7 Unique Memorials: Turning Grief Into Art, Ink, Trees & Stardust

Episode Transcript
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Unknown (00:01):
Joy, hey, beautiful soul, welcome to spirit
speakeasy. I'm Joy Giovanni,joyful medium. I'm a working
psychic medium, energy healerand spiritual gifts mentor. This
podcast is like a seat at thetable in a secret club, but with
mediums, mystics and thespiritual luminaries of our
time. So come behind the velvetropes with me and see inside my

(00:24):
world as I chat insider stylewith profoundly gifted souls, we
go deep, share juicy stories,laugh a lot, and it wouldn't be
a speakeasy without greatinsider secrets and tips. You
might even learn that you havesome gifts of your own. So step
inside the spirit. Speak Easy.

(00:45):
Hey, beautiful soul,welcome back, or welcome in for
another episode of spiritspeakeasy. On this week's
episode, we are going to betalking about seven unique
memorials turning grief intoart, ink, trees and stardust. If
you've ever wondered about themore creative, unusual or deeply
personal ways people arehonoring their loved ones today,

(01:08):
this episode is for you, fromtattoos made with cremation
ashes to digital memorials, reefballs and even space burials, we
are exploring some of the mostfascinating and soul stirring
modern morning rituals happeningin our world right now, after

(01:29):
sharing the recent episodeexploring unusual and sometimes
taboo morning practices of thepast, like post mortem
photography, Victorian era hair,art and morning jewelry. I was
flooded with curiosity andcomments from listeners
everywhere. And then it got methinking, Are there any modern

(01:51):
equivalents to these unusualMemorial practices that I
haven't heard of or that mostpeople haven't heard of, as you
might imagine, in my work as amedium, I get to hear lots of
unique and special and creativeways people memorialize their
own loved ones who've crossedover to the spirit world. But we

(02:12):
don't often get to talk aboutways we're honoring and
remembering our loved ones. Now,in many ways, some of these
might feel a little unusual.
They're definitely deeplypersonal, or some might even
seem taboo to you. Even some ofthese grief, after all, is
universal, but the way weexpress it really evolves with

(02:35):
time, culture and eventechnology, as we'll talk about
today. In this episode, we'llexplore seven unique and
meaningful ways people today arememorializing those they've
lost, from tattoo ink infusedwith ashes to digital avatars
and voice clones to reef ballson the ocean floor or ashes

(02:57):
launched into space. Yes, that'sa real thing. Today's morning
tokens aren't always found inurns or under gravestones.
They're found in creativity, inintention, in this idea of
legacy. And the truth is, manyof these options reflect not
just how someone passed away,but how they actually lived and

(03:20):
who they are in theirpersonality and in their lives,
they represent the lives they'veled, the values they held, the
things they loved or evendreamed about, whether it's a
tree growing in their honor or avinyl record that plays their
voice, or maybe even a bear madefrom their favorite T shirt,
each personal tribute tells itsown special story. So as we

(03:44):
explore these beautiful andsometimes bold ways of
remembering, I invite you tojust consider and ask yourself,
what would feel most like thepeople that you love that you
might lose one day and wouldwant to memorialize and even
maybe open your mind and heartto thinking about what kind of
legacy do you want to leavebehind? I do end up thinking

(04:08):
about this quite a bit, probablyjust because, like I said, my
work is a medium. I get to hearall of these wonderfully special
and super creative ways that Ididn't even know existed for
memorializing people. So itreally gets me thinking about
how I might want to startpreparing to memorialize, you
know, my like my parents, forexample, my dad, or what I might

(04:32):
want to start thinking aboutsetting up for my own adult
kiddos one day. So let's diveright in the first of these
seven that I want to share thesecreative ways to memorialize our
loved ones are cremation jewelryand memorial stones. You'll see
why I put this all under oneheading together. In a way,

(04:54):
wearing a keepsake of a lovedone isn't necessarily a new
idea, right, like we talkedabout in that last. Last
episode, Victorians wore locketswith portraits or sometimes
snippets of hair. Someindigenous cultures craft
amulets with symbolic remains orpersonal items like bone or
things that belong to theperson. But now, technology has

(05:15):
taken this idea even furtherinto something dazzling,
personal and honestly, this onecan be a little controversial
for some. One of the moreelaborate versions is the
memorial diamond. There arecompanies out there that will
take a small amount of thecremated remains of your loved

(05:38):
one. The cremains, usually it'ssaid to be like about half of a
cup. So not all of them, butjust about half a cup's worth.
And they put them through thishigh pressure, high temperature
process that mimics the naturalformation of diamonds. Like, if
you've ever heard of a labcreated diamond that they create
in the laboratory for like anengagement ring. Well, they can

(05:59):
now create these with thecremated remains of your very
special loved one, and in just afew months, you receive back in
the mail a sparkling gemstonethat you can have sometimes
they'll do it for you as part ofthis whole experience, but they
they'll cut it, polish it, setit in a ring or a pendant or a

(06:19):
bracelet, or however you'd like.
And I want to point out thatthese stones aren't synthetic
look alikes. They're chemicallyreal diamonds, except instead of
being mined from the earth, theyare forged from the essence of
someone you love in alaboratory. Some are clear.
Others take on colors, like softblue or yellow. I even have a

(06:42):
client shout out. They know whothey are. I have a client that
has a lovely black diamond,which is so special and personal
to the relationship with theloved one that it memorializes
using that person's crematedashes, a little bit of them, and
it's just so personal andsignificant and is a beautiful

(07:04):
representation and makes sensefor them with their loved one.
So they do come in colors thataren't just clear. And you can
even choose the cut round orprincess, which is the square
cushion, which is the squarewith the edges softened. It
becomes really your specialexperience and your ritual

