April 28, 2025 • 38 mins
Ever wondered if that powerful connection was a soulmate—or your twin flame?In this "Best Of" episode from the Spirit Speakeasy archive, we revisit one of the most-requested and misunderstood topics in the spiritual world: the real difference between twin flames and soulmates. If you’ve ever found yourself asking, “Have I met my twin flame?” or “Why do I feel such a deep pull to this person?”—this one’s for you.
You’ll walk away with a grounded understanding of spiritual connection, plus a renewed trust in your own intuitive guidance around love and destiny.
✨ Whether you’re in a deep connection now or still searching, this episode will help you feel more spiritually empowered—and less spiritually confused.
This episode explores:
🔹 The truth about what twin flames actually are (and what they’re not)
🔹 How soulmates differ energetically—and why the term is often misused
🔹 The most common misconceptions about these spiritual relationships
🔹 Whether you “need” a twin flame or soulmate for spiritual fulfillment
🔹 Why not all intense connections are meant to last (and how to know the difference)
🔹 The deeper purpose behind these connections—beyond romance
This conversation is equal parts myth-busting and soul-nourishing, offering clarity, compassion, and intuitive insight for those navigating powerful soul-level relationships.
🔔 Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, or share this episode with someone who’s felt the pull of a soul-deep connection. Let’s demystify the spiritual side of love—together.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Hey, beautiful soul, welcome toSpirit Speakeasy. I'm Joy
Giovanni, joyful medium. I'm aworking psychic medium, energy
healer and spiritual giftsmentor. This podcast is like a
seat at the table in a secretclub, but with mediums, mystics
and the spiritual luminaries ofour time. So come behind the
(00:23):
velvet ropes with me and seeinside my world as I chat
insider style with profoundlygifted souls, we go deep, share
juicy stories, laugh a lot, andit wouldn't be a speakeasy
without great insider secretsand tips. You might even learn
that you have some gifts of yourown. So step inside the spirit
(00:45):
speakeasy. Hey, beautiful soultoday I want to share with you
about the topic of twin flamesand soul mates. These are buzz
words that are really powerful,and I feel like so often,
clients come in dropping thesewords, and the immediate thing I
want to do is ask them to tellme what they know about
(01:07):
whichever term they're askingabout, whether they're asking
about twin, flame or soulmate. Iusually ask them to give me a
little bit of information aboutwhat they know, because I find
that most people are kind ofmisinformed about what these
are, what they mean, what thedifference is. A lot of people
(01:29):
think a twin flame is just likea more powerful soul mate, which
is not really exactly what itis. I'm gonna tell you
everything I know from the bestof my understanding right now.
Of course, I'm always learningand growing myself. My guides
are often giving me inspirationand information, and so just
(01:51):
like anyone, hopefully, myknowledge and wisdom continues
to change and grow over time.
But this is what I know rightnow, and I want to share it with
you, just because this is sucha, I don't know, hot topic. This
is such a thing that people askabout a lot, and they're just so
much confusion around it. So I'mexcited to dive right in and
(02:14):
talk about both twin flames andsoul mates, what they are, what
they're not. Do you have them?
What it means and what it meansfor you if you do or if you
don't have a twin flame or asoul mate. So without any
further ado, let's just diveright in. So first, let's talk
(02:36):
about what a twin flame is andwhat a soul mate is. These are
totally different terms. They'reoften getting their wires
crossed, and people are confusedabout which one's which and
where it comes from and all ofthat. So essentially, a twin
flame is the way I understandit. I'm going to use some words
(02:58):
that are different from what Ithe way I hear people explain
it, and some of it might besaying the same thing, but just
in a different way. It'sessentially another soul that
you have a long term agreementwith or contract with that
throughout different lifetimes,different incarnations that you
(03:20):
and this other soul willcontinue to help each other
grow, expand, learn, and morefully express all of the
potentials of your soul in thatlifetime that you're in now,
just a little terminology. We'vetalked about this before, but
all of us are a soul having ahuman experience. So we are a
(03:41):
soul. We have a body. We have ahuman body. I believe we
incarnate potentially severaltimes if we choose to. I do
think we have free will choicein this as well. And I believe,
and I feel like I know it to betrue in my bones, we don't
always incarnate in the sameway, meaning I might be a woman
(04:03):
identifying as a cisgender womanin in my physical body in this
lifetime, and I might incarnatein a different lifetime as a
man, someone that is cis male,or I could come in in a
different lifetime and identifyas a trans person, or any other
kind of person. We're notlimited to only one gender,
(04:25):
we're not limited only to oneidentity, we're not limited only
to one orientation. It could bedifferent every time, and same
for our twin flame, they canincarnate in a different form
every time. So I feel like whata lot of people get confused,
and it's based on a very old wayof thinking. Is that, you know,
(04:47):
with both twin flames and soulmates, it's like bookends,
right? It's like, has to be onemale and one female, which is
not true, or it has to be, youknow, lots of has to be. Is,
we're going to talk about thatmore in a minute. Yeah, so twin
flame is really kind of acontractual agreement, but it's
(05:09):
something you you're willinglydoing. No one's forcing it on
you with this other soul. Andone of the interesting things
about the twin flamerelationship is that twin flames
don't always incarnate in thesame lifetime. So this is why
it's almost a little funny whenpeople think it's just a more
(05:31):
powerful version of your idealpartner, because that's not at
all what it is, and actually atwin flame relationship, if they
are incarnated in the samelifetime with you. So let me
just back up a little bitoftentimes, the way I understand
it is oftentimes one partner ofthe twin flame contract. Let's
(05:53):
just call it that for easy, easytalking. One party is here in a
physical body, in a physicalworld, and one party remains on
the other side as like a guide.
So most often, you and your twinflame will not be incarnated in
the same lifetime, but sometimesyou will be, and when you are,
it's not this powerful, blessedunion that people often want to
(06:16):
think it is Twin Flames actuallytend to be the most challenged
relationships in our lives. Thebest example that I have of it
is, if you remember that movieHitchcock with Charlize Theron
and Will Smith, there are thesetwo powerful creators, right?
Really, just like us, twopowerful souls, and they
(06:39):
continue to be drawn back to oneanother, but the closer they
get, the more in contact theyare, the more in proximity they
are, the more explosive thingsbecome, and really a twin flame
is a push pull relationship,where they are signing up to
support us in a very deep soulgrowth way. Now, what do I mean
(07:01):
by that, if you are cruisingalong and coasting along and
your soul mate is alsoincarnated in this life, their
role would be to shake you up,shake you out of your normal,
shake you out of complacency.
Sometimes we see it happen inunhealthy relationships, where
(07:23):
these two people are just sotoxic together, so explosive
that then they are drawntogether and pushed apart,
sometimes in an explosive way,to both be available, to better
themselves, to more deeplyunderstand what they need on
their journey, to do some sortof profound healing and growth.
