September 12, 2022 • 29 mins
Being face with the same scenarios repeatedly (off leash dogs in on-leash areas, "don't worry he's friendly", and the dirty looks or snide remarks when you ask them to leash their dogs), leave us frustrated and angry. Over time we grow increasingly tired of the same barriers and obstacles that we face while trying to help our dogs with their reactivity, we may find ourselves growing quite reactive ourselves... Or maybe it's just me.
The question is, am I more reactive than my dog? There have been situations that Rey has actually been impressively calm and handled it beautifully meanwhile I'm in full rage mode and it takes me a few moments, hours, a rant and glass of wine later for my hackles to come down.
When you are frustrated, fearful or just anxious, it's okay to have a reaction (just likes it okay if our dogs react - we just have to help them). So I also had to work on my own reactivity in order to better help my dog! To be calm in situations where she needed me to guide her.
I'm sure many can relate to the many scenarios I describe in this episodes as these encounters are FAR too common.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey Friends and welcome back tothe Spicy Dog Mama Podcast. I'm
Cass, your host and I'm dog momto my girl Rey, a reactive bully
breed who is dog selective andleash reactive. She's a very
friendly girl, but does not lovechaos, or off-leash dogs
invading her space. Being awareof her needs and the situations
that she does best in, I findmyself becoming increasingly
(00:23):
frustrated when I try to dowhat's best for her and other
people work against me by notobeying leash laws. I think we
can all relate to this verywell, after coming across the
same obstacle time and timeagain, repeatedly yelling to
leash their dog and being metwith "Don't worry, they're
friendly." We've grown tired andangry. My behavior during these
(00:47):
instances, has me wondering, 'AmI more reactive than my dog?'.
I'm going to take you through afew scenarios. (Too many, if you
asked me) Where I was put insituations that simply should
not have occurred, you willlikely feel my rage. Or maybe
thinking I'm crazy, but I don'tthink I'm alone in this! But
(01:07):
also how I really had to workhard on my own reactivity in
these situations in order tohelp my dogs overcome theirs.
Pay attention because I starttalking pretty fast in this one.
(01:28):
My first experience with areactive dog was not with my
rescue Reese, that was just whenI actually knew what reactivity
was. I realized that I've had somany encounters with reactive
dogs. When I was a kid, we hadour shitzu Charlie, we adopted a
husky that was abused, I don'treally remember him. And I used
to dog sit a lot. There were twoYorkies who would lose their
(01:53):
minds at the sight of other dogsor people. And I just thought it
was small dog syndrome. Andthere were two separate
GSD/Corgi mixes- adorable dogs-who were very reactive, one of
them was a bite risk. And I justthought that maybe it was breed
traits, or that they were justan untrained dog. But these are
just a few of the dogs that I'veencountered.
(02:14):
Not having that knowledge aboutwhat reactivity is, where it
stems from, how to help thedogs, I just assumed that it was
them. And it led me to befrustrated with the dogs or
embarrassed, trying to avoidsituations or fleeing situations
just because I felt that I hadtroubled dogs. It wasn't until
(02:37):
Reese that I truly understoodreactivity and knew what it was
called. And also when thatreactivity is coming from a
rescue dog with a traumaticpast, it made more sense to me.
Of course, I also now know thatit's not just rescues or dogs
that have been abused. It's not'the other end of the leash' or
'all in how you raise them'. Itcan be the puppies, it can be a
(02:59):
dog that you don't even know whyit's reactive, but it can be
genetics, no matter where itcomes from dealing with your
dog's reactivity is a difficultprocess and involves hard work
and patience. And oftentimesrunning in the opposite
direction to avoid triggers.
Having a reactive dog makestasks such as walking around the
(03:20):
block or going to the vet verystressful. You may avoid walks
altogether or do walks when therest of the world is still
sleeping. First, I want to saythat I applaud the work that
you're doing and the effort thatyou're putting in to take care
of your reactive dog. You'redoing such a great job. I know
it's frustrating. I know it'shard. Without the understanding
of reactivity and only beingwith those dogs either as a
(03:41):
child who didn't know anydifferent, or for short side
jobs. Again, I was justembarrassed of their behaviors
and avoided their triggers sonot to cause a scene. Getting
Reese, knowing how fearful andlacking confidence he was, I
knew he needed help; that itisn't his fault.
And even though I was stilloften embarrassed when he or Rey
would react, I was and am morefocused on what they need and
(04:03):
how to help them. How a lot ofpeople out there need to help
us. Refer to my episode MyLetter to the Friendly Dog. But
the entire way that I viewedreactivity changed once I got
Reese and I realized that theyweren't just a bad dog. It
wasn't just small dogs syndrome,it was reactivity, and you need
to help those dogs. So bringingReese home, my fearful,
(04:26):
reactive, bully mix dog, openedmy eyes to the reality of
reactivity. And it also broughtout the reactivity in me. Having
Reese, knowing his past,bringing home a bully mix- I
knew the looks that we weregoing to get. I knew that when
he reacted towards a person or adog what the strangers might be
thinking. I wanted to doeverything in my power to show
(04:49):
him in a different light, or toat least proclaim that he's a
rescue that he's afraid, he'snot a bad dog. He's just scared
but I also knew the risks.
Reese has already bitten my ex'sdog, I knew that if he was put
into that situation, he couldbite. So I was very careful
about where I took Reese, ofcourse, not going to off leash
(05:11):
areas, avoiding any place that adog might come off leash, but
that limited so many of ourwalks. We couldn't go to the on
leash trails, because so many ofthem you will still find off
leash dogs. And out of both fearand frustration I started being
very reactive. Like many of us,when you're walking your
(05:31):
reactive dog, or just trainingyour dog, and an off leash dog
comes towards you, you arelikely yelling at them to get
their dog on a leash. And thereis a right and a wrong way to do
it, I guess. The issue is the"right way" is not very
effective. You can sit therewith your dog and politely say,
(05:53):
"it would be really great if youcould leash your dog, my dog is
not comfortable". But even whenyou're screaming at them out of
fear to leash their dog, you'renot often met with "oh my
goodness, I'm so sorry. Pleaselet me do that for you". You are
sometimes. But far too often,you're met with "my dogs
friendly, don't worry about it".
Or people even getting upsetwith us that our dogs should not
(06:14):
be there if they're notfriendly. In an off leash trail
where we previously had controlThe other issue is, sometimes
it's hard to sit there with yourof our dogs.
dog quietly because your dog isalready reacting. And now
there's so much going on, it'shard to calmly ask somebody to
leash their off leash dog, whenyou have every scenario running
through your head of how thiscould go wrong. So that was
(06:36):
definitely me. Even if I waswalking Reese on leash, and
there were on leash dogs that Icould tell that they did not
have control over, they were ona flexi lead and clearly we're
about to enter my space, I wouldagain be very reactive and
telling them absolutely not, donot come near me, do not come
near my dog.
