#13 Ruan Willow – Exploring Female Sexuality, Finding the Clitoris, Erotic Novels, Sex Toys, Orgasm, Kink, & Relationships Part 2 - STAG

Episode Transcript
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(00:02):
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(00:24):
Thanks for your support. Now here's the interview.
What about the sex work and sexuality and pleasure and how
it, you know, I don't know if you've done any of that
yourself, but how does that translate into like maybe the
female emerging into her own sexuality or exploring and how
that bridges between male and female relations?

(00:45):
Well, interestingly, I have interviewed Madam who is in
Nevada and she yes, oh, that wassuch a fascinating conversation.
So she start, so basically what happened was her husband started
this brothel and of course, so legal in Nevada and, and so, and

(01:08):
then he ended up passing away. So it moved on to her.
So she became the controller, the runner of this brothel, and
talking to her it is. It was so fascinating.
She talks about how. She's not the one out of
Pahrump, is it? No, I'm trying to remember her
name, Bella. Her name is Bella at Bella

(01:30):
Bella's Hacienda. I'm trying to remember if that's
right. I'm really terrible about
remembering these things, but itis on my podcast and I
interviewed her. She was absolutely amazing.
She's like, I don't know, she's like in her 70s or something.
She's like she's, she's older and she talks about how.
Yep, you're right. Bella's Hacienda Ranch, Elko.

(01:51):
Nevada, Yeah, yeah. Oh, psychological, yes, yes,
definitely shout her out. How psychologically supportive,
how meeting a lot of these people are men that are coming,
meeting men where they are in their needs and how this is a
service. This is helping them feel good.
This is helping them meet them in their humanity and it isn't

(02:14):
so much about just making them fucking spew cum out of their
cock. It is meeting them where they
need emotions. And I have talked to people and
I've also talked to phone sex operators where sometimes
they've even just talked with someone for like 3 hours.
It is about human connection more than it is the fucking cum
coming out of your fucking cock.It is human connection.

(02:38):
It is meeting up. A massive, massive point here.
And I, I know somebody who I don't know if she still works
there anymore. She worked at one of the
brothels in Nevada and that's wehad conversations about that and
maybe I should reach out to her.So she'll come on here.
Yeah. That would be an awesome 1.
And she confirms what you said. A lot of the time, I think most

(03:03):
men, and I've we never talked about this, but most men think
that like they're going there and they're getting their asses
stuffed or their Dick sucked or whatever.
And like that's not, that's not what's happening.
What's happening is they're going there and they're crying
and they're getting hooked. They're getting their emotional
needs. Yeah, they're, they're getting
nurtured by women who are nurturers.

(03:25):
It's crazy. It's crazy.
Like crazy in a good way. Like, because the as a dude, you
know, we have a Hollywood version of what a good time
those places should be. And that's not what's happening.
They're that's. The hollow version.
Yeah, they're hippie healing centers is what they are.
Yes, A. 100% yeah, they're hippie hospitals.
Yeah, for the emotionally wanteddude.

(03:48):
Oh, yeah, for sure. And it's amazing.
I've talked to, I've even talkedto a woman in France who, who
is, what do you call her? I don't know what you call her,
Madam. She provides sexual experiences
for men, but the most of what she does is psychological.
And she talks about that and howshe meets them.

(04:11):
And it's just, it's absolutely amazing to me.
I think it's just why? Why do we have to reduce it to
coming? You know, there's there's
emotional needs that need to be met and this is a beautiful
thing. And yet it is seen as as so bad
and taboo and evil. Which is funny because now that

(04:32):
we're we're bringing this up andit and this pattern of women who
are in these spaces, it's like it's, it's interesting to think
about women as the role of the nurturer.
Yeah. And then it's and then we we
kind of open the door to this world of where where men kind of

(04:55):
seek their wildest dreams. And their wildest dream is to be
nurtured. And like here they are.
And here women meeting men with to be mad.
Like it's just so funny. It's just a different way of
approaching it. And we're still finding those
connections and, and it's still having the same conversations

(05:15):
and having the same impact on each other's lives from the
gender roles, but it just looks a little bit different, right?
Right. It looks a little bit different,
but that but and again, why is that such a bad thing?
You know, like her whole thing was, why not make it legal
across the country in different pockets to have brothels?

(05:38):
This is going to perhaps reduce assault.
This could reduce attacks like. Why not make areas where this is
OK? Right now, I think that's a
that's a massive point. I know that there was a movement
in Nevada to really push to expand some of those liberties
there because the for all the, for all the points that you were

(06:02):
making. Also, I think they were trying
to unionize the the sex workers or something because.
They were they. Were they were getting really
shafted especially during the COVID era?
Oh my gosh, I talked to her about that because.
They weren't allowed to do any of the like, unemployment or
anything. But this was the crazy part, she
said. They would open their doors for

(06:24):
men to come in and just like, sit down with these women and
watch a fucking movie. Sit down and hold their fucking
hand. And men still wanted to do it.
It wasn't just about coming. It was about that human
connection piece that they were missing in their lives.

(06:44):
And these women provided it. I'm going to interview a dude,
and this is interesting. He's in, he's in Czechoslovakia.
I don't know, what the fuck do they call it now?
Is it Czechoslovakia? I don't know.
I'm so bad about knowing the current terms of countries.
If it's wrong, he'll correct you.
I know, right? But this is what he does.
He does this for women and he's going to come on my podcast.

(07:05):
I'm super excited to talk with him.
He provides this experience for women to help them heal and he
he provides escort services to help them heal.
And and it isn't always this hardcore fucking.
It's sometimes it's just about meeting them where they have
lacking of their needs, where they are sorely hurting.
And he deals with women. And so that's interesting to me

(07:28):
too, to think about the difference between yeah, I
cannot wait to talk to him. It's going to be so interesting.
Yeah, that's, that's really, really, really fascinating
because that's something that doesn't, is not, that's not like
a common thing, right. No, no.
And it's in Europe. So it's a total different thing.

(07:49):
Like I think that they have a different, they have such a
different view of sex over there, right.
I mean, I, I sometimes wish I would move over there because
they are so much more open aboutsexuality like this.
Is this OK? I interviewed this dude who who
teaches about sexuality and he said the people from America
that come to me for help say to me, how can I get rid of this

(08:09):
shame? How can I get rid of this guilt?
Right? And the people in Europe that
come to him for help. You know what they say my
partner wants to do this kink. How can I make it good for them?
Like look at the difference between those two different
things of those two different clients.
That's. Crazy, right?
What do you what do you think that you're would you would say

(08:30):
that your biggest frustration with like the common man man's
approach to to maybe sex and sexuality and this kind of
thing. I think it's like you were
saying, putting them on a pedestal and not treating them
like another human being. You need to treat them like,
like you. You want to fucking come, right?

(08:52):
Well, she fucking wants to come too.
And if she doesn't want to come,it's likely because she has not
experienced that yet. You need to help her, help her
experience that, Help her be OK with all that shit.
Because she might be so stuck that she doesn't even understand
what she needs to do to try and accept it to to live in that

(09:18):
realm. We're really fucked as women in
this country. We are fucked until we're not,
and like me, until we're not. Do do you really think so?
What do you think is the biggestcontributor to that?
I think it's culture, I think it's religion.
I think it's just our our culture and the way we view

(09:39):
things like our education. Like it could be so much better
if you, if you taught people that our sexual organs were for
pleasure and connection to ourselves and to others instead
of it being taboo. Oh, don't get this disease.
Oh, don't get pregnant. This is how you're, you know,

(10:00):
and I think, I think you still need to understand menstruation
and the whole cycle, right? Like you need to understand
that, you know, like, I don't think that's something that
should not be taught. I just think it's lacking it it
we need to have consent. We need to have talk about it
being pleasurable. Even 1 fucking sentence sex
between two people is pleasurable.

(10:21):
Couldn't they even fucking say that?
Right. Why can't they even fucking say
that? Sex is intimacy.
It's a it's, it's a really fun, I don't know, make it really
super vanilla. It's a super fun hug between a
man and a woman or a partner anda partner, Right?
Like, can you just even say that?
Could you even use the word pleasure at all?

(10:43):
Just even a little bit. Well, it's just really
fascinating to think about the dynamics between today and when
I was in, you know, that age, the younger age of like, when
we're doing like, sex Ed and stuff or fifth grade is when
they would teach us. Oh yeah, And it's like back then
we still had the DARE program too, right?

(11:03):
And it's like. Yes.
So everything was like super scary and a no, no, and we like
abstinence and drug free and like all that.
And like now we're at a point where like, you know, you go,
you can buy pot in the corner store and like, it's not a big
deal. And it's like, what the fuck
happened, dude? Right.
And like, and for some reason it's I think there's just a lot

(11:26):
of confusion around the sexuality.
Do you? So my question is like, do you
think that this might be a thingwhere it's there's just too much
conversation happening actually,is that, is that possible?
Right. Where like what you?
At the young age or the older age?

(11:48):
I because it's the older ones who are dictating the younger
policies, right? Like like right, because it's
adult dictating the the educational policies.
And the curriculums they need tofucking grow up and realize that
we're all humans. I attribute it to a bunch of
fucking old dude prudes who are fucking dictating this shit.
And you know, I'm really glad I live in the state I live in

(12:11):
because it is not as like, I don't want to move to Texas.
No fucking way. I don't want to move to Florida.
No fucking way. There is no fucking way.
I want to live in that climate where they are so restrictive.
They're burning books. They're banning them.
They're preventing sex education.
The best way to teach people is to educate them.

