Turning Misunderstandings Into Magic | Tim Newman Speaks

Send us a text

Have you ever wondered if miscommunication might actually help you become a more engaging and memorable communicator? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I explore a surprising twist on a familiar idea: sometimes, leaving a little room for confusion or ambiguity can actually boost curiosity, spark discussion, and fuel unforgettable moments—on stage, online, and even in negotiation.

I'm Tim Newman, your host—a recovering college professor turned communication coach—and I’ve spent over 80 episodes talking about the power of clear communication. But today, I flip the script and dive into why miscommunication isn’t always the enemy it’s made out to be. From viral memes and comedy to business leadership and marketing, I share the latest research and real-world examples of how a bit of strategic ambiguity can capture attention, create energy, and invite others to actively engage with your message.

No guest joins me for this episode, but I take you on a journey through some fascinating insights from communication scholars, comedians, media analysts, and strategists. I unpack how, across a variety of settings, purposeful ambiguity can spark engagement, inspire creativity, and keep people talking long after the conversation ends.

Here’s what I cover in this episode:

• Why the gap between what’s said and what’s meant is the secret behind viral memes, comedy punchlines, and successful negotiations.
• Research showing that a little uncertainty or open-endedness can actually draw people in and hold their attention—sometimes much more than a perfectly explained message.
• How memes like “Distracted Boyfriend” and “Woman Yelling at Cat” harness ambiguity to invite endless audience participation and creativity.
• The role of strategic ambiguity in business, leadership, and marketing—for example, how broad or aspirational language attracts more candidates and participants by letting them see themselves in the picture.
• How comedians turn miscommunication into laughs by intentionally leading audiences down the “wrong path” before delivering the twist.
• The importance of timing, empathy, and precision when using ambiguity—whether you’re crafting a brand campaign, negotiating, or writing a killer joke.
• The line between clever ambiguity and harmful confusion—where to draw boundaries to make sure your message is effective and respectful.
• Practical tips to experiment with curiosity gaps and partial premises in your own speaking and writing, while always putting your audience first.

If you want to make your communication more engaging and memorable—or just want to understand why the most viral moments are often the least perfectly polished—this episode offers a new perspective on why “less clarity” might, at times, be more powerful.

Be sure to grab your free eBook, The Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and How to Overcome Them, at speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com, and check out my Formula for Public Speaking groups. And remember: your voice has the power to change the world. Catch you next time!

Support the show

Want to be a guest on Speaking With Confidence? Send Tim Newman a message on PodMatch
Speaking With Confidence
Formula for Public Speaking
Facebook

Episode Transcript

Tim Newman (00:09):
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, the
podcast that helps you build thesoft skills that lead to real
results Communication,storytelling, public speaking
and showing up with confidencein every conversation that
counts.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide you on your
journey to becoming a powerfulcommunicator.
For 81 episodes I have talkedabout the importance of clear

(00:30):
communication, but what if Itold you that miscommunication
isn't always the enemy, thatit's actually the fuel behind
viral memes, comedy routines andeven tough negotiations.
Research and comedy expertsnote that many of the most
effective jokes hinge on theaudience briefly misinterpreting
the setup before the reveal,and that small gap in

(00:52):
understanding is what makes thepunchline land.
We've all been told thatclarity is everything,
especially in professionalsettings, where miscommunication
is treated as a problem toeliminate.
And while that advice has itsplace, not all miscommunication
is harmless.
If it is handled carelessly, itcan backfire or even cause
offense.
But when used with intention,leaving just enough room for

(01:16):
your interpretation can work inyour favor.
Comedians play with timing,negotiators protect their
leverage, and you can use it too.
The question is how this worksin practice, because sometimes
the smallest bit of confusioncan command massive attention.
In today's attention economy,some of the most viral moments
don't come from perfectlypolished content at all.

(01:37):
They come from short, ambiguousclips or images that leave
people asking what exactly isgoing on here.
It's that unanswered questionthat creates a sense of
curiosity holding attentionlonger than a fully explained
post ever.
Could Media analysts point outthat the same effect drives
viral memes and much of theso-called debunking turn online,

(01:59):
where posts that lack contextor appear misleading spark waves
of commentary, fact-checkingand re-sharing.
It's the very structure ofambiguity that fuels this
interaction.
Meme culture thrives on thisopen space.
Take popular image formats likeDistracted Boyfriend or Woman
Yelling at Cat by themselves.

(02:20):
They don't provide captions orinstructions.
Instead, they invite audiencesto project their own
interpretations, remix themendlessly and pass them along.
And this really ties intoepisode 80, where I talk about
where people get stories from.
Research and media analystssuggest that when content
remains partially specified,people are more likely to

(02:42):
contribute their own meaning,whether that's writing captions,
debating explanations or usingthe template in creative new
contexts.
That participatory loop is whatkeeps these memes in
circulation far longer thancontent whose meaning is locked
down right from the start.
This same principle appears instrategy Marketing.

(03:03):
Research notes that brandssometimes post playful or
open-ended messages not toclarify but to provoke
discussion, and when a postleaves room for multiple
interpretations, audiences fillin the blanks, tag friends and
effectively co-create theconversation around the brand.
Analysts highlight cases wheredeliberately ambiguous or
provocative campaigns drewsignificant attention precisely

(03:27):
because they resisted tidyexplanations, transforming
followers into activeparticipants and comedy operates
on very similar mechanics.
Researchers in humor andcommunication explain that many
jokes hinge on misunderstanding.
The setup steers the audiencetoward one interpretation, only

(03:52):
for the punchline to revealanother.
It's that sudden shift, therealization you guessed wrong,
is what produces the laugh.
If everything were perfectlytransparent from the start,
there would be no surprise torelease, and studies on
curiosity and what scholars callepistemic emotions support this
Partial information, whether itsparks surprise, confusion or

(04:15):
puzzlement, nudges us toinvestigate and stay engaged.
In other words, ambiguity isnot just tolerated, it drives an
exploration and creates energy.
And while it explains why memesspread and jokes land, the same
logic turns out to beincredibly useful in situations
that carry much higher stakes Inbusiness.
Leaders and organizations oftenturn to what communication
scholars call strategicambiguity.

