14 Surprisingly Meaningful Ways to Honor Loved Ones in Spirit (Holiday or Anytime)

Episode Transcript
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Unknown (00:01):
Joy. Hey, beautiful soul, welcome to spirit. Speak
Easy. I'm Joy Giovanni, joyfulmedium. I'm a working psychic
medium, energy healer andspiritual gifts mentor. This
podcast is like a seat at thetable in a secret club, but with
mediums, mystics and thespiritual luminaries of our
time. So come behind the velvetropes with me and see inside my

(00:24):
world as I chat insider stylewith profoundly gifted souls, we
go deep, share juicy stories,laugh a lot, and it wouldn't be
a speakeasy without greatinsider secrets and tips. You
might even learn that you havesome gifts of your own so step
inside the spirit speakeasy.
Hey, beautiful soul. Welcomeback for another episode of

(00:47):
spirit speakeasy. Today'sepisode is for you. If you are
carrying a loved one in yourheart and you're wondering, what
do I actually do with this? Howdo I honor them in a way that
feels real and meaningfulwithout doing the same 10 things
everyone always suggests ortalks about. If the holidays
feel a little complicated foryou, you are not alone. This

(01:10):
season can stir up joy and cozymoments and connection, and it
can also stir up grief oremptiness and that quiet ache of
missing someone who's notphysically here in the same way
anymore. We're not about makingbasic lists of light a candle
and visit their burial site andlook at old photos. Here, I'm

(01:32):
looking for new and exciting,interesting and heartfelt ways
to celebrate your loved ones.
Those typical ways can bebeautiful, of course, but you've
probably heard that list 100times. This conversation today
is really about deeper, morecreative, more intuitive ways to
weave your loved ones into youreveryday life, into this season
and into who you're continuingto become yourself as a soul in

(01:56):
this experience. In thisepisode, I'm going to share
three tiers of ideas, firstsimple, everyday, inexpensive
practices that you can startimmediately, even on a very low
energy day. Then a set of mediumcreative ideas that use
intention and symbolism inreally beautiful ways. And then

(02:18):
some more elaborate or legacylevel rituals for when you feel
ready for something deeper.
These things like creating aliving memory shelf, crafting
essence inspired playlists thatfeel like them, making a legacy
box for future generations, evenan idea of a spirit dinner or

(02:40):
potluck, where every dishrepresents a piece of their
personality. We will also talkabout grief honestly. Grief
doesn't follow the calendar. Itdoesn't only show up in
December, and I will give yousome gentle caveats when it
comes to things like dreams andasking for guidance from your

(03:01):
loved ones, so that you are notputting pressure on yourself or
on your loved ones in the spiritworld, so as a working medium,
one of the things I hear fromSpirit people, those on the
other side again and again, isthat they don't want us to feel
stuck in pain or Guilt orsuffering. They love being
remembered, and they do alsolove when we honor them by

(03:25):
living, because the soul, likelove, never dies. It lives on in
different ways. We can choose tohonor them by bringing forward
their essence, their lessons andsometimes even their regrets, in
a way that lets us, who arestill here in the living live
more fully. So if you're lookingfor fresh, soulful ways to honor

(03:47):
your person this season, andyou're tired of the same list
everyone shares, take a breath,get comfy, and let's dive in
together. So let's start withwhat I like to call the easy,
everyday ideas. These are thingsthat you probably are already
doing a segment of, that don'trequire any special supplies or

(04:09):
big emotional capacity. They aresimple things that you can do on
an ordinary Tuesday in yourregular life, and they still
create a real sense of deepconnection. The first one is
something I absolutely love, andI use all the time myself
because it's so simple andpowerful. This first suggestion

(04:30):
is about creating a micromoments of them ritual. So how
can we create our own micromoments of our person, our loved
one on the other side, this is asimple one. You pick a daily
moment, your first sip of tea inthe morning, turning on a lamp
in the evening, opening thewindows, and silently dedicate

(04:52):
that moment to them. It's like aprivate, sacred practice that
threads them into your everydaylife. The. Main concept for this
suggestion is choosing a tiny,everyday action that you already
do, something that you don'teven have to think about, and
silently dedicating it to,pausing and thinking about your

(05:13):
special person in the otherside, in this moment, it's not a
big ritual, it's not a ceremony,just micro acknowledgements.
This can be something that youdo daily, like throughout your
day. It can be something thatyou do weekly, or just whenever
you feel called. It can besomething that they used to do,
something that reminds you ofthem, or simply a moment you

(05:36):
already know that you naturallytake a pause. So I'm going to
give you some quick examples onthis one, but this is a great
one, because it's the mostflexible. It's not like you're
trying to remember to dosomething every single day and
as a little pro tip, sometimesit helps when we attach a
tradition or a habit orsomething we're trying to create

(05:59):
to something we're already doingjust because we're already doing
that thing, and it's so mucheasier to create another habit
alongside a habit that wealready do, like brushing your
teeth, for example. So I'm goingto give you some super quick and
easy examples here, andhopefully you'll start thinking
about those little, micromoments that you do in your day
to day life, that you couldpause, take a breath and think

(06:21):
about your loved one at the sametime. Again. These are super
simple ways to integrate them.
Think about taking that firstsip of tea or coffee in the
morning, or even that processlike I don't know about you, but
I put some things in my coffeein the morning, so even as
you're pouring that milk orcreamer or whatever sweeteners
you're using as you're stirringit together, that can all be

(06:42):
part of this micro moment, or itcan just be the first sip. It
can be something like switchingon the lamps in the evening in
your space, wherever you are,and taking that moment as you're
turning on those lamps, even ifit's a click of a button on an
app to just imagine saying alittle Hello, or a little I love
you to that loved one on theother side. It could be

(07:02):
something like opening theblinds in the morning. I
definitely do that. I try tooften open my Windows if it's
not too cold, too so it could bein that moment. It can be when
you're washing your hands. Youknow, some people, if you've
ever, taught little kids to washtheir hands, I taught my kids
with singing the happy birthdaysong twice for the amount of
time they needed to wash theirhands. Maybe you're saying a

(07:24):
little hello to your loved onethe spirit world during that
time when you're washing yourhands, or singing a little
jingle to them, or even likesomething that they would always
say, just kind of mentallyrepeating that as a little
moment of pause. It can be whenyou start your car, when you're
putting on your shoes, whenyou're taking your vitamins. If
you are someone who lights likea salt lamp or a diffuser, you

(07:46):
might even think about pausingand making this a general moment
to say hello to all of yourloved ones and ancestors, like
every time you light that candlein the day or evening or start
that scented oil diffuser orsalt lamp purification or even
an air purifier. Just thinkingof all of your ancestors and

(08:06):
giving just a moment ofacknowledgement and love and
appreciation, it can be I have acouple more specific examples
with little stories for you. Onthis one, putting on hand lotion
before bed. I know some peoplelike to do that. I have a
friend, actually, who's they?
Have an auntie in the spiritworld who was very attentive to
her skincare. I'm sure we allknow ladies like this, or even

(08:30):
gentlemen. And she alwaysreminded her niece, my friend,
to use her sunscreen to coverher skin from the sun, to wear a
hat to stay up on. You know, heryouthfulness and taking care of
her skin. And this woman alwaysknew the latest skin secrets.
And my friend still has a verysimple routine herself, but when

(08:50):
she washes her face and puts onlotion in the evening, she says
a little hello to that aunt andcan she says she can almost feel
this Auntie smiling back inapproval of this gentle care
that she's taking of her skin,even though it's her super
simple routine for her. I hadanother friend whose grandpa was
very superstitious. And when wewould ride in the car with him,

(09:13):
anytime he drove the car overrailroad tracks, he would touch
the ceiling, like the insideceiling of the car, and he would
say, for luck. And so she grewup doing this with him. I
witnessed it often as well. Andafter his passing, whenever she
found herself driving overrailroad tracks, she would
naturally want to touch theceiling. And she even just

(09:35):
sometimes says it to herself, ifthere's other people in the car,
but she kind of whispers toherself, like, Hi grandpa, for
luck. So it can be somethingvery simple, like that. This is
such a powerful practice,because it threads the presence
of your loved one gently intoyour day without making grief
too heavy in these moments, andbecause it's attached to

(09:55):
something you already do, it'seasy to remember and keep up on.
It creates a. Insistent, warmanchor point that says, I
remember you. I carry you.
Hello. I'm thinking about you. Ilove you. And it flows right
along with the way that spiritpeople often connect through
ordinary moments and very rarelyconnect in these big, dramatic

(10:16):
experiences and displays. Thatconnection continues, really in
all of the moments in our lives,but we can be especially aware
of them in the quieter moments.
Okay. Number two, this next oneI want to talk about is wearing
something in honor of them. Thisis like a symbolic, intuitive

(10:36):
connection that doesn't requirehaving their actual belongings.
So before you say, Wait, I don'thave anything that belonged to
this person. This really, theconcept here is about choosing
an item that you wear or carrythat represents who this person
is to you or what they love, orsomething that they taught you.
For example, it doesn't have tobe something that they owned. It

(11:00):
can be chosen entirely for itssymbolism, like something you
just choose. And this isespecially meaningful for people
who, like I said, don't have aphysical item of their loved
one, or who prefer subtleeveryday reminders that, like no
one else would even know wassomething of their loved ones.
How does this one work? Thisone's really easy. So in order

(11:23):
to wear something in honor ofyour loved one, you essentially
just pick an item and designateit as your connection item. So
this becomes your personal wayof holding them close throughout
Of course, holiday season or anytime you need to feel connected
to them. I'm going to give yousome examples, because this one,
as well as the first one, youcan be as creative as you want.