(12:33):
Why are they stripping educationaway?
This makes no fucking sense. It's control.
My question follow up to that iswhat, what responsibility do you
think parents have in in this realm, right?
And should that responsibility, that burden fall squarely on the

(12:57):
shoulders of education? And secondly, what does that
responsibility look like for forwomen and for men as as parents?
Yeah, I think it it should be it, it should be discussed.
I mean, I guess that's very true.
You know, like you might get these kind of education, you
know, in high school or, you know, elementary school, middle

(13:19):
school. But if your parents can talk to
you about sex, that's a whole different thing.
Like that whole woman, the wholestory of the woman who gave her
daughter a sex toy and said learn your body, you know, and
they think parents have a, a huge role in that.
But the problem is so many parents don't feel comfortable
doing that because of the way they were raised.
So this is like a self perpetuating cycle that at some

(13:43):
point people need to break and if they don't it's a problem.
Like, for instance, I just interviewed also a woman who is
a porn star and she her kids, her younger two kids do not know
what she does, but her older daughter does.
She's like 18. And I said to her, I said, you

(14:04):
know, I, I bet your kids are growing up in a much different
environment than a lot of people.
Like sex is OK. She said, yes, they are.
And my daughter knows what I'm doing and, and she knows that.
So like, think about what a different perspective that
daughter has of sex and sexuality and then someone
growing up in a different family.

(14:25):
So like, it it, it is definitelydriven by parents as well.
But also there's a lot of parents who are still suffering
from their own oppression, suppression.
So there's this this thing of trying to get parents to open up
and embrace their own sexuality and be able to talk about it and

(14:45):
then be able to talk about it with their kids.
That's a lot of barriers to bakes for Breakthrough, right?
Right. And so like, because I'm, I'm
generally of the mind, like I'm very open and like liberal about
things in the sense that like I,I think everyone should be able
to do whatever they want to do as long as they're not hurting
themselves. You're another human being and,

(15:06):
and it's, you know, within the realms of the law, obviously,
but it's like, and so like I take this approach to if I was
just talking to this guy about this actually the other day, I,
I, I agree that the education system today is like in absolute

(15:30):
fucking shambles. And I, I would I that that that
burden of educating my child falls on my shoulders.
And if my child is not really like realizing a quality
education, it is up to me as itsprovider and shepherd in this
world until they are 18 to provide the best that I can

(15:50):
because that's what I would wantfrom my child.
And so if that means that I haveto be a stay at home dad and
take care of my child and educate them or be a part time
dad, whatever the fuck it is like, I'm going to do that
because that is my responsibility.
And it's not the responsibility of my government to shepherd my
child into the world. And I also would prefer that my

(16:11):
child was a free thinker and a critical thinker.
And the government does a reallyfucking awesome job of
indoctrinating fucking workers and in a certain mindset,
depending on what what fucking side of, you know, the political
spectrum wins that race. This, you know, the during that
time, it's like it's fucking annoying and it's not reality.

(16:35):
And it's like it's this constantback and forth.
And and so the same comes to when like the world of
sexuality, right? Like there's no pretending that
as a, as a young adult emerging into the world, that they're not
going to experience these thingsand that there's not fucking
shitty experiences or people outthere or good experiences and

(16:55):
nice people out there, and that all, all aspects of life should
be shared with them. And so I mostly view the, you
know, you know, the, you know, hey, parents, we're, it's 5th
grade. We're about to do the sex Ed
thing. I mostly view that as a nudge to
like, hey, we don't know what your culture is.
We don't know what your ideals are, but they're, it's time

(17:18):
because we don't want to deal with your fucking problems.
I kind of view it that way. And, and my parents allowed that
experience to be the only sexualeducation that I received.
And that was a fucking shame. Right.
And and it might be their limitations that they were
taught and so again. Right.

(17:40):
That's really hard because they were taught that they were
forced into that. It wasn't like they, I mean,
maybe if they had a choice, theywouldn't have wanted that, but
they felt so like forced into itthat that's what they did
because they didn't feel like itwas OK to do anything else.
Right. So then my question is it it
like you, I might be reading this wrong, but it seems like

(18:03):
you come from a perspective, you're at a perspective where
there are people who may not know any better.
And it is up to the community because we all engage in the
same community to take care of their their own.
And so if there's information that we can share with you, it
is that we have a moral responsibility to share that

(18:23):
with you. Is that correct?
I, I do think that that we should share that because of the
limitations, because of our culture, if our culture is much
more open, I might feel differently.
But since our culture is so restrictive, I feel like, you
know, if we, if we don't teach them more, it's perpetuating the
restriction. It's perpetuating the non

(18:45):
talking, the non communication. You're right.
So then my, my, I guess what I'mtrying to understand is like,
how far do we go? Are we like, are we like Mormons
knocking at the door to pass on some information?
Or are we like CPS? Do you see what I'm saying?
Like where, where, where is it like, how appropriate is it to

(19:07):
respond to to a situation where,you know, a parent might not
know, maybe they haven't emergedand dealt with their own shit,
but their child is going to emerge into the world and in the
society whether we like it or not.
And ultimately, we have to do something about that, right?
Because that's where you're coming from, right?
Yeah, I just, I don't know, I guess I feel like we owe it to

(19:28):
people to teach humanity and then we don't teach them the
full realm of sexuality. Not that you have to get
pornographic. If you don't teach them the full
realm of of what sexuality is, you're doing a disservice and
you're perpetuating. Responsibility to share and and
acknowledge that there is information out there and that

(19:49):
gotcha. Especially if it's uneven, if
you're going to, if you're goingto have sex Ed where you show a
figure of a penis or you take the condom and you put it on
fucking banana, OK, that's simulating a cock.
But you don't even say the word clitoris or pleasure or even
acknowledge that it's pleasurable to women or that

(20:10):
that there is anything. There's so much lacking for for
the female mention of sexuality.It's just and it's not equal.
It's it's, it's just proportional and you're
highlighting, you're right from the get go highlighting that the
penis is more important than theclit.

(20:31):
Yeah, right. I mean, that makes a lot of
sense. And I think that that is
something that should be addressed If, if it's still like
that, I'm, I have no idea, right?
And I, I do, I mean, I do wish that there was more dudes who
would just pick up a fucking book or like pick up their
fucking phone and like do research on literally anything

(20:54):
and like. Right.
And, and especially in this realm, right where, you know,
there's this this whole fucking like retard extremist movement
of dudes who are just emerging as in cells and like, it's, you
know, there's, there's, I just don't want to name drop people
because I, I fucking hate doing that.

(21:16):
And then there's another to likethere's like this dark side of
dudes who are, you have their own leader.
And then like there's this otherside in academia who's trying to
push back on that and they're doing the same thing and they're
both doing a fucking massive disservice.
And really it's like it just takes like a more practical

(21:38):
approach and it's having conversations and allowing
people to make their own decisions and leveling the
playing field. Though to your point, it's like
if if we're going to do it, let's have a full last
conversation about it and not leave anybody out and put all
the cards on the table and let people decide.
Right, like if you're hiding information you're already

(21:58):
setting up people for dissatisfaction for and not
understanding each other. I mean, I grew up in a time
where, like I said, I didn't even really understand or know
the word clitoris for the majority of my fucking life and
it's a body part of mine. How would you feel if nobody

(22:19):
said the word penis to you untilyou were 45?
I, I would feel like I would have got a lot more done in my
life. I know what you mean.
I'm just making it. I would have been way more
successful and I would have not had so many slowdowns.

(22:42):
It's good times. But yeah, no, I totally, I
totally get there. There is a different tuning to
1's body that that is gender related specific, specific for
gender related. Like I for sure, like it's, it's

(23:03):
very palpable and clear that like as a female, these things
have a very, very important rolesymbolically to play.
And I think that it's even unfair as as a male to say that
because if the roles were flipped, we would be having the

(23:25):
same conversation. Right.
And that's a lot of conversationthat goes on is that if things
were flipped, how would men feel?
And instead of feeling entitled,think about how you would feel.
Like for instance there's a discussion around birth control
where all the things that women,the side effects that women have

(23:47):
from the birth control pill werethe same things that men felt
when there was a men controlled birth control situation going
on, but they stopped that one and perpetuated the female one
even though it's the same symptoms that were negative.

(24:09):
Right now, I mean, it's like, I think the conversations are just
like really uncomfortable for men because they're just or it
and there's just, I don't know where that taboo comes from.
Like honestly, I have no idea. I know that there's some
cultural ones, but like outside of some very specific ones, I'm

(24:33):
not sure like why, Like what what is keeping us from having
those conversations? And I don't know if it's a
maturity thing or what it is, but I really hope that like
maybe the younger generations kind of pick up on it and kind

(24:53):
of open the door to just having more conversations.
You don't have to do any like just have more conversation.
Just open the door and be willing to sit at the table and
discuss things like and and I I just can't help but think that
it's a maturity thing like. Yeah, yeah, I think it is too.
And I think it's an acceptance thing too.
Like I've interviewed people much younger than myself and
they are so much more open to the whole pronouns thing.

(25:16):
Well, I have women that are my age and older who talked to me
about like, well, why do I have to say what my pronoun is?
I just am like, if you, why is it that hard for you to declare
your, to declare your pronouns? Like why?
It's like it's saying that otherones can't exist.
Like, why is it hard for you to say that?
And it's interesting to me to look at these two different

(25:37):
dynamics between the, the, the generations.
And so that's what gives me hopeis to see the younger
generations who are like, Oh, it's OK to say I'm she her or
I'm they them. And like, oh, OK, sure.
That's what you are. OK, good.
And then you have these older generations or freaking trying
to like clamp down on me. Like, no, you don't exist.