(07:44):
So a lot of times, if your twinflame, you know, really, I think
always, I just don't love usingthat word, because it's so
final. But if your twin flamesincarnated in the same lifetime
with you. It's not a warm andfuzzy relationship. It's a tough
relationship. And just so youknow, twin flames are not always
(08:07):
going to show up in a romanticway. So I think because of
marketing, probably both ofthese terms, twin flame and
soulmate are really often posedas a romantic life partner, and
it's not always what it is. Sosometimes a twin flame can be a
romantic partner, but notalways. Sometimes it can be any
(08:29):
relationship, really, a teacher,a parent, a friend, just another
person that you know, acolleague, but like I said, most
often they're not even in a bodyat the same time as you. So
they're on the other side,you're on this side, or vice
versa. They're on this side andyou're on the other side,
(08:50):
helping them, poking them along,you know, metaphorically, to
reach their highest potential.
We all have these potentials inour life, right? It's when we're
living to the fullest of ourpotential, to the best of our
ability. We have certain thingsavailable to us that we can
choose to go after or not. Butthere are all these speed bumps,
(09:13):
all these distractions, allthese things placed in our path,
in our human experience, right?
And we can get deterred. We cango on these detours. We can get
involved in things that are notthe highest and greatest good
for us, that are not the bestexpression of our soul in that
(09:36):
moment or in that lifetime, thatare not
I mean right and wrong is like,I think, a tough term to use
here, but maybe not the highestexpression of your soul in that
lifetime, and that's where thetwin flame relationship comes in
often as a guide from the otherside to spur you on, to make you
(09:56):
so uncomfortable that you havealmost no choice. Choice but to
grow to where sitting in thatsame position, in that same
place, living in that same wayor doing those same habits
becomes so uncomfortable that itis much more safe to get the
(10:16):
heck out of there and take careof yourself or whatever it is
you need to take care of them,to stay in that complacent or
often unhealthy situation. Sothey can be doing that from the
other side, they can be doingthat from this side. The other
thing to know is, even if youthink someone is a twin flame
for you, right, say you'rethinking in your mind, oh, do I
have someone in my life likethat, that we're continuously,
(10:39):
almost like magnetically drawnback together, and then it's
very unhealthy and explosive.
And, you know, like in thatmovie hit Hitchcock were almost
like thrust apart, right? Itdoesn't mean that you have to
stay in that kind ofrelationship. It doesn't mean
that you can't completelyexclude them from your life.
You'll see them again later onthe other side. Don't worry
about it, but that's the natureof a twin flame relationship. It
(11:01):
is sort of like that coach thatcracks the whip, or that
teacher, that helper that putsyou in uncomfortable positions
or situations for your owngrowth, and it is why most often
we're not incarnated at the sametime, right? So don't get it
twisted. Don't be out theretrying to look for your twin
(11:23):
flame. If you have one that isincarnated in this lifetime with
you, don't worry. They'll showup, and you probably, within
short order, within a coupleyears, will be begging for them
to leave your your site again.
That's often how it is. So twinflames are really powerful, deep
(11:45):
relationships, but they'rethey're most often really
uncomfortable if you'reincarnated at the same time. So
they're not these warm andfuzzy, fluffy relationships.
Their whole point, the purposeof them, the intention of them,
is to help us grow. And if youthink about this little metaphor
that I'm going to give you, itmight be cliche, but, you know,
(12:06):
diamonds grow under incrediblepressure, incredible conditions,
is what turns carbon intodiamond. So it's not different
with us. Our nature is to wantto flow in the lazy river and
let things be easy, right? It'sour human nature. We want things
to settle down. We want it to beeasy. We want to be abundant. We
(12:26):
don't want to put ourselvesthrough the fire, right? It's
uncomfortable to be in toughsituations, uncomfortable to do
sometimes the hard work onourself. It's vulnerable,
sometimes to put ourselves inthe position to grow in the way
that we need to and so, becausewe come from a place of infinite
wisdom and love and support,we've set up these things for
(12:49):
ourselves to help us beencouraged. I want to say
forced, but I mean, we stillhave free will. You could choose
to not grow at all if you wantedto, but to be encouraged,
sometimes in uncomfortable ways,to grow, to expand and to
express more and more of yoursoul's full potential in the
lifetime, right? So that is whata twin flame, essentially, is.
(13:14):
More often than not, you are notgoing to be incarnated in the
same lifetime. It's a bitunusual, but like I said, if you
are incarnated in the samelifetime as your twin flame,
don't expect it to be acomfortable relationship. It's
usually a very painfulrelationship, but often we grow
a lot from it, and most often,we end up completely cutting off
(13:36):
contact with that person at sometime in our life, and often
indefinitely. So not alwaysthere. There could be a chance
you could continue to do thatmagnetic push, pull, loop back
around, have completely toxic orunhealthy or difficult
situations experiences with thatperson, and then explode apart
again. You can continue thatcycle, if you choose. But a lot
(14:00):
of times. If that's the cyclethat they're in with you,
they're there, you're there, andthey're there, both helping each
other to break those cycles andmove in healthier directions. So
keep that in mind. So that in anutshell, is the twin flame. Now
let's hop over to soul mates,because this is where I think it
can get super confusing. Sothere is something sometimes
(14:23):
it's called the red thread.
Sometimes it's called thesplitting of souls. I, for me, I
feel like a lot of these arelike marketing ploys, to be
honest. But what some peoplebelieve is that the the soul
mate is like the other half ofyour soul, or two souls that
(14:44):
were tied together at thebeginning of life. That's that
red thread thing. And then eachof you has this invisible red
thread of love or of connectionof power between you and your.
Lot in life is to search theworld over to find this one
missing half of you for the restof your life. That is kind of,
(15:07):
in a traditional sense, whatsoul mate means. But it's just
not how I understand it. That'snot what I actually think it
even is. I just think it's ait's a romantic notion that
people describe it or talk aboutit in that way. For me, I feel
like that just feels, I don'tknow, a little unrealistic, like
(15:30):
what our soul would set up forus, that we just have to, like
journey around to find this oneperson, like, what if they're
born on the complete other sideof the world from you, and
there's very slim chance thatyou would actually ever come
into contact with them, andthere's only just this one
person that you are supposed toseek out and find. So that's a B
(15:56):
for me. Anyway, I really feellike that's a misconception. I
don't believe that it is thisone perfect romantic partner
that is the other half of oursoul that we are destined to
Pine after and search forforever. I just don't believe
that that is the truth of whatit is. It just seems kind of
cruel and totally illogical. Butif that's the version of it that
(16:21):
you like, you're free to hang onto it. We've all got free will
choices. I'm just offering youanother way of thinking about
it, and the way that Iunderstand it, so the way I
understand soulmate, again, notdissimilar to twin flames when
I'm talking about theIncarnation in our bodies,
soulmate doesn't have to be aromantic partner. We can
(16:43):
experience soul materelationships many times in our
lives. We can experience it oncein our life, we can. I can't
speak for everybody, so I don'tknow if there's some people that
never experience it, but I findthat kind of hard to believe. So
what a soul mate relationship isis a deep connection that
transcends all of our humanchallenges. It's this very
(17:08):
special deep connection. But itdoesn't necessarily have to be a
romantic connection, like I wassaying. We have this romantic
notion, again, from movies andmarketing, about soul mate being
just that one perfect person foryou. Now, if you've ever been in
a relationship with any personof any kind, any relationship,
(17:29):
you know that relationships arework, that there is no perfect
person out there, because we areall imperfect. It's part of our
human condition. Is thisimperfection? So if you are
waiting for the perfect otherhalf of your soul to show up and
rescue you. You're in trouble,because this is never going to
happen. And I thought about thatfor a long time in my younger
(17:52):
life. I you know, there was atime where I thought like, Okay,
this is what's true. What I knowto be true now is that soul
mates can show up in any of therelationships in our lives. So
for me, she doesn't know. I'mgonna out her about this, but my
best friend is my soul mate.
