Mini Reading and Powerful Signs from a Son in Spirit with Helping Parents Heal’s Amy Sanders

If you have lost a child, or love someone who has, this tender conversation is for you. In this episode of Spirit Speakeasy, you’ll sit in on a mini evidential mediumship reading for Amy Sanders, San Diego chapter leader of Helping Parents Heal, and hear the powerful story of her son Brandon—and the many ways he continues to make his love and presence known from the spirit world

Brandon crossed at 28 after accidentally ingesting fentanyl, yet from the very beginning he sent Amy undeniable signs that he was still with her. Those signs, along with community and spiritual tools, helped carry her through some of the darkest days of grief and into a new sense of purpose supporting other parents.

In this episode, you will hear about:

• What an evidential mediumship reading looks and feels like for a grieving parent
• How Brandon’s journey with addiction, recovery, and service continues from the other side
• Amy’s amazing and undeniable signs from Brandon (including personal stories that’ll knock your socks off!)
• Practical ways to notice and trust signs from your own loved ones
• Amy’s gentle suggestions for moving through intense grief and finding purpose
• You’ll walk away with a full heart ❤️

🌟We also talk about Helping Parents Heal, an incredible international organization dedicated to supporting parents whose children have passed, and the safe, spiritually open space it offers for each member’s unique healing journey.

🔗 Resources mentioned:
Helping Parents Heal: HelpingParentsHeal.org

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Episode Transcript

Unknown (00:01):
Joy. Hey, beautiful soul, welcome to spirit. Speak
Easy. I'm Joy Giovanni, joyfulmedium. I'm a working psychic
medium, energy healer andspiritual gifts mentor. This
podcast is like a seat at thetable in a secret club, but with
mediums, mystics and thespiritual luminaries of our
time. So come behind the velvetropes with me and see inside my

(00:24):
world as I chat insider stylewith profoundly gifted souls, we
go deep, share juicy stories,laugh a lot, and it wouldn't be
a speakeasy without greatinsider secrets and tips. You
might even learn that you havesome gifts of your own so step
inside the spirit speakeasy.
Hey, beautiful soul, welcome infor another episode of spirit

(00:46):
speakeasy. Today, I havesomething very special for you.
I'm gonna do a mini mediumshipreading, and then we are gonna
hear from the person I'm readingfor her name is Amy. She is the
chapter leader for the San Diegochapter of a group called
helping parents heal, which is aparents bereavement
organization. I'm going to readyou Amy's bio. I'm recording

(01:07):
this intro and outro A few dayslater because I didn't have
Amy's bio. I talk about it inthe episode. Most people don't
know this, but a couple times ayear, I am grateful and lucky to
get to do group readings for thehelping parents heal
organization to help themconnect with their kids who've
crossed over to the spiritworld. And I don't like to know
anything about any of theparents before going in, so I

(01:31):
haven't heard Amy's full story.
So she was willing, and Ithought it would be a beautiful
experience for her to have amini reading and for her to
share her story with us. So I'mgoing to read her bio now and
then once we start the episode,in just a couple minutes, I dive
right in with the reading. Sothis is Amy's description of

(01:53):
what happened. She says that daychanged her life forever, march
21 2020 when her beautiful son,Brandon, 28 crossed over to the
other side after accidentallyand fatally ingesting fentanyl,
the signs from him from acrossthe veil were immediate and
strong. She felt strangelyblessed at the most terrible

(02:15):
time of her life with theintense pain denial and guilt
that overtakes every parent inthis situation, she found
herself searching for theanswers to the sometimes
unanswerable questions that faceus all, no matter the
circumstances. From that day,she's been on a growth journey,
immersed in all thingsspiritual, which has included

(02:35):
many resources that she's foundthrough helping parents heal.
And from day one, her son hasbeen with her and her family and
close friends, showing up in somany undeniable and remarkable
ways that she feels compelled tohelp others find their way as
well. We all move through thisat our own pace, she says, in
our own way. And it can be workthat requires dedication, but

(02:58):
the reward is a beautifulconnection with their kiddos. So
I'm so excited to have Amy andof course, helping parents heal
is an incredible organizationthat she will share about, and I
will link it in the show notes.
If you have lost a kiddo of anyage, any stage, any time ago and
in any method, helping parentsheal is an incredible

(03:18):
organization that also hasresources. So even if you didn't
want to attend meetings, thereare plenty of resources for you
to have. And I'll link therehelping parents heal.org and the
website in the show notes, soyou can find that and you can
also share it with someone thatyou know that could potentially
use this resource. So withoutfurther ado, let me show you

(03:39):
this mini reading and introduceyou to Amy Sanders from helping
parents heal essentially. First,I will start by just telling you
a little bit about how I read,and we'll see if we can do just
a little mini reading. And thenI'll chat to you. You sort of
know how I work already. Youknow that I the style of

(04:02):
mediumship I practice is calledevidential, which means that's
my intention for your loved onesto share specific details about
themselves so you can recognizethem. You know that they'll
choose however they want toshare. Some will share
personalities. Some will helpwith details memories from their
life. Some will talk aboutthings going on in your life,
really, all I need from yourside in the reading segment here

(04:23):
is just to say yes, no, or Idon't know, as I give you the
details, you know, don't feelstuck in a box. You could speak
to me, but try not to finish thestories for me, really, is all
it is. I'm so excited to haveyou here. Now. I have met you a
couple times before, so I havemet your wonderful son on the
other side before. So I'll tryto be honest about what I

(04:45):
already know versus what's newinfo. I mean, you'll know what I
already know just from havingmet you in a group reading
before. You feel okay about allthat, sure, okay. Let me just
kind of move my awareness and wewill see where we. Are going to
go now I know that your son'sname is Brandon. I feel like,
does he have a really strongsense of humor as part of his
personality? Because you and Ihave been having a little tech

(05:07):
glitches as we're getting onhere, and I can feel this
emotion of him like laughing andteasing you and giving you a
hard time. You understand thatpart about his personality is he
sometimes, in his past, someonethat helps you with the tech
side of things, and is likeworking on tech things for you
occasionally, or setting upspeaker systems or something
like that, a little bit, becauseit just feels like he's joking

(05:29):
with you about still learningtechnology and all of that,
which I think we're all stilllearning technology now. I know
we've talked about Brandon'spassing before. I know it's
traumatic and tragic in the waythat it happens, but I want to
say this piece that I don'tknow. I do already know that he
has a substance challenge aspart of his life story, but I

(05:50):
know he reaches this place wherehe feels very stable and strong
to me after an addictive period.
Do you understand that partabout him? Yes, because there's
just this feeling of like soproud the family rallies all
together to help him over thisperiod of time. And he's

(06:12):
acknowledging other members ofyour family too, and just
wanting to put so much lovearound how no one ever gave up
on him. Do you know what I mean?
And he's acknowledging thatthere's times when he's actively
in in this addiction, that he'snot the easiest is that, fair to
say, and that he's he's kind ofhurting people's hearts with the
behavior, because we all careabout him so much. Do you know
what I mean? Yes, some. But thenthere's just this sense with him

(06:35):
also, of that he has so manystrong people in his life
surrounding him that reallycheerleaded him and supported
him, and the way he's giving itis like helped him believe in
himself when he couldn't quitesee it. Do you know what I mean?
Yes, you have some sit downtalks with him when he's really

(06:55):
there's this feeling with him oflike, then he decides he's going
to very strongly pursue hisrecovery. Do you know what I
mean? Yes, I feel like we're allstubborn in our own way, but I
want to say he's making a veryclear point on the timeline of
like I decided to believe inmyself, and then everything
changes. Do you know what Imean, yeah, yes. But then in
that little time period wherehe's just starting to get on his

(07:19):
feet and get stronger. Do youhave a couple like pep talks
with him, where you're sittingdown and telling him how amazing
you see him from yourperspective?
Yes, there have been afew times because there's just
this feeling in there of like tosee yourself through his eyes,
and to see his potential throughyour eyes really starts to shift

