April 24, 2025 • 58 mins
Autism doesn't come with a handbook. When Lexi first noticed her son Alexander spinning repetitively at six months old, she had no idea she was witnessing early signs of autism. Despite mentioning these behaviors to doctors, it would be months before medical professionals validated her concerns.
Today, Lexi opens her heart about raising Alexander (affectionately called "Brother"), a non-verbal kindergartner on the autism spectrum, alongside her daughter Adeline, who faced her own medical challenges with a club foot requiring multiple surgeries and treatments. Through these unexpected journeys, Lexi has discovered strength she never knew she possessed.
"Some things Alexander likes – tight hugs or pressure. One thing we learned in occupational therapy is if he's having a meltdown in public, to just start applying pressure from head to toe," Lexi shares, offering a glimpse into the practical strategies that help her son navigate a world that can feel overwhelming to his senses. She explains how common environments like grocery stores can become sensory battlegrounds, with sounds and lights amplified tenfold for those on the spectrum.
This conversation transforms our understanding of autism beyond stereotypes. Alexander might not speak, but he communicates brilliantly by guiding people's hands to what he wants. He experiences joy through repetitive movements that bring him comfort. His sister has become his fiercest advocate, explaining autism to friends with remarkable compassion.
Whether you're raising a child with special needs or simply want to better understand autism, this episode provides profound insights into creating a more inclusive world. As Lexi powerfully states, "I don't need to fix Alexander to fit in. We just need to figure out how to fix those around us to accommodate him better."
Ready to become a more compassionate, informed member of your community? Listen now, and join us in standing for inclusivity and understanding during National Autism Awareness Month and beyond.
Standing In Your Truth Podcast with Yanni Thomas
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello everyone, welcome to Standing In your
Truth podcast with your host,yanni.
On this podcast you'll hearYanni, family and friends having
open-ended discussions onanything from faith, finances,
relationships and how to staymotivated during life's trying
times.
Make sure to follow on allsocial media platforms.
(00:23):
The social media link is in thebio.
Sit back and get ready to enjoy.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Hello, everyone, welcome to another episode of
Standing in your Truth podcast.
I am your host, yanni.
Hope everyone is enjoying theirEaster break.
Is it a break?
I guess it's Easter break.
That's what it is.
Whatever it is, it is anywayyour time off from school or
work and hopefully, if you'reworking, you got time off.
I know some friends that arestill having to um work, but I'm
(00:53):
blessed, my job allows me tohave good friday off and the
monday, so kudos to them.
Well, I'm gonna allow my guestto introduce herself.
This is a special one, y'all.
I'm going to allow my guest tointroduce herself.
This is a special one, y'all.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Yay, hi, my name is Alexis.
I am a 29-year-old full-timeworking mom of two kids, adeline
and Alexander, and I'm soexcited to be here.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I'm excited to have you, so we're going to start
with house questions and thenwe'll get into the real reason
why she's here and how she'sgoing to help educate us.
So the first one is whatmotivates you?
Speaker 3 (01:31):
This one was an easy one for me.
Ever, since I became a mom, mykids are the one and only thing,
not the only thing, probablythe biggest things that motivate
me.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Honestly, I feel like all the moms that I have on
here are parents, so I saythat's usually what it is.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Yeah, it's like your life just changes after you know
you have your kids andeverything else is just
different, and so my onemotivation is, you know, to give
them a good life, um, to letthem know that they're enough
and they do their best, you knowwhat?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
and whatever.
That is that, that's enough.
Okay, nothing's wrong with thatat all.
How do you protect your mentalhealth?
Speaker 3 (02:11):
I used to be really bad at protecting my mental
health In a way where maybe Ifelt like it just wasn't as
important you know, but latelyI'd say over the last year or so
I've really just been takingthe time to myself, doing things
that I enjoy.
I love to read, I like to dolike little crafts puzzles,
(02:33):
adeline, and I like to open acoloring book and just chill
Again.
Becoming a mom, you think youhave to get every single task
done and on time and clean yourhouse and have everything so
perfect.
But once you drop thatmentality, I feel like that's
when it's easier to allowyourself to have those mental
health moments yeah so that wasa big learning experience for me
(02:57):
, but putting that, making thatimportant, has changed a lot for
me.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
The same parents mental health matters?
It does, for sure.
I guess this question kind ofties a little bit into that.
But what is your self-careroutine?
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Self-care routine.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
If you have one.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
I don't know if I have, I wouldn't say routine.
I'm really bad at routines andthat's kind of crazy.
Going into our next topic,routines are important.
That's part of my learningprocess too.
Um, I would say not much of aroutine but more of a to-do list
, like I tell myself take thistime off, take this time to do
(03:35):
something for you.
Yeah, whether that's againcoloring, reading, spending time
with the kids, just one-on-oneum, that's kind of what it looks
like for me and like for ourhousehold.
Routines kind of just don'treally work as much as I want
them to.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
You know, the funny thing is I'm the opposite.
I feel like I'm like routineswork for me, and the second I
get off I'm like hold on.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
It throws everything off.
Yes, and I wish I was like that.
I tried a train, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
I think you need to do like a healthy middle.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Because, if I get to, the train gets off the track
for me.
I always use this.
This is probably a poor example, but working out like 75 hard,
I can probably do good for fivedays.
If something throws me off,then I forget the whole 75 hard.
But that's not really like Igot to figure that out.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
It's a lot of self-discipline with routines
and I think that's my strugglethere is like to you know,
mentally prepare myself likeyou're going to stick to this
routine.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
That is where I struggle.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
And then again things get thrown off.
I'm kind of like you in thatway Throws off.
I'm like, OK, well, let's justtry another route, but as long
as the to-do list checks off.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
I think that's what matters right, yeah, as long as
you got that list, it's good Ithought that okay, what advice
would you give your younger self?
Speaker 3 (04:56):
um, I would definitely tell my younger self
that everything always ends upbeing okay in the end um, I feel
like I used to over stressabout certain things or get like
instant anxiety, thinkingsomething you know is not going
the way it's supposed.
I was a kid that grew upthinking I was gonna have like a
(05:19):
perfect, like five-year plan,you know, go to college, get
married, have kids, besuccessful in whatever career I
chose, and that just wasn'trealistic.
But I wish I could tell myyounger self that that's okay,
like that five-year plan wasnever gonna be perfect, it was
never gonna, you know, just workout the way I picture, or
(05:40):
perfectly pictured it, yeah, inmy head, you know.
So I would definitely tellmyself to to lose the anxiety,
lose the stress about it andjust live life and figure it out
, because it always ends upworking out it does a lot of
times.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
You're the.
It working out is sometimesbetter than you even planned.
Right, but it's you have to letgo of the plan for you to
actually see.
Yes, you know the flowers atthe end, so I understand that
for sure.
What is your mindset whenyou're told no or the door shuts
?
Speaker 3 (06:12):
this is another thing I used to struggle with really
bad, because, um you know, noone likes being told no right no
one likes when a door slams inyour face.
Yeah um, I used to fearrejection, so bad to where, if I
got told no or a door was shut,I would not try it again I'd be
like, oh, I was rejected.
(06:33):
I'm not gonna put myself throughthat again.
I don't want this dress.
I don't want the emotions withit, um, but now I feel like a
door shut is just means anotherone's gonna to open right back
up for you.
That door shut for a reason andif you would have stuck with
that, it wasn't going to workout in your favor.
You know, um, I do believeGod's purpose is the reason why
(06:56):
those doors shut, and if itwasn't meant to be in that
moment, there was somethingbetter planned.
or maybe I took the wrong turnand went somewhere I was not
supposed to go and that doorslammed right in my face and it
was, you know, for a reason yeahso I feel like um doors being
shut just means that I have tobe bold and confident and walk
(07:19):
into whichever direction is nextand see what door that leads to
I love that mindset, though alot of times, you know, the
common answer for this wasalways the door says no.
Then I'm just gonna, you know,figure out why and still go into
it oh yeah um, and then it'slike yeah, it's like that door
(07:41):
was not meant for me, I think Itried opening it.
It could even be you're openingit too soon and you're not
ready for that, that's true.
So also rushing things um.
Just isn't, it isn't, you knowthe plan isn't the purpose.
So yeah, it's always good toredirect and just figure it out
I've kind of added that to myprayer.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Life is um for god to like for me to be on the pace
that he sees for me to be onwhere you know.
If I need to slow down thisseason, allow me to slow down.
If I need to speed up, Iactually do something instead of
right sitting on my butt, thenallow that yeah, you know to for
me to see that and to move but,I thought you you brought up a
good point, though the pacematters yeah, I feel like it's
often forgot right it's like theopportunity, you know.
(08:21):
You know when matters too, sookay.
So I saved this one for last,because I feel like this may tie
into um our topic for today,but this one is what is one
moment um in your life that hasreally shaped you or made a huge
impact um.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
So again going back to my kids, um, both okay.
So adeline, I don't know if youknew this about adeline too,
but when she was born she wasborn with the left clip foot, no
, so her foot was fully turnedin like a good 90 degrees um,
and it was stuck like that.
When I first saw her littlefoot after I had her thought it
was broken, I asked the nurse.
(09:01):
I was like, well is, can youtell me what's wrong here?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
yeah, and they're like oh my gosh, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
And I was like, well is, can you tell me what's wrong
here?