There's actually anotherscenario that I was dog sitting,
(06:58):
he was an absolutely beautifulbully breed. His name was Tiggs;
I adored this dog and I took himto the Bedford waterfront which
is an on leash area, and we arewalking him and this is one of
the most well behaved dogs I'veever met. As we're getting
around to the condos. Somebodygets out of their car and their
small little Maltese dog booksit towards us, I put Tiggs into
(07:22):
a sit. This dog is barrelingtowards us and all of a sudden
the other owner is screaming atme to get my dog away from her
dog. First off, I can't, if Imove in any direction, their dog
was following. Their little dogwas circling us. And I was
getting a little nervous. Thoughthis dog was really well
behaved. I didn't actually knowhow it might do with an
(07:44):
encounter. So I was trying toput space between the dogs, use
myself as a barrier. Tiggs wasan angel, he was an absolute
dream, and she is stillscreaming, mind you not making
any effort to retrieve her dogbut just screaming at us to get
that dog away from her dog. Theway that she used 'that dog'.
(08:05):
Now that set me off. I was therewith my sister and her and I who
were previously just like, youknow, get your dog lady. When
she said "get that dog away frommy dog". Oh, we went off. Our
dog is sitting here. Our dog isdoing perfectly fine. Get your
dog away. This is an on-leasharea, we have every right to be
here. Control your dog. Herhusband comes around and starts
(08:28):
saying like "I'm so sorry, herdog has been attacked. She's
nervous". Well, if your dog haspreviously been attacked, maybe
don't let it run up to otherdogs. But also don't you dare
for a second look at my dog andthen start freaking out. My dog
who is sitting there perfectlyfine, and then start screaming
at me to control my dog. Thatwas a very confusing situation.
(08:50):
We got through it. Everythingwas totally fine. Tiggs in that
situation was not the reactivedog. He was an absolute dream.
But that was probably my firsttime yelling at another dog
owner. I also mentioned this inthe Letter to the Friendly Dog
Owner, when I was walking Reesein the same spot, which is
actually a wonderful area totake your dogs when training. I
(09:12):
know many people in the area dogo there because it's an on
leash area. And there aredifferent areas with kids,
there's dogs, you can get space.
It's a great place to go andtrain. But funny enough, I had
another situation there thatI've brought up before where I'm
walking Reese who, hisreactivity when I first got him
was so bad and we have come sofar. But we came around a corner
and there was this lady walkingher dog. And all of a sudden
(09:35):
Reese did burst and I quicklywas able to regain his
attention. Have him look at me,and when he looked at me I
rewarded him and then this ladysays to us, you don't reward bad
behavior. And at that point Iactually didn't say anything.
But my friends they went off onher and that is what happens
when you are trying to take careof your dog, you know their
(09:56):
story, you know why they behavethe way that they do. You get
very protective. You'reprotective of your dog no matter
if they have reactivity, butreactivity really brings
something out in you.
I'll go back to when Reese bitmy ex's dog. It was his first
time biting a dog. We set him upfor failure. We did everything
(10:17):
wrong in that situation. WhenReese grabbed onto Riley, he did
not actually break the skin. Buthe was holding on to Riley and
he wasn't letting go. And I wasscreaming. Understandably, I was
very upset. I did not know thiswas gonna happen. The way that
he had Riley, I didn't know thedamage he was causing. I was
absolutely screaming, bawling myeyes out. I lost control. I was
(10:39):
not calm. I don't blame myselffor that behavior. But it
certainly didn't help anything.
I knew that my behavior was notgoing to be helpful for Reese. I
believe that the energy that Iput out is what Reese is going
to feel. If I'm feeling calm, ifI'm feeling nervous, if I'm
excited, whatever it is, I dothink that Reese would feel that
so I knew in those situations,if I'm screaming or if I'm
(11:02):
feeling nervous about a dog hevery well could feel those
things too.
I had to learn how to not reactlike that when I see another
dog. I have to think happythoughts pretty much tell myself
this is gonna be okay. Oh look,there's a dog I love dogs. Dogs
are so great. Probably a fake ittill you make it kind of
(11:25):
feeling. But even after that I'mjust distracting myself with
those thoughts and then puttingmyself into a position where I
can reward Reese as well. So Iwas crossing the street with
Reese. We weren't in a positionto pass dogs on the sidewalk. We
didn't get there. I wasn'tliving in an apartment. I was in
my house. And we were able tocross the street. We were able
to get distance between dogs. Soit was 'you see a dog you take a
(11:45):
deep breath'. I was tellingmyself this is okay. We're doing
great. And I would just giveReese some treat. And he was
coming so far.
And near the end of Reese'slife. He was really thriving. He
was doing so well. I remember wewere going down the street. I
was walking with Reese, my exwas walking with Riley. And as
we're passing this one house, wejust hear the tippy taps. And we
(12:08):
look and there's this EnglishBulldog barreling towards us
down the driveway. His ownersare coming like he got out- it
was a mistake. And they'reyelling, I'm so sorry. I'm so
sorry. And David's first thoughtwas to put Riley between so the
dog will be distracted by Riley.
But of course, he was a veryfriendly dog. But he wanted to
see Reese and I just looked downat Reese. I said, "Alright,
buddy, let's go for a run". AndI started running with Reese.
(12:29):
And he was looking at me forguidance. He was running with
me. We were having a good time.
I would stop the dog would keepcoming. I would just keep on
running with Reese. He wasfocused on me. And I remained
very calm in my head. It wasjust okay. Well, if we get away
from this dog, we're going to beokay, we're going to be okay.
And that was just it.
Thankfully, that all did reallywork out. And that was probably
(12:50):
the peak of where Reese did sowell. He did not react. He
looked at me. And it was also apretty good spot for me. I
remain very calm. I didn't yellat anybody. I just saw the
situation, took control, ran offwith Reese. And it was perfectly
fine. We came out of that noproblem. Reese wasn't freaked
(13:12):
out at all. It was actually sogood.
Fast forward to dealing withreactivity with Rey. It's a very
different situation when yourdog is actually quite friendly,
(13:34):
but still reactive and alsostill a bully breed. I want to
again, scream to the world "It'snot the breed. It's not anything
to do with that she's a happygirl. She's frustrated. She can
be a little anxious and a littlenervous. But she's good. She's
just we're working throughsomething". I wish more people
understood reactivity. Veryclearly I was also not
(13:55):
understanding of reactivity -Small dog barking clearly is
just a small dog that'suntrained with little dog
syndrome, right? I'm so gladthat I know reactivity now. So I
can offer empathy and support toother people in that situation.