(25:57):
You can't exist. Like I'm just kind of like, shut
the fuck up, grumpy old man, getthe fuck out of my fucking face.
And I'm midlife and I'm like, get the fuck out of my face.
These younger people. Or accepting that you can define
your own self. This is the way it's supposed to
be. It's this big.
Yeah, there's a. Generation.
Sitting over here thinking that everyone's retarded and

(26:19):
everyone's right. No, and, and I think like to be
fair though it, it seems that there's two conversations and it
just seems like we're going backto the conversation thing.
Seems like there's two conversations happening and the
conversations are not even usingthe same lexicon and they're not
using like they're it. It's unfair because the

(26:40):
conversation is not happening inthe same room with the same
people at the same table. Right.
Like aren't people all just all people?
Like this is the problem. Are we like people who are
different? Are they're still just people?
They're still people. Let's go back to being human and
that we're people instead of like trying to reform it into

(27:00):
something that it's not. We're human.
Let's accept that and just live that way instead of like trying
to like, reform people into whatyou think they should be.
Yeah. And I think the fundamental
principle there is like is like being respectful and identifying

(27:20):
the humanity another person and like just like bare bones
principles of like, you know, asking questions, being
respectful and like treating somebody how you did and like,
it's so forthright A. 100%. And I, I, I struggle with that
sometimes, but I, I genuinely try to like engage somebody

(27:42):
like, you know, like the, I, I, the only way I can put it is
like a child of God, not to get like religious into this and
like bring religion into this, but it's just like, it grounds
it very specifically, right? Like a child of the spirit or
whatever you want to call it, right?
Like it's just, it's, there's a person and that person was a

(28:07):
little person one time and then they emerged into the world in
this body that grew. And like whatever exists inside
of there also exists inside of me.
And, and I try to operate from there.
And I believe me, I fucking failall the time.
But I think there's this, this energy or something, I don't

(28:30):
know what it is like that peoplehave just fucking given up on
that, even trying to see that. And I think I think more younger
generations are identifying that.
And, and it's a, it's kind of a shame that we are like, it just

(28:51):
seems like profit over everything.
It's fucking annoying. It's so fucking annoying.
That is, but you know, I see a lot of restriction and I don't
accept it. And I, I have hope that things
are going to change. And the the interesting thing is
all these people who are restrictive maybe who are older

(29:17):
and they're sitting there spewing all the stuff, but they
do not realize how finite their time is on this planet and
everything is going to change and they do not have the control
they think they do. Yeah, You know, and I want to
ask you like why I'm going to pause on that one.

(29:42):
I'll come back to that one, but.You can ask me anything.
No, to your point, it's like I want to just highlight that
they're on both sides of this. There's This is why I just say
everyone's LAR ping and it doesn't actually fucking matter,
right, like in respectfully though, like I know people who
were like like I like I said, I'm very much like just don't,

(30:08):
don't be a fucking asshole and I'm not going to treat like 1
and that's really what it is. And then outside of that I don't
shit dude like. I agree with you.
But I, I know people who were onboth sides of that, that
political spectrum and like or existence or way of life or way
of being and in both sides dug their fucking heels and real

(30:28):
hard. And it was funnier to see it on
the right leaning side because in a lot of those people were
just fucking like, it was a constant pivoting right.
So like, like, oh, we like, we don't like gays.

(30:54):
And it's like, yeah, but like you have family members who are
gay. It's like, but that's different,
right? Where it's like we, we don't
like blue hairs because fucking whatever.
And it's like, but like your fucking niece has blue hair.
It's like, but that's different.It's right.
And so like, it's this constant like bearing in themselves in
the fucking nonsense. And it becomes so like, so

(31:17):
ironic, right? And it's it's like like is
watching somebody who claims to be like a right winger, like
project all of this like macho shit nonsense.
And then it's like, but you are all of the you exist in the
world of all the things that youdon't like.
And it's like it's you're it. It's almost insulting to watch.

(31:41):
It is right like, and if I was somebody who really believed
that shit, I would call that outand be like, get this fucking
clown out of here. You're you're a fucking poser.
This is stupid. This is stupid.
And and this is the point I was wanted to make was like, there
is so many fucking dudes in thisworld who do not fucking stand

(32:03):
for anything. And they're just like, it's
just, they go into their magic chest of fucking costumes and
they pull one out and they put one on.
And that's what they are until fucking somebody says no or they
realize this one's not for me. And they're constantly fucking
pivoting. And these are the same fucking
dudes who like, you know, turnedinto fucking in cells or like

(32:25):
turned into like random bullshitthat like sits on this fucking
mighty throne of nonsense and dictates to the fucking world,
but also complaints and then fucking asks for permission,
which is the the most comical fucking part of all of this.
It's something like, like, why are you doing that?
It's making me feel stupid. And it's like, I thought you

(32:46):
were, man. What is the fucking issue here?
Why are you asking for the world's permission?
Just be. Why are you bothered?
Just be. Right, like it doesn't make.
Sense yeah, you don't like it, fucking change it.
Why are you bitching fucking? Do something.
It literally doesn't make sense.And I don't know is it?
Is it a sense of being lost? Is it a sense of not knowing

(33:06):
yourself? Is it an insecurity?
I I don't know. I don't know, but it culturally
for men, this is a thing that I've noticed and it and it's all
the same men who think that they're fixing everything and it
and it's really bizarre to me because they're all complaining
about all of these problems instead of just fucking fixing
it and they're asking for permission.
But then they're also claiming that men are men who are fucking

(33:28):
stand up with a fucking backbone.
And like, you know, and my, my, my, my analogy or my, my joke is
that there's too many guns and not enough backbone.
And it's like. Like.
It's like there's to me, it's not a like what whatever the
quote man thing is, like you just do whatever the fuck you're

(33:51):
going to do and you just do it. Like you don't ask for
permission. You're it's Forrest Gump, dude,
like you're just running. And if you're doing something
awesome, people will follow you.And when you're done, don't
fucking do it. But the fuck the funniest part
about that is like that is just the principle of like of being
like that is just those are all like spiritual aspects of just

(34:13):
being one with the moment and being a true like Buddha and
being like all of those things that are grasp and spirituality.
And you're you, you like answer and emerge into the world
unfucking, bothered and untethered to fucking worldly
things. And you are stable as a fucking
rock because of it. And it's so weird because that

(34:34):
transcends male and female like understandings and for some
reason we get so fucking lost init.
And then? It's true.
Yeah, and I, I just bringing this up because I am enjoying
this conversation. I've enjoyed the time that
you've put into answering these questions.
And I know that there's fucking dudes out there who are going to
be like, oh, fuck that guy, he'sgay and say, OK, cool dude,

(34:58):
that's fine, this is not for you.
You know what I mean? And like, and that's annoying,
right? But I will tell you that your
opinion is much more sexier thanthose fucking idiots.
And confidence is sexy. Confidence is really fucking
sexy. Whether it's in a man or a
woman. Confidence is fucking sexy.

(35:19):
Yeah, no, most guys are afraid to lose.
I'm not afraid to lose. I'm not afraid to die.
I'm not afraid to, like, give up.
I'm not like any of that becauseI don't take any of this shit
when I'm dead, right? And so, you know, gun to the
head, I'm going to tell you the same fucking thing.
Pull the fucking trigger. I don't care, right?
And like most dudes don't like live in that world, then they're

(35:40):
afraid to lose their job, they're afraid to lose their
houses. They're afraid to lose their,
their, their, their wife, their kid and all this shit.
Because without those things, this fucking castle made of shit
that they've constructed doesn'tactually fucking mean anything.
Because they don't stand for anything when it's all gone and
it's like. What are you?
Are you the image you portray orwho you fucking are?
Right, right, right. And so like, you know, I hope

(36:05):
that there's a a dude out there who who listens to this
conversation and is like, I hopethis guy talks to more women
because I learned so much today.Yeah.
And and I hope that he somebody takes.
Yeah, go ahead. No.
Go ahead. No, no, you please go.
And then I like, I, I hope that like some, some dude out there,

(36:25):
you know, in his 20s and his 30sand his 40s and his fucking 60.
It's like, you know what, I'm going to go fucking ask a, a
female today. Like, can I do something
different? And that's it.
You do like, that's it. How do I, how do I make you come
or yes, whatever the fuck, like something like, Hey, I want to

(36:48):
try something different. Hey, I like, am I pleasuring you
question mark, like something, literally anything.
And I hope that that changes their their life.
Guarantee you if you ask a womanthat and she is not so closed
off that she shuts down, you will fucking improve your
relationship. Yeah, yeah, and, and maybe

(37:11):
you'll find something else out right like that.
Maybe you're just fucking incompatible and like.
True relationship. Yeah.
And that's OK to find out, right?
It'd be OK with that too, to be like, OK, you know, we we don't
match up and people often can change and no longer match up.
And to be OK with that, like, I love the whole Keanu Reeves

(37:33):
where he said, what was it something like someone turned
him down and he's like, OK, thanks.
Fuck. All right, Yeah.
I'll go on to the other whateverbillion number people in the
world and I'll ask them and thenlike, I love that attitude.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I can't sit as a dude.
I can't sit here and and pretendthat like, I just, you know, I

(37:53):
fucking came out of the womb this way.
I I took, I took my lumps and I made some mistakes, right.
And like. Yeah, you.
Know I. You're open, you're open to it.
You, you, you examine things like there's some people that
don't examine it, right? Like they just like everybody
hates me and I hate women and women ate me.
And they just like this little troll attitude.

