Ep.21 | Is Your Pain Self-Inflicted?

No one likes to admit the possibility they might create the majority of their own problems or that they are the source of their own pain. Even considering the idea is slightly embarrassing. Or shameful.

But is it true?

I hate to be the one to tell you, but it’s true. Most of our pain is self-inflicted.

Deliberately? Not usually. Inadvertently? Most likely.

Until we even ponder that possibility, we'll continue to suffer unnecessarily in areas completely within our control. This is true for both our internal and external battles. And it's especially true for our relational challenges and well-being.

Our personal struggles—private and public—are more solvable than we can imagine when we learn to recognize the signs of emotional self-harm. In this episode, Timothy Eldred unpacks three easily-remedied, self-harm behaviors that can improve your life once you learn to recognize the signs. They might be easier to change than you think.

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SHOW NOTES

During the episode, Tim addresses some self-harm behaviors. Here's a list of the three he mentions and a few more to consider for your life:

• Pretending
• Sharing with people who can't support you*
• Not asking for what you need*
• Judging yourself harshly
• Being inauthentic
• Thinking negatively about yourself
• Preoccupying yourself with other people's lives
• Expecting things to be perfect
• Allowing fear to stop you
• Choosing to remain silent
• Complaining without changing what you can control*

If you have thoughts or questions about any of these behaviors, please send an email to: [e-mail].  We may address them in a future episode for everyone's benefit. Your voice matters, and we always appreciate hearing from you.

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Here are additional resources you may want to read for insight into this issue:

• https://myonlinetherapy.com/emotional-self-harm/
• https://themighty.com/topic/self-harm/types-of-self-harm
• https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2020/6/can-self-harm-be-emotional
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/201908/emotional-self-harm-people-pleasing-can-ruin-your-happiness

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