February 17, 2025 • 53 mins
What if your biggest public speaking blunder could become your greatest lesson? In this episode of Speaking With Confidence, I’m joined by the incredible Vicki Noethling, a speaker, coach, and master storyteller who knows firsthand that confidence isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence, practice, and having fun along the way.
From her infamous "pee-pee" incident on live TV to a less-than-graceful fall in church, Vicki shares some of her most humbling (and hilarious) public speaking moments. But more importantly, she reveals how those experiences helped her become a more resilient, authentic, and engaging communicator.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why public speaking is just a conversation, not a performance
- How to embrace mistakes as part of your growth journey
- The secret to engaging younger generations and teaching eye contact
- Practical strategies to elevate your virtual presence (lighting, sound, and more!)
- How storytelling can capture your legacy and impact future generations
Key Takeaways:
- Mistakes are part of the learning process—embrace them!
- Confidence comes from knowing your material and being yourself
- Public speaking requires continuous improvement and practice
- Effective communication can open doors for leadership and career growth
- Expressiveness helps you connect and engage with your audience
- A strong virtual presence (lighting, sound, and setup) makes a difference
- Every story matters—your experiences are worth sharing
Vicki’s wisdom reminds us that confidence comes from practice, preparation, and most importantly, being yourself. Whether you're refining your public speaking skills, improving your virtual presence, or simply looking to communicate more effectively, this episode is packed with insights that will help you grow.
Tune in now and take your communication skills to the next level!
Want more resources on public speaking? Visit TimNewmanSpeaks.com to grab free tips and book a call with me.
Want to be a guest on Speaking With Confidence? Send Tim Newman a message on PodMatch
Speaking With Confidence
Formula for Public Speaking
Facebook
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tim (00:07):
Welcome to Speaking with Confidence, a podcast that's
here to help you unlock thepower of effective public
speaking.
I'm your host, tim Newman, andI'm excited to take you on a
journey to become a betterpublic speaker.
Today's guest, vicki Nethling,is a speaker, trainer and coach,
focusing on public speaking andleadership.
She also has an anti-agingwellness business, which
(00:31):
complements her public speakingbusiness as well.
Her focus is on entrepreneurs,especially women, helping them
find their voice and getcomfortable going live, online
or on stage.
She's a best-selling author andhost of the Find your
Leadership Conference podcast.
She offers webinars, coursesand individual and group
programs to take her clients tothe next level in their business
(00:51):
.
Vicki, welcome to the show.
It's been a while since we hada chance to catch up, so I'm
glad to talk to you today.
Vicki (00:59):
Thanks, tim, so good to see you again.
We had such a fun time on mypodcast, I was anxious to get
back here with you on yours.
Tim (01:07):
Yeah, and it's great when you find somebody who you know
you think alike and you do a lotof the same things but maybe
have a different approach to it,and it's good to be able to
connect with people like thatall the time anyway.
Vicki (01:21):
Yeah, different strokes for different folks.
You know, that's the beauty ofwhat we do, exactly.
Yeah, different strokes fordifferent folks, that's the
beauty of what we do.
Tim (01:27):
Exactly, exactly.
So tell us about your speakingjourney and have you ever had
any embarrassing moments?
When was that moment that youknew you could get over your
fears and be great and be ableto teach and inspire other
people?
Vicki (01:42):
I've had so many embarrassing moments, it's not
even funny.
One of the pivotal moments Iguess I had been in Toastmasters
, for probably I was the founder, or am the founder, of the UPS
Corporate Toastmasters in 1998,way back, and so I had been in
(02:06):
supervision just probably aboutfour or five years and joined
Toastmasters right as I wentinto supervision and so as a
Toastmaster, they said well,normally the board of directors
does our annual talk of state ofthe business and all this, and
they each discipline isrepresented in a small talk, and
(02:31):
so we're going to havedifferent members managers,
supervisors be able to do thosetalks, except for the main one,
and so we're going to have youdo the HR talk.
Okay, so they give you a script, have a script.
I'm allowed to read from thescript.
I'm in front of 300 people andit's televised and I get up and
(02:55):
my first sentence had the wordpeople in it and I didn't say
people, I said pee-pee as soonas it came out of my mouth.
I saw the looks on the people'sfaces and I could have died.
I didn't.
I could have stopped and cried.
I didn't.
(03:16):
I just said hey guys, I'm a mom, I'm allowed to say that.
But let me tell you what'swritten on this piece of paper.
And I just went on and I andthey laughed and honestly,
probably 10 years later I stillhad people saying, hey, I
remember you, you're the girlthat talked about pee pee on
stage, but it's you know it.
(03:36):
It made me realize that youknow, everybody makes mistakes
and it's how you react to itthat makes the difference, makes
mistakes and it's how you reactto it that makes the difference
.
And so, as time goes on, therewere just other instances where
(03:56):
you know, even today, in thispast year, I read for a lector
for the church and so I got up,I had a new pair of shoes on,
tim, they were awesome shoes.
I had a little skirt on.
I get up onto the altar and I'mwalking to the ambo to be able
to read my scripture, and myankle went over on these little
(04:17):
wedges and down I went Now ourchurch has people in the front
and people on the side and I hada skirt on, oh boy.
And down I went and I poppedback up and I walked and I did
the reading because I couldn'tslow down things I couldn't make
.
And so, once again, you know Idon't know what people saw on
the sides, but it was OK andagain, I wasn't arrested.
(04:40):
I wasn't, you know, I didn'tdie from it and it made it a
moment.
It was a moment, yeah, and so Ialways teach that anytime you
get up and speak.
Just remember, it's just aconversation.
Tim (04:55):
Yeah.
Vicki (04:55):
You know, tim, it's just a conversation and you don't
practice for conversations, youdon't have a script for a
conversation.
For conversations, you don'thave a script for a conversation
.
The thing that happens, themagic that happens, is whenever
you're in that conversation andyou just are, you Right, and
(05:18):
it's natural, and you don't haveto practice how you use your
hands and you don't have topractice the vocal variety and
the gesturing and all thosethings.
It just happens and thegesturing and all those things,
it just happens.
And so if we, anytime we get upand speak to anyone, feel
confident in what we have topresent, that's the one thing
know your material and then justhave a conversation, yeah.
Tim (05:41):
Yes, it's so important to understand, like you just said,
that everybody makes mistakes.
And you know, for me, I don'ttake myself very seriously.
I tell people I don't takemyself very seriously at all,
but I take what I do seriouslyand I use self-deprecating humor
.
When I mess up, I'm like, justokay, here we go and you move on
, and it's okay to laugh, it'sokay to make fun of yourself and
(06:04):
and and just get on to aboutthe conversation that you're
supposed to have.
It's um, you know again, peoplearen't judging you like we
think they are.
They're they're more worriedabout thinking about what other
people are thinking about them.
Um, you know so it's it's goingto be okay, it really is.
Vicki (06:21):
Yeah.
So when did you know you weregoing to be great?
You know, I think every day youwonder am I going to be great
today?
But the thing is, how do youstart your day?
You know, if you start your daysaying, oh, this is going to
suck, I'm going to have ahorrible day.
(06:41):
But you know, if you start yourday and think, you know I'm
going to give it my best, and Ithink that's what's important.
I never try for perfect.
I learned in all my years thatperfect is boring and it's not
going to happen.
And if you worry about beingperfect, that's whenever you
screw up more.
That's whenever you feel lessthan you really are worth, and
(07:05):
there are plenty of people thatcan cut you down.
So why should I be that person?
So I'm just going to say thisis going to be a great interview
, this is going to be a greatspeech, this is going to be a
great lesson, and I'm going tojust give it my best because you
deserve, as the audience, mybest.
Tim (07:24):
And that's really a mindset shift that you know we've got
to instill in our students andin our clients, right, because
that's not an air fingers quotesnormal thought process.
You know society hasconditioned ourselves to not
think like that, so we reallyhave to have that mindset shift.
Vicki (07:47):
Yeah, and even you know some of the coaches that I've
had their process is differentthan I coach, and it's not to
say that's not good, it'sobviously they have less clients
, but it's.
It was like whenever I didmodeling when I was younger,
(08:08):
like they looked at everythingyour eyes aren't right, your,
your nose is not right, you know.
And it was like but do I lookokay?
Is anybody going to buy whatI'm wearing?
And so if you start to focus onall those things, you'll find
things wrong, right.
Tim (08:25):
Exactly.
Vicki (08:26):
But as a coach, you know we have to really remind you of
the things that are good, thatyou're doing well and anything.
Whether you talk to the personabout what they're doing well as
a speaker or what they couldimprove, you have to include
that three-letter word afterwhich is why?
(08:47):
Why did I love the way you didthat?
Why could you have done itdifferently?
And this is how it would soundif you tried it differently.
And then let them try that andsee how it feels, because then
they'll get that confidence thatoh yeah, I could do that.
But if you just say this isterrible and move on, then
(09:09):
they're going to wonder, well,why was it terrible?
It's like if you get a grade ona test and they just give you
the reason, you're looking allthrough it, thinking, well, what
was wrong?
You know?
with this essay that I did, orthis paper that I wrote wrong.
You know, with this essay thatI did or this paper that I wrote
(09:29):
, you know, and as a a personwho writes books or even a movie
, if people don't come, you wantto have that critics, even
though we hate them, but youwant to have that person that
says what they didn't like.
Is it, is it a personal opinion, or is it really okay?
What you put out there wasn'tyour best, and maybe this is how
(09:51):
you could have done itdifferently.
Tim (09:54):
So, yeah, I, I, I like that , that approach and that mindset
a lot.
You know, I'm somebody thatthat number one asks a lot of
questions.
So, um, you know again, why.
Why are you doing it this way,whatever it is?
Would you consider doing it adifferent way?
Why, or why not, have you triedit other ways?
And this is what you've settledon, or this is what you have
(10:15):
found works for you, and fromthat standpoint, that's when we
can really start to help people,you know, as opposed to, like
you said, just coming in andsaying no, no, no, no, no, do it
this way.
Because you know, again, I comefrom the, from a sport
background, and take golf, forexample, how many different ways
are there to swing a golf club,right?
I mean, if, if there was onlyone correct way, right, nobody
(10:40):
would be better than anybodyplaying golf.