(07:25):
creating this. Another reallysweet option that's growing in
popularity is fingerprintjewelry. I've seen this quite a
bit. It's it's actually reallyspecial, and people are getting
more and more creative with it.
So some people because gettingthe diamond is a little pricey.
It's kind of up in that the lasttime I looked it up from some of

(07:49):
the commercial websites that doit, it's a couple 1000 to
several, many $1,000 but there'ssomething that's a little less
expensive. So some people areactually taking the fingerprint
of their loved ones. So like,the actual fingerprint, whether
it's captured from, like,hospital records, old documents
and ink pads, some people thinkahead to, like, do their

(08:11):
fingerprints or leave theirfingerprints behind. I've known
people to do it kind of bedsidewith their loved one in hospice,
just because they want to makesure they have it. So however
you get the fingerprints, youcan get them, and you can have
that fingerprint, the actualswirl pattern, engraved into a
charm, a necklace, a bracelet, aring. It's very subtle and very

(08:34):
beautiful, and it's reallysomething special to carry that
only you know is there. There'ssomething deeply grounding about
that texture too, because it hasthe actual ridges. It's not just
the symbol. It's their actualtouch, their imprint, their
fingerprint, proof that theyexisted tangibly. Other versions

(08:55):
of cremated remains jewelry aremaybe more accessible. So I've
even also seen little lockets ora tiny, little vessel, tiny
little, you know, they also makethem with like fairy dust. If
you've ever seen those, like atDisney or at, you know, more
theme parks, those little, tiny,tiny glass vessels that I've

(09:17):
seen, people actually put a tinybit of the ashes inside. I've
seen it done in lockets thatthen can sometimes be sealed.
I've seen beads like that youwould make into a necklace or
bracelet. The actual beads madefrom resin and a mixture of the
ash that those cremain ashes oreven glass pendants that have a

(09:38):
swirl of the ashes, and thoseashes are swirled into patterns
to look like ocean waves orbeautiful swirling Galaxy
patterns. I've seen people wearthese pieces on like full
display, almost as if it's likea protective amulet and way to
really hold their loved one overtheir heart. And I've seen
others choose not to displaythem at all. Keeping them very

(10:00):
private, either tucked away in adrawer, some of these you might
be able to recognize, like thelittle, tiny vessels or vials of
ashes. Others, the diamond thatI've seen on a beautiful ring,
you wouldn't even ever know thatthat's what it was. So there's
something so intimate andspecial about this kind of

(10:22):
morning. It's not just symbolic.
It's like more embodied. Itkeeps a part of that person
literally so close to your heartor your physical body. Of
course, not everyone iscomfortable with this. For some,
the idea of using crematedremains, cremains in this way
feels odd or unsettling. And ofcourse, that's okay. Every grief

(10:44):
is different. Every legacy needsto be honored in its own special
way. But for those who feelcalled to it, cremation jewelry
can be a way to kind ofalchemize this loss into
something tangible, somethingyou can reach for when your
heart is really hurting, or juston a daily basis, when you want

(11:05):
to keep that loved one justreally close over your heart, or
kind of on your on yourselfthroughout the day. So I think
the the creaming jewelry is areally cool option that I've
seen increasing over the lastfew years. The second of these
seven unique and creative waysto memorialize that I want to

(11:27):
talk about is Memorial tattoosand ink infused with ashes. So
these obviously go together, ifyou don't know why, you'll see
as we go some memorials don'tsit on a shelf or hang around
your neck. Some can be literallycarved into the skin, permanent,
sacred, intentional Memorialtattoos are becoming an

(11:51):
increasingly common way forpeople to honor their loved
ones. It doesn't have to just bea name or a date anymore, like
it used to be,I do have it come through in
readings occasionally where thespirit person will let me know,
oh, this person has a memorialtattoo of me, or they're
thinking about getting amemorial tattoo, or several
friends have matching tattoos. Ieven recently had a dad in the

(12:14):
spirit world come through, andit was his daughter that was my
client, and he was teasing andsaying, she has a memorial
tattoo for him, but it's hidden,and even if you saw it, you
wouldn't know that it was forhim, because it's a special
symbol rather than his name orlike a portrait photograph type
tattoo of him. These tattoos areoften deeply symbolic in this

(12:37):
way, like in this example thatwe're talking about, where it's
like something that even if yousaw it, you wouldn't know what
it was. You could choose theirfavorite flower, even like the
flower of their birth month, aportrait of your beloved pet.
I've seen some really cool petportraits as memorials. You
could choose a phrase that hadmeaning in your loved one's
story or in their life, you caneven choose, I've seen this

(13:02):
recently, and it's so coolsomething in their handwriting,
like if you had a greeting cardfrom them, or if they left a
note that you had saved, youcould have the tattoo artist use
that actual handwriting, or Eventheir actual signature from like
a document or something which isreally cool and just seems

(13:24):
really special. You know, itcould be even something as
simple as, like, I love youforever, if you had from a note
or a card. And of course, itcould be a birthday or a
significant number in, likeRoman numerals or even regular
numerals. You can tattoo theirfingerprint. You can tattoo
something privately significant,like a special symbol or a

(13:45):
meaningful token that only thetwo of you would know, that
honors this person, but thoseyou might have already heard of,
there is a really unique andpowerful variation of this that
is growing in popularity. Soit's almost like this is taking
this memorial tattoo idea to thenext level. There are tattoo

(14:10):
artists out there that arecreating tattoos that are also
made with cremation ash infusedink. So it's like the regular
tattoo ink that you would usefor any tattoo. And then certain
tattoo artists that are trainedto do this are infusing some of
the ink with some of thecremated ashes. So actually some