We've been friends for more than25 years, and there is this
connection between us thattranscends all the muddiness of
(18:14):
life. It's a soul connection.
It's a soul to soul connection.
So we choose to stay incommunication with each other.
We choose to work on ourrelationship. We choose to have
this communication right work onit. I don't believe that there's
(18:36):
just, like I said, some perfectperson that shows up that you
never have to work on it, andoften, like we're sold this idea
that, Oh, when you have yoursoulmate, it's not going to be
work. So if you're having towork too hard, that means that
that's not your soulmate. That'snot true. We're all human. We
all were raised from humanchildren and had all of these
(18:57):
different experiences, oftentraumas, challenges, things that
went on in our family, thingsthat happened to us over time.
No person is perfect. No persondoesn't have emotions that they
get to continue to work on. Weall have that just a part as a
part of us, we need to continueto work on our communication
(19:18):
skills, on our tough emotions,on sharing, our emotions, on all
the parts of engaging withanother person, whether it's in
a romantic relationship or anyother relationship, true
relationships, if you want tostay in a real relationship with
someone, takes work. It takesattention. It's like tending a
(19:38):
garden, you're not going to justnot water, not weed, not control
sunlight, or at least payattention, not even look at the
garden and expect it to continueto produce the most beautiful
fruit and be self maintaining.
That's not real. It's the samewith a relationship. We need to
tend it. We need to beresponsible for our actions. Our
(20:00):
words, we need to come usually,with compassion. We need to see
them for who they are, not justwho we want them to be. There's
a lot of elements that go intoany relationship. A soulmate
relationship is just a differentlevel of connection. Now, it
could indicate that our soulsalready know each other from
before, but I believe that a lotof people in our close circle,
(20:23):
our souls know from the otherside already. You might have
heard of something called soulgroups, or soul families, which
is the idea that several people,several souls, often incarnate
at the same time, sometimes inthe same families, and play
different roles. So I might bethe mom this time and the next
(20:43):
time I might be the dad or thelittle brother or the uncle or
the niece. So we play differentroles, different incarnations,
based on what we what our soulwants to experience that
lifetime. Now, Soul Mates cancome as romantic partners,
certainly, but they can alsocome, like I told you, with me
as my best friend. They can comeas parent child relationship.
(21:07):
They can come in any of therelationships in our life. It
could be siblings that our soulmates. Sometimes we see this
with like twins, for example,where there's a just such a
close relationship thattranscends the difficulties of
human life. It's a special soulto soul bond, or connection. But
(21:27):
that's where it gets muddy,because people assume that
because it's this beautiful soulbond, soul connection, that it
means that A, it's going to beromantic, and B, it's going to
be easy, and neither of those istrue 100% of the time. Yeah,
there might be times where it'sjust easier, or you just get
each other, or you just can feelcompassion for them, or you just
(21:51):
really see them for the truth ofwho they are, and that's
beautiful, but it's certainlynot always that way. They're
going to annoy you, they'regoing to have bad breath
sometimes, you know what I mean,like we're all we're all just in
this human experience. So if youare waiting for a soul mate who
is perfect that doesn't exist,and I hate to break this to you
like I hate to be the one totell you this, but you're not
(22:13):
perfect either. I am very farfrom perfect, and I'm reminded
of it all the time. Not that Iever thought it, but so not
expecting this soulmate personto be perfect, and not putting
all of the relationships in yourlife on hold because you waiting
for some imaginary perfectpartner, true partnership of any
(22:37):
kind, true lasting relationshipof any kind takes work, and
that's just the bottom line.
Because we grow and evolve andchange as people. We have
different thoughts and differentunderstandings and different
needs at different times in ourlife, and yes, there might be
this deep, special connectionwhere you can continue to ebb
and flow with someone. You bothcontinue to agree to be in each
(22:58):
other's lives, to be tending tothat garden of your relationship
with where you're both puttingin time and effort. You're both
expressing your emotionshonestly and openly. There's a
vulnerability that we have tobring for a deep connection like
this. It's not going to be acursory relationship in your
life, meaning it's, you know,sometimes people say like, oh,
(23:21):
I'm worried that I missed mysoulmate relationship. You
won't, don't worry. It's notgoing to be just someone that
you used to pass in the officethat there really was no
connection between you. Oftenit, it's a special connection,
but sometimes we don't recognizeit right away, right? So think
about those relationships inyour life that are those deep
soul to soul connections, thoseare probably more in alignment
(23:45):
with your soul materelationships. And that's
bringing me to the next point onthis. And what I want to say is
that you don't just have onesoul mate. I mean, can you
imagine having to look the wholeworld over for one person, and I
feel like we'd be missing eachother all the time, like, you
know, I might go to the otherside of the world looking for
(24:05):
them, and maybe they're offtraveling looking for me, you
know, it'd be really justunlikely odds to ever meet that
person. So it really can be morethan one person in your life
too. We're not limited to justonly one soul mate relationship.
We can have several of them.
(24:29):
It just means that our soulshave a friendship, a love, a
connection. We know each otheralready from the other side, and
that can be true in lots of ourrelationships. Like I said, I do
believe in soul families andsoul groups, and that's not to
say that you have to reincarnateevery time your soul group
reincarnates. I believe we havea choice. Maybe sometimes you
(24:50):
stay back as a guide, maybesometimes you come in with the
family and just play a differentrole, and that's your role for
this lifetime. But I don't.
Think those are mutuallyexclusive of each other. I think
you can have your family group asoulmate. Might be a member of
your family group, or they mightnot. They might just be a friend
in this lifetime. They might bea lover. They might be someone
(25:12):
you knew a long time ago. Theymight be someone you haven't met
yet. They might be someone thatyou only get a short amount of
years with because, you know,something happens, maybe they
pass away, or maybe life justtakes you guys in different
directions, but the connectionis real and deep, and you guys
really see each other. This kindof probably be so dorky, so
(25:35):
apologize in advance. But thething I keep thinking of is in
that movie Avatar, you know whenshe's talking to him and and the
way that they say it in thattribe is, I see you. I see you.
And that reminds me the most ofwhat the soul mate relationship
feels like, because it's thatperson that's really, truly sees
you as a soul, more than justyour human self, and is willing
(26:01):
to continue to stay in it and bethere and work with you through
it, and you both choose to be inrelationship. But that's true of
any relationship. It's a choicethe relationships we choose to
continue in our lives to foster.
There's choice involved. It'sit's an active choice to put
(26:23):
effort into those most importantrelationships, right? So one of
the things I am encouraging youto do today is not worry so much
about who's your twin flame andwho's your soul mate, and are
you going to find your soulmate? Who do you choose to have
in your life, who resonates withyou. I feel like you know
(26:45):
sometimes, from time to time,there are people in our lives
who we no longer want to be inrelationship with. Maybe we just
don't see eye to eye anymore.