Yeah, and they're like, oh mygosh, I don't know.
And I was like what do you mean?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
you don't know, you're the nurse, like yeah if
you don't know, you got aproblem stressful first time,
mom, I was by myself at the.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
It was like overnight at that time, um and so I was
like stressing out, but I waslike it's okay, like she's not
crying, so it doesn't hurt her.
Anyways, fast forward.
We found out she had a clubfoot.
We had to start treatment rightaway.
She was like a couple weeks oldand she was put into a cast.
And so these casts it was aseries of casts they were
(09:37):
basically stretching her footinto the opposite direction.
That way it can stretch out thisAchilles tendon, where they can
go in and then snip it tostretch the achilles tendon and
correct the clubfoot.
Wow, so first time mom againdid it.
I had no idea this washappening.
(09:58):
Um went to a doctor in lubbockand the first treatment we did
like a series of four casts.
Every single week she would geta new cast and then they had to
go in and do the surgery.
The surgery it was in office noanesthesia.
(10:18):
They didn't put no anesthesiaon my little baby's ankle.
They just went in and literallysnipped the back of her
achilles and then put her backin a cast and we had to wait
like nine weeks after that toget it off maybe six weeks.
So nine weeks sounds a littlebit much.
Um, that was a crazy experienceum wow and I'll try to make that
(10:40):
one short, because it's a longthat they ended up not doing it
correctly.
Um, we ended up getting asecond opinion and that doctor
told us that it was doneincorrectly and it actually made
her foot worse oh gosh startover from the beginning, start
casting.
She had another surgery.
She was good.
Then covid hit um, and soaround that time we you, you
(11:03):
know, we took that veryseriously.
We stayed indoors.
We didn't go, cause the doctorwas in Dallas.
We did not go to Dallas, um,and in that time her foot
regressed again.
So we had to start treatmentone more time Again.
Series of casts, all thestretching.
She was about three years oldat this time.
She had a surgery.
(11:25):
They've fully fixed it.
This time they had to realignthe tendons on top of her foot.
So what they did was theysnipped the tendon that connects
to her big toe and they sharedit with the one on her pinky toe
.
So if you can imagine that, itkind of pulled over the foot so
it could be straight, um.
But that one was probably thebest experience we ever had.
(11:48):
We had a different doctor.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
He was great with her , he fixed her and since then
she's been fully healed I'mgoing to say because I
definitely see your videos ofher and her soccer, soccer now
um, she gets to do everything alittle normal little kid gets to
do.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
It's like her foot is smaller, it's cute, it's like a
whole shoe size smaller thanher right foot.
Um, but she's capable of doingeverything.
And, you know, there was apoint where I was scared, like
if this was gonna, you know, besomething for the rest of her
life that she's gonna have todeal with, and it was gonna keep
her from being she's an activelittle girl.
Yeah, it feels gonna keep herfrom being active or, you know,
(12:24):
playing with friends and.
But no, everything worked outand it was great and it a couple
shut doors but led us to a newdoctor and a new hospital.
That helped her so much and itwas a great experience.
That time, um, the one beforewas really hard to deal with,
sounds like it, um, but thatchanged a lot because I really
(12:45):
had to surrender to god and justput it all in his hands and be
like lord, I trust you, withthis she's going to be fully
healed, she's not going to havecomplications like this is not
what she meant for her life andI fully believed that.
And here she is walking in alittle.
She's a walking testimony of amiracle because you know it was
hard to deal with um, and thensame with alexander.
(13:08):
So alexander is on the autismspectrum.
Um, he's non-verbal, he.
We don't really know the extentof where he's at on the
spectrum so far, we just knowyou know that he's on it.
That's one thing is the lack ofresources here is hard.
We've been on waiting lists tosee doctors to get like an
official diagnosis, um, but weknow all we need to know at the
(13:31):
moment.
So how old is he?
He is um five.
He'll be six in july, so thathas also been you know both of
their.
So adeline with her footbrother on the spectrum, we call
alexander brother, so yeah, Isay brother a lot, that's what
we call them.
Okay, um, those two things havereally it really caused a big
(13:53):
shift in my life, because I, youknow, when you think of you're
having kids, you don't reallyexpect anything to be.
I don't want to use the wordwrong, because nothing is wrong
with them, but it kind ofdisrupts that perfect picture
you have in your head um and thechallenges that came with it at
the time were hard, butthinking back on it now I'm like
(14:13):
, wow, that really wasn't as badas it felt in the moment you
know, but those two thingsreally did cause a shift, um,
but I would say for for good,because, again, I had to
surrender it all.
I grew up in church.
I grew up.
I've never not known jesus, um,but this made me see him in a
(14:36):
different way, you know.
It made me put.
You know, you grow up by.
Oh, I love jesus, I trust injesus.
I give my all.
But, as a mom going throughthese things, I really had to.
I had to just lay it all downand just be like God these are
your babies.
At the end of the day, theseare your babies.
You're trusting me with them.
You gave them to me for areason, so I'm going to walk in
(14:57):
whatever path you need me towalk in for them.
And so if it wasn't for myfaith in Jesus, I think it would
have been way harder than whatit was.
Wow.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
So tell us about Brother, brother, yes, so give
us the insight into your life,your everyday, his life, his
life.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
He is a there's so many words I can describe
Brother.
He's just a wonderful littleboy.
He's the best little boy that Iknow, um, he is, he's nonverbal
so he doesn't speak, but hecommunicates very well Um his
day-to-day life.
He's does everything.
A normal, you know, uh,neurotypical is what they say
(15:42):
kid does.
So you know, know, he goes toschool, he has his little school
routine.
He comes home, he loves hislittle magnet tiles.
Um, he likes to watch hisfavorite movies, he likes to
cuddle with sister or with me orwith dad, and really if you
were to see alexander and notknow that he's on the spectrum,
you really wouldn't know untilmaybe you see like a stem, him
(16:05):
stimming, or he does a lot ofvocal stems.
So he likes to like repeatsounds.
Um, he likes to, he does theselittle things with his fingers
and with his hands.
Those are the things that youwould see from an outside
looking in and be like oh,that's different, you know.
But other than that that he's,he's great.
He's a great little kid, he'svery smart.
(16:26):
Um, he's very playful, he lovespeople and so he's just.
I don't know, he's perfect.
Um, something about Alexanderis like like the stimming.
So with autistic children,stimulations are different for
(16:47):
each one.
Some of them are like superhypersensitive and the stimming
is a way where they canself-regulate.
Okay, so think in this roomright now, like there's an AC
right there.
An autistic child might behearing that air conditioner 10
times more than we are, and sofor them.
(17:07):
If it's freaking them out, ifit's too loud and they're
oversensitive, they might startstimming to self-regulate to
calm themselves down.
And so in that instance I feelsomething that people don't see
is a kid trying to calmthemselves, but instead they're
(17:28):
seeing maybe a kid acting out.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Yeah, no, that does make sense.
And I think for me, being inenvironments where you see a kid
stimming or an adult stimming,I didn't understand what the
what they, the reason for theiractions or what they were doing.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
But now it's like okay, now that makes sense yeah,
um, alexander used to spin alot in little.
That was one of the first signs.
He was six months old and Inoticed him just like spinning
um in circles and that's onething that I brought to his
pediatrician.
I'm like he does.
This is that, you know,something we look for.
And of course he's six months,it's like no, he's just, you
(18:07):
know just baby behaviors Likehe's okay, and then the little,
the arms flapping started.
But he would do that when he'shappy, and so he gets excited
and he starts flapping hislittle hands and his fingers and
again told the doctor oh, no,it's okay, it's he's just, you
know, expressing emotions and itreally wasn't until he was
about a year old that theyfinally listened to me and
(18:30):
they're like oh it was actuallya different doctor.
She's like, yeah, you shouldhave started therapy like a
while back, and I was like, well, I tried, but here we are.
But yes, stimming is a form ofself-regulation.
Even, you know, lights can besuper sensitive to them, sounds,
textures of clothes Brotherdoesn't really have, he's not
(18:54):
big on textures, but some kidscan be so overwhelmed by certain
textures where it can feelpainful to them almost because
it's so uncomfortable.
There's some kids you know thatAlexander's never done this but
where they will just, you know,take off their clothes because
they don't like the feeling ofit.
One thing I've learned as a momto an autistic child is just,
(19:19):
you never know what autism is.
An invisible thing, right?
You can't see someone and belike, oh, they're definitely on
the spectrum.
Yeah, something's definitelygoing on.
You really can't tell.
So every time I'm at thegrocery store and I see a kid
having, you know, a hard time,my first thing isn't to think,
oh, they're just terrible,terrible tubes, or that poor mom
(19:42):
dealing with the terriblebehavior or something.
Instead it's like oh well, youdon't, maybe it's too noisy in
here for them, or maybe there'stoo many people around, or maybe
they can hear that cartsqueaking like times 10.
Yeah, you know.
And so it really gives you adifferent perspective on how to
see, um, not only children, butthe parents too, because at one
(20:06):
point it was hard for us to goout in public.
One, we didn't like to stressout, alexander, because it is
stressful for them.
Two, you don't like when peoplelook at you and they're like oh
, that kid is bad.
No, it's like your kid's not bad.
He's just having a hard timeand as a parent, you do all you
can to help.