(14:30):
of that person's ashes are beingneedled in with the ink as part
of the tattoo. So they theircremated remains are actually
part of the tattoo itself. So inthis process, essentially a
small amount of crematedremains. In this case, it's said
to be just like, about ateaspoon, just a little tiny

(14:52):
bit. They sterilize it, theypulverize it, grind it really,
really fine, and mix it into thetattoo. Doing, and then the
tattoo is done. Business asusual, but with the added
knowledge that you're literallycarrying a piece of your person
blended in as part of thistattoo. This is incredibly
intimate for some. It feelsalmost like a spiritual

(15:16):
experience, like their loved oneis part of their blood, their
body, their journey forward.
These kinds of tattoos aresometimes placed, like over the
heart. They could be placed onthe wrist or forearm, anywhere
that the wearer either sees themor feels like that's where they
want to be connected. I've seenit where someone has it, like on

(15:39):
their side, and it's becausethey're always beside them. I've
seen it where they have it ontheir shoulder, and it's because
they always have their back. Soit's really having intention
through all of it, even in theplacement, and placing it
somewhere that just feels likeit makes sense for you as part
of the way that you want tohonor this person. Of course,

(16:00):
this idea is not withoutcontroversy. Some people in the
medical field raise concernsabout the sterility of the
ashes, like how hygienic isthis? And not all tattoo
artists, of course, are willingor even trained to work with
this kind of ink, so it'simportant to do your research
carefully, just like hopefullyyou would do with any tattoo,

(16:21):
and work with someone who isexperienced and who's really
respectful of the emotionalweight behind this type of
tattoo and really has adedication to the entire process
of doing it the right way. Andhopefully you could find someone
that's trained or certified inthis still, for those that
choose this form of expression.
This kind of tattoo isn't justabout esthetics. It's about

(16:43):
presence. It's about claiming apiece of your grief and
transforming it into somethingincredibly sacred, not to be
forgotten, but to be carriedforward with us now, while
Memorial tattoos bring arepresentation of love shared
that can be displayed on thebody itself. Not everyone feels
called to something quite sopermanent. You know, some people

(17:08):
don't believe in tattoos forcultural or religious reasons or
fear based or like they justscared of needles or don't want
tattoos. So not everyone feelscalled to do something so
permanent or so extreme as this,for some, the urge to create and
make something with their ownhands, that is, you know,
forming something thatrepresents their loved one or

(17:32):
reminds them of them, can becomejust as much of the part of the
healing. And just likeeverything, whether it's a
tattoo or this next segmentwe're going to talk about, these
expressions of remembrancearen't always public. They're
not for everyone else. They'refor you privately. So they're
often quiet, soft, deeplypersonal expressions of our love

(17:53):
for our person that's crossedover. They hold so much meaning,
because sometimes the mostpowerful tributes are also the
most personal. And in our nextnumber three of these unique
creative keepsakes, you willlearn that some of the most
powerful tributes are handmade.

(18:16):
There's something about fabricthat holds memory. Maybe it's,
you know, the softness like of areally well worn, well loved t
shirt for many years of use.
Maybe it's something about thescent that still lingers, either
on like the collar of a shirt,or the, you know, fresh scent of
laundry detergent that we'reused to with someone, the tiny

(18:38):
hole in the elbow of theirfavorite sweatshirt because they
really loved it and wore it somany times. Clothing becomes
kind of part of our unspokenbiography, of our lives. We all
have those favorite pieces thatwe reach for, and some of us
even have very special piecesthat we think of someone
wearing. You know, maybe youhave a loved one that always

(19:01):
wore a certain denim jacket, orthe way you remember your
grandma is particularly infloral 90s. For example, fabric
really holds more meaning thanjust the article of clothing
itself, right? That's why somany people are turning to
handmade keepsakes crafted fromtheir loved ones garments, which

(19:24):
is number three of our unusualkeepsakes, crafts from clothing
and handmade memorials. Sopeople use, obviously, their
loved ones garments, whetherit's a shirt or a
pajamas or favorite sweatshirtas a way to keep their essence

(19:45):
alive in something tangible,something that they can hold and
be comforted by. And often this,this is like a functional item
that is being creative. One ofthe most cherished forms of this
is the memory bear maybe you.
Heard of this. I actually havetold a few clients about this
idea recently, and they hadn'theard of it. So I wanted to make
sure I included it. It'sessentially a small stuffed like

(20:08):
a teddy bear, like a child'sbear, type of a bear, sewn with
a loved one's clothing.
Sometimes they're even made tobe gifted to grandchildren or
children after the loss of aparent or grandparent, but they
hold just as much meaning foradults. So even if you're a
grown up person, you can makethese of your loved ones

(20:30):
clothing or even blankets aswell. The Bear might even wear
like a special little bow madefrom your loved one's necktie,
or have button eyes that thebuttons came from a special
flannel shirt or jacket or suitcoat. It's something to hold
close when that grief is reallyloud, or even just to keep

(20:53):
around you as a way to continueto infuse your space with things
that belong to this loved one.
There are things like memorypillows. Sometimes those are
made from shirts or dresses orbathrobes. Some families leave a
pocket on the front. Like, youknow how shirts have pockets,
they make it where there's likea pocket on the front. And they

(21:14):
can have that memory pillow andput the pocket of the shirt on
the very front, and I've evenseen it embroidered with really
sweet phrases, like, you know,this is a shirt I used to wear
when you hold it, you know, I'mthere, or even embroidering
their name, or monogrammingtheir initials or something
there, sometimes people chooseto sew, like a swatch of fabric

(21:36):
into A significant outfit. I'veknown people to do this for like
a wedding dress, for example, ora marriage garment, right? That
they one of their loved onescouldn't physically be there,
mom or dad or someone really abrother, someone really
significant, and they've taken apiece of that person's old t
shirt or a significant piece ofclothing and either cut it and