Maybe one of us has grown andthe other one hasn't, and it's
just not gonna fly anymore.
There's a lot of reasons to exita relationship with someone, and
it doesn't make them any less asoulmate, necessarily. I just
(27:09):
really feel like we get too hungup on chasing soulmates or
chasing twin flames, and Iespecially think it's kind of
funny sometimes because peopledon't realize what a twin flame
is. I really feel like if morepeople knew what it was, they
would chase it, because it's notpleasant. So do you have a
soulmate out there? Absolutely,do you have more than one? I
(27:32):
believe we all have many soulmates out there, and I believe
there are also other people whoare not necessarily our quote,
unquote soulmates, that we canhave really thriving, beautiful,
cultivated relationships withthat are deep and supportive and
that we nurture and tend to likea garden that aren't necessarily
(27:56):
a soulmate, and that's Beautifultoo. So I hope this has helped
you understand a little bitabout the difference between the
soulmate relationship and thetwin flame relationship, what
they are what they're not. Butmore than that, I hope it's
really given you permission notto be like so hung up on those
(28:16):
relationships and not that younecessarily are right, because
we're all different, but reallyjust hoping that you'll have
more permission to just payattention to the relationships
that you are in andintentionally gardening right,
cultivating, nurturing, puttingthe work in, the Time in for the
(28:40):
people that you want to fosterthose relationships in this
lifetime with, because that'swhat's important. What if you
have a soulmate and you don'tever meet them, right? If we
have several soulmates, theremight be some that you don't get
to come in contact with in thislifetime, but that doesn't mean
your experience has to be anyless rich or fulfilling. I just
(29:02):
want to invite you to releasethat idea of needing to hold on
for just that one perfect personthat doesn't exist and not be
living your life, enjoyingyourself and remember soulmates
can come in any relationship inour life. So it's not only
limited to romantic partners,and sometimes, you know, we have
(29:27):
relationships that are soulmates that are not romantic
partners. Maybe those workbetter even because they don't
have that romantic charge. Dosoul mates exist as romantic
partners? Sure, of course, theydo, but they exist in lots of
other relationships too, andmaybe you can identify one of
those in your own life, like Ihave with my bestie. Or maybe
(29:49):
you feel like I haven'texperienced that deep and
profound of a soul connectionyet, and that's okay too. It
doesn't mean that it's not stillto come for you. Um. Just being
available for and open to it,but not demanding of it, or not
needing it as a requirement, Ifeel like is the best way to
make it happen. If it's gonnahappen for you. What if you have
(30:13):
soulmates out there, right inyour world right now that you
haven't met yet because you'renot putting yourself out there?
Maybe they are a friend. Maybeit's not a romantic partner
that's going to be your soulmatein that way. Maybe it's a
friend. But if you're not opento making friends and meeting
people and, you know, nurturingand fostering new relationships,
(30:35):
then you're not going to findthem. You're making that true
for yourself. I do believe thatwe're here to experience, like I
said, the full spectrum of humanemotions, which includes deep
and profound love. But that canshow up in so many ways, and it
is one of the biggest mistakes Isee with clients when it comes
(30:56):
to relationships, is thatsometimes people can get so hung
up on these ideas of perfectpartner or perfect relationship,
or the relationship where itjust isn't so much work, or
whatever version of that, youknow, whatever words you have
that you want to plug in there,but really we're missing out on
so much of the experience if wedo that. Soul Mates can come in
(31:19):
all forms, in any gender, in anyrelationship, at any time in our
life. So just be available forit really is the best guidance.
Just be available for it, andtreasure and cherish the
relationships that you do have,that you do want to nurture and
(31:40):
foster, because it is thosepeople that feed us and sustain
us emotionally, spiritually, thepeople that really help us see
ourselves when we are often, youknow, at our lowest point, or
when we just Can't see the truthof who we are as divine,
(32:03):
creative, Soul beings.
At any point, this relationshipcan come to you, if you don't
already have a soulmaterelationship in your life. I
wish it for each and every oneof us, and I think it's
available to each and every oneof us, because, like I said, I
believe we're here to experienceall the emotions, not just a few
(32:23):
of them. So if you don't feellike you've experienced that
deep connection with anothersoul, yet while you're still
here and there's still time forit, so I put it back to you, are
you putting yourself out there?
Are you making new friends? Areyou putting yourself in a place
where you want to be deeplyconnected to the people there.
Maybe it's because you have acommon interest. Maybe it's
(32:44):
because we're geographicallydesirable to be in friendship,
but really just fostering,nurturing those relationships
that sustain you and thatnurture you, because that is the
true nature of a soulmaterelationship is to see each
other when you're at yourroughest. You know everyone's
(33:05):
great on their good days, butwhat about on the tough days?
What about on those days whenyou need someone to stand on
firm ground because you feellike you're sinking and rather
than getting in the mud with youand making a muddy mess of the
both of you. You need someonewho can stand on firm ground,
who can see you, and who canextend a hand and let you climb
(33:26):
yourself out of that mud. That'swhat a soulmate relationship
does for you. But it's work.
It's effort. It is tending theproverbial relationship garden
just like anything else. So letme know if you agree or disagree
with my share. Hopefully you'llagree, and hopefully it makes
(33:47):
sense to you. I just thinkthat's you know, used against us
in marketing and movies so much,and these terms have become so
confused for people, and oftenpeople have themselves tied up
in knots or really distraught orupset because they feel like
they don't have a soulmate, orthey don't have a twin flame,
and not really understandingwhat these are, and probably
(34:11):
overlooking a soulmateconnection that they already
have, because some part of ourhumanness wants it to be
romantic, and It's not right. Soagain, it can show up in any
relationship in your life. Couldbe friendship or mentorship or
parent child or siblings orromantic, or any of the other
(34:34):
ways, any of the versions ofrelationship. I know someone
whose grandparent was one oftheir soul mates, which is also
pretty incredible. So I've seenit in all the different
relationships. Let me know ifyou've experienced a soul mate
connection yet, or if you'reeven available for one. Maybe
you know, through some of this,you're realizing, Oh, wait, I am
(34:55):
kind of closed off. I'm notreally putting myself out there
to make new friends. I'm notfostering relationships with
people who inspire me. That'sreally the thing to do. If
that's not what you're doing,that's how you're going to be
able to step into theserelationships. It won't be every
relationship. We're lucky if wehave one or two that cross our
(35:18):
paths in this way, but they'reavailable to you, whether you've
experienced them already orhaven't at all yet. Just know
that soul mates are available toyou. It just might look a little
different than what they toldyou. So hopefully this has been
giving you some food forthought. It may have shaken you
(35:38):
up a little bit or made youthink about things in a
different way, but just knowthat I'm here and we're going to
continue these talks again. Letme know if there's any other
questions you have, any topicsyou're wanting to hear about,
and I am more than happy to talkon whatever it is you guys want
to know about that I know, orfind a guest for us who knows
(35:59):
about it that can share with us.