(07:41):
something in him. Do you knowwhat I mean? And then I know he
goes through his own recoveryjourney. I already know this
about him, and I know he getswhat the way he's showing it to
me now is, like, incrediblystable where, like, he is
speaking to other people aboutrecovery. You know, this piece
of his story? Yes, because hefeels really proud of this, is

(08:05):
this a good like chunk of yearsthat he's feeling strong and and
helping in the world?
Three, three years? Yeah, itfeels
like it's a good, like solidchunk of time for him. And
there's just this feeling of,you know, he's not a prideful
person, I have to say that, butthere's this sense of, like

(08:28):
feeling good about doing goodfor others. Do you know what I
mean? Yes, and he does. He likeI want to say he pretty
regularly. It feels more thanjust like a 12 step meeting
scenario, but I feel like he'spretty regularly speaking in
front of other people andhelping other people. Does that
make sense of the way I'm sayingit,

(08:50):
not necessarily in that way thatI know, let me,
let me just work with it alittle. Is that okay? Sure,
okay, because I know he's goingto his own, like some version of
recovery meeting or counselingor something like that. Is that
true? That had happened? Yeah,for a period of time. And then
there's this feeling of him,like reaching a handout and

(09:12):
helping other people with hisstory and his experience. Does
that make sense? Yes, no, thatdefinitely happened. I just want
to make sure I'm getting itright for him, because, yeah, we
found out he always gonna say,oh, after the fact, okay, that's
fine, because that's the otherthing is, he's he has this
humble side of him. Do you knowwhat I mean, that he like, I

(09:33):
feel like this is him his wholelife. Though, from the time he's
a kid, it's like you're hearingfrom teachers about, like, oh
no. He's very good at helping.
He's very well behaved, but he'snot like coming home and telling
you what a good job he does as akid. So I'm not entirely
surprised that we're finding outafter the fact so much help that
he gave to others, just becauseit's not something that he would
highlight as like, Hey, payattention to me. I'm doing good.

(09:55):
Do you know what I mean? Right?
He has this very hum. Heart withhim, I have to say, does he have
a faith in a higher powerhimself? He did because there's
just this feeling with him offeeling his own, like personal,
spiritual connection in someway. Can you understand that?
Yes, even that feels veryprivate to me. Though, do you

(10:17):
know what I mean? Like, I don'tthink he's announcing it to the
whole public I feel like it'shis own private relationship,
his own private study of hisfaith. Is that fair? That is
fair. And there's just thisfeeling with him of wanting to
acknowledge without we won't gotoo much into it, but you have a
faith yourself.

(10:38):
Yes, we, I mean, we spoke a lotabout what we thought it all was
okay,because there's just this sense
with him, wanting to acknowledgethat you know, even in these
years, that he's been gone, thatyou are pursuing your faith
still, and it's it's changed,maybe, but there's a deepening
there for you. I know we talkedabout that. We're going to talk
about signs. I don't know whatyour signs are, but let's see if
he's going to give us some.

(11:01):
Because I feel like this, whatI'm starting what I'm starting
to see. The other thing is, hekeeps showing me these beautiful
rainbows as like this feeling ofpeace and everything's gonna be
okay. I don't know if that's oneof the things that you already
are aware that he's sending you,but I have to tell you, it is
one of the things he's sending.
Don't mean to tell you, justgive me a
yes or no on that one, yes,okay, not always, but there's a

(11:24):
specific one. Okay, I'm excitedto hear about that in just a
minute, but there is thisfeeling with him of lots of
little signs kind of sprinkledin throughout your day, and
little hellos from him, andlittle I have the sense that
he's getting his name acrossyour path, and I know that
you're a grandma, which isinsane to think, because you
look like 40 years old, but doyou have someone in the family

(11:46):
that's like a namesake for him,or part of his name is in their
name? Two people? Yes, okay,because he feels very, very
excited about this. And a senseof, I know that you know this,
just because you know a lot ofthis, but he does spend a lot of
time with the kids that are inthe family. He is so good with
kids. You know that about himalready, I'm sure. But there's

(12:06):
this feeling with him, of like,sometimes I feel like I'm better
with kids and animals than I amwith like, step up adults too.
Like, just can be a little morehimself. There's this playful
aspect to his personality too. Ihave to say, Sure, I could feel
him like wanting to, like, throwa ball with kids as an adult. Do
you know what I mean? Andconnect is part of his helping

(12:27):
mission in the world, to helpkids, kind of at an age where
they become a little moresusceptible to addiction.
You mean now on the other side,or before, before, it was more
of people he knew that he helpedkeep them clean kind of

(12:49):
okay, because there's just thisfeeling of him being able to
identify like people that aremore susceptible or more at
risk, and wanting to like, spendtime with them and Take them out
of their, you know, zone wherethey might be alone or feeling
depressed, and get like, timewith them, go pick them up, or
talk to them, or he just is thatkind of friend who's not going

(13:11):
to let someone else slip intothe quicksand. You know what? I
mean, such a weird way of sayingit, but there's just this sense
with him of it's almost likewanting to pay it forward,
because so many people helpedhim when he was in tough spots.
Do you know what I mean? Yes, hehas this really beautiful way of
staying in non judgment, too. Ihave to say he feels like one of

(13:31):
the least judgmental people onearth. He can feel someone's
struggle and know like evendetails about the depth of the
dark places they go, and he canhold this, like, neutral love in
his heart for them. Do you knowwhat I mean? Yeah, really, it's
a really special part of him foras, like, masculine and guy's

(13:54):
guy that I always feel him, hehas this really sensitive side
of him that I wasn't aware of.
Yes, definitely. And one of thebeautiful things I know about
Brandon is that, as his mom, Iknow he tells you he loves you
and he wants to, like, give youa hug and be sweet with you. I
don't think he's over the topwith it, but there's a sense of
like, you know, that this youngman loves you, yes. What a

(14:15):
special guy. Even I know he hasa sibling as well. And even with
his sibling, it's this feelingof like, yeah, we tease each
other, and we like, Give eachother a little bit of a hard
time here and there, but at theend of the day, we know that we
love each other, you know thatpiece of it. And there is just
this feeling with him, of of,Oh, interesting. He's indicating

(14:35):
that as we move towards the endof the year that there are some
things shifting for you thathe's pretty excited about. Are
you kind of reorchestrating yourschedule a little bit, or
something changing for you inyour day to day life?
I'm yeah, I'm working on somethings that's exciting.
This is a strange question, butis there a part of you that's

(14:58):
been thinking about writing?
Some version of his story.

(16:06):
Yeah, I just justsort of have issues getting it
going really, yeah, okay,but you've been thinking about
it. I have, yeah, because it'shim encouraging you. And the
encouragement here is, it's okayto start with the light
memories. It's okay to startwith the tender, more happy
memories, and then go into thedifficult memories in more of

(16:27):
like a boundary time. So maybewe're only going to spend an
hour, you know, writing aboutthe hard things, but then
remembering the light things.
There's this other feeling ofyou and he has writing partners,
so I don't know if you sense himaround you when you're thinking
about this. I think you sensehim around quite a bit, because

(16:47):
you're very sensitive as well,and know how to sense Him. But
there's just this feeling withhim, of like, when you're ready,
there's no rush, but he isencouraging you crazy loud car
outside now, which is I feellike a double confirmation of
him, like, yes, like, and justthis sense of you know, you're
helping him to carry on hismission in the world by sharing

(17:08):
his story and by being so bravebefore this happened, and you
were part of the helping parentsheal group. Were you not
necessarily as much of a publicspeaker or comfortable talking
in front of like groupsof people when I'm when I know
my topic, I'm fairlycomfortable. There's been an
evolution of it, but I'm prettycomfortable. I think it's