You know, bring them back downand get them self-regulated, but
(20:30):
they're at the same time.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
There's only so much you can do yeah so wow is I'm
thinking, even with this, what?
Probably 10-15 minutes.
I'm like whoa, I just you startto see things and I'm sure
there's people listening.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
They're like, oh, I didn't, even, I didn't think of
that yeah there's a lot, there'sa lot, I feel like people don't
think about.
Um, even so, even when we firstheard the words like alexander,
you know, is on the spectrum,he's autistic, and then you
think so my instant thought waslike how am I going to get him
(21:08):
to fit into this world, this youknow everyday life of, you know
the people and what's it calledlike social norms?
Um, and instead my, my thinkingon it has shifted from how can
I get him to fit in to how can Iget the world to be, or the
(21:30):
environment to be, moreaccepting of him.
It's he doesn't need to befixed, but we can.
If people had more knowledge oryou know, even just the
slightest little bit of an ideaof what it's like to have a kid
with autism, it would justchange so much you know.
And so that really has been abig shift for me.
(21:53):
It's not, I don't need to fixAlexander to fit in.
We just need to figure out howto fix those around us, you know
, to accommodate him better.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Yeah.
So it makes sense, yeah, I meanseriously.
I'm just sitting here and I'mlike, yeah, because I've seen,
you know, kids in their grocerystores having temper tantrums
and I didn't pay attention tosee you know if they were um
steaming or what was actuallygoing on.
You automatically just see aterrible kid and you're like
dude, get it together, fix yourbehavior.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
But yeah, you know that mom is not doing anything
to try to calm their kid down.
And it's hard, it really is umsome things alexander likes.
He likes like um, tight hugs orlike pressure.
So one thing we learned inoccupational therapy is like if
he's having a meltdown and ifyou're somewhere in public, to
just, from head to toe, juststart applying pressure.
(22:47):
So what I would do is I got tostart at his head and just give
like light squeezes, go down tohis shoulders, squeeze arms and
you will just see.
If you watch lilo and stitch,okay, you know the part where
stitch is like building a cityand then he goes and wrecks it
yeah okay that.
Imagine that I always picturethat as alexander when he's
having a meltdown, just wreckingthe, and then you see lilo and
(23:08):
she puts a blanket over him andhe just lays down that's
literally alexander, and how tocalm like a meltdown, that's
what it feels like, and so Ijust do, like pressure on his
arms, on his legs, and heliterally will just calm down.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Can anyone do that to him, or is it just you?
Speaker 3 (23:30):
So Alexander isn't.
He's not picky on touch oranything.
There are kids who don't liketo be touched Alexander.
But I feel like I didn't givehim a choice Because since he's
a baby, I've been a smotheringmom.
I grab him and I don't give hima choice.
He hugs me, he gives me kisses,I get to squeeze him all I want
, and so he really doesn't mindthe touch and that's something
(23:54):
too.
So when your kid is on thespectrum and so he's been in
school since he was three theschool system is actually really
good at asking these questionsto know how to accommodate to
your child, specifically Becausenot every autistic kid is the
same Everyone, I would say.
They're all different, theyhave similarities, but some like
(24:17):
things, some don't like things.
Alexander doesn't mind beingtouched, but there's some kids
who, if you're not my mom,you're not going to touch me,
and I make it known Um,alexander's also a runner.
He sees an open backyard andhe's running.
He likes to go from like fenceto house, Like if we're in our
backyard, fence to house, fenceto house, um, but at school they
(24:39):
say the same thing He'll run tothe fence and then run back.
But so those are questions thatthey ask Like does your child
and they?
They know the general questions.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Does your?
Speaker 3 (24:47):
child like to run?
Yes, so they put an extra buddywith them to make sure you know
he doesn't get away, or anextra teacher or something like
that.
That way, eyes are on himbecause he's fast too.
He made me sprint through MusicCity Mall one time because we
were playing in the jungle gymand he just took off running and
I had to run after him and ofcourse he doesn't mean it.
(25:09):
He's always giggling andlaughing.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
He's having the time of his life.
I was going to say having thetime of his life.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
Having the best time, and there's nothing better than
seeing Hair blowing in the wind, yeah, literally.
Have you seen his hair?
It's long and it kind of likebounces when he runs.
It's so cute, but in the momentI'm like bro, you just made me
sprint and I haven't done thatin forever.
Yeah, but stuff like that.
Like his teachers have been sogreat.
You know asking all thequestions what foods do, because
(25:36):
again, that's another thingvery picky, very, very picky
eater.
He does not like to eat a lotof things really.
yes, um, his favorite things arelike fruit, which thankful,
chicken, thankful, and he likesbreads, but so if the chicken is
not crispy, he won't eat it I'mnot mad.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Yeah, it has to be some crispy chicken.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
Um, if he doesn't like fruit, that's like wet, so
like bananas are.
No he don't, doesn't likebananas, um so like a apple he
loves apples I think what elseis like he?
Loves grapes but, if they're,if they get too mushy, those
stay in the bag he won't takeout.
He'll just eat the crispy ones.
Breads he loves breads.
(26:20):
He'll walk around Like ifthere's barbecue and we're
eating hot dogs, he'll just havethe hot dog bun.
And that's it.
So stuff like that.
His teachers they actually hisclass actually won a grant a few
years ago.
So they have a full kitchen inhis classroom, oh shoot, years
ago.
So they have a full kitchen inhis classroom, oh shoot.
And so we get to just sendingredients and his teachers
will make him his food, and that, as a mom, is comforting
(26:41):
because I know my kid's gonnaeat what he wants, even though
he's picky.
Not what he wants, what he likes, um, and he's not, you know,
starving at school because allthey have is cafeteria food or
something.
So I feel like that kind ofwent off a little bit too.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
But, um, no, this is all like very important
information, I feel like for uswho are not exposed or don't
really know anything about um,the autism, autistic, okay, like
that world.
By the way, I did not mentionearlier.
So april is national, I did notmention it earlier.
(27:20):
So April is national autismmonth, which is yes, which is
the reason why, um, I have Lexihere because we're friends in
real life, but also on socialmedia.
I see her posting a lot yeah,and I was like this is actually
interesting and I would love tohave you come on, um, and just
educate us all.
Educate for more.
So for myself as well.
I mean as well, um, just toknow.
But I was going somewhere withthat, but I have no clue where
(27:41):
that where was.
Just.
Yeah, I was like I don't know.
So how did you?
What is?
There's two things I thoughtabout go with the first one.
So I know he's mentioned thathe was non-verbal.
Is that in this?
Does he do any sign language orno?
Speaker 3 (27:53):
he did not take to sign language we do try um, he
will sign like more.
He'll sign, please, when hewants to oh it's at this point.
I don't know if it's becauseit's me and he knows I
understand him uh-huh where hewon't do it.
I'm not.
I know at school hecommunicates a little
differently.
Um, at school he actually haslike an ipad where they prompt
(28:15):
words oh and so at our lastmeeting they actually said he's
doing really good with that, andso I kind of want to get one
for us too.
Right now we have like a gridon the fridge with prompts and
he'll point to them, but for themost part, he I just understand
him, yeah.
One time I have a cousin whotold me she she's like you're
(28:36):
probably one of the only peoplethat understand, understands his
language, and I was like, wow,you're right, because it really
is.
You know me, him, dad, we, weunderstand him, yeah.
Um.
However, I can see how it wouldbe hard for others to understand
him.
He loves to guide people, so hewas here.
Of course he's very comfortablewith people.
(28:56):
Uh-huh, he would, and he wanted.
Course he's very comfortablewith people.
Oh, he would, and he wantedsomething.
He would go grab your hand andhe'll walk you all the way over
and then he'll make your handpoint to it oh if he has my hand
and he wants water, he'llliterally point my hand to the
water.
But we do a lot of very smart,yeah he is very smart he lets
you know.
He, he's non-verbal, but he cancommunicate, yeah, and he will
(29:20):
make sure you understand whathe's asking for.
Um, what are they called likecues?
So he'll, he'll give us the cueand we'll verbally say it,
because eventually he will endup, yes, yes he will um he has
said a few things.
I think when he turned four iswhen he started saying some
words.
However, they don't alwaysstick all the time.
(29:42):
Sometimes it'll just be for aperiod of time and then they'll
go away.
Um, but we do know he can saythem, he is able.
He did say I love you for thefirst time a couple months ago,
so clear, so perfect, and hesaid it over and over, maybe
like 10 times.
I caught a little bit on video,but he has not said it since
(30:02):
then.
Okay, um, he, he has said I loveyou, but not as clear as he did
it that first time.
Yeah, now it kind of soundslike I wub, wub, wub you, and
that's enough for me because,you know, at one point I was
like I don't know if I'll everhear his voice, but he does show
me.
You know, every once in a whilehe'll say it.
(30:25):
Um, and to me I take that as asign is I don't know if he'll
always be non-verbal.
If he is, then he is, if he'snot, then he's not.
But we've learned and we'readapting to how he communicates
and that's what he really needsfrom us to just figure out what
it is and how, how he's able tocommunicate with us.
And you know we can, we canlive with that.
(30:47):
That's perfectly fine wow.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
So how is big sister adapting?
Speaker 3 (30:53):
oh, she's the best big sister and I think everyone
that experiences them togethersays the same thing um, she is.
