August 27, 2025 • 63 mins
"Everyone else has spilt their tea! Why can’t we?" ☕✨
In this special episode, your co-hosts Jules & Sarah turn the spotlight on themselves. Get to know the voices behind Spill the Human as they open up about life, mental health, passions, and philosophy — unfiltered and in depth. 🌿💭
From the little quirks that make them who they are, to the bigger questions that keep them thinking, this is human-tea being spilt in its truest form.
👉 Tune in, rate us, and share us around wherever you get your podcasts.
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Let’s spill it, co-host style. 🍵
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:30):
Music. Hello, humans of the realm, the
world. You tell I've been playing too
much D and. D You're the.
Realm the. Humans of the Realm, welcome to
Spill the Human. And well, we've recorded all
(00:52):
these other episodes, and Sarah and I are like, why haven't we
recorded our own? And that's exactly what we're
here to do today. So welcome to the show.
Welcome to an episode about Sarah and Jules, your Co hosts,
creators of Spill the Human, andwhy we have decided that we want
to spill the human, spill the tea, spill those conversations
(01:13):
out onto the table. Or even just on yourself, like I
did this morning. Yes, that is one of how is this
for a sign guys? So we we we've arrived at our
studio destination for the day and just before I left Sarah
called me and she says US put coffee on me on the way up here.
(01:34):
And I thought, well shit, this is pre emptively exactly what
we're about. It wasn't tea.
But it was. It was.
Spilt. There was something spilt.
A spillage had occurred, which is what it's all about.
These are the things in life that we cannot control.
Someone else is trying to spill something on us.
Yeah. And that is, I guess that might
(01:56):
signal trauma, but let's let's save that long down the track.
No, here, here. It's build a human.
We are all about essentially having those human conversations
with real T real people. And we want to talk to everyone,
people of all walks of life. Yeah, people who work in
(02:18):
different industries, particularly in areas where
there are huge areas of stigma and where we can try and
alleviate and try and educate aswell as share stories and human
voices, real human voices, voices that matter and knowing
that everyone's voice matters and everyone has a story to
(02:40):
tell. And that's where this journey is
hopefully going to take us in a really beautiful, beautiful
direction. Yeah.
I mean, like, we've had guests on, we've heard all their
stories, but we actually haven'treally introduced ourselves.
I mean, like, yeah, we've touched on a little bit about
(03:01):
what I do in the real world and bits and pieces of like what
you're up to at the moment, Jules, with your study.
Yeah. But at the same time, we haven't
actually, you don't even know anything about it.
So just like, Oh yeah, these arejust two peeps that have just
decided to start knowing podcastand have people on and it's just
like who are. They here we are, except of
(03:21):
regardless of how much you know,but that's literally what it's
been. I agree.
That's that's we're, we're just,we're just such cool people.
That's that's all you need to know.
No, at the end of show, No, 3 minutes done.
Yeah, no. Well, you know what?
Let's we just keen to jump straight into it guys, in terms
(03:44):
of who we are and how we live our lives, our backgrounds and
our stories. We would just love to give that
to you today and share that as we would in that sort of
vulnerable space as as much as we can as well.
Do you want to start Sarah? Yes, I will.
(04:05):
So yeah, as you said in one of our past episodes, yeah, I work
at University of Melbourne. I work as an animal technician
and I am a full burnt animal lover.
Full, full bone, full blown animal lover.
Jeez. Oh my God, I, I wish.
(04:27):
I haven't even went with that. I don't even know what I'm
saying anymore. I know plenty of minds that
would have turned that into something very different.
So, you know, we'll move forward.
So yeah, I've got a degree in veterinary and wildlife science
that I did at Federation Uni in Ballarat, and I'm now working at
(04:51):
one of the best unis in Australia, which is insane.
Literally, you are working at the Creme de la Creme.
Yeah, the Hogwarts of arguably the Hogwarts of Australia, I'd
say. But I.
Can say working there compared to probably studying there is 2
completely different things fromwhat I've heard.
(05:13):
I mean, I've never started there, but from what I've heard,
it's clearly different. But yeah, so in saying that, I
have had a few different hobbies, I suppose you can say,
yeah, I, I ride horses. I do this thing called Western
performance horse riding and we dress up like Cowboys.
(05:36):
But it's not rodeo. It's a lot slower than radio.
It's not rodeo, just CNA. But we still look like Cowboys,
which is pretty cool. But it's expensive and I am very
grateful for my parents for allowing me to do that as a
youth and paying for a lot of. It they've facilitated a lot of
happiness. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
(06:01):
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ponies, ponies, yeah.
And I have moved more into as well Wildlife Conservation.
So I have recently done the MissEarth Australia pageant and my
advocacy was Wildlife Conservation so and stamping out
(06:23):
extinction because Australia hasthe highest rate of extinction
in the world, which is gross. That is an alarming statistic
for a place. Oh yeah, that you would not
expect to have that you'd think it would be at front and centre.
Oh. No, there's so many other things
that are in that seem to take precedence.
(06:44):
In some capacity at least, you know.
I guess it's more money if we want to go down that route,
maybe we shouldn't go down the route because that's kind of a,
you know. Hey, everyone's in time with
their opinions. We leave our biases at the door,
but if it needs to come through for a area of passion, it's a
different story. But.
Yeah, that's mainly me. I mean, I oh, I shouldn't.
(07:07):
Yeah, I've also got a nice boyfriend.
His name's Jack, except he doesn't want to be part of the
podcast. Rude.
Jack no, it's understandable. Yeah, yeah.
So that's a little bit about me.What about you, Lynn?
What have? You hello ladies and gentlemen,
I'm I'm I'm Jules. I am currently studying to
(07:34):
become a counsellor or a mental health worker in some capacity.
I currently work at a bowling alley, which I have lots of fun
at and I enjoy very much. We're like a a family down there
where I work. And yeah, I'm very passionate
(07:57):
about film TV, creative outlets.This particular show is sort of
the flow on from the original show that Sarah and I were a
part of called Well, that's justit.
So in terms of, yeah, this is this is sort of a dream, being
(08:18):
able to sort of have that consistency and, and move
forward with something creative.Yeah, I feel like there's
there's I'm trying to, I'm trying to just lean back into
it. I'm, yeah, I'm of a Polish
background. I grew up on the Grand Ocean
Road and yeah, I had the beautiful upbringing of living
(08:43):
in the country, going to school in Geelong, meeting this lovely
lady along the way. And yeah, I think about that
sort of that journey and all theexperiences.
I'm an animal lover to myself. I have a cat.
I had a dog for 16 years. Bless her heart.
(09:04):
She was the most beautiful thing.
And yeah, I think in all the sort of things that I'd love for
everyone to know about myself listening to the show, is that
I'm someone who cares very deeply.
(09:24):
I'm a very empathetic and compassionate person, and you'll
definitely see that in a lot of the conversations that we have
with people that I could even, Idon't want to speak out of out
of assumption, but I can tell that that's something that Sarah
and I absolutely share, that we're very, very eager to listen
(09:44):
to people and to share experiences.
And I think, yeah, there's this lots to look forward to on this
show and these these parts and alot of that character sort of
character building within dynamics is something that will
(10:07):
definitely be at play, which is really, really exciting.
And that's why I think we're going to have people who are not
so familiar to us and some that are more familiar to us joining
us, which is going to be for some really interesting
podcasting and shows as well, which is cool.
But yeah, going back to me, I'm obsessed with Star Wars,
obsessed with Lord of the Rings.I'm just deviate.
(10:27):
I'm going everywhere, guys. I'm, I think it's interesting
doing this from a really authentic perspective.
It can be really hard to talk about yourself well.
I was going to say that like I as I'm.
Realising that now. Yeah, I've done pageants and
that was always, that is always the highest question of tell me
about yourself. Because I'm one person that
like, as much as I love like being up on that stage and
(10:51):
things like that, I also don't like being the centre of
attention. Yeah, it's so hard to just
sometimes just sit down and talkabout yourself.
And like, I don't want to be that person that just keeps
talking on and on about myself and what I do.
But at the same time, you also want to be authentic and you
want people to know. Who you are exactly, exactly.
And I think that's the really going back to that
(11:12):
vulnerability, guys, you know, like, I think I agree with you
when it comes down to those things you don't realise.
Like sometimes you feel like youlove to be in that spotlight,
but sometimes it's, I want to, Iwant to make everybody else feel
what I'm capable of feeling already.
If they can feel seen, heard, and that what they have to say,
(11:33):
feel, do, and that matters and that there's people who are
willing to hear them out. I feel like it's that whole
aspect, don't get me wrong, thatpractise of self love and and
self care is something that I'veit's and life moves so quickly
as well is so, so important though those two things.
(11:54):
And I think that's what it is, being able to talk about
ourselves in a really positive light.
Yeah, I've just, I just acknowledged that literally just
now. I'm just like, wow, OK, but.
It's also like, how much do I want to tell everyone about
myself? Exactly, Exactly.
Like, yeah, you can. I'll tell her on the surface
level, but as soon as you get toknow me a lot more, you realise
(12:15):
how crazy. Not crazy how I guess different,
unique. Unique.
I guess that's putting in a nicer.
Well, you know what? And these are the cool things.
We might be a bit crazy guys, but get used to it.
You're going to enjoy it. And this is the whole part We,
we, we really strive on and as well as want to include and
(12:42):
encourage authenticity because that's, I know that's who we
invite into our lives and who we, we choose to be as well.
And that's following things thatwe believe in, You know, we
believe in, in, in being kind and, and being generous.
And, and yeah, we're grateful for your time to be listening to
us right now. And that vulnerability that
(13:04):
comes with listening to this too, you know, it's, it's very
significant, very, very significant.
Yeah. But I guess, yeah.
Yeah. But I mean, I guess with this
podcast, I think that's one thing that we really want to
make sure we put out there is that we are looking for to be
(13:26):
able to talk to everybody and anybody bring up topics that
might be a little bit taboo withsome people.
Yeah. Or even just, you know, can you
just touch on things that a lot of people don't agree with?
Yeah. What's the word I'm thinking of?
Yeah, I guess the. Word.
(13:48):
I'm thinking of, but I can't getthat.
I can't get it. No, it's OK.
I guess we're trying to sort of navigate a very, very
interesting world at the moment.We're navigating a time that is,
is unprecedented really. There is a lot of division out
in the world, and there's also alot of people who are in need of
(14:10):
a voice and of support and as well as purpose.
I think purpose is something linked to one of the most
important things we'll ever share as human beings is well,
if we can have these conversations and people can be
heard in their own way. And that's sort of a huge
philosophy behind the show, is that we really want to reach out
to that everyday person. As Sarah mentioned, we want to
(14:32):
talk to everybody, and particularly people who feel
misunderstood in their own way as well and might have a
perception of their world not quite completely painted.
Yeah. And fighting this, that stigma
and, and in particular industries as well.
In the past, Sarah and I have worked on a podcast and Sarah's,
(14:54):
as she mentioned, has of course been a part of pageantry for a
long time and and UN UN sort of rolling that reality of what
happens behind the scenes. Yeah, I think that was a big one
because people are so stuck on this like Miss Congeniality or I
(15:14):
guess especially with toddlers and tiaras.
Yes, that's. A big one, but also that's a
reality show. Like there's always going to be
more drama than what there is. Reality.
Reality, yeah, but also, I guess, dramatised.
Dramatised. Yeah, exactly.
(15:34):
I'm not saying that life doesn'thave dramas, but some of the
extent that they have on those, it's just too much.
Like I've been re watching DanceMoms recently and then yeah,
they pop up like on my social media, like the moms and all
that sort of stuff talking abouttheir experiences and they're
(15:55):
like, oh, did you know that thispart, this segment of it all
actually took 4 hours to film every time we did the episode.