(17:31):
this evolution that he's wantingto highlight of just how much
more you've stepped into thefullness of yourself, and he
feels really excited about it,this this writing piece just
feels like a new level of that.
And he's also indicating thatyour perspective, through his
journey, is maybe more importantthan you realize. As a mom,
he's, I mean, I think we knowthis to be true, but he's

(17:53):
indicating that so many parentslook inside and think like, what
did I do, right or wrong? Whatdid I not see? And he's saying
you have so much healing tooffer just from sharing your
story, that there's this feelingof blending his story with
yours. And I almost wonder ifthere's some version of it where
you're telling like, his versionof the story, and then alongside
like, and this is what I wasexperiencing in that period, is

(18:16):
that some whatever you'rethinking about,
it's interesting angle. Yeah,yeah, that is, well, I'm just
gonna offer that to you, becausethat's how I'm receiving it.
But just this feeling with him,of wanting to give you a kiss on
the cheek. And have you beenlooking through photos kind of
recently?
I mean, I my mom, I'm looking athim right now, okay? Because I'm

(18:38):
like, there's just this. I couldfeel him smiling at you, and
it's like he does have this, Iknow he's an adult, young adult
man, but he does have this likeboyish quality to him. Do you
know what I mean? And just thissense with him of I think you
know how much he loves you andhow much appreciation he has for

(18:59):
the way that you can hold him,also in non judgment. Now, I
know in the very last part ofhis time here, it just feels
like there's some morechallenges that rise up for him.
You understand that pieceof it? Yes,
okay, I feel like I think he'scommunicated to you through many

(19:19):
mediums. So I feel like he'sgiven this apology before, but
there's just this sense of sorryfor the way that that part works
out, but so much gratitude thatyou don't, that you're not mad
at him, that you don't have anyjudgment for him, that you have
found in this time, that he'sbeen crossed over a way to he
keeps using the word forgive,even though I'm not sure that

(19:42):
that's quite the right word. Doyou know what I mean?
It's definitely part of thejourney forgiving yourself and
finding some gracefor the whole experience, the
whole experience, yeah,and I think this is part of the
sensitivity of him. It's just hefeels things so deeply, and he
can go to such a tough placewithin himself. Do you know what
I mean? And as someone who, as Imentioned, is like such a good

(20:05):
friend and so helpful of others,I know that one of his
challenges is he's not the bestat reaching out for help. Do you
know what I mean, right? And hejust has some apologies around
that, because he's indicatingthat like, No, I have the most
supportive family that wouldcome anywhere at any time to
help me with anything, but he'swanting to take the

(20:26):
responsibility for that piece ofit, and I just keep feeling him
wanting to give you a big kisson the cheek. Do we have a Do we
have a birthday just around thecorner for someone in
your family, the more extendedfamily? Yes,
okay, he's just so excited aboutthis, and wanting you to know,
have we been, have we been kindof trying to plan a little bit

(20:48):
of, like a celebration, or gettogether or something,
it's on Thanksgiving,okay? He feels very excited
about it. And there's just thisfeeling of, you know, he's come
to forgiveness with a lot. Ofelements in his life too, and
just feels very happy that wecan all come together as a
family, no matter what we'vegone through together, that we
are finding a way tohe's using the word reunify. Can

(21:11):
you understand that?
But he also puts you as like theheart of the family, and it's
through your leadership and yourgrace that you can find for
people that you show everyoneelse. The way to do this is what
he's saying. And I'm notentirely sure who this person
is, but the way he's giving itis like, Mom, I'm so proud of

(21:34):
you.
So it's, yeah, it's a it was achallenging relationship at one
point, and I, you know, tried todo my own work. Yeah, it was all
entangled with him too. It's awhole story. But yeah, so it's
interesting that that that cameup.

(21:55):
Yeah, that is interesting. Andthere's just a feeling of, like
him giving you a pat on the backand saying, like he's just so
proud of who you've always beenand and who you continue to
become so well. Thank you forthank you letting me spend a
little time with him. I justthink he is amazing.
I do. I do too. I'msure, I'm sure you do. He just
always feels so so lovingand sweet and such a mom's boy.

(22:22):
Basically, yes.
Now I know we talked aboutsharing that I met you through a
wonderful organization calledhelping parents heal. I part of
the work that I do with thegroup is I come occasionally and
do group readings for the group,but I I make sure that I don't
stay for the part where peopleshare their stories, because I

(22:44):
don't want my information to becolored. So that's kind of why I
wanted to do a little readingfor you before you shared your
story, because I don't know yourstory true. I would love it if
you would share a little bitabout that with us,
sure. Well, um, so Brandon was28 when he passed, and he had

(23:05):
had a history with addiction,but he was very high level, and
so he never missed a day at workor school or anything like that,
you know. And it was, it came inthese three year increments. It
was three years. And then threeyears, okay? And so when covid

(23:28):
came, you know, we werepreparing for covid shut down
and not a hula blah over that.
And he got his computer to bringhome from work, and he, I think
he just got something tocelebrate. You know, get to work
at home, yeah, and it was afentanyl pill. They call it a

(23:49):
hot pill, and it killed him.
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Sosomething that he didn't know
that. That's what he did, andthat's what
he thought. I'm sure he thoughtit was something else.
I know it had to be so, youknow, yeah, and so that
happened, and of course, it wascovid shutdown weekend and so

(24:11):
sort of a surreal experience,because the whole world shut
down with us at the same time.
You know, our lives sort of cameto a halt, and so did everyone
else's. So yeah, it was uniquein that that everyone just
didn't run off to work the nextday like I had probably more
support that way, strangely andpretty immediately we had had,

(24:34):
you know, readings for fun inthe past, you know. And pretty
immediately, his, his girlfriendat the time, had had one, okay,
she was struggling. Andactually, I think, with your
former partner, oh yeah, Kelly,yeah. And so Kelly, and so we
all said, Oh, we're doing it.

(24:57):
We're all doing it. You know,she told us about it, so we all
did it, and I did it. And, youknow, he came through, and
flying colors and lots ofvalidations. And, you know, we
were already getting tons ofsigns, and, you know, we were
all on board for the whole, thewhole thing. And that just began
in my whole spiritual, deep diveinto, you know, all things woo,

(25:17):
woo and, and, I mean, it's, it'sjust been, there's been so much
evidence. It's been, you know,that Brandon has shown me that
there is something else. And so,yeah, so I've just done this
whole thing, and I've had somereadings here and there, and
eventually, and Kelly actuallytold me about helping parents

(25:38):
heal, because some of the otherparents she read were there. So
I joined. And then eventuallythey had in person meetings, and
went to those, and that's whereI met you Yes, and you guys
would do the group reading,group readings. And then
eventually the leader, she justneeded to move on, and I took
over, and I've been doing it fora few years now. And I. You

(26:01):
know, we have parents that comeand we talk about our kids. We
do different activities. Wemight have a sound bath, we
might have a medium. We might doart. We might just talk about
our kids to do different things.
We meet once a month in person,such
an incredible group. And I knowyou are the leader of the San
Diego chapter, but there arechapters all over,

(26:22):
yes, as well, right? It's aninternational group that's
amazing. And whoever they canharangue into opening a group in
variety of cities. You know, we,for a long time, we didn't have
an Orange County. We have onethere now. Oh, wow, there's a
couple in LA. So people comefrom all over the county, North
County, to our meetings, and wehave them in different people's

(26:44):
homes. And you know, some peopleare ambivalent coming, they're
afraid of they're going to cry,they, you know, which is
natural, and you know, we'rejust here to support them and
hear their story andunderstanding, because you just
don't, you can't understand itunless it's happened to you. And

(27:05):
of course, we wouldn't wantanyone to understand it who had
who hasn't lost a child, becauseyou know when, before it
happens. It's the thing that youknow you're like, No, no, right?
If it enters your head, you pushit back out, yeah. And you know,
that's the same feeling as youknow, what it'd be like to lose
another child like because thereare those people that lost all