But I still wish that morepeople knew and understood what
we're going through.
But Rey and I have come so far.
We still have setbacks. We havebad days, but for the most part
(14:16):
we can get through a day withoutreactivity. We are able to
manage any run ins with dogs. Ifa dog does come off leash to
her. We don't want to be in thatsituation, but it will normally
be okay. She's just not happywith it. She can get upset. I
know what she can handle. I knowwhat she can't handle. There
have been so many tears andfrustration on our way to get
here and we still have a longway to go. But I wasn't
(14:37):
completely finished with dealingwith my reactivity either
because since Rey is a verydifferent dog, I was taking her
to the trails that I previouslyavoided with Reese. I still go
to on leash trails, but Iactually stopped doing that
altogether with Reese. We didnot go to the trails around our
house because they were in thewoods and people use them as off
leash parks.
(14:58):
But I did take Rey there and Iwas actually walking Rey and
Riley there. And at one point,we had this off leash Border
Collie. I saw him from a littlebit and I said, "Please leash
your dog". And he responded with"Don't worry, he's friendly:.
And though at the time Rey was alittle bit reactive there, she
was very protective of Riley.
But Riley was also an 85 pounddog who was very hyper, he was
(15:19):
my biggest struggle. I have thisBorder Collie, basically trying
to herd us. He's running circlesaround me, I have Riley who's
trying to engage in play. Andthen Rey who's trying to get
space between Riley and thisdog. I'm spinning around with
two dogs. And this man is stillnot grabbing his dog or
recalling his dog, his dog hasno recall, you pull out the
(15:40):
secret weapon. "My dog's notfriendly".
You want them to understand theseverity of the situation,
though, I knew that Rey wasn'tgoing to bite or anything. That
situation still sucked. It wasawful and just grab your dog!
Also just feel bad for me. Eventhough my dogs are both two very
friendly dogs. I'm clearlystruggling to control them. I
(16:01):
stopped walking them togetherafter that but help me out! Grab
your dog, please relieve me ofthis burden. And he just didn't.
And I was very angry. I said,"this is an on leash area. I
come here to take my dogs onleash because I know we're safe.
You have to leash your dog". Andhe's like, "Oh, my dog's
friendly". And I said, "Okay,but what if mine's not what if
mine tried to bite" and he said,"Oh, well, he would just run
(16:22):
away". He's putting his dog insuch a bad situation. And I
really hope that nothing badhappens to that dog. Because he
had no recall, he did notlisten. And he came flying in at
two dogs that he did not knowand came within their space that
if one of my dogs wanted to bitehim, they would have bit him.
I was walking with just Rey atthe same trail and I came across
(16:43):
the same dog. And as soon as hesaw me, he went to leash his
dog, but it was too late. Hisdog had already taken off like a
rocket and I screamed at himthis time "leash your dog, get
your dog away from me". At thispoint, I would say Rey is
probably feeling my frustration,she had gotten a little worse
with her reactivity as well. Idid not want that dog in her
(17:04):
space. I'm trying to train herto just to be calm. I'm trying
to teach her that dogs aren'tscary, that you don't have to
react that you can just remaincalm. It's really hard to do
that when you have off leashdogs coming towards you. Even if
she does wants to play withthem. I'm training my dog here.
I don't want dogs coming intoher space. He did not have any
remarks for me. When we passedthat time. I was just like, are
(17:25):
you serious? Leash your dog. Andhe leashed his dog and he kept
moving.
It's those situations that,especially if it's in public,
and if there are witnesses, ifmy dog were to bite, I'm not
really at fault there. It's anon leash area. He broke the
bylaw. My dog bit, but I'mcovered. But that is so not the
point. Even though legally, it'stheir fault. They're the ones
(17:48):
who caused the situation, Iwould have still had a dog who
bit, I don't want that. I don'twant my dog in that situation
where they felt that they had todo that. So it's not even about
who's at fault. That's notsomething that I want to have
happen. And unfortunately, it'scrossed my mind and like it's
going to take that happening forsome people like the Border
Collie owner, to stop puttingthe dog in that situation. Two
(18:10):
times I ran into him that he hadno control over his dog and his
dog just took off. What's itgoing to take for him to
actually leash his dog? Does hisdog have to actually get
attacked? And that's the lastthing that I want to have happen
to that dog, but he's not takingcare of his dog in those
situations either.
So with Rey, I'm still workingon my reactivity because I'm
(18:30):
still scanning every which waylooking for dogs and people. I'm
gripping the leash when I seeanother dog coming towards us,
heart pounding, justanticipating Rey having a
reaction, it has been hard tobreak these habits, I'm still
faking it till I make it tryingto let Rey make her own
decisions, not put tension onthe leash, I'm going to do what
it takes to advocate for my dog.
So telling an owner to leashtheir dog when they're coming
(18:53):
off leash, I'm still going to dothat. But it's about the
emotions behind it. I'm tryingnot to be panicked or anxious,
not nearly as high strung as Iused to be, I will still be
yelling at them leash your dog,while I'm maintaining a calm
composure, making sure that Reyis doing okay.
And still I offer grace to theowners (the first time) because
(19:17):
people do not know aboutreactivity, they are
frustratingly oblivious to thefact that there's dogs out there
who are not as social as theirs.
It's okay to have been thatowner. It was also me but now
advocating for my dog also meanseducating other people. And
that's what we're all trying todo. We've all been trying to do
it for a long time. There arestill people out there. So we
still have to yell at the offleash dogs coming towards us.
(19:38):
We're still quite reactive. Ninetimes out of ten when you ask
somebody to recall their dog, itdoesn't work. So instead I put
my attention on Rey and figureout how to help her in that
situation. Get her attention onme, try to leave a situation, I
will just remain completelysilent, I might hold my breath.
But my focus is on Rey orputting space between Rey and
the other dog putting my footout between them.
(20:00):
The biggest scenario thatbrought up my original post Am I
More Reactive Than My Dog, wasthis situation. It has trumped
every situation that hashappened before and since. So
I'm going to bring it up again.
We were away and we took our twodogs. It was an absolutely
beautiful on leash trail. We hadboth of our dogs leash, it was
very quiet, it was almostcompletely perfect. You can
(20:22):
guess what happened? Way, way,way off, we see a person and we
see two dogs, definitely not onleash, we prepare ourselves for
what will likely be a stressfulencounter. I have Rey who is
reactive. And my friend Courtneyhas Susie, who was a very lovely
girl. But also the biggest issuehere was us. It was the humans,
(20:42):
we got super anxious before ourdogs even realize what the
situation was. But we still hadhope. And that moment we had
hoped that they would see us andleash their dogs. But that
didn't happen. As soon as thedogs saw us, they started coming
towards us. She maintains herrelaxed pace. She's not making
any effort.