(11:45):
So it could be as simple as youwearing an item that is the
color that they loved, just tohold on to a little piece of
them or carry their memory. Itcould be like a little
handkerchief or a pocket square.
It could be a sweater, it couldbe a scarf. It could be a piece
of jewelry that's that color. Itcould be socks. It could be
anything. It can be a texture orfabric that reminds you of them,
like really stretching thisidea. So like, if they are

(12:08):
someone who's very soft andnurturing, maybe you have a
special warm sweater that feelscozy, like their personality, or
maybe they were strong and bold,and leather makes you think of
them. So maybe you have aleather jacket or a belt or a
wrist cuff that makes you feelthe memory of the energy of how

(12:28):
they are as a person. It can befun socks, right? So it doesn't
have to just be the color ofsocks. It can be a fun sock that
reminds you of them or fitstheir energy, their personality,
like, if they were playful, youcould choose something that's
like, a really playful pattern,but it can be something you
actually enjoy, like littlecorgis or something, if that's

(12:49):
your favorite type of dog. Soit's, it's the essence of them
being represented in theplayfulness of the sock. But the
the little decorations areactually something that you
enjoy. You don't have to wearsomething that you don't like.
It can be something like a smallpiece of jewelry that makes you
feel their style or theirpersonality. I actually do this

(13:09):
one quite often. I have a friendthat I'm thinking of in
particular on the other side whowore really bold, chunky silver
like rings and bold necklacesthat were carved or adorned with
big stones. And I have a fewrings, bigger stone rings that I

(14:28):
wear that I choose on days whenI want to bring this friend with
me.
But someone who has, like, forexample, a brother who is
adventurous that's on the otherside might wear a simple leather
bracelet because it carriesbold, grounded energy, or onyx
or like that lava stone, becauseit's grounding and earthy,

(14:51):
right? So I do mine in big,chunky jewelry, because that
just represents my friend. Imean, I could easily do a
leather cuff for this specificfriend, but hopefully you're
getting the vibe of what I mean,and it doesn't have to do
anything with them at all. Itcan be a perfume or a scented
oil that reminds you of them. Itcould be a scent tied to a
vacation that you shared, or atime in your lives, or simply

(15:13):
their vibe or personality. Ifthey were woodsy and grounded,
maybe you choose a scent that'smore earthy. If they loved roses
or gave you roses, maybe a softrose scent of like an oil and a
diffuser or perfume. Could be agood way to carry them or
remember them. It could be acrystal that holds qualities
that they had a pin or a charmon your purse or bag, even if

(15:38):
it's tucked inside where onlyyou see it. It might be a pin
related to a hobby like Disneyor a specific flag or a sport
that is so little that no oneelse would notice it, or even
like a small blue ribbon tied orpinned to the inside of a zipper
because they loved the ocean,for example, it can be a hair
accessory or a nail color thatmirrors their. Vibe or their

(16:01):
personality, or like a hat, orlike a T shirt or a hoodie and a
color or a pattern thatsymbolizes them, even without a
picture or a quote, you canchoose something based on what
they always encouraged, like ifthey wanted you to, if it was
like a grandma that was alwayslike, oh, make sure you dress
more. Make sure you bring alayer. You could maybe have a

(16:22):
cozy scarf that you use torepresent her personality. If
they love travel, maybe it'slike a travel themed keychain,
even if it's not something thatthey gave you or from a trip,
just somewhere that you know,that they traveled, that they
loved, it could be somethinglike if they always wore nice
things, right, or if they saidit's nice to dress your best,
right? And we're alwaysencouraging you to dress up a

(16:43):
little bit. It could be youusing wearing something that you
would normally save for aspecial occasion on a more
regular day as like a hello tothem or an honoring of them. You
can wear earrings that feel likethem. I recently heard a story
on a podcast that I listened tothat this person's partner

(17:05):
passed away from a veryaggressive illness that felt so
opposite to their normalpersonality, their bright they
were like a bright shining starin this world. And in the final
days, this partner, who is stillhere, said, Come back to me as
lightning. And not long after,after this person's passing,
there was like this unseasonalstorm with beautiful lightning

(17:27):
that cracked across the sky, andit was so validating that became
like one of her special signsfor her loved one. And this
person found a pair of verybeautiful, delicate lightning
earrings at a farmer's marketthat they weren't expecting at
all, and so they even decided toget their ears pierced, so they
could wear these earrings andfeel like they were giving a nod

(17:50):
to having this person with themall the time. So this one is
really powerful because it's asymbolic honoring, and it honors
the changes inside your everydayexperience. So instead of
needing an heirloom or aphysical memento, you are
intentionally choosing somethingthat creates something you can

(18:11):
feel like a sense of connectionthat you're creating if it
activates memories, yourintuition and your emotional
relationship with this specialperson on the other side in very
subtle but very impactful ways.
And this also shifts thehonoring of them from something
passive into something embodiedthat you can wear or carry. So
you're literally carrying theirenergy or influence with you as

(18:34):
you move through your day. Andit becomes a very quiet, private
way of saying you're still withme. I'm bringing you along. I'm
acknowledging you with me in myday to day moments. Okay, so
this next idea on the simple andeasy bucket here is ask them a
gentle question before bed. Sohow do we ask a gentle question

(18:57):
of our loved ones in the spiritworld that does not invoke
pressure or any stress, and thatcan invoke the natural softness
of our nighttime mind. So thereal concept here is right
before bed, when your mind isnaturally getting quieter,
hopefully you can invite amoment of connection by just
sending a thought or an idea toyour loved one of a simple

(19:19):
question. So this isn't aboutexpecting a sign or a dream or
like an answer to somethingyou're trying to solve. It's
simply opening a space forreflection and connection and
comfort and awareness. So thispractice is more about your
energy softening than your lovedone needing to, like, show up
and give you a sign or give yousomething, or show themselves in

(19:43):
some way. This is really aboutyour energy, softening to the
awareness of them. I'm going togive a little important caveat
here. If you are fresh in yourgrief or moving through a really
difficult emotional wave, yourdreams, if you have them, may
reflect your own unsettledemotions and fears. That doesn't
mean that anything is wrong orthat your loved one is upset.

(20:06):
It's simply your mind and yourhuman emotions processing an
overwhelming time, anoverwhelming experience. Spirit
does not send nightmares orfear. That's of our stressed out
human mind fearful dreams arethe physical psyche working
through pain. So I'm hopefully,hopefully. I'm like underlining
this enough here, beautiful,comforting dreams can happen,

(20:29):
but they can't be forced, and wehave to be in the right state in
our emotions and in ourawareness. And both are normal.
Stressful dreams are normal.
Beautiful dreams are normal, andneither means you're doing
anything wrong. But just know ifyou have a startling dream, or
the kind of dream where we'researching for someone or trying

(20:51):
to, you know, get out ofsomething, those are our
stressful human emotions, andnot from the spirit world. So
let's talk a little bit moreabout how. To ask this question
of our loved one in the spiritworld before our sleep time.
Essentially, you want to ask areally gentle question, not firm
and hard and demanding, but morejust opening your heart with the

(21:13):
idea of the question. And itshould be things like, what
would you want me to rememberabout myself right now, or what
part of my life could use alittle softening of my energy,
of my emotion, or somethinglike, help me remember a happy
moment in our relationship? Orwhat quality of yours could I

(21:34):
bring into my life this week? Sohopefully you see how these
questions are more focused onreflection, not decision making.
And then, as you go to sleepwithout expectation, no
pressure, no waiting ordemanding, a dream, just let
your mind process and settle andjust take note of what emotions

(21:55):
show up in your dreams. Maybeit's a dream of you flying or
having a fun vacation, or maybeit's a dream that is really
creative and colorful, so it'smore like the essence and what
you can take with you based on,you know, the way that you
floated the question. But it'sjust about being open hearted.
And maybe it'll be in your nextday or days that you'll keep

(22:18):
hearing theword hopeful, or you keep seeing
something similar, like apattern. And that's where making
some notes can really help. Ithelps to remember the question
that you floated and to startnoticing the little
synchronicities of likesomething showing up in a
repetitive way. That's reallyhelpful. And just a note about
decision making spirit or, youknow, your loved ones in the