(27:25):
or they're only, you know,right? So there's all these
scenarios, and you know,different ways that kids go in
different ages, but yeah, theydefinitely can find some
camaraderie. I don't know whatthe word is. That's a really
good point, because sometimespeople think, Oh, it's just if

(27:48):
I've lost a kid that's this age,or just if they pass this way,
but it's any person that's losta child of any age, right? Yeah.
And actually, so helpingperetila, as I said, is an
international group, andElizabeth and Irene are the kind
of the heads of it right now.
And there's a core group ofpeople that you know started it
and are still active and run it,and their board of directors and

(28:11):
all that. I think there's like30,000 members now that have
joined it. When I first joined,I think there were, there was
under 20, maybe even 15, I can'tremember, but so it's quite
large, and like I said, it's allover the world, and they have,
they'll have zoom meetings withdifferent mediums, or grief
experts, or, you know, a varietyof spiritual aspects and healing

(28:38):
on there sounds like it's justwhat it says helping parents
heal. And healing is lots ofthings and lots of right?
It's a lot of differentmodalities. And you know, you
the parents have to be open tothe spirituality, but you know,
most people are, you know, theywant to have contact with their
kids, but well,and it's everyone in the in the

(28:58):
group that I've come to, whichis your group? I feel like there
are people from all walks oflife and all different
backgrounds and ages with alldifferent kinds of kids on the
other side, and it's such a safespace. Is, I think, the best way
to sayit? Yeah, definitely. So they
Yeah, it's really been a goodexperience for me, and I like

(29:19):
that I can pay it forward alittle bit and help people as
much as I can. And so, yeah, sothey people figure out that we
have it in San Diego, andthey'll, they'll contact me and
I'll invite them.
So what's the best way forsomeone to look into the group,
if they're feeling curious aboutjoining, if they've lost a

(29:39):
kiddo?
Well, they can go to helpingparents heal.org which is their
actual website, and it has allkinds of resources on there,
including my contactinformation. Then we also have
our main way of communicating isthrough Facebook. So there's a
main page, and then eachaffiliate group, and each you

(30:03):
know, variety of areas has theirown Facebook page. And then, in
addition, there are subgroupsfor you know, if your child was
an addict, or if it's all oronly children, like there's
every variety and all disabledkids, every every variety of you
know, needs specific subgroup,specific subgroups, so you can

(30:26):
join those two and then be inthose meetings and and it's all
on Zoom for the main group, youknow, we meet in person, but
that's all on Zoom. So it's veryaccessible,
and that's so cool that, youknow, because it is a different
path to walk, right? It's I hadone parent tell me that it's the
club that no one ever hopes tobe a member of, but thankful

(30:47):
that it's there. Sothat's that pretty much, is it
in a nutshell?
Well, I'll make sure to link thehelping parents heal main page,
and I'm sure all the Facebookstuff is you can get it through
their website as well. Put thatin the show notes. Science. Will
you share a little bit about Iknow you mentioned you started
getting signs from Brandon rightaway. I find that this is often

(31:07):
difficult for people whenthey've just lost someone to
like, recognize the signs orallow themselves to accept that
something's a sign. Will youtalk a little bit about your
experience?
Yeah, well, you know, as afamily, we all sort of started
getting things and sharing themin a group text. And I found
that to be pretty encouraging,because if you didn't get one,

(31:28):
then someone else did, then, youknow, you could piggyback off of
that and take it too. But Imean, he just came in strong
from the beginning. I mean, itwas just one thing after
another, you know, initially,just the night it happened, you
know, dimes at the hospitalfound in just these random
spots. And thendid you first think, like, Oh,
that's weird. And then you werelike, Okay, this is too many.

(31:50):
Or, how did that clickin? And it was just, well, those
that family member that foundit, dimes were a thing for them.
Okay, you know, darn, you kindof recognized it that way, dimes
and pennies and things likethat. I didn't, you know, we had
a shooting star incident, whichwas very special and and then I
had a visitation dream that wasthe most, and really one of the

(32:14):
most intense experiences I'vehad before. And so I could tell
you briefly he was I would loveit if
you're comfortable sharing aboutthat. Because I think a lot of
people get confused about, youknow, sometimes when we lose
someone, particularly someonethat's we love so much, we can
have those anxious dreams whereour mind like we're searching

(32:35):
for them or and sometimes peopleget worried like, Oh, is that
real? Versus like a visitationdream, which is a totally
different experience. So I wouldlove it if you're comfortable
it, if you're comfortablesharing about that. Yeah. So he
was about five years old in thedream, which he cut, he
initially came through withmediums as as a young boy. And
they say that a great age ofkiddos too. Yeah, they come

(32:55):
through when younger, happieryears, right? And anyhow, so
there he is in the dream. Igotten up to use the restroom
and went back to bed because,you know, it's the first week,
and it hasn't even sunk in yoursubconscious yet, right? And you
wake up, and then you remember,it's like the worst breakup of
your life, essentially, youknow. And so I took an aspirin,

(33:17):
went back to bed and laid there.
And there he was five years old.
And I think I was taken to myversion, sort of of heaven where
he might be. It was a lakefront.
I love lakes. There was thislittle small, maybe a RFD town

(33:39):
on the waterfront. No peoplejust us, and we were on this
little pier, and it was dusk, myfavorite time of day, and so,
yeah, and so I said, Oh, it'stime, you know, to go home for
dinner. I picked him up, and Iheld him on my front and started
walking. And I said, I love youso much. You're such a good boy.

(34:04):
And I was, I was met with themost intense I
was almost like stunned withbliss.
It's really indescribable, thefeeling I had, it was like the
piece that passes allunderstanding that they talk
about, like people having ndease, like I felt like that was
a real gift to me. And I don'tknow that all visitation dreams

(34:28):
are like that. I've had otherdreams with him in it, where he
pops in, and it's not like that.
But then this dream that thatday, it was like and I've just
felt, and I just, I was just soamazed by it, and I was just
enjoying it. And then I felt aphysical hand on my head in my
bed, wow. And I thought, oh mygoodness, you know, is that you

(34:48):
Brandon? And it pulled me out ofthe dream. But I didn't open my
eyes. I was in that kind of atwilight. And then I just said,
thank you. And I went back tosleep. And then I got up that
day, I was I was okay, and sothat was pretty cool, you know.
And then they're just, I mean,every variety of sign you can
imagine, you know, people getbutterflies and feathers and

(35:11):
stuff, and I did get a little ofthat, but, I mean, I got a lot
of, like, physical, physicalthings happen that you couldn't
explain. And you know, it'sgreat that you're just allowing
yourself to accept the sciencetoo. Because I feel like
sometimes that's the stickingpoint is it's almost too painful
to accept them. Sometimes I lovethe way you describe that

(35:34):
overwhelming feeling of bliss orpeace, or all the things mixed
together, divine love, I guessis what it is, because I'm
always complaining about how thelanguage isn't quite right for
any of these mysticalexperiences. It is beyond words.
Yeah, it really, it really is.
It really is. And so he just hascontinued to show me like
through music, through, youknow, things going missing and

(35:57):
coming back, and. And that'sfunny, yeah, and so I don't know
if you want me to share my oneof my really big stories, but
yeah,I would love that. And then I
want to hear the rainbow storytoo, if you're comfortable
sharing that one.
Oh well, the rainbow was justthe other day. Oh my gosh. We
went to my daughter and I and myfiance and his family. We all

(36:19):
went to see the midway on therainy day on Saturday, and when
we got back out, there was agiant double rainbow. And oh my
gosh, yeah, recent one. That wasjust a few days ago. And
honestly, I mean, rainbows arereally not like a thing for us,
necessarily, but that, that wasthat day, and I took picture my
daughter and her children. Wow.
Yeah, beautiful, yeah. So, um,so, you know, we were getting

(36:45):
songs, special songs. Come onthe read like, I mean, I mean,
there's so much, and it was soconstant that I felt really
blessed. I've, I've been reallyblessed with the signs. And I
feel like the people that aren'tsure about it, my recommend that
they write them down, yeah, juststart writing them down every
time it happens, and prettysoon, sign right. Like, even if

(37:06):
you're not sure, even if you'renot sure, write it down, because
you might start seeing apattern. You might, you know,
you might get a preponderance ofevidence at some point where
you're like, Okay, I'm gonnabelieve it. Yeah, yeah. I mean,
I wanted to believe it,obviously, but I also did my own
sort of Skeptic sleuthing. Ifeel like I know you well enough

(37:26):
to know that you're veryintelligent, yeah, just, you're
not just gonna believe anything,yeah. And then sometimes things
are just so, you know, it hitsyou over the head that you just
have to believe it, but, but,you know, I was, I was open for
the beginning, and just like ina reading, you know, if you get
validations and then you get amessage, I tell people, you
can't cherry pick, like, right?