(21:03):
One of them we think was aMalamute dog, quite old, and the
other was a very young GermanShepherd. But he seemed a little
timid, his hackles were raised,which made us immediately
nervous. We are now calling outlike, "Are they friendly?", no
response. I took a few stepsback to put some space between
Rey and Susie because Rey can beprotective around other dogs
(21:26):
especially if they're herfriends. So Courtney maintains
her route with Susie, the olderdog comes up and sniff Susie,
but then walks away. The GSD isnow bouncing towards her. She's
trying to stay calm and walkaway. He's following her. We
called out to get her dogs back.
And she calls out to them veryquietly, and obviously neither
of them paid any attention.
(21:47):
The older dog approached me withRey and I kept the leash as
loose as possible because thisdog was very slow. I kept
praising her. We kept movingforward, the older dog sniffed
her from head to toe and Reykept her ears pinned back, just
focused on moving forward. Theyounger dog was now bouncing
towards us, which made me verynervous because Rey does not
like the bouncy, puppy, playful,energy. I beg the owner to call
(22:12):
her dogs. Rey was actually socalm. Despite everything was
happening. Her eyes are reallyon Susie, that's who she wanted
to get to. She wanted to leavethe situation. I try to keep
moving. The Malamute has movedon.
But the GSD is bouncing circlesaround us. I said "please get
your dog", still trying to keepcalm but now she's making me
(22:34):
feel a little frustrated. Ifirmly said "can you please call
your dog?" She says to me,"Well, I can call them but they
won't come". So I responded.
"Then can you train your dog?" Itold her that Rey is afraid of
strange dogs. And her onlyresponse was "well, mine
aren't." Oh, okay. I'm gettingfrustrated just talking about
(22:55):
it. I said, "but mine is" shelooks me dead in the eyes and
says, "Well, I've lived herelonger than you." And at that I
was filled with rage. The bouncyGSD continues around us, my
heart's racing. But I wasn'tgoing to win with this lady. So
my focus had to be solely onRey. Her tail was tucked right
between her legs. Her ears werestill pinned back. But her
(23:17):
hackles weren't up. She wasn'tmaking a single noise. She was
focused on getting away from thesituation, she was focused on
Susie, she just wanted to getout of here.
Once the dogs were gone, it wasquiet. We were able to move on,
we let out the biggest sigh offrustration. We were so
completely frustrated. We had toshake that off. We counted this
(23:38):
as a win because our two dogsdid amazing. Rey of the past
would have been losing her mind.
And I also would have beenlosing my mind. I'd have been
screaming out in fear and anger,not having a clue how to handle
the situation. But as we keptwalking and our hearts are just
pounding, our faces are flushed.
We we can't shake it off aseasily as our dogs did. And
(24:00):
that's when we made the joke.
Are we more reactive than ourdogs? Our dogs who remained
completely calm and we had ourhackles up and we were lashing
out. I think that it is totallyreasonable that you might panic
in that situation. You can beangry, you can react, there's no
shame in that. I have beenworking so so hard on how I
behave because I know that myreactions just don't help the
(24:21):
situation.
It's one thing to ask somebodyto leash their dog. It's another
thing to be screaming andpanicking. That's not going to
help Rey. My entire goal is tokeep Rey calm, to know that she
can trust me, rely on me andhave confidence in me to make
sure that she's safe and toreward her when she makes those
amazing choices like she did. Myreactivity is not limited to me
(24:42):
walking another reactive dog.
When I had Riley my super goofy,friendly golden, who was
overexcited and hyper all thetime and I was trying to train
him to be a calm boy and good insociety. I was also reactive
with other dogs coming into hisspace when we didn't want them
there because I'm trying totrain him to be calm.
(25:04):
I would walk Rey and Riley onleash together just around the
block. I knew where the dogslived. I knew I could cross the
street, I could avoidsituations. And I'm walking by
this one house. And off in thelawn is this Boston Terrier. And
I'm just praying that it's on along line, or at least it's
gonna stay in the yard. Yeah, itdidn't. It did not stay in the
yard. It comes running at me andRey, and honestly, I'm not too
(25:29):
sure if it's actually friendly.
It was doing circles around ussnapping in my dog's face. Riley
is actually, he didn't likethat. And he was actually trying
to correct it to say get out ofmy space. Rey is being super
protective. I'm getting allkinds of worked up. The guy is
not doing anything. I'm yellingat him, "come get your dog". I'm
struggling helped me out! Mygoodness. He slowly approaches
(25:49):
he's laughing. I'm like, this isnot funny. I'm near tears. I'm
so frustrated. Get your dog.
I'm quite nervous, because nowRiley is getting upset at this
dog, Rey's upset at this dog.
They're kind of upset at eachother because their leashes are
all tangled. And I'm justtelling this guy, you cannot do
that there are leash laws. Andhe's just saying, what are you
(26:10):
going to do? What are you gonnado call the police. It's that
kind of behavior that makes meeven more reactive. Are you
kidding me, that's the kind ofattitude that you're gonna have
right now. I dropped the dogsoff at home, I take a breath. I
get in my car, and I drive backthere by myself. You can read
about this as well, I did writeanother blog post specifically
about this situation, I may begetting the details wrong
(26:30):
talking about it over a yearlater. But I drive back to his
house, he's just looking at me.
I'm a very emotional person, Ido have tears running down my
face. And I'm really embarrassedabout that I want to put on a
tough show. I didn't, I'mcrying. If I had have had my
other dog, he would have bityour dog. And at that point, he
(26:51):
just says "Well, good. Let yourdog bite them." I don't even
understand this man. I'm just sofrustrated. And some people just
have no sympathy. I just don'tget it. And that is what makes
me the most reactive when peopleare entitled and just plain
rude.
The first thing that I'm goingto do right now is to take a
(27:11):
deep breath.
I'm mostly telling myselfbecause reliving what I've been
through and when I continue togo through, it is so frustrating
and I'm sure that you've beenthrough a similar situation and
happens to way too many of usway too often. But again, I
applaud you for what you'redoing and how you're trying to
(27:33):
help your dog. You are doingyour best. Your dog thanks you.
I thank you so much forlistening to this episode,
listening to my rants about whatI've been through. Again, just
trying to relate to you and it'skind of a funny thought to think
'Am I more reactive than mydog?'
Please let me know your thoughtson this episode. I'd love to
hear it on my Instagram. You canfind me @spicydogmama. You can
(27:57):
also send me an emailspicydogmama@gmail.com If you
want to be a guest on the show,or if you just want to send me
your thoughts. As always, likerate review, make sure you're
subscribed or following onwhatever streaming platform that
you are on.
