September 18, 2025 • 53 mins
What if the secret to exceptional leadership isn't about having all the answers, but about making others feel truly seen and heard? In this vibrant conversation with Neen James, the self-described "velvet bulldozer" shares her remarkable journey from growing up in a caravan in Australia to becoming an internationally sought-after executive coach and speaker.
Standing at just 4'10" and almost always dressed in her signature hot pink, Neen brings extraordinary energy to every room she enters. But her true superpower lies in what she calls "contagious confidence" – walking into any space with the assumption that everyone wants to engage with her. This mindset has propelled her through a successful corporate career and into her current role advising CEOs and leadership teams around the world.
The conversation takes a fascinating turn when Neen challenges our conventional understanding of luxury. Growing up with a single mother who worked multiple jobs, she learned that luxury isn't about expensive possessions but about finding beauty in everyday moments – what she now calls "champagne moments." This philosophy forms the foundation of her new book, "Exceptional Experiences: Five Luxury Levers to Elevate Every Aspect of Your Business," which includes the first-ever research study on luxury as a mindset.
Throughout the episode, Neen shares practical wisdom on building networks from scratch, managing attention rather than time, embracing adventure in daily life, and extending grace to yourself and others. Her insights on how different people make decisions (thinkers, feelers, and knowers) offer a fresh perspective on communication and leadership styles.
Whether you're leading a Fortune 500 company, building your own business, or simply seeking to create more meaningful connections, Neen's message is clear: we all have a responsibility to make the people we encounter feel valued. Take her challenge to find and share your own #ChampagneMoments, and discover how small shifts in attention can transform both your professional success and personal fulfillment.
Music "STOMP" used by permission of artist Donica Knight Holdman and Jim Huff
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm walking all alone down my yellow brick road and I
stomp to the beat of my owndrum.
I got my pockets full of dreamsand they're busting at the
seams, going boom, boom boom.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Welcome to Stacked Keys Podcast.
I'm your host, amy Stackhouse.
This is a podcast to featurewomen who are impressive in the
work world or in raising afamily, or who have hobbies that
make us all feel encouraged.
Want to hear what makes thesewomen passionate to get up in
the morning, or what maybe theywish they'd known a little bit
(00:42):
earlier in their lives.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Grab your keys and stomp to your own drum.
Whatever you do, it ain'tnothing on me, because I'm doing
my thing and I hold the key toall my wants and all my dreams
like an old song.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
well, I am super excited today have a guest that
I know is going to sparkeverybody's creativity and
desire to go.
She is just absolutely gorgeous, is wearing her signature pink,
and so I'm sure we'll talkabout that.
But, neen, james, I am soexcited to have you today.
(01:42):
Welcome.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
What a privilege, Amy , to serve your listeners today.
I cannot believe we're finallydoing this after being connected
on Instagram for so long.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
That is fabulous, and so, right out of the gate, I
want to start out with Neen.
How do people know you, bothpersonally and professionally?
Speaker 3 (02:01):
So all the meeting planners that hire me to keynote
their events, they all call methe energizer bunny, and while
you're listening to this and youcan't see, I am four foot ten
and a half, which that halfmakes a big difference, amy.
I am frequently almost alwaysin hot pink, which has become
part of my signature, which wasnot deliberate, amy, it's just
(02:22):
part of what happened andbecause I'm paid to bring energy
to the audiences that I standin serve of.
So, whether I am the executivecoach for a CEO and their team,
or whether I am keynoting anevent, that energy is definitely
what I'm most known for.
And so, while I might be littlefor those of you listening and
trying to work out this crazyaccent, I hail from Sydney,
(02:44):
australia, but I now live inTampa, florida, and so I am a
proud Australian and a proudAmerican citizen as well.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Well, that's exciting .
Well, what brought you toAmerica?
Were you a teenager?
Were you an adult?
Speaker 3 (03:01):
I know, I sound like I'm five, but we have lived here
for over 20 years, amy, and somy husband was offered an
opportunity here and we couldboth work here, and so I closed
my company in Australia and Istarted from scratch, and I knew
nobody but my realtor, amy.
When we moved, we moved fromSydney City to Doylestown,
(03:24):
pennsylvania, and I don't knowif any of your listeners know
where that even is, but it ishalfway between Philly and New
York.
It is perfect suburbia.
There are 2.4 children to everyhouse, there's trucks and
minivans on everyone's driveway.
People even mowed their lawns acertain way, amy.
I'd never seen stripes in alawn, because I lived in Sydney
City in an apartment, so I'dnever seen anything like it.
(03:47):
We were the only childless,dogless couple in the entire
neighborhood, amy.
But I loved it, and you know,the first thing I did because I
knew nobody was I pulled out asuit from my suitcase suit from
my suitcase.
I tried to like steam it and Igoogled women's networks plus
(04:09):
Doylestown.
That was my Google search,right, and there was one in this
tiny little place.
I got in my car.
I arrived hideously earlybecause I had no idea where I
was.
I had no idea how long thingswould take.
This is before, like gps's werepart of our car.
So let's all like, cast ourminds back, ladies, to like when
you had to print out googlemaps.
(04:31):
You remember that like rightright that was me, and so when I
first moved here that's how Icreated my network.
Amy was through women, becauseI've always believed that maybe
the woman in front of you can'thelp you, but she knows 200
amazing women in her networkthat probably can.
And so what I deliberately didwas, when I moved here, while I
(04:52):
didn't know anyone, I met thatgroup of women first, and then I
thought, okay, if this personneeds this, I could connect them
to this person.
Right, and so then as soon as Imet someone, I would connect
them to someone else.
And so I had this belief thatif you really want to stand in
service of other people, you cangrow your network.
And that's how I very quicklygrew my name and my reputation
(05:15):
in the Philadelphia area andthat's how I've built my whole
business.
Amy is through referrals, but Ithink women want to help other
women and that was my experience.
It was still my experience, andso you know, some 20 years
later I have a business that Ilove that takes me all over the
globe, but it started at thatlittle women's networking group
(05:35):
in Doylestown.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
That's fabulous, and you're so proactive, so that, to
me, is a character trait, andis it one that you had to
develop, or did you have toreally push yourself in an
uncomfortable way, or is it justa natural for you?
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Most of five kids.
And I've always been thelittlest right.
So and I sometimes giggle likeyou know, underestimate me
because that'll be fun for youLike because I'm so little.
I think sure people like seethe world differently.
So while it's not a challenge,I think it's definitely an asset
.
I have always been the personwho volunteered, right.
(06:13):
I would volunteer at Sundayschool to do the reading.
I would volunteer in a team tolead a project, to provide a
presentation.
I remember when I left school Ijoined the bank.
I was the youngest bank managerthey had and like 33,000
employees because I was alwaysputting my hand up.
So I think proactivity,responsibility, accountability
(06:37):
have been key themes in my lifeand I think for people who are
listening, being able to havethis courage.
I believe in my bookExceptional Experiences I talk
about this concept calledcontagious confidence and I
think I've always had thiscontagious confidence, amy, I
walk into every room and Iassume everyone wants to play
(06:58):
with me.
I always have from a kid aswell as an adult, so I've never
met a boardroom that'sintimidated me or a ballroom of
thousands of people because Ijust make this assumption.
And so I think that confidencethat I have is contagious for
others and I think, leaders whoare listening to this.
Whether you're leading in yourchurch, your home, your temple,
your community, your boardroom,your energy is contagious your
(07:23):
confidence is contagious, and soI've always had that and, as a
result, have always found myselfin leadership positions yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Well, it's interesting because also, at the
same time, if you're theopposite of that, it's
contagious.
So you're, you're making thischoice to be a connector and a
positive and and that can reallytake you a long way.
Now you referenced a book, sojump right, actual Experiences
(07:54):
and it's coming out.
So you're doing pre-orders atthis point.
So tell me a little bit aboutthe book.
Do you define yourself as anauthor or is this a new road?
Speaker 3 (08:06):
for you?
No, I do not.
So I'm so pleased that youasked Exceptional Experiences.
The subtitle is five luxurylevers to elevate every aspect
of your business, and this bookis written for people who are
looking to drive revenue intheir business, whether they are
an entrepreneur, whether theyare a leader of a team, or for
(08:27):
many of the executives that Iwork with.
They might be the chief revenueofficer, the chief marketing
officer, the chief operatingofficer, and so this book is the
evolution of my body of work.
I wouldn't call myself an author.
Although I've contributed to 10books, four of them are just
ones that I've published, and soI have this career where, when
(08:49):
I was in my corporate life, amy,I was always the person who
could get things done.
I was the person who would leadprojects, turn around projects,
fix team members who weren'tperforming.
That was very much myreputation in my corporate
career, and so what I realizedthe through line of all that was
that I could get things done.
It was very productive, and sothe early books that I wrote
Secrets of Super Productivity,folding Time and Attention Pays.
(09:13):
What is very core to all ofthose is, I realized very young,
you can't manage time, but youcan manage your attention, and I
realized attention managementwas really key in the early
2000s, and so that's reallywhere my work started is, how
can I think about attentionmanagement?
This is before we werediagnosing an attention deficit
(09:37):
society that we have, and thisis way before cell phones became
very much an extension of ourhands.
And so when I wrote AttentionPace, for example, amy, what I
realized is the world that I wasliving in people were
overwhelmed, overstressed andovertired, and we needed a
solution for that.
That's why Attention Pace waswritten.
(09:58):
But Exceptional Experiences mylatest book, which comes out on
the 14th of October, so at thetime of recording we're in
pre-orders right now this bookwas because I've always believed
that attention is aboutconnection, and what I believe
is that, with things like whatluxury brands are brilliant at
and I work in so many luxurybrands around the world they're
(10:21):
really great at this elevatedlevel of attention.
And so I started to study allthese brands and thought what
could we all learn from all ofthese luxury brands and what
they're doing?
I've always thought, amy,luxury is a mindset.
I've always believed that, andI think luxury is about
experiences, not things.
We think of luxury as like theexpensive car or the handbag,
(10:42):
and that's not the case, like Ithink.
It's about the experience youcreate, and so what I realized
was this book is the evolution,because truly luxury is making
people foreseen and heard andvalued, and this book gives
people very specific strategies,from capturing the attention of
clients they want to work withall the way through to being
(11:06):
able to have those clientsbecome advocates for them, and
so we have this five-partframework that you can walk
through that allows you to beable to do that, so it'll help
you grow your revenue,differentiate yourself and also
make sure that people really dofeel seen and heard in your life
.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Wow, I can't imagine not wanting to read this book
and apply it.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
I cannot because you know you reference 2000.
Well, you know, here we are, somany years later and those are
the same issues.
Those are the same issues thatare in a boardroom.
They're the same issues that aCEO is dealing with trying to
find, you know, the work lifebalance and the all of these
(11:53):
attributes, but these come fromwithin.
And that luxury, you're right,it's a definition that that
might need to be revisited.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
See, I've always assumed luxury is a mindset, amy
, because my mom demonstratedthis to me.
I have very, very humblebeginnings.
When I was little, we lived ina caravan.
In America they call it atrailer park.
So I don't come from a wealthybackground.
My mom was a single mom withtwo little girls and she would
(12:23):
clean houses and she pickedfruit and she sold lettuce on
the side of the road.