(37:49):
You can't, you can't say, youknow, it's your kid, but then
not accept that it's that theytold you, it's their time and
it's not your fault, becausethose are such a big part of
acceptance, right? And they'retrying to help you, you know,
from the other side, to get tothat point. And, you know, we're
like, no, no, it's my fault. I'mgonna blame myself. It's it's

(38:09):
me, it's me. I did it, you know,yeah, I didn't do this when they
were a child, or I did this whenthey were child, or, you know,
all the stuff that you think youdid when really it was their day
to go, yeah, that's such a nopoint. And so I was just, that's
my whole thing about readings.
Don't cherry pick them, becauseif you believe that your child
and you got the evidence, thenyou need to accept that message

(38:30):
that said that you know thatthey're with you, and that you
know there's nothing you couldhave done to change it. It
is kind of, I mean, such a goodpoint. I'm so glad you brought
that because it is kind of partof the prevalent part of the
precipice of this evidentialmediumship style is the details

(38:51):
that are able to be validated,the factual things that you know
about your person, whether it'syour kiddo or someone else, kind
of then allows you to believethe message, because if these 10
Things are correct, well then wecan allow ourselves to believe
that the message is correct,right? Like, it's a tough some
I've had people from the otherside give very tough love kind

(39:13):
of messages at times. And it canbe really profound if someone's
able to accept it,yeah, I mean, I know, I I also
say not, you know, overdo it onthe readings, but you know, you
know when you're doing it, youknow too much, or if you're
being needy, or whatever, youknow, I got to

(39:35):
episode about that recently,yeah, the need when you feel a
need, not just because you'recurious, like A need. Yeah, I
really need it, you know. Butanyway, yeah, so I, I, you got
to the point where, yeah, I gotto the point where I was okay,
that, if someone else camethrough, if it wasn't Brandon, I
was okay, you know, yeah, and mymom came through, and, you know,

(39:59):
I had kind of a, not thegreatest childhood, you know,
ever. And I thought, Okay, I'mI'll talk to her, you know,
bring it, you know. And really,really healing message. And it's
interesting, because when youread the other day for one of
our members, her mom camethrough, and she got something

(40:21):
kind of similar that was veryhealing for her, and timely,
right? Because it's been enoughtime that she could accept
hearing from her mom. So, yeah,it's, it was very interesting,
but so, yes, I mean, it's awhole conglomeration of, you
know, methods of healing, fromthe readings to the to the, you
know, having the signs and, Imean, it's really been

(40:43):
everything to like a lifelinefor me.
Yeah, I can imagine, well, andit's such a great point that you
bring about, like, if someonedoes attend a group reading,
even if, I think I was sharingthis with you recently, that the
first time I was alreadydeveloping as a medium, before I
ever even knew group readingswas a thing, and as part of the.
Like, six month program I wastaking, the teacher did a giant,

(41:05):
like, 300 person group readingwith another medium. I know it
was crazy. And I was like, Oh, Iand we had to, like, buy
tickets. It wasn't part of whatwe got. So I was like, Oh, I
have to go to this clip to seewhat this is. And they were
talking about a person, orbringing communicating with a
spirit, person that just had somany details similar to a person
I had lost, but enough of it wasdifferent that I was like, well,

(41:26):
this definitely isn't my person,but kind of like how you just
said, the message is similar,some of the details are similar.
So you know that one message canbe for more than one person,
even if it's not your personcommunicating. Sometimes we kind
of can feel a similarity, or,like you said, a similarity in
the what was communicated thatit's like, okay, this a reminder

(41:47):
for me too, or this is a messagefor me too.
So, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, thepiggybacking is, is big, yeah, I
piggybacked, you know, a coupleof people. I'm like, oh Brandon,
okay. Well, you know, happenssometimes, if it's not like your
day to get a communication, Oh,yeah. Then sometimes you might
still they. Might still they. Ido know what you're talking
about. Another kiddo in thatgroup, reading that communicated

(42:09):
brought some similarities tosome things that had occurred in
your family, and you would see areal similarity there, too. So
that was kind of interesting.
Well, yeah, if you don't mind,will you share a little bit how
you said Brandon will bring yousongs, because I often find like
this happens sometimes forpeople, all of spirit people
bring messages and say hellos indifferent ways. But I always try

(42:32):
to explain to people thatsometimes it might be a song you
associate with them, like thesong they loved, or a band they
loved, but sometimes it's songsthat have nothing to do with
like not their favorite, youjust know, it's a hello from
them. So we talk a little bitabout how music comes across
your path from him, yeah? Well,music was very important to him,
yeah, so it made sense that itwould come through that way. So
we would wake up with songs inour head. Oh, I love they.

(42:56):
Would, you know, like, where didthat come from? Right? Yeah,
song in my head today, right?
And so we would share with eachother, you know, and write them
down. And some of them became,you know, sort of anthems also,
you know, he had his favoritemusic, Modest Mouse and Pink

(43:18):
Floyd. And, okay, so those wouldcome up along a lot, like I'd
gone to visit his girlfriend.
And when I was leaving, I didn'tturn on the radio, and I
thought, and I had the thought,you know, I had the thought, oh,
I should turn that on. And itwas flowed on my Modest Mouse,
which is not a song that playson the radio often, and I don't
know what it is, yeah, you'llhave to, I will. I'm gonna look

(43:42):
it up, yeah. So that sort ofbecame our theme song, because
it came up a lot at random timesfor us, you know. And we, I say
random when they're, you know.
And so we knew, we knew that washim. I mean, yeah, I could just

(44:04):
go on all day about the signs,but yeah, the songs were pretty
significant when they still areso like on my 60th birthday a
few years ago, so I'm five and ahalf years into this journey
now, right? Okay, so two yearsago, when I turned 60, I and I
always tell people like, youmight have to go outside for a
sign. You know, you can't justhole up in your house and expect

(44:25):
it. You might have to leave. Andso I'm telling myself that as
I'm in the tub, because I'dalready had kind of my big
birthday celebration, and Ithought it was time to get ready
to go to my daughter's house,and I was gonna bring pizza, and
she had ice all you can eat icecream sundaes. And so I'd gotten

(44:47):
ready, like I said, I'd had abirthday celebration before.
This is just, you know, kind ofa mellow birthday thing. I get
in the car, and the song, Mysweet lord, comes on, which is
one of my all time favoritesongs. And Brandon loved George
Harrison. He used to doimitations of George Harrison

(45:07):
all the time. That's so funny.
Yeah, he was really good atvoices and accent sense of
humor, yeah, oh, yeah. And so Iwas like, okay, you know? And
then I look at the time and it's555, well, we got his his jersey
number was number 55 in highschool, and it comes up all the
time. So that's another thing.