When I'm not there, she's, youknow, beside him and helping.
She wants, and they're the samesize, but this girl wants to
carry him everywhere.
I'm like adeline, he's a bigboy, you can let him walk, yeah,
(31:15):
um, but she'll talk him.
She understands him too.
So if we're around friends, andyou know all the littles are
together, she will stick by hisside and make sure he's okay.
She can tell when he wants, youknow, a snack or water or
something, and she'll eithercome get us or she'll let them
know.
She's also his voice and she'shis little protector.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
So she also lets people know my brother's
autistic and she'll say it tooand you know she helps her
friends understand.
That was kind of hard at onepoint because they'd ask her
like, well, why doesn't yourbrother talk or why doesn't your
brother want to play with us?
And she'll explain it.
And for a six-year-old sheexplains it very well, wow.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
So I thought that's going to be something that um
will allow her to be able to.
I guess you can just say,relate to people a lot better.
Yeah, because she's she'shaving to to show you know this
compassion, um, and I think it'sgoing to definitely probably
that's such a young age, yeah um, it's already been spoken over
(32:16):
her life a few times that she'sgoing to be an advocate for, not
only alexander, but for kidswith special needs in general
and I love that for her I cantotally see it, and if that's
what god has planned for her, Ilove it wow it's exciting wow
your mental strongness.
I just the from listening to you.
(32:37):
I like our mental toughness iswhat I'm supposed to say, I was
like that did not come out right.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Mental strongness, whatever it is you figured it
out.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
listening, anyway, I'm like wow, to go from your
daughter and her journey toswitch over to now your son, and
having to figure out how tofigure that out while still
parenting, by the way, yeah, soas long as you have one, so you
have.
You're having, you know toadjust to make sure that he's
(33:06):
comfortable, but then alsoparent the way your daughter
needs to be.
Parent right, so you're almostI mean obviously any, any parent
has parenting kids twodifferent ways, but I feel like
yours are that's yeah, and youknow, sometimes I don't realize
it until it's brought to myattention in that way, because I
guess we've just adapted to itso well and I don't really
(33:27):
notice.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
I don't really notice it, but I do appreciate it when
it's brought up to me, becauseI'm not thinking of that you
know and I appreciate that.
That means a lot to me.
I always tell people the bestcompliment I've ever received is
how well I'm doing as a mother.
That's the one that I take toheart, you know, and, um, they
both have helped me grow so muchto where.
(33:51):
And then again this, this allgoes back to my faith, you know,
and God knowing, I have God bymy side every single moment.
I feel like that's what helps mestay strong, because it does.
I don't want to steer anyonewrong.
It does get hard.
It does get tough.
There's times where I'm like,why, why Adeline, why Alexander?
(34:15):
You know both of them havestruggles in different ways and
I'm like, why, why them?
You know, Um, but at the end ofthe day, I know God has a plan
for both of them, for Adelineand for Alexander.
Whatever that may be, there's aperfect plan in place, and if
it was, you know, meant to bethis way, for a picture that we
(34:36):
can't see just yet, then we'llsee it when it comes.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
And.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
I just have to trust that God, you know, has our back
the whole way through it.
It comes, wow, and I just haveto trust that god, you know, has
our back the whole way throughit and I truly, truly, truly
believe.
That is why I'm able to staymentally tough, because you know
, without if with him, nothingyou know nothing is going to
fail yeah we'll be okay, yeah,but jeez can you imagine I'm
like for you, your um, yourmental health and self-care they
(35:06):
are important.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
Yeah, so you know, make sure now, I know this I
definitely will be just droppingin and say hey, make sure you
take care of yourself.
I would appreciate because,your.
Your little ones need you.
Even when they become big ones,they're still gonna need you.
They are.
I say that because I still needmy mom to this day.
So, yeah, you gotta make sureyou take care of yourself yeah,
because you're getting pulled um, and you're having to grow
(35:29):
because, I mean, let's even talkabout that process of having to
, you know, learn how to parent.
Um, you know, brother, and,like I said, you have your
daughter's one way, he's anotherway, but at the same same time
you're still mom, right.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
I will say with Alexander doing the early
intervention therapy.
I would say that helped a lotBecause and shout out to Permia
Care, I was just telling youabout them yeah, they helped us
so much in the beginning Because, again, we had no idea what we
were doing.
We had, I had no idea whatautism spectrum really was and
(36:09):
how it affected not only thekids but the parents and the
siblings.
And, um, you know, doing thetherapies, we did speech therapy
, we did occupational therapy,we did play therapy and, we did
all the therapies.
And they really were a goodresource for me.
They not only helped him, butthey helped me Because, like we
(36:30):
were talking earlier, at the endof the day I'm the one that's
going to be doing it for therest of our life.
I can't rely on thesetherapists to come in and help
him.
So they really taught me how tonavigate through it.
And so they really taught mehow to navigate through it.
(36:52):
They taught me all the tips andtricks, all the signs like how
to look out for when he'soverstimulated and that's
causing a tantrum versusemotions, like if he's just
upset or you know somethingthrew him off or sleep
regressions were really reallyhard.
Those are still hard.
Just earlier this week, he didnot sleep all night long, really
all night long.
I think he went to bed at likesix in the morning.
Um, needless to say, I kept himhome from school that next day
because he didn't sleep at alland that's, that's a normal
(37:15):
thing and that's a normal thingthat people don't really talk
about.
yeah, um, and really I don'tknow why it happens, but there's
just I want to say it happensat least once a month where he
will pull an all-nighter andjust be up and he'll be the
happiest, giggliest, ready toplay, and I'm just laying there
like please go to bed go tosleep.
(37:37):
But it just, you know, that'ssomething we have to learn to
navigate with and therapy andstuff.
That really helped.
That really helped put my mindinto trying to figure out what's
going to help him versus tryingto figure out on myself, by
myself and being all over theplace yeah, wow resources are
(37:58):
important, and I feel likethat's one thing that we have
some of in the area, but not alot of, or maybe?
Speaker 2 (38:07):
not enough of.
I feel like probably not enough.
Yeah, I don't think even.
I think just medically ingeneral, if you have anything
abnormal, you're probably eitherhaving to go to lubbock, dallas
or houston yeah which does suckwe went to lubbock.
Speaker 3 (38:21):
Well, for adeline.
We went to lubbock first andthen ended up in dallas for
alexander.
We're on waiting lists indallas and in san antonio oh,
she was like a whole state thing.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Yes, there's.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
There was one doctor in west texas um in lubbock, but
she's no longer with us, ohyeah oh okay, um, which was
crazy, it was again around covid.
Um, she's the only doctor there, because a regular pediatrician
(38:51):
can't diagnose autism disorder.
They have to be um, like a neurodoctor they can't, they can't,
just, you know, they have to getlike a psychiatric evaluation
by a neuro physician, and sothat's why we have to go to
these big cities where there'stons of neuro physicians there's
none really here, especiallyfor pediatrics.
(39:12):
Um.
So there was one in lubbockthat we were on a waiting list
for, and it was again aroundcovid and sadly she had got
covid right about the time wewere about to go see her, and so
since then we've been onwaiting lists for this whole
time.
Wow.
But luckily our school district, they, um, they do their own
(39:33):
evaluation because, againPermacare.
They helped us, they set us up,they got us the appointments.
We went to the eval and theschool district needs an
evaluation to get them into,like the special education
department.
So they brought a doctor down.
We went and had our evaluationat the administration building
and their system is a littledifferent because they want your
(39:55):
kid to meet the standard to getthe help Right.
So they said this evaluation isnowhere near what an actual you
know, for an official diagnosiswould be.
It was kind of an easier way toget in that way he doesn't miss
out on the help while waitingfor the actual right.
I think that makes some senseyeah, so that was um again when
(40:18):
he turned three, becausepedicare will help you until
you're three years old and thenafter that you do private
therapy or school, and so wewent the school route, because
he does still get therapyservices in class, so he gets
speech therapy and umoccupational therapy at school I
wonder okay, I have, I actuallyhave a one, I think she's an
(40:40):
occupational therapist, mycousin.
Oh cool, she's actually for theschool district oh nice, maybe
she may be alexander is,alexander goes to cameron, so I
have to ask her.
That's one of the schools shegoes to I know she's always
talking about someone having tovisit a school, but I never
asked her she used to go tolamar and I loved I loved lamar
so much um the teachers therewere so great.
(41:01):
And again there they hadoccupational speech.
I don't know if he did physicaltherapy there, I don't think he
did.
But that school I wish theywould just be like a special
needs school and a preschool.
You know, all in one,alexander's class is actually um
, all grades are in there andI'm not sure how does that work.
Yeah, he's the onlykindergartner in his class and I
(41:24):
just learned that barelybecause I saw on this little
list they have, but he's akindergartner.
I think they have two firstgraders and the rest are like
third and fourth graders andcrazy, but they're all boys
except for one.
There's one girl in his class.
There's 11 kids total.
Wow, so I don't know.
Kids total, wow, so I don'tknow.
(41:44):
I guess that's just how it is.
Once they, you know, inpreschool it was just his age
group, um, in a class, but sincehe's in elementary school now
they're just all together.
But he has tons of teachers.
So I want to say the ratio islike two to one, oh, two
students to one teacher.