Like my mom worked really,really hard.
What was interesting about mymom and she definitely inspires
my work is, at the end of areally busy shift, amy, no
matter how tired she was, shewould walk through a community
garden and she would pick aflower and she would bring it
back to our paravan and shewould put it in a glass and we
(12:46):
called it a vase because we feltfancy.
But my mom reminded me that itdidn't matter as little girls,
that we didn't have things, itwas beauty that we could bring
into our everyday.
So my mom showed me beauty andorder and how we all deserved
luxury.
And so anyone listening to thisyou deserve luxury, you are
(13:06):
worth it.
And perhaps your luxury issipping your coffee out of a
beautiful coffee mug, or maybeit's meditating for an extra
minute, or maybe it's getting upearlier so that you have a few
quiet moments before your housestarts to get together, you know
?
And so what I realized veryyoung is that luxury is a
mindset, and so when I wasexplaining this to some of my
(13:27):
corporate clients, I thoughtthere would be research to prove
this, amy, because I've alwaysbelieved this theory luxury is a
mindset.
Well, wouldn't you know?
There's not a single researchstudy on luxury as a mindset.
There's plenty of studies onhow does luxury make people feel
.
It's great.
I wanted to know how do peoplethink about luxury?
How does it affect theirconfidence, professional
(13:49):
development?
Who influences their decision?
How much do they pay on luxury?
How long does it take to make adecision about luxury?
I wanted to know everything,and because it was in our study,
I commissioned my own researchstudy.
So, amy, we have the onlyresearch study of its kind in
the world, and we even have aluxury mindset self-assessment
that all your listeners can take.
So we'll make sure you have thelink for that in the show notes
(14:11):
, but I'd encourage thelisteners.
It'll take you less than fiveminutes to discover your own
luxury mindset.
But what's really interestingabout it, amy, is once we
understand our luxury mindset,it's just an extra asset in our
leadership toolkit.
We can then decide oh, this ishow I see the world, and now you
know that there's all theseother luxury mindsets out there,
(14:34):
so we have to also be flexibleand adaptable in the way we
communicate.
So the book has the luxuryresearch study in it.
It has the link for the luxurymindset self-assessment people
can take, and then it has somany strategies that everyone
can apply to elevate theirbusiness in a multitude of ways.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Wow, I love that and I can see it being utilized in
so many different facets.
I mean it can go from theperson who truly is the leader
in the boardroom to the personwho is never even broaching the
boardroom.
So it's it kind of go whereveryou are and you can apply it in
(15:19):
whatever circumstance.
So that's fabulous.
You know, you probably, in allof your work, have heard the
word unfair.
Where you're positioned in acertain way, you're getting this
treatment, or that's justunfair.
What do you think of when youhear the word unfair?
Speaker 3 (15:38):
I think it's a choice .
So I opened up by saying I'm4'10 and a half.
I sound like I'm 5.
I was often the only chick in aboardroom.
I'm often the only chick infirst class Like.
I don't see any of that asunfair.
I see these as just uniquechallenges that I might face
right.
I don't see it as unfair thatmy mom was a single mom.
(15:59):
I just see that was just.
It is what it is.
I think things just happen andit's what you make them mean.
That really has the impact.
And so I've chosen to take thesethings about me that others
might perceive to be unfair, andespecially as a woman in
corporate and having very seniorpositions.
Yeah, I remember so many timespeople assumed I was the
(16:21):
secretary or I was there to takethe notes, when actually, in
fact, I was the person who wasrunning the meeting or I was the
person who was the speaker.
So I think one of the thingsthat happens with unfair, or
people's perception of unfair,it's how you react to it.
So I would love to extend graceto everybody.
So, even though I've beenmistaken for a completely
(16:42):
different role to what I had, Iwill always extend grace to that
person because maybe in theirworld they don't know
differently.
I think what's amazing aboutwomen particularly is they take
these perceived unfairness, amy,and they turn them around.
Women are resilient, they aretenacious.
They are the people who can getthings done.
(17:02):
I just know that because I'msurrounded by them.
My mom was a great example ofthat.
My girlfriends are leaders thatI get to coach, so I'm not sure
if I fully believe in thingsbeing unfair.
I believe that people see theworld through their lens, and
we're living in a very dividedworld right now, on a global
level as well as at a domesticlevel, and we could all sit
(17:26):
around and say things are unfairor we could choose to do
something about it.
I choose to do something aboutit.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Well, you know you talked about.
You made reference to yourladyship toolkit.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
Leadership toolkit yes.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Okay, all right, so leadership.
Okay, I didn't catch the accent, it's a silly accent, but
leadership works as well.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
I like it both actually.
Yes, it's the leadershiptoolkit.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
That's funny.
Okay, well, tell me about thatleadership toolkit.
I mean, here you are collectingthings as you go along to put
in this toolkit.
So is this a concept that youdecided early on when you were
working in the corporate worldof, hey, I need to have these
tools, abilities or views orsomething in my toolkit.
(18:20):
How did you start to think thatway?
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Because I was often the only chick.
So I was.
And look, look at theindustries I chose to work in.
I was working in retail,banking, telecommunications and
the oil industry.
So there's a lot of seniorchicks in oil, right?
So understand that.
The career choices I made veryyoung, I was very young.
The career choices I made veryyoung, I was very young and I
was very tenacious.
And so what I realized is Iwould watch what other people
(18:46):
did.
What I learned very young, veryquickly, whether it was Sunday
school or whether it was in highschool that if you had the
courage to stand up and speak,you would be able to help others
.
You could summarize things.
Most people don't enjoy any formof public speaking, whereas
I've always loved it.
And so I realized in myleadership toolkit okay, that's
(19:09):
something I need to get betterat.
So I focused on that.
I also watched in my corporatecareer that the people who could
get things done got promoted.
So I understood that thatequaled productivity.
So if I could establish my ownset of productivity tools, which
I did I would be the person whocould get things done that got
recognized.
So if you think about thecombination of productivity and
(19:30):
presentation skills and I have apresence about me.
Like I said, I walk into everyroom.
I have always assumed peoplewant to play with me, that they
want to help me, and that I canalways stand in service of
whoever I'm talking to.
So if you think of thatcombination of productivity,
presentation and presence, theseare three things that not only
am I known for, but it's alsowhat I coach a lot of senior
(19:53):
leaders on as well, and many ofthe CEOs that I work with,
whether they are the Fortune 500company CEOs or whether they
are medium or entrepreneurialbusinesses.
Often things fall into thosecategories, and I also realized
that your leadership toolkitmust have strong communication
skills.
That means your writtencommunications, your verbal
(20:15):
communications, your physicalityis another form of
communication, and if you'relistening to this and you're
like, well, it sounds all goodand fine for you.
Little Miss Perky, you knowextrovert.
Some of the best communicatorsI know are introverts.
So I don't want people to think, as they're listening to this,
that you have to be the outgoingperson, the big personality.
(20:37):
You don't have to be theloudest person in the room or
the most social person.
I believe that if you have asense of being able to have
integrity, to get things done,if you know how to communicate
in a way that people will listenand if you think about your own
presence.
Some of the best people, someof the most successful
professional speakers that I'veever met, some of the leaders
(20:58):
that I know that are exceptionalthe introverts.
So please don't think this isan extrovert strategy.
It's both.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Yeah, I can see that and a lot of times, leaders, you
might be in that boardroom withthat one who says nothing but
when?
Speaker 3 (21:16):
they do people really listen, because they have
commanded it in such a way thatit's like, okay, shh everybody,
because they command thatpresence right, and so I think
one of the things that we needto be more conscious of as
leaders and I use the wordleader for everyone who's
listening to a podcast, becauseif you are investing in
professional development bylistening to Amy's podcast, you
(21:36):
are a leader.
I don't care what's on yourbusiness card, I don't care if
you have a business card, butthe very fact that we all have a
presence.
But we get to choose how weshow up in the world.
We get to choose how we extendgrace to other people.
We get to choose about how wecan be more exceptional as
leaders in our community, in thepeople that we serve, and so
(21:57):
one of the things I want tochallenge people to think about
is I have this concept in thebook Amy called champagne
moments.
I am known for my love ofchampagne.
There is a muesli on the frontcover of the book.
For those of you listening, themuesli is just a fancy French
word for that wire cage thatholds the cork into the bottle
right.
And so I think one of thethings that we could look for is
(22:18):
these champagne moments everyday, and a champagne moment is
something that makes you smile,something that brings you joy.
So that is something as leaders, if we see the world through
this concept of what's mychampagne moment today and can I
give someone a champagne moment.
Sometimes that's just usingsomeone's name when you order
your coffee with your barista,or letting someone go ahead of
(22:39):
you in traffic or opening thedoor, or maybe it's some of the
things we talked about before,like enjoying your coffee cup or
maybe putting sparkling waterin a champagne glass so you can
feel like you're celebrating.
Whatever it looks like.
It's about taking those momentseach day.
As part of the book, I'mencouraging listeners and
readers to take a photo of yourchampagne moment, post it on
(23:03):
social media and then tag me,neen James, and then use the
hashtag champagne moments,because I think this is a fun
way for us to say this is what'sreally special for me today,
and I better bring joy tosomeone else.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
I love this and it has to set the mindset in a
positive way.
I mean both looking for thosemoments and then creating those
moments and then sharing thosemoments.
So you're kind of getting acomplete assignment.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
Yeah, exactly, and I'll reshare it.
If you tag me and I see it, Iwould love to share it on my
social platforms for you.
So please hashtag ChampagneMoments and make sure you tag me
, mean James.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Yeah, I like that.
So it seems like everything isjust easy for you.
That's amazing.
So are there boulders that youjust keep smashing up against at
times and just things that youhave to just either go around
(24:06):
over or sit and look at?
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Yeah, I think everyone does, Amy, but I also
think that it is relative.
I call those champagne problemsright.
So I think we all havechampagne problems of our own
and they are very relative toeach person who's listening
right.
So I think we all havechampagne problems of our own
and they are very relative toeach person who's listening
right.
I feel very fortunate.
I have a wonderful life andcareer and business, and I'm
(24:31):
surrounded by friends and family.
I choose to live on the otherside of the world from my family
.
It's just my husband and I here, and so I've had to create
family.
So family, I think, are thefriends that you choose for
yourself, which I think is avery popular fridge magnet I've
seen somewhere.
And so, while I think we allhave boulders of our own, it's
(24:51):
how we decide to deal with them,it's what we make them mean.
That has the impact.
For me, boulders are just to besmashed.
But I also believe that you canfind your way around things.
When I was in my corporatecareer, I remember, when I was
in the oil industry, my bossPhil.
He said everybody here callsyou the velvet bulldozer.
I didn't know if that was acompliment or an insult.
(25:15):
I really didn't.
I was like what do you mean?
They call me the velvetbulldozer.
And he said well, you alwaysget what you want.
You will go through things,around things or over things,
but you'll always do it with asmile on your face and you'll
always leave people feelinggreat.
So I didn't mind the nickname.
After that, right, and so Ithink to your point.
(25:39):
I think I had something whereI'm like I can't possibly fix
this, because I always believethere's a solution.
My team will tell you it makesthem crazy, because when I've
decided something, I just needit to happen, like whatever we
have to do, because I alwaysthink there's someone who can
solve it, there's someone I knowor someone that they know.