So let me know how this topicresonated with you. And if you
are enjoying this podcast, Ihope that you will subscribe and
like and even share if you want,if you figure out how to leave
the comments, please do that.
That always helps. And if youwant to save it and listen more
(36:21):
than once. That's wonderful too,but important to share with
anyone you know who is a littlebummed out about their
relationship zone, or who youhear complaining about soul
mates or twin flames or evenwondering about them, this might
be the bright episode to sharewith them. So thanks for being
here with me. I hope this hasbeen informative and valuable
(36:42):
and maybe even a littleinspiring to you. Thanks for
spending this time with me. Itis always an honor and a
privilege for me. And big hugs.
Lots of love. Bye for now. Frominside the spirit speakeasy,
you.
Hey, beautiful soul, welcome toSpirit Speakeasy. I'm Joy
Giovanni, joyful medium. I'm aworking psychic medium, energy
healer and spiritual giftsmentor. This podcast is like a
seat at the table in a secretclub, but with mediums, mystics
and the spiritual luminaries ofour time. So come behind the
(00:23):
velvet ropes with me and seeinside my world as I chat
insider style with profoundlygifted souls, we go deep, share
juicy stories, laugh a lot, andit wouldn't be a speakeasy
without great insider secretsand tips. You might even learn
that you have some gifts of yourown. So step inside the spirit
(00:45):
speakeasy. Hey, beautiful soultoday I want to share with you
about the topic of twin flamesand soul mates. These are buzz
words that are really powerful,and I feel like so often,
clients come in dropping thesewords, and the immediate thing I
want to do is ask them to tellme what they know about
(01:07):
whichever term they're askingabout, whether they're asking
about twin, flame or soulmate. Iusually ask them to give me a
little bit of information aboutwhat they know, because I find
that most people are kind ofmisinformed about what these
are, what they mean, what thedifference is. A lot of people
(01:29):
think a twin flame is just likea more powerful soul mate, which
is not really exactly what itis. I'm gonna tell you
everything I know from the bestof my understanding right now.
Of course, I'm always learningand growing myself. My guides
are often giving me inspirationand information, and so just
(01:51):
like anyone, hopefully, myknowledge and wisdom continues
to change and grow over time.
But this is what I know rightnow, and I want to share it with
you, just because this is sucha, I don't know, hot topic. This
is such a thing that people askabout a lot, and they're just so
much confusion around it. So I'mexcited to dive right in and
(02:14):
talk about both twin flames andsoul mates, what they are, what
they're not. Do you have them?
What it means and what it meansfor you if you do or if you
don't have a twin flame or asoul mate. So without any
further ado, let's just diveright in. So first, let's talk
(02:36):
about what a twin flame is andwhat a soul mate is. These are
totally different terms. They'reoften getting their wires
crossed, and people are confusedabout which one's which and
where it comes from and all ofthat. So essentially, a twin
flame is the way I understandit. I'm going to use some words
(02:58):
that are different from what Ithe way I hear people explain
it, and some of it might besaying the same thing, but just
in a different way. It'sessentially another soul that
you have a long term agreementwith or contract with that
throughout different lifetimes,different incarnations that you
(03:20):
and this other soul willcontinue to help each other
grow, expand, learn, and morefully express all of the
potentials of your soul in thatlifetime that you're in now,
just a little terminology. We'vetalked about this before, but
all of us are a soul having ahuman experience. So we are a
(03:41):
soul. We have a body. We have ahuman body. I believe we
incarnate potentially severaltimes if we choose to. I do
think we have free will choicein this as well. And I believe,
and I feel like I know it to betrue in my bones, we don't
always incarnate in the sameway, meaning I might be a woman
(04:03):
identifying as a cisgender womanin in my physical body in this
lifetime, and I might incarnatein a different lifetime as a
man, someone that is cis male,or I could come in in a
different lifetime and identifyas a trans person, or any other
kind of person. We're notlimited to only one gender,
(04:25):
we're not limited only to oneidentity, we're not limited only
to one orientation. It could bedifferent every time, and same
for our twin flame, they canincarnate in a different form
every time. So I feel like whata lot of people get confused,
and it's based on a very old wayof thinking. Is that, you know,
(04:47):
with both twin flames and soulmates, it's like bookends,
right? It's like, has to be onemale and one female, which is
not true, or it has to be, youknow, lots of has to be. Is,
we're going to talk about thatmore in a minute. Yeah, so twin
flame is really kind of acontractual agreement, but it's
(05:09):
something you you're willinglydoing. No one's forcing it on
you with this other soul. Andone of the interesting things
about the twin flamerelationship is that twin flames
don't always incarnate in thesame lifetime. So this is why
it's almost a little funny whenpeople think it's just a more
(05:31):
powerful version of your idealpartner, because that's not at
all what it is, and actually atwin flame relationship, if they
are incarnated in the samelifetime with you. So let me
just back up a little bitoftentimes, the way I understand
it is oftentimes one partner ofthe twin flame contract. Let's
(05:53):
just call it that for easy, easytalking. One party is here in a
physical body, in a physicalworld, and one party remains on
the other side as like a guide.
So most often, you and your twinflame will not be incarnated in
the same lifetime, but sometimesyou will be, and when you are,
it's not this powerful, blessedunion that people often want to
(06:16):
think it is Twin Flames actuallytend to be the most challenged
relationships in our lives. Thebest example that I have of it
is, if you remember that movieHitchcock with Charlize Theron
and Will Smith, there are thesetwo powerful creators, right?
Really, just like us, twopowerful souls, and they
(06:39):
continue to be drawn back to oneanother, but the closer they
get, the more in contact theyare, the more in proximity they
are, the more explosive thingsbecome, and really a twin flame
is a push pull relationship,where they are signing up to
support us in a very deep soulgrowth way. Now, what do I mean
(07:01):
by that, if you are cruisingalong and coasting along and
your soul mate is alsoincarnated in this life, their
role would be to shake you up,shake you out of your normal,
shake you out of complacency.
Sometimes we see it happen inunhealthy relationships, where
(07:23):
these two people are just sotoxic together, so explosive
that then they are drawntogether and pushed apart,
sometimes in an explosive way,to both be available, to better
themselves, to more deeplyunderstand what they need on
their journey, to do some sortof profound healing and growth.
(07:44):
So a lot of times, if your twinflame, you know, really, I think
always, I just don't love usingthat word, because it's so
final. But if your twin flamesincarnated in the same lifetime
with you. It's not a warm andfuzzy relationship. It's a tough
relationship. And just so youknow, twin flames are not always
(08:07):
going to show up in a romanticway. So I think because of
marketing, probably both ofthese terms, twin flame and
soulmate are really often posedas a romantic life partner, and
it's not always what it is. Sosometimes a twin flame can be a
romantic partner, but notalways. Sometimes it can be any
(08:29):
relationship, really, a teacher,a parent, a friend, just another
person that you know, acolleague, but like I said, most
often they're not even in a bodyat the same time as you. So
they're on the other side,you're on this side, or vice
versa. They're on this side andyou're on the other side,
(08:50):
helping them, poking them along,you know, metaphorically, to
reach their highest potential.