(22:40):
spirit world will almost nevertell you what to do. They don't
make decisions for us because wehave free will. It's a kind of a
annoying requirement, and theyhave to respect our free will,
even if we are saying, my freewill is that you give me the
answer and figure this out forme, that's kind of not how it
works. So just know that they'renot going to give you the

(23:01):
answer, but they are going tolove you and support you, and
certainly can encourage us orhighlight different parts of our
path for us, and these aregentle nudges, not instructions,
so they can help us remember ourstrengths, our values. They can
help us have a calmerperspective, so we can make
choices that feel more aligned.
But the help of the spirit worldis usually subtle and

(23:24):
supportive. It's not usuallydirective. So what to notice
without pressure, like I wassaying, synchronicities, the
same theme popping up, a calmerfeeling in the morning, a little
piece of small piece of clarity,a softened emotion, a memory
that comes up. Perhaps it couldbe a phrase or a thought that

(23:46):
keeps coming or that you keeprepeating. Once in a while, I
actually will wake up with asong in my head. It happens kind
of a lot, actually, and it won'tbe a song that I would have been
listening to. It's like a feelsvery random, but, but it's not,
and you might even have a senseof like, what matters most,
right? Of like, Okay, I rememberthe thing that matters most is
that I'm, you know, feelingfulfilled in my life, for

(24:09):
example, and not making the mostmoney. So I'm going to give you
some experience, some examplesof experiences on this one, and
then we will move along to theharder ones, or more involved
ideas. So some exampleexperiences, someone told me
that she would always ask herdad what she should focus on
next, and when he crossed over,she started asking at bedtime,

(24:31):
what would you want me toremember about myself right now?
Because he was always so good atpointing out her strengths and
her qualities in any givensituation, and the answer that
came for her was never a voice,never him showing up in a vision
and saying, from his voice, dothis. It came more about clarity
about what mattered most and whoshe truly was, and that

(24:55):
remembering of who she wasreally made the decisions a lot
more clear. And another person Iknow said that she would her
sister crossed over, and shesaid that she would ask her
sister in spirit for one smallmemory moment, and one day,
while driving to work, shepassed a park, and a memory
bubbled up that she hadn'tthought about in years of her

(25:17):
learning to ride her bike at thepark when she was little, and it
helped her feel more confidentin herself, because she
remembered, you know, as part ofthat memory, when she finally
did get it and learn to ride herbike, how much freedom she felt
and how powerful she felt. Soshe was able to connect those
dots from that small memory, butshe was available for the memory

(25:38):
to come up as she moved throughthe world in her day to day. So
these intentions can createconnections without pressuring
the door opening or needing aspecific sign so you see how
it's a little bit softer. Now,this is a really powerful
technique, because it invitesyour loved one into the space

(25:58):
of. Comfort and quiet andreflection, and they do
communicate, often in such asubtle way, even if you've never
had a dream, even if nothingdramatic happens, the act of
asking or holding that gentleintention in your heart creates
a moment of softness andconnection, and it becomes a way

(26:18):
of saying, I'm thinking aboutyou. I want to stay close with
you, and in their own gentleway, they definitely do from the
other side. So those are a fewof the simple everyday practices
you might already feel yourselfgravitating towards one of these
that I've mentioned or two thatfeel doable right now, and
honestly, even if you chose onlyone and let it become a part of

(26:41):
your rhythm, that's enough. Youdon't have to do all the things
to stay connected and getcreative. These are deeply
personal to you and to your dayto day habits and happenings
like little private ways thatwe're continuing our
relationship with our loved onesthrough our day to day. And if
you're feeling a little moreresourced, or are someone who

(27:02):
loves creativity and symbolism,this next group of ideas takes
things a step deeper. So we'reshifting into some of my medium
effort ideas, the kind thatinvite a little more intention,
a little more creativity, andhopefully even a touch of play,
as you weave your loved onesinto your life in meaningful new

(27:24):
ways. So this is not the higheffort category, but just the
medium effort category. So thefirst thing I want to suggest
here is a living memory shelf.
So what is a living memoryshelf? It's a small, intentional
space that honors both yourloved one's presence and your

(27:46):
ongoing life. It is a livingmemory shelf, not a shrine, not
a space that's frozen in thepast. It's a tiny, evolving
place where something thatrepresents your loved one sits
next to something thatrepresents your current life or
your future. And this creates asymbolic bridge between who you

(28:09):
are now, who they continue on,how they continue on with you,
and who you are becoming. And itemphasizes ongoing connection
instead of loss. So how doesthis work? How does the living
memory shelf work? Essentially,you choose a small surface, this
can be like the corner of abookshelf or a little segment of

(28:31):
your dresser or a windowsill ora bedside table or a little
shelf or whatever. You have atiny surface, and you select two
items to start with one itemthat connects you to them. So
this could be a piece of theirhandwriting or their signature,
if you have that, it could be aphoto of them or a photo of a

(28:54):
place or an object that you feelconnected to them. So it could
be like a vacation that youtook, for example, and even if
you don't have a picture of thatplace or a place they always
wanted to go, you could get apicture of that place in a
magazine or online, right? Itcould be a symbolic object that
carries their energy, like arock or a feather or a vintage

(29:16):
key or dried flower or a smalllittle souvenir or tchotchke. It
could be a quote or a phrasethat they used. It can be a
color or an object associatedwith their personality. So
that's one item, and then thesecond item represents you now
and your future. And this couldbe something like a little

(29:37):
candle that you light when youset your intentions, a slip of
paper with your most currentaffirmation on there. It could
be a small little plant thatyou're giving love and abundance
to. It could be a tiny objectthat represents your next
chapter. Could be a crystal tiedto clarity or healing or courage
that you're trying to manifest.
It could be a keepsake fromsomething you're working on like

(29:59):
your favorite journaling pen ora business card or a pendant.
There's no rules here, and itdoesn't have to make sense to
anyone else. So these itemsdon't have to be obviously a
hello or a nod to this person orto this future version of you,
but the two items together say,I'm carrying you forward with

(30:20):
me. You're a part of my life.
You're not just a part of mypast. You're a part of my today
and my future. And we are stillpartners in this lifetime
together, just in a differentway. And over time, you can add
a third item or even more items,if you feel called it can be
things like because, think aboutit, this connection that we

(30:44):
still have together and the waythey're still showing up for
you. So like a dime or a pennythat you found as a hello from
them, a tiny butterfly charm, ifbutterflies are your sign from
them, a photo of a rainbow thatyou snapped while you were
thinking of them. It could be arock that. Picked up on a walk
when they came to mind. Or ifyou have tangible signs with

(31:06):
them, it can be something thatrepresents the sign that you
receive from them in the world,or something special between
you. So that's how it can kindof grow and become this living
memorial. And you can change outthe items whenever you want. I'm
going to give you a coupleexamples, and hopefully this
will become a little bit moreclear. This one is not really

(31:27):
hard, but again, obviously it'sa little more effort. But I use
this one myself as well. So Iknow a woman who placed her
grandfather's old pocket knife,that's the thing that she had,
next to a tiny, little succulentplant, and the knife represented
his grounded, practical nature.
It's something he always carriedwith him. And this plant to her,
represented her commitment tocreating softer, more nurturing

(31:49):
lifestyle for herself, and toreally remember that she can
nurture herself every day.
That's what this plantrepresented for her. So it's
like they were working together,represented in these two
symbolic items. And later shecontinued to add a little tiny

(32:10):
ceramic shot glass, because shereceived pennies from this
grandpa, pennies from heaven.
And so in this little, tiny shotglass, she would put the pennies
in there, and that was part ofher living memorial. So I loved
that idea. Someone else I knowused a favorite beach photo of
her mom, like from a time thatthey had just been walking on
the beach and snapped it. Shesnapped a quick picture of her

(32:32):
mom, and she placed it next to asmall crystal that's tied to
confidence. I think it was aCitrine, like that gold, yellow
type of crystal, which is aboutconfidence and putting yourself
out there. It's very Leo energy.
So her mom really struggled withher own confidence in this
lifetime, and so pairing thesetwo together for my friends

(32:55):
symbolized both gratitude andgenerational healing, because
she wanted to live into aconfidence that her mom didn't
get to experience, and wanted tomake her choices going forward
from a very confident, secureplace. So she really felt like
she was also doing healing forher mom, on behalf of her mom,
in this way, and sheoccasionally would also add,

(33:18):
like a shell or a stone or afeather from her own
contemplated BEACH WALKS becausepart of her connection with her
mom, she'd go occasionally forwalks on the beach, and those
would be their spirit walks, iswhat she called them, and if she
found a certain shell that sheliked or was drawn to, she'd add
it to this little memorial.
Since those were walks with hermom, I'm gonna give you one more
example here, just because Iwant you to see just how outside
the box you can go anotherperson I know had a handwritten

(33:41):
little note from their person,and they kept it next to a
little small candle that theylit when they were planning the
week. And each week, while doingthis, they imagined a single
word or a small phrase thattheir aunt might say as an added
message for the week. And maybeit was focus, maybe it was
dedication, maybe it wasconfidence. Their aunt was