And I was like seriously 4 hoursjust for that segment or.
It's a long time. Yeah.
Or there were some things that obviously were blown out of
proportion or, I don't know, like, yeah, just the producers
(16:21):
making it more drama than what it is needs.
To be, yeah. But that's reality TV, so I
can't say it's not good it. Is good.
That's it. It keeps you watching, doesn't
it? Yeah.
It just completely loops you in and keeps you coming back for
more. Yeah, it's doing its job.
Oh yeah. Oh.
(16:41):
Yeah. Yeah.
And I don't know, because I feellike even at the moment, just in
general with TV, there's a lot of same things.
Yeah, being regurgitated, yeah. And even movies, like they're
just bringing out movies, but but having reality TV, it'll I
guess makes you feel like your life isn't that crazy.
(17:03):
Well, that's it. It doesn't make you feel.
It's sort of, Yeah. Makes you step into a completely
different sort of headspace. We think like, So what?
Is this almost normal? Should my life be this chaotic
in order for it to be, like, satisfying?
Yeah. Is the stress that those people
undergo, is it real, or is that just a producer tapping them on
(17:26):
the shoulder tongue to cause the?
Yeah, you need to be more crazy,OK.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.
Simple words. Yeah.
Just yeah. Gold.
Yeah. It's an interesting world we
live in. I feel like I keep thinking
(17:46):
about the rise of maths and I keep thinking about just like, I
mean, of course already today I feel like the whole constitution
of marriage is something that's not what it used to be like
30-40 years ago. It's changed throughout
generations, and now it's, yeah,it's now a reality TV segment
(18:13):
where there's there are all these complete strangers who are
now just willing to get married to a complete stranger.
Have we got guests? Oh.
Sorry, I keep. Or have we got a crowd?
Window and I think there's some teens doing some Tik Toks.
Oh, OK, maybe. Maybe we should.
(18:38):
Oh, no, no. No, we won't do that to them.
I think they realise we're in. Here, to be honest.
Oh, no, no. They know, but they don't know
what we're doing. No, Yeah.
Oh, it's funny. Yeah.
No, it's it's really interesting.
I keep thinking about that wholewhere where do you reckon out?
(19:01):
I know this is sort of divertingaway, but I've been asking
myself this for a while. We know people that we've grown
up with and gone to high school with that have gotten married or
were getting married and stuff like that.
Do you think that that is linkedto something cultural more than
something by like, choice, personal choice?
(19:23):
Do you think that they've had the pressure to get married?
Is it like a time clock? I mean, this is a hard one
because I think for some people,I think, yeah, I was talking to
you about this actually earlier.It's you see people around you
the same age as you doing things.
Yeah. And you feel like you've got to
do that, too. But there are a lot of people
(19:44):
out there that, you know, they're at different stages of
their lives. And we've got friends who now
have children. And I don't see myself having
kids in the next three years. I've already said like I'll
definitely be over 30, but if I ever have children.
(20:08):
But I've got other friends who, you know, at the age of 20,
they've had their. First time, Yeah, Yeah.
They've done that with like, youknow, the person that is high
school sweetheart, Yeah, and allthat sort of thing.
But it just depends on where youare in your life and what you
want to focus on as. Well, yeah, what your priorities
are. Like, I think it's also having
(20:29):
that stability in this day and age.
There has been a lot of talks ofespecially, you know, your
millennials and Gen Z who have been more wanting to have that
financial stability before they take those big steps or going,
oh, I'm going to focus more on my career.
So it's easier for me to have a fur baby like a dog or a cat
(20:52):
rather than a natural child. That's been absolutely adopted
more yeah than that full responsibility of, yeah, having
kids. Kids, Yeah.
That's the other thing. Like I for one would rather be
able to have my own actual home instead of renting.
Course. Before taking that next step.
(21:14):
And my parents were the same. They built their home, they then
got married, and then they had me and my sister.
Yeah. So.
But I don't know, I feel like that's also kind of old
fashioned in a way, because I'vegot other friends who got
married, then they bought their home.
Yeah. Or.
I've had kids, then got married,then got the home.
(21:37):
Or yeah, got the home, then had kids and I don't know.
It just depends on where you arein your life.
Yeah, there's no right or wrong in how you go about it and.
I feel like it shouldn't be all about trying to find, you know,
the love of your life. It should be trying to find, I
guess, fulfilment in your own life.
Absolutely. Because, I mean, I also watched
(21:58):
a lot of Ripple's Drag Race again, reality TV.
And it's good stuff, you know? They always like push, you know,
to love yourself before you can sort of love anyone else.
But in saying that, sometimes you need that extra person in
your life in order to love. Yourself feel that way.
So it's very up in the air. It is.
(22:19):
It's that's the only thing aboutthis whole subject.
It's very open ended because everyone has their own reality.
Yes. And you'll never truly you can
you can level with people, Yeah.But that understanding thing I
feel is still embedded. Yeah.
Unless that person literally shares your trajectory and your
experience and has lived throughwhat you've lived, you'll never
(22:42):
quite. You can meet yourselves in a
space where. Yeah, OK, Yeah.
And that's what I feel is reallyinteresting.
And I found in a lot of relationships with myself
personally, it's amazing if two people meet and one person's
experience of life is back here and you're meeting them here and
you're ready for whatever comes next.
(23:04):
And they're still back here. And unfortunately, that's that's
where you are, unless this person takes that time to meet
you there. But the part what's scary is by
the time that you wait for that person, should you wait, you
could be miles ahead. Yeah.
(23:25):
And that's the sort of challengethat I've found that I'm facing
personally, is that in the dating world, which has been
really hard, having a positive outlook, but knowing within
yourself that if your values don't align with this particular
(23:49):
person at this particular time in your life And, you know, and
those stages, like you said, people meet each other at so
many different stages. Could be tomorrow, could be next
year, could be in 10 years from now.
It could be. Who knows?
Yeah. But you're right.
It's that foundation, yeah, thatis so important.
Because I've had this conversation with even my
(24:09):
friends, because I've got a friend, she's got two young boys
and then I've got another one who's a school teacher who went
straight into being, doing teaching straight beauty sort of
thing. And then I've got another friend
who is still at uni. She's doing her master's, but
she's also working as a prison guard and things like that.
(24:31):
She's. Doing a masters she's.
Doing a master's Oh. Shoot, I didn't realise she was
doing. A double degree pretty much.
So she's doing her bachelor's aswell as a master's.
That's insane, yeah. Wow.
Yeah. And so like, we had this full
conversation because my friend who has two kids, she's like,
oh, I feel like I've missed out on so much because I had kids
(24:52):
early and we're like, you haven't missed out on March.
Like the only thing I guess he missed out on was like, we might
have gone clubbing like in our early 20s and things like that.
But at the end of the day, you can still do that.
Nothing stopped me from doing that.
What does he say In Austin Powers?
(25:13):
There was a gas gas shortage anda Flock of Seagulls.
That's about it. Yeah, like it's, it's so easy to
get caught up in what people aredoing around you.
And thinking. You're behind and then you start
going down the road of like, am I mentally delayed and that sort
(25:37):
of thing? Or emotionally delayed and it's
like, no, you're where you need to be.
Yeah, you're right where you were meant to be.
And that's not, that's not a matter of fault or blame.
It is simply just the way thingsare.
And that's OK. You know, you don't.
You're right. I think we do.
(25:57):
We do, sort of. I do it all the time.
You've heard me do it when I go,oh shit, we're getting old.
Shit, we'll be 30 soon. Oh shit, what have we like?
What have I achieved? What is this?
What is that like? But realistically, I wouldn't go
back now, Yeah. With all the knowledge and life
(26:18):
experience that I have now, no way would I go back.
Yeah. Because if I had to go back and
lose everything I've learnt and learn it all again and knowing
that, can you? I can just imagine going back
like you hit a point and then all of a sudden you just get
rewinded back to being 18. Yeah, I look back on my 18 year
(26:41):
old self and like she had so much growing to do and even even
think about like my relationshipthat I was in at that time and I
was, I don't think I was should have been in a relationship to
be honest. I was so mature.
I but again, depends on what influences you at that time.
(27:03):
Well, that's exactly right too. I know I was the same.
I was really, I found, I feel like I, I found like a level of
my confidence in year 12. And there are things that I,
there were decisions that I madethat I wish that I hadn't.
And in hindsight, there are, yeah, we all the immaturity's
there. And that's what kicks us up the
arse, I reckon, and just teachesus a lesson later on in life
(27:26):
that goes, well, you know, whatever you do, decisions you
make, it's OK. You're allowed to make mistakes.
And they're not mistakes becausethey're honest.
You know, you've, you've learnt from them.
And I think that's the difference.
If you're going to make a mistake, if you learn from it,
that's nothing but a contribution to your growth as a
person. Yeah.
(27:47):
And gosh, I don't know. I kind of think about, I kind of
begin to comprehend what 18 yearold Jules look like.
Jeez. But I think that is one thing I
have definitely learned is that in life, as bad as it sounds,
you need to have that heartbreak.
Oh, absolutely. You need that to grow.
People that haven't had that emotional heartbreak of like, I
don't know, breaking up with their first love or having a
(28:09):
fallout with the best friend or anything like that.
I dumped my cap because like as much as I hate that hated that
feeling, I still also feel like you need it.
Oh, it is. I couldn't agree more, couldn't
agree more. And to feel that that
(28:30):
vulnerability, that pain. That is whole life is imploding,
yeah. And you know what I was talking?
I was talking to a close friend about this recently.
He said to me, yeah, you've got to sit in it.
You've got to feel it. Yeah, you have to.
That sad, shitty feeling. You have to sit in it.
(28:53):
Yeah. And that reminds you that you're
alive because that is the that is the closest thing that I
reckon science can justify as a feeling of love.
Yeah. You know that you've loved when
you can feel that level of pain that's beyond physical pain.
Yeah. It's like a numbing, soul
(29:14):
crushing stillness. Yeah.
Of overwhelm. It looks different for
everybody. But I know that that grief,
depending, regardless of how long it went for, regardless of.
But just knowing that you can allow yourself to feel that
grief and move on and and and not necessarily move on, move
(29:35):
forward in life and leave that chapter where it was is a hard
thing. Yeah.
Is a very, very hard thing. So I couldn't agree more.
You don't. You haven't lived, I reckon,
until you've felt those feelings.
Yeah. And you'll realise like when
something good comes into your life that yeah, this is, this
(29:57):
is, this is the two handed burger.
This is. This is the whopper.
I'm not. Saying that, you get the.
Whopper, Exactly. You're not gonna stand Mike.
It's Yeah, no, that's his vulnerability.
And I really, I would, I would do anything to try and help
people. This is where I'm really keen
(30:17):
with my mental health, just to help them understand that I
understand why people run around, want to run away from
it. Yes, I get it.
People don't want to feel sad because people associate sad
with bad. Yes, sad is bad.
Yeah. And I mean, in saying that as
someone who has had depression and still occasionally deals
(30:41):
with depression, you do go through those stages of, you
know, feeling good enough that the whole world is crashing
around you. And it could be his bad as it
sounds. It could be as like a little as
like something didn't go right that day.
Or you'd be having the best timeof your life and then that one
little. Trigger.
Trigger a little thought comes into your head and ruins the
(31:02):
whole thing. But I guess it's just trying to
find positives out of it. Yeah, but also remembering what
you've you have been through. You've been through worse.
Yes. There is, I mean, insane that
the thought of it just came intomy head that like The Simpsons
(31:23):
Movie where Paul Bart is standing there in just a T-shirt
with Eddie's pants and he goes, this is the worst day ever.