You can also follow Rey onInstagram at her adventures in
progress with reactivity@mylittlepibble. And if you want
(28:21):
to read the episodes instead oflistening to them, you can do so
reesesnpieces.com. And on nextweek's episode I have another
guest interview. I was superexcited to talk with Eddie from
ClassicK9 Academy, a dogtraining facility in Ontario. I
get to hear about about hisstory/ where he started with dog
(28:41):
training. We had such greatconversation I cannot wait for
you to hear it. Have a fantasticweek. You're doing amazing.
Hey Friends and welcome back tothe Spicy Dog Mama Podcast. I'm
Cass, your host and I'm dog momto my girl Rey, a reactive bully
breed who is dog selective andleash reactive. She's a very
friendly girl, but does not lovechaos, or off-leash dogs
invading her space. Being awareof her needs and the situations
that she does best in, I findmyself becoming increasingly
(00:23):
frustrated when I try to dowhat's best for her and other
people work against me by notobeying leash laws. I think we
can all relate to this verywell, after coming across the
same obstacle time and timeagain, repeatedly yelling to
leash their dog and being metwith "Don't worry, they're
friendly." We've grown tired andangry. My behavior during these
(00:47):
instances, has me wondering, 'AmI more reactive than my dog?'.
I'm going to take you through afew scenarios. (Too many, if you
asked me) Where I was put insituations that simply should
not have occurred, you willlikely feel my rage. Or maybe
thinking I'm crazy, but I don'tthink I'm alone in this! But
(01:07):
also how I really had to workhard on my own reactivity in
these situations in order tohelp my dogs overcome theirs.
Pay attention because I starttalking pretty fast in this one.
(01:28):
My first experience with areactive dog was not with my
rescue Reese, that was just whenI actually knew what reactivity
was. I realized that I've had somany encounters with reactive
dogs. When I was a kid, we hadour shitzu Charlie, we adopted a
husky that was abused, I don'treally remember him. And I used
to dog sit a lot. There were twoYorkies who would lose their
(01:53):
minds at the sight of other dogsor people. And I just thought it
was small dog syndrome. Andthere were two separate
GSD/Corgi mixes- adorable dogs-who were very reactive, one of
them was a bite risk. And I justthought that maybe it was breed
traits, or that they were justan untrained dog. But these are
just a few of the dogs that I'veencountered.
(02:14):
Not having that knowledge aboutwhat reactivity is, where it
stems from, how to help thedogs, I just assumed that it was
them. And it led me to befrustrated with the dogs or
embarrassed, trying to avoidsituations or fleeing situations
just because I felt that I hadtroubled dogs. It wasn't until
(02:37):
Reese that I truly understoodreactivity and knew what it was
called. And also when thatreactivity is coming from a
rescue dog with a traumaticpast, it made more sense to me.
Of course, I also now know thatit's not just rescues or dogs
that have been abused. It's not'the other end of the leash' or
'all in how you raise them'. Itcan be the puppies, it can be a
(02:59):
dog that you don't even know whyit's reactive, but it can be
genetics, no matter where itcomes from dealing with your
dog's reactivity is a difficultprocess and involves hard work
and patience. And oftentimesrunning in the opposite
direction to avoid triggers.
Having a reactive dog makestasks such as walking around the
(03:20):
block or going to the vet verystressful. You may avoid walks
altogether or do walks when therest of the world is still
sleeping. First, I want to saythat I applaud the work that
you're doing and the effort thatyou're putting in to take care
of your reactive dog. You'redoing such a great job. I know
it's frustrating. I know it'shard. Without the understanding
of reactivity and only beingwith those dogs either as a
(03:41):
child who didn't know anydifferent, or for short side
jobs. Again, I was justembarrassed of their behaviors
and avoided their triggers sonot to cause a scene. Getting
Reese, knowing how fearful andlacking confidence he was, I
knew he needed help; that itisn't his fault.
And even though I was stilloften embarrassed when he or Rey
would react, I was and am morefocused on what they need and
(04:03):
how to help them. How a lot ofpeople out there need to help
us. Refer to my episode MyLetter to the Friendly Dog. But
the entire way that I viewedreactivity changed once I got
Reese and I realized that theyweren't just a bad dog. It
wasn't just small dogs syndrome,it was reactivity, and you need
to help those dogs. So bringingReese home, my fearful,
(04:26):
reactive, bully mix dog, openedmy eyes to the reality of
reactivity. And it also broughtout the reactivity in me. Having
Reese, knowing his past,bringing home a bully mix- I
knew the looks that we weregoing to get. I knew that when
he reacted towards a person or adog what the strangers might be
thinking. I wanted to doeverything in my power to show
(04:49):
him in a different light, or toat least proclaim that he's a
rescue that he's afraid, he'snot a bad dog. He's just scared
but I also knew the risks.
Reese has already bitten my ex'sdog, I knew that if he was put
into that situation, he couldbite. So I was very careful
about where I took Reese, ofcourse, not going to off leash
(05:11):
areas, avoiding any place that adog might come off leash, but
that limited so many of ourwalks. We couldn't go to the on
leash trails, because so many ofthem you will still find off
leash dogs. And out of both fearand frustration I started being
very reactive. Like many of us,when you're walking your
(05:31):
reactive dog, or just trainingyour dog, and an off leash dog
comes towards you, you arelikely yelling at them to get
their dog on a leash. And thereis a right and a wrong way to do
it, I guess. The issue is the"right way" is not very
effective. You can sit therewith your dog and politely say,
(05:53):
"it would be really great if youcould leash your dog, my dog is
not comfortable". But even whenyou're screaming at them out of
fear to leash their dog, you'renot often met with "oh my
goodness, I'm so sorry. Pleaselet me do that for you". You are
sometimes. But far too often,you're met with "my dogs
friendly, don't worry about it".
Or people even getting upsetwith us that our dogs should not
(06:14):
be there if they're notfriendly. In an off leash trail
where we previously had controlThe other issue is, sometimes
it's hard to sit there with yourof our dogs.
dog quietly because your dog isalready reacting. And now
there's so much going on, it'shard to calmly ask somebody to
leash their off leash dog, whenyou have every scenario running
through your head of how thiscould go wrong. So that was
(06:36):
definitely me. Even if I waswalking Reese on leash, and
there were on leash dogs that Icould tell that they did not
have control over, they were ona flexi lead and clearly we're
about to enter my space, I wouldagain be very reactive and
telling them absolutely not, donot come near me, do not come
near my dog.