(34:03):
someone who really liked back inthe day, those calendars that
you could get with like thequotes and the uplifting
phrases, and her aunt was justjust enjoyed that. So she
thought that was a great way ofrepresenting this person. And so
every week, she wrote it on asticky note and stuck it on her
dresser to remind her for theweek. So you could do something
like that. Or if you're someonewho likes or has oracle cards,

(34:26):
if you want to take this to thenext level, you could even pull
a card of the week or a card ofthe day from a deck that you
have that like you just thinkrepresents this person or your
favorite deck, for example. Andit's a way to keep going and
keep that guidance and keepconnected with them. To say,
like, Hey, I'm asking for yourinfluence here. Let's still be a

(34:49):
team. Let's still communicate.
So I'm going to give you someother additional options that I
just want to mention as like, Ikind of think of this as like,
make your own Sunday bar, orit's like, what toppings do you
want, what flavors do you want?
So you could also think aboutchanging these items seasonally,
or just even whenever you feelinspired, you can kind of clear

(35:10):
out and put new ones or startagain or change it however you
like it should say small enoughthat it never feels like really
heavy or overwhelming orstressful for you, it can be
fully private or placedsomewhere where only you see it
like it could even be tuckedinside a drawer if you want. So
it doesn't have to be on displayfor anyone. It doesn't have to

(35:32):
be like a shelf, quote, unquote.
Technically, it can be somethingthat you use during grounding or
meditation or intention setting.
It can even be something youwear and take off and put next
to this symbolic place.
So there's really way outsidethe box that you can get with
this. And this is so powerful asa practice because it reframes

(35:55):
honoring your loved one assomething alive and still
growing this relationship. Withyou. It's not stagnant, it's not
gone, it's still growing andstill has energy and love. It's
just we are connected in adifferent way and can
communicate in a different waynow. And it acknowledges that
your relationship with themdoesn't end. It's just

(36:15):
transformed in the living memoryshelf. The way I like to think
of it is it symbolizescontinuity instead of finality
and continuing on, presenceinstead of absence, integration
instead of separation, becausethey are still a part of us and
so integrated into who we areand into our hearts. It's nice

(36:35):
to do these little rituals, andessentially it becomes a gentle
reminder that you're tellingthem you're still a part of my
story. I'm still growing, andwe're still on this path
together. So if you like theidea of having a tiny physical
space that evolves with you,this next one shifts that idea
onto the page. It's a little bitless about objects and more

(36:56):
about words and relationships.
So the next practice is called acontinuing the conversation
letter. So what is a continuingthe conversation letter? This is
like a living dialog that honorsyour relationship as ongoing,
not ended. So the main concepthere is that instead of writing
the traditional grief letter, orlike a letter to say goodbye,

(37:17):
maybe you've heard of that, thisis more of a letter that
continues the relationship. Soyou write to your person in the
spirit world in a way that youwould if they were still
physically here, but with agentle awareness that the
connection now moves throughyour intuition, through your
emotions, through memory,through shared energy. It's not
about closure, it's aboutcontinuation. So this could be

(37:41):
something like a single letterthat you do one time. It can be
a letter that you add to overtime. It can be a running note
in your phone. It can be ajournal that you return to
whenever you feel inspired, likean ongoing journaling exercise.
And you could even use like aspecific, dedicated notebook
that is your continuation,continuing the conversation,

(38:04):
letter with them. This reallykeeps that bond active, not
frozen in time. So how does thiswork? You basically choose a
moment when you feel calm orreflective, and you begin to
write to your person on theother side, as if you're in the
middle of a conversation. So youcan write about something funny
that happened today. You canwrite about something you're

(38:26):
proud of, something you'restruggling with or feeling
frustrated about. It can be amemory that just bubbled up. It
can be something you wish youcould ask this person. It can be
something you want to celebratewith them, or you want them to
celebrate with you. It can be anupdate, like, on a big decision
that you made, or even a smalldecision. It can be something

(38:47):
that you have clarity on, orlike see differently. Now this
could be, of course, if youwanted to, like, write about
something that you'veexperienced, that they would
have just loved, you don't haveto sign off or end the letter or
wrap it up neatly. It's it's notso much like a letter with an
ending. It's a living dialogwritten in chapters or moments

(39:10):
or glimpses of things that youwant to share with them. On the
other side, here's some optionalprompts if you need a little
help getting started with thiscontinuation letter, I'm going
to give you just a little Lisp,and again, get creative and open
your mind, and then I'm going togive you some examples. So
here's some prompts you couldthink about. For example, here's
what you would have laughed attoday that happened, or I

(39:33):
thought of you when x, y, z. Oryou'd be so proud to know that.
And then write your letter. Icould really use your kind of
wisdom about this situation. Iknow what you would say about
this thing that happened, or I'mcarrying forward this part of
you in my own life, and here'show it's showing up. And these

(39:55):
keep that warm ongoingcommunication between you alive.
And for some people, they didn'thave that communication with
their person in the living. Sothis is a way to even maybe have
a deeper communication than youcould with them while they were
still here in the physical. Sohere are a few examples to
illustrate. Someone I know wrotea small note to their mom every

(40:18):
Sunday night. This was inrepresentation of it. They used
to have a Sunday call with thisperson, and so sometimes they
wrote a paragraph, sometimes itwas a sentence. And over time,
the letter became a space wheremy friend felt comforted and
seen and like they still weretelling their mom about their
day every Sunday, and anotherperson wrote in more of like a

(40:39):
conversation style, back andforth letter with her sister on
the other side. So she'd writewhat she wanted to tell her
sister, and then she wouldactually write the words that
she could imagine her sistersaying in response, not because
she heard a voice out of thesky, but because she knew her
sister so well. She like knew.

(41:00):
She would be saying in response,and it helped her to remember
and feel connected to hersister's humor, her warmth, her
like quirky, sassy way of seeingthe world. So you can do it that
way. And I know someone else whoused more of like a digital
Notes app and typed one lineevery time a memory popped up.
And after several months, itbecame this really beautiful,

(41:22):
living tribute of tiny, smallmemories and sometimes big
memories that came to theirawareness over time. So this one
is so powerful because it honorsthe fact that the relationship
doesn't disappear, it's justchanged. Forms a continuing the
conversation letter becomes aplace to feel close with our

(41:43):
loved one, a safe outlet forreflection, a way to notice this
person's influence in your life,a reminder that this bond is
ongoing, and certainly theystill care about what's going on
with you. It also helps softenkind of the sharp edges of grief
by shifting the focus fromthey're gone to we are still

(42:04):
connected, and it becomes agentle affirmation of this idea
of like we're still inconversation. It's just in a new
way. And remember, with all ofthese get creative based on your
own personality and what feelsinteresting to you or aligned
with you or fun. For you, youdon't have to do something that
feels like homework or likesomething unenjoyable. And if

(42:28):
you're more of an audio person,or if you feel things through
sound and mood, then this nextidea might be the best doorway
for you. We're going to bringyour person into the present
through something many of us useevery day. Which is music? Let's
talk about creating anessence inspired playlist. So
what is an essence inspiredplaylist? This is a playlist

(42:49):
that captures who your personand spirit was, and is not just
the songs they liked. So thecore concept here really is
instead of creating a playlistwith songs that this person
loved, which can sometimes feelheavy or too hard to listen to,
or bring up memories we're notready for, this is a playlist

(43:10):
that's more inspired by theessence of the person, right the
mood, their personality, theirenergy, the vibe of who they
were and How they showed up inthe world. It's qualities that
made them who they were. That'swhat's inspiring this playlist.
And so it becomes a living,evolving playlist that reflects
the spirit of who they are,rather than just only songs that

(43:33):
they liked. Although that couldbe a part of it, we'll talk
about that in a minute. So thisbecomes something fun, soulful,
surprising, and because it'sbased on their personality, not
their era or time period, it canstay light and uplifting and
fun, hopefully. So. How doesthis work? Essentially, you
create a playlist in yourplatform of choice, and you

(43:55):
choose songs based on like thequalities that your person
embodied, or how they made youfeel or like, the tone of their
personality, for example, or thekind of energy they brought into
a room, or growth that theyinspired in you. Maybe it's
inspired by the way that theylived, or things they wish that

(44:17):
they had gotten to do or lived.
It could be having to do withinside jokes that you shared, or
memories of them that you have,that you treasure, so you let
the vibe lead, instead of theliteral things that they used to
listen to. So here are someideas to just kind of spark your
inspiration. For example, ifyour person was like, bold or

(44:39):
rebellious, maybe you add songsthat really to you feel
confident or fiery or driven, ifthey are someone who was really
spiritual and soft andintrospective, maybe you add
softer, quieter, more reflectivetracks. If they were like silly
or playful or zany, maybe youchoose like whimsical or joyful