And Homer looks and goes, this is the worst day ever so far.
Yeah. But also, there's a lot of
better days coming. Well.
That's it. That's I think a really powerful
(31:45):
message. I remember that.
The worst day of your life so far.
Jesus, you put him in this position.
Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.
No, no, it's on the on the back of that.
And thank you for sharing that, Sarah, because that's very,
that's a very sensitive topic. I know.
And I know I too have. I've had my moments with
(32:09):
depression too, and anxiety surrounding it, and I think it's
amazing when you can label certain feelings, whether you've
been overwhelmed or burnt out. And I remember just sitting
there and going, maybe, maybe I'm depressed.
Yeah, maybe. Maybe, I'm not sure.
Is this what depression looks like?
(32:30):
Yeah, I didn't realise that I had such anxiety that I do and I
guess have that level of depression that I had at the
time until I had that big, I hada big breakdown.
And it ended up being that because I'm so bad at bottling
(32:52):
up my emotions and because I don't know, in my brain, I feel
like it's easier for me to keep it to myself than being a
burden. Put that in quotation marks, a
burden on someone else. And it wasn't until I had that
big breakdown going, oh shit, I probably should actually do
something about this or I shouldgo talk to someone.
(33:15):
Like it's easy to talk to your friends.
It's easy to talk to your familyor even like you know, your
significant other. But at the same time, if you're
not communicating the full storyor if you're going down the
thing of what I was doing of, oh, I don't want to burden them
with it, Yeah, you won't help yourself.
(33:38):
And you get to the point where you have that big breakdown.
But also, sometimes it's nice tohave a big breakdown, yeah.
Well, that's it too. And I think I admire that you
acknowledge getting that neutralperspective as well, because we
all want to turn to people that we love.
And sometimes that burden, that feeling good people tend to
(34:02):
blame themselves and put the burden on themselves more than
anyone. And that's because they feel,
and that's the thing I can sharein that feeling of not wanting
to burn other people and holdingon to that to the extent that it
makes you feel like, well, it's a constant walking on egg
(34:22):
shells. I can't do anything right.
What's next? That uncertainty and that
snowball? It just starts to constantly
build over time. And I think we sometimes take on
(34:43):
the shortcomings of others in our lives, too.
Was that sort of the feeling that you had that there were
things that were going on and you felt like you were to blame?
It wasn't more that I was to blame.
I think it was more that people have their own stuff going on
and they don't need to hear about mine.
I'm I'm really bad at that. Like it's, it's sometimes good
(35:06):
to talk about like to give otherpeople perspective, you know,
being able to say like, I don't know, for example, one of my
friends goes, oh, I've been really damned lately this and
this has been happening in my life.
And instead of like doing the conversation of like, oh, I feel
you. I've had the similar thing
happen last week, you know, blah, blah.
Instead it's like, oh, OK, yeah,you know, that's cool.
(35:29):
I'm not going to talk about what's going on in my life
because you've got enough going on.
But in saying that, it's also trying to find your support
network. As well.
Yeah, I've thought about this key wave when someone would
share that and asking about how someone is, because I know
actually a lot of us can you can, you can after time.
(35:50):
I think as we get older, we can see it.
We can feel it. We can see it in someone's eyes.
Yeah. I think, you know, when
something's gone wrong, it's howyou know, how do you feel about
that? Like if something's happened,
how do you feel about it? You know, like any interaction
(36:10):
you might have with someone, if someone's come to you and
they've said something, they've gone and you've saved the
reaction that you had internallyto what was external.
The internal reaction was gut dropping, but the external was
sort of like, I'm going to dismiss this and paint over it
and make it seem like it's all OK to alleviate the conflict and
(36:31):
not create a disagreement. Because naturally when you're a
good person and you don't want to create disappointment, well,
that's that's that whole surrounding, yeah, I'm not
angry. I'm disappointed.
No one wants to disappoint anybody.
It's like it's easier to be angry than it is to be
disappointed. When you hear disappointment,
you're like, oh fuck, fuck, that's bang.
(36:54):
Yeah, that's like, oh, where do I sit now?
It's yeah, it's a really, reallycomplex.
And I've sort of thought about that in conversation.
If you can simply navigate that.And when you're listening and
asking, it's like, OK, well, howdo you, how do you feel about
it? How do you feel about this?
(37:15):
How do you feel right now? Like, what is it?
That's if you could explain how you're feeling right now, what
would be the first emotion that would come to mind?
You know, is it sad? Is it confused?
Is it betrayed? Is it, you know, there's so many
different things and when you can label those feelings and you
can sort of find a way to whether it's writing it down,
(37:37):
whether it's practising some form of mindfulness and
labelling those thoughts and feelings or God.
I've noticed that there are somepeople in our lives that we do
have to like. If there are people that 'cause
you a great level of grief in life, like I know I've shared
with you recently that I've had that happen in my life and I've
(38:00):
had to let go of that. Yeah.
It's almost as though it's not the love that you don't hold for
that person. It's just that person.
And what they have to how they show up in your life is not
serving you in a positive way. And.
I feel like going off that it's also learning if you've
outgrown. Relationships, yeah.
(38:21):
I mean, you know, there were so many people that I was friends
with throughout school and things like that.
And there's that thing of like, you know, your friendship's
going different ways, and it's also realising you might have
outgrown that friendship or even, yeah, your values don't
align anymore. No changes over time.
And it's easier to. It's better to distance
(38:42):
yourself. But then also there's other
times, like, I mean, for us in for example, like we met, we
were in high school, we had sortof that break in between being
like, I think we were like, you know, 18 to 21 or something.
Yeah, It was around that time, yeah.
And I just remember reconnecting, Yeah.
And I was just like, I really love spending time with Sarah.
(39:04):
Yeah. I really, I think we gel.
I think that we have, we really,we're really good friends.
And it's sort of like it always,it was there.
It was more like time just had to take its course and being
able to have that quality time with you in, you know, hanging
(39:24):
out in party spaces and just like, yeah, sharing those
conversations and hang. It was all just that.
It was all like any foundation of a friendship.
It's just that level of understanding and wanting to
sort of build on that. And I remember that.
I remember it really well. I'm trying to think when because
(39:46):
we definitely met through one ofour mutual friends.
Yeah, and. I'm pretty sure it was her 21st.
We caught up again. Yeah, it was too, wasn't it?
I'm trying to think who was there.
That's right. Because I OK, I remember one of
the first times I met you, it was at Yeah, her. 16th. 16th And
(40:10):
I had control of the music for some reason.
That's right. Oh God.
And I think I put on Queen and. You did, Can you?
Please put on radio Gaga. And I was like, absolutely.
That's right. Yeah.
So these little things. So we, gosh, we've been, we've
been friends for far longer thanI realised.
(40:31):
Yeah. We've known each other for ages,
Yeah. Ages and ages, yeah.
And I think that's the thing. I felt that I felt that warmth
in our friendship from the very beginning and that understanding
and that's that's how things flourish in life.
I'm starting to understand that's why people are in your
(40:51):
life. Yeah.
Is because they care and becausethat you can find an
understanding and a mutual respect and and and and love and
care for each other because it'sit it just feels like it's
natural. Naturally you gravitate to
people and some people you don't.
And that all stems from values. Yeah.
And how we've been brought up and I can tell because I know
(41:15):
the conversations of being able to sit there with your buddy
parents till 3:00 in the morningtalking, even if that involves a
couple of drinks, it doesn't matter.
Like we all like, it's just likeit's just easy.
Yeah, it's easy. And I feel like that's what
every every friendship should belike.
It's it's easy. It's I don't, I don't
(41:36):
communication and and it being just easy and just amazing, just
fulfilling. I think that's yeah.
And I know I can say this wholeheartedly.
You are one of the only people Ifeel like I can talk about
everything and anything from, like, politics, Yeah, religion,
The two topics that you really don't need to talk about, we can
talk about. Yeah.
(41:56):
Exactly. And that's, that's, I feel the
same way about you. And that's, that's it.
It's it's like an extra step of,of vulnerability that you can't
talk to everybody about. Yeah, because a lot of people
will get very, you're right, they will get really dismissive.
But I think that's the one thingthey tell people.
Never talk about politics, nevertalk about religion, never talk.
(42:16):
But why? I think it's because people have
just such vast views. Yeah, I mean.
Especially at the moment with how the world is, yeah, I feel
like that. Like as soon as I hear people
start and talk about politics, Ido tend to go no.
You know where it's going to go,and I get it.
But I think as well that it's a level of respect as well.
(42:40):
And I think that the issue is there's it's awareness and it's
respect. And I think that's what's
important more than anything is that.
Yeah. You know, people are going to
disagree on all sorts of things,and that's fine.
Yeah, that's all good. It's whether or not you can sit
there, look at that person in the eye, whether or not you have
(43:01):
the same. If you if you perceive that
ideology in a negative or positive light and you can go, I
respect you, but I disagree. Yeah.
But then at the same time it depending on who you're talking
to, it's like, do you? Really want to open up that
camera exactly, exactly. Well, that's that's exactly what
it is. And I think we all want to
(43:24):
create a sense of peace in in each other's lives.
I mean, I know I do. I know that you consciously,
consciously want to do that. Yeah.
And you hear about hate speech and you hear about all the
horrible shit that happens on inthe world right now.
And it doesn't help that at all.But, yeah, I think it, it is
(43:46):
really like a a testament to to us as friends that we can
communicate that way, We can communicate openly.
And I think that's, gosh, it's, you can wonder why a lot of
friendships, relationships into connections, people breakdown.
Yeah. And I'm guilty of it.
(44:08):
Absolutely. Some of the closest people in my
life that I've haven't known what to do.
Yeah, in a situation I haven't ran away, but I have, I've
cowered and I've, I've, I've been absolutely terrified
because I've felt unequipped. Yeah, to deal with that.
And I think it also depends on the people's demeanour, like I.
(44:29):
Remember. Someone was saying like we went
to different high schools and they were saying that they had
two different sets of friends. They had friends that they could
pretty much just more be themselves around, but at the
same time they weren't the best people to hang around.
With supportive people, yeah. But then there was another group
(44:50):
that they were better people, but because they had different
views on things, they also made them feel dumb.
So it was sort of like that thing of, oh, these people
aren't the greatest, but they make me feel good.
They make I can be comfortable around them, but then it's like,
oh, these people are better to be around, but I also don't feel
(45:13):
like I'm up to scratch. Do you feel like they were a bit
of a chameleon? Like they had to sort of fit in
with one more than the other in order to sort of maintain it.
I don't know honestly. I mean, I think it was also
maybe just joined by what other people thought of them.
(45:34):
Yeah. Like it looked like from the
outside, it's like, oh, they're hanging around with these
people, so they must be good people.
Oh, blah, blah. Was hanging around with this
person. Like, what do you think they're
up to? I don't know but.
That was high. School, like, I feel like your
relationships in high school, the people who are in high
school are so different because again, as we were saying, you
know, you get that level of maturity.
(45:56):
You find yourself who you are. You find your people.
You do. You really do.
I couldn't agree more. I look back at like everything
and I think about people that wewere at up in Port Douglas with
together. And right now, the main person
(46:21):
right now in my life who I'm still in really good contact
without of everybody there, is yourself.
Yeah. I was about to say the same.
Thing and that's such a beautiful thing and I know
that's just life and that's nothing against anyone.
That's simply the way that the cookies crumbled.
Yeah, it's not as though with some of those lovely people that
you wouldn't be able to pick up where you left off.
It's simply just a piece of lifeand everybody's on a different
(46:44):
journey. Everyone has different
aspirations and different priorities and values as well.