Yeah, so he's getting all thecare, all the you know help,
know help that he needs and Ilove that His teachers have been
(42:04):
so great with him.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
Okay, I was like when you said that, I was like no,
what's that ratio?
Because my brain was likethat's not.
But okay, two to one is not.
That makes sense for sure.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
They, you know, they set goals for him every school
year and they do things that are, you know, not crazy, where
it's like, oh, he needs to learnhow to write his name in
cursive or you know somethingnot achievable.
So far, I think he's met everygoal that they set for him.
He's been doing really, reallygood.
So it's exciting.
(42:35):
It's exciting to see that'sanother thing I was going to
talk about you know themilestones that we see our kids.
Do you know crawling andwalking and saying mama the
first time?
And those seem so differentwhen your kid is on the spectrum
because you don't really knowwhen you're going to get to that
milestone.
You know, I feel likemilestones are like, okay,
(42:57):
between ages of three months andsix months they're going to
start, you know, babbling babytalk.
And from six months to a yearthey're gonna start crawling and
it was way off for us withalexander.
He didn't start crawling tillhe was about 13 months old, a
little after a year, and then hestarted walking at 14 months.
So it was just you never knewwhat, what you're gonna get,
(43:18):
like the talking that happened.
He was four when he said hisfirst word um.
So that makes you reallyappreciate those milestones in a
different way, because they'renot expected.
You know, as a as adeline hit,you know milestones, yeah, on
the dot almost, but it makes yousee it as I.
(43:39):
I feel like it's a biggercelebration because it's like,
wow it.
It took a while, but we're hereand we did it.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
He's keeping on your toes.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
Yeah, he really is.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
Yeah, you never know what you're going to get.
That is sweet, wow.
This is first of all.
I want to say thank you forcoming on and giving us the
insight into your world, intobrother's world, and to educate
us all, and hopefully I wouldsay you guys took something from
(44:08):
what she said.
Oh, one thing I do want tobring up.
What resources do we have sosomeone listening to this that
has a little one that's eitheron the spectrum or maybe is
diagnosed with something else,what resources do we have that
you know of?
Speaker 3 (44:25):
For sure, permeate care, especially if your child
is under the age of three yearsold.
Early intervention is alwaysthe best way to go because
you'll start learning right away, as they're babies.
I feel like that's what helpedwith Alexander.
He was a little baby and headopted really well to therapy.
It took a little bit, it took alittle bit of consistency, and
he adopted really well totherapy.
It took a little bit, it took alittle bit of consistency, um,
(44:46):
especially him getting used todifferent faces and the teaching
and you know, therapy is notall you know sunshine and
rainbows.
It really gets them out oftheir comfort zone.
So there is a little discomfortwith it, but it all works out
and it's great and every singleperson I ever came across with
PermiaCare was wonderful, notonly with Brother but with us as
(45:08):
parents and they would check inon us and support us and it was
really really, really goodprogram to be in.
Other than that, the SHAREprogram is a great resource for
not only parents with kids onthe spectrum, but you know any
kind of special needs is theyhelp.
(45:28):
They have parent support groups, they have sibling support
groups.
You know because sometimes asibling kind of feels left out.
You know, when you have a kidwith special needs it looks like
all your attention goes to them.
And if they have a sibling.
It could seem like, you know,maybe mom and dad are just care
about.
You know my brother, my sisterand they need extra help so they
(45:49):
have like siblings day outwhere they'll go and do
activities with the othersibling um you know to make them
feel, yeah, to make them feelloved and cared for.
They have they like take care ofyour kids too, so parents can
have a parents night out.
They have a care of your kidstoo, so parents can have a
parent's night out.
They have a bunch of stuff therodeo they always have a free
sensory night for the rodeo.
The fair they always have asensory night for the fair.
(46:12):
But they're also starting newthings like sensory time at I
don't know if Cher is the onethat does this, but sensory time
like at the theater.
Synergy.
I would say, just get pluggedinto one of those groups and
they always keep you updatedwhat's going on, not only within
their organization but withinthe community.
Um like sensory free, you know,like I said, movie times or I've
(46:33):
seen the trampoline park.
Do that um the rodeo, the fair.
They really keep you plugged inwith stuff like that well,
that's good.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
It's good to also know that you have a community
that's um willing to thinkoutside the box yeah and not
leave anyone behind there'sactually the share um.
Speaker 3 (46:49):
They're having a share walk on the 26th of this
month and so that's like aresource fair.
Um, we've done it the last fewyears.
Uh, we're just gonna be guests.
This year we didn't make a team, but it's very helpful.
There's so much that there thecommunity offers that we don't
know of you know, until you kindof get plugged into stuff like
that, but that I would say, ifyou have anyone in your family
(47:13):
that's on the spectrum specialneeds, that share walk is a
great.
There's like booths everywherewith great resources.
Therapy there's like musictherapy there there's a little.
Speaker 2 (47:24):
That sounds interesting.
Speaker 3 (47:25):
Alexander did music therapy for a little bit at
Lamar.
It's actually because he lovesmusic and pretty much what it is
.
They like play with instruments.
Some kids, you know, find itsoothing for stuff like that.
Alexander is a repetitive type,so he likes repetitive sounds,
so like the drumming he stufflike that.
Alexander is a repetitive type,so he likes repetitive sounds,
so like the drumming he doeslike that.
(47:46):
Um, I'm not really sure whatelse they did, but I know he did
enjoy music therapy.
Um, I know there's like alittle ranch in midland that
does like horse therapy, notonly for kids on the spectrum
but for kids with special needs,and they'll go horseback riding
and count your girl out.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
I'm gonna undo it, but I'm definitely not going, so
that's not for me.
No, I don't do pets politely.
Speaker 3 (48:12):
No, I should say pets , animals, none of that no um
but yeah, that was like I had noidea that existed until we saw
them at the sharewalk.
So definitely get plugged intosomething that will show you
what's, because sometimes youdon't know what's around until
you actually dig and look for itum, and sadly, sometimes that's
what we have to do is dig andlook.
(48:33):
But that resource fair is agreat way to get plugged in.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
Yeah, gosh, I would just say start somewhere, and um
, this is for anyone yeah justyou're.
Just, you're not alone.
You don't have to do life alone, right, um?
So just reach out to someone,um, and get plugged in community
matters.
Everyone needs a village,whether you're an adult or, um,
(48:57):
you're a kid.
Yep, that's one thing I had tolearn.
I would definitely sit at myhouse by myself.
I was like, look, everyone needsa village yeah, definitely well
, is there anything else thatyou want to share with us, that
we have not touched on, um thatyou want to bring up?
Speaker 3 (49:12):
um, I would just say, as encouragement for parents
you know that are on the samewalk, like what you just said,
to find a village to get pluggedinto I would say that you are
chosen for this.
God has a plan for you, and notonly for you, but for your
child.
I know it seems like sometimeswe can't see past.
(49:33):
you know, today but, there's aperfect plan for all of us and
you're equipped, you can do it.
You're not alone.
God is with you throughout itall.
Um, not only that, there's acommunity of parents.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
you know that you can find and I'd love to befriend
anybody, because you know it'shard to find people who relate
right I would say that findsomeone who can relate, that you
can talk to, um thatunderstands what you're going
through and you know you can doit, it's it's achievable, we can
get through it, we can learn,we can grow, we can adapt and we
(50:09):
can advocate and be a voice forour kids yeah, and I was
listening to you now and I'mgoing back to what you said
earlier, when you were, you know, I think at first you said you
were like you know why me, whymy kids, and I'm like, well, it
sounds like I'm sure you figuredit out out since then, but it
sounds like you were chosen I'mjust going to say it and I feel
(50:29):
like it's chosen based upon you.
Have your faith, like you said,that you know that's what keeps
you, you know, going andmentally strong, and I'm like,
oh, so that's why you know Godgifted them to you is because he
knows he put them in handswhere you know you will still
look to him to guide you throughhow to raise them.
Speaker 3 (50:48):
Right.
Thank you for that.
Because, only now I feel likeI'm fully, I'm starting to walk
in the purpose God has plannedfor me.
And if it's this, if it's beinga voice and an advocate for not
only these children but forparents, because I think parents
need it too.
Parents need it just as much,because it's tough and it's you
(51:11):
know, it's hard getting thestares and the whispers and it's
.
It's noticeable.
You know people make itnoticeable and it's hard as a
parent almost makes you want tolike curl up and just stay
inside your house, but that'snot how any of us should live.
I think our kids deserve to seethe world, they deserve a place
in the world and they deservethe love that you know, all of
us get to have.
(51:32):
So I fully feel like God ispreparing me for something more,
you know, just to be anadvocate for families in general
, and I'm ready Lately.
My prayer has been.
Speaker 2 (51:48):
God, I'm ready for this.
Speaker 3 (51:49):
If this is where you need me to be, I'm ready for it.
Speaker 1 (51:53):
Let's do it.
Speaker 3 (51:54):
Because I think I really have a passion for not
only the children, but for theparents too.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
Well, kudos to you, and I definitely will be.
You're on my have.
Like certain people like that.
I just drop in and say, hey,you know how's it going.