(45:02):
or just like out of the boxmusic. If there's someone who's
nurturing, maybe you includethose songs that are warm and
comforting and make you feelreminiscent, right? If there's
someone who's like protective orvery steady, maybe you choose
music that feels grounding orhas like really strong rhythms,
or strong drums, for example, ifthere's someone who is really

(45:25):
adventurous, like a worldtraveler, maybe you have music
from different genres indifferent parts of the world.
Maybe it's like wanderlustinspired tracks, right travel
tracks. And maybe, if they'recreative, it's songs that feel
like color or texture orimagination. If they're a deep
feeler, maybe it's songs thathave, like, a lot of emotional

(45:47):
depth or truth. So I'm going togive you some examples to
illustrate this, just so you canget a little more idea of what
I'm talking about. Now I do knowsomeone who did this playlist,
quite literally. I. This personhad so many wonderful memories
of her dad, who was on the otherside from the 70s, his style,
his confidence, his like smooth,charismatic way. He was quite a

(46:12):
stylish, dapper dresser, and hehad this huge record collection,
and he loved bands like Earth,Wind and Fire, all the funk, all
the disco, James Brown, BarryWhite. And so she was able to
create kind of his perfectplaylist of songs that he
listened to and loved on thesenew platforms, because

(46:33):
everything's available now.
Having him with her in the caragain is the way she would say
it when she listened to it, oh,I've got my dad in the car
whenever she would have hisplaylist on. But again, you
don't have to do it based onsongs that they love. You can.
You can do it as like, I knowsomeone that created a playlist
for her brother in the spiritworld, who had, he just had this
like, relaxed sensibility. Hewas easy going when he was the

(46:57):
best of himself. He was verypositive in his outlook. He
loved people making laugh, likemaking people laugh. So instead
of using the old songs that heliked because they had very
different music tastes, shechose really like upbeat and
mellow tracks that felt like hiseasy going attitude. And she
included like Bob Marley andother reggae artists. And she

(47:18):
always said listening to it feltlike hanging out with him again,
because it brought about thevibe of his personality. I know
another person that made aplaylist inspired by their best
friend's strength and sassiness.
So it can be fun, it can be funaspects of their personality.
And on this playlist, theychose, like, really spunky

(47:40):
tracks, some songs with attitudeor like spicy vibes, a lot of
girl power type anthems. Andthey said that they could almost
feel the pep talks and fun timeswhenever they listened to this
playlist, that the energy of themusic just felt like the energy
of their friend. I know someoneelse who crafted a playlist for

(48:01):
a partner who passed away veryyoung, and they included songs
that evoked freedom and movementand light and things that this
person always longed for, thatthey had kind of a challenging
experience in life, and theyalways longed for their freedom,
for more movement, for light,For ease. And so the playlist

(48:22):
felt like honoring the potentialthat this person never got to
fully express, like the truefullness of who they were, and
not the challenges that they hadin this life. So hopefully you
can see that you get realcreative and out of the box with
this one and some additionaloptions I just have to mention
is one. You can have severalplaylists. You can have morning,

(48:44):
evening, holiday, travelInspire. You don't have to do
just one per person. You can addto it whenever you feel called
to you can listen to it whiledoing something ordinary, like
driving or cleaning, or you canlisten to it when you want to be
inspired by that person or feelthem around you. You can use it
as a grounding ritual beforelike big decisions or emotional

(49:07):
days. You can share it withfamily or friends of theirs, or
you can keep it completelyprivate, or you can have one for
each right, a private one andone you're going to share. So
one of the reasons this is sopowerful is because music
bypasses our busy thinking mindand goes straight to the heart
and the energy of the body andwho we are, and an essence

(49:29):
inspired playlist creates abridge to your loved one through
feeling, not just your thinkingmind, it helps you connect with
the living qualities of Who theyare, the spark, the soul, the
presence, rather than just theabsence of them. And it becomes
a way of saying, I remember howyou felt in the room. I can

(49:52):
still feel you here. I stillwant to connect with you in this
way. And PS, I also think ofplaylists as like a living,
always growing entity of itsown. So be sure to take
advantage of your platforms.
There's like a suggested songsthat usually will pop up as
you're making a playlist orlistening to one, because the
suggested songs might invokedifferent memories or be a

(50:16):
different aspect of theirpersonality that you can keep
adding and memories can keepcoming up, so that's a really
fun way to keep that listevolving and and living as well.
And while we're talking aboutsymbols and feelings, there is
one more medium level practice Iwant to offer before we move
into the more elaborate rituals.

(50:37):
And this one can even blendnicely with holiday decor and
seasonal energy without makinggrief kind of the main event,
it's choosing a personal holidayor seasonal symbol for your
loved one. So how do you choosea personal holiday or seasonal
symbol for your loved one andincorporate it easily? So the

(50:58):
main concept here is instead ofrelying on. Traditional Memorial
objects or like sad rituals, youcan choose a single symbol that
holds the essence or thepersonality of your loved one
for the season, and this symbolbecomes more like a subtle,
beautiful way of weaving yourloved one on the other side into
the holiday season without griefkind of taking center stage for

(51:22):
you. This can be like the symbolitself. Can be a color, it can
be a shape, it can be an animal,a flower, a little small design
or motif, a natural element,like wood, for example. It can
be a simple design or pattern.
And this works really well,especially during the holidays,
because symbolism is alreadyeverywhere in decor and cards

(51:42):
and rapping and music andseasonal imagery, whether it's
seasonal or like holidayspecific. So how does this one
work? Essentially, you select asymbol that you feel intuitively
connects to your person on theother side, you get to choose
then you intentionallyincorporate into your holiday
season in small and meaningfulways. So here's some examples.

(52:05):
You could wear jewelry with thatsymbol. You could choose
wrapping paper that includes itadding one ornament or
decorative element that has thissymbol or animal in it. It could
be a drawing or like a stamp,like, you know, there's a rubber
stamps. You can stamp yourholiday cards with. You can use
it on the wallpaper of yourphone for the season. You can

(52:25):
tie a ribbon again with color onyour purse or on yourself. You
can incorporate it into yourmakeup or nail color, if it's a
color or your outfits. You caninclude it into your holiday
decor, or like table scapes orhowever you're putting
decorations, you can choose acandle, like a specific diffuser

(52:46):
or scent oil, or specific likeflower that represents this
person for this season, and itjust becomes a gentle way of
honoring them and infusing themall around you into the season.
So I'm going to give you someexamples that hopefully will
solidify this a little bit foryou. These are hopefully fresh
and non traditional, and canfeel a little more aligned with

(53:07):
who you are and how you rememberthis person. So for example, if
your loved one, like adored theocean, your symbol could be a
tiny wave shape or like aseafoam color or a shell motif
that you just kind of hide orinfuse in your decorations,
someone whose father was steadyand grounding presence might
choose evergreen sprigs or thetree to represent that

(53:30):
stability, those strong roots.
If your grandma lovedsunflowers, for example, instead
of using the literal symbol of asunflower, which you could, but
if you felt like it feels toosummery or fall, if it's winter,
you could, instead of using aliteral sunflower, you could
choose golden accents or thecolor gold, or a certain yellow

(53:54):
or round shapes or warm yellowribbon as their seasonal symbol.
If your spouse or partner, forexample, had a playful spirit,
you could choose stars or polkadots or whimsical kind of
designs or icons that symbolizethe personality or capture their
energy, or if they wore, likememorable flannel shirts in the

(54:16):
winter, or PJ's, for example,you could incorporate similar or
plaid or flannel sheets orthrows or pillows. You could
even wrap gifts in like plaidwrapping paper that's inspired
by the flannels that they alwayswore. If your child, who's on
the other side, love dinosaursor penguins or a particular

(54:39):
cartoon character, you mightincorporate the color palette or
the pattern subtly into yourholiday touches. You could use
the literal, literal imagery. Ofcourse, I'm thinking of someone
specific who's had a kiddo thatloved penguins, and so around
holidays, they always havelittle penguin decorations and
Penguin socks with the littlescarfs and the hats and Penguin

(55:00):
wrapping paper. And nobody knowsthat that's what it is, but
that's why they're using it. Soyou could find ways to integrate
either the actual penguin inthis example or just the idea of
like black and white colors ortextures or things like that. So
the symbol doesn't have to beobvious or recognizable to
anyone else. It can becompletely private, if you want,

(55:21):
and deeply meaningful. So here acouple other optional variations
I want to just throw in there.
You could switch the symbol eachyear as your relationship or as
your own emotions evolve. Youcould choose a simpler symbol
during harder years, right?
Maybe it's just a triangle onyears that it's really hard, or
a star, because those are arounda lot, and you can be more

(55:43):
elaborate as you feel able. Youcould share the symbol with your
family, or you could keep itjust for yourself. You could
treat the symbol as a hello fromthem, like a little sign when it
naturally appears in yoursurroundings. Of course, you can
let the symbol kind of appear onits own without you decorating.
Of it and treat it as a newconnection point. And this one