(21:59):
sewn it into the lining ortucked it into a pocket. I knew
someone that stitched a part oftheir mom's favorite blouse into
like a military graduationoutfit. They obviously the front
has to look like it's has tolook but no one knows what you
have sewn just insideunderneath. So there's lots of
creative ways to do this,whether it's for a wedding or

(22:23):
graduation, a christening or aceremony of any kind. It's a
special way to keep your lovedones near. Even the smallest
touch can be a part of somethingbigger. Think about like those
old fashioned patchwork quilts.
You could make a quilt fromfavorite pajamas or button

(22:43):
downs, and just take all of themand have pieces cut and sewn
into like a big quilt. You couldeven have journal covers made
from favorite pair of jeans orfavorite flannel. You can make a
wall hanging like a picturecrafted from several ties or
scarves, whatever that personhas one client I spoke to,

(23:04):
created a whole book of swatchesof little cut out pieces of
clothing and and she said thateach piece of fabric, you know,
she glued them each to a page.
So just like you would ascrapbook or a memory book, and
she wrote a little note, amemory about each piece of
clothing, what it was a memorywith it, what it carried, you
know, the she did it like shedid one for each of her parents,

(23:28):
actually, is the way the storygoes. And it was like a piece of
her mom's ribbon, not ribbonapron that were the ribbon of
the apron, because it had, likethis really cool pattern on it.
And she put that in there, andshe wrote little note about like
when they used to bake, and alittle bit of a memory from
that. So it can really be aspersonal and as elaborate as you

(23:50):
want it to be. It becomes likethis tactile legacy, a way to
tell the stories of our lovedones with tangible items, not
just words, these keepsakes,they're they're not necessarily
expensive. If you're handy andcan sew, you can make them
yourself. I actually have alsodone some research. I have a

(24:11):
quilt idea that I've alwayswanted to do for my own kids.
And on websites like Etsy, thereare other people's amazing
grandmas will make these thingsfor you. You just commission
them and send them the things,and they will send it right back
to you, so you don't even haveto be handy yourself. Which made
me really happy to know, becauseeven though I love the idea of

(24:32):
doing it, you know, we're all alittle busy, so don't put it
down to you just don't havetime. There's other options. And
you know, something that'sstitched with love that we
always can have with us everclose. So clothing can be made
into all kinds of amazing thingsas really special, incredibly
personal ways to remember. Thefourth thing that I want to talk

(24:55):
about here in our seven really.
Special, unique ways that peopleare currently memorializing
people is this idea of returningthem to the earth, biodegradable
memorials and natural burials.
Okay? This one is for all of myearth lovers, my crunchy
granola. Woo, woo, folks outthere, I actually really like

(25:17):
this one as well. We've talkedabout how grief can be worn or
inked or stitched, but nowsometimes some of the most
sacred remembrances are aboutletting go. So in allowing the
body to return to the earth, notto be hidden away, but woven
back into the natural world,there are growing movements

(25:40):
towards green and biodegradableburials, and within that, there
are some really thoughtful, evenpoetic, beautiful options for
memorializing loved ones. Let'sstart with some that you might
have heard of now. They aremaking biodegradable tree urns.
So essentially, it's a specialurn container that is a

(26:04):
combination of a portion of thecremated remains, those cremains
with a young sapling, like ayoung tree. And usually it's
tucked into a compostable pod.
So as this pod breaks down, theroots of the tree grow through
the ashes and transform whatwas, you know, the cremains of a

(26:28):
loved one, this really heavygrief and loss, into something
literally alive and beautiful.
Some families choose to plantthese trees in their own
backyards. Others use designatedMemorial forests. So there are
plots of land that instead ofbeing like a cemetery where
people are buried, it is amemorial forest where lots of

(26:49):
these eco, biodegradable treesare planted with cremains. So
that's another way to do it,another option where multiple
family members can, you know, beplaced all together, if you
like. It's a really powerfulsymbol of this circle of life,
and that love doesn't end, itjust continues to grow in a

(27:10):
different way. So you might haveheard of that one. There is a
maybe more intimate, organicapproach that is called the
mycelium burial suit. This isalso, in a, like a pop culture
kind of a way, sometimes calleda mushroom death suit. I think
that's just for click bait.

(27:30):
Essentially, it's a full bodygarment, like a suit that you
would wear laced with a specialfungus, fungi designated or
designed to break down the bodynaturally. So it's literally
some sort of mesh suit that hasmushrooms, fungi, fungus laced
into it that will break downyour body naturally. The

(27:53):
mycelium neutralizes toxins andsupports new growth in the soil,
creating a clean return to theearth without about embalming
chemicals, creating imbalancesin the earth or leeching heavy
metals into the earth. Somepeople see this as a final act
of environmental stewardship.
Others view it spiritually,almost, as an offering back to

(28:15):
the planet that held them andsustained them. You might also
hear about something callednatural shroud burials. This is
essentially where the body iswrapped in simple cloth made
from natural fibers like cottonor wool or linen, and laid to
rest without a casket or avault. I was wondering if it was

(28:35):
going to get loud down here, Iclosed all my windows just to
try to mitigate some of thisnoise. But as you guys know, I
live in a kind of a downtownarea, and it gets a little bit
crazy. So sorry about that.
Let's get back to these shroudburials. So the body is wrapped

(28:56):
in simple cloth, right, naturalfibers, cotton, wool, linen, and
it is laid to rest with nocasket. So in some cases, people
might plant herbs or flowers andkind of tuck them all around the
person and plant them on top.
It's really humble andintentional and beautiful.