Yeah. Some people might not have
valued that connection as much as you did.
Yeah. And as brutal as that sounds,
that's just reality. Like I've, I've at some, at one
(47:05):
point, I couldn't imagine those people not in my life.
Yeah. And what can you do?
You can't do anything about it if someone doesn't like.
Yeah, that's, that's just the the natural ebb and flow of the
ocean, isn't it? It's just, it just keeps going.
Yeah, it's crazy. It is absolutely bananas to
(47:28):
think that that amount of time has gone by and just.
Yeah, adulting. Oh yeah, apparently.
Go in the bin. Oh no, I don't want.
To be an adult anymore. Oh, no, it's like what?
(47:49):
You know, that's actually reallythat's that's another topic in
itself. There are people I know who are
double our age who I wouldn't call adults.
Oh yeah. Which is, isn't it?
Isn't it interesting? I think it's a choice.
Yeah. I mean, I mean, sometimes even
saying like, what, like my parents or some of their friends
(48:12):
do. And I'm like, hang on, you're
like 60. What are you doing?
Yeah. I've seen, I've seen like
younger, like younger kids, young adults, like 17 year olds
who are more, like 10 times moremature in their approach to
life. Yeah.
And wise, like, wiser than like 30 year olds.
(48:34):
Yeah. Because they're just engaged and
in touch. Yeah, life and their emotional
awareness and they're like is through the roof, yeah.
And that's a credit to their upbringing for sure.
But. It's also you don't fully know
what else has gone on in their. Lives exactly to have them.
(48:57):
Yeah, I think that's one of the big things.
Especially now in 2025 that we do tend to look at more of like
I guess childhood trauma, yes, and.
Absolutely. How that has shaped just and all
that sort of thing, but I don't know, I it's even just not
(49:19):
taking life so seriously. I feel like that's the other
thing we need to kind of remember, you know, yes, it's
easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing, but you
don't need to take life so seriously, no.
I agree. And I think it's very, it's sad
that you can see a lot of peopleget so caught up in that all the
time. Don't get me wrong.
(49:39):
Life is challenging, guys. Life is.
Yeah. What can we say at 26 and 27?
Well, you'll, you will. You'll feel as much as you're
willing to suffer. Yeah.
And suffering is a part of if you care for anything in your
life, you're going to suffer regardless.
(50:02):
Just sorry, yeah. It's brutal, but it's.
Brutal, but yeah, the court of Harry Potter.
You're going to suffer, but you're going to be happy.
I love that it's a wonky cross. Well, that means pain and
suffering, so. You're gonna suffer, but you're
gonna be. Happy about it.
(50:29):
The Grimm, The Grimm The Grimm What's the Grimm?
The. Grimm.
One of the darkest omens in our world omen death.
Literally it's. I'm starting to understand that
philosophically, that is literally that pain that you
feel in that heartbreak is because you cared.
(50:52):
You genuinely loved and you cared.
You gave a piece of yourself to someone else energetically,
spiritually, that person had that part of you.
And now that tie has been severed.
Well, it's as severed as much asyou're willing to sever it and
some. And I think that's it's, it's
(51:16):
very sad. It's very, very sad.
Potential that is unrealized is devastating.
Yeah, it is devastating. It's like losing a life.
It's like losing someone. It is, it is, it is the the
feeling of grief. And this is the feeling that
I've sort of correlated, I think.
How would it feel like to go through a divorce with someone
you've been married to for like 20 years?
(51:38):
I feel like even, I don't know, people that have even gone
through divorce after like a year or two years and going
through a thing of that whole commitment sort of ceremony and
then going shit, what have I done?
Like. I meant nothing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's also same with certain
(52:02):
relationships, like being with someone for so long or being so
used to having that person. Person there.
Yeah. Yeah, that dependency in a
healthy way. In a healthy way, but yeah.
Or not realising the red flags and then when you know that rose
coloured glass suddenly shattersand going.
(52:24):
Why did I deal with that for so long?
Yeah, it's, it's really fascinating that you mentioned
that and I think. Who said this?
It was actually from Spider Man.It was from Spider Man.
(52:48):
From Spider Man. Yeah, it was.
It was. It was Spider Man 3, Tobey
Maguire and the Aunt May in thatone.
And she said it's about how thatperson makes you feel about
yourself. That's also like one of my
favourite things from I'm. Sure it was that.
Don't quote me on that, but sounds like a quote.
(53:11):
One of my favourite things from Perks.
Bit of wallflower. Yeah.
You accept the love you think you deserve.
Deserve. Yeah.
I sort of stand by. I've sort of like replay that in
my yeah, a few times. Like when something, you know,
doesn't quite align with me, I'mlike, you know, why am I dealing
with this sort of thing? Yeah.
And then I'm like, oh, that's because I think I deserve that.
(53:35):
But then at the same time, you finally work out what it all is.
Ended up being a huge miscommunication because nine
times out of 10, I didn't listenproperly or my brain went
somewhere. Wasn't into overthinking.
And that's, and that's, you knowwhat overthinking is a sign of a
really gentle heart filled soul.That's the truth.
(54:00):
Yeah. When you overthink, it's because
you care. Yeah.
And because you really. Yeah.
It's intention. And if you set that intention
for yourself, I think that is somuch more important.
You set that intention that, youknow, you didn't want to do
this. You didn't want to do that.
How did it get to this point? Yeah.
You know, let's go back. Let's dial it back.
(54:22):
Yeah. Was it something I said or was
it something I did? Yeah.
Two separate things. But also that ends up being like
the thing I'm overthinking aboutbecause, you know, a slight
change in the vibe and I'm like,what'd I do?
Did I say something? And it ends up being just as
simple as like, no, I'm just chilling.
(54:43):
You know what? And this is the thing, I think
it's when you can, because I've had these moments myself.
It's when you think that what's going on is your responsibility.
You take responsibility, but straight away.
Yeah. Because if I don't, no one else
will. Yeah.
And it's like, it's real, but it's it's hot.
(55:04):
It's a shit feeling. Yeah.
Shit sits with you like, well, Idon't, I don't want this to get
to there. So I'm going to just going to
take it. Yeah, I'm just going to take it
straight away. I'm just going to take it
Happens to me. It's happened to me a lot in the
past. And that filling of egg shells
again, I it's like, how can we build this?
(55:30):
I'm not going to say it's a fearless approach, but it's that
reassurance within ourselves andthat belief within ourselves
that what we do is never intended for ABC or D to occur.
Yeah. In a negative way.
(55:51):
You know, your intention matters.
Your intention is everything. If you intended to do good and
the outcome was not so good, that's not on you.
Yeah, if you can put that energyout into the world and it's it's
good energy and it's not returnable, that's fine.
Yeah, that's OK. I think it's accepting that not
feeling like it's that idea of rejection.
(56:14):
Rejection is the most cooked thing I think we can, one of the
most horrible things we experience going through life.
And it's constant. Yeah.
It's constantly occurring in life.
Constantly. That safety is like it's taken
away the moment that occurs. Yeah.
But I like to say that it's rejection is redirection.
(56:34):
You need it to grow. Exactly.
Yeah, exactly. And I think, yeah, no, those
situations, gosh, when you can, yeah, sit with someone that you
love and then feel as though you've done something wrong and
you just want to alleviate it. You just want to alleviate.
You're like, no, I don't. I don't, I don't want to feel
(56:55):
this. Don't want to go through this.
Just just yeah. But then you're like, shut up,
brain. You don't even know what you're
talking about. You don't even know what's going
on. Yeah.
Does it come from here? Does it come from there?
Yeah. What are you saying?
What's this saying? You're right, man.
All right. What are you saying?
No, I'll fix it. And I was like, yeah.
But what's there to fix? Nothing.
(57:16):
Nothing. Yeah, there is nothing to fix.
You're fine. Yeah.
It's like. But sometimes you do need that
reassurance. Oh, absolutely, absolutely.
And that's reassurance is essential, I think if you need,
if you need it, if that's something you feel that you
need, I think everyone should. And that's it.
That's communication itself. Reassurance is extremely
(57:38):
important. Yeah.
I feel like it's something that I wish that I had a lot more in
in my relationships throughout the years.
Yeah. Yeah.
It comes into communication, allof it.
You know, we're all trying to work towards being more secure
human beings within ourselves. And I was listening to, I know
(57:59):
this goes down a rabbit hole of attachment theory.
I love it. I love it.
My brain just can't absorb enough information when it comes
down to it. But this whole idea that when we
talk about codependency independence, it's not a bad
thing to depend on your partner.Yeah.
(58:23):
Because essentially there are, there is, you are attached in a,
in a very unique way. Yeah.
So that dependency in what that looks like is unique for
everybody, you know, whether that's going to hold their hand
(58:43):
when you're feeling anxious or terrified.
Yeah. Or like just unsafe, these
little things. Yeah.
Phone calls, text messages, small 1% are gestures like tiny
little things. I've noticed that those are the
things that make up as little idiosyncrasies, as Robin
(59:06):
Williams would say. Yeah, it's as little
idiosyncrasies that you know about that person that makes all
the difference. It makes all the difference to
both of your lives. Yeah.
Because you know that person intimately more than in a way
that no one else could understand.
It's quite. Yeah.
It's quite interesting, yeah. Look at you going all down and
(59:32):
learning. It's funny why I feel like I
can't really have an opinion because I haven't been able to
sustain like a really healthy relationship.
But also, a healthy relationshipis different for everyone.
That's not true. The people say, oh, a healthy
relationship doesn't have XYZ orit has to have XYZ.
(59:52):
Yeah. It's expectations.
But every relationship with everyone is that you're into.
Is different, Yeah. It's not going to be the same.
Like I've had this conversation with my friends as well.
It's like, oh what this person just did You know what your
boyfriend or whatever I just didto you?
That is like super controlling and it's like, what do you mean
(01:00:12):
that's super controlling? I don't find that controlling.
Yeah, see what one might find tobe controlling, the other might
find to be well. Yeah.
Just it. Yeah.
It just is what it is. Yeah.
And if I didn't like it, I wouldhave said something about it.
Yeah, that's it. But then also there is that
thing of like, I guess it's always, there's always another
(01:00:33):
side to it. Like of course someone needs to
say that in order for you to wake up and see that idiot.
But but that's life. There's always two sides to
every emotion story. What do they say?
Every rose has its owns, yeah. Yeah.
But yeah, it's very, very true. Well.
(01:00:56):
I hope yeah, this end up being more this actually have been a
good conversation about like mental health and.
Everything it has, it has. Yeah, it's, I know it's
something very close to our heart from whether it's lived
experience or just total respectfor people that struggle with it
or are experiencing something intheir lives that is not so
pleasant, that awareness. Yeah, yeah.
(01:01:18):
So this is like just our experience.
And not. Saying it's a be or end all or
anything like that. And I think that's the other
side. People go, oh, really?
My experience it was this and this.
And it's like, yeah, but that was yours.
Yeah, exactly. But.
Yeah, sharing. Sharing is caring.
Exactly, exactly, not exactly, exactly, exactly.
(01:01:44):
Well, this has been a very special episode of Spill the
Human and we can't wait to have you guys along for our journey
as we venture into this uncharted water of spilling tea
and spilling the stories that must be told.
(01:02:07):
And keeping the good vibes. Exactly.
Even though you do talk about heavy stuff like we did today,
but yeah, it's still, yeah. We have to maintain positivity
and optimism, and we will. We assure you that we will, and
we'll keep the cynicism to a minimum, but we'll not defer or
deter from being real. That is what is most important.
(01:02:30):
It's been real, It's been real. Let's spill it.
This has been spill the. Human.