And so and that's why I think alot of the CEOs I work with
(26:00):
love putting me in a room forideation because I can come up
with like 50 ideas at moments,because I don't see, like the
problem, the champagne problem,I see, okay, there is a solution
for this.
We just have to get creativeand find it.
So you know, I think everyonelistening to this has their own
set of boulders, whatever theyare, and in their world they're
(26:20):
big boulders, but in comparisonto someone else's world, it
could be different, and so Ithink I have been very, very
fortunate to have my health todo the things that I love.
We have a luxury manifesto in mycompany, and one of our key
philosophies is that I get to dowhat I love with people I love
in places I love, and so we knowwhen we're assessing whether
(26:44):
I'm going to keynote at aconference or whether I'm going
to work one-on-one with a CEO ordo a consulting assignment with
a luxury brand, we run itthrough those filters.
Are they the kind of people Ilove?
Is it going to be in a place Ilove and am I going to do it the
kind of work that I love?
And that's a privilege, that'sa luxury to be able to do that,
and I've worked my butt off Ihope I can say that on your
(27:06):
podcast.
I've worked my butt off to makethat happen, and I I like so
many people listening to thishad to do all the yucky things
that we do when we're buildingour career, and we all have
horror stories of our own,especially as women.
And to the men who arelistening, I appreciate you all
being advocates for the womenwho are around you in your life
as well, but we've all had thosechallenges.
(27:28):
I just choose to focus verymuch on the positive and to
extend grace to everyonewherever I can.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Yeah, well, and those daily actions become who you
really are.
I mean, what you do on day in,day out, what you can weed out,
what you can accentuate, becomewho you ultimately are.
And it comes back around, I'msure.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
Yeah, I think there's this perception of being like
Pollyanna positive, you know,with my little rosy colored
glasses and I'm fine, I willabsolutely wear that.
But I don't think the worldneeds to know the ugliness of
the craziness or the thoughts orthe insanity that we all have.
I mean, I think, as women, somany of us second guess
ourselves.
(28:14):
You know, walking into a roomso many women I know I work with
like feel like an imposter.
All those things are there.
I just didn't choose to talkabout them publicly.
Coaches for everything.
I have a personal trainer for myfitness.
I have a business coach for mybusiness.
You know, like I have put inplace these people that I can
talk to about anything that I'mthinking about.
Do I choose to post that onsocial media?
(28:35):
No, People don't need to likesee all of that crazy, but my
life on social media really ismy life.
Like it's not a highlight reel,Like that's really my life.
If you want to see thecraziness of you know my life,
watch my Instagram storiesbecause you see everything.
It's not filtered right, but Ithink too many people choose to
air all of their grievances onplatforms like social media and
(28:59):
that's their choice.
I just don't know what thatdoes to help the world.
I would rather choose platformsto change conversations, to
encourage diversity of thought,to help people elevate their
thinking, elevate experiences.
That's how I choose to use thepublic platforms that I have,
whether it's on the stage,whether it's coaching a CEO or
(29:25):
even in authoring a book.
It's really about advancingthose levels of conversations
and embracing diversity ofthought.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
I can see that and I can also see that a lot of times
you leave the blanks so thatsomeone can kind of insert who
they are and what they'reexperiencing of, insert who they
are and what they'reexperiencing and you don't stomp
all over that.
That's, that is that's howyou're helping people move along
.
So are you a heart listener, ahead listener?
(29:52):
And recently I interviewedsomebody and she was like well,
you realize there's alsolistening with your gut.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
Yeah, and I was just going to say you're missing one.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
And so, what are you?
Speaker 3 (30:04):
People make decisions in three ways they either think
with their head, feel withtheir heart or know with their
gut.
So you'll think, feel and knowright.
That's how I see people as faras their decision making right.
And you can hear the way peoplemake decisions.
They'll say I think thisdecision-making right.
And you can hear the way peoplemake decisions.
They'll say I think this.
You know, do we have option A,contingency plans B?
(30:26):
They rationalize it's great.
I married a thinker.
Some people are feelers I feelthis, I sense this, you know and
they are very much around thatand so they're going to feel
through a decision and thinkabout the impact of other people
.
Knowers are those people whocan't articulate always why
they're making the decisionsthey are.
They make the thinkers andfeelers crazy because they are
(30:46):
very much in their gut, in theirknowing.
I am a knower, I am absolutelya knower and I married a thinker
.
We were offered an opportunityto move to Hong Kong and both of
us were very open to it.
We were very excited and wetried my husband's method of
should we move to Hong Kong?
Pros and cons list weighted thepros and cons, even Steven.
(31:07):
So I was like, okay, thatdoesn't work.
So then we tried his thinkingway, and so then we had to meet
with his boss for dinner.
And so we're sitting in aHaagen-Dazs, I remember, in Hong
Kong and we us, I remember inHong Kong, and we're like, let's
flip a coin, a coin, okay.
Still wasn't happy with theresult.
Just our life, flip a coin,it's just flip a coin.
It was getting that silly.
And then my husband said whatdo you think?
(31:29):
And I said I just don't know,it's the right thing.
And he was like okay.
And so, because we've beenmarried like my entire life, he
trusted my knowing.
So I am very much a knower.
I am also a person who assessesvery quickly when I meet someone
.
I will see you're reallytrustworthy or maybe I need to
be a little bit more cautious ofyou.
(31:51):
And I think too, because I wasthe new kid at school all the
time, like I was the kid at thefront of the class here's the
new kid, meet the new kid, right.
And I knew that everyone inthat room is deciding is she
cool?
Does she go in the cool kidsclub?
Does she go in the smarty pantsclub?
Does she go in the bully club?
Is she a tough kid and so I'mused to people like making that
(32:12):
assessment and I think I learnedreally quickly how to navigate
all of that and so I rely onthat sense of knowing when I'm
working with an executive, whenI'm working with a meeting
planner.
So, yeah, very much.
I think my sequencing is I knowfirst, then I feel, then I
think.
But I'm very, very strategic,so I'm very good at coming up
(32:34):
with strategy for others, but Ijust know and that is very
frustrating to people around youif you're a Noah.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
I can imagine.
But you seem to take everyelement in your life, from Noah
young days to current days, anduse them, use all of those
stepping stones that have ledyou to where you are.
Have you had to think aboutthat a lot, or do you just kind
(33:02):
of constantly assess, moveforward, assess, move forward?
Speaker 3 (33:07):
I've always been curious and I'm sometimes
fascinated with how do we teachthe world to be more curious,
right?
And so I would always think,well, what's that about to be
more curious?
Right?
And so I would always think,well, what's that about, how do
I solve that, how do I fix that,how do I help that?
And so this curiosity that I'vehad as a kid also serves me
very well as an adult For peoplelistening.
I'm a little old lady, so, like,I'm curious, I am very, very
(33:29):
curious, and I think that levelof curiosity, amy, just makes us
better.
I also believe that we havethis time on this planet to do
as much as we can and make themost of the days we have.
When I find myself, like somany of your listeners,
mindlessly scrolling onInstagram watching cat videos,
sometimes I'm like that's what Iwant to do.
It makes me laugh.
I love my cat, his name isHarley.
(33:51):
I'm happy, right, becausethat's what we need, right.
But when I find myself doing itbecause I'm procrastinating on
something, the deeper questionthen is what am I
procrastinating?
Why am I watching these catvideos which I love, make me
laugh when I really need to bewriting that client proposal,
right, and so I think the senseof curiosity allows me to keep
trying to get better at things.
(34:11):
I also am someone who I feellike we learn these lessons, amy
, not always for our own benefit.
Sometimes it's because we needto be able to share or teach
someone else about it, and sothis because I am so strategic
I'm always looking at what's theprocess behind that, and I have
what I call in my life systemsof elevation, and so I'm always
(34:33):
looking how do I systemize that,like what's the system in place
?
Or trying to understand thesystem.
How did they think that?
Why did they do that?
Once again, curiosity, and so Ithink we can.
All that's accessible to all ofus.
Curiosity costs us nothing.
It does just allow us to take abeat, ask a bigger question, to
think about the impact ofsomething, which sometimes I
(34:54):
have to like think before Ispeak.
I don't know if anyone else onthis, um, listening to this has
that, but every small reportcard I got as a kid, amy always
said she is a good student, butshe talks too much.
My whole life, even mycorporate career, right.
I remember one of my bosseswrote this comment and they were
like Neen does not toleratefools, like that was written in
(35:18):
my like performance review and Iwas like so what's wrong with
that?
Speaker 2 (35:21):
I know I expected that as compliment.
I should score high there.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
Right, and so I think you know, think about, like all
of these things we've beentalking about Contagious
confidence, right, energymanagement, attention management
, curiosity they're all part ofwhat we were referring to as,
let's call it our ladyshiptoolkit To the gentleman
listening, you can call itleadership toolkit, but these
all form part of who you are andhow you show up in the world.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
Yeah, yeah, well, and you're able to use them and
you've had some changes.
I mean, a lot of people wouldsay in your corporate world you
should be comfortable and that'slike you've got this guarantee,
you've got bosses that love you, you've got abilities to say
your mind, you.
You've got that credibilitythat you've earned.
(36:09):
But you went out away from thatlittle safe and I say safe
because being an entrepreneurmeans you're on the other side
of the desk and sometimes that'sa little more challenging or
different challenging.
So, while you were making thatswitch, was it a dream of yours?
(36:31):
Was it something that youwished?
Did you make a change fromwishing and dreaming to making
it a reality?
What led you to where you are?
I?
Speaker 3 (36:42):
think several things, amy, when I look back on my
life like we all need to fromtime to time.
We already have established I'mvery curious, right, and I
always think I can solveeverything.
We already have established.
I'm very curious, right, and Ialways think I can solve
everything.
But as a little girl, seeingwhat my mom would do and work as
(37:02):
hard as she did it, drove me tonever want to be like that.
So I wanted to always be ableto afford whatever and to be
able to share with whatever wecould, because my mom was very
generous.
She was always sharing, eventhough we didn't have much right
.
So that was a key driver for mewas I want to be able to do
more, see more, be in the world,go and actually see the world.
My Auntie Carol is one of mybiggest role models and she is
(37:24):
this cheekiest laugh.
She's really sassy.
My mom's sifter and AuntieCarol had this wild sense of
adventure.
I'm from a tiny town inAustralia.
Like there was like one trafficlight when I was growing up and
my Auntie Carol decided in thistiny little town she was going
to go to Greece.
She was going to go to Greece.
Like she learned Greek.
This is before the internetpeople.
(37:45):
She decided she was going toplan this trip and off she went.
And I think I was so inspiredby her wanting to see the world,
amy, that that became part ofmy driver as well.
Change is something that I crave.
Comfort makes me scared.
If I'm too comfortable, I freakout a little bit.
So when I was in my corporatecareer, if you track my banking
(38:06):
career, where I was nine yearsand the reason I left is I was
too scared to celebrate 10 yearsso if you track my career, you
will see that I moved on averageevery 10 months.
And here's my strategy.
I realized very quickly itwould take me three months to
learn the job, six months tomaster it.
Nine months to find and trainmy successor so that within 12
(38:29):
months I could move out of thatrole and into something else.