(38:14):
They go, no, why? Why are you doing that?
This is not reality. And they're not even self aware
or willing to be. Right.
And that's the craziest part. Oh yeah.
Right. You just live in this bubble
where you're where you're you'reGod's gift to this world.
Is it like you? Think it's an entitlement like

(38:35):
people are like just living entitlement.
Like it's like it's a real way to live.
Ruin have you have you not noticed the immense entitlement
that we are a shit is a fucking there's an epidemic of its own
that had emerged and everyone noticed the.
Whole the whole TikTok, TikTok mentality and way of life, right

(38:59):
And what people say. Yeah, I.
Had someone say that to me recently.
We're like, it's the whole TikTok entitlement like this is,
yeah. If he yeah, no, I mean, I think
it came before that the. Whole generation I don't know.
It's. TikTok committed me.
I don't know what it is, but I, I definitely noticed it and it

(39:19):
bums me out because it, I, it's palpable how people have treated
each other differently and, and it's because it, it happened
during a time where I wanted to stop treating people like that.
Right. And and you know.
Really fucking sad. You know how crazy how many
changes have happened even in myown lifetime, Like when I was

(39:39):
when I was young, there was no Internet, right?
Like it didn't exist, right? Like think about how the how
many changes have happened. Like to us, it seems extreme
when about 100 years, people aregoing to look at back at this
and be like, it's going to be a total different perspective than
what we see, but we're fucking immersed in it.
We're fucking living it, right? But think about how many changes

(40:00):
have happened. I mean I went from like when I
was a kid, we had phones with fucking cords, right?
Yeah. To a basic computer in your
hand, like that's crazy. And so think about the changes
of that and how that has actually impacted culture and
relationships in sex. Like.

(40:21):
There was no Internet porn when I was a young kid.
It was you bought a DVD, like, yeah.
So like, I, I interviewed this dude, OK.
And he has a podcast. I've been on his podcast several
times and he's been on mine once.
And he used to do porn. He's like in his 60s and he did
porn. And he talks about how back then
he used to do porn and it was stories.

(40:43):
It was porn stories. And they put him on fucking
DVDs. And he would make so much money
because people had to buy the DVDs.
And he's like, now people sell an entire website of porn for a
fucking dollar. Yeah.
That's crazy, right? Yeah, it's super crazy, He.
Still makes money on his porn. That's the crazy part.

(41:04):
He's retired and he still makes money on his porn.
Has. He got royalties going on on his
porn. Yes, that's so funny.
I know and it was super cool Is his mom found out he was doing
this and he said and she his momwas so cool.
He said whatever you need to do honey to feed your family and
put food on your table. I'm proud of you for doing it.

(41:27):
What an amazing mom. Yeah, very supportive.
Yeah. Sounds like my mom.
Wow. He did.
Oh really? Oh, that's awesome.
Yeah, she yeah, I mean 2-2. Yeah, right.
I don't want to talk I'll to my mom but.
No, no, no. She my mom was super supportive,
but she might have been a littletoo supportive.
Yeah, she she, she could have saved us all some trouble if she

(41:50):
would just said no times. Gotcha.
I'm just messing around that's that's.
Awesome, I know these amazing stories.
Right, but like the, the communication tools and the,
the, the growth and the exponential growth of, of
communication tools that seem tolead to less communication, more
effective communication. It's, it's astounding to me,

(42:12):
right, The that we have more access to each other than ever
before. We know we have more information
at any point. You can just go look at an
entire person's life in like an afternoon and still absolutely
no 0 about them. It's true because what we
portray online, it's not our full selves.
Yeah. And I'm a good example of that.

(42:36):
Oh, interesting. How?
How so? Because I write under my real
name as well and I. Have podcast.
I have a podcast under my real name.
I have books under my real name.I have a website under my real
name, Yeah. Wait, so like what's that go?

(42:58):
Ahead. So all all wait, wait, you're
talking about like the everything that you've put up is
all under your real name. Ruin is my pen name.
Right. OK, that's why that was my
understanding. OK.
And so you also, on top of having this entire library of

(43:18):
exploration and material and content under your your ruined
self, you have an entire other side of this under your real
name. And how do you balance that?
Right now I'm very heaven heavily ruined, but I do have
the other side as well. And I just published a book

(43:42):
under my real name, which is whya contemporary romance, which is
I love this story because it's very empowering for young women
and it's very sexy. And it it's very he's the male
man character is a wonderful andthey call him a cinnamon roll.

(44:03):
Have you heard this before? Maybe this is a a cinnamon roll
character is a male character ina story in a fiction book who is
just very squishy, lovey, loving, caretaking, wonderful
and that they can also have grit.
So my character is this wonderful caretaker.

(44:26):
He is very protective. He's very consent conscious.
He is very caring, but yet he has grits protect her.
So this is one of my favorite characters I've ever written
because he he encompasses. So to me this is like the
ultimate male I mean. It sounds like it.

(44:47):
And so and, and, and in the bookthey don't even have sex, but
but she fucking wants to have sex.
Like she's trying to push it. And he's like, no go, we're not
ready yet because she's not ready.
And, and, and so she's horny andshe wants to do it, but he's
like, no, you're not ready. So he's like my ultimate in all
the characters I've written. Well, maybe one other one in my
in my eye dairy book. He's he's pretty close to he

(45:12):
cares about her so much and he wants to pleasure her so much.
He wants to protect her so much,But he's also very gritty and
like, I'm fucking not letting anything happen to you.
And this is the interesting thing.
Getting back to that dark romance, talk about romance,
dark romance stories. Many women love the characters
of the men who are obsessed withtheir woman and 100% protective

(45:35):
of her at the same time. And it, it, it, it's, it's where
she's central to, to what he thinks is important.
So yeah. What do you call this Cinnamon?
Cinnamon roll, Cinnamon roll, The column is so like there's
these different terms in tropes,sweet to spicy.

(45:59):
That's my my little thing. But yeah, so like, they are.
Cinnamon Roll is a male hero in a story and generally he can
kind of be kind of passive. That's why I like to say
Cinnamon Roll with grit because he has he has he when he needs
to be protective and aggressive,he is.

(46:22):
Yeah, you know, what's funny is like a lot of the dudes I talked
to there, there seems to be somesome through line of like when I
asked the question, like what does it really mean to be a man?
Like what is the man's role and and and family?

(46:43):
When I ask those kind of questions, some guys have said
it on the podcast. I I ask any dude, I mean, just
like if we're talking, I'll justask just because I want to know.
I that was like the whole reasonthis whole thing started and
it's like. I'd like to know too.
Yeah, it, it tends to be a provider and a protector.

(47:05):
And that seems to be what you described with this cinnamon
gentleman. We were.
He's very sweet, kind and, and attentive.
And so he he wants to please thewoman, which is provider, right?
Is that far off? But if he doesn't include her
sexuality, he's out, right? So, so right.
But then it's funny that like dudes are saying that their

(47:28):
understanding of their role is to provide and protect.
And then there seems to be this disconnect on the other side of
that. And it's, it's kind of
fascinating to me because it's, again, it's like, it feels like
we're all speaking the same language, but we're not.
Right. But see, I still, I still want,

(47:50):
I still want my partner to be fully satisfied.
And if my partner is sexually satisfying me, you better
fucking believe I want to fucking sexually satisfy him,
right? Like, that is a drive for me
that is hot, you know? Like I want to satisfy him.
I want to do what he wants. Yeah, how are you doing on time?

(48:12):
I'm good, whatever you want to do.
I go wow, it is 930 holy. Cow I know we just like I know.
I just looked at the time I. Was like super short.
I know I wanted to ask a question and I was like wait a
minute. I'm OK, whatever you want to do,
I'm good with it. So, OK, it's up to you.
Because now I'm curious that you're bringing this up.
What are your thoughts in the realm of bringing other partners

(48:39):
in and how that changes the dynamic and how that can make or
break a relationship versus general exploration?
Right. And I have written several books
that go into the whole swinging ENM, ethical, non monogamous.
I can't say that non monogamous world.

(49:01):
I still said it wrong. But yeah.
So I've interviewed a lot of people that have done that,
people that I I've interviewed atherapist who helps people do
that. I personally think if both
partners are OK with that, it isfine.
But there are a lot of people that get shut down by that

(49:22):
because they feel like it's saying they're not enough.
And to me, it's no different than allowing your partner to
pleasure themselves alone with atoy or go watch porn alone.
If you respect their sexuality and you want them to have
pleasure. Those are the people I think

(49:44):
that can do that kind of thing. People that are maybe more ego
driven with sexuality, more cockdriven.
They can't go there. And there is a difference
between they call compression. Have you ever heard that term?
No. Compression is wanting your
partner to feel sexual pleasure at any cost, whether it's from

(50:04):
you or someone or something else.
So you're focused. Is that automatically come with
any situation where another's being introduced?
Right. So like things like polyamory or
a threesome or a multiple partner, it would be like you're
more focused on their experienceand their pleasure and did they

(50:28):
have a good time Then the fact that it wasn't you making them
come, making them have pleasure.So you're more interested in
their pleasure than you are how they got the pleasure.
Got you. You're more interested in their
fulfillment than you are that itwas you that gave that
fulfillment. So they, I'm curious, I got to

(50:48):
imagine that there's there's people who immerse themselves in
these experiences from a selfishperspective and they maybe don't
care about the partner. Yeah, that's a thing for sure.
I, I, I've written a few stories.
I have a whole series of Hot wife.
Have you heard their term Hot Wife?