Thank you, happy humans, for tuning into today's episode of
(01:02:50):
Spill the Human. If you enjoyed the show, please
go ahead and give it a thumbs up.
Leave a comment and make sure tofollow us wherever you get the
podcast. We appreciate you, we see you.
We'll catch you next time. Until then, stay calmed, stay
curious, and most of all, stay here.
Music. Hello, humans of the realm, the
world. You tell I've been playing too
much D and. D You're the.
Realm the. Humans of the Realm, welcome to
Spill the Human. And well, we've recorded all
(00:52):
these other episodes, and Sarah and I are like, why haven't we
recorded our own? And that's exactly what we're
here to do today. So welcome to the show.
Welcome to an episode about Sarah and Jules, your Co hosts,
creators of Spill the Human, andwhy we have decided that we want
to spill the human, spill the tea, spill those conversations
(01:13):
out onto the table. Or even just on yourself, like I
did this morning. Yes, that is one of how is this
for a sign guys? So we we we've arrived at our
studio destination for the day and just before I left Sarah
called me and she says US put coffee on me on the way up here.
(01:34):
And I thought, well shit, this is pre emptively exactly what
we're about. It wasn't tea.
But it was. It was.
Spilt. There was something spilt.
A spillage had occurred, which is what it's all about.
These are the things in life that we cannot control.
Someone else is trying to spill something on us.
Yeah. And that is, I guess that might
(01:56):
signal trauma, but let's let's save that long down the track.
No, here, here. It's build a human.
We are all about essentially having those human conversations
with real T real people. And we want to talk to everyone,
people of all walks of life. Yeah, people who work in
(02:18):
different industries, particularly in areas where
there are huge areas of stigma and where we can try and
alleviate and try and educate aswell as share stories and human
voices, real human voices, voices that matter and knowing
that everyone's voice matters and everyone has a story to
(02:40):
tell. And that's where this journey is
hopefully going to take us in a really beautiful, beautiful
direction. Yeah.
I mean, like, we've had guests on, we've heard all their
stories, but we actually haven'treally introduced ourselves.
I mean, like, yeah, we've touched on a little bit about
(03:01):
what I do in the real world and bits and pieces of like what
you're up to at the moment, Jules, with your study.
Yeah. But at the same time, we haven't
actually, you don't even know anything about it.
So just like, Oh yeah, these arejust two peeps that have just
decided to start knowing podcastand have people on and it's just
like who are. They here we are, except of
(03:21):
regardless of how much you know,but that's literally what it's
been. I agree.
That's that's we're, we're just,we're just such cool people.
That's that's all you need to know.
No, at the end of show, No, 3 minutes done.
Yeah, no. Well, you know what?
Let's we just keen to jump straight into it guys, in terms
(03:44):
of who we are and how we live our lives, our backgrounds and
our stories. We would just love to give that
to you today and share that as we would in that sort of
vulnerable space as as much as we can as well.
Do you want to start Sarah? Yes, I will.
(04:05):
So yeah, as you said in one of our past episodes, yeah, I work
at University of Melbourne. I work as an animal technician
and I am a full burnt animal lover.
Full, full bone, full blown animal lover.
Jeez. Oh my God, I, I wish.
(04:27):
I haven't even went with that. I don't even know what I'm
saying anymore. I know plenty of minds that
would have turned that into something very different.
So, you know, we'll move forward.
So yeah, I've got a degree in veterinary and wildlife science
that I did at Federation Uni in Ballarat, and I'm now working at
(04:51):
one of the best unis in Australia, which is insane.
Literally, you are working at the Creme de la Creme.
Yeah, the Hogwarts of arguably the Hogwarts of Australia, I'd
say. But I.
Can say working there compared to probably studying there is 2
completely different things fromwhat I've heard.
(05:13):
I mean, I've never started there, but from what I've heard,
it's clearly different. But yeah, so in saying that, I
have had a few different hobbies, I suppose you can say,
yeah, I, I ride horses. I do this thing called Western
performance horse riding and we dress up like Cowboys.
(05:36):
But it's not rodeo. It's a lot slower than radio.
It's not rodeo, just CNA. But we still look like Cowboys,
which is pretty cool. But it's expensive and I am very
grateful for my parents for allowing me to do that as a
youth and paying for a lot of. It they've facilitated a lot of
happiness. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
(06:01):
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ponies, ponies, yeah.
And I have moved more into as well Wildlife Conservation.
So I have recently done the MissEarth Australia pageant and my
advocacy was Wildlife Conservation so and stamping out
(06:23):
extinction because Australia hasthe highest rate of extinction
in the world, which is gross. That is an alarming statistic
for a place. Oh yeah, that you would not
expect to have that you'd think it would be at front and centre.
Oh. No, there's so many other things
that are in that seem to take precedence.
(06:44):
In some capacity at least, you know.
I guess it's more money if we want to go down that route,
maybe we shouldn't go down the route because that's kind of a,
you know. Hey, everyone's in time with
their opinions. We leave our biases at the door,
but if it needs to come through for a area of passion, it's a
different story. But.
Yeah, that's mainly me. I mean, I oh, I shouldn't.
(07:07):
Yeah, I've also got a nice boyfriend.
His name's Jack, except he doesn't want to be part of the
podcast. Rude.
Jack no, it's understandable. Yeah, yeah.
So that's a little bit about me.What about you, Lynn?
What have? You hello ladies and gentlemen,
I'm I'm I'm Jules. I am currently studying to
(07:34):
become a counsellor or a mental health worker in some capacity.
I currently work at a bowling alley, which I have lots of fun
at and I enjoy very much. We're like a a family down there
where I work. And yeah, I'm very passionate
(07:57):
about film TV, creative outlets.This particular show is sort of
the flow on from the original show that Sarah and I were a
part of called Well, that's justit.
So in terms of, yeah, this is this is sort of a dream, being
(08:18):
able to sort of have that consistency and, and move
forward with something creative.Yeah, I feel like there's
there's I'm trying to, I'm trying to just lean back into
it. I'm, yeah, I'm of a Polish
background. I grew up on the Grand Ocean
Road and yeah, I had the beautiful upbringing of living
(08:43):
in the country, going to school in Geelong, meeting this lovely
lady along the way. And yeah, I think about that
sort of that journey and all theexperiences.
I'm an animal lover to myself. I have a cat.
I had a dog for 16 years. Bless her heart.
(09:04):
She was the most beautiful thing.
And yeah, I think in all the sort of things that I'd love for
everyone to know about myself listening to the show, is that
I'm someone who cares very deeply.
(09:24):
I'm a very empathetic and compassionate person, and you'll
definitely see that in a lot of the conversations that we have
with people that I could even, Idon't want to speak out of out
of assumption, but I can tell that that's something that Sarah
and I absolutely share, that we're very, very eager to listen
(09:44):
to people and to share experiences.
And I think, yeah, there's this lots to look forward to on this
show and these these parts and alot of that character sort of
character building within dynamics is something that will
(10:07):
definitely be at play, which is really, really exciting.
And that's why I think we're going to have people who are not
so familiar to us and some that are more familiar to us joining
us, which is going to be for some really interesting
podcasting and shows as well, which is cool.
But yeah, going back to me, I'm obsessed with Star Wars,
obsessed with Lord of the Rings.I'm just deviate.
(10:27):
I'm going everywhere, guys. I'm, I think it's interesting
doing this from a really authentic perspective.
It can be really hard to talk about yourself well.
I was going to say that like I as I'm.
Realising that now. Yeah, I've done pageants and
that was always, that is always the highest question of tell me
about yourself. Because I'm one person that
like, as much as I love like being up on that stage and
(10:51):
things like that, I also don't like being the centre of
attention. Yeah, it's so hard to just
sometimes just sit down and talkabout yourself.
And like, I don't want to be that person that just keeps
talking on and on about myself and what I do.
But at the same time, you also want to be authentic and you
want people to know. Who you are exactly, exactly.
And I think that's the really going back to that
(11:12):
vulnerability, guys, you know, like, I think I agree with you
when it comes down to those things you don't realise.
Like sometimes you feel like youlove to be in that spotlight,
but sometimes it's, I want to, Iwant to make everybody else feel
what I'm capable of feeling already.
If they can feel seen, heard, and that what they have to say,
(11:33):
feel, do, and that matters and that there's people who are
willing to hear them out. I feel like it's that whole
aspect, don't get me wrong, thatpractise of self love and and
self care is something that I'veit's and life moves so quickly
as well is so, so important though those two things.
(11:54):
And I think that's what it is, being able to talk about
ourselves in a really positive light.
Yeah, I've just, I just acknowledged that literally just
now. I'm just like, wow, OK, but.
It's also like, how much do I want to tell everyone about
myself? Exactly, Exactly.
Like, yeah, you can. I'll tell her on the surface
level, but as soon as you get toknow me a lot more, you realise
(12:15):
how crazy. Not crazy how I guess different,
unique. Unique.
I guess that's putting in a nicer.
Well, you know what? And these are the cool things.
We might be a bit crazy guys, but get used to it.
You're going to enjoy it. And this is the whole part We,
we, we really strive on and as well as want to include and
(12:42):
encourage authenticity because that's, I know that's who we
invite into our lives and who we, we choose to be as well.
And that's following things thatwe believe in, You know, we
believe in, in, in being kind and, and being generous.
And, and yeah, we're grateful for your time to be listening to
us right now. And that vulnerability that
(13:04):
comes with listening to this too, you know, it's, it's very
significant, very, very significant.
Yeah. But I guess, yeah.
Yeah. But I mean, I guess with this
podcast, I think that's one thing that we really want to
make sure we put out there is that we are looking for to be
(13:26):
able to talk to everybody and anybody bring up topics that
might be a little bit taboo withsome people.
Yeah. Or even just, you know, can you
just touch on things that a lot of people don't agree with?
Yeah. What's the word I'm thinking of?
Yeah, I guess the. Word.
(13:48):
I'm thinking of, but I can't getthat.
I can't get it. No, it's OK.
I guess we're trying to sort of navigate a very, very
interesting world at the moment.We're navigating a time that is,
is unprecedented really. There is a lot of division out
in the world, and there's also alot of people who are in need of
(14:10):
a voice and of support and as well as purpose.
I think purpose is something linked to one of the most
important things we'll ever share as human beings is well,
if we can have these conversations and people can be
heard in their own way. And that's sort of a huge
philosophy behind the show, is that we really want to reach out
to that everyday person. As Sarah mentioned, we want to
(14:32):
talk to everybody, and particularly people who feel
misunderstood in their own way as well and might have a
perception of their world not quite completely painted.
Yeah. And fighting this, that stigma
and, and in particular industries as well.
In the past, Sarah and I have worked on a podcast and Sarah's,
(14:54):
as she mentioned, has of course been a part of pageantry for a
long time and and UN UN sort of rolling that reality of what
happens behind the scenes. Yeah, I think that was a big one
because people are so stuck on this like Miss Congeniality or I
(15:14):
guess especially with toddlers and tiaras.
Yes, that's. A big one, but also that's a
reality show. Like there's always going to be
more drama than what there is. Reality.
Reality, yeah, but also, I guess, dramatised.
Dramatised. Yeah, exactly.
(15:34):
I'm not saying that life doesn'thave dramas, but some of the
extent that they have on those, it's just too much.
Like I've been re watching DanceMoms recently and then yeah,
they pop up like on my social media, like the moms and all
that sort of stuff talking abouttheir experiences and they're
(15:55):
like, oh, did you know that thispart, this segment of it all
actually took 4 hours to film every time we did the episode.
And I was like seriously 4 hoursjust for that segment or.
It's a long time. Yeah.
Or there were some things that obviously were blown out of
proportion or, I don't know, like, yeah, just the producers
(16:21):
making it more drama than what it is needs.