There's actually anotherscenario that I was dog sitting,
(06:58):
he was an absolutely beautifulbully breed. His name was Tiggs;
I adored this dog and I took himto the Bedford waterfront which
is an on leash area, and we arewalking him and this is one of
the most well behaved dogs I'veever met. As we're getting
around to the condos. Somebodygets out of their car and their
small little Maltese dog booksit towards us, I put Tiggs into
(07:22):
a sit. This dog is barrelingtowards us and all of a sudden
the other owner is screaming atme to get my dog away from her
dog. First off, I can't, if Imove in any direction, their dog
was following. Their little dogwas circling us. And I was
getting a little nervous. Thoughthis dog was really well
behaved. I didn't actually knowhow it might do with an
(07:44):
encounter. So I was trying toput space between the dogs, use
myself as a barrier. Tiggs wasan angel, he was an absolute
dream, and she is stillscreaming, mind you not making
any effort to retrieve her dogbut just screaming at us to get
that dog away from her dog. Theway that she used 'that dog'.
(08:05):
Now that set me off. I was therewith my sister and her and I who
were previously just like, youknow, get your dog lady. When
she said "get that dog away frommy dog". Oh, we went off. Our
dog is sitting here. Our dog isdoing perfectly fine. Get your
dog away. This is an on-leasharea, we have every right to be
here. Control your dog. Herhusband comes around and starts
(08:28):
saying like "I'm so sorry, herdog has been attacked. She's
nervous". Well, if your dog haspreviously been attacked, maybe
don't let it run up to otherdogs. But also don't you dare
for a second look at my dog andthen start freaking out. My dog
who is sitting there perfectlyfine, and then start screaming
at me to control my dog. Thatwas a very confusing situation.
(08:50):
We got through it. Everythingwas totally fine. Tiggs in that
situation was not the reactivedog. He was an absolute dream.
But that was probably my firsttime yelling at another dog
owner. I also mentioned this inthe Letter to the Friendly Dog
Owner, when I was walking Reesein the same spot, which is
actually a wonderful area totake your dogs when training. I
(09:12):
know many people in the area dogo there because it's an on
leash area. And there aredifferent areas with kids,
there's dogs, you can get space.
It's a great place to go andtrain. But funny enough, I had
another situation there thatI've brought up before where I'm
walking Reese who, hisreactivity when I first got him
was so bad and we have come sofar. But we came around a corner
and there was this lady walkingher dog. And all of a sudden
(09:35):
Reese did burst and I quicklywas able to regain his
attention. Have him look at me,and when he looked at me I
rewarded him and then this ladysays to us, you don't reward bad
behavior. And at that point Iactually didn't say anything.
But my friends they went off onher and that is what happens
when you are trying to take careof your dog, you know their
(09:56):
story, you know why they behavethe way that they do. You get
very protective. You'reprotective of your dog no matter
if they have reactivity, butreactivity really brings
something out in you.
I'll go back to when Reese bitmy ex's dog. It was his first
time biting a dog. We set him upfor failure. We did everything
(10:17):
wrong in that situation. WhenReese grabbed onto Riley, he did
not actually break the skin. Buthe was holding on to Riley and
he wasn't letting go. And I wasscreaming. Understandably, I was
very upset. I did not know thiswas gonna happen. The way that
he had Riley, I didn't know thedamage he was causing. I was
absolutely screaming, bawling myeyes out. I lost control. I was
(10:39):
not calm. I don't blame myselffor that behavior. But it
certainly didn't help anything.
I knew that my behavior was notgoing to be helpful for Reese. I
believe that the energy that Iput out is what Reese is going
to feel. If I'm feeling calm, ifI'm feeling nervous, if I'm
excited, whatever it is, I dothink that Reese would feel that
so I knew in those situations,if I'm screaming or if I'm
(11:02):
feeling nervous about a dog hevery well could feel those
things too.
I had to learn how to not reactlike that when I see another
dog. I have to think happythoughts pretty much tell myself
this is gonna be okay. Oh look,there's a dog I love dogs. Dogs
are so great. Probably a fake ittill you make it kind of
(11:25):
feeling. But even after that I'mjust distracting myself with
those thoughts and then puttingmyself into a position where I
can reward Reese as well. So Iwas crossing the street with
Reese. We weren't in a positionto pass dogs on the sidewalk. We
didn't get there. I wasn'tliving in an apartment. I was in
my house. And we were able tocross the street. We were able
to get distance between dogs. Soit was 'you see a dog you take a
(11:45):
deep breath'. I was tellingmyself this is okay. We're doing
great. And I would just giveReese some treat. And he was
coming so far.
And near the end of Reese'slife. He was really thriving. He
was doing so well. I remember wewere going down the street. I
was walking with Reese, my exwas walking with Riley. And as
we're passing this one house, wejust hear the tippy taps. And we
(12:08):
look and there's this EnglishBulldog barreling towards us
down the driveway. His ownersare coming like he got out- it
was a mistake. And they'reyelling, I'm so sorry. I'm so
sorry. And David's first thoughtwas to put Riley between so the
dog will be distracted by Riley.
But of course, he was a veryfriendly dog. But he wanted to
see Reese and I just looked downat Reese. I said, "Alright,
buddy, let's go for a run". AndI started running with Reese.
(12:29):
And he was looking at me forguidance. He was running with
me. We were having a good time.
I would stop the dog would keepcoming. I would just keep on
running with Reese. He wasfocused on me. And I remained
very calm in my head. It wasjust okay. Well, if we get away
from this dog, we're going to beokay, we're going to be okay.
And that was just it.
Thankfully, that all did reallywork out. And that was probably
(12:50):
the peak of where Reese did sowell. He did not react. He
looked at me. And it was also apretty good spot for me. I
remain very calm. I didn't yellat anybody. I just saw the
situation, took control, ran offwith Reese. And it was perfectly
fine. We came out of that noproblem. Reese wasn't freaked
(13:12):
out at all. It was actually sogood.
Fast forward to dealing withreactivity with Rey. It's a very
different situation when yourdog is actually quite friendly,
(13:34):
but still reactive and alsostill a bully breed. I want to
again, scream to the world "It'snot the breed. It's not anything
to do with that she's a happygirl. She's frustrated. She can
be a little anxious and a littlenervous. But she's good. She's
just we're working throughsomething". I wish more people
understood reactivity. Veryclearly I was also not
(13:55):
understanding of reactivity -Small dog barking clearly is
just a small dog that'suntrained with little dog
syndrome, right? I'm so gladthat I know reactivity now. So I
can offer empathy and support toother people in that situation.
But I still wish that morepeople knew and understood what
we're going through.
But Rey and I have come so far.