Vicki (10:43):
Yeah.
Tim (10:44):
Right, I told my husband.
Vicki (10:46):
I tried golf and I still probably will play with it a
little bit more.
But I said, god, there's somuch to remember.
You're just swinging this, butthere's so much to remember.
Tim (11:01):
And it's okay to do things differently Because again,
number one we're all different.
We all process informationdifferent, we all communicate
differently.
We all have different strengthsin how we communicate and how
we perceive things, both fromthe coaching perspective and the
(11:31):
student or client perspectiveto ask questions and come to
some understanding of why andhow things are done the way that
they're done and be good andgreat at those things.
Vicki (11:38):
Doing them differently.
Tie in public speaking tosports or even singing, where
you don't the first time yousing a note, the first time you
swing a bat or swing a golf club, shoot a basket, it's not going
to be great, it, unless you'rejust uber uber gifted.
(11:59):
But, um, generally peoplearen't.
And so it's that practice, it'sdoing it over trying a
(12:24):
different way.
You know, do it, the better itbecomes, because now it's more
natural and you find things thatin your voice, in your tone, in
your speed, that work best andthat's the way that you'll do it
.
So, again, as you said, it'sindividual, but you cannot
(12:44):
expect that the first time thatyou do anything you'll be an
expert at it.
One of the ideas is that, justlike a chapter in a book, in
chapter one we only know alittle bit, we're only a little
bit understanding what's goingon, but by the time you get to
chapter 20, you know a whole lotmore.
(13:05):
Well, why should I expect toact like I'm in chapter 20 when
I'm just in chapter one?
Tim (13:11):
Exactly, Exactly.
And you see this and I broughtthis up again to my daughter- a
couple weeks ago.
It's kind of like if you take ababy right and think about a
baby rolling over and it doesn'tjust happen, right, I mean,
(13:36):
they work at it, they work at it, you may help them and they
start to figure it out, and thenthey can roll over, and then
they try and crawl and they'retrying to figure that out, and
then they can roll over, andthen they try and crawl and
they're trying to figure thatout, and then they can crawl,
and then they try and stand up,then they can walk.
So it's not just as simple, asyou know.
Like you said, do it one time.
(13:57):
It takes practice and we seethat from infancy, all the way
up through what we're doing here, really until you die, we're
learning and trying differentthings and practicing different
things our entire lifespan.
Vicki (14:13):
Yeah, and you have to, and that's what makes life
interesting, right?
Tim (14:17):
Exactly, exactly, and you know we've talked about the need
for young people, youngprofessionals, you know to
improve their communicationskills and you do really good
work with young people in thisarea.
What are some areas that you'reseeing across the board that
need improvement, and you knowwhat are some of your successes
(14:38):
in that area.
Vicki (14:41):
Well, obviously one of the areas that I try to work a
lot with and I work with youthfrom 9 to 17, and then the 20s
to the 30s-year-olds as well,but especially with the younger
generations that are socomfortable with technology
they've picked it up as babiesand so they're so used to being
(15:11):
not looking at you and thatdirect engagement is tough, and
so I love to teach both onlineand in person, because online
they are so used to I don't haveto look at you, I'm just
(15:31):
talking down here, it's fine.
I'm looking, it's no, youdisengaged us now and when, when
you look away, it's almost atrust and sincerity thing.
If you can't look at me whenyou're saying something, are you
really being honest, truthfulto me?
And so the kids don't reallyassociate that.
(15:52):
So that's one of the thingsthat I try to teach them is it's
okay to look at us and you willget.
The more you do it, just likeanything, the more comfortable
you'll get.
So that's one of the thingshaving that direct contact.
And then, whenever I teach howto speak in person or online,
(16:12):
I'm also teaching them how towrite Cool, because there is not
the tone you know, byexplaining to them how, when I
say things, I can say it threedifferent ways and get three
different meanings to the personthat's hearing it, whereas when
you write, it's only one way.
(16:33):
It's going to come out one wayand it may not be the way you
want it to be, and so it's theinterpretation.
So, how you write, you need tomake sure that you read that
back to yourself to make surethat it couldn't be
misinterpreted in any way.
Especially, are not even therea lot of times not exposed in
(16:59):
the classroom to anything but amonotone voice that's keeping
them.
You know they're reading fromsomething.
There's no emphasis, there's noenthusiasm, there's nothing to
engage them, and so they fallasleep in class, right.
Tim (17:15):
Yes, they do so.
Vicki (17:18):
What we try to teach them is how important that
rollercoaster ride that youshould take your voice on is,
and I love, whenever I go intoschools, I actually make the
teachers who are sponsoring myclass go through my course, my
(17:38):
class go through my course, sothat they understand the value
and the benefit of what I'mteaching the kids, but they also
can reinforce it in theclassroom.
And one particular teacher I'veworked now since 2011,.
So over 10 years with thatperson and the difference in
their teaching style isremarkable remarkable and I know
(18:01):
it's because that they wentthrough that course and they saw
the difference.
That's the thing that isimpactful, even in the
individual.
You see the difference in justmaking small changes in how you
communicate can make an impactin your success, in your
persuasive abilities, yourmotivation abilities, and to
(18:27):
just see the difference in theconfidence these students have,
as well as the adults that youteach.
I tell a story about a class, amanagement class, that I went in
and one of the people on myteam was a young 20-something
(18:49):
and he had been a supervisor forabout a month or two and they
decided well, we need a manager.
The manager left, we're goingto move him.
So he had two months of being asupervisor, so going from a
field person to a supervisor,and now he's a manager.
And it just so happened he wasterrified of public speaking.
(19:12):
Terrified of public speaking.
And to graduate from our courseand to get the full promotion,
he had to just do a three-minutetalk on sports, weather or news
.
And we went through three weeksin this class, off-site, away
(19:32):
from our families, and everytime we had to do a presentation
from our team, he would berunning to the bathroom.
And so the night before we wereto do our final course, where
he had to speak, I talked to theteacher and I said this kid
(19:54):
gets sick, physically ill, atthe thought of having to talk to
this class.
Is there anything that you cando?
Because when we talkindividually with him, he has
such great ideas, has such greatheart.
He'll make a wonderful manager.
But this is going to be astopping block for him.
And so he said I got this.
(20:14):
And so he said I got this.
And the next day, whenever wegot into class, as we always did
, we networked and chattedaround until class officially
starts.
And so there was a footballgame the night before, and so
the teacher went up to him andhe said say Roy, hey Roy, did
you see the game last night?
(20:34):
And he said oh my God, it wasso great.
And he talked about the player,his favorite player, and the
plays that were made and howgreat the game was.
And he was animated and he waseven funny and it was like a
different person.
Where did this guy come from,you know?
And at the end of the threeminutes of him spouting about
this, the teacher said Roy,thanks, you just gave your
(20:58):
sports talk.
If you could have seen the faithon this gentleman of just such
pride that he did it, that hedidn't die, he didn't throw up,
he could do this.
The recognition that he coulddo this changed my life.
And so when I teach the kidsand they have to do their first
(21:21):
speech or adults three minutesor four minutes long, I help
them to just see that they canget through it, that they can do
this.
And once they do that, thenthey know okay, do this, I can
make, I can make it.
And that's the difference.
(21:41):
You just have to build theirunderstanding that you know that
they can do it.
And he just had a conversation,that's all he thought he was
doing.
He didn't think he was giving apresentation.
Tim (21:54):
He was just chatting, having a talk as if he was at
the bar with this guy Right andthe difference that I mean again
, the pressure that he wasputting on himself to be
something that he made uphimself, and that's it gives me
(22:14):
kind of goosebumps to hear thatstory, just from the fact that,
wow, he I mean from hisperspective he did it without
even knowing that.
He did it and did a good job ofit, and what doors that's going
to open for him.
You know, being 20 some yearsold, I mean being able to do
that opens all kinds of doors.
Vicki (22:35):
Yeah, able to do that opens all kinds of doors.
Yeah, and I give a lot ofcredit to the teacher because he
could have just said well, youknow, he's just somebody's not
going to make it, you know.
But luckily he trusted myopinion but also what he saw in
class, you know, as a teacherI'm sure he was wandering around
listening to our individualconversations as we were
(22:58):
preparing for our talks.
So I give him a lot of creditand that's for me, and I never
want to just make an assumptionthat somebody can't be great.
Tim (23:10):
Right, anybody who wants to be good at something, if
they're willing to do the work,if they're willing to put the
time and practice and effortinto it, can get there now.
Yeah, you may not ever bemichael jordan, you may not ever
(23:31):
be tiger woods, but you're, youcan be good enough to, to do
what you need, what needs to bedone, to be able to express your
ideas, to be able to getpromotions, to be able to have
conversations with significantothers, to be able to have
meaningful dialogue with people.
You disagree with.
That we have on a regular basisand happen if we're willing to
(23:58):
put the work in and practice andideas.
You know, put those ideas intopractice.
Vicki (24:04):
Yeah, for sure, just believe in yourself, exactly.
Tim (24:10):
And you know, the other piece with this story that
really kind of resonated with meis the whole idea that you know
you said that if you talk tohim individually, kid was smart,
had great ideas, you know,motivated all these other things
.
Understand that you can be allthose things, but if you can't
(24:34):
communicate it to people, if youcan't, you could have the best
idea on the team, the best ideaon the team, but if you can't
communicate it, maybe the worstidea is going to be the one that
gets communicated and that'sthe one that they're going to go
with, because somebody could,could communicate that and
that's so important, especiallyfrom a from a business or
management or leadershipperspective perspectives.
(24:56):
Those people that cancommunicate well, those are the
ones that get promoted, thoseare the ideas that get moved
forward.
Vicki (25:05):
Yeah, the loudest voice in the room.
I remember that was one of thethings that was sort of like an
epiphany for me when I got mydegree, because I didn't go to
college until I was 45, 46.
And so I got my degree at 50.
And whenever I finally had thatpiece of paper, that
(25:29):
acknowledgement, but those fourand I did my degree online at
University of Phoenix, on theroad, I was on the road most of
the time and I just saw how allof my life experiences really
were valuable to me and that Iwas.
You know, I did very well incollege and so that whenever I
(25:53):
went into now a meeting at thecorporate office with others
that had all the degrees, themaster's, the PhDs, the
experience, I was more confidentand it's like well, louder
voice, more confident, would sayexactly what I was thinking.