(56:04):
is really powerful, becausechoosing a symbol creates a
living thread of connection thatblends so naturally into any
holiday season. It avoidsheaviness while honoring
meaning. It can be private, abeautiful reminder of your loved
one's presence just for you, itcan really help you infuse their

(56:25):
personality, their energy, wovengently through a season that
sometimes can otherwise feelkind of overwhelming. And this
practice really allows you tosay you're still here with me.
I'm still feeling you around me.
I want to carry you forward inthe way I move through this
season and all the seasons. Soat this point, you might already

(56:45):
have a handful of ideas circlingin your mind, and you might be
thinking, Okay, I could actuallysee myself doing one or two of
these ideas that we've talkedabout so far. Remember, the
point is for you to pick andchoose the ideas that feel
interesting to you or that feelaligned or resonate with you,
and it doesn't have to be all ofthem. It's not about performing

(57:09):
them correctly. It's more aboutfinding what generally genuinely
resonates for you and for yourloved one who's on the other
side. For some of you, though,there will come a time where you
feel ready for something alittle more ceremonial,
something that makes you likeyou want to mark a turning point
in your grief or in your life,or for a season, or with this

(57:31):
loved one on the other side. Andit can really
be powerful. I'm going to showyou through these next ideas,
they're a bit more elaborate.
They can become really powerfultraditions, or I'm thinking of
them as like, Legacy levelofferings. So we'll move into
some ritual and legacypractices, like eco friendly,

(57:52):
eco safe, sky or sea lanternrituals, Legacy box, and one of
my favorites, spirit dinner. Sowe're going to talk about these
right now. So let's begin withthe lantern ritual. Remember, we
are keeping the earth in mindwith this one, too. So what are
some Eco safe sky or sea lanternrituals? And what does that

(58:14):
mean? So this is a symbolicrelease or offering using
environmentally gentlematerials. And this can be done
alone or with other familymembers in a larger group, or
super privately as a memorial.
This one can be done once, or itcan be done as a regular
tradition, and it can be assimple or as elaborate as you

(58:37):
want each time. These are deepceremonial and sometimes long
term practices, but you can alsodo it just one time only, and
it's a beautiful ritual, but itactually carries a very simple
practice at the heart of it. Sothe real under underlying
concept here is creating lightbased or water based offerings

(58:59):
as a powerful way to honor yourloved one, especially during
holidays, transition points inthe year, or transition points
in your life, instead of usingtraditional sky lanterns, like
the ones you might have seen onthe social medias, where they
like light the little lanternand it flies up into the sky,
which are environmentallyharmful and unsafe and not ideal

(59:23):
in a lot of ways. This practicewe're going to talk about uses
more eco friendly, biodegradableand fire safe alternatives for
very symbolic moments andrituals. So the point is not the
lantern itself. It's theintention, the pause, the
honoring, the symbol ofreleasing love and memory or
prayer into the world and toyour loved one. So before I talk

(59:46):
about the options for this one,I want to quickly help you
understand why rituals involvingwater and light feel so
powerful. They are used acrossmany cultures and spiritual
traditions and water is oftenseen as the symbol for emotion
and spirituality. It representsdepth, intuition, cleansing,

(01:00:07):
reflection and the ability tocarry prayer, memories and
intentions, while light, on theother hand, symbolizes guidance,
presence, illumination, clarity,the expansiveness of love,
right? If you think about lightilluminating a dark room, it
gets into every corner, justlike love permeates everything,

(01:00:29):
and it also represents thesoul's ongoing essence. So in
many traditions around the worldand over time, from parts of
Asia to indigenous cultures toCeltic and European folk
practices, and certainly in theNorth and South America's
sending offerings into water orreleasing symbolic light is
believed to help carry ourmessages or intentions across

(01:00:53):
the realms or through the veil.
These rituals are not aboutsending anything to the
afterlife or like a literal i.
I'm going across distance, butit's more about creating a
moment where the veil betweenthe physical world and the
unseen world feels thinner. It'sthe symbolic act of merging
light, emotion, intention andnature, and it creates a sense

(01:01:16):
of very deep connection. Andit's a very spiritual, heartfelt
practice. So with this in mind,here are some options for eco
safe, gentle and accessible,ways to incorporate that same
depth of meaning without harminganimals or land or waterways. So
I'm going to give you a coupleexamples. And remember, these
can be as simple or aselaborate, even within these

(01:01:38):
examples as you want them to be.
So first, let's talk about ecosafe floating flowers or leaf
rituals. This is the water. Sowe're going to choose items that
are quickly biodegradable andsafe in water. So this is like
flower petals, a single flower,or a few little blossoms, a
large leaf, like think of like amagnolia leaf, or like a banana

(01:01:58):
leaf, or any bigger leaf thatyou could find, and you can
write a message on the leaf withwater soluble ink, or even just
holding it and energeticallyinfusing your intention or
prayer or wish into the letter.
You can use herbs or naturalmaterials like lavender,

(01:02:19):
rosemary, eucalyptus are greatthings like brown sugar or
honey, or brown sugar or honeyfor like sweet wishes of
wellness and sweetness and love,you can use small stones or
shells or drift items left onthe shore, like natural
materials. So you can write amessage or an affirmation. It

(01:02:41):
can be like a message or a wishfor your person on the other
side, on a leaf, you can dothings like place the petals
into the water with a moment ofgratitude and just a love
offering to them. You can drop astone into the water
representing releasing burdens,or them releasing their burdens
as they are really fully inlove. On the other side, you can

(01:03:06):
do something like let a singleflower carry a message
downstream or with the tide. Sothere's lots of beautiful ways,
but it's really about an itemthat is totally biodegradable or
natural, and infusing yourintention, your wish, your
thought, your prayer, and thenputting it in the water as
representation of that depth ofemotion that we still feel so

(01:03:30):
important. Safety note for thisnext one, I really want to
advise you to only placenatural, preferably local and
biodegradable, items into water,and please follow local
guidelines and avoid protectedareas. So we don't want to do
this in somewhere that's likeprotected that we're not
supposed to be. You guys justfollow the rules and protect the
Earth, please as part of this.
So the next one I want to talkabout is LED candles or a basket

(01:03:54):
or drift offering. This is awater with fire, with light. So
this one is fully retrievable,but you could also do a version
that's not retrievable usingentirely natural materials and
no fire. So a beautifulalternative is to create a small
offering basket using naturalmaterials, maybe a small woven

(01:04:16):
Reed bowl or basket or driftwoodand place reusable LED tea light
or battery candle inside. Thisis great for people to have,
like a pool or a small body ofwater that's easy to like
retrieve. You could do thisright at the edge of the ocean,
but you'd have to really makesure it wasn't going to get
swept into the tide, because wedon't want to put batteries in

(01:04:39):
the ocean, obviously. So youdon't send this one away.
Instead, you just place it onthe water's edge. Or, if it's
like a pool, you can kind of letthese float out into the pool,
and it's really just taking somebreaths and watching the glow as
you connect. Imagine that lightreally just infusing and sending
your wishes or your thoughts oryour prayer or your affirmation

(01:05:01):
or message that you want to sendto your person in the spirit
world. And it's you know, you doyour ceremony for however many
minutes you want to sit thereand meditate or be in that
energy. And then you retrieveyour items, so pick them back up
and take them home, not leavingLED candles, you know, in the
ocean or in physical bodies ofwater out there. But if it's

(01:05:23):
your own pool, it's really easyto retrieve, and you could leave
it for as long as you like, as adecoration, even so, it's
essentially a symbolic releasewithout letting go. And think
about how the light justpermeates and the water
representing deep emotions andthat journey between worlds,
even though we know the spiritworld's just a just an unseen
world within our world. So thisessentially works super simple,

(01:05:46):
just setting some intentions. Itcan be as simple as you
indicating, like from yourheart, I release this with love,
or thank you for walking withme, or I honor you at every step
I take in my neck. Chapter. Ormay this light carry these
memories to you, or anacknowledgement that just like

(01:06:06):
light, their love is stillpermeating every area of your
life and your heart. You cankeep it super simple. You can
say it silently. You can whisperit. You can write it down. You
can just say it in your ownheart. Spirit really responds to
the energy, not the volume. Sothey know our emotions and our
intentions. They experience ourauric colors moving. You could,

(01:06:29):
if you want to kind of do this alittle more elaborately. You
could write a short poem or aletter. You could write your
wishes more fully out as amessage to them. You could carry
a small crystal that you'regoing to hold and bless during
the ritual. You could do somebreath work, kind of inhale love
and exhale grief. You couldinclude music or their

(01:06:55):
playlist in the background. Andthis is really for people who
want a little more of aphysical, symbolic gesture,
people who want some kind ofquiet, very personal ritual
during holidays or anniversariesor really any time, someone
who's processing reallycomplicated grief, people who
feel kind of best when theirceremony, when they're like when

