you grow more comfortable.
Speech coaches note that thisincremental approach helps you
build confidence without feelingforced.
Remember pauses do more thaneliminate filler words.
They also help you land yourmessage In legal and business
(08:51):
settings.
Speakers who pause beforedelivering key information see
higher retention and engagementfrom the audience.
You see, silence acts as aspotlight, drawing attention to
what matters and giving yourlisteners time to absorb your
message.
If you find silenceuncomfortable, you can use
simple bridging phrases likelet's look at this or that's a
(09:11):
great question, to maintain flowwithout resorting to fillers.
These transitions keep yourspeech organized and help the
audience follow along.
As you practice this technique,try counting one Mississippi in
your head when you feel a fillercoming on, or simply take a
breath instead.
Apply it in low-pressuresituations first, such as
(09:32):
ordering coffee or describingyour weekend, or even chatting
with your friends.
Over time, these smalladjustments will become second
nature.
With consistent practice,you'll notice measurable changes
in your speech and confidence.
Many people notice a meaningfuldrop in filler words after just
a few days of focused practice.
Some training programs reportup to a 40% reduction in that
(09:55):
short time.
This progress happens quicklybecause our brains are already
wired to use science as part ofour natural transition.
To get started, try insertingtwo intentional pauses in your
next conversation One before youanswer a question and one after
you make an important point Fortracking communication.
(10:15):
Experts recommend recordingyourself for two minutes each
day and tallying your fillerwords.
This method gives you clearfeedback and helps you notice
patterns.
The initial awkwardness passesquickly and, while your
listeners won't detect the briefpauses, they will notice your
(10:37):
increased clarity.
Authority in speaking comesfrom owning the silence and
delivering each word withintention.
Remember we're looking forprogress, not perfection.
That's all for today.
Be sure to visitspeakingwithconfidencepodcastcom
to get your free e-book the Top21 Challenges for Public
Speakers and how to Overcomethem.
You can also register for theForum for Public Speaking Group.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change the world.
(11:00):
We'll talk to you next time,take care.
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