But they were heard, they wererecognized and I was just that
(26:25):
quiet person in the back.
How many of you are that quietperson in the back that are
letting life pass you by becauseyou don't have a voice?
It's important.
Tim (26:40):
I mean, the majority of people are introverts, right,
yeah, and so, especially, youknow, when we get in these types
of situations, if we have alittle bit of doubt in ourselves
, or if we're not necessarilysure how we want to communicate
things, that takes over and wehave to have ways, and we have
(27:06):
to have techniques or cues tosnap out of it to be able to
share our thoughts and ideas.
And we can't let that innertalk or that inner monologue,
you know, stop us for from fromdoing those types of things.
And we don't have to be anexpert to do that, it's, it's
just speaking up and you know,here's my thoughts, here's my
(27:27):
ideas, and and then go fromthere.
We'd have to be the jump up anddown, you know, pat people on
the back there.
It's so much more um nuancedthan that the back.
Vicki (27:41):
there.
It's so much more um nuance thanthat.
You know, yeah, and and you haveto understand too that
especially, you know, if you'rein a brainstorming session, you
may not have the full picture,but you may have insights and
ideas that are part of thepicture that aren't being said,
or things perspective that's notbeing shared.
That would perhaps change thedirection of the way things are
going and allow others to take adifferent viewpoint and
(28:06):
therefore be much more valuable.
And I always, when I was afacilitator in the corporate
world, I would make sure that Ialways said there are no stupid
questions and you know I won'thave all the answers either, but
you need to at least share whatyou're thinking so that we can
(28:28):
ponder it, think about it, youknow, wrap it around a few times
to see is there some value orbenefit for us to pursuing this
further, and that way you don'tfeel like, oh well, I'm shut
down, nobody's going to acceptthis, and you know, if it isn't
accepted, that's fine, becausewe learn from our failures.
(28:51):
We also learn from ideas thatperhaps aren't the best idea at
that time at that place.
Tim (28:58):
Exactly, exactly, and it takes work, it takes practice.
That's that's.
That's you know, I, I, I comeback to that a lot and you know
and that's something that I dothink that as coaches, we do
(29:20):
have to be upfront with ourclients.
This is not a fix itautomatically.
Yes, we can improve and we canimprove quickly and
incrementally, but it takes work, it takes practice and you have
to do it.
I mean, you have to actually dothe work and and I think
sometimes you know I fall intothis trap sometimes too yeah, if
(29:44):
you, you know, as I'm coachingor I'm teaching students or what
have you, yeah, just go aheadand do these things, make eye
contact.
All you have to do is make eyecontact, just just do it, just
make eye contact and move on.
And then I've got to say take,just make eye contact and move
on.
And then I've got to take astep back and say, okay, let's
practice making purposeful eyecontact.
You know, when you're gettingto a certain phrase or you're
(30:07):
getting to a certain part inthis talk, make sure, let's make
sure that you're makingpurposeful eye contact.
Vicki (30:25):
You know, and doing that and showing them techniques on
how to do that and having themwalk through it and doing those
types of exercises.
Yeah, I always remind peoplethat your face is part of your,
your gesturing, that thosefacial expressions can be very,
very important and, and you know, I think sometimes we shy away
from being expressive because wewant to appear just so
professional and astute andsmart and it's like but you're
(30:48):
not natural.
You know, if you're talkingabout something that's heartfelt
or, you know, compassionate orwhatever you should, or funny,
you should smile.
You should be absolutelycomfortable smiling.
I always say that there's somegreat photos out there that are
so complimentary of me becauseof the expressions that I use.
(31:09):
But they're me, you know, andit is what it is.
Tim (31:14):
Right, I've been accused of having too much resting bitch
face.
That's why I laughed.
When you said that, I laughed.
I said that's.
I said it's just pretty much myface.
I've been accused of having toomuch resting bitch face.
Vicki (31:24):
That's why I laughed.
When you said that, I laughed.
I said that's just pretty muchmy face.
I mean there's nothing I can doabout it.
That's just me four years infront of people.
And then finally one of theguys on my team said you know,
vicki, now for this year you'redistrict director, you're going
(31:44):
to be out there and people aregoing to take pictures all the
time, so you need to smile a lot, smile a lot.
And so it's interesting,because I became so aware of it
and I thought, oh God, did Ismell?
But now in podcasting I seemyself all the time and it
becomes very comfortable andvery natural.
I thought if I could have justhad a monitor in front of me
(32:07):
that showed my face.
Oh wait, that's.
That wasn't the rightexpression to have, or smile,
but it's funny, it is.
It is an art.
Tim (32:17):
Yeah, and.
And so you know, when talkingabout being live on camera, how
can we really engage or connectwith our audience virtually?
You know, again, I tell thisstory a lot Six or seven months
ago, I couldn't take a selfie,even though I've been teaching
online.
But I do still strugglesometimes looking at the camera.
(32:37):
But I couldn't take a selfiebecause I never know where to
look Right, and my, my, my, mything was well, I'm not taking a
selfie because that's not whatmen do, right, but but?
But that was my excuse for notdoing it.
But.
But now doing these and doingsome of these, you know, you
know shorter.
You know short reels and thosetypes of things to talk about.
You know reels and those typesof things to talk about,
(33:01):
coaching and those types ofthings.
I've had to start doing it andagain, I'm practicing getting
better at it.
But how can we really engage orconnect with our audience
virtually?
Because it's hard.
Vicki (33:11):
It's hard.
Yeah, I have a checklist ofdifferent things to do to be
more engaging on camera and oneof them is the eye contact piece
and I you can have used thelaptop camera and and be able to
stare at it, but it's kind oflike a little bit up if you look
(33:32):
at and so that makes your eyesnot really engaging.
And then if you have your as alaptop and you're looking down,
well, that kind of isn't you'relooking at that red dot.
Vicki told me to look at thered dot but it's not engaging.
So I do recommend that you know, if you're going to be doing
this, that you, even if you'rein a remote working I would get
(33:55):
the Logitech or one of thoseremote cameras, that is,
external cameras, and I havemine on a stand.
That's a telescoping, so I canhave it at the right size, the
right height for me.
But I tell people, stick apicture of your favorite
relative, your kid, your dog,you know a funny moment, so that
(34:20):
you just stare at that picture.
And some originally I think theperson that was describing this
to us said you just put an eyethere.
Well then I look stupid.
I'm not going to look at thateye.
But if I have a picture of, youknow, my grandboys, I'm going
to smile, I'm going to be happyto engage and look at them the
(34:40):
whole time.
The other thing is you have totrain yourself to not care what
else is going on on the screenand and I think you know, we
think, well, I'm not engaging ifI'm not looking at you but I am
looking at you.
I'm not looking at you but I amlooking at you, and so you just
get comfortable talking to thecamera.
(35:00):
It's just what people intelevision had to learn to do as
well.
You know, just pretend thatyou're talking to somebody that
you love, you know that's there,and be engaging the whole time.
There are times where I have toread, and so if you do have to
disengage to look down and thenback up, you know, just do it
(35:21):
subtly, but you again, everytime you do look down, you do
disengage.
So you want to try your best tojust look at that camera and it
takes practice, just like golf,and you just have to just keep
on doing it.
But again, to make it as easyas possible, the external camera
(35:44):
.
I think with that picture above, it is a great way to get
started.
Tim (35:48):
Yes, it is.
I've got an external camera andit's a little high for today
because I'm on a standing desk.
Vicki (36:00):
um, no, so am I, but I'm sitting I'm sitting too, and
that's the other.
Tim (36:05):
That's the other good piece is is you.
Vicki (36:06):
You have that ability to to get it in a in a good
position um, yeah, that's why Ilove the telescopic, and it was
like 20 bucks or something that.
But, um, I can put it atwhatever size I want.
You know, if I take it, I takeit on the road with me and I
might be only using my laptopand not having my nice big
(36:27):
screen in front of me.
So then I've got a telescope, adown to be at the right height
for my where I'm sitting, and,and you know the different
chairs that you get in thedifferent locations- yes.
So that's why, before I got thecamera, I had a box assortment
by my desk.
Well, this is the box that Ineed for this desk, for this
(36:49):
laptop, but you know, this iswhat I need for this.
And so I would raise my laptopand it might be a box in a book
or whatever, but just so that mylittle dot would be hitting,
because you always want to have,like your camera, be in thirds
and and right now, just like youwere saying, I am a little bit
high, but I can adjust my cameradown a little bit to be lower
(37:14):
so that you're at the third andyou can.
Can't do that on your laptop,right?
You?
Tim (37:18):
can't.
Vicki (37:19):
You know you can move it back and forth, but you just
want to have your third.
Your third and your chest wouldbe your other third, so that
you're nicely centered.
Tim (37:29):
What other types of things can we do to improve that
virtual presence in meetings?
You know, before we came onlive we talked about my lighting
and some of the things that Ineed to improve.
But what are some things thatyou know like the general public
can do, because you knowthey're not set up with some of
(37:50):
the things like we have?
How can they make sure thatthey're being perceived
professionally and improve theirpresentation?
Vicki (37:59):
that they're being perceived professionally and
improve their presentation.
I always recommend, you know,before I get on a podcast with
anybody, I try to make sure ifthey're my guest, I want them in
the best lighting, the bestexperience for the audience.
And so if they don't have aring light, they're just using
the natural light of the window,which can be great.
(38:23):
If you have a full Sunday andthere's no clouds, it can be the
best lighting ever.
But generally you don't havethat and if the clouds come in,
the shadows come with it.
So that's not great.
But you can just take a regularlamp, table lamp, take off the
shade, just put it in front ofyou, so behind your monitor or
(38:46):
your laptop, so that the lightis coming straight on to you,
and then that's the bestlighting.
You can see the rig light alittle bit in my face.
I always keep powder.
This is my third podcastalready today, so I haven't
powdered myself.
But you can just keep powderand that will take those shiny
things away.
(39:06):
But I have a ring light and anAmazon three position lighting
and that's all you need.
I have no lighting in the side.
I do have windows off to theside that I have blinds on and
then I have, behind my littledivider thing, I have a full
(39:27):
size window, a picture window Iguess, and I have shades closed
completely because the lightwill come through the little
slats and then have like littlelines in me, and that's not good
either.