Do you need anything?
usually, if I need anything islike a coffee or dinner, like oh
I do um because I realize a lotof times I think we always
think help has to be somethingdrastic, but sometimes just the
(52:24):
presence or the fact that, likeoh shoot, you know she thought
of me or you know she's rocking,yeah, like the little little
things, should I say, matter um,and I'm big on little things,
yeah I think it's.
Those are the simple thingsthat actually like make the make
the difference.
Right you know, versus the biggrand gesture that is like what?
(52:46):
Yeah, where you'd be.
Like what was that?
Yeah, I get you.
That's just me.
Okay.
One last question before we'redone what do you stand for?
Speaker 3 (52:56):
I stand for inclusivity.
I feel like everyone deserves tobe included, but I also stand
for love.
I feel like that's what we aretruly called to do is to love
each other, love everyone.
I think everyone deserves love.
Everyone deserves to be loved,and we need to be better at
(53:17):
giving love and showing love toall around us.
It's just that's really thething god wants from us is to
love each other and be togetherand stand together and help one
another, and that's truly what Istand for all right, it's funny
and I talked about the othernight.
Speaker 2 (53:37):
Um, you know, my bible always says like you know,
love your neighbor likeyourself, and I'm like.
Well, I think half the battlethat we have as the world is we
don't take the time to loveourselves yeah, that's a big
part of it how are we gonna loveour?
Speaker 3 (53:51):
neighbor if we can't live ourselves yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (53:54):
So now we're gonna leave y'all with to love the
neighbor.
Like lexi just said, you gottalove yourself so once you love
yourself, yes, like findsomething you love.
Love rather it be the coloringbook, which is a side note I
adult.
Speaker 3 (54:10):
Coloring books give me anxiety oh no, my idea a
little like the bold picturecoloring books, like the big
pictures yeah, because I pulledup, I was like these little dots
, like I don't, like.
This is actually giving me realI think they lied when they
said those are adult bro, Istill live in the trash.
Speaker 2 (54:25):
Yeah, I go.
Yeah, I'm like, if it's not thebig ones or something, that's
like huge for a fifth grader orsomething, or a five-year-old I
ain't coloring it, but anyway,sorry, I just get that off my
chest, uh, but find some way tolove yourself.
Yes, and this is, maybe you'rerealizing that you haven't been
(54:46):
loving yourself.
Hey, let this message be astart start doing something you
love you know.
Find goals for yourself, writethem down, start achieving them,
whatever it is.
Just find somewhere to loveyourself, that way you can love
your neighbor because, like wesaid, you can't do one without
the other.
So that's just that.
But thank you again.
(55:08):
Thank you.
This is like this is thoroughly.
I've thoroughly enjoyed this.
Like I'm like okay, so now,especially like with me being
out in the community and I seelittle ones and I'm around
little ones, um, and I onceworked in um a church in the
back with three-year-olds and Iwill never forget experience I
(55:29):
had and I'm not sure I actuallyI think that kid might have been
on the spectrum, yeah, but justbefore this conversation I
didn't know nothing.
I definitely didn't knownothing then and all I knew was
to either give him whatever toyhe wanted or, uh, we used to
give him a toy he wanted or like, obviously, in the back you
(55:53):
have lessons he wasn't gettingdown with the lessons, but I
would just let him be in thecorner as long as he was in the
room.
He wasn't in the bathroom,because the bathroom was right
there.
Um, I kind of let him be, yeahand then sometimes that's all it
.
Speaker 3 (56:07):
Sometimes that's all they want is like they need
their space yeah, and whatevermakes them happy and then
they'll be okay.
Yeah, and I was definitely alearning.
Speaker 2 (56:15):
No, I didn't process, I definitely was, and I
remember to give him the yeah,because that church they had the
worship service um and it was.
It was loud yeah because allthe kids like loud, they'd be
jumping and having a good timeand it would like definitely
yeah, now you'll be able to seethose little cues that where
it's like, okay, maybe it's nota tantrum, but they're
(56:35):
overstimulated.
Yeah now, looking at that, I'mlike that's definitely what that
was yes I think after like thesecond and third thing, I
realized okay, let me get someheadphones.
So, like, as soon as we gotover there, I was like hey, give
me those.
Speaker 3 (56:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (56:48):
Because he used to take off.
Yeah, and I would be like bruh,I got you and all these other
kids and I can't have yourunning off.
So we're going to get you theseheadphones, first, usually
headphones, and then headphones,and then um, at that time I had
crocs to have the charms inthem, so he would have the
headphones on and he would playwith my charms, my crop charms,
and I would let him do it,because he would sit there and
(57:10):
then once they were done, yeah,and I kind of just picked him up
and then we went back to class,but I kind of I learned, like
you said, learning to adjust,yeah but it just was.
No one ever taught us anything,so that probably sucked.
Speaker 3 (57:20):
But yeah, it's definitely a learning process,
but once you know it's, it's so,it's really easy to figure out
um, and really, when it comesdown to just being over, you
know how, when you feeloverstimulated, you want to just
turn everything off.
That's how I see it.
So once I see alexander'soverstimulated, it's like, okay,
let's turn things down, let'sgo a little slower, um, and it
(57:43):
really that does make a bigdifference for them.
Speaker 2 (57:45):
So because them headphones definitely worked,
and so did my charms on my crocsand I, I think at one point I
popped one off.
Did I care?
Not at all.
I was like hey, whatever itworks for you, because me and
you, that's all we got right now.
So we just, we just thugged itout.
So that is that for sure.
Well, thank you guys forlistening.
(58:05):
Thank you, lexi again forcoming on.
And remember, practice someself-love and some self-care
today and peace out until nexttime.
Speaker 1 (58:15):
Thank you for listening to another episode of
Standing in your Truth withYanni and if no one told you
today, you are loved, you arebeautiful, you are needed and
you matter.
Be sure to follow on Facebookat Standing In your Truth
Podcast with Yanni.
Also on Instagram Talks WithYanni.
Hello everyone, welcome to Standing In your
Truth podcast with your host,yanni.
On this podcast you'll hearYanni, family and friends having
open-ended discussions onanything from faith, finances,
relationships and how to staymotivated during life's trying
times.
Make sure to follow on allsocial media platforms.
(00:23):
The social media link is in thebio.
Sit back and get ready to enjoy.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Hello, everyone, welcome to another episode of
Standing in your Truth podcast.
I am your host, yanni.
Hope everyone is enjoying theirEaster break.
Is it a break?
I guess it's Easter break.
That's what it is.
Whatever it is, it is anywayyour time off from school or
work and hopefully, if you'reworking, you got time off.
I know some friends that arestill having to um work, but I'm
(00:53):
blessed, my job allows me tohave good friday off and the
monday, so kudos to them.
Well, I'm gonna allow my guestto introduce herself.
This is a special one, y'all.
I'm going to allow my guest tointroduce herself.
This is a special one, y'all.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Yay, hi, my name is Alexis.
I am a 29-year-old full-timeworking mom of two kids, adeline
and Alexander, and I'm soexcited to be here.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I'm excited to have you, so we're going to start
with house questions and thenwe'll get into the real reason
why she's here and how she'sgoing to help educate us.
So the first one is whatmotivates you?
Speaker 3 (01:31):
This one was an easy one for me.
Ever, since I became a mom, mykids are the one and only thing,
not the only thing, probablythe biggest things that motivate
me.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Honestly, I feel like all the moms that I have on
here are parents, so I saythat's usually what it is.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Yeah, it's like your life just changes after you know
you have your kids andeverything else is just
different, and so my onemotivation is, you know, to give
them a good life, um, to letthem know that they're enough
and they do their best, you knowwhat?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
and whatever.
That is that, that's enough.
Okay, nothing's wrong with thatat all.
How do you protect your mentalhealth?
Speaker 3 (02:11):
I used to be really bad at protecting my mental
health In a way where maybe Ifelt like it just wasn't as
important you know, but latelyI'd say over the last year or so
I've really just been takingthe time to myself, doing things
that I enjoy.
I love to read, I like to dolike little crafts puzzles,
(02:33):
adeline, and I like to open acoloring book and just chill
Again.
Becoming a mom, you think youhave to get every single task
done and on time and clean yourhouse and have everything so
perfect.
But once you drop thatmentality, I feel like that's
when it's easier to allowyourself to have those mental
health moments yeah so that wasa big learning experience for me
(02:57):
, but putting that, making thatimportant, has changed a lot for
me.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
The same parents mental health matters?
It does, for sure.
I guess this question kind ofties a little bit into that.
But what is your self-careroutine?
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Self-care routine.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
If you have one.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
I don't know if I have, I wouldn't say routine.
I'm really bad at routines andthat's kind of crazy.
Going into our next topic,routines are important.
That's part of my learningprocess too.
Um, I would say not much of aroutine but more of a to-do list
, like I tell myself take thistime off, take this time to do
(03:35):
something for you.
Yeah, whether that's againcoloring, reading, spending time
with the kids, just one-on-oneum, that's kind of what it looks
like for me and like for ourhousehold.
Routines kind of just don'treally work as much as I want
them to.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
You know, the funny thing is I'm the opposite.
I feel like I'm like routineswork for me, and the second I
get off I'm like hold on.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
It throws everything off.
Yes, and I wish I was like that.
I tried a train, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
I think you need to do like a healthy middle.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Because, if I get to, the train gets off the track
for me.
I always use this.