(45:30):
Numbers come up, right? And sothere it was, 555, and I was
like, I'll take it, you know? SoI did a little video, and then I
realized after that that itshowed 60 miles on my odometer.
I had 60 miles left in my gastank. Wow. So happy from
Brandon, right? So I had the 60,I had the 555, and I had the

(45:52):
song. So no bang, bang, right.
That's a sign. So you know, youhave to just notice. You have to
pay attention. You. Have tonotice we have such
a good point. Sometimes you dohave to go outside, whether it's
a sign from a person or theuniverse that you're hoping to
get. And the other thing I lovethat you said is, you know, you
have the thought, oh yeah, Ishould turn on the radio. They

(46:12):
can't control our free will andtake control of us, but they can
kind of give us that nudge of,like, what about the radio?
Yeah. And then it's up to you tosay, like, Oh yeah, okay, I'm
gonna do that, yeah. So that'show you give your kind of
consent or buy in, is like, andyou just got into the car, like,
at just the right time to seethat, 555, and you you know, he
can get your attention to it, tonotice it. That's so cool,

(46:35):
yeah? And so, you know, andthat's usually, you know, on a
birthday or angel dates andthings like that. And so another
thing about readings is I dorecommend people schedule them
on ANGEL dates, or as close tothe as they can, because it is,
especially in the first fewyears, a really hard time. Yeah,
it is. And I think having thatconnection on around the angel

(46:58):
dates a good thing to help themthrough it, but
definitely, at the very least,to be allowing to schedule
something like, if you don'tfeel open to a medium or
something like that, at leastmake sure you have a time with a
friend at their house, or don'tbe on your own right. Like,
yeah,yeah. And, well, the thing about
the angelites, too, is just notto feel too much pressure on

(47:20):
yourself to make it something,yeah, you know, your child knows
that you love them and thatyou're with them, or that
they're you, you know what Imean, yeah, and, and, you know,
just lighting a candle can beenough, just, you know, doing a
meditation for them to connect.

(47:42):
Or, yeah, just thinking, youknow, hello, in your mind, isn't
it?
Yeah? Food. Or, you know, yeah.
I mean,great point. It doesn't have to
be a big, big production. Andperhaps every year is different,
even maybe you feel one way, oneyear in a different way. And
it's such a I'm so glad youbrought this up, because it's
such a good point that like tohonor just how you feel. And you
know, it doesn't have to be theydo know truly how loved they

(48:04):
are. And right? They feel thelove all the time. So it's not
like you're gonna disappointthem if you don't. Yeah, make
production, right? And so andyou know, and just learning to,
like, trust your instincts,like,
just, you know, even if you'renot sure it's like, just say
yeah. That's a sign, yeah, likeI said, and just and write it

(48:26):
down, because the whole thing istrust, right? Like, I've taken
mediumship classes. I understandthe whole concept that you just
at some point, you just have tobelieve that. You believe Yeah.
You just have to let yourselfhave it. You have to know it.
I'm glad you brought this up,because I would love for you to
share a little bit about I howthis has sort of unfolded a
different part of your path andyour own spiritual journey that

(48:48):
maybe was not in your originalplan for things
to Guinea, this isn't myoriginal plan, no.
I mean the spiritual journeypart. I don't know if, yeah,
perhaps, like, you know, yeah,that direction. Well, you know,
like I said, Brandon, I used tohave these conversations about
spirituality, and I always feltlike there was some, like a Venn
diagram where there's, you know,religion, spiritual,

(49:12):
spirituality, like, which,anyways, and then science. I
think that they all overlap in aplace. And maybe not every
aspect agrees, you know, maybereligion doesn't think that
what, you know, this other worldreally has anything to do with
them, and it does. And sciencethe same thing. I think, I

(49:34):
think, and more as more timegoes on, there's more and more
sort of proof of that with, youknow, physics and physics and
all this stuff. They're catchingup. They're figuring it out.
But, you know, so we alwaysthought that and believe that,
and now it's just been more andmore. I've got to the point
where, you know, because of thereadings and the signs have been

(49:54):
so extreme that I know, I don'tjust believe, I know, yeah, and
so, so I really think thatBrandon has been my partner in
this, leading me along andgetting me there. And you know,
he's helped me to help otherpeople. So just for example,
I'll tell you, try to tell youbriefly, don't know how we're

(50:15):
doing on time, but so I had thiswallet that my son gave me.
Actually have it right here,this Michael Kors billfold. And
of course, I treasured it oncehe was gone, of course, from
this physical earth. And Ididn't. I still didn't always
use it, but I tried to moreafter he after he left, and I

(50:37):
would put in my purse, but it'sbig, and so my person start
filling up with things, and Iwould shove it under my seat, or
my boyfriend's car, or maybe thetrunk. And one day, I realized I
didn't have it. I didn't thinkit was lost, but I wasn't sure
where it went. So I thought,well, you know, I'm gonna look
for it, and you know, I'm gonnaput it under my seat, and then,

(50:59):
you know, you get in your car.
To go to autopilot. So it tookme a few weeks to look under my
seat. Wasn't there. My boyfriendfinally he looked under his
seat. Wasn't there. I took mytrunk apart, wasn't there. And I
started thinking, Okay, I'mgoing to do what I call like a
search and destroy mission andtear my ass apart and find this
thing. But still not in a panic,right? And I had been a while. I
didn't realize how long it hadbeen. So in the meantime, my
daughter had moved back to town,and we had gone to get flowers

(51:21):
and stuff because I was doing anopen house. And these house
their condo that really neededto brighten up the front door,
and she needed them for her herapartment. And so we went to
Home Depot. And we got to HomeDepot, I got flowers, I got
pots, I got all kinds of stuff,and so did she, and she got

(51:43):
soil, and I didn't buy soil, andI knew I needed soil, but I just
didn't grab it. We got to theregister, my grandson started
kind of getting fussy, and Ithought, huh, you know, I'll
just get it tomorrow, when I wasgoing to babysit for her again.
So because we had gone, youknow, after work. So the next
day, Friday came along, and alot of things happened on

(52:03):
Fridays. For some reason, withme and I left her house, I did
not go to Dixie line. I justdrove on an autopilot, got on
the freeway. I thought, oh mygosh, okay, well, there's a Home
Depot on my way home. So Ithought, I'll go to the Home
Depot. I drove past that exit,but oh my goodness, am I sleep
deprived? What is going on here?
So I purposely drive tothe hardware store by my home,

(52:26):
and I walk in the door, and Igrab my bag of soil, and I pop
it on the countertop, and theguy starts ringing me up and his
name is Brandon. Lost my son'sname. Oh my
gosh, I think he does get hisname across your path a lot.
Yeah, not a lot, but this timefor sure. And so I said, Oh, you
know, I thought, oh, you know,hello from heaven. Okay, I'll

(52:47):
take it, but nothing major. So Igive him my phone number for my
ace rewards, and he says, Oh,you're Amy Sanders. I said,
Yeah. He goes because you eat itthis restaurant across the
freeway, Khan's cave. I said,Yeah, I go there. He said, I
found your wallet last nightand my other job, and all

(53:09):
of a sudden it's like, right?
Like, to me, stand still, I'msure, yeah. Like, wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait a minute,wait a minute. I pull him to the
side, and I say, Look, my songave me that wallet. His name's
Brandon. He's deceased. Yourname is Brandon, and you found
my wallet at your other job lastnight, when I should have bought
this soil at three other stores.

(53:30):
I should have already boughtthis. So here I am, right, and
so I go, I want to come to you.
This is not a coincidence. I'mgoing to come to your job
tonight. I'm going to get it. Soin the meantime, this other guy
starts ringing me up. There's aline starts forming. So I leave,
I go home, and I'm pretty blownout of the water already, right?
Yeah. So I wait a couple hours.