So you just have to be aware.
So you don't want backlighting,you don't really want overhead
lighting, because the overheadlighting will give you dark
(39:47):
shadows and no person that Iknow wants dark shadows, to look
like a squirrel or a raccoon.
So definitely don't want that.
But lighting is importantbecause you want to see the
person's, especially eyes andmouth.
Guys, we don't talk aboutmakeup too much with you, but
(40:08):
it's really kind of why peopleon television have makeup on,
even if you're a man, becausedoing something with your lips
makes it more distinct, so thatas you're speaking, people are
focusing on that.
Your eyes, you know, I havemascara, eyeliner color so that
it makes my eyes pop.
(40:29):
If you don't use makeup, if youdon't do anything, it kind of
washes you out a little bit.
So then you just need to makesure that whatever your
background is, is that your facestands out.
You have a black backgroundwhich makes your face stand out
a little bit better than alighter would do.
So you definitely want to putthe person in the best light.
(40:51):
And the other thing to be moreengaging is the sound.
If you have poor sound, thenthe people will disengage
immediately.
So I used just regular, youknow, the corded earbuds for
probably a year and a half.
It worked fine, the sound wasfine.
(41:13):
But when it, as I got to bemore professional, I did invest
in a Samsung microphone and gotgreat compliments on this.
But it is one that, if I decideto go to the next level, I can
quickly turn this into from aUSB to a panel and all the fancy
(41:37):
schmancy stuff.
But I don't have to.
You know it all works fine.
So you want to make sure peoplecan hear you, can see you, and
that the image that you have isgood.
And the final thing is Internet.
And if you have poor Internet,no matter how great your camera
(41:57):
is, your sound, your lighting,it's a problem.
I had in my podcast that I justdid previous.
It's a beautiful sunny day herein Atlanta and my power went
out momentarily like a flash.
So I lost camera, didn't loseconnection, thank you Jesus, I
didn't lose connection, but Ihad.
(42:17):
I didn't lose connection but Ihad to pause everything and make
sure we picked up where we leftoff, type of thing.
But you know I I don't wheneverI have a podcast, that's when
I'm going to be traveling.
I test as soon as I get thereand I'll cancel or reschedule a
(42:38):
podcast if the Internet's notstable, because it's not fair to
that person that I'minterviewing.
If my connection, theirconnection may be fantastic, but
if my connection is bad, thenit's just not fair to them.
So I want the again the bestexperience.
Tim (42:56):
Internet is something, recently, for me, that drives me
nuts.
It's 2024, it's almost 2025.
And you know the other podcaststhat I do.
It's golf related and you know,four or five times a year we go
live on site.
So, like at tournaments, we'reactually live on site, you know.
So we're actually in-personinterviewing winners, like you
(43:21):
know.
So we're we're actually inperson interviewing um winners,
uh, sponsors.
You know the whole deal, youknow.
So we travel there, I pack upall the gear and we go there,
and internet is awful and and soso we.
I mean, we lose out.
We lose out big time because wecan't even just recording, like
like here, everything recordsto the.
Because we can't even justrecording, like here, everything
records to the cloud.
We can't even internet, so bad,we can't even get it up into
(43:44):
the cloud, you know and thatthat that that hurts us on any
number of different levels,obviously financially, because
you know we put out money, youknow, for the travel.
Vicki (43:57):
Yeah.
Tim (43:58):
And now we're not going to be able to get that message out,
we'll be able to shareeverything that we did.
Vicki (44:04):
Yeah.
Yeah, I always take my hotspotwith me as a backup, but even
sometimes that is not strongenough if it's a really remote
area, when my brother-in-law hasa lake house and the lake house
didn't have any internet, so Icould only use my hotspot, and
(44:28):
so if I was going to be at thelake then I wouldn't do podcasts
, just for the simple fact thatif it was a cloudy day then my
hotspot might not be so greatand that wouldn't be good.
So, yeah, you have to considerthat.
I always ask and I know a lotof the podcasts that they go on.
They ask well, what kind ofinternet do you have?
Because, again, they're justtrying to make sure that the
(44:50):
experience of the audience is agood one.
Tim (44:53):
Right, and I'm sure that there's technical reasons for it
, but most places don't havewired internet anymore anyway,
and so we're kind of at themercy of the strength of the
wireless signal.
Vicki (45:28):
I have boosters.
I have three boosters just tomake sure that the signals,
because not only with thepodcasting, but I have streaming
TVs who would have thought weand all those other things
streaming?
And so I have to have powerfulsignal and almost every room of
my house has a TV.
Tim (45:45):
I'm a full-time RVer, I've got three TVs in a 42-foot bus
and I don't even watch TV.
Let's put it this way I watchvery little TV.
I mean I can't walk 10 stepswithout seeing a TV, and it's
nuts.
I mean it's crazy and that'show we are right.
(46:08):
Oh, it's got to have a TV here.
Oh, there's a space for a TV.
We've got to put one there.
Vicki (46:12):
There's got to be one outside too.
Tim (46:14):
Oh my goodness, and the internet better work outside,
for when I'm sitting outside.
Vicki (46:18):
That's right when you're watching that golf game.
Tim (46:21):
Exactly so, vicki.
Is there anything that wedidn't discuss that you think is
important for our listeners toknow?
Vicki (46:29):
Yeah, I think one of the things that we didn't talk about
fully but was mentioned subtly,I guess, guess is you just have
to have fun.
You know, I think people juststress so much uh, you know,
even to do like tiktoks andthings like that, it's like, oh,
(46:49):
you gotta redo it 50 times.
No, the best ones aren't theones that they totally screw up.
I mean, some of the the dancemoves are obviously better.
I'm telling you, it's justbecause it's showing you're
human and also it's letting thataudience know, hey, you could
do this too.
Look at, this person did it,you could do it.
(47:10):
But I think we forget to havefun and that's what it should be
all about.
Whenever I got into doingpodcasting it was actually just
as a I did a project forToastmasters on a mock one and I
had so much fun.
But then in COVID, during COVID, I had people that were shut in
(47:33):
, obviously, and they wereelderly and I knew they were
alone and I thought, well, thiswould be good.
I remembered growing up thatevery weekend I would spend time
with my grandmothers and I'd goup to my dad's mom and my
sister and I would clean houseand then we would sit and have
tea and she'd tell us stories asshe was having a shot in a beer
(47:54):
.
Tim (47:57):
That's awesome.
Vicki (47:58):
But she would tell us stories, and it was such a great
time and I thought, you know,this is what I need to do with
these older people that arelonely and don't have anyone,
and so I would do just littleinterviews like this with them
and just ask them about theirlife and their stories.
And they had such great storiesand I thought, well, you know,
(48:20):
this is what I should do, and soeventually I'm going to have
another podcast.
It's just a second podcast,it's going to be.
It's just a conversation withVicki, and I'm just going to
interview people that have coolbackgrounds.
You know, they lived a life andthey think that it was just a
life, but then they have theseawesome stories of the things
(48:42):
that they did, the people theymet, the places they went that I
think others would be enjoyingas well hearing.
Tim (48:49):
Yeah, that would be good because, again, you know, one is
getting people to tell theirstory and and they may think
it's just a normal thing, butother people would say, wow,
that's absolutely amazing.
Yeah, to be able to haveexperienced some of the things
that you experience.
Vicki (49:06):
Yeah, it's great.
One of the services that Ioffer is, like I'll do five
podcasts or five interviews withyou and record an AI transcript
and I'll give it to you.
You could write a book there itis, it's all there.
I'll bring it out in you, outof you, and and you've got your
book, get a good editor.
So that's a service I offer,yeah.
Tim (49:31):
That's a great idea.
That is, I'm speechless.
That's, that's a really goodidea.
Vicki (49:37):
Yeah, because people they can tell you their stories.
They can talk.
If you ask them to write it,they're like I'm speechless.
That's a really good idea.
Yeah, because people they cantell you their stories.
Tim (49:40):
They can talk they can.
Vicki (49:40):
If you ask them to write it, they're like I can't write,
I can't do that.
Tim (49:45):
Exactly.
Vicki (49:46):
Just tell me your whole story.
I just spent two hours with you.
You told me all about your life.
I was totally intrigued,totally enraptured.
Tim (49:59):
Yes, this is a book that people would want to hear?
Vicki (50:00):
Absolutely, they would.
Yeah, and I think some peoplehope too that they have to do
War and Peace or something youcan do a little teeny.
You know I have publisherfriends that will do small
pocket books or whatever.
But it's your story, it's yourlegacy.
Tim (50:12):
Yes.
Vicki (50:13):
It's something for you and your kids.
Yeah, you and your kids.
Tim (50:17):
Yeah, you know, in the other podcasts I do, in June I
interviewed somebody.
He was referred to me by afriend who was a he's a former
PGA Tour player but played inthe 70s, and he told his he
(50:38):
wrote a book about telling hislife on PGA Tour and PGA Tour
players in the 70s are verydifferent than they are now.
The whole industry is different.
And he told stories aboutmeeting Jack Nicklaus as a kid,
meeting these other famousgolfers.
You know growing up and doingthese amazing things, you know
(51:00):
driving all over Florida.
And he actually met and almostdated Vanna White when Vanna
White was a she was a, I don'twant to say it wrong, but maybe
she was a cashier at a grocerystore and somebody gave him her
number to hopefully hook him upas a date.
(51:23):
Just some of the craziest thingsthat are just normal, that
normal people go through everyday.
People want to hear aboutPeople, want to hear about other
people's stories, but that's areally good service.
So, just so you know, next timeI hear somebody say I want to
write a story about my life, I'mgoing to send them to you.
(51:46):
That'd be awesome man.
So where can people find youand work with you?
Vicki (51:53):
So you can connect with me by going to my website, which
isfindyourleadershipconfidencecom.
If you want to be on my podcast, you can just click on be a
guest, be my guest and fill outan application, and you can also
just go to my website and doslash schedule.
You can email me atfirstinitiallastname or you can
(52:17):
vickinetling.
So either one at gmail, sofirst initial last name at gmail
, or vickinetling at gmailcom.
Let me know what you'd like towork on.