(51:10):
Hot wife. Yeah.
No. Oh my gosh, it's so funny.
OK, so like. What is this?
This is all this exists in the real world and it exists in in
fiction and it is the thing where a husband or a boyfriend

(51:36):
is interested in either wife sharing or bringing their their
wife or their girlfriend sexual pleasure, regardless of where it
comes from, whether that be fromlike a bull fucking multiple
partners setting up sex dates with their partner.
Sometimes they like to orchestrate it and kind of be

(51:56):
like the director of it. Is this where we start getting
into the realm of like being a cook?
But see, there's a difference. There's a cook where you have no
control and you're not a dominant.
And there's more like the Stag Vixen where the man is in.
So there's a difference. I have a whole series where
where he is the dominant, he is directing the scene for his wife

(52:22):
to have sexual pleasure with other partners and then he
reclaims her as his as he fucks her.
So there are different scenarios.
Cocking is more of a submission role in this type of scenario
but there also are doms and thishappens in the real world there.
I know multiple people that do this and they're swingers and

(52:45):
that's the old term now is ethical non monogamy ENM and
they will orchestrate situationsor sex dates to sexually
pleasure their woman and their their goal, their priority is
her sexual pleasure. Not that they don't get their
own, and they do. Right.

(53:06):
So I imagine that goes into the the vicarious and voyeuristic
and all that. Yes, yes, and it's so
interesting. I just did a story on my my
podcast of all you know, and this is, this is common in the
US, but it's really common in the UK.
And this dude is in the UK and he, he wanted me to write this

(53:27):
story. I get people who occasionally
will send me like story requests.
And this one was where he had sex with a stranger or she had
sex with a stranger and then andthen and then he and his wife
had sex and then that. This was arousing to him.
And it's interesting how there'ssuch a different dynamic between

(53:48):
being a cock and being a dominant in wife sharing.
Yeah, this is the whole thing. There's some dudes out there
who'd be like, well, there's no difference.
There's no difference here. That's not.
True, yeah. And I'm, I'm curious what drives
like, because we're talking about this mostly.

(54:11):
I mean, there would be the dynamic would be different
between couples who are long term partners or short term
partners versus married partners, right?
In your experience, do you see it more more this this kind of
engagement engagements happen inin one or the other?

(54:31):
I've talked to mostly people whoare married.
I've talked to a few that are not, but most of the people I've
talked to interviewed have been married people.
But there have been a couple that have been single.
I've talked to a Unicorn woman and a man who is is not married
participating in that lifestyle.What is a Unicorn woman?
A Unicorn woman. Oh my gosh.

(54:55):
OK, so this is a woman who this this is a very desired
situation. This is usually a couple who is
seeking a woman who is a Unicorn, who is unattached to a
man who wants to swing, who wants to have sex with a man and
a woman. So they are called a Unicorn

(55:16):
also because they are very rare.Yeah, apparently I can't find
one. They are.
They are of the swinging mentality, but this is and I, I,
there's a woman that I interviewed that she has her
whole own podcast about this andshe's a Unicorn.
Really. She's a Unicorn and she's in

(55:37):
Canada. That's cool.
Oh that's a deal brainer for me.Not a fan of the she's
respectfully. She so she is single and she's a
swinger. And so a lot of swinger couples
are seeking unicorns because most of the women are attached.

(55:59):
So to find an unattached woman who wants to swing and have sex
with both a man and a woman is very rare.
This is why they became called the Unicorn.
Interesting. So what do you think that
couples are finding good? Oh.
Go ahead, you. Ask I wanted, I wanted, I wanted
to hear the rest of that statement.

(56:21):
I think I've forgotten it. You're going to say This is why?
Shit, I don't remember what I was going to say.
So what do you think couples arewho are married or would shift
to these engagements? And then why do you think

(56:41):
couples who are maybe not married or do they have
different goals? I think anyone who's seeking
this type of situation really isfocused on sexual pleasure for
their partner. Say someone has been married,
you know, their entire lives andsay they're bisexual or say
they've had some bicurious tendencies and they want to

(57:05):
explore that. And they don't necessarily want
to break up their marriage. They just want to like,
experience being with a woman. And a lot of men, truthfully,
are turned on by two women in a sexual situation, right?
Like they'd like to watch that. And I've talked with men about
this. And some men say it's because
the women want what they want and that turns them on.

(57:28):
I don't know the whole gamut of that.
I think that's an interesting phenomenon.
But if if you are with a partnerand say they have a sexual turn
on that they have not yet met and it might be experiencing sex
with a woman, not that they wantto break up their marriage, not
that they want to give up their relationship.

(57:49):
They might want to experience what it's like to make a woman
climax by Lincoln or Clint by being, you know what I mean?
Like I. Mean yeah, that sounds fun for
everybody, but I, I guess most, most dudes would be like, I
think most dudes would be OK with that situation.
I think once we get into the thedevil's three-way, we're like,
hey, let's pump the brakes a little bit here.
There's too much meat on the table.

(58:11):
Right and that that takes only certain men can do that.
Or maybe it's a bi curious man. It depends.
And, and I have encountered multiple, gosh, I've just my
podcast has just been so like mind blowing for me.
I've talked to so many differentpeople and I've been in so many.
I know it really is. I mean, I was already like not
judgmental and open minded to begin with.

(58:31):
And now I'm like, just like, it's fucking wild.
I have talked with people, I mean people who are doms, who
are serious doms, people who share their wives, people who,
and you know, it's, it's amazingto me to find people who are so
open that they only care about their partner's pleasure instead

(58:53):
of it being about them. And they can, they can do that
act not have it be like detracting from their
relationship. And I think it's amazing.
Like I, there's this dude I talked with quite extensively in
the UK and he has done this. They're still married.
They've been married for 45 fucking years, right?

(59:14):
That's amazing, yeah. All right, and they did wife
sharing because it turned her onand it turned him on that it
turned her on, right. And so he didn't get jealous
like he doesn't. He never got jealous.
It was about pleasuring her and that was his priority.
And they still are fucking married.

(59:34):
Yeah, that's. Amazing.
Yeah. No, it is.
And I think that there's, there's an interesting dynamic
here, right? Where like when we talked about
this is, is like dudes and some of the things that I like
mention and bring up or like push back on.
Sometimes I just do it in like afun, playful way because I, I
can hear the commentary in my head when this conversation.

(59:57):
And I think it's important for like other people to, and This
is why I want to interview females.
It's like, I want dudes to like,hear the like.
This is a place and area where like, there's no fucking cameras
for the most part, right? Like in most situations, this
isn't outside of your social life.

(01:00:19):
You can be whoever you want to be in this space.
And if it honestly bothers you, then the conversation's not
going to hurt you. And it, the conversation is the
conversation. And it's like, not for me.
Great, not for you. Like, right, you're at Costco
and you pass those samples because they're not for you.
Do the same fucking thing. Exactly.
Right, And if it's for you, thenfucking take one and enjoy the

(01:00:41):
rest of your day, Sir. But like it's like I know that
there are people out there and besides, there's females that
listen to this podcast too, actually, and so I hope that
they they get this too. It's like like be whoever it is

(01:01:03):
you are going to be and do that respectfully with the people
that you engage with and Sky's the fucking limit, dude.
Like you are allowed to explore and to be pleasurable and to be
pleasured and to and to be to explore all senses to the
maximum mobility with without going into the realms of like
fucking addiction, right And like being responsible about the

(01:01:25):
way that we interact with the world is one thing.
And if you do that correctly, then like there's so much out
there sexually and like spiritually and physically and
mentally and all aspects of a human being's construction is

(01:01:46):
out there for the fucking like exploration.
And it really is limited by whata individual like where those
barriers are. And a lot of those barriers, to
your point are socially constructed and culturally
constructed. And some people want to break

(01:02:06):
out of those and don't know how.And it's like, but there's no
cameras in this realm like. Right.
Right. Like people are only going to
know if you tell them. Right.
That's so true. And and one sentence that I
think really is just so poignantto this is don't yuck another's

(01:02:29):
Yum. Yeah, that's a good way to put
it, yeah. I mean, even if your partner
says something where you're liketotally offended, don't take it
to heart, you know, just say, OK, well, that's not for me.
And then move on. And you can find common ground
in other ways. So do not get offended.

(01:02:50):
Like for instance, I have, I have a friend who spent her
whole life, she was she's she knew she was bisexual, right?
And she did not tell her husbanduntil I don't know what it is
late in their marriage that she was bisexual.
Instead of him being like, oh, OK, cool.

(01:03:11):
You know, and he could have suggested, Hey, let's watch some
girl on girl porn. Hey, let's just imagine and
pretend that that, you know, whatever, close your eyes,
pretend I'm a woman. They could have done a lot of
different role-playing things and and really yummed that up.
But instead he yucked it and said, if I would have known that

(01:03:31):
it would have made a difference.Like do do you really, do you
really need to yuck her Yum? Is that really what you want to
do? Like can you not be open to, I
don't know, like why? None to some dudes are just like

(01:03:52):
from a male perspective, some dudes are not like if there's a
hard line and and if especially once we get into the realm of
like homosexuality, like. If it's in the fucking.
Vicinity of homosexual nature content, it's a like it's too
much right and so like even if if it's like engagements with a

(01:04:17):
a male with a female and it's inthe realm of like what may feel
or seem homosexual it's over it's a dumb conversation right
and. Right, right.
And I don't know, like if that'sa cultural thing or a family
thing or a like a social thing. I mean, I mean, culturally and

(01:04:41):
socially, like the US specifically is pretty fucking
open, right? And so like, really what it is,
is, and most people are just contending with fucking
opinions. And in which case it's like, if
you are structured in a way thatI'm going to do what I want
because it's within the realms of my freedoms, fuck you.