We still have setbacks. We havebad days, but for the most part
(14:16):
we can get through a day withoutreactivity. We are able to
manage any run ins with dogs. Ifa dog does come off leash to
her. We don't want to be in thatsituation, but it will normally
be okay. She's just not happywith it. She can get upset. I
know what she can handle. I knowwhat she can't handle. There
have been so many tears andfrustration on our way to get
here and we still have a longway to go. But I wasn't
(14:37):
completely finished with dealingwith my reactivity either
because since Rey is a verydifferent dog, I was taking her
to the trails that I previouslyavoided with Reese. I still go
to on leash trails, but Iactually stopped doing that
altogether with Reese. We didnot go to the trails around our
house because they were in thewoods and people use them as off
leash parks.
(14:58):
But I did take Rey there and Iwas actually walking Rey and
Riley there. And at one point,we had this off leash Border
Collie. I saw him from a littlebit and I said, "Please leash
your dog". And he responded with"Don't worry, he's friendly:.
And though at the time Rey was alittle bit reactive there, she
was very protective of Riley.
But Riley was also an 85 pounddog who was very hyper, he was
(15:19):
my biggest struggle. I have thisBorder Collie, basically trying
to herd us. He's running circlesaround me, I have Riley who's
trying to engage in play. Andthen Rey who's trying to get
space between Riley and thisdog. I'm spinning around with
two dogs. And this man is stillnot grabbing his dog or
recalling his dog, his dog hasno recall, you pull out the
(15:40):
secret weapon. "My dog's notfriendly".
You want them to understand theseverity of the situation,
though, I knew that Rey wasn'tgoing to bite or anything. That
situation still sucked. It wasawful and just grab your dog!
Also just feel bad for me. Eventhough my dogs are both two very
friendly dogs. I'm clearlystruggling to control them. I
(16:01):
stopped walking them togetherafter that but help me out! Grab
your dog, please relieve me ofthis burden. And he just didn't.
And I was very angry. I said,"this is an on leash area. I
come here to take my dogs onleash because I know we're safe.
You have to leash your dog". Andhe's like, "Oh, my dog's
friendly". And I said, "Okay,but what if mine's not what if
mine tried to bite" and he said,"Oh, well, he would just run
(16:22):
away". He's putting his dog insuch a bad situation. And I
really hope that nothing badhappens to that dog. Because he
had no recall, he did notlisten. And he came flying in at
two dogs that he did not knowand came within their space that
if one of my dogs wanted to bitehim, they would have bit him.
I was walking with just Rey atthe same trail and I came across
(16:43):
the same dog. And as soon as hesaw me, he went to leash his
dog, but it was too late. Hisdog had already taken off like a
rocket and I screamed at himthis time "leash your dog, get
your dog away from me". At thispoint, I would say Rey is
probably feeling my frustration,she had gotten a little worse
with her reactivity as well. Idid not want that dog in her
(17:04):
space. I'm trying to train herto just to be calm. I'm trying
to teach her that dogs aren'tscary, that you don't have to
react that you can just remaincalm. It's really hard to do
that when you have off leashdogs coming towards you. Even if
she does wants to play withthem. I'm training my dog here.
I don't want dogs coming intoher space. He did not have any
remarks for me. When we passedthat time. I was just like, are
(17:25):
you serious? Leash your dog. Andhe leashed his dog and he kept
moving.
It's those situations that,especially if it's in public,
and if there are witnesses, ifmy dog were to bite, I'm not
really at fault there. It's anon leash area. He broke the
bylaw. My dog bit, but I'mcovered. But that is so not the
point. Even though legally, it'stheir fault. They're the ones
(17:48):
who caused the situation, Iwould have still had a dog who
bit, I don't want that. I don'twant my dog in that situation
where they felt that they had todo that. So it's not even about
who's at fault. That's notsomething that I want to have
happen. And unfortunately, it'scrossed my mind and like it's
going to take that happening forsome people like the Border
Collie owner, to stop puttingthe dog in that situation. Two
(18:10):
times I ran into him that he hadno control over his dog and his
dog just took off. What's itgoing to take for him to
actually leash his dog? Does hisdog have to actually get
attacked? And that's the lastthing that I want to have happen
to that dog, but he's not takingcare of his dog in those
situations either.
So with Rey, I'm still workingon my reactivity because I'm
(18:30):
still scanning every which waylooking for dogs and people. I'm
gripping the leash when I seeanother dog coming towards us,
heart pounding, justanticipating Rey having a
reaction, it has been hard tobreak these habits, I'm still
faking it till I make it tryingto let Rey make her own
decisions, not put tension onthe leash, I'm going to do what
it takes to advocate for my dog.
So telling an owner to leashtheir dog when they're coming
(18:53):
off leash, I'm still going to dothat. But it's about the
emotions behind it. I'm tryingnot to be panicked or anxious,
not nearly as high strung as Iused to be, I will still be
yelling at them leash your dog,while I'm maintaining a calm
composure, making sure that Reyis doing okay.
And still I offer grace to theowners (the first time) because
(19:17):
people do not know aboutreactivity, they are
frustratingly oblivious to thefact that there's dogs out there
who are not as social as theirs.
It's okay to have been thatowner. It was also me but now
advocating for my dog also meanseducating other people. And
that's what we're all trying todo. We've all been trying to do
it for a long time. There arestill people out there. So we
still have to yell at the offleash dogs coming towards us.
(19:38):
We're still quite reactive. Ninetimes out of ten when you ask
somebody to recall their dog, itdoesn't work. So instead I put
my attention on Rey and figureout how to help her in that
situation. Get her attention onme, try to leave a situation, I
will just remain completelysilent, I might hold my breath.
But my focus is on Rey orputting space between Rey and
the other dog putting my footout between them.
(20:00):
The biggest scenario thatbrought up my original post Am I
More Reactive Than My Dog, wasthis situation. It has trumped
every situation that hashappened before and since. So
I'm going to bring it up again.
We were away and we took our twodogs. It was an absolutely
beautiful on leash trail. We hadboth of our dogs leash, it was
very quiet, it was almostcompletely perfect. You can
(20:22):
guess what happened? Way, way,way off, we see a person and we
see two dogs, definitely not onleash, we prepare ourselves for
what will likely be a stressfulencounter. I have Rey who is
reactive. And my friend Courtneyhas Susie, who was a very lovely
girl. But also the biggest issuehere was us. It was the humans,
(20:42):
we got super anxious before ourdogs even realize what the
situation was. But we still hadhope. And that moment we had
hoped that they would see us andleash their dogs. But that
didn't happen. As soon as thedogs saw us, they started coming
towards us. She maintains herrelaxed pace. She's not making
any effort.
(21:03):
One of them we think was aMalamute dog, quite old, and the
other was a very young GermanShepherd. But he seemed a little
timid, his hackles were raised,which made us immediately
nervous. We are now calling outlike, "Are they friendly?", no
response. I took a few stepsback to put some space between
Rey and Susie because Rey can beprotective around other dogs
(21:26):
especially if they're herfriends. So Courtney maintains
her route with Susie, the olderdog comes up and sniff Susie,
but then walks away. The GSD isnow bouncing towards her. She's
trying to stay calm and walkaway. He's following her. We
called out to get her dogs back.