We all have these potentials inour life, right? It's when we're
living to the fullest of ourpotential, to the best of our
ability. We have certain thingsavailable to us that we can
choose to go after or not. Butthere are all these speed bumps,
(09:13):
all these distractions, allthese things placed in our path,
in our human experience, right?
And we can get deterred. We cango on these detours. We can get
involved in things that are notthe highest and greatest good
for us, that are not the bestexpression of our soul in that
(09:36):
moment or in that lifetime, thatare not
I mean right and wrong is like,I think, a tough term to use
here, but maybe not the highestexpression of your soul in that
lifetime, and that's where thetwin flame relationship comes in
often as a guide from the otherside to spur you on, to make you
(09:56):
so uncomfortable that you havealmost no choice. Choice but to
grow to where sitting in thatsame position, in that same
place, living in that same wayor doing those same habits
becomes so uncomfortable that itis much more safe to get the
(10:16):
heck out of there and take careof yourself or whatever it is
you need to take care of them,to stay in that complacent or
often unhealthy situation. Sothey can be doing that from the
other side, they can be doingthat from this side. The other
thing to know is, even if youthink someone is a twin flame
for you, right, say you'rethinking in your mind, oh, do I
have someone in my life likethat, that we're continuously,
(10:39):
almost like magnetically drawnback together, and then it's
very unhealthy and explosive.
And, you know, like in thatmovie hit Hitchcock were almost
like thrust apart, right? Itdoesn't mean that you have to
stay in that kind ofrelationship. It doesn't mean
that you can't completelyexclude them from your life.
You'll see them again later onthe other side. Don't worry
about it, but that's the natureof a twin flame relationship. It
(11:01):
is sort of like that coach thatcracks the whip, or that
teacher, that helper that putsyou in uncomfortable positions
or situations for your owngrowth, and it is why most often
we're not incarnated at the sametime, right? So don't get it
twisted. Don't be out theretrying to look for your twin
(11:23):
flame. If you have one that isincarnated in this lifetime with
you, don't worry. They'll showup, and you probably, within
short order, within a coupleyears, will be begging for them
to leave your your site again.
That's often how it is. So twinflames are really powerful, deep
(11:45):
relationships, but they'rethey're most often really
uncomfortable if you'reincarnated at the same time. So
they're not these warm andfuzzy, fluffy relationships.
Their whole point, the purposeof them, the intention of them,
is to help us grow. And if youthink about this little metaphor
that I'm going to give you, itmight be cliche, but, you know,
(12:06):
diamonds grow under incrediblepressure, incredible conditions,
is what turns carbon intodiamond. So it's not different
with us. Our nature is to wantto flow in the lazy river and
let things be easy, right? It'sour human nature. We want things
to settle down. We want it to beeasy. We want to be abundant. We
(12:26):
don't want to put ourselvesthrough the fire, right? It's
uncomfortable to be in toughsituations, uncomfortable to do
sometimes the hard work onourself. It's vulnerable,
sometimes to put ourselves inthe position to grow in the way
that we need to and so, becausewe come from a place of infinite
wisdom and love and support,we've set up these things for
(12:49):
ourselves to help us beencouraged. I want to say
forced, but I mean, we stillhave free will. You could choose
to not grow at all if you wantedto, but to be encouraged,
sometimes in uncomfortable ways,to grow, to expand and to
express more and more of yoursoul's full potential in the
lifetime, right? So that is whata twin flame, essentially, is.
(13:14):
More often than not, you are notgoing to be incarnated in the
same lifetime. It's a bitunusual, but like I said, if you
are incarnated in the samelifetime as your twin flame,
don't expect it to be acomfortable relationship. It's
usually a very painfulrelationship, but often we grow
a lot from it, and most often,we end up completely cutting off
(13:36):
contact with that person at sometime in our life, and often
indefinitely. So not alwaysthere. There could be a chance
you could continue to do thatmagnetic push, pull, loop back
around, have completely toxic orunhealthy or difficult
situations experiences with thatperson, and then explode apart
again. You can continue thatcycle, if you choose. But a lot
(14:00):
of times. If that's the cyclethat they're in with you,
they're there, you're there, andthey're there, both helping each
other to break those cycles andmove in healthier directions. So
keep that in mind. So that in anutshell, is the twin flame. Now
let's hop over to soul mates,because this is where I think it
can get super confusing. Sothere is something sometimes
(14:23):
it's called the red thread.
Sometimes it's called thesplitting of souls. I, for me, I
feel like a lot of these arelike marketing ploys, to be
honest. But what some peoplebelieve is that the the soul
mate is like the other half ofyour soul, or two souls that
(14:44):
were tied together at thebeginning of life. That's that
red thread thing. And then eachof you has this invisible red
thread of love or of connectionof power between you and your.
Lot in life is to search theworld over to find this one
missing half of you for the restof your life. That is kind of,
(15:07):
in a traditional sense, whatsoul mate means. But it's just
not how I understand it. That'snot what I actually think it
even is. I just think it's ait's a romantic notion that
people describe it or talk aboutit in that way. For me, I feel
like that just feels, I don'tknow, a little unrealistic, like
(15:30):
what our soul would set up forus, that we just have to, like
journey around to find this oneperson, like, what if they're
born on the complete other sideof the world from you, and
there's very slim chance thatyou would actually ever come
into contact with them, andthere's only just this one
person that you are supposed toseek out and find. So that's a B
(15:56):
for me. Anyway, I really feellike that's a misconception. I
don't believe that it is thisone perfect romantic partner
that is the other half of oursoul that we are destined to
Pine after and search forforever. I just don't believe
that that is the truth of whatit is. It just seems kind of
cruel and totally illogical. Butif that's the version of it that
(16:21):
you like, you're free to hang onto it. We've all got free will
choices. I'm just offering youanother way of thinking about
it, and the way that Iunderstand it, so the way I
understand soulmate, again, notdissimilar to twin flames when
I'm talking about theIncarnation in our bodies,
soulmate doesn't have to be aromantic partner. We can
(16:43):
experience soul materelationships many times in our
lives. We can experience it oncein our life, we can. I can't
speak for everybody, so I don'tknow if there's some people that
never experience it, but I findthat kind of hard to believe. So
what a soul mate relationship isis a deep connection that
transcends all of our humanchallenges. It's this very
(17:08):
special deep connection. But itdoesn't necessarily have to be a
romantic connection, like I wassaying. We have this romantic
notion, again, from movies andmarketing, about soul mate being
just that one perfect person foryou. Now, if you've ever been in
a relationship with any personof any kind, any relationship,
(17:29):
you know that relationships arework, that there is no perfect
person out there, because we areall imperfect. It's part of our
human condition. Is thisimperfection? So if you are
waiting for the perfect otherhalf of your soul to show up and
rescue you. You're in trouble,because this is never going to
happen. And I thought about thatfor a long time in my younger
(17:52):
life. I you know, there was atime where I thought like, Okay,
this is what's true. What I knowto be true now is that soul
mates can show up in any of therelationships in our lives. So
for me, she doesn't know. I'mgonna out her about this, but my
best friend is my soul mate.
We've been friends for more than25 years, and there is this
connection between us thattranscends all the muddiness of
(18:14):
life. It's a soul connection.
It's a soul to soul connection.