To be, yeah. But that's reality TV, so I
can't say it's not good it. Is good.
That's it. It keeps you watching, doesn't
it? Yeah.
It just completely loops you in and keeps you coming back for
more. Yeah, it's doing its job.
Oh yeah. Oh.
(16:41):
Yeah. Yeah.
And I don't know, because I feellike even at the moment, just in
general with TV, there's a lot of same things.
Yeah, being regurgitated, yeah. And even movies, like they're
just bringing out movies, but but having reality TV, it'll I
guess makes you feel like your life isn't that crazy.
(17:03):
Well, that's it. It doesn't make you feel.
It's sort of, Yeah. Makes you step into a completely
different sort of headspace. We think like, So what?
Is this almost normal? Should my life be this chaotic
in order for it to be, like, satisfying?
Yeah. Is the stress that those people
undergo, is it real, or is that just a producer tapping them on
(17:26):
the shoulder tongue to cause the?
Yeah, you need to be more crazy,OK.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.
Simple words. Yeah.
Just yeah. Gold.
Yeah. It's an interesting world we
live in. I feel like I keep thinking
(17:46):
about the rise of maths and I keep thinking about just like, I
mean, of course already today I feel like the whole constitution
of marriage is something that's not what it used to be like
30-40 years ago. It's changed throughout
generations, and now it's, yeah,it's now a reality TV segment
(18:13):
where there's there are all these complete strangers who are
now just willing to get married to a complete stranger.
Have we got guests? Oh.
Sorry, I keep. Or have we got a crowd?
Window and I think there's some teens doing some Tik Toks.
Oh, OK, maybe. Maybe we should.
(18:38):
Oh, no, no. No, we won't do that to them.
I think they realise we're in. Here, to be honest.
Oh, no, no. They know, but they don't know
what we're doing. No, Yeah.
Oh, it's funny. Yeah.
No, it's it's really interesting.
I keep thinking about that wholewhere where do you reckon out?
(19:01):
I know this is sort of divertingaway, but I've been asking
myself this for a while. We know people that we've grown
up with and gone to high school with that have gotten married or
were getting married and stuff like that.
Do you think that that is linkedto something cultural more than
something by like, choice, personal choice?
(19:23):
Do you think that they've had the pressure to get married?
Is it like a time clock? I mean, this is a hard one
because I think for some people,I think, yeah, I was talking to
you about this actually earlier.It's you see people around you
the same age as you doing things.
Yeah. And you feel like you've got to
do that, too. But there are a lot of people
(19:44):
out there that, you know, they're at different stages of
their lives. And we've got friends who now
have children. And I don't see myself having
kids in the next three years. I've already said like I'll
definitely be over 30, but if I ever have children.
(20:08):
But I've got other friends who, you know, at the age of 20,
they've had their. First time, Yeah, Yeah.
They've done that with like, youknow, the person that is high
school sweetheart, Yeah, and allthat sort of thing.
But it just depends on where youare in your life and what you
want to focus on as. Well, yeah, what your priorities
are. Like, I think it's also having
(20:29):
that stability in this day and age.
There has been a lot of talks ofespecially, you know, your
millennials and Gen Z who have been more wanting to have that
financial stability before they take those big steps or going,
oh, I'm going to focus more on my career.
So it's easier for me to have a fur baby like a dog or a cat
(20:52):
rather than a natural child. That's been absolutely adopted
more yeah than that full responsibility of, yeah, having
kids. Kids, Yeah.
That's the other thing. Like I for one would rather be
able to have my own actual home instead of renting.
Course. Before taking that next step.
(21:14):
And my parents were the same. They built their home, they then
got married, and then they had me and my sister.
Yeah. So.
But I don't know, I feel like that's also kind of old
fashioned in a way, because I'vegot other friends who got
married, then they bought their home.
Yeah. Or.
I've had kids, then got married,then got the home.
(21:37):
Or yeah, got the home, then had kids and I don't know.
It just depends on where you arein your life.
Yeah, there's no right or wrong in how you go about it and.
I feel like it shouldn't be all about trying to find, you know,
the love of your life. It should be trying to find, I
guess, fulfilment in your own life.
Absolutely. Because, I mean, I also watched
(21:58):
a lot of Ripple's Drag Race again, reality TV.
And it's good stuff, you know? They always like push, you know,
to love yourself before you can sort of love anyone else.
But in saying that, sometimes you need that extra person in
your life in order to love. Yourself feel that way.
So it's very up in the air. It is.
(22:19):
It's that's the only thing aboutthis whole subject.
It's very open ended because everyone has their own reality.
Yes. And you'll never truly you can
you can level with people, Yeah.But that understanding thing I
feel is still embedded. Yeah.
Unless that person literally shares your trajectory and your
experience and has lived throughwhat you've lived, you'll never
(22:42):
quite. You can meet yourselves in a
space where. Yeah, OK, Yeah.
And that's what I feel is reallyinteresting.
And I found in a lot of relationships with myself
personally, it's amazing if two people meet and one person's
experience of life is back here and you're meeting them here and
you're ready for whatever comes next.
(23:04):
And they're still back here. And unfortunately, that's that's
where you are, unless this person takes that time to meet
you there. But the part what's scary is by
the time that you wait for that person, should you wait, you
could be miles ahead. Yeah.
(23:25):
And that's the sort of challengethat I've found that I'm facing
personally, is that in the dating world, which has been
really hard, having a positive outlook, but knowing within
yourself that if your values don't align with this particular
(23:49):
person at this particular time in your life And, you know, and
those stages, like you said, people meet each other at so
many different stages. Could be tomorrow, could be next
year, could be in 10 years from now.
It could be. Who knows?
Yeah. But you're right.
It's that foundation, yeah, thatis so important.
Because I've had this conversation with even my
(24:09):
friends, because I've got a friend, she's got two young boys
and then I've got another one who's a school teacher who went
straight into being, doing teaching straight beauty sort of
thing. And then I've got another friend
who is still at uni. She's doing her master's, but
she's also working as a prison guard and things like that.
(24:31):
She's. Doing a masters she's.
Doing a master's Oh. Shoot, I didn't realise she was
doing. A double degree pretty much.
So she's doing her bachelor's aswell as a master's.
That's insane, yeah. Wow.
Yeah. And so like, we had this full
conversation because my friend who has two kids, she's like,
oh, I feel like I've missed out on so much because I had kids
(24:52):
early and we're like, you haven't missed out on March.
Like the only thing I guess he missed out on was like, we might
have gone clubbing like in our early 20s and things like that.
But at the end of the day, you can still do that.
Nothing stopped me from doing that.
What does he say In Austin Powers?
(25:13):
There was a gas gas shortage anda Flock of Seagulls.
That's about it. Yeah, like it's, it's so easy to
get caught up in what people aredoing around you.
And thinking. You're behind and then you start
going down the road of like, am I mentally delayed and that sort
(25:37):
of thing? Or emotionally delayed and it's
like, no, you're where you need to be.
Yeah, you're right where you were meant to be.
And that's not, that's not a matter of fault or blame.
It is simply just the way thingsare.
And that's OK. You know, you don't.
You're right. I think we do.
(25:57):
We do, sort of. I do it all the time.
You've heard me do it when I go,oh shit, we're getting old.
Shit, we'll be 30 soon. Oh shit, what have we like?
What have I achieved? What is this?
What is that like? But realistically, I wouldn't go
back now, Yeah. With all the knowledge and life
(26:18):
experience that I have now, no way would I go back.
Yeah. Because if I had to go back and
lose everything I've learnt and learn it all again and knowing
that, can you? I can just imagine going back
like you hit a point and then all of a sudden you just get
rewinded back to being 18. Yeah, I look back on my 18 year
(26:41):
old self and like she had so much growing to do and even even
think about like my relationshipthat I was in at that time and I
was, I don't think I was should have been in a relationship to
be honest. I was so mature.
I but again, depends on what influences you at that time.
(27:03):
Well, that's exactly right too. I know I was the same.
I was really, I found, I feel like I, I found like a level of
my confidence in year 12. And there are things that I,
there were decisions that I madethat I wish that I hadn't.
And in hindsight, there are, yeah, we all the immaturity's
there. And that's what kicks us up the
arse, I reckon, and just teachesus a lesson later on in life
(27:26):
that goes, well, you know, whatever you do, decisions you
make, it's OK. You're allowed to make mistakes.
And they're not mistakes becausethey're honest.
You know, you've, you've learnt from them.
And I think that's the difference.
If you're going to make a mistake, if you learn from it,
that's nothing but a contribution to your growth as a
person. Yeah.
(27:47):
And gosh, I don't know. I kind of think about, I kind of
begin to comprehend what 18 yearold Jules look like.
Jeez. But I think that is one thing I
have definitely learned is that in life, as bad as it sounds,
you need to have that heartbreak.
Oh, absolutely. You need that to grow.
People that haven't had that emotional heartbreak of like, I
don't know, breaking up with their first love or having a
(28:09):
fallout with the best friend or anything like that.
I dumped my cap because like as much as I hate that hated that
feeling, I still also feel like you need it.
Oh, it is. I couldn't agree more, couldn't
agree more. And to feel that that
(28:30):
vulnerability, that pain. That is whole life is imploding,
yeah. And you know what I was talking?
I was talking to a close friend about this recently.
He said to me, yeah, you've got to sit in it.
You've got to feel it. Yeah, you have to.
That sad, shitty feeling. You have to sit in it.
(28:53):
Yeah. And that reminds you that you're
alive because that is the that is the closest thing that I
reckon science can justify as a feeling of love.
Yeah. You know that you've loved when
you can feel that level of pain that's beyond physical pain.
Yeah. It's like a numbing, soul
(29:14):
crushing stillness. Yeah.
Of overwhelm. It looks different for
everybody. But I know that that grief,
depending, regardless of how long it went for, regardless of.
But just knowing that you can allow yourself to feel that
grief and move on and and and not necessarily move on, move
(29:35):
forward in life and leave that chapter where it was is a hard
thing. Yeah.
Is a very, very hard thing. So I couldn't agree more.
You don't. You haven't lived, I reckon,
until you've felt those feelings.
Yeah. And you'll realise like when
something good comes into your life that yeah, this is, this
(29:57):
is, this is the two handed burger.
This is. This is the whopper.
I'm not. Saying that, you get the.
Whopper, Exactly. You're not gonna stand Mike.
It's Yeah, no, that's his vulnerability.
And I really, I would, I would do anything to try and help
people. This is where I'm really keen
(30:17):
with my mental health, just to help them understand that I
understand why people run around, want to run away from
it. Yes, I get it.
People don't want to feel sad because people associate sad
with bad. Yes, sad is bad.
Yeah. And I mean, in saying that as
someone who has had depression and still occasionally deals
(30:41):
with depression, you do go through those stages of, you
know, feeling good enough that the whole world is crashing
around you. And it could be his bad as it
sounds. It could be as like a little as
like something didn't go right that day.
Or you'd be having the best timeof your life and then that one
little. Trigger.
Trigger a little thought comes into your head and ruins the
(31:02):
whole thing. But I guess it's just trying to
find positives out of it. Yeah, but also remembering what
you've you have been through. You've been through worse.
Yes. There is, I mean, insane that
the thought of it just came intomy head that like The Simpsons
(31:23):
Movie where Paul Bart is standing there in just a T-shirt
with Eddie's pants and he goes, this is the worst day ever.
And Homer looks and goes, this is the worst day ever so far.
Yeah. But also, there's a lot of
better days coming. Well.
That's it. That's I think a really powerful
(31:45):
message. I remember that.
The worst day of your life so far.
Jesus, you put him in this position.
Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.
No, no, it's on the on the back of that.
And thank you for sharing that, Sarah, because that's very,
that's a very sensitive topic. I know.
And I know I too have. I've had my moments with
(32:09):
depression too, and anxiety surrounding it, and I think it's
amazing when you can label certain feelings, whether you've
been overwhelmed or burnt out. And I remember just sitting
there and going, maybe, maybe I'm depressed.
Yeah, maybe. Maybe, I'm not sure.
Is this what depression looks like?
(32:30):
Yeah, I didn't realise that I had such anxiety that I do and I
guess have that level of depression that I had at the
time until I had that big, I hada big breakdown.
And it ended up being that because I'm so bad at bottling
(32:52):
up my emotions and because I don't know, in my brain, I feel
like it's easier for me to keep it to myself than being a
burden. Put that in quotation marks, a
burden on someone else. And it wasn't until I had that
big breakdown going, oh shit, I probably should actually do
something about this or I shouldgo talk to someone.
(33:15):
Like it's easy to talk to your friends.
It's easy to talk to your familyor even like you know, your
significant other. But at the same time, if you're
not communicating the full storyor if you're going down the
thing of what I was doing of, oh, I don't want to burden them
with it, Yeah, you won't help yourself.
(33:38):
And you get to the point where you have that big breakdown.
But also, sometimes it's nice tohave a big breakdown, yeah.
Well, that's it too. And I think I admire that you
acknowledge getting that neutralperspective as well, because we
all want to turn to people that we love.
And sometimes that burden, that feeling good people tend to
(34:02):
blame themselves and put the burden on themselves more than
anyone. And that's because they feel,
and that's the thing I can sharein that feeling of not wanting
to burn other people and holdingon to that to the extent that it
makes you feel like, well, it's a constant walking on egg
(34:22):
shells. I can't do anything right.
What's next? That uncertainty and that
snowball? It just starts to constantly
build over time. And I think we sometimes take on
(34:43):
the shortcomings of others in our lives, too.
Was that sort of the feeling that you had that there were
things that were going on and you felt like you were to blame?
It wasn't more that I was to blame.
I think it was more that people have their own stuff going on
and they don't need to hear about mine.
I'm I'm really bad at that. Like it's, it's sometimes good
(35:06):
to talk about like to give otherpeople perspective, you know,
being able to say like, I don't know, for example, one of my
friends goes, oh, I've been really damned lately this and
this has been happening in my life.
And instead of like doing the conversation of like, oh, I feel
you. I've had the similar thing
happen last week, you know, blah, blah.
Instead it's like, oh, OK, yeah,you know, that's cool.
(35:29):
I'm not going to talk about what's going on in my life
because you've got enough going on.
But in saying that, it's also trying to find your support
network. As well.
Yeah, I've thought about this key wave when someone would
share that and asking about how someone is, because I know
actually a lot of us can you can, you can after time.
(35:50):
I think as we get older, we can see it.
We can feel it. We can see it in someone's eyes.
Yeah. I think, you know, when
something's gone wrong, it's howyou know, how do you feel about
that? Like if something's happened,
how do you feel about it? You know, like any interaction
(36:10):
you might have with someone, if someone's come to you and
they've said something, they've gone and you've saved the
reaction that you had internallyto what was external.
The internal reaction was gut dropping, but the external was
sort of like, I'm going to dismiss this and paint over it
and make it seem like it's all OK to alleviate the conflict and
(36:31):
not create a disagreement. Because naturally when you're a
good person and you don't want to create disappointment, well,
that's that's that whole surrounding, yeah, I'm not
angry. I'm disappointed.
No one wants to disappoint anybody.
It's like it's easier to be angry than it is to be
disappointed. When you hear disappointment,
you're like, oh fuck, fuck, that's bang.
(36:54):
Yeah, that's like, oh, where do I sit now?
It's yeah, it's a really, reallycomplex.
And I've sort of thought about that in conversation.
If you can simply navigate that.And when you're listening and
asking, it's like, OK, well, howdo you, how do you feel about
it? How do you feel about this?
(37:15):
How do you feel right now? Like, what is it?
That's if you could explain how you're feeling right now, what
would be the first emotion that would come to mind?
You know, is it sad? Is it confused?
Is it betrayed? Is it, you know, there's so many
different things and when you can label those feelings and you
can sort of find a way to whether it's writing it down,
(37:37):
whether it's practising some form of mindfulness and
labelling those thoughts and feelings or God.
I've noticed that there are somepeople in our lives that we do
have to like. If there are people that 'cause
you a great level of grief in life, like I know I've shared
with you recently that I've had that happen in my life and I've
(38:00):
had to let go of that. Yeah.
It's almost as though it's not the love that you don't hold for
that person. It's just that person.
And what they have to how they show up in your life is not
serving you in a positive way. And.
I feel like going off that it's also learning if you've
outgrown. Relationships, yeah.
(38:21):
I mean, you know, there were so many people that I was friends
with throughout school and things like that.
And there's that thing of like, you know, your friendship's
going different ways, and it's also realising you might have
outgrown that friendship or even, yeah, your values don't
align anymore. No changes over time.
And it's easier to. It's better to distance
(38:42):
yourself. But then also there's other
times, like, I mean, for us in for example, like we met, we
were in high school, we had sortof that break in between being
like, I think we were like, you know, 18 to 21 or something.
Yeah, It was around that time, yeah.
And I just remember reconnecting, Yeah.
And I was just like, I really love spending time with Sarah.
(39:04):
Yeah. I really, I think we gel.
I think that we have, we really,we're really good friends.
And it's sort of like it always,it was there.
It was more like time just had to take its course and being
able to have that quality time with you in, you know, hanging
(39:24):
out in party spaces and just like, yeah, sharing those
conversations and hang. It was all just that.
It was all like any foundation of a friendship.
It's just that level of understanding and wanting to
sort of build on that. And I remember that.
I remember it really well. I'm trying to think when because
(39:46):
we definitely met through one ofour mutual friends.
Yeah, and. I'm pretty sure it was her 21st.
We caught up again. Yeah, it was too, wasn't it?
I'm trying to think who was there.
That's right. Because I OK, I remember one of
the first times I met you, it was at Yeah, her. 16th. 16th And
(40:10):
I had control of the music for some reason.
That's right. Oh God.
And I think I put on Queen and. You did, Can you?
Please put on radio Gaga. And I was like, absolutely.
That's right. Yeah.
So these little things. So we, gosh, we've been, we've
been friends for far longer thanI realised.
(40:31):
Yeah. We've known each other for ages,
Yeah. Ages and ages, yeah.
And I think that's the thing. I felt that I felt that warmth
in our friendship from the very beginning and that understanding
and that's that's how things flourish in life.
I'm starting to understand that's why people are in your
(40:51):
life. Yeah.
Is because they care and becausethat you can find an
understanding and a mutual respect and and and and love and
care for each other because it'sit it just feels like it's
natural. Naturally you gravitate to
people and some people you don't.
And that all stems from values. Yeah.
And how we've been brought up and I can tell because I know
(41:15):
the conversations of being able to sit there with your buddy
parents till 3:00 in the morningtalking, even if that involves a
couple of drinks, it doesn't matter.
Like we all like, it's just likeit's just easy.
Yeah, it's easy. And I feel like that's what
every every friendship should belike.
It's it's easy. It's I don't, I don't
(41:36):
communication and and it being just easy and just amazing, just
fulfilling. I think that's yeah.
And I know I can say this wholeheartedly.
You are one of the only people Ifeel like I can talk about
everything and anything from, like, politics, Yeah, religion,
The two topics that you really don't need to talk about, we can
talk about. Yeah.
(41:56):
Exactly. And that's, that's, I feel the
same way about you. And that's, that's it.
It's it's like an extra step of,of vulnerability that you can't
talk to everybody about. Yeah, because a lot of people
will get very, you're right, they will get really dismissive.
But I think that's the one thingthey tell people.
Never talk about politics, nevertalk about religion, never talk.
(42:16):
But why? I think it's because people have
just such vast views. Yeah, I mean.
Especially at the moment with how the world is, yeah, I feel
like that. Like as soon as I hear people
start and talk about politics, Ido tend to go no.
You know where it's going to go,and I get it.
But I think as well that it's a level of respect as well.
(42:40):
And I think that the issue is there's it's awareness and it's
respect. And I think that's what's
important more than anything is that.
Yeah. You know, people are going to
disagree on all sorts of things,and that's fine.
Yeah, that's all good. It's whether or not you can sit
there, look at that person in the eye, whether or not you have
(43:01):
the same. If you if you perceive that
ideology in a negative or positive light and you can go, I
respect you, but I disagree. Yeah.
But then at the same time it depending on who you're talking
to, it's like, do you? Really want to open up that
camera exactly, exactly. Well, that's that's exactly what
it is. And I think we all want to
(43:24):
create a sense of peace in in each other's lives.
I mean, I know I do. I know that you consciously,
consciously want to do that. Yeah.
And you hear about hate speech and you hear about all the
horrible shit that happens on inthe world right now.
And it doesn't help that at all.But, yeah, I think it, it is
(43:46):
really like a a testament to to us as friends that we can
communicate that way, We can communicate openly.
And I think that's, gosh, it's, you can wonder why a lot of
friendships, relationships into connections, people breakdown.
Yeah. And I'm guilty of it.
(44:08):
Absolutely. Some of the closest people in my
life that I've haven't known what to do.
Yeah, in a situation I haven't ran away, but I have, I've
cowered and I've, I've, I've been absolutely terrified
because I've felt unequipped. Yeah, to deal with that.
And I think it also depends on the people's demeanour, like I.
(44:29):
Remember. Someone was saying like we went
to different high schools and they were saying that they had
two different sets of friends. They had friends that they could
pretty much just more be themselves around, but at the
same time they weren't the best people to hang around.
With supportive people, yeah. But then there was another group
(44:50):
that they were better people, but because they had different
views on things, they also made them feel dumb.
So it was sort of like that thing of, oh, these people
aren't the greatest, but they make me feel good.
They make I can be comfortable around them, but then it's like,
oh, these people are better to be around, but I also don't feel
(45:13):
like I'm up to scratch. Do you feel like they were a bit
of a chameleon? Like they had to sort of fit in
with one more than the other in order to sort of maintain it.
I don't know honestly. I mean, I think it was also
maybe just joined by what other people thought of them.
(45:34):
Yeah. Like it looked like from the
outside, it's like, oh, they're hanging around with these
people, so they must be good people.
Oh, blah, blah. Was hanging around with this
person. Like, what do you think they're
up to? I don't know but.
That was high. School, like, I feel like your
relationships in high school, the people who are in high
school are so different because again, as we were saying, you
know, you get that level of maturity.
(45:56):
You find yourself who you are. You find your people.
You do. You really do.
I couldn't agree more. I look back at like everything
and I think about people that wewere at up in Port Douglas with
together. And right now, the main person
(46:21):
right now in my life who I'm still in really good contact
without of everybody there, is yourself.
Yeah. I was about to say the same.
Thing and that's such a beautiful thing and I know
that's just life and that's nothing against anyone.
That's simply the way that the cookies crumbled.
Yeah, it's not as though with some of those lovely people that
you wouldn't be able to pick up where you left off.
It's simply just a piece of lifeand everybody's on a different
(46:44):
journey. Everyone has different
aspirations and different priorities and values as well.
Yeah. Some people might not have
valued that connection as much as you did.
Yeah. And as brutal as that sounds,
that's just reality. Like I've, I've at some, at one
(47:05):
point, I couldn't imagine those people not in my life.
Yeah. And what can you do?
You can't do anything about it if someone doesn't like.