(29:17):
There are also these really coolthings at sort of a next level
of that, which is calledwildflower meadow burial. So
this is a burial that takesplace in a natural meadow,
resting amongst wildflowers andnative grasses and wild blooms
growing freely all around you.
These natural cemeteries oftenskip headstones and instead,

(29:39):
loved ones receive GPScoordinates to mark the spot
where they were placed. Overtime, the grave becomes just
part of a landscape, living,breathing memorial in a field of
wildflowers. I really love theseoptions, and I think they're
really beautiful. I want to givea quick. But important note

(29:59):
here, you guys hopefully startto know how my mind works with
this one, all of these options,the tree urn, the mycelium suit,
the shroud burials, theWildflower burials. They're all
legal in many places, but thesearen't allowed everywhere.
Burial lawns can vary from stateto state, not lawns laws, sorry.

(30:20):
Burial laws can vary from stateto state, obviously, like you
might imagine, and even betweencemeteries, like one cemetery
might allow certain things andanother might not allow so just
make sure that you're checkingin some locations might require
things like special permits orto be placed in a special area,
some might require theinvolvement of like a funeral,

(30:44):
funeral director or someone tocertify that you're doing it
properly. Natural burials areoften easiest to arrange through
like a green, certified orconservation type cemetery, but
private land burials might bepossible depending on zoning
laws, wherever you are. So ifyou're drawn to these types of
Earth honoring final restingsand goodbyes, it's a great idea

(31:07):
to check with your localregulations or to speak with a
green burial provider in yourarea. Each of these choices
brings focus back to the naturalcycle, which is part of what I
love about it, this birth,death, rebirth, regeneration,
transformation, and they ask usto really view our passing, not
as a vanishing, but as acontinuation, a transformation,

(31:29):
a gift. There's no right way tosay goodbye, but for those who
feel called to honor the body'ssacred return to Earth, these
earthly memorials offer kind ofa grounded beauty, one that
speaks to the soul, to the soil,to the stars. So I really like
those kind of nature, Earthburials. Number five on the list

(31:50):
I want to share with you ofthese new fangled, unusual ways
to memorialize is digital.
Afterlives mourning in the ageof technology, so grief, back in
the day, used to live indiaries, where people would just
write their feelings. We mighthave had some photo albums. We

(32:13):
might have had some quiet,private moments with low lights
and sitting with our memories.
But now in current day, in thelives of cloud space and
playlists and timelines thatcontinue long after someone has
passed, technology's reallyopened up a whole new world for
mourning and remembering, aworld where legacy and memory

(32:36):
aren't just preserved, butsometimes reimagined. And for
many people, it starts reallysimply. So you may have heard of
this, but a lot of people aredoing memorialized social media
pages, and when you're doingyour will and your documents,
there are even additionaldocuments and settings within
some of these platforms calledLegacy settings, that you can

(33:01):
assign someone to take over youraccount in the event of your
passing, and they could keepyour account alive as like a
memorial place where people canI've seen these on like Facebook
or Instagram. Let me know ifyou've seen these. There's often
an option to memorialize theaccount after someone's passed,
so the account sometimes can befrozen, but still visible, and

(33:24):
friends and family can stillleave messages. I have someone
that they did this for severalyears ago, and many people will
go on every year and wish him ahappy birthday on his birthday,
which is fun and lovely, and Ithink it means something to the
family that's left behindpeople. Sometimes I've seen
this. I just was talking to amom about this the other day who

(33:47):
has a kiddo, a grown kiddo inspirit, and this kiddo had a
social media page, and thefriends after this person's
passing continue to share photosand memories and things that the
mom hadn't seen or had accessto. So these social media pages
can make really beautifulMemorial pages, Memorial places.

(34:10):
We can tag photos and leavemessages and send love to the
family. So it becomes kind of avirtual headstone, if you will,
a place to visit, especially onholidays and special days,
right? But did you know thatthere's also something called an
online Memorial website, andthey even have guest books. What

(34:34):
do I mean? There are websitesspecifically designed to honor a
loved one's memory. So insteadof it being run by a social
media account or page, this islike your own website, like
anyone can create a web page, awebsite, it might have a
timeline of their life, detailsabout the different phases of

(34:55):
their life to really share witheveryone who loved them. It
could include things like peoplethat wrote, not only the
obituary, but like biographiesor letters to them, kind words
to them. You know, sometimes alot of people might like to
speak at the memorial service,but we only want family to
speak, or there's only a limitedtime. This is a great way for

(35:16):
other people to share theirwords of love and remembrance,
maybe don't have time to speakout like a memorial service.
This can also be another placewhere people can share photos
and videos and even like voicerecordings or voicemails that
they might have of this person.
And you can even create it orhave it created again. For those

(35:37):
of you that aren't crafty, Iwould need to have someone
create this. For me, you canhave someone set up a digital
guest book where friends andfamily who visit the website can
not only share stories andvideos, but can leave a note
that they were there, or couldleave a holiday note or a
birthday note, or could evenjust share what's going on with
them. So this is a nice way touse technology to keep an

(36:03):
ongoing memorial page. You canalso use AI chat bots that are
trained on texts and emails.
Okay, this one is a little outof the box, but I think you'll
see this is kind of where we'regoing. And you know, technology
for all of its challenges andall of the frustrating parts of
it, there are some reallybeautiful ways that we can use

(36:25):
some of this new, up and comingtechnology to help us with our
grief, to support us and to helpus memorialize our most
cherished loved ones. Some techcompanies are now offering
services where you can upload totheir platform a person's
messages, whether it's like textmessages, email messages, social