So we choose to stay incommunication with each other.
We choose to work on ourrelationship. We choose to have
this communication right work onit. I don't believe that there's
(18:36):
just, like I said, some perfectperson that shows up that you
never have to work on it, andoften, like we're sold this idea
that, Oh, when you have yoursoulmate, it's not going to be
work. So if you're having towork too hard, that means that
that's not your soulmate. That'snot true. We're all human. We
all were raised from humanchildren and had all of these
(18:57):
different experiences, oftentraumas, challenges, things that
went on in our family, thingsthat happened to us over time.
No person is perfect. No persondoesn't have emotions that they
get to continue to work on. Weall have that just a part as a
part of us, we need to continueto work on our communication
(19:18):
skills, on our tough emotions,on sharing, our emotions, on all
the parts of engaging withanother person, whether it's in
a romantic relationship or anyother relationship, true
relationships, if you want tostay in a real relationship with
someone, takes work. It takesattention. It's like tending a
(19:38):
garden, you're not going to justnot water, not weed, not control
sunlight, or at least payattention, not even look at the
garden and expect it to continueto produce the most beautiful
fruit and be self maintaining.
That's not real. It's the samewith a relationship. We need to
tend it. We need to beresponsible for our actions. Our
(20:00):
words, we need to come usually,with compassion. We need to see
them for who they are, not justwho we want them to be. There's
a lot of elements that go intoany relationship. A soulmate
relationship is just a differentlevel of connection. Now, it
could indicate that our soulsalready know each other from
before, but I believe that a lotof people in our close circle,
(20:23):
our souls know from the otherside already. You might have
heard of something called soulgroups, or soul families, which
is the idea that several people,several souls, often incarnate
at the same time, sometimes inthe same families, and play
different roles. So I might bethe mom this time and the next
(20:43):
time I might be the dad or thelittle brother or the uncle or
the niece. So we play differentroles, different incarnations,
based on what we what our soulwants to experience that
lifetime. Now, Soul Mates cancome as romantic partners,
certainly, but they can alsocome, like I told you, with me
as my best friend. They can comeas parent child relationship.
(21:07):
They can come in any of therelationships in our life. It
could be siblings that our soulmates. Sometimes we see this
with like twins, for example,where there's a just such a
close relationship thattranscends the difficulties of
human life. It's a special soulto soul bond, or connection. But
(21:27):
that's where it gets muddy,because people assume that
because it's this beautiful soulbond, soul connection, that it
means that A, it's going to beromantic, and B, it's going to
be easy, and neither of those istrue 100% of the time. Yeah,
there might be times where it'sjust easier, or you just get
each other, or you just can feelcompassion for them, or you just
(21:51):
really see them for the truth ofwho they are, and that's
beautiful, but it's certainlynot always that way. They're
going to annoy you, they'regoing to have bad breath
sometimes, you know what I mean,like we're all we're all just in
this human experience. So if youare waiting for a soul mate who
is perfect that doesn't exist,and I hate to break this to you
like I hate to be the one totell you this, but you're not
(22:13):
perfect either. I am very farfrom perfect, and I'm reminded
of it all the time. Not that Iever thought it, but so not
expecting this soulmate personto be perfect, and not putting
all of the relationships in yourlife on hold because you waiting
for some imaginary perfectpartner, true partnership of any
(22:37):
kind, true lasting relationshipof any kind takes work, and
that's just the bottom line.
Because we grow and evolve andchange as people. We have
different thoughts and differentunderstandings and different
needs at different times in ourlife, and yes, there might be
this deep, special connectionwhere you can continue to ebb
and flow with someone. You bothcontinue to agree to be in each
(22:58):
other's lives, to be tending tothat garden of your relationship
with where you're both puttingin time and effort. You're both
expressing your emotionshonestly and openly. There's a
vulnerability that we have tobring for a deep connection like
this. It's not going to be acursory relationship in your
life, meaning it's, you know,sometimes people say like, oh,
(23:21):
I'm worried that I missed mysoulmate relationship. You
won't, don't worry. It's notgoing to be just someone that
you used to pass in the officethat there really was no
connection between you. Oftenit, it's a special connection,
but sometimes we don't recognizeit right away, right? So think
about those relationships inyour life that are those deep
soul to soul connections, thoseare probably more in alignment
(23:45):
with your soul materelationships. And that's
bringing me to the next point onthis. And what I want to say is
that you don't just have onesoul mate. I mean, can you
imagine having to look the wholeworld over for one person, and I
feel like we'd be missing eachother all the time, like, you
know, I might go to the otherside of the world looking for
(24:05):
them, and maybe they're offtraveling looking for me, you
know, it'd be really justunlikely odds to ever meet that
person. So it really can be morethan one person in your life
too. We're not limited to justonly one soul mate relationship.
We can have several of them.
(24:29):
It just means that our soulshave a friendship, a love, a
connection. We know each otheralready from the other side, and
that can be true in lots of ourrelationships. Like I said, I do
believe in soul families andsoul groups, and that's not to
say that you have to reincarnateevery time your soul group
reincarnates. I believe we havea choice. Maybe sometimes you
(24:50):
stay back as a guide, maybesometimes you come in with the
family and just play a differentrole, and that's your role for
this lifetime. But I don't.
Think those are mutuallyexclusive of each other. I think
you can have your family group asoulmate. Might be a member of
your family group, or they mightnot. They might just be a friend
in this lifetime. They might bea lover. They might be someone
(25:12):
you knew a long time ago. Theymight be someone you haven't met
yet. They might be someone thatyou only get a short amount of
years with because, you know,something happens, maybe they
pass away, or maybe life justtakes you guys in different
directions, but the connectionis real and deep, and you guys
really see each other. This kindof probably be so dorky, so
(25:35):
apologize in advance. But thething I keep thinking of is in
that movie Avatar, you know whenshe's talking to him and and the
way that they say it in thattribe is, I see you. I see you.
And that reminds me the most ofwhat the soul mate relationship
feels like, because it's thatperson that's really, truly sees
you as a soul, more than justyour human self, and is willing
(26:01):
to continue to stay in it and bethere and work with you through
it, and you both choose to be inrelationship. But that's true of
any relationship. It's a choicethe relationships we choose to
continue in our lives to foster.
There's choice involved. It'sit's an active choice to put
(26:23):
effort into those most importantrelationships, right? So one of
the things I am encouraging youto do today is not worry so much
about who's your twin flame andwho's your soul mate, and are
you going to find your soulmate? Who do you choose to have
in your life, who resonates withyou. I feel like you know
(26:45):
sometimes, from time to time,there are people in our lives
who we no longer want to be inrelationship with. Maybe we just
don't see eye to eye anymore.
Maybe one of us has grown andthe other one hasn't, and it's
just not gonna fly anymore.