(01:07:16):
their ritual includes aceremony, or wanting to do
something a little Bit moretangibly. I'm going to give you
some examples. And some peoplereally just like to include
water or light or naturalmaterials in their rituals. So
this for you, if you like thosekind of things. I've known
people to do various versions ofthese rituals, and I know
someone that once wrote on partof theirs. It was like a

(01:07:37):
personal release. And it wasbasically like, I release what I
no longer need to carry. And ona large, beautiful leaf, they
had used watercolor pencil, and,you know, kind of wrote out
their wishes and drew a littlepicture along with it. And then
at sunset, they watched thatleaf drift out to sea and then

(01:07:57):
walked away feeling light orhaving symbolically and
energetically released what wasno longer serving them. I know
someone else who did a littlenatural bowl with reusable LED
lights in honor of a kiddo thathad passed, and they had several
friends and family from thecommunity,

(01:08:18):
you know, put wishes for thisperson in their own little
bowls. It was kind of like thelittle coconut bowls that you
get sometimes in summer. It'sjust what they had access to,
but you could use just aboutwhatever. And then they floated
them out into this little like apond that they had on their
property. And then it wasshallow enough that they could
pretty easily collect them all.
So then they collected them andbut they did like a really

(01:08:40):
special little ceremony. Someonein the group sang, someone was a
singer, and someone else playeda little bit of music, like an
instrument that was quitelovely. And then they kept the
materials, because they repeatedthis ritual every year for this
person on their angelversary. Sothat's another more elaborate
option. So these can be asprivate or as as community

(01:09:02):
involved. They can be verysimple as dropping a flower
petal with an intention, or aselaborate as creating a whole
setup for this. And this reallyis powerful, because these type
of offerings give our body andspirit a moment of release,
remembrance, integration. Theyallow us to feel like we're
doing an action that'sphysically tangible. They allow

(01:09:23):
us to express something from ourheart that doesn't always need
to have words. It can give us asense of movement, of the
energy. It's a symbolicconnection with nature and all
that is. It can help us releaseemotions. It can be a special
moment of bonding and honoringwith our loved ones in the

(01:09:44):
spirit world, I love a ritual Idon't know about you. And of
course, it can be an ecoconscious alternative to some of
those traditional lantern ideas,and it becomes a beautiful way
of saying, I honor you withlight. I honor your presence,
and I'm honoring the earth as Iwalk gently in it, and I
remember that your soulpermeates with love everything

(01:10:05):
around me, just like this lightor this water permeates, okay,
we've got two more. This episodeis going much, much longer than
I intended, so I hope if you arehanging on with me for this
long, I'm so grateful. And theseare super exciting ones, so
you're not going to want to missthese the next is a legacy box
for future generations. It's aliving, evolving container that

(01:10:26):
carries the essence of who theyare, who you are, and the story
that continues between you. Sothe main concept here is a
legacy box is it can be any typeof container. It's just an
intentionally chosen containerthat gathers pieces of your
loved one's story, not topreserve it in the past, in like
a frozen in the past, way, butto carry it forward so it can be

(01:10:48):
physical, it can be digital, itcan be symbolic, like you could
be just in writing. And thepoint isn't to collect like
things items. It's really to.
Curate meaning. So you'rebuilding a bridge between the
way they lived, what their lifewas about, the way they loved,
the way they carry influence inyour life, still what future

(01:11:12):
generations may one day want tounderstand about this person.
And this idea works beautifully,even if you don't have physical
belongings from this person. Sohow does this work? Essentially,
you just choose a box or afolder or a note section of your
phone or a container that feelssimple and beautiful to you or
represents them in some way toyou. And like I said, Give me an

(01:11:35):
envelope, whatever you like. Andit really is to capture the
essence of this person, not tocapture clutter. So some
possible items you might want toput in a legacy box would be
like it could be something intheir own handwriting if you
have that, a signature, a note,a recipe, a scrap of journal,
because that still holds theirenergy. If you have it, if you

(01:11:56):
don't, it's okay. You could evenwrite their full name and put it
in, or the name that you callthem by, or a list of their
nicknames. You can write a storyabout them, not a biography, but
more of like a memory story, astory that captures their
spirit, their humor, theirquirks, their strengths,
something special about them,something memorable about them,
even if it's a single moment,one little page is enough. You

(01:12:21):
could start with prompts likethe thing I loved most about
this person is a moment I'llnever forget with them. Or if I
could tell future generationsone thing about this person I
would want them to know this.
You can include symbolic objectsconnected to memory. So could be
like a rock from a place thatthey loved. Or I know someone
that collects rocks from everyplace they go in the world and

(01:12:43):
puts them in this box for thisperson as like souvenirs that
they're bringing back for thisperson, still, it can be part of
a greeting card that they saved,or a dried flower that's
meaningful in some way, or tinyHoliday Ornament or a ticket
stub from something you shared,or something you went to and
thought about them. It caninclude things like a short

(01:13:05):
letter to your future self, oryour future family, parts of
your lineage. It can be like,here's the thread that we're
carrying forward. Of course, youcan put photos. It can be a
photo of the person, if you haveit, but it could also be photos,
or pictures that representthings about them, not
necessarily like a posedportrait. It can be like a
canned and silly photo or ablurry photo, or it can be a

(01:13:26):
photo of a type of a car thatthey once had or loved, or a
type of a place that they wantedto go, or their dream house, or
something about them, right? Soit doesn't have to be from them.
It can be something thatrepresents healing that you've
done, a word or a symbol or aquote, or a tiny object that

(01:13:47):
represents to you growth orhealing or forgiveness or
clarity that came after theirpassing. For example, you can
include things tied to yourongoing connection. So it could
be little descriptions of signsthat they've sent, or of a new
memory resurfaces. You can jotthat down or record it and put
it in there, or take a photo ofit. It can be reflections of how

(01:14:11):
they show up for you now, orthings that like, you know how
sometimes we hear someone giveus advice or something, and it
doesn't really make sense at thetime. And then as we grow later,
we're like, oh, that's what theymeant. It can be when those type
of it's called when the pennydrops, or when something clicks
in when you connect some dots.
If you want to do audio orvideo, you can a short voicemail

(01:14:34):
in their voice, if you have thator recording of you talking
about them, photos of a safetext thread, or a video of you
telling a story about them orother people that knew them
sharing stories about them, canalso be collected if you want to
take it a little further, andthis can be placed on like a USB
drive or a digital folder andlabeled with their name for

(01:14:55):
years to keep going. And if youwant to take it a little deeper,
you can do this as like a yearlyritual, or you can open and
explore this box on memories orholidays or once a year or when
something new happens. You canintentionally pass it forward
and give this memory box to yourchildren or a close family
member or someone that lovedthem. You can pair it with

(01:15:17):
traits that you like the mostabout them for future
generations. You could even, Ireally love this idea. I did
this in a different way forsomeone before you could even
create a list of questions topass out to this person's family
or friends so that they couldeach answer about this person
from their own perspective andtheir own relationship, things
like One memory I have with thisperson is or something they

(01:15:41):
always said, their favoritefood, what they what you know,
what they remember as thisperson's like, favorite things
or things they love to do. Soyou're getting other people's
perspective of this loved oneand combining them all. That's a
really beautiful thing to do.
You could even create this foryourself, for younger.
Generations of your own family.

(01:16:02):
You could be the person in thememory box. You could include a
letter to future generations, orthings like, what I wish I knew
sooner. Type golden nuggets,right? This is so powerful this
legacy box, because it's notabout preserving sadness. It's
about curating meaning. Itreframes remembrance as
something you build, notsomething to like, cling to in a

(01:16:25):
stuck way. It's a map of ourlove and container for healing
and a thread of that person'sidentity. It's a gift to future
versions of you or futureversions of your family, and a
reminder that this relationshipcontinues to grow, just as love
continues on, and you're alsosaying you're still a part of
our story, and your story willcontinue through me or through

(01:16:48):
us. Okay, I am down to the lastone of these. This is an
incredible way, but an elaborateway, of remembering someone. And
even within this idea, there arevery simple versions and very
elaborate versions. So this isthe spirit dinner. Now, what is
the spirit dinner? It's asymbolic, highly personal dinner

(01:17:10):
where each dish or elementrepresents an aspect of your
loved one on the other side. Soit can really be any gathering
in their honor, a game night, amovie night, a beach picnic. You
can get as creative as you want.
It doesn't have to be a quote,unquote dinner, per se. It's
just a title. So the realconcept here is spirit dinner is
not about recreating a lovedone's recipes, although you

(01:17:33):
could do a version of that ifyour loved one loved to cook and
left great recipes or something.
But it's more about creating asymbolic meal that represents
different parts of theirpersonality, their life, your
relationship, or the qualitiesyou want to carry forward. It
can be as simple as one plateeaten alone on a TV tray, or as
elaborate as a full tablespread. The point is intention,

(01:17:57):
not the ingredients. So how doesthis one work? Essentially, you
choose one or more elements ofthe meal and let them represent
like a trait that this personembodied, or something that they
wish they'd done more of, orsomething you are ready to bring
forward in your own life, orsomething you want to honor,
heal or reclaim. So it can looklike, for example, like a spicy

(01:18:19):
dish if this person was bold oroutspoken or a cozy suit,
because they always nurtured youand gave you just what you
needed when you were feelingoff. It could be something crisp
and refreshing because theyvalued honesty, or they were
very direct or clear. It couldbe something sweet because they
often sweetened or softened yourlife, or you sweetened theirs.

