Squad Car 22 - Trailer/ Mini-Episode - Take out Tony

Wondering if Squad Car 22 is better than gum-flavored popsicles? Then listen to this trailer/ mini-episode and decide for yourself. Squad Car 22 is a sci-fi, comedy, audio-drama available for free. This episode stars Nathan Feuerberg and Martin James Grapengeter with narration by Lady Zen.

Listen to other audio dramas by Deep Drag at deepdrag.com

Episode Transcript

(00:11):
[Holloway] Hmm, Mario's Pizzeria, I don'trecall that being there.
I wonder if they do tiramisu.
[Holloway] Anybody home?

(00:33):
[Campari] [Laughs][Holloway] Are you are you open?
[Campari] Who's a askin'?
[Holloway] Me, Officer Holloway.
[Campari] [Laughs][Holloway] Hey, hold up.
Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?
Are you a Campari bottle that can speak?
[Campari] That's a right.
You got a problem with that?

(00:54):
[Holloway] Can you sell me a piece of tiramisu?
[Campari] I don't see why not.
We're open for business, if you know whatI mean.
[Holloway] Well, I guess I'm cool with itthen.
[Campari] But come on, tiramisu is for softies.
How about I get you something with a littlemore forte.

(01:15):
Something a little more hardcore.
[Lasagna] Hardcore!
[Holloway] Wait, who else is in here?
[Campari] Oh, that's just Lasagna.
Don't worry about him.
[Holloway] Hmm.
[Campari] What if I were to tell you I hadsome vitello al parmigiano?

(01:35):
[Holloway] Is that Italian for veal parmesan.
[Campari] That's a right.
[Holloway] Man back when I was a kid I usedto love parmesan hoagies.
But these days you can't even talk about babycows on a bun.
[Campari] Oh yeah. [Laughs] Vitello so silky and smoothon the tongue.

(01:58):
Not rough like the beef.
[Holloway] I don't know.
If anyone at the precinct found out, I neverhear the end of it.
[Campari] Do we look like the type to go aroundrunning our mouths?
[Holloway] You look like the types who wouldn'tmind clubbing a baby seal.
[Campari] We're a nice guys.
We're, how do you say, Goodfellas.

(02:22):
[Holloway] Well I didn't mean to...
[Campari] Look, look, if that's what yourinto I guess we could arrange it.
[Holloway] No, no, I'm fine with with a parmesansandwich and a piece of tiramisu.
[Campari] Well, for an extra twenty dollars,we'll bring in a baby veal and give it you
a mallet to bludgeon it with.

(02:44):
[Holloway] Thanks but I'm the type of guywho likes his dinner prepackaged in plastic
wrap.
[Campari] You don't have to lie.
We're all friends here.
[Holloway] No, really I can't even crack openraw oysters.
[Campari] Oh come on, there's nothing likepounding the head of a little, baby, vitello

(03:05):
with a big shiny hammer.
It's an exquisite experience
[Lasagna] Exquisite!
[Holloway] Hmm, maybe it's better if I justleave.
[Campari] Just hold on.
Hey!
Tony!
Come in here!
[Tony] [Tony runs in. The bell around his neck rings.]

(03:25):
[Campari] This is Tony.
Only six weeks old.
Tony turn around.
Let the nice copper have a look at you.
[Tony] [Tony runs around, bell ringing.]
[Campari] That's a good vitello.
Now roll over.
[Tony] [Tony moos][Campari] Come on Tony.
Roll over for the policeman.

(03:46):
[Holloway] Okay guys, I'm just gonna takea tiramisu and go.
[Campari] Are we going to have a problem?
[Holloway] No, no, it's just like I said.
You know, I appreciate a distance betweenme and my meals.
[Tony] [Tony moos][Campari] Shut up and pick up the mallet!
[Lasagna] Pick it up!
[Holloway] Okay, okay!
[Campari] Now give Tony a good whop on hissoft, little, head.

(04:11):
[Holloway] I really don't...
[Campari] Shut up and do it already!
[Tony] [Tony moos excitedly]
[Campari] Take out Tony.
Take out Tony.
Take out Tony.
[Holloway] Sorry, Tony...
[Tony] [Tony moos][Music Crescendos]
[Narrator] Squad car 22 is a sci-fi, comedy,audio-drama.

(04:35):
Listened to the first season for free on Spotify,iTunes, Podcast Addict, YouTube, and any other
podcast app.
Squad Car 22 is part of the deep drag podcastfamily.
[Campari] Look at the shiny watch moving backand forth in front of your eyes.

(04:59):
You will forget you ever met a talking Lasagnaand Campari bottle.
[Holloway] Are you trying to hypnotize me?
[Campari] Yes.
Is it working?