There's a lot of reasons to exita relationship with someone, and
it doesn't make them any less asoulmate, necessarily. I just
(27:09):
really feel like we get too hungup on chasing soulmates or
chasing twin flames, and Iespecially think it's kind of
funny sometimes because peopledon't realize what a twin flame
is. I really feel like if morepeople knew what it was, they
would chase it, because it's notpleasant. So do you have a
soulmate out there? Absolutely,do you have more than one? I
(27:32):
believe we all have many soulmates out there, and I believe
there are also other people whoare not necessarily our quote,
unquote soulmates, that we canhave really thriving, beautiful,
cultivated relationships withthat are deep and supportive and
that we nurture and tend to likea garden that aren't necessarily
(27:56):
a soulmate, and that's Beautifultoo. So I hope this has helped
you understand a little bitabout the difference between the
soulmate relationship and thetwin flame relationship, what
they are what they're not. Butmore than that, I hope it's
really given you permission notto be like so hung up on those
(28:16):
relationships and not that younecessarily are right, because
we're all different, but reallyjust hoping that you'll have
more permission to just payattention to the relationships
that you are in andintentionally gardening right,
cultivating, nurturing, puttingthe work in, the Time in for the
(28:40):
people that you want to fosterthose relationships in this
lifetime with, because that'swhat's important. What if you
have a soulmate and you don'tever meet them, right? If we
have several soulmates, theremight be some that you don't get
to come in contact with in thislifetime, but that doesn't mean
your experience has to be anyless rich or fulfilling. I just
(29:02):
want to invite you to releasethat idea of needing to hold on
for just that one perfect personthat doesn't exist and not be
living your life, enjoyingyourself and remember soulmates
can come in any relationship inour life. So it's not only
limited to romantic partners,and sometimes, you know, we have
(29:27):
relationships that are soulmates that are not romantic
partners. Maybe those workbetter even because they don't
have that romantic charge. Dosoul mates exist as romantic
partners? Sure, of course, theydo, but they exist in lots of
other relationships too, andmaybe you can identify one of
those in your own life, like Ihave with my bestie. Or maybe
(29:49):
you feel like I haven'texperienced that deep and
profound of a soul connectionyet, and that's okay too. It
doesn't mean that it's not stillto come for you. Um. Just being
available for and open to it,but not demanding of it, or not
needing it as a requirement, Ifeel like is the best way to
make it happen. If it's gonnahappen for you. What if you have
(30:13):
soulmates out there, right inyour world right now that you
haven't met yet because you'renot putting yourself out there?
Maybe they are a friend. Maybeit's not a romantic partner
that's going to be your soulmatein that way. Maybe it's a
friend. But if you're not opento making friends and meeting
people and, you know, nurturingand fostering new relationships,
(30:35):
then you're not going to findthem. You're making that true
for yourself. I do believe thatwe're here to experience, like I
said, the full spectrum of humanemotions, which includes deep
and profound love. But that canshow up in so many ways, and it
is one of the biggest mistakes Isee with clients when it comes
(30:56):
to relationships, is thatsometimes people can get so hung
up on these ideas of perfectpartner or perfect relationship,
or the relationship where itjust isn't so much work, or
whatever version of that, youknow, whatever words you have
that you want to plug in there,but really we're missing out on
so much of the experience if wedo that. Soul Mates can come in
(31:19):
all forms, in any gender, in anyrelationship, at any time in our
life. So just be available forit really is the best guidance.
Just be available for it, andtreasure and cherish the
relationships that you do have,that you do want to nurture and
(31:40):
foster, because it is thosepeople that feed us and sustain
us emotionally, spiritually, thepeople that really help us see
ourselves when we are often, youknow, at our lowest point, or
when we just Can't see the truthof who we are as divine,
(32:03):
creative, Soul beings.
At any point, this relationshipcan come to you, if you don't
already have a soulmaterelationship in your life. I
wish it for each and every oneof us, and I think it's
available to each and every oneof us, because, like I said, I
believe we're here to experienceall the emotions, not just a few
(32:23):
of them. So if you don't feellike you've experienced that
deep connection with anothersoul, yet while you're still
here and there's still time forit, so I put it back to you, are
you putting yourself out there?
Are you making new friends? Areyou putting yourself in a place
where you want to be deeplyconnected to the people there.
Maybe it's because you have acommon interest. Maybe it's
(32:44):
because we're geographicallydesirable to be in friendship,
but really just fostering,nurturing those relationships
that sustain you and thatnurture you, because that is the
true nature of a soulmaterelationship is to see each
other when you're at yourroughest. You know everyone's
(33:05):
great on their good days, butwhat about on the tough days?
What about on those days whenyou need someone to stand on
firm ground because you feellike you're sinking and rather
than getting in the mud with youand making a muddy mess of the
both of you. You need someonewho can stand on firm ground,
who can see you, and who canextend a hand and let you climb
(33:26):
yourself out of that mud. That'swhat a soulmate relationship
does for you. But it's work.
It's effort. It is tending theproverbial relationship garden
just like anything else. So letme know if you agree or disagree
with my share. Hopefully you'llagree, and hopefully it makes
(33:47):
sense to you. I just thinkthat's you know, used against us
in marketing and movies so much,and these terms have become so
confused for people, and oftenpeople have themselves tied up
in knots or really distraught orupset because they feel like
they don't have a soulmate, orthey don't have a twin flame,
and not really understandingwhat these are, and probably
(34:11):
overlooking a soulmateconnection that they already
have, because some part of ourhumanness wants it to be
romantic, and It's not right. Soagain, it can show up in any
relationship in your life. Couldbe friendship or mentorship or
parent child or siblings orromantic, or any of the other
(34:34):
ways, any of the versions ofrelationship. I know someone
whose grandparent was one oftheir soul mates, which is also
pretty incredible. So I've seenit in all the different
relationships. Let me know ifyou've experienced a soul mate
connection yet, or if you'reeven available for one. Maybe
you know, through some of this,you're realizing, Oh, wait, I am
(34:55):
kind of closed off. I'm notreally putting myself out there
to make new friends. I'm notfostering relationships with
people who inspire me. That'sreally the thing to do. If
that's not what you're doing,that's how you're going to be
able to step into theserelationships. It won't be every
relationship. We're lucky if wehave one or two that cross our
(35:18):
paths in this way, but they'reavailable to you, whether you've
experienced them already orhaven't at all yet. Just know
that soul mates are available toyou. It just might look a little
different than what they toldyou. So hopefully this has been
giving you some food forthought. It may have shaken you
(35:38):
up a little bit or made youthink about things in a
different way, but just knowthat I'm here and we're going to
continue these talks again. Letme know if there's any other
questions you have, any topicsyou're wanting to hear about,
and I am more than happy to talkon whatever it is you guys want
to know about that I know, orfind a guest for us who knows
(35:59):
about it that can share with us.
So let me know how this topicresonated with you. And if you
are enjoying this podcast, Ihope that you will subscribe and
like and even share if you want,if you figure out how to leave
the comments, please do that.
That always helps. And if youwant to save it and listen more
(36:21):
than once. That's wonderful too,but important to share with
anyone you know who is a littlebummed out about their
relationship zone, or who youhear complaining about soul
mates or twin flames or evenwondering about them, this might
be the bright episode to sharewith them. So thanks for being
here with me. I hope this hasbeen informative and valuable
(36:42):
and maybe even a littleinspiring to you. Thanks for
spending this time with me. Itis always an honor and a
privilege for me. And big hugs.
Lots of love. Bye for now. Frominside the spirit speakeasy,
you.
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