This is probably a poor example, but working out like 75 hard,
I can probably do good for fivedays.
If something throws me off,then I forget the whole 75 hard.
But that's not really like Igot to figure that out.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
It's a lot of self-discipline with routines
and I think that's my strugglethere is like to you know,
mentally prepare myself likeyou're going to stick to this
routine.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
That is where I struggle.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
And then again things get thrown off.
I'm kind of like you in thatway Throws off.
I'm like, OK, well, let's justtry another route, but as long
as the to-do list checks off.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
I think that's what matters right, yeah, as long as
you got that list, it's good Ithought that okay, what advice
would you give your younger self?
Speaker 3 (04:56):
um, I would definitely tell my younger self
that everything always ends upbeing okay in the end um, I feel
like I used to over stressabout certain things or get like
instant anxiety, thinkingsomething you know is not going
the way it's supposed.
I was a kid that grew upthinking I was gonna have like a
(05:19):
perfect, like five-year plan,you know, go to college, get
married, have kids, besuccessful in whatever career I
chose, and that just wasn'trealistic.
But I wish I could tell myyounger self that that's okay,
like that five-year plan wasnever gonna be perfect, it was
never gonna, you know, just workout the way I picture, or
(05:40):
perfectly pictured it, yeah, inmy head, you know.
So I would definitely tellmyself to to lose the anxiety,
lose the stress about it andjust live life and figure it out
, because it always ends upworking out it does a lot of
times.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
You're the.
It working out is sometimesbetter than you even planned.
Right, but it's you have to letgo of the plan for you to
actually see.
Yes, you know the flowers atthe end, so I understand that
for sure.
What is your mindset whenyou're told no or the door shuts
?
Speaker 3 (06:12):
this is another thing I used to struggle with really
bad, because, um you know, noone likes being told no right no
one likes when a door slams inyour face.
Yeah um, I used to fearrejection, so bad to where, if I
got told no or a door was shut,I would not try it again I'd be
like, oh, I was rejected.
(06:33):
I'm not gonna put myself throughthat again.
I don't want this dress.
I don't want the emotions withit, um, but now I feel like a
door shut is just means anotherone's gonna to open right back
up for you.
That door shut for a reason andif you would have stuck with
that, it wasn't going to workout in your favor.
You know, um, I do believeGod's purpose is the reason why
(06:56):
those doors shut, and if itwasn't meant to be in that
moment, there was somethingbetter planned.
or maybe I took the wrong turnand went somewhere I was not
supposed to go and that doorslammed right in my face and it
was, you know, for a reason yeahso I feel like um doors being
shut just means that I have tobe bold and confident and walk
(07:19):
into whichever direction is nextand see what door that leads to
I love that mindset, though alot of times, you know, the
common answer for this wasalways the door says no.
Then I'm just gonna, you know,figure out why and still go into
it oh yeah um, and then it'slike yeah, it's like that door
(07:41):
was not meant for me, I think Itried opening it.
It could even be you're openingit too soon and you're not
ready for that, that's true.
So also rushing things um.
Just isn't, it isn't, you knowthe plan isn't the purpose.
So yeah, it's always good toredirect and just figure it out
I've kind of added that to myprayer.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Life is um for god to like for me to be on the pace
that he sees for me to be onwhere you know.
If I need to slow down thisseason, allow me to slow down.
If I need to speed up, Iactually do something instead of
right sitting on my butt, thenallow that yeah, you know to for
me to see that and to move but,I thought you you brought up a
good point, though the pacematters yeah, I feel like it's
often forgot right it's like theopportunity, you know.
(08:21):
You know when matters too, sookay.
So I saved this one for last,because I feel like this may tie
into um our topic for today,but this one is what is one
moment um in your life that hasreally shaped you or made a huge
impact um.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
So again going back to my kids, um, both okay.
So adeline, I don't know if youknew this about adeline too,
but when she was born she wasborn with the left clip foot, no
, so her foot was fully turnedin like a good 90 degrees um,
and it was stuck like that.
When I first saw her littlefoot after I had her thought it
was broken, I asked the nurse.
(09:01):
I was like, well is, can youtell me what's wrong here?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
yeah, and they're like oh my gosh, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
And I was like, well is, can you tell me what's wrong
here?
Yeah, and they're like, oh mygosh, I don't know.
And I was like what do you mean?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
you don't know, you're the nurse, like yeah if
you don't know, you got aproblem stressful first time,
mom, I was by myself at the.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
It was like overnight at that time, um and so I was
like stressing out, but I waslike it's okay, like she's not
crying, so it doesn't hurt her.
Anyways, fast forward.
We found out she had a clubfoot.
We had to start treatment rightaway.
She was like a couple weeks oldand she was put into a cast.
And so these casts it was aseries of casts they were
(09:37):
basically stretching her footinto the opposite direction.
That way it can stretch out thisAchilles tendon, where they can
go in and then snip it tostretch the achilles tendon and
correct the clubfoot.
Wow, so first time mom againdid it.
I had no idea this washappening.
(09:58):
Um went to a doctor in lubbockand the first treatment we did
like a series of four casts.
Every single week she would geta new cast and then they had to
go in and do the surgery.
The surgery it was in office noanesthesia.
(10:18):
They didn't put no anesthesiaon my little baby's ankle.
They just went in and literallysnipped the back of her
achilles and then put her backin a cast and we had to wait
like nine weeks after that toget it off maybe six weeks.
So nine weeks sounds a littlebit much.
Um, that was a crazy experienceum wow and I'll try to make that
(10:40):
one short, because it's a longthat they ended up not doing it
correctly.
Um, we ended up getting asecond opinion and that doctor
told us that it was doneincorrectly and it actually made
her foot worse oh gosh startover from the beginning, start
casting.
She had another surgery.
She was good.
Then covid hit um, and soaround that time we you, you
(11:03):
know, we took that veryseriously.
We stayed indoors.
We didn't go, cause the doctorwas in Dallas.
We did not go to Dallas, um,and in that time her foot
regressed again.
So we had to start treatmentone more time Again.
Series of casts, all thestretching.
She was about three years oldat this time.
She had a surgery.
(11:25):
They've fully fixed it.
This time they had to realignthe tendons on top of her foot.
So what they did was theysnipped the tendon that connects
to her big toe and they sharedit with the one on her pinky toe
.
So if you can imagine that, itkind of pulled over the foot so
it could be straight, um.
But that one was probably thebest experience we ever had.
(11:48):
We had a different doctor.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
He was great with her , he fixed her and since then
she's been fully healed I'mgoing to say because I
definitely see your videos ofher and her soccer, soccer now
um, she gets to do everything alittle normal little kid gets to
do.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
It's like her foot is smaller, it's cute, it's like a
whole shoe size smaller thanher right foot.
Um, but she's capable of doingeverything.
And, you know, there was apoint where I was scared, like
if this was gonna, you know, besomething for the rest of her
life that she's gonna have todeal with, and it was gonna keep
her from being she's an activelittle girl.
Yeah, it feels gonna keep herfrom being active or, you know,
(12:24):
playing with friends and.
But no, everything worked outand it was great and it a couple
shut doors but led us to a newdoctor and a new hospital.
That helped her so much and itwas a great experience.
That time, um, the one beforewas really hard to deal with,
sounds like it, um, but thatchanged a lot because I really
(12:45):
had to surrender to god and justput it all in his hands and be
like lord, I trust you, withthis she's going to be fully
healed, she's not going to havecomplications like this is not
what she meant for her life andI fully believed that.
And here she is walking in alittle.
She's a walking testimony of amiracle because you know it was
hard to deal with um, and thensame with alexander.
(13:08):
So alexander is on the autismspectrum.
Um, he's non-verbal, he.
We don't really know the extentof where he's at on the
spectrum so far, we just knowyou know that he's on it.
That's one thing is the lack ofresources here is hard.
We've been on waiting lists tosee doctors to get like an
official diagnosis, um, but weknow all we need to know at the
(13:31):
moment.
So how old is he?
He is um five.
He'll be six in july, so thathas also been you know both of
their.
So adeline with her footbrother on the spectrum, we call
alexander brother, so yeah, Isay brother a lot, that's what
we call them.
Okay, um, those two things havereally it really caused a big
(13:53):
shift in my life, because I, youknow, when you think of you're
having kids, you don't reallyexpect anything to be.
I don't want to use the wordwrong, because nothing is wrong
with them, but it kind ofdisrupts that perfect picture
you have in your head um and thechallenges that came with it at
the time were hard, butthinking back on it now I'm like
(14:13):
, wow, that really wasn't as badas it felt in the moment you
know, but those two thingsreally did cause a shift, um,
but I would say for for good,because, again, I had to
surrender it all.
I grew up in church.
I grew up.
I've never not known jesus, um,but this made me see him in a
(14:36):
different way, you know.
It made me put.
You know, you grow up by.
Oh, I love jesus, I trust injesus.
I give my all.
But, as a mom going throughthese things, I really had to.
I had to just lay it all downand just be like God these are
your babies.
At the end of the day, theseare your babies.
You're trusting me with them.
You gave them to me for areason, so I'm going to walk in
(14:57):
whatever path you need me towalk in for them.
And so if it wasn't for myfaith in Jesus, I think it would
have been way harder than whatit was.