Definitely check out my youtubechannel, which is my name,
vicki netling, and it has over460 podcasts out there.
I've got 500 plus recorded, sothere's more to come, but
(52:42):
definitely you can find me onFacebook, victoria Nethling.
You can find me on LinkedIn,vicki Nethling.
You can find me on Instagram.
You can find me on YouTube.
You can find me on Pinterest.
I'm all around.
Just search my name, you'llfind me.
Tim (53:04):
That's awesome and I'll put those links in the show notes
for everybody.
But, vicki, thank you so muchfor spending some time with us.
Vicki (53:09):
It's really good catching up with you and we'll talk to
you soon.
Awesome Thanks, Tim, so much.
Tim (53:13):
All right.
Be sure to visitspeakingwithconfidencepodcastcom
to join our growing communityand register for the Foreman for
Public Speaking course.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change the world.
We'll talk to you next time,Take care.
Welcome to Speaking with Confidence, a podcast that's
here to help you unlock thepower of effective public
speaking.
I'm your host, tim Newman, andI'm excited to take you on a
journey to become a betterpublic speaker.
Today's guest, vicki Nethling,is a speaker, trainer and coach,
focusing on public speaking andleadership.
She also has an anti-agingwellness business, which
(00:31):
complements her public speakingbusiness as well.
Her focus is on entrepreneurs,especially women, helping them
find their voice and getcomfortable going live, online
or on stage.
She's a best-selling author andhost of the Find your
Leadership Conference podcast.
She offers webinars, coursesand individual and group
programs to take her clients tothe next level in their business
(00:51):
.
Vicki, welcome to the show.
It's been a while since we hada chance to catch up, so I'm
glad to talk to you today.
Vicki (00:59):
Thanks, tim, so good to see you again.
We had such a fun time on mypodcast, I was anxious to get
back here with you on yours.
Tim (01:07):
Yeah, and it's great when you find somebody who you know
you think alike and you do a lotof the same things but maybe
have a different approach to it,and it's good to be able to
connect with people like thatall the time anyway.
Vicki (01:21):
Yeah, different strokes for different folks.
You know, that's the beauty ofwhat we do, exactly.
Yeah, different strokes fordifferent folks, that's the
beauty of what we do.
Tim (01:27):
Exactly, exactly.
So tell us about your speakingjourney and have you ever had
any embarrassing moments?
When was that moment that youknew you could get over your
fears and be great and be ableto teach and inspire other
people?
Vicki (01:42):
I've had so many embarrassing moments, it's not
even funny.
One of the pivotal moments Iguess I had been in Toastmasters
, for probably I was the founder, or am the founder, of the UPS
Corporate Toastmasters in 1998,way back, and so I had been in
(02:06):
supervision just probably aboutfour or five years and joined
Toastmasters right as I wentinto supervision and so as a
Toastmaster, they said well,normally the board of directors
does our annual talk of state ofthe business and all this, and
they each discipline isrepresented in a small talk, and
(02:31):
so we're going to havedifferent members managers,
supervisors be able to do thosetalks, except for the main one,
and so we're going to have youdo the HR talk.
Okay, so they give you a script, have a script.
I'm allowed to read from thescript.
I'm in front of 300 people andit's televised and I get up and
(02:55):
my first sentence had the wordpeople in it and I didn't say
people, I said pee-pee as soonas it came out of my mouth.
I saw the looks on the people'sfaces and I could have died.
I didn't.
I could have stopped and cried.
I didn't.
(03:16):
I just said hey guys, I'm a mom, I'm allowed to say that.
But let me tell you what'swritten on this piece of paper.
And I just went on and I andthey laughed and honestly,
probably 10 years later I stillhad people saying, hey, I
remember you, you're the girlthat talked about pee pee on
stage, but it's you know it.
(03:36):
It made me realize that youknow, everybody makes mistakes
and it's how you react to itthat makes the difference, makes
mistakes and it's how you reactto it that makes the difference
.
And so, as time goes on, therewere just other instances where
(03:56):
you know, even today, in thispast year, I read for a lector
for the church and so I got up,I had a new pair of shoes on,
tim, they were awesome shoes.
I had a little skirt on.
I get up onto the altar and I'mwalking to the ambo to be able
to read my scripture, and myankle went over on these little
(04:17):
wedges and down I went Now ourchurch has people in the front
and people on the side and I hada skirt on, oh boy.
And down I went and I poppedback up and I walked and I did
the reading because I couldn'tslow down things I couldn't make
.
And so, once again, you know Idon't know what people saw on
the sides, but it was OK andagain, I wasn't arrested.
(04:40):
I wasn't, you know, I didn'tdie from it and it made it a
moment.
It was a moment, yeah, and so Ialways teach that anytime you
get up and speak.
Just remember, it's just aconversation.
Tim (04:55):
Yeah.
Vicki (04:55):
You know, tim, it's just a conversation and you don't
practice for conversations, youdon't have a script for a
conversation.
For conversations, you don'thave a script for a conversation
.
The thing that happens, themagic that happens, is whenever
you're in that conversation andyou just are, you Right, and
(05:18):
it's natural, and you don't haveto practice how you use your
hands and you don't have topractice the vocal variety and
the gesturing and all thosethings.
It just happens and thegesturing and all those things,
it just happens.
And so if we, anytime we get upand speak to anyone, feel
confident in what we have topresent, that's the one thing
know your material and then justhave a conversation, yeah.
Tim (05:41):
Yes, it's so important to understand, like you just said,
that everybody makes mistakes.
And you know, for me, I don'ttake myself very seriously.
I tell people I don't takemyself very seriously at all,
but I take what I do seriouslyand I use self-deprecating humor
.
When I mess up, I'm like, justokay, here we go and you move on
, and it's okay to laugh, it'sokay to make fun of yourself and
(06:04):
and and just get on to aboutthe conversation that you're
supposed to have.
It's um, you know again, peoplearen't judging you like we
think they are.
They're they're more worriedabout thinking about what other
people are thinking about them.
Um, you know so it's it's goingto be okay, it really is.
Vicki (06:21):
Yeah.
So when did you know you weregoing to be great?
You know, I think every day youwonder am I going to be great
today?
But the thing is, how do youstart your day?
You know, if you start your daysaying, oh, this is going to
suck, I'm going to have ahorrible day.
(06:41):
But you know, if you start yourday and think, you know I'm
going to give it my best, and Ithink that's what's important.
I never try for perfect.
I learned in all my years thatperfect is boring and it's not
going to happen.
And if you worry about beingperfect, that's whenever you
screw up more.
That's whenever you feel lessthan you really are worth, and
(07:05):
there are plenty of people thatcan cut you down.
So why should I be that person?
So I'm just going to say thisis going to be a great interview
, this is going to be a greatspeech, this is going to be a
great lesson, and I'm going tojust give it my best because you
deserve, as the audience, mybest.
Tim (07:24):
And that's really a mindset shift that you know we've got
to instill in our students andin our clients, right, because
that's not an air fingers quotesnormal thought process.
You know society hasconditioned ourselves to not
think like that, so we reallyhave to have that mindset shift.
Vicki (07:47):
Yeah, and even you know some of the coaches that I've
had their process is differentthan I coach, and it's not to
say that's not good, it'sobviously they have less clients
, but it's.
It was like whenever I didmodeling when I was younger,
(08:08):
like they looked at everythingyour eyes aren't right, your,
your nose is not right, you know.
And it was like but do I lookokay?
Is anybody going to buy whatI'm wearing?
And so if you start to focus onall those things, you'll find
things wrong, right.
Tim (08:25):
Exactly.
Vicki (08:26):
But as a coach, you know we have to really remind you of
the things that are good, thatyou're doing well and anything.
Whether you talk to the personabout what they're doing well as
a speaker or what they couldimprove, you have to include
that three-letter word afterwhich is why?
(08:47):
Why did I love the way you didthat?
Why could you have done itdifferently?
And this is how it would soundif you tried it differently.
And then let them try that andsee how it feels, because then
they'll get that confidence thatoh yeah, I could do that.
But if you just say this isterrible and move on, then
(09:09):
they're going to wonder, well,why was it terrible?
It's like if you get a grade ona test and they just give you
the reason, you're looking allthrough it, thinking, well, what
was wrong?
You know?
with this essay that I did, orthis paper that I wrote wrong.
You know, with this essay thatI did or this paper that I wrote
(09:29):
, you know, and as a a personwho writes books or even a movie
, if people don't come, you wantto have that critics, even
though we hate them, but youwant to have that person that
says what they didn't like.
Is it, is it a personal opinion, or is it really okay?
What you put out there wasn'tyour best, and maybe this is how
(09:51):
you could have done itdifferently.
Tim (09:54):
So, yeah, I, I, I like that , that approach and that mindset
a lot.
You know, I'm somebody thatthat number one asks a lot of
questions.
So, um, you know again, why.
Why are you doing it this way,whatever it is?
Would you consider doing it adifferent way?
Why, or why not, have you triedit other ways?
And this is what you've settledon, or this is what you have
(10:15):
found works for you, and fromthat standpoint, that's when we
can really start to help people,you know, as opposed to, like
you said, just coming in andsaying no, no, no, no, no, do it
this way.
Because you know, again, I comefrom the, from a sport
background, and take golf, forexample, how many different ways
are there to swing a golf club,right?
I mean, if, if there was onlyone correct way, right, nobody
(10:40):
would be better than anybodyplaying golf.
Vicki (10:43):
Yeah.
Tim (10:44):
Right, I told my husband.
Vicki (10:46):
I tried golf and I still probably will play with it a
little bit more.
But I said, god, there's somuch to remember.
You're just swinging this, butthere's so much to remember.
Tim (11:01):
And it's okay to do things differently Because again,
number one we're all different.
We all process informationdifferent, we all communicate
differently.
We all have different strengthsin how we communicate and how
we perceive things, both fromthe coaching perspective and the
(11:31):
student or client perspectiveto ask questions and come to
some understanding of why andhow things are done the way that
they're done and be good andgreat at those things.
Vicki (11:38):
Doing them differently.
Tie in public speaking tosports or even singing, where
you don't the first time yousing a note, the first time you
swing a bat or swing a golf club, shoot a basket, it's not going
to be great, it, unless you'rejust uber uber gifted.