So I was always looking for mynext.
So, three months to learn it.
I would get to know it, I woulddocument it, I'd operationalize
it.
Six months so I could teachsomeone else right, so I could
master it.
Nine months I'd find the personI thought would be my successor
or someone I would start towhen I went on vacation.
I'd encourage them to do myrole or whatever.
(38:49):
So if you track my career onaverage I moved every 10 months
and so what I've noticed withwhen I'm coaching my CEOs, I can
help them get transformationreally quickly if they apply
some of the systems.
And I've watched as some ofthem have really had
transformations because they'veapplied some of the thinking,
these mindsets that I've broughtto it.
(39:09):
So I do crave change.
Comfort concerns me.
If I'm like too comfortable,I'm thinking, oh, what am I
missing?
Who am I not serving?
What am I not doing?
So my husband will tell you Ican't stay still.
That's something that peopleI'm sure have gathered by
listening to this.
At the speed at which I work,the speed of my speak and that
energy I'm so responsible for myenergy and I think, as women,
(39:31):
we have to think about our ownenergy management.
We gift so much to so many, sooften, that we also need to take
time to think about whatrecharges you Like, how do you
re-energize?
I literally schedule recoveryin my calendar and in my day and
I think that's a privilege anda luxury.
I understand that, but even if,for some of you listening, you
(39:53):
could just find those fiveminutes of recovery just for
yourself.
I think that's really importantfor the energy you need to be
able to give out.
Yeah, even sitting in thecorporate world, sitting at your
desk, sometimes Even more sobecause you've got old people
all the time saying do you havea minute, do you have a second?
Do you have?
It's never a minute, it's nevera minute, it's never a second.
(40:17):
People are interrupting you allthe time and you go from one
meeting to the next.
All you hear all day is sorryI'm late, sorry, I'm late, sorry
I'm late, because we're inthese virtual calls all day and
then we're on email all night.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
So I think it's even harder in the corporate world
yeah, so have you seen a lot ofchange in the businesses that
you're working with, say, in thelast five, six years, with the
CEOs and with finding thedifferent motivations within
their both boardrooms and justin their corporations?
Speaker 3 (40:43):
When I wrote the book Exceptional Experiences, what I
realized is there's twooutcomes from the book how do
you capture mindshare and how doyou capture market share?
And every CEO that I work withis reliant on that.
They have to think about how dothey capture mindshare clients
that they want to work with andteam members they want to
recruit and stay and retain andthen how do they drive market
(41:06):
share?
How do their shareholders stayhappy, their boards stay happy,
their teams stay happy.
So if you think about the lensthat I see the world through
mindshare and market share so domy CEOs.
That hasn't changed.
Now what does change for themis the global situations, the
economic environment, thepolitical and societal
(41:26):
conversations that occur, and sowhat I've seen my CEOs have to
navigate is such insanely,ridiculously challenging
changing times.
Because think about it right now, at the time of recording, we
have come out of a globalsituation where the whole world
(41:46):
was on fire, and then AI hasbecome a really big part of our
conversation.
I am pro-AI, I embrace it, Iuse Claude, I say Claude is my
boyfriend, I talk to him all day.
I think it can give usincredible insights, but it will
never replace human connection,and I think in our digital AI
(42:08):
world, we crave that human touch, that human connection.
We crave that human touch, thathuman connection.
And so I think, with my CEOs,they will always have an
important role, as long as theyunderstand that everybody at
their core wants to be seen andheard, and I think that will
never change.
But what we sometimes getdistracted by is our email, our
(42:32):
meetings, our stakeholders, ourKPIs, all of these things where
everyone's trying to pull in ourattention.
See, I think, amy, everybodywants our attention.
Not everybody deserves ourattention.
All CEOs have to chooseattention management.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
I think that's true.
And then I think that we'vealso had some fears for CEOs of
like the more you know, the moreyou get involved, the more you
know you have to watch this andwatch that and be sure you don't
say this or you makeopportunity for that, and so it
becomes kind of a little scaryplayground where they're like no
, I'm just going to stay in myoffice, it's safer here.
Speaker 3 (43:14):
Yeah, but like safe and comfortable that.
Like I said, that concerns me,right?
So the best CEOs that I knowhave the courage, the courage to
be able to develop the teamaround them, to be as informed
as they can be.
The best athletes have coaches,the best CEOs have coaches, and
so I know my role as aconfidant to CEOs around the
(43:34):
world.
I know that just sometimes,having someone outside who can
be objective, who can providethat sort of sounding board for
you, is important.
But it doesn't matter whetheryou're a CEO listening to this
or not.
You're the CEO of your life,you're the CEO of your house,
you're the CEO of the committeesyou chair, the boards you serve
on.
So you know you are the chiefexperience officer of everything
(43:58):
that you're doing.
So really, everyone listeningto this is a CEO.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
Yeah, I like the chief experience officer Right.
Yeah, so can you tell when youneed to have an adventure?
I mean all the time.
Speaker 3 (44:12):
Yeah, I, amy, ask anyone in my life.
I'm always planning my nextvacation, and while I'm on
vacation, I need to know when mynext vacation is.
The lifestyle that I've chosen,amy, is I spend my life on
planes, in conference rooms,boardrooms, convention centers,
and so some people will drive towork, I fly, it's the same.
It's just that the conferencesthat I speak at, the client
(44:35):
sites that I'm visiting, theyjust don't happen to be in my
backyard.
I'd love to do more local work,but here we are.
And so, as I also have thissense of adventure from my
Auntie, carol, I'm sure of it,and the vacation could sometimes
be a staycation, like I'veflown a girlfriend in just to
stay in Tampa and we stayed at abeautiful hotel just so that we
could have a little adventuretogether without everyone else
(44:55):
around us.
So I think adventures to me too, it could be choosing to hike a
beautiful trail.
That's something that I lookforward to, right, I've really
got into, like there's a thingin Tampa called puppy yoga, and
I'm obsessed, right, oh, mygoodness, I know.
So you do yoga with puppies?
I mean, come on like, and Ihave a cat, right?
So I'm never going to have apuppy.
So this is my way of being ableto play with puppies.
(45:18):
I volunteer at the HumaneSociety.
These are adventures to me.
So adventure doesn't have to bea paid vacation, although I'm
here for all of that.
Adventure could be something.
(45:39):
It could be a new restaurantyou want to try, or taking
yourself out for lunch.
Like so many people I knowdon't like dining alone.
I mean, that's my realitybecause I travel, right.
But maybe your adventure ishaving the courage to go to a
movie all by yourself or like.
Do you know what I mean?
Like?
Speaker 2 (45:43):
so I think they have so that campaign moment.
Speaker 3 (45:49):
You got it.
Hashtag champagne momenttagging James.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
I love it.
So Do you have to forgiveyourself sometimes where you're
falling short of these fantasticelements that lead you down
this great life and path?
But do you have to stop and notbe hard on yourself sometimes
and maybe forget, are we?
Speaker 3 (46:13):
talking daily or hourly.
I mean honestly, like I thinkabout this.
Right, we say something stupidand it's so easy to ruminate in
something.
Right, it's easy for us to gooh why did I say that?
Or I should have said this.
But here's what I realized.
Yes, I have to forgive myselfall the time, but we can't
organize history, so I can't goback and change the conversation
(46:35):
.
I can't go back and suck thosewords back into my mouth.
Let's just say, if I saysomething stupid, I speak for a
living, so I'm obviously goingto say something that I don't.
I don't script everything.
You and I didn't scriptanything we talked about today,
right, and so when we listen toit back, hopefully it's of value
to our listeners.
But I know we had fun havingthe chat, so, yeah, but I think
forgiveness is a thing that isreally easy to do for others.
(46:57):
It's much harder to do forourselves, because I guarantee
you would never say to agirlfriend the kind of things
you say to yourself.
That would never, ever happen.
And so we beat ourselves upabout the food we ate, the
scales, the way our clothes fit,the conversations we had, like
name it, women are brilliant atthis.
If there is an award for beingable to beat yourself up.
(47:19):
Women are great at it, right?
So I don't want anyonelistening to this thinking that
I don't do that.
Of course.
I stand on the scales and I'llbe like, oh, I know why that is
right.
So it can send me in a spiralor I can say, okay, that's the
consequences of way too muchchampagne this weekend, Like now
you need to be an adult and getit together, or whatever.
So, yeah, absolutely, I thinkwe all do things, but we are so
(47:43):
much more focused on us thanpeople are on us, and so if we
can just extend that grace toourselves like we would to
others, I think we show up somuch more powerfully as leaders,
and that's how you be anexceptional leader.
Speaker 2 (47:57):
Yeah, well, and you've mentioned grace a couple
of times and that I think thatif women have a shortfall, it's
the amount of grace that theyoffer.
Lack of grace, right, lack ofexactly.
So we've talked about a lot ofthings.
Is there anything that wehaven't touched on that you want
(48:18):
to make sure that we do?
And if this were your platformand you could yell something
really loudly, what would beyour message?
Speaker 3 (48:35):
is.
We have a responsibility tocreate significant moments for
people, and my responsibility isto make sure every person that
I meet feels seen and heard.
So if there's one thing I wouldask all of our listeners to
think about today, as you gothrough your day, everyone that
you meet, if you could give themthe gift of your undivided
attention, allow them to feelseen and heard.
That's the platform.
I just want everyone to feelseen, heard and valued, and that
(48:58):
that's what luxury is all about.
Speaker 2 (49:01):
I agree wholeheartedly.
Now tell us how to look for thebook, how do we pre-order, how
do we follow you all of thosegoodies?
Speaker 3 (49:13):
Well, you and I got connected on Instagram, so I
play there every day, so you canfollow my adventures on
Instagram.
At Neen James that's theeasiest place to find me my
website by the same nameN-E-E-N-J-A-M-E-Scom you can
find the new book ExceptionalExperiences all the places you
love to buy books.
As a little girl, amy, I lovedindependent bookstores, so I
(49:35):
encourage you.
If you have one in your localarea, you can use bookshoporg to
find it and pre-order it.
You can obviously get it fromall of the places like Amazon,
barnes, noble, target, and sowhat I'd encourage people to do
is don't just buy a copy for you, buy a copy for a girlfriend as
well, so you can read ittogether and then you can share
the experience with others.
Speaker 2 (49:56):
That is fabulous.
I cannot thank you enough.
I feel encouraged, inspired andchallenged, so thank you so
much for joining us.
Speaker 3 (50:07):
It's my privilege and thank you for what you're doing
in the world.
It makes such a big impact, Amy.
Speaker 1 (50:12):
Oh, thank you, Thank you Down my yellow brick road
and I stomp to the beat of myown drum.
I got my pockets full of dreamsand they're busting at the
seams, going boom, boom, boom Tomy own song.
Speaker 4 (50:44):
Gotta stomp to my own drum.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
Stomp to my own song.
Find Stacked Keys Podcast onSpotify, soundcloud and iTunes
or anywhere you get yourfavorite podcast.
Listen You'll laugh out loud,you'll cry a little, you'll find
yourself encouraged.
Join us for casual conversationthat leads itself based on
where we take it, from family tophilosophy, to work, to meal
(51:10):
prep, to beautifully survivinglife.
And hey, if I could ask a bigfavor of you, go to iTunes and
give us a five rating.