(36:48):
media posts, and createessentially a chat bot that
mimics how this person spoke orwrote or responded to things so
where you may have seen or heardof it is they do it where it's
kind of like a dating or afriend chat bot, and it becomes
like your friend, and you talkto it, and it talks to you, and

(37:08):
it gives you advice, and it'slike your friend. Some people
are using them as more of like adating type companion. Well,
this is very similar to thatidea, but it's based on your
loved one things they would say,their comments, their texts,
their messages, if you've gotvoicemails, I'm sure it would
take that video clips, that kindof a thing, so you can train
this bot to have conversationswith you and respond as your

(37:32):
loved one would respond. Now thenext level of this is using
technologies like voice cloningand AI generated audio messages
where the AI is using a clone ofyour loved one's voice to
generate audio messages. Andinstead of like text talking

(37:52):
where you're writing back andforth, it's actually verbally
speaking out loud to you in thevoice of your loved one with
enough audio samples. I don'tthink it can do it from like one
or two voice samples, but if youhad saved like several
voice memos from them, orseveral voicemail messages, or

(38:16):
had videos of them where theywere talking or lives or
different, you know, differentthings that captured voice
samples, old video clips. AI cannow recreate a person's voice.
This technology is being used todo things like create a special
birthday message or graduationmessage, special event message

(38:37):
for a person from their lovedone that's passed it can record
a bedtime story for your kids.
If you know their parent orgrandparent is passed away, it
can offer encouragement afterthey're gone. So if there's like
a pep talk that you would want,you can have that created. Some
people are actually planningthese in advance, meaning giving

(38:59):
an advance recordings orcreating the ability with voice
cloning, like giving lots ofsamples of their voice while
they're still here, whilethey're still verbal, so that
surviving family members cancreate This and an even next
level of that is using AIavatars and sort of like a deep

(39:23):
fake video type of memorial. Soit's kind of like using these
deep fake tools for good, forsomething beautiful. So there
are a few companies. I have afeeling it's going to keep
growing. There'll be more andmore before we know it. But
there are a few companiesalready that create highly
realistic avatars that look andsound like the person who has

(39:45):
crossed over. These avatars, orcharacters can be programmed to
deliver a message or to appearin a short video using kind of
like a deep fake typetechnology, which mimics.
Express their voice, their face,their expressions, the way that
they would express emotionally.

(40:07):
This is one of the most advancedand highly controversial
Memorial options. And as part ofthis, what this is expanding
into is essentially being ableto use these kind of deep fake
memorials in an augmentedreality, or like those QR

(40:30):
headset things, or even having aQR headstone. So there are some
modern cemeteries and companiesthat either can take a QR code,
like the thing we use to get ourmenu at the restaurant, that
thing you scan with your phone,so they can have one of those
for your loved one, like aheadstone, and they can place it

(40:53):
either on an actual, literalheadstone. They can place it on
a tree, on a plaque, on amemorial bench, or marker. And
when someone is coming to paytheir respects or wants to
visit, they scan the QR code andit leads them to your custom
Memorial website where you shareabout your person, those avatars
that I was talking about thatcan make, like the deep fake

(41:16):
video and talk to you. They'restarting to be able to use them
through those AV like thoseheadphone Virtual Reality VR
headphone things, I think I'musing all the wrong initials for
these things. I'm not the mosttechie, as you guys know, so
these augmented realitymemorials can be a part of our
experience. You can point yourphone at a location and see a

(41:42):
photo or a video of the lovedone layered into that space,
like a slideshow or like atribute. There are even virtual
cemeteries and digital worldsthat have Memorial places. There
are entire websites built asvirtual cemeteries, and you can

(42:03):
create a memorial virtual plot.
You can design the space, youcan upload photos and memories.
You can invite others to visitand leave messages using their
virtual reality avatar. So we'regetting very, very Ready Player
One, for those of you thatremember that game where we can
be going to someone's cemeteryto to honor them in a virtual

(42:25):
setting where we all put onthose glasses and and head to a
cemetery without leaving ourhouse to memorialize someone
together. Some of these are saidto mimic peaceful gardens and
paths, and some of them are morelike social networks, where
people can, kind of spray paintwalls and share however they

(42:49):
want. So very interesting way ofdoing it. Not all digital
morning is high tech, though.
There are some lower tech ways.
So now that that's like the highof the high of the tech side of
of things with the avatars thatwill actually speak to you using
your loved ones voice pattern.
There are some that are simpler,if that is way out there for

(43:10):
you. You can even just keep oldtext threads and voicemails and
revisit them when you need them.
You can save playlists thatbelong to your loved one, or you
can create a playlist that hastheir favorite music on it. You
can light a virtual candleonline, or write an annual
birthday post or even a letterif you're a fairy analog. You

(43:30):
can use things like Pinterestboards or digital album albums
to create a really sacred spaceor sacred ways to remember them.
You can even send a message inan old group chat just to keep
that thread going. I have somepeople that I know that had a
whatsapp thread, like a familychat, and they keep that going

(43:52):
even without their one of theirloved ones in it because they
didn't want to start a new chat.
These might seem small, butthey're really personal, and
they hold space for someone,even when they can't hold it
physically. We're continuing tohold this space in our lives for
them, and in a way, the Internethas become our modern altar, if

(44:15):
you will, a place where memorieslinger and presence echoes and
things move very quickly, but wecontinue to share, and it raises
so many questions as part ofthis too, what kind of legacy
are we each leaving, and how dowe want to be remembered? And
what does presence mean now, inthis digital world, it seems

(44:35):
like it's going to go wellbeyond our actual physical
presence. So there's so much tothink about. The next of these
seven unique ways of creativelymemorializing your loved ones is
this idea of turning ashes intoart, sound and sky, transforming
your grief through creativity.
For those lucky enough to haveashes. Of your loved ones. You