And she calls out to them veryquietly, and obviously neither
of them paid any attention.
(21:47):
The older dog approached me withRey and I kept the leash as
loose as possible because thisdog was very slow. I kept
praising her. We kept movingforward, the older dog sniffed
her from head to toe and Reykept her ears pinned back, just
focused on moving forward. Theyounger dog was now bouncing
towards us, which made me verynervous because Rey does not
like the bouncy, puppy, playful,energy. I beg the owner to call
(22:12):
her dogs. Rey was actually socalm. Despite everything was
happening. Her eyes are reallyon Susie, that's who she wanted
to get to. She wanted to leavethe situation. I try to keep
moving. The Malamute has movedon.
But the GSD is bouncing circlesaround us. I said "please get
your dog", still trying to keepcalm but now she's making me
(22:34):
feel a little frustrated. Ifirmly said "can you please call
your dog?" She says to me,"Well, I can call them but they
won't come". So I responded.
"Then can you train your dog?" Itold her that Rey is afraid of
strange dogs. And her onlyresponse was "well, mine
aren't." Oh, okay. I'm gettingfrustrated just talking about
(22:55):
it. I said, "but mine is" shelooks me dead in the eyes and
says, "Well, I've lived herelonger than you." And at that I
was filled with rage. The bouncyGSD continues around us, my
heart's racing. But I wasn'tgoing to win with this lady. So
my focus had to be solely onRey. Her tail was tucked right
between her legs. Her ears werestill pinned back. But her
(23:17):
hackles weren't up. She wasn'tmaking a single noise. She was
focused on getting away from thesituation, she was focused on
Susie, she just wanted to getout of here.
Once the dogs were gone, it wasquiet. We were able to move on,
we let out the biggest sigh offrustration. We were so
completely frustrated. We had toshake that off. We counted this
(23:38):
as a win because our two dogsdid amazing. Rey of the past
would have been losing her mind.
And I also would have beenlosing my mind. I'd have been
screaming out in fear and anger,not having a clue how to handle
the situation. But as we keptwalking and our hearts are just
pounding, our faces are flushed.
We we can't shake it off aseasily as our dogs did. And
(24:00):
that's when we made the joke.
Are we more reactive than ourdogs? Our dogs who remained
completely calm and we had ourhackles up and we were lashing
out. I think that it is totallyreasonable that you might panic
in that situation. You can beangry, you can react, there's no
shame in that. I have beenworking so so hard on how I
behave because I know that myreactions just don't help the
(24:21):
situation.
It's one thing to ask somebodyto leash their dog. It's another
thing to be screaming andpanicking. That's not going to
help Rey. My entire goal is tokeep Rey calm, to know that she
can trust me, rely on me andhave confidence in me to make
sure that she's safe and toreward her when she makes those
amazing choices like she did. Myreactivity is not limited to me
(24:42):
walking another reactive dog.
When I had Riley my super goofy,friendly golden, who was
overexcited and hyper all thetime and I was trying to train
him to be a calm boy and good insociety. I was also reactive
with other dogs coming into hisspace when we didn't want them
there because I'm trying totrain him to be calm.
(25:04):
I would walk Rey and Riley onleash together just around the
block. I knew where the dogslived. I knew I could cross the
street, I could avoidsituations. And I'm walking by
this one house. And off in thelawn is this Boston Terrier. And
I'm just praying that it's on along line, or at least it's
gonna stay in the yard. Yeah, itdidn't. It did not stay in the
yard. It comes running at me andRey, and honestly, I'm not too
(25:29):
sure if it's actually friendly.
It was doing circles around ussnapping in my dog's face. Riley
is actually, he didn't likethat. And he was actually trying
to correct it to say get out ofmy space. Rey is being super
protective. I'm getting allkinds of worked up. The guy is
not doing anything. I'm yellingat him, "come get your dog". I'm
struggling helped me out! Mygoodness. He slowly approaches
(25:49):
he's laughing. I'm like, this isnot funny. I'm near tears. I'm
so frustrated. Get your dog.
I'm quite nervous, because nowRiley is getting upset at this
dog, Rey's upset at this dog.
They're kind of upset at eachother because their leashes are
all tangled. And I'm justtelling this guy, you cannot do
that there are leash laws. Andhe's just saying, what are you
(26:10):
going to do? What are you gonnado call the police. It's that
kind of behavior that makes meeven more reactive. Are you
kidding me, that's the kind ofattitude that you're gonna have
right now. I dropped the dogsoff at home, I take a breath. I
get in my car, and I drive backthere by myself. You can read
about this as well, I did writeanother blog post specifically
about this situation, I may begetting the details wrong
(26:30):
talking about it over a yearlater. But I drive back to his
house, he's just looking at me.
I'm a very emotional person, Ido have tears running down my
face. And I'm really embarrassedabout that I want to put on a
tough show. I didn't, I'mcrying. If I had have had my
other dog, he would have bityour dog. And at that point, he
(26:51):
just says "Well, good. Let yourdog bite them." I don't even
understand this man. I'm just sofrustrated. And some people just
have no sympathy. I just don'tget it. And that is what makes
me the most reactive when peopleare entitled and just plain
rude.
The first thing that I'm goingto do right now is to take a
(27:11):
deep breath.
I'm mostly telling myselfbecause reliving what I've been
through and when I continue togo through, it is so frustrating
and I'm sure that you've beenthrough a similar situation and
happens to way too many of usway too often. But again, I
applaud you for what you'redoing and how you're trying to
(27:33):
help your dog. You are doingyour best. Your dog thanks you.
I thank you so much forlistening to this episode,
listening to my rants about whatI've been through. Again, just
trying to relate to you and it'skind of a funny thought to think
'Am I more reactive than mydog?'
Please let me know your thoughtson this episode. I'd love to
hear it on my Instagram. You canfind me @spicydogmama. You can
(27:57):
also send me an emailspicydogmama@gmail.com If you
want to be a guest on the show,or if you just want to send me
your thoughts. As always, likerate review, make sure you're
subscribed or following onwhatever streaming platform that
you are on.
You can also follow Rey onInstagram at her adventures in
progress with reactivity@mylittlepibble. And if you want
(28:21):
to read the episodes instead oflistening to them, you can do so
reesesnpieces.com. And on nextweek's episode I have another
guest interview. I was superexcited to talk with Eddie from
ClassicK9 Academy, a dogtraining facility in Ontario. I
get to hear about about hisstory/ where he started with dog
(28:41):
training. We had such greatconversation I cannot wait for
you to hear it. Have a fantasticweek. You're doing amazing.
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