The more people who rate us,the more we get this podcast out
there.
Thanks, I appreciate it.
I think we'll be all right.
Speaker 4 (51:30):
When I let myself go with the night.
Gotta stomp to my own drum,Stomp to my own song.
Stomp hey Gonna put on my bootsand move.
Gotta stomp to my own drum.
Stomp to my own song.
Speaker 1 (52:01):
Stomp.
Hey, ooh, ooh, ooh, I got a keyto all my Wants and all my
dreams, yeah.
Speaker 4 (52:16):
Cause I Stomp to my own drum.
Stomp to my own song.
Stomp, hey, gonna, put on myboots and Move fast.
Stomp to my own drum.
Stomp to my Big drum.
Stomp to my own drum.
Stomp to my big drum.
Stomp, hey, stomp, hey, wow,wow, wow.
I'm walking all alone down my yellow brick road and I
stomp to the beat of my owndrum.
I got my pockets full of dreamsand they're busting at the
seams, going boom, boom boom.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Welcome to Stacked Keys Podcast.
I'm your host, amy Stackhouse.
This is a podcast to featurewomen who are impressive in the
work world or in raising afamily, or who have hobbies that
make us all feel encouraged.
Want to hear what makes thesewomen passionate to get up in
the morning, or what maybe theywish they'd known a little bit
(00:42):
earlier in their lives.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Grab your keys and stomp to your own drum.
Whatever you do, it ain'tnothing on me, because I'm doing
my thing and I hold the key toall my wants and all my dreams
like an old song.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
well, I am super excited today have a guest that
I know is going to sparkeverybody's creativity and
desire to go.
She is just absolutely gorgeous, is wearing her signature pink,
and so I'm sure we'll talkabout that.
But, neen, james, I am soexcited to have you today.
(01:42):
Welcome.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
What a privilege, Amy , to serve your listeners today.
I cannot believe we're finallydoing this after being connected
on Instagram for so long.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
That is fabulous, and so, right out of the gate, I
want to start out with Neen.
How do people know you, bothpersonally and professionally?
Speaker 3 (02:01):
So all the meeting planners that hire me to keynote
their events, they all call methe energizer bunny, and while
you're listening to this and youcan't see, I am four foot ten
and a half, which that halfmakes a big difference, amy.
I am frequently almost alwaysin hot pink, which has become
part of my signature, which wasnot deliberate, amy, it's just
(02:22):
part of what happened andbecause I'm paid to bring energy
to the audiences that I standin serve of.
So, whether I am the executivecoach for a CEO and their team,
or whether I am keynoting anevent, that energy is definitely
what I'm most known for.
And so, while I might be littlefor those of you listening and
trying to work out this crazyaccent, I hail from Sydney,
(02:44):
australia, but I now live inTampa, florida, and so I am a
proud Australian and a proudAmerican citizen as well.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Well, that's exciting .
Well, what brought you toAmerica?
Were you a teenager?
Were you an adult?
Speaker 3 (03:01):
I know, I sound like I'm five, but we have lived here
for over 20 years, amy, and somy husband was offered an
opportunity here and we couldboth work here, and so I closed
my company in Australia and Istarted from scratch, and I knew
nobody but my realtor, amy.
When we moved, we moved fromSydney City to Doylestown,
(03:24):
pennsylvania, and I don't knowif any of your listeners know
where that even is, but it ishalfway between Philly and New
York.
It is perfect suburbia.
There are 2.4 children to everyhouse, there's trucks and
minivans on everyone's driveway.
People even mowed their lawns acertain way, amy.
I'd never seen stripes in alawn, because I lived in Sydney
City in an apartment, so I'dnever seen anything like it.
(03:47):
We were the only childless,dogless couple in the entire
neighborhood, amy.
But I loved it, and you know,the first thing I did because I
knew nobody was I pulled out asuit from my suitcase suit from
my suitcase.
I tried to like steam it and Igoogled women's networks plus
(04:09):
Doylestown.
That was my Google search,right, and there was one in this
tiny little place.
I got in my car.
I arrived hideously earlybecause I had no idea where I
was.
I had no idea how long thingswould take.
This is before, like gps's werepart of our car.
So let's all like, cast ourminds back, ladies, to like when
you had to print out googlemaps.
(04:31):
You remember that like rightright that was me, and so when I
first moved here that's how Icreated my network.
Amy was through women, becauseI've always believed that maybe
the woman in front of you can'thelp you, but she knows 200
amazing women in her networkthat probably can.
And so what I deliberately didwas, when I moved here, while I
(04:52):
didn't know anyone, I met thatgroup of women first, and then I
thought, okay, if this personneeds this, I could connect them
to this person.
Right, and so then as soon as Imet someone, I would connect
them to someone else.
And so I had this belief thatif you really want to stand in
service of other people, you cangrow your network.
And that's how I very quicklygrew my name and my reputation
(05:15):
in the Philadelphia area andthat's how I've built my whole
business.
Amy is through referrals, but Ithink women want to help other
women and that was my experience.
It was still my experience, andso you know, some 20 years
later I have a business that Ilove that takes me all over the
globe, but it started at thatlittle women's networking group
(05:35):
in Doylestown.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
That's fabulous, and you're so proactive, so that, to
me, is a character trait, andis it one that you had to
develop, or did you have toreally push yourself in an
uncomfortable way, or is it justa natural for you?
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Most of five kids.
And I've always been thelittlest right.
So and I sometimes giggle likeyou know, underestimate me
because that'll be fun for youLike because I'm so little.
I think sure people like seethe world differently.
So while it's not a challenge,I think it's definitely an asset
.
I have always been the personwho volunteered, right.
(06:13):
I would volunteer at Sundayschool to do the reading.
I would volunteer in a team tolead a project, to provide a
presentation.
I remember when I left school Ijoined the bank.
I was the youngest bank managerthey had and like 33,000
employees because I was alwaysputting my hand up.
So I think proactivity,responsibility, accountability
(06:37):
have been key themes in my lifeand I think for people who are
listening, being able to havethis courage.
I believe in my bookExceptional Experiences I talk
about this concept calledcontagious confidence and I
think I've always had thiscontagious confidence, amy, I
walk into every room and Iassume everyone wants to play
(06:58):
with me.
I always have from a kid aswell as an adult, so I've never
met a boardroom that'sintimidated me or a ballroom of
thousands of people because Ijust make this assumption.
And so I think that confidencethat I have is contagious for
others and I think, leaders whoare listening to this.
Whether you're leading in yourchurch, your home, your temple,
your community, your boardroom,your energy is contagious your
(07:23):
confidence is contagious, and soI've always had that and, as a
result, have always found myselfin leadership positions yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Well, it's interesting because also, at the
same time, if you're theopposite of that, it's
contagious.
So you're, you're making thischoice to be a connector and a
positive and and that can reallytake you a long way.
Now you referenced a book, sojump right, actual Experiences
(07:54):
and it's coming out.
So you're doing pre-orders atthis point.
So tell me a little bit aboutthe book.
Do you define yourself as anauthor or is this a new road?
Speaker 3 (08:06):
for you?
No, I do not.
So I'm so pleased that youasked Exceptional Experiences.
The subtitle is five luxurylevers to elevate every aspect
of your business, and this bookis written for people who are
looking to drive revenue intheir business, whether they are
an entrepreneur, whether theyare a leader of a team, or for
(08:27):
many of the executives that Iwork with.
They might be the chief revenueofficer, the chief marketing
officer, the chief operatingofficer, and so this book is the
evolution of my body of work.
I wouldn't call myself an author.
Although I've contributed to 10books, four of them are just
ones that I've published, and soI have this career where, when
(08:49):
I was in my corporate life, amy,I was always the person who
could get things done.
I was the person who would leadprojects, turn around projects,
fix team members who weren'tperforming.
That was very much myreputation in my corporate
career, and so what I realizedthe through line of all that was
that I could get things done.
It was very productive, and sothe early books that I wrote
Secrets of Super Productivity,folding Time and Attention Pays.
(09:13):
What is very core to all ofthose is, I realized very young,
you can't manage time, but youcan manage your attention, and I
realized attention managementwas really key in the early
2000s, and so that's reallywhere my work started is, how
can I think about attentionmanagement?
This is before we werediagnosing an attention deficit
(09:37):
society that we have, and thisis way before cell phones became
very much an extension of ourhands.
And so when I wrote AttentionPace, for example, amy, what I
realized is the world that I wasliving in people were
overwhelmed, overstressed andovertired, and we needed a
solution for that.
That's why Attention Pace waswritten.
(09:58):
But Exceptional Experiences mylatest book, which comes out on
the 14th of October, so at thetime of recording we're in
pre-orders right now this bookwas because I've always believed
that attention is aboutconnection, and what I believe
is that, with things like whatluxury brands are brilliant at
and I work in so many luxurybrands around the world they're
(10:21):
really great at this elevatedlevel of attention.
And so I started to study allthese brands and thought what
could we all learn from all ofthese luxury brands and what
they're doing?
I've always thought, amy,luxury is a mindset.
I've always believed that, andI think luxury is about
experiences, not things.
We think of luxury as like theexpensive car or the handbag,
(10:42):
and that's not the case, like Ithink.
It's about the experience youcreate, and so what I realized
was this book is the evolution,because truly luxury is making
people foreseen and heard andvalued, and this book gives
people very specific strategies,from capturing the attention of
clients they want to work withall the way through to being
(11:06):
able to have those clientsbecome advocates for them, and
so we have this five-partframework that you can walk
through that allows you to beable to do that, so it'll help
you grow your revenue,differentiate yourself and also
make sure that people really dofeel seen and heard in your life
.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Wow, I can't imagine not wanting to read this book
and apply it.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
I cannot because you know you reference 2000.
Well, you know, here we are, somany years later and those are
the same issues.
Those are the same issues thatare in a boardroom.
They're the same issues that aCEO is dealing with trying to
find, you know, the work lifebalance and the all of these
(11:53):
attributes, but these come fromwithin.
And that luxury, you're right,it's a definition that that
might need to be revisited.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
See, I've always assumed luxury is a mindset, amy
, because my mom demonstratedthis to me.
I have very, very humblebeginnings.
When I was little, we lived ina caravan.
In America they call it atrailer park.
So I don't come from a wealthybackground.
My mom was a single mom withtwo little girls and she would
(12:23):
clean houses and she pickedfruit and she sold lettuce on
the side of the road.
Like my mom worked really,really hard.
What was interesting about mymom and she definitely inspires
my work is, at the end of areally busy shift, amy, no
matter how tired she was, shewould walk through a community
garden and she would pick aflower and she would bring it
back to our paravan and shewould put it in a glass and we
(12:46):
called it a vase because we feltfancy.
But my mom reminded me that itdidn't matter as little girls,
that we didn't have things, itwas beauty that we could bring
into our everyday.
So my mom showed me beauty andorder and how we all deserved
luxury.
And so anyone listening to thisyou deserve luxury, you are
(13:06):
worth it.
And perhaps your luxury issipping your coffee out of a
beautiful coffee mug, or maybeit's meditating for an extra
minute, or maybe it's getting upearlier so that you have a few
quiet moments before your housestarts to get together, you know
?