Yeah, that's, that's just the the natural ebb and flow of the
ocean, isn't it? It's just, it just keeps going.
Yeah, it's crazy. It is absolutely bananas to
(47:28):
think that that amount of time has gone by and just.
Yeah, adulting. Oh yeah, apparently.
Go in the bin. Oh no, I don't want.
To be an adult anymore. Oh, no, it's like what?
(47:49):
You know, that's actually reallythat's that's another topic in
itself. There are people I know who are
double our age who I wouldn't call adults.
Oh yeah. Which is, isn't it?
Isn't it interesting? I think it's a choice.
Yeah. I mean, I mean, sometimes even
saying like, what, like my parents or some of their friends
(48:12):
do. And I'm like, hang on, you're
like 60. What are you doing?
Yeah. I've seen, I've seen like
younger, like younger kids, young adults, like 17 year olds
who are more, like 10 times moremature in their approach to
life. Yeah.
And wise, like, wiser than like 30 year olds.
(48:34):
Yeah. Because they're just engaged and
in touch. Yeah, life and their emotional
awareness and they're like is through the roof, yeah.
And that's a credit to their upbringing for sure.
But. It's also you don't fully know
what else has gone on in their. Lives exactly to have them.
(48:57):
Yeah, I think that's one of the big things.
Especially now in 2025 that we do tend to look at more of like
I guess childhood trauma, yes, and.
Absolutely. How that has shaped just and all
that sort of thing, but I don't know, I it's even just not
(49:19):
taking life so seriously. I feel like that's the other
thing we need to kind of remember, you know, yes, it's
easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing, but you
don't need to take life so seriously, no.
I agree. And I think it's very, it's sad
that you can see a lot of peopleget so caught up in that all the
time. Don't get me wrong.
(49:39):
Life is challenging, guys. Life is.
Yeah. What can we say at 26 and 27?
Well, you'll, you will. You'll feel as much as you're
willing to suffer. Yeah.
And suffering is a part of if you care for anything in your
life, you're going to suffer regardless.
(50:02):
Just sorry, yeah. It's brutal, but it's.
Brutal, but yeah, the court of Harry Potter.
You're going to suffer, but you're going to be happy.
I love that it's a wonky cross. Well, that means pain and
suffering, so. You're gonna suffer, but you're
gonna be. Happy about it.
(50:29):
The Grimm, The Grimm The Grimm What's the Grimm?
The. Grimm.
One of the darkest omens in our world omen death.
Literally it's. I'm starting to understand that
philosophically, that is literally that pain that you
feel in that heartbreak is because you cared.
(50:52):
You genuinely loved and you cared.
You gave a piece of yourself to someone else energetically,
spiritually, that person had that part of you.
And now that tie has been severed.
Well, it's as severed as much asyou're willing to sever it and
some. And I think that's it's, it's
(51:16):
very sad. It's very, very sad.
Potential that is unrealized is devastating.
Yeah, it is devastating. It's like losing a life.
It's like losing someone. It is, it is, it is the the
feeling of grief. And this is the feeling that
I've sort of correlated, I think.
How would it feel like to go through a divorce with someone
you've been married to for like 20 years?
(51:38):
I feel like even, I don't know, people that have even gone
through divorce after like a year or two years and going
through a thing of that whole commitment sort of ceremony and
then going shit, what have I done?
Like. I meant nothing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's also same with certain
(52:02):
relationships, like being with someone for so long or being so
used to having that person. Person there.
Yeah. Yeah, that dependency in a
healthy way. In a healthy way, but yeah.
Or not realising the red flags and then when you know that rose
coloured glass suddenly shattersand going.
(52:24):
Why did I deal with that for so long?
Yeah, it's, it's really fascinating that you mentioned
that and I think. Who said this?
It was actually from Spider Man.It was from Spider Man.
(52:48):
From Spider Man. Yeah, it was.
It was. It was Spider Man 3, Tobey
Maguire and the Aunt May in thatone.
And she said it's about how thatperson makes you feel about
yourself. That's also like one of my
favourite things from I'm. Sure it was that.
Don't quote me on that, but sounds like a quote.
(53:11):
One of my favourite things from Perks.
Bit of wallflower. Yeah.
You accept the love you think you deserve.
Deserve. Yeah.
I sort of stand by. I've sort of like replay that in
my yeah, a few times. Like when something, you know,
doesn't quite align with me, I'mlike, you know, why am I dealing
with this sort of thing? Yeah.
And then I'm like, oh, that's because I think I deserve that.
(53:35):
But then at the same time, you finally work out what it all is.
Ended up being a huge miscommunication because nine
times out of 10, I didn't listenproperly or my brain went
somewhere. Wasn't into overthinking.
And that's, and that's, you knowwhat overthinking is a sign of a
really gentle heart filled soul.That's the truth.
(54:00):
Yeah. When you overthink, it's because
you care. Yeah.
And because you really. Yeah.
It's intention. And if you set that intention
for yourself, I think that is somuch more important.
You set that intention that, youknow, you didn't want to do
this. You didn't want to do that.
How did it get to this point? Yeah.
You know, let's go back. Let's dial it back.
(54:22):
Yeah. Was it something I said or was
it something I did? Yeah.
Two separate things. But also that ends up being like
the thing I'm overthinking aboutbecause, you know, a slight
change in the vibe and I'm like,what'd I do?
Did I say something? And it ends up being just as
simple as like, no, I'm just chilling.
(54:43):
You know what? And this is the thing, I think
it's when you can, because I've had these moments myself.
It's when you think that what's going on is your responsibility.
You take responsibility, but straight away.
Yeah. Because if I don't, no one else
will. Yeah.
And it's like, it's real, but it's it's hot.
(55:04):
It's a shit feeling. Yeah.
Shit sits with you like, well, Idon't, I don't want this to get
to there. So I'm going to just going to
take it. Yeah, I'm just going to take it
straight away. I'm just going to take it
Happens to me. It's happened to me a lot in the
past. And that filling of egg shells
again, I it's like, how can we build this?
(55:30):
I'm not going to say it's a fearless approach, but it's that
reassurance within ourselves andthat belief within ourselves
that what we do is never intended for ABC or D to occur.
Yeah. In a negative way.
(55:51):
You know, your intention matters.
Your intention is everything. If you intended to do good and
the outcome was not so good, that's not on you.
Yeah, if you can put that energyout into the world and it's it's
good energy and it's not returnable, that's fine.
Yeah, that's OK. I think it's accepting that not
feeling like it's that idea of rejection.
(56:14):
Rejection is the most cooked thing I think we can, one of the
most horrible things we experience going through life.
And it's constant. Yeah.
It's constantly occurring in life.
Constantly. That safety is like it's taken
away the moment that occurs. Yeah.
But I like to say that it's rejection is redirection.
(56:34):
You need it to grow. Exactly.
Yeah, exactly. And I think, yeah, no, those
situations, gosh, when you can, yeah, sit with someone that you
love and then feel as though you've done something wrong and
you just want to alleviate it. You just want to alleviate.
You're like, no, I don't. I don't, I don't want to feel
(56:55):
this. Don't want to go through this.
Just just yeah. But then you're like, shut up,
brain. You don't even know what you're
talking about. You don't even know what's going
on. Yeah.
Does it come from here? Does it come from there?
Yeah. What are you saying?
What's this saying? You're right, man.
All right. What are you saying?
No, I'll fix it. And I was like, yeah.
But what's there to fix? Nothing.
(57:16):
Nothing. Yeah, there is nothing to fix.
You're fine. Yeah.
It's like. But sometimes you do need that
reassurance. Oh, absolutely, absolutely.
And that's reassurance is essential, I think if you need,
if you need it, if that's something you feel that you
need, I think everyone should. And that's it.
That's communication itself. Reassurance is extremely
(57:38):
important. Yeah.
I feel like it's something that I wish that I had a lot more in
in my relationships throughout the years.
Yeah. Yeah.
It comes into communication, allof it.
You know, we're all trying to work towards being more secure
human beings within ourselves. And I was listening to, I know
(57:59):
this goes down a rabbit hole of attachment theory.
I love it. I love it.
My brain just can't absorb enough information when it comes
down to it. But this whole idea that when we
talk about codependency independence, it's not a bad
thing to depend on your partner.Yeah.
(58:23):
Because essentially there are, there is, you are attached in a,
in a very unique way. Yeah.
So that dependency in what that looks like is unique for
everybody, you know, whether that's going to hold their hand
(58:43):
when you're feeling anxious or terrified.
Yeah. Or like just unsafe, these
little things. Yeah.
Phone calls, text messages, small 1% are gestures like tiny
little things. I've noticed that those are the
things that make up as little idiosyncrasies, as Robin
(59:06):
Williams would say. Yeah, it's as little
idiosyncrasies that you know about that person that makes all
the difference. It makes all the difference to
both of your lives. Yeah.
Because you know that person intimately more than in a way
that no one else could understand.
It's quite. Yeah.
It's quite interesting, yeah. Look at you going all down and
(59:32):
learning. It's funny why I feel like I
can't really have an opinion because I haven't been able to
sustain like a really healthy relationship.
But also, a healthy relationshipis different for everyone.
That's not true. The people say, oh, a healthy
relationship doesn't have XYZ orit has to have XYZ.
(59:52):
Yeah. It's expectations.
But every relationship with everyone is that you're into.
Is different, Yeah. It's not going to be the same.
Like I've had this conversation with my friends as well.
It's like, oh what this person just did You know what your
boyfriend or whatever I just didto you?
That is like super controlling and it's like, what do you mean
(01:00:12):
that's super controlling? I don't find that controlling.
Yeah, see what one might find tobe controlling, the other might
find to be well. Yeah.
Just it. Yeah.
It just is what it is. Yeah.
And if I didn't like it, I wouldhave said something about it.
Yeah, that's it. But then also there is that
thing of like, I guess it's always, there's always another
(01:00:33):
side to it. Like of course someone needs to
say that in order for you to wake up and see that idiot.
But but that's life. There's always two sides to
every emotion story. What do they say?
Every rose has its owns, yeah. Yeah.
But yeah, it's very, very true. Well.
(01:00:56):
I hope yeah, this end up being more this actually have been a
good conversation about like mental health and.
Everything it has, it has. Yeah, it's, I know it's
something very close to our heart from whether it's lived
experience or just total respectfor people that struggle with it
or are experiencing something intheir lives that is not so
pleasant, that awareness. Yeah, yeah.
(01:01:18):
So this is like just our experience.
And not. Saying it's a be or end all or
anything like that. And I think that's the other
side. People go, oh, really?
My experience it was this and this.
And it's like, yeah, but that was yours.
Yeah, exactly. But.
Yeah, sharing. Sharing is caring.
Exactly, exactly, not exactly, exactly, exactly.
(01:01:44):
Well, this has been a very special episode of Spill the
Human and we can't wait to have you guys along for our journey
as we venture into this uncharted water of spilling tea
and spilling the stories that must be told.
(01:02:07):
And keeping the good vibes. Exactly.
Even though you do talk about heavy stuff like we did today,
but yeah, it's still, yeah. We have to maintain positivity
and optimism, and we will. We assure you that we will, and
we'll keep the cynicism to a minimum, but we'll not defer or
deter from being real. That is what is most important.
(01:02:30):
It's been real, It's been real. Let's spill it.
This has been spill the. Human.
Thank you, happy humans, for tuning into today's episode of
(01:02:50):
Spill the Human. If you enjoyed the show, please
go ahead and give it a thumbs up.
Leave a comment and make sure tofollow us wherever you get the
podcast. We appreciate you, we see you.
We'll catch you next time. Until then, stay calmed, stay
curious, and most of all, stay here.
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