(01:05:01):
That should just be the answer, right?
And then if someone has an opinion, they have an opinion.
And like, not everyone's going to get along and not everyone's
agree with people's choices, right?
And it's like, and but there arepeople, you know, who who find

(01:05:23):
themselves in situations where maybe it's time for a change.
And maybe that changes in the realm of sexuality.
And you know, it sounds like that story that you were just
explaining, you know, that's stuff like that, right?
When it merges and it's like after how long did you say they
were together? I don't know, it was like that

(01:05:44):
open like 20 years or something.But could you imagine in 20
years? And then it's like you, you kind
of like share this desire or this secret with and then you
just get fucking shut down. Yeah.
Right, then what happens, right,100% because now we're not
talking about even exploring sexual things of like sexual

(01:06:05):
nature things we're talking about like.
Saving the relationship. Right.
Is she even going to ever want to bring up anything ever again?
Right, because you're in a fucking fragile place where you
thought you were safe and you could bring some.
Shit waited because she wasn't comfortable until she thought
she was in a good place. Right.
So then what do you do? And killed it.

(01:06:27):
He fucking killed it. And, and most, most dudes, like
most dudes are not, they're not built for, you know, tiptoeing
around in, in a, in a very sensitive place.
And they're not, they don't handle those situations very
well and they are unwilling to even amuse those situations.

(01:06:49):
And so there's this, yes, like if you could say to something to
a dude who might be in that situation, right?
What would you say? Like how like how to handle it
or you know, how to approach it?What what happens if, you know,
maybe their partner brings something up or maybe they want
to bring up to their part? What would be the best way to do
that? We've kind of already touched on

(01:07:09):
this, but maybe more specific here.
I would think that you would would, you know, you could even
say I'm really shocked and that kind of bothers me.
But I hear you. You could say, I understand that
you finally are admitting this and I respect you for saying it
without even saying how you feelabout it.

(01:07:30):
Maybe you need some time to think about it, right?
Like maybe you need to think about that.
Or maybe don't take it as an offense.
Make maybe take it as that's whoshe is and she's chosen to be
with you all this fucking time and decided that you were more
important than going to have a sex with a woman.
How about that being a triumph and being like, thank you for

(01:07:53):
sharing that with me. I'm really, I'm really, I feel
great that you felt confident and comfortable and safe to tell
me this information instead of shutting her down.
Think how much more that would be.
And OK, so even if you fuck up, even if you like, say what he

(01:08:14):
said. Yeah, how do you recover?
How do you How about you say I was, I'm sorry I said that.
That was really awful of me. I was hurt.
I was scared. Express your emotions, say that
just freaked me out. I was so scared when you said
that. You're going to leave me.
I'm going to be like, like, what's the dude's name on

(01:08:36):
friends? What the fuck is his name?
Chandler. No teller, dude.
No Ross. Ross, I'm going to be Ross and
you're going to leave me for a woman and you're going to be a
lesbian, married. Like you could say that to her.
Be like I was afraid I was goingto be Ross.

(01:08:56):
Right. I'm sorry that, you know, you
know how much more that's going to strengthen their
relationship. If he said I'm sorry, I thought
it was going to be Ross instead of saying things would have been
different if I would have. Yeah, ruined.
But like in my head, I'm immediately like the, the, the
voice that comes to my head is like the dude who's like in my

(01:09:17):
house, in my fucking house, like, you know, like that guy,
right? And I guess there's just no
saving that guy, right? Or there's no there's no saving
that relationship because it's it's the dynamic is very.
Right. It seems like it seems those
once we get to a certain point of just like super rigid and

(01:09:39):
it's like almost like a fucking meme it.
Yeah, yeah. I like to think of those, and
this is not to just shit on on people who live that way.
There's it on because we alreadyknow what we're talking about
here. That shit exists on all sides of
this fucking spectrum. And, and I think that a lot of

(01:10:01):
that comes from the ascribed or borrowed knowledge realm, right?
The people who who got handed a fucking story about who they
were and, or decided that they were going to live that because
the people who are actually exploring and doing all of that,
like they don't, they're not living a, you know, a life that

(01:10:25):
they bought and picked out of the, you know, from the aisle of
the store. Like, yeah, they're right.
They're, they're exploring and like, you know, being brave and
like doing all kinds of weird stuff out there and like being
adventurous and whether that's in the realms of sexuality,
mental or spiritual or whatever,it's like that that person who
is willing to explore and to engage in adventure, very much

(01:10:48):
different person than the one who is like, these are the
lines. This blueprint was handed to me
by the city. I'm going to build my right.
That's a fucking lazy person. And we need those people because
they they do certain things in this world that allow us to
operate. And thank you for your
contributions or whatever, but like, we're not talking to you,

(01:11:11):
we're talking to the other people.
You go over there because we don't want to talk to you.
Yeah, right. And this is like where we get
into the realm of like NPCS and and like sheep and like all that
stuff and all the fucking patriotics that come with it.
But like it's true, right? Because those are the people
that get uncomfortable and like wife says, hey, I, I want to, I

(01:11:31):
want a 69 with a another chick and I want you to jerk off while
I do it. And you know, there's a guy
who's going to be like, fuck, yeah, let's do that.
I'm can we do some beer? And then there's going to be
another guy who's going to be like, in my house.
Right and like. And it's fucking.
It's stupid. It's interesting because I've,

(01:11:53):
I've actually talked with peoplewho've studied this and
generally it's the woman who brings up the swinging in the
relationship. And that's really interesting to
me that that women are more openas far as this study went and
they're more open to trying sucha situation is they're.

(01:12:15):
An age I. Don't remember that from the
conversation. Yeah, I wish I remember that
from the conversation. I don't.
I'm not sure, but it is. It is interesting.
Yeah, I mean, you know. I think it's people can can, can
you separate a sexual act from love?

(01:12:36):
I can. I can, but some people can,
yeah. Yeah, no.
And yeah, I don't. I would imagine that if I was a
a woman and I was an orgasm, having orgasms, orgasming, then
it would be time to bring that conversation up.

(01:12:58):
Do you know what I mean? So like, it kind of makes sense,
like, oh, more females are females are like more likely to
bring that conversation up. If they are probably bored and
like, not satisfied, maybe it's time to fucking.
Yeah. I I've interviewed a few female
coaches that have actually really emphasized that female
relationship or sex. Coaches that have have

(01:13:19):
emphasized the fact that the reason why you're female,
partner, wife, girlfriend, whatever, does not want to have
sex anymore with you is because she's bored.
Yeah, what about the male size? Same.
I don't know. There seems to be a lot less men
who don't want to have sex. So I did did.

(01:13:44):
From what I have experienced in talking to people, there's a lot
more women who don't want to have sex who are bored with sex
than men and I'm not really surewhy that is.
Maybe because men climax easier?Investor.
Right. I don't know, but I think it's
really interesting that, you know, if a woman wants to be

(01:14:05):
devoted to you and wants to be with you and she wants to
explore sexuality in different ways, I guess I don't understand
why. Why wouldn't a man want to do
that if she's too? I mean, I can understand his
fear of, oh, she might leave me,you know, like I can understand
that. The purity aspect too.
Yeah. But.

(01:14:25):
That to me, yeah, yeah, but to me, that's just bogus.
That's not that's not accepting a woman as being a human.
The whole purity culture shit. Right.
Because I think to your point earlier, right, where it's like,
well, separating love from sex, right?

(01:14:45):
I don't think. I think that comes almost
natural for most dudes, right? And and if.
There's a dude. Stuck on this.
I mean, it's only the differencebetween jerking off and watching
porn versus like having sex likeright?
And dudes have like easily catchfeelings when they're having
sex, right? Most.
Dudes. And I don't think that it's
necessarily quote catching feelings immature dudes that

(01:15:07):
we're talking about. I think it's more of what you're
talking about why we can't, why it can't be separated is that
it's not a love thing, it's not a transactional thing.
It's a property thing, right? It's an object thing.
It's a, it's a thing where most men can separate their partner

(01:15:29):
from it. It being some kind of like
entanglement where they are in power.
Right, like they own her. Yes, right, right.

(01:15:50):
Where this is this is like mine,that mentality ownership, right?
Right and #1 no one can own another person.
Right, It's it's actually illegal.
It's. It is illegal but but I will
say, do you know much about Dom sub relationships because I do

(01:16:15):
not. OK, there's so much to this I,
I. I have talked to to 1 and she
told me very interesting storiesand there's some crazy things
out there but go ahead. So when you are, when people are
in, and I've interviewed multiple people in this scenario
of the Dom sub relationship, there is a kink out there of Dom

(01:16:40):
sub where a Dom will own a sub and they will use that language
to be a part of their relationship.
But a woman will only soothe a Dom in the right situation.
She has to have full voice. She has to have full

(01:17:02):
communication and conversation and control.
And in fact many people think that the Dom is in control, but
the sub is actually in control. She is the one that is dictating
what is happening to her. She is the one giving
permission. So in that situation there isn't
ownership. That happens and is claimed, but
it only happens in that kind of relationship.