(11:59):
But, um, generally peoplearen't.
And so it's that practice, it'sdoing it over trying a
(12:24):
different way.
You know, do it, the better itbecomes, because now it's more
natural and you find things thatin your voice, in your tone, in
your speed, that work best andthat's the way that you'll do it
.
So, again, as you said, it'sindividual, but you cannot
(12:44):
expect that the first time thatyou do anything you'll be an
expert at it.
One of the ideas is that, justlike a chapter in a book, in
chapter one we only know alittle bit, we're only a little
bit understanding what's goingon, but by the time you get to
chapter 20, you know a whole lotmore.
(13:05):
Well, why should I expect toact like I'm in chapter 20 when
I'm just in chapter one?
Tim (13:11):
Exactly, Exactly.
And you see this and I broughtthis up again to my daughter- a
couple weeks ago.
It's kind of like if you take ababy right and think about a
baby rolling over and it doesn'tjust happen, right, I mean,
(13:36):
they work at it, they work at it, you may help them and they
start to figure it out, and thenthey can roll over, and then
they try and crawl and they'retrying to figure that out, and
then they can roll over, andthen they try and crawl and
they're trying to figure thatout, and then they can crawl,
and then they try and stand up,then they can walk.
So it's not just as simple, asyou know.
Like you said, do it one time.
(13:57):
It takes practice and we seethat from infancy, all the way
up through what we're doing here, really until you die, we're
learning and trying differentthings and practicing different
things our entire lifespan.
Vicki (14:13):
Yeah, and you have to, and that's what makes life
interesting, right?
Tim (14:17):
Exactly, exactly, and you know we've talked about the need
for young people, youngprofessionals, you know to
improve their communicationskills and you do really good
work with young people in thisarea.
What are some areas that you'reseeing across the board that
need improvement, and you knowwhat are some of your successes
(14:38):
in that area.
Vicki (14:41):
Well, obviously one of the areas that I try to work a
lot with and I work with youthfrom 9 to 17, and then the 20s
to the 30s-year-olds as well,but especially with the younger
generations that are socomfortable with technology
they've picked it up as babiesand so they're so used to being
(15:11):
not looking at you and thatdirect engagement is tough, and
so I love to teach both onlineand in person, because online
they are so used to I don't haveto look at you, I'm just
(15:31):
talking down here, it's fine.
I'm looking, it's no, youdisengaged us now and when, when
you look away, it's almost atrust and sincerity thing.
If you can't look at me whenyou're saying something, are you
really being honest, truthfulto me?
And so the kids don't reallyassociate that.
(15:52):
So that's one of the thingsthat I try to teach them is it's
okay to look at us and you willget.
The more you do it, just likeanything, the more comfortable
you'll get.
So that's one of the thingshaving that direct contact.
And then, whenever I teach howto speak in person or online,
(16:12):
I'm also teaching them how towrite Cool, because there is not
the tone you know, byexplaining to them how, when I
say things, I can say it threedifferent ways and get three
different meanings to the personthat's hearing it, whereas when
you write, it's only one way.
(16:33):
It's going to come out one wayand it may not be the way you
want it to be, and so it's theinterpretation.
So, how you write, you need tomake sure that you read that
back to yourself to make surethat it couldn't be
misinterpreted in any way.
Especially, are not even therea lot of times not exposed in
(16:59):
the classroom to anything but amonotone voice that's keeping
them.
You know they're reading fromsomething.
There's no emphasis, there's noenthusiasm, there's nothing to
engage them, and so they fallasleep in class, right.
Tim (17:15):
Yes, they do so.
Vicki (17:18):
What we try to teach them is how important that
rollercoaster ride that youshould take your voice on is,
and I love, whenever I go intoschools, I actually make the
teachers who are sponsoring myclass go through my course, my
(17:38):
class go through my course, sothat they understand the value
and the benefit of what I'mteaching the kids, but they also
can reinforce it in theclassroom.
And one particular teacher I'veworked now since 2011,.
So over 10 years with thatperson and the difference in
their teaching style isremarkable remarkable and I know
(18:01):
it's because that they wentthrough that course and they saw
the difference.
That's the thing that isimpactful, even in the
individual.
You see the difference in justmaking small changes in how you
communicate can make an impactin your success, in your
persuasive abilities, yourmotivation abilities, and to
(18:27):
just see the difference in theconfidence these students have,
as well as the adults that youteach.
I tell a story about a class, amanagement class, that I went in
and one of the people on myteam was a young 20-something
(18:49):
and he had been a supervisor forabout a month or two and they
decided well, we need a manager.
The manager left, we're goingto move him.
So he had two months of being asupervisor, so going from a
field person to a supervisor,and now he's a manager.
And it just so happened he wasterrified of public speaking.
(19:12):
Terrified of public speaking.
And to graduate from our courseand to get the full promotion,
he had to just do a three-minutetalk on sports, weather or news
.
And we went through three weeksin this class, off-site, away
(19:32):
from our families, and everytime we had to do a presentation
from our team, he would berunning to the bathroom.
And so the night before we wereto do our final course, where
he had to speak, I talked to theteacher and I said this kid
(19:54):
gets sick, physically ill, atthe thought of having to talk to
this class.
Is there anything that you cando?
Because when we talkindividually with him, he has
such great ideas, has such greatheart.
He'll make a wonderful manager.
But this is going to be astopping block for him.
And so he said I got this.
(20:14):
And so he said I got this.
And the next day, whenever wegot into class, as we always did
, we networked and chattedaround until class officially
starts.
And so there was a footballgame the night before, and so
the teacher went up to him andhe said say Roy, hey Roy, did
you see the game last night?
(20:34):
And he said oh my God, it wasso great.
And he talked about the player,his favorite player, and the
plays that were made and howgreat the game was.
And he was animated and he waseven funny and it was like a
different person.
Where did this guy come from,you know?
And at the end of the threeminutes of him spouting about
this, the teacher said Roy,thanks, you just gave your
(20:58):
sports talk.
If you could have seen the faithon this gentleman of just such
pride that he did it, that hedidn't die, he didn't throw up,
he could do this.
The recognition that he coulddo this changed my life.
And so when I teach the kidsand they have to do their first
(21:21):
speech or adults three minutesor four minutes long, I help
them to just see that they canget through it, that they can do
this.
And once they do that, thenthey know okay, do this, I can
make, I can make it.
And that's the difference.
(21:41):
You just have to build theirunderstanding that you know that
they can do it.
And he just had a conversation,that's all he thought he was
doing.
He didn't think he was giving apresentation.
Tim (21:54):
He was just chatting, having a talk as if he was at
the bar with this guy Right andthe difference that I mean again
, the pressure that he wasputting on himself to be
something that he made uphimself, and that's it gives me
(22:14):
kind of goosebumps to hear thatstory, just from the fact that,
wow, he I mean from hisperspective he did it without
even knowing that.
He did it and did a good job ofit, and what doors that's going
to open for him.
You know, being 20 some yearsold, I mean being able to do
that opens all kinds of doors.
Vicki (22:35):
Yeah, able to do that opens all kinds of doors.
Yeah, and I give a lot ofcredit to the teacher because he
could have just said well, youknow, he's just somebody's not
going to make it, you know.
But luckily he trusted myopinion but also what he saw in
class, you know, as a teacherI'm sure he was wandering around
listening to our individualconversations as we were
(22:58):
preparing for our talks.
So I give him a lot of creditand that's for me, and I never
want to just make an assumptionthat somebody can't be great.
Tim (23:10):
Right, anybody who wants to be good at something, if
they're willing to do the work,if they're willing to put the
time and practice and effortinto it, can get there now.
Yeah, you may not ever bemichael jordan, you may not ever
(23:31):
be tiger woods, but you're, youcan be good enough to, to do
what you need, what needs to bedone, to be able to express your
ideas, to be able to getpromotions, to be able to have
conversations with significantothers, to be able to have
meaningful dialogue with people.
You disagree with.
That we have on a regular basisand happen if we're willing to
(23:58):
put the work in and practice andideas.
You know, put those ideas intopractice.
Vicki (24:04):
Yeah, for sure, just believe in yourself, exactly.
Tim (24:10):
And you know, the other piece with this story that
really kind of resonated with meis the whole idea that you know
you said that if you talk tohim individually, kid was smart,
had great ideas, you know,motivated all these other things
.
Understand that you can be allthose things, but if you can't
(24:34):
communicate it to people, if youcan't, you could have the best
idea on the team, the best ideaon the team, but if you can't
communicate it, maybe the worstidea is going to be the one that
gets communicated and that'sthe one that they're going to go
with, because somebody could,could communicate that and
that's so important, especiallyfrom a from a business or
management or leadershipperspective perspectives.
(24:56):
Those people that cancommunicate well, those are the
ones that get promoted, thoseare the ideas that get moved
forward.
Vicki (25:05):
Yeah, the loudest voice in the room.
I remember that was one of thethings that was sort of like an
epiphany for me when I got mydegree, because I didn't go to
college until I was 45, 46.
And so I got my degree at 50.
And whenever I finally had thatpiece of paper, that
(25:29):
acknowledgement, but those fourand I did my degree online at
University of Phoenix, on theroad, I was on the road most of
the time and I just saw how allof my life experiences really
were valuable to me and that Iwas.
You know, I did very well incollege and so that whenever I
(25:53):
went into now a meeting at thecorporate office with others
that had all the degrees, themaster's, the PhDs, the
experience, I was more confidentand it's like well, louder
voice, more confident, would sayexactly what I was thinking.
But they were heard, they wererecognized and I was just that
(26:25):
quiet person in the back.
How many of you are that quietperson in the back that are
letting life pass you by becauseyou don't have a voice?
It's important.
Tim (26:40):
I mean, the majority of people are introverts, right,
yeah, and so, especially, youknow, when we get in these types
of situations, if we have alittle bit of doubt in ourselves
, or if we're not necessarilysure how we want to communicate
things, that takes over and wehave to have ways, and we have
(27:06):
to have techniques or cues tosnap out of it to be able to
share our thoughts and ideas.
And we can't let that innertalk or that inner monologue,
you know, stop us for from fromdoing those types of things.
And we don't have to be anexpert to do that, it's, it's
just speaking up and you know,here's my thoughts, here's my
(27:27):
ideas, and and then go fromthere.