(44:59):
can do these or you so you coulduse ashes if you have ashes, but
you could also use ashes oftheir personal items, like their
shirts or papers. You couldsafely fire safety. You could
safely burn their papers or someof their items to have ashes if

(45:20):
you don't have cremate ashes, oryou feel like that's creepy and
too far for you and don't wantto do it. But I think these
ideas are actually reallybeautiful. I'm so curious what
you guys are going to think ofthese, this sixth idea, or way
of memorializing,as I think we could all agree
on, not everyone wants theirmemorial to feel somber or

(45:40):
depressing. Some people want tobe remembered in vivid, lively,
unexpected ways, and more andmore people are choosing to turn
their ashes into somethingcreative, like we were talking
about with the different typesof jewelry and different things
you can do that way, withtattoos, different, creative,
expressive, even celebratoryways that people are wanting to

(46:05):
use their ashes to beremembered. These memorials
aren't about being quiet andsomber in the shadows. They are
about that spark movement,meaning doing something bigger.
Have you ever heard of someoneusing their ashes and turning
them into fireworks? That'sright, this is real. Some

(46:27):
companies will take a portionsof your a portion of your loved
ones cremated remains, and mixthem into custom fireworks. Yes,
families can choose the colors,and you can even choreograph the
display of fireworks to music,just like I keep thinking of
Disney, just like a theme parkhas the colored fireworks and

(46:48):
there's a music and a lightshow. You too can have this with
your loved ones ashes includedas part of the fireworks. How
interesting is that it becomes asend off in the sky, an
explosive tribute, bursting withlight and emotion. For some
families, especially aftersudden loss or someone

(47:11):
particularly young that'scrossed over, this can feel like
a really fitting way to honor alife lived brightly, even if it
was brief. Another thing thatpeople are doing with ashes is
pressing them into vinylrecords. How interesting is this
creative option? You can haveyour ass, yours or someone

(47:33):
else's. You can have your ashespressed into a vinyl record. You
can choose the music. You canchoose spoken messages, like a
recording of you reading orspeaking. You can even
personalize recording to beetched into the grooves of the
record. For those of us that areold enough to have had a record

(47:54):
player or a family that had one,you know those grooves that are
on that plastic disc. The vinylrecord has the music inside of
it, so they will put on therewhatever you want. And the ashes
are also infused into the vinyl,and then it's pressed into
whatever the pattern is going tobe for the music. So every time

(48:16):
you play it, you're hearing apiece of their story with their
presence literally embedded inthe sound, because their ashes
are literally embedded in thevinyl. It is part nostalgic and
part ritual, and for musiclovers, it can be incredibly
powerful. Another option here isashes blown into glass or

(48:39):
sculptures. Artists around theworld are now creating custom
glass pieces that incorporatethe cremated ashes into molten
material that molten glass.
Those of us that are old enoughto have enjoyed Mr. Rogers,
there were lots of things on PBSwhen I was a kid showing how

(49:00):
glass is blown. So in that hot,molten liquid, they mix some of
the cremated ashes inside, andit's incorporated in and as a
result, when they blow or createthe glass shapes or sculptures,
it the ashes look like beautifulocean orbs. They can make it

(49:21):
into paper weights or holidayornaments. They can even make it
look like swirls of galaxies byincluding other like glitter or
other material. They can make itinto a vase or candle holder.
They can even make them intocrystal pendants or anything
that you can make, artist glassinto, you can make it into. Some

(49:45):
artists even make beautifulabstract sculptures, if you've
ever seen like beautifulabstract glass sculptures or
other shapes. Others are shapingthe glass into like hearts or
birds or flowers. But whatmatters most is the. Intention,
taking something that was leftbehind of our loved one and
turning it into somethingbeautiful that we can hang on

(50:07):
to. Some people are also doinghow we talked about the the ink
used for tattoos being infusedwith the ashes. Some people are
using ash infused paint or inkfor artist projects, like not
necessarily tattoo projects, butin some cases, people are using
loved ones ashes to mix custompaint or ink and then creating

(50:28):
painting, journaling art,calligraphy pieces, pen and ink
pieces. It's rarely public art.
This is intimate, usually, youknow, kept private and for the
family alone, but it's somethingthat lives on in our homes or in
our most intimate spaces that isgifted quietly within the
family. And again, you couldcreate these with if you didn't

(50:50):
have the cremated remains of theperson, you could use other
ashes, something of theirs, ifyou wanted, or even just to
create it significantly forthem. You could create a super
simple version of this as a likea photo collage with just photos
of them that represent your ownpersonal memories with that
person. Or, like a shadow boxwhere the glass is raised out,

(51:10):
putting little specialremembrances, mementos, items,
ticket stubs, whatever you haveto create, like a memory shadow
box for that person, if youdon't have the cremated ashes,
each of these options is abouttransformation, not just
preserving the memory, butgiving it movement, color, form,
life in a different way, takinggrief out of the shadows and

(51:32):
into our emotional, artisticexpression. It's a reminder that
love can be loud and remembrancecan be a dance, and even the
heaviest goodbyes can carrysparks of light. This last
seventh idea that I want toshare with you is a really wild

(51:53):
one for creative and unique waysthat people are remembering
their loved ones now in presentday, this is ocean and space
memorials returning ourselves tothe elements. Some goodbyes feel
just too big for a casket, toocosmic for just a simple
gravestone, for those who feeldrawn to the elements or to the

(52:15):
ocean, to the stars, to theinfinite, there are memorials
that reach beyond Earth intosomething much larger. These are
just creative. They're symbolic.
They're a way of saying thisperson's spirit couldn't be
contained, and neither willtheir memory be just what am I