And so what I realized veryyoung is that luxury is a
mindset, and so when I wasexplaining this to some of my
(13:27):
corporate clients, I thoughtthere would be research to prove
this, amy, because I've alwaysbelieved this theory luxury is a
mindset.
Well, wouldn't you know?
There's not a single researchstudy on luxury as a mindset.
There's plenty of studies onhow does luxury make people feel
.
It's great.
I wanted to know how do peoplethink about luxury?
How does it affect theirconfidence, professional
(13:49):
development?
Who influences their decision?
How much do they pay on luxury?
How long does it take to make adecision about luxury?
I wanted to know everything,and because it was in our study,
I commissioned my own researchstudy.
So, amy, we have the onlyresearch study of its kind in
the world, and we even have aluxury mindset self-assessment
that all your listeners can take.
So we'll make sure you have thelink for that in the show notes
(14:11):
, but I'd encourage thelisteners.
It'll take you less than fiveminutes to discover your own
luxury mindset.
But what's really interestingabout it, amy, is once we
understand our luxury mindset,it's just an extra asset in our
leadership toolkit.
We can then decide oh, this ishow I see the world, and now you
know that there's all theseother luxury mindsets out there,
(14:34):
so we have to also be flexibleand adaptable in the way we
communicate.
So the book has the luxuryresearch study in it.
It has the link for the luxurymindset self-assessment people
can take, and then it has somany strategies that everyone
can apply to elevate theirbusiness in a multitude of ways.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Wow, I love that and I can see it being utilized in
so many different facets.
I mean it can go from theperson who truly is the leader
in the boardroom to the personwho is never even broaching the
boardroom.
So it's it kind of go whereveryou are and you can apply it in
(15:19):
whatever circumstance.
So that's fabulous.
You know, you probably, in allof your work, have heard the
word unfair.
Where you're positioned in acertain way, you're getting this
treatment, or that's justunfair.
What do you think of when youhear the word unfair?
Speaker 3 (15:38):
I think it's a choice .
So I opened up by saying I'm4'10 and a half.
I sound like I'm 5.
I was often the only chick in aboardroom.
I'm often the only chick infirst class Like.
I don't see any of that asunfair.
I see these as just uniquechallenges that I might face
right.
I don't see it as unfair thatmy mom was a single mom.
(15:59):
I just see that was just.
It is what it is.
I think things just happen andit's what you make them mean.
That really has the impact.
And so I've chosen to take thesethings about me that others
might perceive to be unfair, andespecially as a woman in
corporate and having very seniorpositions.
Yeah, I remember so many timespeople assumed I was the
(16:21):
secretary or I was there to takethe notes, when actually, in
fact, I was the person who wasrunning the meeting or I was the
person who was the speaker.
So I think one of the thingsthat happens with unfair, or
people's perception of unfair,it's how you react to it.
So I would love to extend graceto everybody.
So, even though I've beenmistaken for a completely
(16:42):
different role to what I had, Iwill always extend grace to that
person because maybe in theirworld they don't know
differently.
I think what's amazing aboutwomen particularly is they take
these perceived unfairness, amy,and they turn them around.
Women are resilient, they aretenacious.
They are the people who can getthings done.
(17:02):
I just know that because I'msurrounded by them.
My mom was a great example ofthat.
My girlfriends are leaders thatI get to coach, so I'm not sure
if I fully believe in thingsbeing unfair.
I believe that people see theworld through their lens, and
we're living in a very dividedworld right now, on a global
level as well as at a domesticlevel, and we could all sit
(17:26):
around and say things are unfairor we could choose to do
something about it.
I choose to do something aboutit.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Well, you know you talked about.
You made reference to yourladyship toolkit.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
Leadership toolkit yes.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Okay, all right, so leadership.
Okay, I didn't catch the accent, it's a silly accent, but
leadership works as well.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
I like it both actually.
Yes, it's the leadershiptoolkit.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
That's funny.
Okay, well, tell me about thatleadership toolkit.
I mean, here you are collectingthings as you go along to put
in this toolkit.
So is this a concept that youdecided early on when you were
working in the corporate worldof, hey, I need to have these
tools, abilities or views orsomething in my toolkit.
(18:20):
How did you start to think thatway?
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Because I was often the only chick.
So I was.
And look, look at theindustries I chose to work in.
I was working in retail,banking, telecommunications and
the oil industry.
So there's a lot of seniorchicks in oil, right?
So understand that.
The career choices I made veryyoung, I was very young.
The career choices I made veryyoung, I was very young and I
was very tenacious.
And so what I realized is Iwould watch what other people
(18:46):
did.
What I learned very young, veryquickly, whether it was Sunday
school or whether it was in highschool that if you had the
courage to stand up and speak,you would be able to help others
.
You could summarize things.
Most people don't enjoy any formof public speaking, whereas
I've always loved it.
And so I realized in myleadership toolkit okay, that's
(19:09):
something I need to get betterat.
So I focused on that.
I also watched in my corporatecareer that the people who could
get things done got promoted.
So I understood that thatequaled productivity.
So if I could establish my ownset of productivity tools, which
I did I would be the person whocould get things done that got
recognized.
So if you think about thecombination of productivity and
(19:30):
presentation skills and I have apresence about me.
Like I said, I walk into everyroom.
I have always assumed peoplewant to play with me, that they
want to help me, and that I canalways stand in service of
whoever I'm talking to.
So if you think of thatcombination of productivity,
presentation and presence, theseare three things that not only
am I known for, but it's alsowhat I coach a lot of senior
(19:53):
leaders on as well, and many ofthe CEOs that I work with,
whether they are the Fortune 500company CEOs or whether they
are medium or entrepreneurialbusinesses.
Often things fall into thosecategories, and I also realized
that your leadership toolkitmust have strong communication
skills.
That means your writtencommunications, your verbal
(20:15):
communications, your physicalityis another form of
communication, and if you'relistening to this and you're
like, well, it sounds all goodand fine for you.
Little Miss Perky, you knowextrovert.
Some of the best communicatorsI know are introverts.
So I don't want people to think, as they're listening to this,
that you have to be the outgoingperson, the big personality.
(20:37):
You don't have to be theloudest person in the room or
the most social person.
I believe that if you have asense of being able to have
integrity, to get things done,if you know how to communicate
in a way that people will listenand if you think about your own
presence.
Some of the best people, someof the most successful
professional speakers that I'veever met, some of the leaders
(20:58):
that I know that are exceptionalthe introverts.
So please don't think this isan extrovert strategy.
It's both.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Yeah, I can see that and a lot of times, leaders, you
might be in that boardroom withthat one who says nothing but
when?
Speaker 3 (21:16):
they do people really listen, because they have
commanded it in such a way thatit's like, okay, shh everybody,
because they command thatpresence right, and so I think
one of the things that we needto be more conscious of as
leaders and I use the wordleader for everyone who's
listening to a podcast, becauseif you are investing in
professional development bylistening to Amy's podcast, you
(21:36):
are a leader.
I don't care what's on yourbusiness card, I don't care if
you have a business card, butthe very fact that we all have a
presence.
But we get to choose how weshow up in the world.
We get to choose how we extendgrace to other people.
We get to choose about how wecan be more exceptional as
leaders in our community, in thepeople that we serve, and so
(21:57):
one of the things I want tochallenge people to think about
is I have this concept in thebook Amy called champagne
moments.
I am known for my love ofchampagne.
There is a muesli on the frontcover of the book.
For those of you listening, themuesli is just a fancy French
word for that wire cage thatholds the cork into the bottle
right.
And so I think one of thethings that we could look for is
(22:18):
these champagne moments everyday, and a champagne moment is
something that makes you smile,something that brings you joy.
So that is something as leaders, if we see the world through
this concept of what's mychampagne moment today and can I
give someone a champagne moment.
Sometimes that's just usingsomeone's name when you order
your coffee with your barista,or letting someone go ahead of
(22:39):
you in traffic or opening thedoor, or maybe it's some of the
things we talked about before,like enjoying your coffee cup or
maybe putting sparkling waterin a champagne glass so you can
feel like you're celebrating.
Whatever it looks like.
It's about taking those momentseach day.
As part of the book, I'mencouraging listeners and
readers to take a photo of yourchampagne moment, post it on
(23:03):
social media and then tag me,neen James, and then use the
hashtag champagne moments,because I think this is a fun
way for us to say this is what'sreally special for me today,
and I better bring joy tosomeone else.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
I love this and it has to set the mindset in a
positive way.
I mean both looking for thosemoments and then creating those
moments and then sharing thosemoments.
So you're kind of getting acomplete assignment.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
Yeah, exactly, and I'll reshare it.
If you tag me and I see it, Iwould love to share it on my
social platforms for you.
So please hashtag ChampagneMoments and make sure you tag me
, mean James.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Yeah, I like that.
So it seems like everything isjust easy for you.
That's amazing.
So are there boulders that youjust keep smashing up against at
times and just things that youhave to just either go around
(24:06):
over or sit and look at?
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Yeah, I think everyone does, Amy, but I also
think that it is relative.
I call those champagne problemsright.
So I think we all havechampagne problems of our own
and they are very relative toeach person who's listening
right.
So I think we all havechampagne problems of our own
and they are very relative toeach person who's listening
right.
I feel very fortunate.
I have a wonderful life andcareer and business, and I'm
(24:31):
surrounded by friends and family.
I choose to live on the otherside of the world from my family
.
It's just my husband and I here, and so I've had to create
family.
So family, I think, are thefriends that you choose for
yourself, which I think is avery popular fridge magnet I've
seen somewhere.
And so, while I think we allhave boulders of our own, it's
(24:51):
how we decide to deal with them,it's what we make them mean.
That has the impact.
For me, boulders are just to besmashed.
But I also believe that you canfind your way around things.
When I was in my corporatecareer, I remember, when I was
in the oil industry, my bossPhil.
He said everybody here callsyou the velvet bulldozer.
I didn't know if that was acompliment or an insult.
(25:15):
I really didn't.
I was like what do you mean?
They call me the velvetbulldozer.
And he said well, you alwaysget what you want.
You will go through things,around things or over things,
but you'll always do it with asmile on your face and you'll
always leave people feelinggreat.
So I didn't mind the nickname.
After that, right, and so Ithink to your point.
(25:39):
I think I had something whereI'm like I can't possibly fix
this, because I always believethere's a solution.
My team will tell you it makesthem crazy, because when I've
decided something, I just needit to happen, like whatever we
have to do, because I alwaysthink there's someone who can
solve it, there's someone I knowor someone that they know.
And so and that's why I think alot of the CEOs I work with
(26:00):
love putting me in a room forideation because I can come up
with like 50 ideas at moments,because I don't see, like the
problem, the champagne problem,I see, okay, there is a solution
for this.
We just have to get creativeand find it.
So you know, I think everyonelistening to this has their own
set of boulders, whatever theyare, and in their world they're
(26:20):
big boulders, but in comparisonto someone else's world, it
could be different, and so Ithink I have been very, very
fortunate to have my health todo the things that I love.
We have a luxury manifesto in mycompany, and one of our key
philosophies is that I get to dowhat I love with people I love
in places I love, and so we knowwhen we're assessing whether
(26:44):
I'm going to keynote at aconference or whether I'm going
to work one-on-one with a CEO ordo a consulting assignment with
a luxury brand, we run itthrough those filters.