(04:37):
Rather than laying out everydetail in concrete terms, they
frame goals or roles in waysthat leave room for
interpretation.
Research and organizationalcommunication shows that this
can be powerful.
Vague, value-forward languageoften attracts different kinds
of participants because itallows people to imagine
themselves as a fit.

(04:58):
In hiring, for example, insteadof specifying line-by-line
technical requirements,companies sometimes emphasize
qualities like creativity oradaptability and, according to
Eisenberg's work on ambiguity asa strategy, this deliberate
openness helps align broadgroups of people around shared
values without locking theorganization into one rigid

(05:19):
definition of success.
A negotiation operates on asimilar principle.
Linkedin's research into commonmissteps in negotiations
highlights ambiguous phrasessuch as we'll need this soon can
frustrate communication if leftunmanaged, but those same
phrases can also be usedpurposely to keep timelines

(05:40):
flexible and to maintainleverage.
Negotiators who avoidovercommitting too early
preserve room to maneuver whilestill signaling urgency.
The difference lies in whetherambiguity is employed
haphazardly or strategically.
Marketing strategies point outthat aspirational language works
in much the same way.
Open-ended slogans andcampaigns that suggest ideas

(06:05):
without nailing them down giveaudiences the space to
personalize the message andcontent.
Experts studying the attentioneconomy argue that phrases like
innovative, transformative orrevolutionary capture attention
precisely because they resiststrict definitions.
Rather than limitinginterpretation, they invite
participation, allowing eachaudience member to attach their

(06:31):
own significance.
Leaders also talk about thecone of possibility.
This approach starts with broad, flexible directives that can
adapt to shifting circumstanceswhile steadily nearing toward
specific goals.
Research on uncertainty andstrategy suggests this method
encourages more creativesolutions.
By not dictating the path inadvance, managers open space for
innovation that might otherwisebe shut down by rigid

(06:53):
instructions.
And ambiguity isn't confinedonly to organizational life.
In fact, understanding how itcan shape perception, create
tension and hold attention iscrucial to fields far beyond
business or leadership.
Some professions usemisunderstanding not as an
obstacle but as a central tool,turning the risk of

(07:14):
misinterpretation into adeliberate technique for impact.
Comedy shows howmisunderstanding can be
sharpened into a craft.
Watch any top comedian andyou'll notice they don't just
throw out punchlines, theycreate moments of confusion on
purpose.
When an audience brieflybelieves one premise, only to
have it overturned, theresulting surprise drives the

(07:36):
laugh.
Industry writers andpractitioners point out that our
brains light up at the shiftbecause humor often lands not
when things make sense, but whenthey are misread and then
reframed.
A classic example of this isfrom Abbott and Costello with
their who's on First routinesitcoms provide some of the
clearest evidence.

(07:56):
Observers in the comedy writingcommunity note that
misunderstanding is one of theoldest and most reliable engines
for situational humor.
Characters in shows likefriends or the release of
recognition.
Classic figures like CharlieChaplin or Rowan Atkinson's Mr

(08:24):
Bean built entire acts onsimilar principles, playing with
physical cues that suggest oneoutcome before subverting it
with another.
Timing plays a huge role, andboth performers and researchers
agree on its importance.
Com stretch the set-up so theaudience leans into one
assumption, then deliver thetwist at just the right beat.

(08:46):
Pauses and precision of wordingas essential tools Each helps
to guide misinterpretation justfar enough for the revelation to
feel sharp without crossinginto confusion.
That breaks the joke completely.

(09:07):
There's also the matter ofmemory.
Recent communication researchon confusion and frustration
shows that unresolved momentscan prompt deeper engagement
because the audience worksharder to make sense of what's
unfinished.
That's why a paradoxical lineor half-answered setup can echo
in someone's mind long after theshow ends, and by leaving small

(09:29):
gaps open, comedians increasethe odds that lines are
remembered, repeated and retold.
Improvizers and sketchwritersuse the same playbook.
Rather than fixing themisunderstanding, they allow it
to grow, fueling an escalation.
Analysts of hit comedy sketchesconsistently note that the
funniest moments are often builtnot on clever wordplay alone,

(09:52):
but on shared misreadings thatspin further out of control.
And all of this shows thatmisunderstanding, handled with
precision, isn't an accident atall.
It's a deliberate strategy.
And as we pull the lens backfrom comedy, the broader point
becomes clear how we usemiscommunication can determine
whether it undermines a messageor makes it unforgettable.

(10:15):
Strategic miscommunication isn'tcareless.
It's intentional, and skilledcommunicators know when to leave
space that draws people in andwhen to lock down the details.
But it does come with limits,as communication scholars like
John Tomlinson note.
Ambiguity that relies onstereotypes or targets protected
groups can cause real harm,with consequences that extend

(10:38):
far beyond a failed joke orcampaign.
If you want to test thisapproach, research on confusion
and ambiguity suggests a simplerule Open with a curiosity gap
or partial premise to sparkengagement, then resolve it when
appropriate, while alwaysrespecting your audience's norms
.
Remember we're looking forprogress, not perfection.

(11:02):
That's all for today.
Be sure to visitspeakingwithconfidencepodcastcom
to get your free ebook the Top21 Challenges for Public
Speakers and how to Overcomethem.
You can also register for theFormula for Public Speaking
group.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change the world.
We'll talk to you next time,take care.