(01:18:41):
It can be something colorfulbecause their presence is very
vibrant. It can be somethingvery simple because they loved
simply and lived simply andappreciate the simple, beautiful
things in life. So this couldbe, for example, like a plate of
bright citrus salad to honorthat aunt who lit up every room
and brought color wherever shewent. It could be a small dish

(01:19:04):
of roasted almonds to honor yourgrandpa, who always kept almonds
in his pocket for his roadtrips. It could be a bowl of
lentil soup because it's theonly thing someone's mother
would make when they wanted tofeel cared for by the family. It
could be a slice of bread withhoney, because someone's brother
always said life is sweeter thanwe realize. It can be a mug of

(01:19:26):
mint tea because a friend on theother side give comforting
advice and always brewed tea foryou as they talk to you. It
could be, if maybe they're areal sweet tooth. It could be a
special rich treat in honor ofthem. It doesn't have to be the
thing they liked, right? If youdon't like the same thing, like
if they love chocolate cake andso do you great. But what if

(01:19:47):
they love chocolate cake and youhate chocolate cake, don't have
chocolate cake and memory ofthem have something that you
enjoy that's inspired by thememory of their love of
chocolate cake, right? So theritual moment before you eat,
you could simply say this partis for the laughter I miss. This
part is for the guidance I stillfeel. This part is for the way
you shaped me. This is the lifethat I want to continue living

(01:20:11):
because of you. It doesn't haveto be pressure. You don't have
to make it formal like that andactually declare something, but
it's just that intention, asyou're choosing the dishes and
enjoying them, that you'rereally realizing and connecting
those dots inside of yourselfabout the meaning behind it. And
this is so powerful, because theSpirit dinner turns memory into
meaning and meaning intoembodiment, like an action, a

(01:20:34):
physical thing that we're doing,you're literally taking in the
qualities, the memories, thesymbolic aspects of your loved
ones, not holding on to someversion of them in the past, but
bringing part of who they areinto where we are now. And if
you want to take it to the nextlevel, you can do this as the
Spirit dinner potluck. Andagain, it doesn't have to be

(01:20:56):
just a quote, unquote dinner. Itcan be a beach picnic or a game
night or a. Whatever it is thatfeels genuine to you or your
group. So what is the spirit?
Dinner? Potluck, it's abeautiful, intimate gathering
where friends or family eachbring a symbolic dish inspired
by personality, memory, essenceof this shared loved one on the

(01:21:16):
other side. Or you could do it,where everyone brings a dish
representing their own specialperson. So it could be all about
the same person, or all aboutpeople's own people that they
miss. So if we're doing it allabout the same person, let's
just say, let's say we all haveone friend in common that we all
love very much, who'stransitioned to the spirit
world. We could invite a smallcircle of people who loved this

(01:21:39):
person, your person right, orwho you feel safe or comfortable
with, and we can ask each personto bring a dish that represents
either like a memory they havewith this person, or an inside
joke or a personality trait or alesson they admired, or a moment
that still makes them laugh, ormaybe like a wish that this
person had. For all of you, Icouldn't even be like macaroni

(01:22:02):
and cheese, because this personalways laid it on thick, or they
were so comforting that italways felt like home to be with
them. Think outside the box withthis one. I'm going to give a
couple examples just to help youimagine what you could do in
this one. So if someone, forexample, this person had like, a
little sparkle or spice orflare, because that person was

(01:22:25):
always doing the most in thebest way. You could do something
that feels like Sunday morning,like cinnamon rolls. If this
person used to make Sundaybrunch, or go to brunch with
you, because that's their quiet,sacred time, you could make
something that's like a biglaugh for someone who like
hilariously or intentionally wassilly. You could make a dish

(01:22:46):
that feels just silly or playfulor whimsical in some way. So
really, you can do whatever youwant. Here. Maybe you're going
to bring something you know,cozy and calm and simple,
because this person was groundedand easy going. So it's really
about the personality and thememories that it invokes for
each individual person that'sbringing their own dish here.

(01:23:08):
And it's helpful to have peoplesign up if you are going to do
this, so we have enough, likeappetizers, main dishes,
desserts, so we don't get justlike a whole table of desserts.
But hey, maybe that is yourloved one, and they would love a
whole table of desserts and thenfor everyone to have to order
pizza or something. So you'llsee how it can be so
quintessentially them onmultiple layers at once. So to

(01:23:29):
open the potluck, you couldthink about saying something
like tonight, we're rememberingnot just who this person was in
our lives, but how they live onthrough each of us right now,
and each person can share evenjust one sentence about why they
brought their dish and keep itlight right. Heartfelt, no
pressure. This works sobeautifully because it creates

(01:23:52):
connection without heaviness.
Sometimes hearing our loved onesshared through someone else's
experience really touches ourheart in a different way,
because all of us touch so manypeople and spread love in
different ways, it can turngrief into shared meaning and
community, especially if yourperson loved gatherings or loved

(01:24:14):
bringing people together, andthe gathering becomes more about
celebration and community andtogetherness than sadness, and
it allows each person tocontribute one piece of what
this person meant to them. Andit can become a tradition, if
you really want to take it far,that can evolve year after year
as people want to, you know,expand with it. You could even

(01:24:36):
play music that reminds you ofthem while you cook or set up or
have the meal, or add candles tothe table representing their
light still shining from each ofyou. You could keep the focus on
love and connection and sharedstories. And again, this can
repeat annually, seasonally,even spontaneously, on like a

(01:24:58):
random Saturday night wheneveryone's free. So it's really
just a whole nother layered,deep way to bring this person
into our day to day, lives, intoour present and into the
relationships that we share withother people who loved them, if
we want to take it that far. Soas we come to a close today, I

(01:25:18):
want you to remember somethingreally important. You do not
have to do all of these ideas.
Obviously, you do not have toturn your grief or your love
into a project. Your loved onein spirit, is not grading you on
how you honor them. Evenchoosing one simple practice
from this list, like a micromoment of ritual or wearing
something in their honor, cancreate a real thread of

(01:25:40):
connection. I know something Ido in my day to day life,
privately that no one else wouldever even recognize was going
on. And maybe you feel drawn tobuilding a living memory shelf
or starting a continuingconversation letter or putting
together a playlist that feelslike this person's essence.
Maybe you're ready for somethingdeeper. Like a legacy box or a
spirit dinner or a potluck, ifyou're going to really go all

(01:26:04):
out, but whatever you choose,the heart of this is this, your
relationship did not end. Itchanged form. It changed the way
the interaction happens. Theseideas are simply different doors
that you can walk through tofeel that bond in a way that
fits who you are now. Grief canbe loud, especially around the

(01:26:24):
holidays, and it can alsosurprise us at very random times
of the year or the day, and Iencourage you to be gentle with
yourself. There's no righttimeline. There's no right or
wrong way to do this. Your lovedone in in the spirit world,
they're not asking you toperform your pain or your
sadness. They're cheering foryou. They want your healing,

(01:26:46):
your joy and you to live yourmost authentic life. One of the
most powerful ways you can honoryour loved ones on the other
side is by living, by laughingagain when you feel ready, by
resting, by saying yes to whatis truly aligned for you, and
sometimes by saying no, bycarrying forward the best of who

(01:27:07):
they are, and in some cases,doing it differently in ways
that they maybe wished that theyhad. And one of the most
powerful parts of this episodeis that hopefully it gave you a
new idea, a new inspiration. Andif you did have an idea that was
born out of the inspiration ofany of these ideas or your own

(01:27:33):
idea that you do, I would loveit if you would share it.
And I hope that you will trysomething new this week or this
season. Notice how you feel, andif you are comfortable sharing
it, I would love it if you wouldalso share this episode with
someone who's missing a personthis season and might need some
fresh, gentle ways to stayconnected. And if you enjoy

(01:27:55):
these conversations here with mein spirit speakeasy, it is a
huge help when you follow thepodcast, wherever you are
listening to this, please leavea review if you can, or share
your favorite episode on socialmedia or with a friend. It helps
more sensitive souls who aregrieving and growing find this
special space that we've createdhere together, you and I. You

(01:28:16):
never know who needs to hearthat their loved ones are still
close and that they're allowedto live fully and honor them at
the same time. So thank you somuch for spending this time with
me today and with your loved onein the spirit world. I am
sending you so much love asalways. I will meet you again
here inside spirit. Speak Easy.
Bye for now. You.

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14 Surprisingly Meaningful Ways to Honor Loved Ones in Spirit (Holiday or Anytime)

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