We'd have to be the jump up anddown, you know, pat people on
the back there.
It's so much more um nuancedthan that the back.
Vicki (27:41):
there.
It's so much more um nuance thanthat.
You know, yeah, and and you haveto understand too that
especially, you know, if you'rein a brainstorming session, you
may not have the full picture,but you may have insights and
ideas that are part of thepicture that aren't being said,
or things perspective that's notbeing shared.
That would perhaps change thedirection of the way things are
going and allow others to take adifferent viewpoint and
(28:06):
therefore be much more valuable.
And I always, when I was afacilitator in the corporate
world, I would make sure that Ialways said there are no stupid
questions and you know I won'thave all the answers either, but
you need to at least share whatyou're thinking so that we can
(28:28):
ponder it, think about it, youknow, wrap it around a few times
to see is there some value orbenefit for us to pursuing this
further, and that way you don'tfeel like, oh well, I'm shut
down, nobody's going to acceptthis, and you know, if it isn't
accepted, that's fine, becausewe learn from our failures.
(28:51):
We also learn from ideas thatperhaps aren't the best idea at
that time at that place.
Tim (28:58):
Exactly, exactly, and it takes work, it takes practice.
That's that's.
That's you know, I, I, I comeback to that a lot and you know
and that's something that I dothink that as coaches, we do
(29:20):
have to be upfront with ourclients.
This is not a fix itautomatically.
Yes, we can improve and we canimprove quickly and
incrementally, but it takes work, it takes practice and you have
to do it.
I mean, you have to actually dothe work and and I think
sometimes you know I fall intothis trap sometimes too yeah, if
(29:44):
you, you know, as I'm coachingor I'm teaching students or what
have you, yeah, just go aheadand do these things, make eye
contact.
All you have to do is make eyecontact, just just do it, just
make eye contact and move on.
And then I've got to say take,just make eye contact and move
on.
And then I've got to take astep back and say, okay, let's
practice making purposeful eyecontact.
You know, when you're gettingto a certain phrase or you're
(30:07):
getting to a certain part inthis talk, make sure, let's make
sure that you're makingpurposeful eye contact.
Vicki (30:25):
You know, and doing that and showing them techniques on
how to do that and having themwalk through it and doing those
types of exercises.
Yeah, I always remind peoplethat your face is part of your,
your gesturing, that thosefacial expressions can be very,
very important and, and you know, I think sometimes we shy away
from being expressive because wewant to appear just so
professional and astute andsmart and it's like but you're
(30:48):
not natural.
You know, if you're talkingabout something that's heartfelt
or, you know, compassionate orwhatever you should, or funny,
you should smile.
You should be absolutelycomfortable smiling.
I always say that there's somegreat photos out there that are
so complimentary of me becauseof the expressions that I use.
(31:09):
But they're me, you know, andit is what it is.
Tim (31:14):
Right, I've been accused of having too much resting bitch
face.
That's why I laughed.
When you said that, I laughed.
I said that's.
I said it's just pretty much myface.
I've been accused of having toomuch resting bitch face.
Vicki (31:24):
That's why I laughed.
When you said that, I laughed.
I said that's just pretty muchmy face.
I mean there's nothing I can doabout it.
That's just me four years infront of people.
And then finally one of theguys on my team said you know,
vicki, now for this year you'redistrict director, you're going
(31:44):
to be out there and people aregoing to take pictures all the
time, so you need to smile a lot, smile a lot.
And so it's interesting,because I became so aware of it
and I thought, oh God, did Ismell?
But now in podcasting I seemyself all the time and it
becomes very comfortable andvery natural.
I thought if I could have justhad a monitor in front of me
(32:07):
that showed my face.
Oh wait, that's.
That wasn't the rightexpression to have, or smile,
but it's funny, it is.
It is an art.
Tim (32:17):
Yeah, and.
And so you know, when talkingabout being live on camera, how
can we really engage or connectwith our audience virtually?
You know, again, I tell thisstory a lot Six or seven months
ago, I couldn't take a selfie,even though I've been teaching
online.
But I do still strugglesometimes looking at the camera.
(32:37):
But I couldn't take a selfiebecause I never know where to
look Right, and my, my, my, mything was well, I'm not taking a
selfie because that's not whatmen do, right, but but?
But that was my excuse for notdoing it.
But.
But now doing these and doingsome of these, you know, you
know shorter.
You know short reels and thosetypes of things to talk about.
You know reels and those typesof things to talk about,
(33:01):
coaching and those types ofthings.
I've had to start doing it andagain, I'm practicing getting
better at it.
But how can we really engage orconnect with our audience
virtually?
Because it's hard.
Vicki (33:11):
It's hard.
Yeah, I have a checklist ofdifferent things to do to be
more engaging on camera and oneof them is the eye contact piece
and I you can have used thelaptop camera and and be able to
stare at it, but it's kind oflike a little bit up if you look
(33:32):
at and so that makes your eyesnot really engaging.
And then if you have your as alaptop and you're looking down,
well, that kind of isn't you'relooking at that red dot.
Vicki told me to look at thered dot but it's not engaging.
So I do recommend that you know, if you're going to be doing
this, that you, even if you'rein a remote working I would get
(33:55):
the Logitech or one of thoseremote cameras, that is,
external cameras, and I havemine on a stand.
That's a telescoping, so I canhave it at the right size, the
right height for me.
But I tell people, stick apicture of your favorite
relative, your kid, your dog,you know a funny moment, so that
(34:20):
you just stare at that picture.
And some originally I think theperson that was describing this
to us said you just put an eyethere.
Well then I look stupid.
I'm not going to look at thateye.
But if I have a picture of, youknow, my grandboys, I'm going
to smile, I'm going to be happyto engage and look at them the
(34:40):
whole time.
The other thing is you have totrain yourself to not care what
else is going on on the screenand and I think you know, we
think, well, I'm not engaging ifI'm not looking at you but I am
looking at you.
I'm not looking at you but I amlooking at you, and so you just
get comfortable talking to thecamera.
(35:00):
It's just what people intelevision had to learn to do as
well.
You know, just pretend thatyou're talking to somebody that
you love, you know that's there,and be engaging the whole time.
There are times where I have toread, and so if you do have to
disengage to look down and thenback up, you know, just do it
(35:21):
subtly, but you again, everytime you do look down, you do
disengage.
So you want to try your best tojust look at that camera and it
takes practice, just like golf,and you just have to just keep
on doing it.
But again, to make it as easyas possible, the external camera
(35:44):
.
I think with that picture above, it is a great way to get
started.
Tim (35:48):
Yes, it is.
I've got an external camera andit's a little high for today
because I'm on a standing desk.
Vicki (36:00):
um, no, so am I, but I'm sitting I'm sitting too, and
that's the other.
Tim (36:05):
That's the other good piece is is you.
Vicki (36:06):
You have that ability to to get it in a in a good
position um, yeah, that's why Ilove the telescopic, and it was
like 20 bucks or something that.
But, um, I can put it atwhatever size I want.
You know, if I take it, I takeit on the road with me and I
might be only using my laptopand not having my nice big
(36:27):
screen in front of me.
So then I've got a telescope, adown to be at the right height
for my where I'm sitting, and,and you know the different
chairs that you get in thedifferent locations- yes.
So that's why, before I got thecamera, I had a box assortment
by my desk.
Well, this is the box that Ineed for this desk, for this
(36:49):
laptop, but you know, this iswhat I need for this.
And so I would raise my laptopand it might be a box in a book
or whatever, but just so that mylittle dot would be hitting,
because you always want to have,like your camera, be in thirds
and and right now, just like youwere saying, I am a little bit
high, but I can adjust my cameradown a little bit to be lower
(37:14):
so that you're at the third andyou can.
Can't do that on your laptop,right?
You?
Tim (37:18):
can't.
Vicki (37:19):
You know you can move it back and forth, but you just
want to have your third.
Your third and your chest wouldbe your other third, so that
you're nicely centered.
Tim (37:29):
What other types of things can we do to improve that
virtual presence in meetings?
You know, before we came onlive we talked about my lighting
and some of the things that Ineed to improve.
But what are some things thatyou know like the general public
can do, because you knowthey're not set up with some of
(37:50):
the things like we have?
How can they make sure thatthey're being perceived
professionally and improve theirpresentation?
Vicki (37:59):
that they're being perceived professionally and
improve their presentation.
I always recommend, you know,before I get on a podcast with
anybody, I try to make sure ifthey're my guest, I want them in
the best lighting, the bestexperience for the audience.
And so if they don't have aring light, they're just using
the natural light of the window,which can be great.
(38:23):
If you have a full Sunday andthere's no clouds, it can be the
best lighting ever.
But generally you don't havethat and if the clouds come in,
the shadows come with it.
So that's not great.
But you can just take a regularlamp, table lamp, take off the
shade, just put it in front ofyou, so behind your monitor or
(38:46):
your laptop, so that the lightis coming straight on to you,
and then that's the bestlighting.
You can see the rig light alittle bit in my face.
I always keep powder.
This is my third podcastalready today, so I haven't
powdered myself.
But you can just keep powderand that will take those shiny
things away.
(39:06):
But I have a ring light and anAmazon three position lighting
and that's all you need.
I have no lighting in the side.
I do have windows off to theside that I have blinds on and
then I have, behind my littledivider thing, I have a full
(39:27):
size window, a picture window Iguess, and I have shades closed
completely because the lightwill come through the little
slats and then have like littlelines in me, and that's not good
either.
So you just have to be aware.
So you don't want backlighting,you don't really want overhead
lighting, because the overheadlighting will give you dark
(39:47):
shadows and no person that Iknow wants dark shadows, to look
like a squirrel or a raccoon.
So definitely don't want that.
But lighting is importantbecause you want to see the
person's, especially eyes andmouth.
Guys, we don't talk aboutmakeup too much with you, but
(40:08):
it's really kind of why peopleon television have makeup on,
even if you're a man, becausedoing something with your lips
makes it more distinct, so thatas you're speaking, people are
focusing on that.
Your eyes, you know, I havemascara, eyeliner color so that
it makes my eyes pop.
(40:29):
If you don't use makeup, if youdon't do anything, it kind of
washes you out a little bit.