(52:36):
talking about? Just for fun,also, these are really luxury
items, luxury memorials. So Iincluded the price ranges just
for funsies on this one, becausethese ones, like I said, are
quite literally out there. Sothe first one is reef ball
memorials. You heard that rightreef, as in coral reef under the

(52:58):
ocean ball, like an actual roundball. These run 2500 to 10,000
ish US dollars in us, coastalwaters. They are done not
everywhere in us, coastalwaters, just a few places, and
especially in Florida, one ofthe most beautiful and

(53:21):
environmentally consciousoptions is turning ashes into
reef balls. These are speciallydesigned concrete structures
that are placed on the oceanfloor to create new habitats for
marine life. So if you've everwatched any type of discovery,
Nat Geo channel, and you arewatching them restore the coral

(53:44):
reefs, and how they put, youknow, big chunks of cement so
that Earth life can rebuild onthere. It's like that, only in
that concrete is infused theloved ones, cremains or ashes.
So it's mixed in there. Thecremated remains are mixed in
there, into the reef structure,and then that is submerged into

(54:05):
protected marine sanctuarywaters, and reefs grow over
time. Coral attaches itself,fish gathers. It's a whole
living ecosystem, and it beginsto thrive because of and around
the memorial, some familieschoose to hold a boatside
ceremony during the placement,like when they're putting that

(54:25):
cement piece down. Others returnlater, some snorkel or dive to
visit the wreath. It's not justa legacy. It is a gift to the
planet. Okay? Space burials andcelestial ash scatterings. You
might have heard of scatteringsomeone's ashes at the park or
in the mountains? No, no. Thisis scattering them in space.

(54:46):
This will run yet 2500 to 15,000US, and for those who want to
look up instead of down,there's the sky space. Burials
involve launching a smallcapsule. Maintaining a portion
of cremated remains into orbit.
The capsule may remain inEarth's atmosphere temporarily.

(55:07):
It might burn up like a shootingstar or even be sent into deeper
space, depending on the chosenservice. It's not science
fiction. This is very real, andfor many, the idea of becoming
Stardust again, of literallyreturning to the cosmos, feels
like a poetic closing of theircircle. Some families pair this

(55:29):
with nighttime viewings ortelescope vigils. Others simply
find comfort in looking up,knowing that a part of their
person now rides the stars.
There's also something calledSky scatterings and balloon
releases with caution. This ison the lower end. So this is
about 500 to about 4000 USdollars. There are also aerial

(55:51):
scatterings, which ashes arereleased from planes or hot air
balloons. So think of like alittle plane, or like a literal
Wizard of Oz hot air balloonover mountains or oceans or
scattered through landscapes,and although balloon releases,
like letting go of your own,mylar balloons, like you would

(56:11):
get at the grocery store or thedollar store, those are really
out. We're not allowed to dothose anymore due to
environmental concerns. Itreally messes with airplanes and
helicopters. It can hurt thebirds and things that fly. It is
littering. It's reallydangerous. These sky scatterings
by aircraft are still offeredand can be deeply symbolic,

(56:33):
especially when located nearsomething that had meaning for
the person that passed. If youfeel like the celestial ones are
really interesting, but youdon't feel like that is in your
budget. You can also go onlineand name a star after a person.
They can be a crossed overperson, or they could be a

(56:56):
living person. You could pickyourself. You can name a star
after yourself right now oncertain websites. So and that is
much lower cost. I want to sayit's like at most a couple $100
US. So that is also an option ifscattering your ashes in the
celestial ethers is feeling alittle out there. Wah, wah. So

(57:16):
those are some of these otheroptions. These elemental
memorials speak to somethingkind of ancient in us, a desire
to let go with intention, tohonor the mystery, the majesty
and the vastness of where wecame from and where we'll
ultimately return to, whetherit's a coral reef or cosmic dust

(57:38):
for you, the message is thesame, you're not gone. They've
just become part of somethinggreater. It's really all in all
of the seven of these creativeways that people are moralizing
their loved ones in present day,it's really all about creating a
soulful, unique send off foryour loved one the ways we

(57:59):
remember are as varied as thepeople we love. Some are very
private and some are verypublic. Some are stitched, some
are launched into orbit, andwhile not every option we
explore today will resonate witheveryone, I hope this episode
opened your heart to theincredible range of what's
possible when it comes tohonoring a life and navigating

(58:21):
loss, because mourning isn'tjust about grief. It's about
continuing the connection,continuing the love that we
share, just in a different way.
It's about creating somethingmeaningful, personal, true to
them and true to you, maybe eventrue to the relationship you

(58:42):
shared. So whether you findcomfort in a soft, squishy
Memorial bear made of your lovedone's favorite t shirt or a
whispered voicemail played fromtime to time, or a tree made
with their cremains rooted intheir name, know that the ritual

(59:02):
of remembrance is powerfulmedicine for us as human beings.
It transforms loss into legacy,and maybe most importantly, it
reminds us that love, whenhonored with intention, never
really disappears. It simplychanges form until next time.
Beautiful soul, thank you forlistening. Thank you for being

(59:25):
here with me this week, and forcarrying the memories of your
loved ones forward in your ownsacred way. Let me know if any
of these have sparkedcuriosities or intentions in
you, or if there are some uniqueMemorial traditions that I
haven't shared yet, that youwant to share with me so I can

(59:45):
spread the word to more people.
You can always email me joy atjoyful medium.com or you can
also email admin at joyfulmedium.com if you've got a story
to share, I'm still collectingsign stories if you want to
share. One of those, you can dothat as well. I hope you are
finding really special ways tohonor yourself and to create new

(01:00:07):
memories as you go through therest of your summer. Big hugs.
Lots of love. Bye for now. Frominside spirit speakeasy, you

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