Are they the kind of people Ilove?
Is it going to be in a place Ilove and am I going to do it the
kind of work that I love?
And that's a privilege, that'sa luxury to be able to do that,
and I've worked my butt off Ihope I can say that on your
(27:06):
podcast.
I've worked my butt off to makethat happen, and I I like so
many people listening to thishad to do all the yucky things
that we do when we're buildingour career, and we all have
horror stories of our own,especially as women.
And to the men who arelistening, I appreciate you all
being advocates for the womenwho are around you in your life
as well, but we've all had thosechallenges.
(27:28):
I just choose to focus verymuch on the positive and to
extend grace to everyonewherever I can.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Yeah, well, and those daily actions become who you
really are.
I mean, what you do on day in,day out, what you can weed out,
what you can accentuate, becomewho you ultimately are.
And it comes back around, I'msure.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
Yeah, I think there's this perception of being like
Pollyanna positive, you know,with my little rosy colored
glasses and I'm fine, I willabsolutely wear that.
But I don't think the worldneeds to know the ugliness of
the craziness or the thoughts orthe insanity that we all have.
I mean, I think, as women, somany of us second guess
ourselves.
(28:14):
You know, walking into a roomso many women I know I work with
like feel like an imposter.
All those things are there.
I just didn't choose to talkabout them publicly.
Coaches for everything.
I have a personal trainer for myfitness.
I have a business coach for mybusiness.
You know, like I have put inplace these people that I can
talk to about anything that I'mthinking about.
Do I choose to post that onsocial media?
(28:35):
No, People don't need to likesee all of that crazy, but my
life on social media really ismy life.
Like it's not a highlight reel,Like that's really my life.
If you want to see thecraziness of you know my life,
watch my Instagram storiesbecause you see everything.
It's not filtered right, but Ithink too many people choose to
air all of their grievances onplatforms like social media and
(28:59):
that's their choice.
I just don't know what thatdoes to help the world.
I would rather choose platformsto change conversations, to
encourage diversity of thought,to help people elevate their
thinking, elevate experiences.
That's how I choose to use thepublic platforms that I have,
whether it's on the stage,whether it's coaching a CEO or
(29:25):
even in authoring a book.
It's really about advancingthose levels of conversations
and embracing diversity ofthought.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
I can see that and I can also see that a lot of times
you leave the blanks so thatsomeone can kind of insert who
they are and what they'reexperiencing of, insert who they
are and what they'reexperiencing and you don't stomp
all over that.
That's, that is that's howyou're helping people move along
.
So are you a heart listener, ahead listener?
(29:52):
And recently I interviewedsomebody and she was like well,
you realize there's alsolistening with your gut.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
Yeah, and I was just going to say you're missing one.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
And so, what are you?
Speaker 3 (30:04):
People make decisions in three ways they either think
with their head, feel withtheir heart or know with their
gut.
So you'll think, feel and knowright.
That's how I see people as faras their decision making right.
And you can hear the way peoplemake decisions.
They'll say I think thisdecision-making right.
And you can hear the way peoplemake decisions.
They'll say I think this.
You know, do we have option A,contingency plans B?
(30:26):
They rationalize it's great.
I married a thinker.
Some people are feelers I feelthis, I sense this, you know and
they are very much around thatand so they're going to feel
through a decision and thinkabout the impact of other people
.
Knowers are those people whocan't articulate always why
they're making the decisionsthey are.
They make the thinkers andfeelers crazy because they are
(30:46):
very much in their gut, in theirknowing.
I am a knower, I am absolutelya knower and I married a thinker
.
We were offered an opportunityto move to Hong Kong and both of
us were very open to it.
We were very excited and wetried my husband's method of
should we move to Hong Kong?
Pros and cons list weighted thepros and cons, even Steven.
(31:07):
So I was like, okay, thatdoesn't work.
So then we tried his thinkingway, and so then we had to meet
with his boss for dinner.
And so we're sitting in aHaagen-Dazs, I remember, in Hong
Kong and we us, I remember inHong Kong, and we're like, let's
flip a coin, a coin, okay.
Still wasn't happy with theresult.
Just our life, flip a coin,it's just flip a coin.
It was getting that silly.
And then my husband said whatdo you think?
(31:29):
And I said I just don't know,it's the right thing.
And he was like okay.
And so, because we've beenmarried like my entire life, he
trusted my knowing.
So I am very much a knower.
I am also a person who assessesvery quickly when I meet someone
.
I will see you're reallytrustworthy or maybe I need to
be a little bit more cautious ofyou.
(31:51):
And I think too, because I wasthe new kid at school all the
time, like I was the kid at thefront of the class here's the
new kid, meet the new kid, right.
And I knew that everyone inthat room is deciding is she
cool?
Does she go in the cool kidsclub?
Does she go in the smarty pantsclub?
Does she go in the bully club?
Is she a tough kid and so I'mused to people like making that
(32:12):
assessment and I think I learnedreally quickly how to navigate
all of that and so I rely onthat sense of knowing when I'm
working with an executive, whenI'm working with a meeting
planner.
So, yeah, very much.
I think my sequencing is I knowfirst, then I feel, then I
think.
But I'm very, very strategic,so I'm very good at coming up
(32:34):
with strategy for others, but Ijust know and that is very
frustrating to people around youif you're a Noah.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
I can imagine.
But you seem to take everyelement in your life, from Noah
young days to current days, anduse them, use all of those
stepping stones that have ledyou to where you are.
Have you had to think aboutthat a lot, or do you just kind
(33:02):
of constantly assess, moveforward, assess, move forward?
Speaker 3 (33:07):
I've always been curious and I'm sometimes
fascinated with how do we teachthe world to be more curious,
right?
And so I would always think,well, what's that about to be
more curious?
Right?
And so I would always think,well, what's that about, how do
I solve that, how do I fix that,how do I help that?
And so this curiosity that I'vehad as a kid also serves me
very well as an adult For peoplelistening.
I'm a little old lady, so, like,I'm curious, I am very, very
(33:29):
curious, and I think that levelof curiosity, amy, just makes us
better.
I also believe that we havethis time on this planet to do
as much as we can and make themost of the days we have.
When I find myself, like somany of your listeners,
mindlessly scrolling onInstagram watching cat videos,
sometimes I'm like that's what Iwant to do.
It makes me laugh.
I love my cat, his name isHarley.
(33:51):
I'm happy, right, becausethat's what we need, right.
But when I find myself doing itbecause I'm procrastinating on
something, the deeper questionthen is what am I
procrastinating?
Why am I watching these catvideos which I love, make me
laugh when I really need to bewriting that client proposal,
right, and so I think the senseof curiosity allows me to keep
trying to get better at things.
(34:11):
I also am someone who I feellike we learn these lessons, amy
, not always for our own benefit.
Sometimes it's because we needto be able to share or teach
someone else about it, and sothis because I am so strategic
I'm always looking at what's theprocess behind that, and I have
what I call in my life systemsof elevation, and so I'm always
(34:33):
looking how do I systemize that,like what's the system in place
?
Or trying to understand thesystem.
How did they think that?
Why did they do that?
Once again, curiosity, and so Ithink we can.
All that's accessible to all ofus.
Curiosity costs us nothing.
It does just allow us to take abeat, ask a bigger question, to
think about the impact ofsomething, which sometimes I
(34:54):
have to like think before Ispeak.
I don't know if anyone else onthis, um, listening to this has
that, but every small reportcard I got as a kid, amy always
said she is a good student, butshe talks too much.
My whole life, even mycorporate career, right.
I remember one of my bosseswrote this comment and they were
like Neen does not toleratefools, like that was written in
(35:18):
my like performance review and Iwas like so what's wrong with
that?
Speaker 2 (35:21):
I know I expected that as compliment.
I should score high there.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
Right, and so I think you know, think about, like all
of these things we've beentalking about Contagious
confidence, right, energymanagement, attention management
, curiosity they're all part ofwhat we were referring to as,
let's call it our ladyshiptoolkit To the gentleman
listening, you can call itleadership toolkit, but these
all form part of who you are andhow you show up in the world.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
Yeah, yeah, well, and you're able to use them and
you've had some changes.
I mean, a lot of people wouldsay in your corporate world you
should be comfortable and that'slike you've got this guarantee,
you've got bosses that love you, you've got abilities to say
your mind, you.
You've got that credibilitythat you've earned.
(36:09):
But you went out away from thatlittle safe and I say safe
because being an entrepreneurmeans you're on the other side
of the desk and sometimes that'sa little more challenging or
different challenging.
So, while you were making thatswitch, was it a dream of yours?
(36:31):
Was it something that youwished?
Did you make a change fromwishing and dreaming to making
it a reality?
What led you to where you are?
I?
Speaker 3 (36:42):
think several things, amy, when I look back on my
life like we all need to fromtime to time.
We already have established I'mvery curious, right, and I
always think I can solveeverything.
We already have established.
I'm very curious, right, and Ialways think I can solve
everything.
But as a little girl, seeingwhat my mom would do and work as
(37:02):
hard as she did it, drove me tonever want to be like that.
So I wanted to always be ableto afford whatever and to be
able to share with whatever wecould, because my mom was very
generous.
She was always sharing, eventhough we didn't have much right
.
So that was a key driver for mewas I want to be able to do
more, see more, be in the world,go and actually see the world.
My Auntie Carol is one of mybiggest role models and she is
(37:24):
this cheekiest laugh.
She's really sassy.
My mom's sifter and AuntieCarol had this wild sense of
adventure.
I'm from a tiny town inAustralia.
Like there was like one trafficlight when I was growing up and
my Auntie Carol decided in thistiny little town she was going
to go to Greece.
She was going to go to Greece.
Like she learned Greek.
This is before the internetpeople.
(37:45):
She decided she was going toplan this trip and off she went.
And I think I was so inspiredby her wanting to see the world,
amy, that that became part ofmy driver as well.
Change is something that I crave.
Comfort makes me scared.
If I'm too comfortable, I freakout a little bit.
So when I was in my corporatecareer, if you track my banking
(38:06):
career, where I was nine yearsand the reason I left is I was
too scared to celebrate 10 yearsso if you track my career, you
will see that I moved on averageevery 10 months.
And here's my strategy.
I realized very quickly itwould take me three months to
learn the job, six months tomaster it.
Nine months to find and trainmy successor so that within 12
(38:29):
months I could move out of thatrole and into something else.
So I was always looking for mynext.
So, three months to learn it.
I would get to know it, I woulddocument it, I'd operationalize
it.
Six months so I could teachsomeone else right, so I could
master it.
Nine months I'd find the personI thought would be my successor
or someone I would start towhen I went on vacation.
I'd encourage them to do myrole or whatever.
(38:49):
So if you track my career onaverage I moved every 10 months
and so what I've noticed withwhen I'm coaching my CEOs, I can
help them get transformationreally quickly if they apply
some of the systems.
And I've watched as some ofthem have really had
transformations because they'veapplied some of the thinking,
these mindsets that I've broughtto it.
(39:09):
So I do crave change.
Comfort concerns me.
If I'm like too comfortable,I'm thinking, oh, what am I
missing?
Who am I not serving?
What am I not doing?
So my husband will tell you Ican't stay still.