(53:54):
It's Friday and happy hour andall that. And I get there about
730 and it's still pretty busy,but the booth that I was in the
night that I left the walletopen. Wow. I thought, all right,
this is getting better. So Iwent, and I sat down, and I'm
waiting for my cocktail, and Isee him, and he comes over, and

(54:16):
I said, Oh, What's your middlename? James, same name. I said,
Tell me you're not a Sanders.
You know this? He goes, No, butlisten to this. He said, When
you came in today, I was not onthe register. I didn't work the
register. You're the only personI rang up in eight hours. The
guy had to go to the bathroom,and you walked in the door. Wow.
And so all of a sudden, prettyincredible. I mean, there's just

(54:39):
no way, right? And I'm like,what, you know? What I mean?
What are the chances? You know,all of that adding a million it
feels like that's amazing. Morethan that. I mean, it's
astronomical. And then he wegather ourselves, he's got to
get back to work. And as he'swalking away, the Muzak in the
restaurant plays the song, Amy,what you gonna do? Plays my

(55:03):
song. I just got chills. Yes,that's crazy. So I mean, just
like, boom, boom, boom, boom,boom, wow, and amazing. That's
when I sort of decided that wasthe sign that happened, and I
decided to sort of go publicwith it, that I was gonna tell
people that I didn't care ifthey wanted to use me as a
realtor or not, or what theythought, because I think it's

(55:26):
more important for people toknow that there's so much more
that we don't know about, reallycan't know about, but there's
physical experiences or, I mean,that's so I'm going to have that
song In my head the day, Amy,and
I'm gonna sing it to you everytime I see you. It's like,
that's undeniable. That's toomany, it's too many, many

(55:49):
things. It's like Brandon beinglike, how about now, mom? Yeah,
that's not enough. There's justno way like him being Brandon.
That's a coincidence. You know?
Wow. Um. Um, but the whole theway just unfurled was just
amazing, you know? And then Ialso, I had an had Invisalign,
and I was waiting to do my frontteeth. They give you these

(56:13):
placeholders. And normally, whenyou have Invisalign, they come
in, like, packages of eight, andyou just put them in every week,
and if you lost one, which youknow I had done, and you would
just pop in the next set in,right? So let you know about my
other big sign here. Yeah, Ilove it. So I couldn't find it

(56:33):
this one day, I was gettingready for bed, and I taken them
out for dinner, and I waslooking with my flashlight all
over my house about three times,about 2000 square feet, and
they're invisible, so you haveto have the flashlight to kind
of reflect the light. Yeah, andI'm searching and searching and
searching, and it's about one inthe morning when I finally give
up. Oh my gosh. I mean, I lookedat every surface. It pulled the

(56:56):
sofas apart. So to call mysearch and destroy, pulled the
sofas apart, looked under them,everywhere, touching, because,
you know, you have to try tomaybe feel for them. And I
thought, gosh, where are those?
So I said, Okay, I'm going tobed. You know, God, angels,
Brandon, you know, whoever's outthere, pull me out here, you

(57:17):
know, yeah, and then I feel badthat I didn't ask to, you know,
solve world hunger or somethingworking on that, you know, my
petty little, you know, need,you know, I know I'm gonna do
the walk of shame, because I'm a60 year old woman that can't
keep track of her Invisalign,you know, and the dentist office

(57:38):
in the morning, and how long isit gonna be before they get me
Another set my bottom teeth aregoing to start moving. And, you
know, I'm worried, but I justthink, okay. And I just, I'm so
exhausted, I just go to sleep. Iget up the morning, I think I'm
going to give one more lookbefore I call them. I get the
flashlight, and I'm looking andlooking, and something catches
my eye on my dining room tableby the window, and I look, and

(58:02):
it's not just the one. There arethree in a pile, like stacked up
on my gosh, from the past, otherones that had been lost. And I
know they weren't laying itaround, because I washed my
table.
Definitely seen them, obviously,yeah, if I had found just the
one, yeah, if I just found theone, it would have been like,

(58:22):
oh, there it is. But there'sthree stacked in a pile. And I
asked, you know, my fiance, hesaid, No, we're the only ones
here. There's just no way toexplain how, how those got like
that. It's like, Yeah, I'll findyour Invisalign and I'll get the
other ones too that you lost.
You know, so far you go, boom.
So it's just been stuff likethat. Yeah, it's just been, you

(58:45):
know, undeniable, too undeniableand consistent, you know. And
then they're not all that big,you know, there's plenty of you
know. But to me, no matter whatthe size of the sign is, they're
all miracles. To me,I agree. And it's, you know,
even if it feels really simplewhen it's happening, it's still
a mystical experience. They'restill working hard to I always

(59:07):
tell people, like, there a lotof things are happening for us
to just receive that one song onour radio. Like, we have to be
in the car at that exact moment.
That song has to be playing.
They have to get us to like, ohyeah, turn on your radio. They
have to, like, get us to turn upthe volume and pay attention to
the song and not be on thephone. And, I mean, it's a lot.
It's a lot for a little one. Andyou'll, you'll hear parents be

(59:28):
like, why? That's not enough. Iwant another. I want more, more,
more, more, right? Yeah. And Myexample is, well, if your child
came to you, you know, in lifewith paper that had an A on it,
would you be like, I need an Aplus, right? Like, just accept
it and be happy, you know? Just,yeah, you know, I try to tell

(59:49):
people it's like a volley too.
Like, I feel like it's like avolley when you and you don't
have to say it out loud, youdon't have to tell other people
if you don't want but justacknowledging, like, Okay, hi.
Like, thanks, I see you. Andthen you're like, kind of giving
it back to them, so then theycan bring you another hello in a
different way, at a differenttime. It's like a back and
forth. It's, it's, but often youwe do have to go outside in the

(01:00:11):
world. You're right.
I'm very grateful, very gratefulfor the the bond, the
communication. Yeah. You know, Imean, obviously I I want him
here, but if I can't have himhere, then I still have him
here. It's just different. It'sjust a different connection. And

(01:00:33):
that's really what it's allabout. I have a whole healing
list is really based on, youknow, connecting, you know, the
connection with your kid and,yeah, still connected through
the love that we share. Andright? You're bonded to turn
them no matter what, yeah, yeah,it's a special and I feel like
too, even if, I mean I believe,and I think you you do too, even

(01:00:53):
if a kiddo is adopted orconceived through surrogacy or
I'm there, still our kid, right?
So they're still your kid. Nomatter how they came into your
life. And that bond is just asstrong, you know, between parent
and child. It's, it's the love,you know exactly, yeah, so I
mean, I, I feel like God islove. God is the energy between

(01:01:17):
us, you know, like, I don't havereally conventional sense of it,
but I feel like that that's partof the story, that we're part of
God. They're part of God, andthey can connect to us
similarly. Yeah, I share thisactually. I don't remember who
it was. It might have been youand helping parents heal that

(01:01:37):
taught me this. It's one of themost profound analogies for
grief that I've ever heard, andI share it frequently,
particularly with parents, butlots of other people, when
they're in that really active,painful part of grief, someone
in helping parents heal, taughtme that grief is like standing
in the ocean, and there's alwayswaves, and some waves of grief

(01:01:58):
are big and will knock you down,and other waves that Come will
be small enough that you canstill stand in but you're always
standing in that ocean. Do youknow that what I'm talking
about? Yeah, okay, yeah,profound, yeah. I mean, I can
totally identify with that.
And yeah. I mean, it ebbs and itflows, yeah. And, you know, I

(01:02:22):
still have days, I mean, I'mfive and a half years in, and I
still will set time aside tocry, you know, amazing. I'll
purposely watch something sad,sometimes not purposely, and
it'll come out. But, you know,it builds up, and you might get
back into sort of a, you know,everyday schedule, but you know

(01:02:44):
it's still there, and it stillbuilds up and it still needs to
come out. So, yeah, yeah,definitely.
What advice would you give tosomeone that is really feeling
like they're struggling in,like, a really hard part of
their grief? Are there any toolsthat you've learned, or any tips
that you have as someone who'sgone through this experience.