So then you just need to makesure that whatever your
background is, is that your facestands out.
You have a black backgroundwhich makes your face stand out
a little bit better than alighter would do.
So you definitely want to putthe person in the best light.
(40:51):
And the other thing to be moreengaging is the sound.
If you have poor sound, thenthe people will disengage
immediately.
So I used just regular, youknow, the corded earbuds for
probably a year and a half.
It worked fine, the sound wasfine.
(41:13):
But when it, as I got to bemore professional, I did invest
in a Samsung microphone and gotgreat compliments on this.
But it is one that, if I decideto go to the next level, I can
quickly turn this into from aUSB to a panel and all the fancy
(41:37):
schmancy stuff.
But I don't have to.
You know it all works fine.
So you want to make sure peoplecan hear you, can see you, and
that the image that you have isgood.
And the final thing is Internet.
And if you have poor Internet,no matter how great your camera
(41:57):
is, your sound, your lighting,it's a problem.
I had in my podcast that I justdid previous.
It's a beautiful sunny day herein Atlanta and my power went
out momentarily like a flash.
So I lost camera, didn't loseconnection, thank you Jesus, I
didn't lose connection, but Ihad.
(42:17):
I didn't lose connection but Ihad to pause everything and make
sure we picked up where we leftoff, type of thing.
But you know I I don't wheneverI have a podcast, that's when
I'm going to be traveling.
I test as soon as I get thereand I'll cancel or reschedule a
(42:38):
podcast if the Internet's notstable, because it's not fair to
that person that I'minterviewing.
If my connection, theirconnection may be fantastic, but
if my connection is bad, thenit's just not fair to them.
So I want the again the bestexperience.
Tim (42:56):
Internet is something, recently, for me, that drives me
nuts.
It's 2024, it's almost 2025.
And you know the other podcaststhat I do.
It's golf related and you know,four or five times a year we go
live on site.
So, like at tournaments, we'reactually live on site, you know.
So we're actually in-personinterviewing winners, like you
(43:21):
know.
So we're we're actually inperson interviewing um winners,
uh, sponsors.
You know the whole deal, youknow.
So we travel there, I pack upall the gear and we go there,
and internet is awful and and soso we.
I mean, we lose out.
We lose out big time because wecan't even just recording, like
like here, everything recordsto the.
Because we can't even justrecording, like here, everything
records to the cloud.
We can't even internet, so bad,we can't even get it up into
(43:44):
the cloud, you know and thatthat that that hurts us on any
number of different levels,obviously financially, because
you know we put out money, youknow, for the travel.
Vicki (43:57):
Yeah.
Tim (43:58):
And now we're not going to be able to get that message out,
we'll be able to shareeverything that we did.
Vicki (44:04):
Yeah.
Yeah, I always take my hotspotwith me as a backup, but even
sometimes that is not strongenough if it's a really remote
area, when my brother-in-law hasa lake house and the lake house
didn't have any internet, so Icould only use my hotspot, and
(44:28):
so if I was going to be at thelake then I wouldn't do podcasts
, just for the simple fact thatif it was a cloudy day then my
hotspot might not be so greatand that wouldn't be good.
So, yeah, you have to considerthat.
I always ask and I know a lotof the podcasts that they go on.
They ask well, what kind ofinternet do you have?
Because, again, they're justtrying to make sure that the
(44:50):
experience of the audience is agood one.
Tim (44:53):
Right, and I'm sure that there's technical reasons for it
, but most places don't havewired internet anymore anyway,
and so we're kind of at themercy of the strength of the
wireless signal.
Vicki (45:28):
I have boosters.
I have three boosters just tomake sure that the signals,
because not only with thepodcasting, but I have streaming
TVs who would have thought weand all those other things
streaming?
And so I have to have powerfulsignal and almost every room of
my house has a TV.
Tim (45:45):
I'm a full-time RVer, I've got three TVs in a 42-foot bus
and I don't even watch TV.
Let's put it this way I watchvery little TV.
I mean I can't walk 10 stepswithout seeing a TV, and it's
nuts.
I mean it's crazy and that'show we are right.
(46:08):
Oh, it's got to have a TV here.
Oh, there's a space for a TV.
We've got to put one there.
Vicki (46:12):
There's got to be one outside too.
Tim (46:14):
Oh my goodness, and the internet better work outside,
for when I'm sitting outside.
Vicki (46:18):
That's right when you're watching that golf game.
Tim (46:21):
Exactly so, vicki.
Is there anything that wedidn't discuss that you think is
important for our listeners toknow?
Vicki (46:29):
Yeah, I think one of the things that we didn't talk about
fully but was mentioned subtly,I guess, guess is you just have
to have fun.
You know, I think people juststress so much uh, you know,
even to do like tiktoks andthings like that, it's like, oh,
(46:49):
you gotta redo it 50 times.
No, the best ones aren't theones that they totally screw up.
I mean, some of the the dancemoves are obviously better.
I'm telling you, it's justbecause it's showing you're
human and also it's letting thataudience know, hey, you could
do this too.
Look at, this person did it,you could do it.
(47:10):
But I think we forget to havefun and that's what it should be
all about.
Whenever I got into doingpodcasting it was actually just
as a I did a project forToastmasters on a mock one and I
had so much fun.
But then in COVID, during COVID, I had people that were shut in
(47:33):
, obviously, and they wereelderly and I knew they were
alone and I thought, well, thiswould be good.
I remembered growing up thatevery weekend I would spend time
with my grandmothers and I'd goup to my dad's mom and my
sister and I would clean houseand then we would sit and have
tea and she'd tell us stories asshe was having a shot in a beer
(47:54):
.
Tim (47:57):
That's awesome.
Vicki (47:58):
But she would tell us stories, and it was such a great
time and I thought, you know,this is what I need to do with
these older people that arelonely and don't have anyone,
and so I would do just littleinterviews like this with them
and just ask them about theirlife and their stories.
And they had such great storiesand I thought, well, you know,
(48:20):
this is what I should do, and soeventually I'm going to have
another podcast.
It's just a second podcast,it's going to be.
It's just a conversation withVicki, and I'm just going to
interview people that have coolbackgrounds.
You know, they lived a life andthey think that it was just a
life, but then they have theseawesome stories of the things
(48:42):
that they did, the people theymet, the places they went that I
think others would be enjoyingas well hearing.
Tim (48:49):
Yeah, that would be good because, again, you know, one is
getting people to tell theirstory and and they may think
it's just a normal thing, butother people would say, wow,
that's absolutely amazing.
Yeah, to be able to haveexperienced some of the things
that you experience.
Vicki (49:06):
Yeah, it's great.
One of the services that Ioffer is, like I'll do five
podcasts or five interviews withyou and record an AI transcript
and I'll give it to you.
You could write a book there itis, it's all there.
I'll bring it out in you, outof you, and and you've got your
book, get a good editor.
So that's a service I offer,yeah.
Tim (49:31):
That's a great idea.
That is, I'm speechless.
That's, that's a really goodidea.
Vicki (49:37):
Yeah, because people they can tell you their stories.
They can talk.
If you ask them to write it,they're like I'm speechless.
That's a really good idea.
Yeah, because people they cantell you their stories.
Tim (49:40):
They can talk they can.
Vicki (49:40):
If you ask them to write it, they're like I can't write,
I can't do that.
Tim (49:45):
Exactly.
Vicki (49:46):
Just tell me your whole story.
I just spent two hours with you.
You told me all about your life.
I was totally intrigued,totally enraptured.
Tim (49:59):
Yes, this is a book that people would want to hear?
Vicki (50:00):
Absolutely, they would.
Yeah, and I think some peoplehope too that they have to do
War and Peace or something youcan do a little teeny.
You know I have publisherfriends that will do small
pocket books or whatever.
But it's your story, it's yourlegacy.
Tim (50:12):
Yes.
Vicki (50:13):
It's something for you and your kids.
Yeah, you and your kids.
Tim (50:17):
Yeah, you know, in the other podcasts I do, in June I
interviewed somebody.
He was referred to me by afriend who was a he's a former
PGA Tour player but played inthe 70s, and he told his he
(50:38):
wrote a book about telling hislife on PGA Tour and PGA Tour
players in the 70s are verydifferent than they are now.
The whole industry is different.
And he told stories aboutmeeting Jack Nicklaus as a kid,
meeting these other famousgolfers.
You know growing up and doingthese amazing things, you know
(51:00):
driving all over Florida.
And he actually met and almostdated Vanna White when Vanna
White was a she was a, I don'twant to say it wrong, but maybe
she was a cashier at a grocerystore and somebody gave him her
number to hopefully hook him upas a date.
(51:23):
Just some of the craziest thingsthat are just normal, that
normal people go through everyday.
People want to hear aboutPeople, want to hear about other
people's stories, but that's areally good service.
So, just so you know, next timeI hear somebody say I want to
write a story about my life, I'mgoing to send them to you.
(51:46):
That'd be awesome man.
So where can people find youand work with you?
Vicki (51:53):
So you can connect with me by going to my website, which
isfindyourleadershipconfidencecom.
If you want to be on my podcast, you can just click on be a
guest, be my guest and fill outan application, and you can also
just go to my website and doslash schedule.
You can email me atfirstinitiallastname or you can
(52:17):
vickinetling.
So either one at gmail, sofirst initial last name at gmail
, or vickinetling at gmailcom.
Let me know what you'd like towork on.
Definitely check out my youtubechannel, which is my name,
vicki netling, and it has over460 podcasts out there.
I've got 500 plus recorded, sothere's more to come, but
(52:42):
definitely you can find me onFacebook, victoria Nethling.
You can find me on LinkedIn,vicki Nethling.
You can find me on Instagram.
You can find me on YouTube.
You can find me on Pinterest.
I'm all around.
Just search my name, you'llfind me.
Tim (53:04):
That's awesome and I'll put those links in the show notes
for everybody.
But, vicki, thank you so muchfor spending some time with us.
Vicki (53:09):
It's really good catching up with you and we'll talk to
you soon.
Awesome Thanks, Tim, so much.
Tim (53:13):
All right.
Be sure to visitspeakingwithconfidencepodcastcom
to join our growing communityand register for the Foreman for
Public Speaking course.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change the world.
We'll talk to you next time,Take care.
Popular Podcasts
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com