That's something that peopleI'm sure have gathered by
listening to this.
At the speed at which I work,the speed of my speak and that
energy I'm so responsible for myenergy and I think, as women,
(39:31):
we have to think about our ownenergy management.
We gift so much to so many, sooften, that we also need to take
time to think about whatrecharges you Like, how do you
re-energize?
I literally schedule recoveryin my calendar and in my day and
I think that's a privilege anda luxury.
I understand that, but even if,for some of you listening, you
(39:53):
could just find those fiveminutes of recovery just for
yourself.
I think that's really importantfor the energy you need to be
able to give out.
Yeah, even sitting in thecorporate world, sitting at your
desk, sometimes Even more sobecause you've got old people
all the time saying do you havea minute, do you have a second?
Do you have?
It's never a minute, it's nevera minute, it's never a second.
(40:17):
People are interrupting you allthe time and you go from one
meeting to the next.
All you hear all day is sorryI'm late, sorry, I'm late, sorry
I'm late, because we're inthese virtual calls all day and
then we're on email all night.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
So I think it's even harder in the corporate world
yeah, so have you seen a lot ofchange in the businesses that
you're working with, say, in thelast five, six years, with the
CEOs and with finding thedifferent motivations within
their both boardrooms and justin their corporations?
Speaker 3 (40:43):
When I wrote the book Exceptional Experiences, what I
realized is there's twooutcomes from the book how do
you capture mindshare and how doyou capture market share?
And every CEO that I work withis reliant on that.
They have to think about how dothey capture mindshare clients
that they want to work with andteam members they want to
recruit and stay and retain andthen how do they drive market
(41:06):
share?
How do their shareholders stayhappy, their boards stay happy,
their teams stay happy.
So if you think about the lensthat I see the world through
mindshare and market share so domy CEOs.
That hasn't changed.
Now what does change for themis the global situations, the
economic environment, thepolitical and societal
(41:26):
conversations that occur, and sowhat I've seen my CEOs have to
navigate is such insanely,ridiculously challenging
changing times.
Because think about it right now, at the time of recording, we
have come out of a globalsituation where the whole world
(41:46):
was on fire, and then AI hasbecome a really big part of our
conversation.
I am pro-AI, I embrace it, Iuse Claude, I say Claude is my
boyfriend, I talk to him all day.
I think it can give usincredible insights, but it will
never replace human connection,and I think in our digital AI
(42:08):
world, we crave that human touch, that human connection.
We crave that human touch, thathuman connection.
And so I think, with my CEOs,they will always have an
important role, as long as theyunderstand that everybody at
their core wants to be seen andheard, and I think that will
never change.
But what we sometimes getdistracted by is our email, our
(42:32):
meetings, our stakeholders, ourKPIs, all of these things where
everyone's trying to pull in ourattention.
See, I think, amy, everybodywants our attention.
Not everybody deserves ourattention.
All CEOs have to chooseattention management.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
I think that's true.
And then I think that we'vealso had some fears for CEOs of
like the more you know, the moreyou get involved, the more you
know you have to watch this andwatch that and be sure you don't
say this or you makeopportunity for that, and so it
becomes kind of a little scaryplayground where they're like no
, I'm just going to stay in myoffice, it's safer here.
Speaker 3 (43:14):
Yeah, but like safe and comfortable that.
Like I said, that concerns me,right?
So the best CEOs that I knowhave the courage, the courage to
be able to develop the teamaround them, to be as informed
as they can be.
The best athletes have coaches,the best CEOs have coaches, and
so I know my role as aconfidant to CEOs around the
(43:34):
world.
I know that just sometimes,having someone outside who can
be objective, who can providethat sort of sounding board for
you, is important.
But it doesn't matter whetheryou're a CEO listening to this
or not.
You're the CEO of your life,you're the CEO of your house,
you're the CEO of the committeesyou chair, the boards you serve
on.
So you know you are the chiefexperience officer of everything
(43:58):
that you're doing.
So really, everyone listeningto this is a CEO.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
Yeah, I like the chief experience officer Right.
Yeah, so can you tell when youneed to have an adventure?
I mean all the time.
Speaker 3 (44:12):
Yeah, I, amy, ask anyone in my life.
I'm always planning my nextvacation, and while I'm on
vacation, I need to know when mynext vacation is.
The lifestyle that I've chosen,amy, is I spend my life on
planes, in conference rooms,boardrooms, convention centers,
and so some people will drive towork, I fly, it's the same.
It's just that the conferencesthat I speak at, the client
(44:35):
sites that I'm visiting, theyjust don't happen to be in my
backyard.
I'd love to do more local work,but here we are.
And so, as I also have thissense of adventure from my
Auntie, carol, I'm sure of it,and the vacation could sometimes
be a staycation, like I'veflown a girlfriend in just to
stay in Tampa and we stayed at abeautiful hotel just so that we
could have a little adventuretogether without everyone else
(44:55):
around us.
So I think adventures to me too, it could be choosing to hike a
beautiful trail.
That's something that I lookforward to, right, I've really
got into, like there's a thingin Tampa called puppy yoga, and
I'm obsessed, right, oh, mygoodness, I know.
So you do yoga with puppies?
I mean, come on like, and Ihave a cat, right?
So I'm never going to have apuppy.
So this is my way of being ableto play with puppies.
(45:18):
I volunteer at the HumaneSociety.
These are adventures to me.
So adventure doesn't have to bea paid vacation, although I'm
here for all of that.
Adventure could be something.
(45:39):
It could be a new restaurantyou want to try, or taking
yourself out for lunch.
Like so many people I knowdon't like dining alone.
I mean, that's my realitybecause I travel, right.
But maybe your adventure ishaving the courage to go to a
movie all by yourself or like.
Do you know what I mean?
Like?
Speaker 2 (45:43):
so I think they have so that campaign moment.
Speaker 3 (45:49):
You got it.
Hashtag champagne momenttagging James.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
I love it.
So Do you have to forgiveyourself sometimes where you're
falling short of these fantasticelements that lead you down
this great life and path?
But do you have to stop and notbe hard on yourself sometimes
and maybe forget, are we?
Speaker 3 (46:13):
talking daily or hourly.
I mean honestly, like I thinkabout this.
Right, we say something stupidand it's so easy to ruminate in
something.
Right, it's easy for us to gooh why did I say that?
Or I should have said this.
But here's what I realized.
Yes, I have to forgive myselfall the time, but we can't
organize history, so I can't goback and change the conversation
(46:35):
.
I can't go back and suck thosewords back into my mouth.
Let's just say, if I saysomething stupid, I speak for a
living, so I'm obviously goingto say something that I don't.
I don't script everything.
You and I didn't scriptanything we talked about today,
right, and so when we listen toit back, hopefully it's of value
to our listeners.
But I know we had fun havingthe chat, so, yeah, but I think
forgiveness is a thing that isreally easy to do for others.
(46:57):
It's much harder to do forourselves, because I guarantee
you would never say to agirlfriend the kind of things
you say to yourself.
That would never, ever happen.
And so we beat ourselves upabout the food we ate, the
scales, the way our clothes fit,the conversations we had, like
name it, women are brilliant atthis.
If there is an award for beingable to beat yourself up.
(47:19):
Women are great at it, right?
So I don't want anyonelistening to this thinking that
I don't do that.
Of course.
I stand on the scales and I'llbe like, oh, I know why that is
right.
So it can send me in a spiralor I can say, okay, that's the
consequences of way too muchchampagne this weekend, Like now
you need to be an adult and getit together, or whatever.
So, yeah, absolutely, I thinkwe all do things, but we are so
(47:43):
much more focused on us thanpeople are on us, and so if we
can just extend that grace toourselves like we would to
others, I think we show up somuch more powerfully as leaders,
and that's how you be anexceptional leader.
Speaker 2 (47:57):
Yeah, well, and you've mentioned grace a couple
of times and that I think thatif women have a shortfall, it's
the amount of grace that theyoffer.
Lack of grace, right, lack ofexactly.
So we've talked about a lot ofthings.
Is there anything that wehaven't touched on that you want
(48:18):
to make sure that we do?
And if this were your platformand you could yell something
really loudly, what would beyour message?
Speaker 3 (48:35):
is.
We have a responsibility tocreate significant moments for
people, and my responsibility isto make sure every person that
I meet feels seen and heard.
So if there's one thing I wouldask all of our listeners to
think about today, as you gothrough your day, everyone that
you meet, if you could give themthe gift of your undivided
attention, allow them to feelseen and heard.
That's the platform.
I just want everyone to feelseen, heard and valued, and that
(48:58):
that's what luxury is all about.
Speaker 2 (49:01):
I agree wholeheartedly.
Now tell us how to look for thebook, how do we pre-order, how
do we follow you all of thosegoodies?
Speaker 3 (49:13):
Well, you and I got connected on Instagram, so I
play there every day, so you canfollow my adventures on
Instagram.
At Neen James that's theeasiest place to find me my
website by the same nameN-E-E-N-J-A-M-E-Scom you can
find the new book ExceptionalExperiences all the places you
love to buy books.
As a little girl, amy, I lovedindependent bookstores, so I
(49:35):
encourage you.
If you have one in your localarea, you can use bookshoporg to
find it and pre-order it.
You can obviously get it fromall of the places like Amazon,
barnes, noble, target, and sowhat I'd encourage people to do
is don't just buy a copy for you, buy a copy for a girlfriend as
well, so you can read ittogether and then you can share
the experience with others.
Speaker 2 (49:56):
That is fabulous.
I cannot thank you enough.
I feel encouraged, inspired andchallenged, so thank you so
much for joining us.
Speaker 3 (50:07):
It's my privilege and thank you for what you're doing
in the world.
It makes such a big impact, Amy.
Speaker 1 (50:12):
Oh, thank you, Thank you Down my yellow brick road
and I stomp to the beat of myown drum.
I got my pockets full of dreamsand they're busting at the
seams, going boom, boom, boom Tomy own song.
Speaker 4 (50:44):
Gotta stomp to my own drum.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
Stomp to my own song.
Find Stacked Keys Podcast onSpotify, soundcloud and iTunes
or anywhere you get yourfavorite podcast.
Listen You'll laugh out loud,you'll cry a little, you'll find
yourself encouraged.
Join us for casual conversationthat leads itself based on
where we take it, from family tophilosophy, to work, to meal
(51:10):
prep, to beautifully survivinglife.
And hey, if I could ask a bigfavor of you, go to iTunes and
give us a five rating.
The more people who rate us,the more we get this podcast out
there.
Thanks, I appreciate it.
I think we'll be all right.
Speaker 4 (51:30):
When I let myself go with the night.
Gotta stomp to my own drum,Stomp to my own song.
Stomp hey Gonna put on my bootsand move.
Gotta stomp to my own drum.
Stomp to my own song.
Speaker 1 (52:01):
Stomp.
Hey, ooh, ooh, ooh, I got a keyto all my Wants and all my
dreams, yeah.
Speaker 4 (52:16):
Cause I Stomp to my own drum.
Stomp to my own song.
Stomp, hey, gonna, put on myboots and Move fast.
Stomp to my own drum.
Stomp to my Big drum.
Stomp to my own drum.
Stomp to my big drum.
Stomp, hey, stomp, hey, wow,wow, wow.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.