(01:17:23):
So when people are exerting dominance and ownership in a
relationship that has not been discussed in this way, that has
not been presented in this way, it just comes off as you're a
Jackass. Right when then that's what's
the the ironic part here, right,is that earlier I mentioned so
like there's that right now we established that there's this,

(01:17:49):
this dominance of ownership kindof thing, right?
That exists. And I mean, I notice it and and
then, but also there's this likeepidemic of dudes asking for
permission and crying about likeall the things that are wrong in

(01:18:11):
the world. And it's like, so, so is it a
situation where they were dudes?They like, I'm not a dude.
Is it a situation where dudes are, I mean, we're generalizing
so hard, but or not? Because it's always seemed very

(01:18:34):
like when I looked at my grandparents and I looked at my
grandpa and I looked at my grandma, I knew who was bringing
home the check, but I knew who was running the house.
Do you see? What I'm?
Saying and it's like, I know that grandpa understood God rest
his soul, I know that grandpa understood that he was the man
of the house, right? But that was a role that was
given to him with permission by my grandma.

(01:18:57):
Yes. Right.
And so is it are we having a situation where dudes are like,
punish me harder, daddy, do you see what I'm saying here where
they've realized that they were the Subs and they thought they
were the Doms and then women finally said, well then fuck
you. If you're not going to play this

(01:19:18):
game correctly, you be the Dom and and men didn't know how to
be the Dom. Yeah, I think men like to be
dominant. Do you agree?
I think they like to think that they're dominant because I can't
tell you how many men I've surrounded myself since I
started this podcast. I've been I I did not like men.

(01:19:38):
I don't like being around men. Men annoy the fuck out of me.
I grew up in a world where men were just a bunch of chest
fucking chest puffing and like all of.
That nonsense. And it's just like, look at me,
look at my stuff, look at all this shit.
And none of that was important to me.
And I, yeah, I was like, and I was always viewed as like, you

(01:19:58):
know, which is funny because I was always told to like, study
really hard and all that. And because I was picking up
books and like, you know, learning different things.
I was, I was, I was less than and I was out and and right.
And so, so like, which is funny because like the men who

(01:20:18):
constructed some of the greatestempires of the world were not
illiterate like. Retards, right?
And they they weren't. They weren't just swinging
hammers or like they weren't just turning wrenches.
Idiots. Right.
They weren't they weren't the fucking peasants and the pawns
and the grunts. They were They were men who like

(01:20:38):
well educated and assumed power and we're smart.
One of the Marcus Aurelius, one of the the greatest teachings of
all times. His his meditation, right?
People look up to this guy and he was he was anything but a
fucking peasant, right? He wasn't.
One of the. Guy, he wasn't one of the
gladiators in the arena. He was like, he was the guy
running the whole show and he was very thoughtful, mindful

(01:20:59):
and, and purposeful and meaningful about his words, his
actions and his his choices. And we, I grew up in a world
where all of that was gay, right?
And, and so I think that's really fascinating.
But man, I strayed so far from that original point there.
No, I think it's fascinating. I love to hear your viewpoints.

(01:21:20):
Yeah, I think it's. Good.
No, you go ahead. No, I don't even remember.
I, I was trying to get to, I wastrying to bring it back to like
this idea that like men can justnot, not, they don't want to
assume responsibility. And, and it's, it's fucking
infuriating. And I'm I, that was one of the

(01:21:40):
biggest reasons why I didn't surround myself with men.
And like, oh, that was the pointI, since I started this podcast,
I started hanging out with more men and being around more men.
And I can't tell you how many men without a spine I've run
into. And it's most men and the ones
the ones who do have a spine, it's only like a pseudo power

(01:22:04):
based on something, you know, within their orbit, right.
So like maybe they have a job that allows them power and they
abuse it, right. So anytime I see I see power,
it's an abuse of power within the proximity or within their
confines of their parameters of their power.
And and I'm and if there's no power, then the power is assumed

(01:22:28):
in other things by dominance of like behavior, emotional, right.
And and so like it's you'll havedue to who look down on
emotions, but they're hyper emotional, right, by virtue of
anger or, or, or right or aggression, right?
And, and it's, it's just a fascinating dynamic because

(01:22:49):
dudes seem out of control. They seem grounded.
And so my joke is always like, dudes just want a hug, right?
Like they just want to be told that they're loved and they want
to be hugged. That's always my joke.
This is the whole thing too, where or where men are kind of
like funneled into not feeling emotions, not expressing
emotions. That's not manly.

(01:23:11):
And yet we have all these women who are like, please, please
tell me your emotions. Tell me what you're feeling.
It's like the culture is tellingthem one thing, but yet all the
females are telling them the other.
And it's like they can't hear it.
Like the men can't hear it. Like, I want to know your
feelings. I want you to tell me all your
vulnerabilities. I want you to tell me what

(01:23:33):
you're feeling. Don't be this macho idiot.
I want to know what you're really fucking feeling.
And I think this is the disconnect that we have.
Our culture is telling us one thing, but the reality of
relationships is opposite. Right.
And, well, wasn't that a motherfucker?
And kind of funny, considering how where there's this lost to

(01:23:57):
the porn world that is the same,right, where the, the, the porn
is exhibiting some reality that's false, right?
And then the men take that into the world and realize quickly
that's not how it's constructed.And so there's a disconnect
between what the we're like, what men are taking in, the

(01:24:18):
information men are taking in is, is false.
It is and, and I don't think it's the acts of the porn that
are false. I think it's the perception,
it's the interpretation. It's like, so like for instance,
if I'm with a loving man who loves me, wants me to come and
I, I think a certain act is hot,like for instance, doggy

(01:24:41):
grabbing my hair, right? Like yanking on my hair, if it's
the right man who gives me the right perception, that's fucking
hot as shit. But if it's someone doesn't care
about me, who cares more about the actual act of doing it and
doesn't care what I'm getting out of it, doesn't care that I'm
going to come or not, then I completely lose all interest.
And I don't want to fucking do that act.

(01:25:02):
And I'd rather just do somethingelse or just not have sex.
I'll just open my fucking toys and do it in my own head how I
fucking want it to be. You know, like I, I don't, I
think this is the problem. It's like it's the dehumanizing
and not seeing the women as a human.
If you see her as a human just like you, so many acts can be so

(01:25:25):
much hotter than just the actualtransactional thing of it.
And the the whole thing about the Dom sub situation is that a
woman who loves to be dominated,but he only does what she wants.
He respects what she wants, he only does what she wants and she
submits to him by choice, even if it's even if it's a role play

(01:25:49):
where it's not by choice. That that gets into a Gray area,
but that is a her input is the key to everything.
I'm respecting that. Right.
Holy cow did. I just confuse you.

(01:26:10):
No, no you didn't. No, no, you just.
I'm realizing that we've been doing this for about 3 hours
and. So I know that's pretty crazy,
isn't it, I? Know, and I know like I know
that this can go into like 2 three hours no problem.

(01:26:30):
I've really had a lot of fun talking to you I.
Know this has been no, this is I.
Really enjoyed. I seriously enjoyed talking to
you. I did.
Yeah, this has helped me a lot as a as a person, and I hope it
helps a lot of other men out there who aren't pussies to
fucking get their shit together because I'm tired of asking

(01:26:52):
nicely. I'm tired of the the pathetic
nonsense. Like it's not even like, dude,
you know what like a man to me is I fucked up.
How do I fix this? I need help.
That's what a fucking man is to me.
And I'm tired of I'm tired of asking to just do that dude,
like just do that. And if if that means you're a
pussy, then it's not for you. Step aside so somebody else can

(01:27:12):
like assume the shoes of a fucking of that guy.
And that that includes in the realm of sexuality to like, if
it's not for you, it's not for. And and if it is, then, you
know, we talked about a lot of cool stuff that, you know, might
be able to help you. And I think that the, I don't

(01:27:34):
know why that story of like, youknow, men and women coming from
like different planets stuck. And.
There's some truth to some of this.
We like as individuals and, and in our, you know, males and
females and, and our gender roles or whatever.
Like I, I get that, like we haveour own perceptions and

(01:27:55):
engagements with the world that is unique to that.
But I'm like, I'm hoping that dudes walk away from this and
just have more conversations with with the opposite sex and
and just like open the door to at least be willing to have a
talk about anything, even if it's not about sexual stuff.
Just like more conversations. That's it.

(01:28:18):
Completely agree. All right, what is your wish
that any any male listening to this from this?
Communication, just as you said,communication and not judging.
Don't yuck. Don't yuck her Yum.
Yeah, if you don't want. Or to yuck you're Yum.
Don't yuck her Yum. I think that's super solid.

(01:28:41):
All right. I'm going to, I'm going to do my
my normal wrap up questions if that's OK with you.
Absolutely. All right, they're usually
geared towards men, so I'm goingto try and.
That's all good. I I do love men.
That's good. I guess that's a good question.
Do you? Do you love men?
I do. What do you love most about men?

(01:29:02):
I love men's passion, I love men's lust, I love men's
interest. I love men's interest in me and
interest in pleasuring me and I just think men have AI really
like men's libido. I love.

(01:29:22):
I have a very similar libido. I love men's desire for sex
because I have that as well, butI didn't always have it.
It was like I talked about earlier.
What do I love about men? I also love men's solidness.
I feel like men, a lot of men have, but we talked about this

(01:29:42):
before. They don't all have solidness,
but I love men's confidence. I love a confident man.
Above all, I love a confident man.
Be who you are and love who you are.
There you go. That is very attractive.
OK, well I mean you might have just answered it.
I was going to ask you what is the the hottest thing a man can

(01:30:03):
do? I think the hottest man thing a
man can do well, I I am a woman who likes to to have domination.
I like to be dominated by a man,but only by a man who wants to
pleasure me, who puts me, my pleasure in the top priority.
So that is the difference. But I do like to be dominated.