(01:03:06):
Well, you know, I alwaysrecommend counseling to go to
counseling. I think professionalcounselors have a lot to offer,
and if nothing else, you knowtools to to use at the
beginning, definitely, you knowhow to cope. I do recommend

(01:03:27):
getting a reading as soon aspossible. I also think people
have to acknowledge that theymight need to be nudged along.
They might get to a point wherethey're stuck, and you have to
sort of nudge your self along,because if you don't do the
work, you're you have to do thework. And now there's just no
way that people say, you know,there's no way but through it.
And it's true, like you have togo through it. You have to do

(01:03:49):
the work to be able to moveforward. And you're not moving
on. You're not leaving your kidbehind. You're just moving
forward together, really. Andyou know, one of my early
readings, you know, was talkedabout, you know, that Brandon
was lighting a path for me and,you know, and helping pull me
out of, you know, the, notreally quicksand, but you know,

(01:04:12):
the, what? We all go down therabbit hole. You know it's gonna
happen. And you're gonna go downit, and you're gonna blame
yourself in some way, yeah, andthen you'll, if you do the work
you're gonna, you're gonna climbout of that. And it's just
really important to just havesome intention, yeah, and also

(01:04:33):
grace and accept that there willbe times where you're just
having a hard time, but, youknow, reach out to somebody, try
to talk to someone, and whetherit's a counselor or another
parent or, you know, someone inyour family that can empathize
with you, because a lot of timespeople get sort of left behind.
And then, you know, because lifedoes go on and their friends are

(01:04:56):
busy, and you know, they feltlike people forgot, but you know
it's it's impossible for otherpeople to imagine your life.
Yeah, it's just impossible. Theycan't know and and so you'll
take it personally. And so Ijust feel like, you know, just
look inside, do the healingwork. And I think one place that

(01:05:20):
people get held up is theacceptance part. And I listened
to a lot of Eckhart Tolle at thebeginning, just little snippets.
And I finally listened to hisfirst book, power for now. And
it's not about grief or evendeath, but it's about
acceptance. And it's really aunion principle of, yeah, you

(01:05:41):
know what you don't accept, willyou know cause more suffering.
What you resist persists, iswhat you know. And so you know,
coming to an acceptance is ahuge part. I know that's a,
that's a 12 step too, but it's,it's a, it's a huge thing. Is.

(01:06:01):
Was coming to accept it.
Yeah, it's a really hard thing.
I feel like it happens inlayers, probably, and I think
Grace is a really importantaspect of just not, you know,
not pushing too hard, but makingsure you're pushing yourself a
little and making sure thatyou're feeling the feelings, but
not sinking under the feelings.

(01:06:22):
Yeah, it's a balance, becauseyou're like, What am I not
doing? What do I need to do? Iwant to feel better, but you
have to understand that, youknow, I took David Kessler's
grief educator class, and hetalks about that, it two years
can still be new, you know. Anddefinitely one year is new. And
people sort of, like, I took amediumship class, I don't know,

(01:06:44):
probably sometime in the firstyear to two, and it was too
early for me. Some people maybeare more naturally, you know,
endowed that way would havebeen, you know, I just thought
I, you know, I was really, maybepushing myself in certain ways
more than I could, but you know,just simple things like meditate
every day, go for walks, youknow, take your shoes off under

(01:07:10):
a tree. You know, simple thingsto sort of energize yourself and
connect with your kid and beavailable for the signs. Be
available for the signs. Youknow, really always just be on
the lookout and, you know, trynot to doubt them. Write them
down, you know, I think that's,you know,

(01:07:31):
I highly encourage anyone who'sgoing through grief of loss to
whether it's helping parentsheal or another group. It's such
an important part of like yousaid, sometimes people might
feel like, oh, a year's gone bytwo years. I can't talk about
this all the time, but that's aspace created to share about it
and to be held in that sacredcontainer of how hard it is, and

(01:07:57):
getting to express having aplace to like, share and with
people that truly know, asimilar feeling,
yeah, you know, and then havingsome sense of purpose, you know,
some people feel pressured to gobig or go home like it doesn't
have to be, you know,everybody's different. And you
know, it could just be sharingyour story with somebody at the

(01:08:20):
grocery store now, beginningjournaling, or journaling or
whatever, like I would, I wouldjust tell people I met who had
children, hey, you know, don'tlet tell them not to take a pill
that's doesn't have their nameon the bottle. Like, you know, I
just did whatever little thing Icould, you know, to spread the

(01:08:43):
word in that regard. And now,you know, I'm pretty open with,
you know, the Wiwi stuff in mylife, because it's real to me.
And, yeah, I think it's helpfulto other people, and not
everybody's gonna receive it.
And, you know, and some peoplestruggle with their their
religion that you know, thatdoesn't agree with it. But, you
know, the way I look at it isthat people that have nd ease,

(01:09:06):
I've listened a lot and easy ndease, and sometimes they come
back with a gift of mediumshipor or some sort of, you know,
gift like that. And, yeah, wheredid they get the gift? Yeah,
exactly. So, you know what's whywould they have it if it wasn't
to be used for good?

(01:09:28):
I It's interesting when I, whenit first, mediumship first
started coming to me. I was, Itrained in massage therapy for
years, and wellness and healing.
And was doing I worked withangels, and then I worked with
guides, and then I worked with,like, a deeper trance
mediumship, which is kind ofchanneling that more overarching
wisdom. Let's just say, beforemediumship ever started coming

(01:09:49):
to me, and I went through aperiod where I was, like,
talking to the higher power ofmy heart, like, I don't know if
this is okay. I don't know if I,like, Is this okay to be doing?
And then, even though, at thattime, I wasn't trained so I
could just give little bits ofdetails. I just would see how
much just those tiny details ofthat person, that clearly it had
to come from them, because theywere very unique, specific

(01:10:11):
details. It lifted even just atiny layer of grief or suffering
off their heart. And I just knewlike, well, this can't be from a
bad place, like right, startthere and pursue it from there.
So, yeah, you've had thatexperience,
yeah? I mean, there's a lot of,there's, you know, a lot of
dogma that people get caught upin. And I just have to, I just

(01:10:35):
think that, you know, it's allabout love, and we, yeah, people
like, like, in my dream, andthat people that have the those
experiences on the other side,like they feel that that's the
this intense love. So that's gotto be God, because it's not the,
you know,it's not all the time here.
Anyway,it's not an evil thing that's
giving you love, right? So Idon't know. But anyhow, so yeah,

(01:10:58):
so I'm. I'm at peace with itall. And you know, I look
forward to seeing Brandon when Iget there, but I also know he's
here with me every day. Yeah,I love that. Well. Thank you so
much for sharing your time, forall the work that you do in the
world, for leading our localchapter of helping parents heal.
And I know that you're so activein so many ways. I appreciate

(01:11:21):
your openness and like being andbeing willing to share,
and I'm so grateful to know yousame here. Thank you joy. Thanks
for shining your light. Well.
I am so filled with gratitudeand peace, and so grateful to
Amy for sharing her story andBrandon's story with us today,

(01:11:44):
but also for the work that shedoes with helping parents heal.
Amy did reach out to me after werecorded, and she said she'd
just been thinking about it andrealized that Thanksgiving was
her son, Brandon's favoriteholiday, and so she said she's
not surprised actually, that hebrought that up specifically
since it is just around thecorner, and she also shared that

(01:12:07):
the piece that he brought upabout a special celebration, and
that he was very proud of herfor forgiveness and moving
forward in the way that she is,she wasn't open to sharing that
with all of us, but She didindicate that that's a very
significant thing that'shappening right now in her
family, and that it really wasan incredibly powerful message

(01:12:29):
that she needed to hear so thatjust is Brandon and the way that
the spirit world works. Theytruly know the need of our heart
and soul, regardless of what wemight want. They know how to
bring it and how to really touchinto our heart if we allow it.
So I'm so grateful to Amy forbeing here today and the work

(01:12:49):
that she does. I'm so gratefulto Brandon for also showing up
and helping with today'sepisode, and, of course, to
helping parents heal. And I'lllink their website again,
helping parents heal.org, in theshow notes, whether it's for you
or someone close to you, it isan incredible resource filled
with beautiful souls. Thanks forbeing here for this episode. Big

(01:13:11):
hugs. Lots of love. Bye for now,from inside spirit speakeasy,
you.