(01:30:26):
I do like to be dominated. I'm I'm definitely a sub, but
only to the right man. OK, fair enough.
All right. Hey, my mic cut out there for a
second. That was weird.
OK. Do you have any words of
encouragement for a man who might be struggling out there in

(01:30:49):
the world right now listening tothis?
Yeah, I think it's to see your partner as a human and accept
humility and accept maybe you'refucked up and just admit it.
Just communication like we've been talking about multiple
times has come up. Communication.
And don't be. Don't be an arrogant ass, just

(01:31:14):
communicate. And you know what, if you're
going to be vulnerable and open up your feelings to a woman,
that's going to just, it's just going to make such a difference.
Don't be this like person that doesn't want to share.
I know society like thinks that men shouldn't share their

(01:31:34):
feelings or shouldn't feel certain feelings.
If you share your feelings, I guarantee you it's going to make
a difference for the better. And listen to her, prioritize
her pleasure. You're never going to regret
that because you're going to come because it's easy for a man
to come. But if you prioritize her
pleasure and make her come first, make her feel special, I

(01:31:59):
guarantee you it's going to makea difference.
You will come. It's easy for you to come.
It's harder for her. Yeah, I mean, and I think just
generally speaking, it's worth noting that like the is the the
general advice that isn't specific to like an anatomy,
right. Like it?
It kind of just goes without saying that it's applicable to

(01:32:19):
relationships of all types, right?
Yes, 100%. Right, the the great
communication and the exploring and the being willingness to to
be honest and open. And I mean, it's, it seems like
such like common sense it, doesn't it?
It does. It does.
And it seems like the hardest thing in the in the young world

(01:32:40):
to do and. It, it is.
I know. It's so bizarre, isn't it?
It's our culture. All right, our culture.
Teaches us that. What is the I agree?
What is the most important contribution a human being can
to the world before they die? Oh wow, I love that.

(01:33:01):
You know what, for me, it's making a difference in even a
single person's life. When I have a single person
communicate to me that what I said, what I created, a podcast
episode, a book impacted their life, even one person, that to

(01:33:22):
me is just gold. You know, you know, you see
these people with thousands of reviews, thousands of sales, but
if, and, and to me, everybody matters in making a difference.
Even in a single life, 2 lives, three lives, five lives, even
just one, it makes a difference to me.

(01:33:43):
And that is reaching someone with a truth to help them have a
better life. That's what's important to me.
That's amazing. I concur 100%.
Yeah, we didn't. We didn't get into any like

(01:34:04):
spiritual stuff or any of that. Maybe next time.
Yeah. I think that would be really
cool to explore with you. Oh yeah, I come back anytime.
Yeah. Has anything during this
interview gifted your understanding of what it means
to be a man? Yes, I I love to hear men's
perspectives and This is why I love to interview men on my

(01:34:26):
podcast as well. I, I love to hear, I want to
understand and I want to understand what turns men on.
And I like to turn men on. I like to turn women on.
I am just very interested in human reactions and helping
people realize their sexuality and enjoying things, finding

(01:34:46):
pleasure. So yeah, I, I, I loved your
perspectives. I loved hearing what you had to
say. I'm just not a person that would
shut down. You know, the only time I'd shut
down is if someone says you suck, I hate you, goodbye.
You know that, OK. Well, yeah, you can't.
It's just rude. Then let's just move on, right?
Yeah. No, I I I loved our

(01:35:07):
conversation. I loved your insights.
And I'd love to hear more. I I want to hear what, you know,
this is the thing, too. I want to hear what men think.
You know, we're all victims to our culture.
We're all. Right.
You know, we're all stuck here whether we like it or not.
So we got it, right? Right.
Like the shit's not going to clean itself.
No, but I still like to hear what turns men on.

(01:35:29):
This is why I love it when men come to me and be like, will you
tell this story? And I'm like, yes, because I
find joy and sexuality enjoymentin it as well.
You know, like in my own way. I love that.
Right. OK, here's an interesting
question. I have one more for you, but
like I'm going to throw this onein.
Do you have any sexual tips or tricks for the ladies that might

(01:35:52):
be listening? Yes, for sure.
All right. Speak up, tell him or her,
whatever your, whatever your relationship is what you like.
And if you don't know, try twiceand you have to try multiple
twice. Like I talked to some people and
they're like, I tried this toy and it sucked.
No, no, no, you have to try multiple toys to find out

(01:36:13):
because everybody is different. There are different, there is
postulated that there are different size clitorises, just
like there are different size penises and some reach towards
the anus, some reached far away from the anus, some are tiny,
some are big. So you have to try all different
sex toys to find out what's going to work for you.

(01:36:33):
And I urge all women to spend some time with their own bodies
with a toy, whether you're watching porn or just using the
toy alone, using the fantasies in your head, explore your body
to find out what turns your bodyand your brain on so you can

(01:36:53):
communicate. That solid, I think that's I
think I've redeemed myself with the men think if not, they keep
it, go fuck themselves. Because I don't care.
You feel like you have to redream yourself.
You feel. Like you're negative.
To men. I never wanted to be negative to
men because I want better relations between men and women.

(01:37:16):
That's. Yeah, I'm mostly joking.
I, I, I just, I know that there's, there's dudes who who
just, you know, are like my great grandpa and they're like.
I shut down. Yeah, what the fuck is this?
Yeah, we back in my day, we onlyhad vanilla like.

(01:37:36):
OK, well. Don't be.
That cute, right, right, right. That.
Yeah, that, that sucks. Is that no?
And you're not exploring, you'renot including her.
Most of that is not including her.
I have to say the old school stuff.
Yeah, I mean, I get that there's, there's like no one's
forcing anyone to like change ordo anything different, but but

(01:38:02):
it's like you can't also just give up.
You have to progress in some way, somewhere.
You can't. Just stop in time and call it a
day. Like, that sucks, right?
Because then we get back into like, the relationship stuff and
why people like change and all that.
And yeah. OK, two things.

(01:38:24):
Final question, Is there anything during this interview
that I didn't ask that you wish I did ask?
I don't know. I can't think of anything.
I really enjoyed our conversation.
I can't think of anything that Iwish you would have asked.
Well, if you figure it out, you can write it down and we can
talk about it next. Time sounds good.

(01:38:47):
OK ruin, where can everyone findyour content?
All your your spicy content. I have books and audio books
across all the platforms, the seller book or seller platforms
of audio books and erotic books,ebooks, paperbacks, paperbacks

(01:39:10):
and my podcast is on all the podcast apps in audio.
It's called Oh fuck yeah with ruin Willow.
It's also, I know, right? Yeah.
That's that's a whole story in itself.
And then also I'm on YouTube, but I can only put the
interviews on YouTube. I can't put the erotic fiction
episodes because I'm on my 4th trial trying to stay on YouTube

(01:39:33):
because YouTube does not like erotic fiction.
You can only talk about sex. You can't have erotic fiction in
any form. Yeah, but yet some, some big,
some big accounts do it and theylet it fly.
Hey, maybe have you, maybe it's time to jump on Pornhub and make
an account and just. Put it up there.
I know I I tried that once and something fell through and I

(01:39:55):
need to try it again. But I'm also on Pod Nation TV
channel which is a cable channelon Roku TV and Fire TV devices.
And. Then I'm also on the full Swap
Radio Internet Radio network on Tuesdays and Wednesdays they air
my episodes and I'm also on sub Stack.
And busy, busy, busy. Yeah, so I have video.

(01:40:19):
I have video if you want to see what I look like.
I talk with people and I also have audio across all the
different formats. So I just started showing myself
in August, so it hasn't been that long.
That's exciting. Yeah.
I'm probably never going to do that.
That's where I draw the line. Oh, man, I hope I Yeah, I hope I

(01:40:41):
don't these. We'll see.
Thank you so much for sharing all of that information.
I will make sure all of those links and everything where
people can find you, all of thatfun stuff is going to go into
the show notes and people can access your content and connect
with you. Anything else before we go?
Oh yes, I forgot to mention I'vebeen nominated for the ASN

(01:41:04):
Lifestyle Magazine Awards for best erotic writer.
That's awesome. Congratulations.
Thank you. I'm super excited.
And so you can vote for me on ASN Lifestyle Magazine website
through August, I believe, and it's every day you can vote for
me. And also, I've been invited to
the narrator panel on the Crush Virtual Erotic Con for Authors

(01:41:29):
and Readers online event on July26th.
So I'm going to be on the narrator panel.
They invited me to be a speaker on the narrator panel.
Yeah, I'm really excited. Those are both like really like,
you know, I don't need validation or whatever, but it's
super exciting to like be picked, you know?
Yeah, totally awesome. That's and you said you can vote

(01:41:53):
every day. You can vote every day.
I know. And they have an actual event in
Florida. I don't know if I'm actually
going to fly there, but I'm one of eight.
I'm one of eight people that made it in the top.
So like, this came out of nowhere.
I'm just like what? Like, I don't know.
It's fun to be nominated. That's all I got to say.

(01:42:13):
That's super exciting. I'm going to make sure we put
that link in there in the description as well.
Ruin, thank you so much for having this conversation with me
and I wish you the best of luck on your journey ahead.
Thank you. You too.
You're fabulous. I really had a fun time.
I'm serious. I really enjoyed it.

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#13 Ruan Willow – Exploring Female Sexuality, Finding the Clitoris, Erotic Novels, Sex Toys, Orgasm, Kink, & Relationships Part 2

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#13 Ruan Willow – Exploring Female Sexuality, Finding the Clitoris, Erotic Novels, Sex Toys, Orgasm, Kink, & Relationships Part 2