Wow.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
So tell us about Brother, brother, yes, so give
us the insight into your life,your everyday, his life, his
life.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
He is a there's so many words I can describe
Brother.
He's just a wonderful littleboy.
He's the best little boy that Iknow, um, he is, he's nonverbal
so he doesn't speak, but hecommunicates very well Um his
day-to-day life.
He's does everything.
A normal, you know, uh,neurotypical is what they say
(15:42):
kid does.
So you know, know, he goes toschool, he has his little school
routine.
He comes home, he loves hislittle magnet tiles.
Um, he likes to watch hisfavorite movies, he likes to
cuddle with sister or with me orwith dad, and really if you
were to see alexander and notknow that he's on the spectrum,
you really wouldn't know untilmaybe you see like a stem, him
(16:05):
stimming, or he does a lot ofvocal stems.
So he likes to like repeatsounds.
Um, he likes to, he does theselittle things with his fingers
and with his hands.
Those are the things that youwould see from an outside
looking in and be like oh,that's different, you know.
But other than that that he's,he's great.
He's a great little kid, he'svery smart.
(16:26):
Um, he's very playful, he lovespeople and so he's just.
I don't know, he's perfect.
Um, something about Alexanderis like like the stimming.
So with autistic children,stimulations are different for
(16:47):
each one.
Some of them are like superhypersensitive and the stimming
is a way where they canself-regulate.
Okay, so think in this roomright now, like there's an AC
right there.
An autistic child might behearing that air conditioner 10
times more than we are, and sofor them.
(17:07):
If it's freaking them out, ifit's too loud and they're
oversensitive, they might startstimming to self-regulate to
calm themselves down.
And so in that instance I feelsomething that people don't see
is a kid trying to calmthemselves, but instead they're
(17:28):
seeing maybe a kid acting out.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Yeah, no, that does make sense.
And I think for me, being inenvironments where you see a kid
stimming or an adult stimming,I didn't understand what the
what they, the reason for theiractions or what they were doing.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
But now it's like okay, now that makes sense yeah,
um, alexander used to spin alot in little.
That was one of the first signs.
He was six months old and Inoticed him just like spinning
um in circles and that's onething that I brought to his
pediatrician.
I'm like he does.
This is that, you know,something we look for.
And of course he's six months,it's like no, he's just, you
(18:07):
know just baby behaviors Likehe's okay, and then the little,
the arms flapping started.
But he would do that when he'shappy, and so he gets excited
and he starts flapping hislittle hands and his fingers and
again told the doctor oh, no,it's okay, it's he's just, you
know, expressing emotions and itreally wasn't until he was
about a year old that theyfinally listened to me and
(18:30):
they're like oh it was actuallya different doctor.
She's like, yeah, you shouldhave started therapy like a
while back, and I was like, well, I tried, but here we are.
But yes, stimming is a form ofself-regulation.
Even, you know, lights can besuper sensitive to them, sounds,
textures of clothes Brotherdoesn't really have, he's not
(18:54):
big on textures, but some kidscan be so overwhelmed by certain
textures where it can feelpainful to them almost because
it's so uncomfortable.
There's some kids you know thatAlexander's never done this but
where they will just, you know,take off their clothes because
they don't like the feeling ofit.
One thing I've learned as a momto an autistic child is just,
(19:19):
you never know what autism is.
An invisible thing, right?
You can't see someone and belike, oh, they're definitely on
the spectrum.
Yeah, something's definitelygoing on.
You really can't tell.
So every time I'm at thegrocery store and I see a kid
having, you know, a hard time,my first thing isn't to think,
oh, they're just terrible,terrible tubes, or that poor mom
(19:42):
dealing with the terriblebehavior or something.
Instead it's like oh well, youdon't, maybe it's too noisy in
here for them, or maybe there'stoo many people around, or maybe
they can hear that cartsqueaking like times 10.
Yeah, you know.
And so it really gives you adifferent perspective on how to
see, um, not only children, butthe parents too, because at one
(20:06):
point it was hard for us to goout in public.
One, we didn't like to stressout, alexander, because it is
stressful for them.
Two, you don't like when peoplelook at you and they're like oh
, that kid is bad.
No, it's like your kid's not bad.
He's just having a hard timeand as a parent, you do all you
can to help.
You know, bring them back downand get them self-regulated, but
(20:30):
they're at the same time.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
There's only so much you can do yeah so wow is I'm
thinking, even with this, what?
Probably 10-15 minutes.
I'm like whoa, I just you startto see things and I'm sure
there's people listening.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
They're like, oh, I didn't, even, I didn't think of
that yeah there's a lot, there'sa lot, I feel like people don't
think about.
Um, even so, even when we firstheard the words like alexander,
you know, is on the spectrum,he's autistic, and then you
think so my instant thought waslike how am I going to get him
(21:08):
to fit into this world, this youknow everyday life of, you know
the people and what's it calledlike social norms?
Um, and instead my, my thinkingon it has shifted from how can
I get him to fit in to how can Iget the world to be, or the
(21:30):
environment to be, moreaccepting of him.
It's he doesn't need to befixed, but we can.
If people had more knowledge oryou know, even just the
slightest little bit of an ideaof what it's like to have a kid
with autism, it would justchange so much you know.
And so that really has been abig shift for me.
(21:53):
It's not, I don't need to fixAlexander to fit in.
We just need to figure out howto fix those around us, you know
, to accommodate him better.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Yeah.
So it makes sense, yeah, I meanseriously.
I'm just sitting here and I'mlike, yeah, because I've seen,
you know, kids in their grocerystores having temper tantrums
and I didn't pay attention tosee you know if they were um
steaming or what was actuallygoing on.
You automatically just see aterrible kid and you're like
dude, get it together, fix yourbehavior.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
But yeah, you know that mom is not doing anything
to try to calm their kid down.
And it's hard, it really is umsome things alexander likes.
He likes like um, tight hugs orlike pressure.
So one thing we learned inoccupational therapy is like if
he's having a meltdown and ifyou're somewhere in public, to
just, from head to toe, juststart applying pressure.
(22:47):
So what I would do is I got tostart at his head and just give
like light squeezes, go down tohis shoulders, squeeze arms and
you will just see.
If you watch lilo and stitch,okay, you know the part where
stitch is like building a cityand then he goes and wrecks it
yeah okay that.
Imagine that I always picturethat as alexander when he's
having a meltdown, just wreckingthe, and then you see lilo and
(23:08):
she puts a blanket over him andhe just lays down that's
literally alexander, and how tocalm like a meltdown, that's
what it feels like, and so Ijust do, like pressure on his
arms, on his legs, and heliterally will just calm down.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Can anyone do that to him, or is it just you?
Speaker 3 (23:30):
So Alexander isn't.
He's not picky on touch oranything.
There are kids who don't liketo be touched Alexander.
But I feel like I didn't givehim a choice Because since he's
a baby, I've been a smotheringmom.
I grab him and I don't give hima choice.
He hugs me, he gives me kisses,I get to squeeze him all I want
, and so he really doesn't mindthe touch and that's something
(23:54):
too.
So when your kid is on thespectrum and so he's been in
school since he was three theschool system is actually really
good at asking these questionsto know how to accommodate to
your child, specifically Becausenot every autistic kid is the
same Everyone, I would say.
They're all different, theyhave similarities, but some like
(24:17):
things, some don't like things.
Alexander doesn't mind beingtouched, but there's some kids
who, if you're not my mom,you're not going to touch me,
and I make it known Um,alexander's also a runner.
He sees an open backyard andhe's running.
He likes to go from like fenceto house, Like if we're in our
backyard, fence to house, fenceto house, um, but at school they
(24:39):
say the same thing He'll run tothe fence and then run back.
But so those are questions thatthey ask Like does your child
and they?
They know the general questions.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Does your?
Speaker 3 (24:47):
child like to run?
Yes, so they put an extra buddywith them to make sure you know
he doesn't get away, or anextra teacher or something like
that.
That way, eyes are on himbecause he's fast too.
He made me sprint through MusicCity Mall one time because we
were playing in the jungle gymand he just took off running and
I had to run after him and ofcourse he doesn't mean it.
(25:09):
He's always giggling andlaughing.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
He's having the time of his life.
I was going to say having thetime of his life.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
Having the best time, and there's nothing better than
seeing Hair blowing in the wind, yeah, literally.
Have you seen his hair?
It's long and it kind of likebounces when he runs.
It's so cute, but in the momentI'm like bro, you just made me
sprint and I haven't done thatin forever.
Yeah, but stuff like that.
Like his teachers have been sogreat.
You know asking all thequestions what foods do, because
(25:36):
again, that's another thingvery picky, very, very picky
eater.
He does not like to eat a lotof things really.
yes, um, his favorite things arelike fruit, which thankful,
chicken, thankful, and he likesbreads, but so if the chicken is
not crispy, he won't eat it I'mnot mad.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Yeah, it has to be some crispy chicken.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
Um, if he doesn't like fruit, that's like wet, so
like bananas are.
No he don't, doesn't likebananas, um so like a apple he
loves apples I think what elseis like he?
Loves grapes but, if they're,if they get too mushy, those
stay in the bag he won't takeout.
He'll just eat the crispy ones.
Breads he loves breads.
(26:20):
He'll walk around Like ifthere's barbecue and we're
eating hot dogs, he'll just havethe hot dog bun.
And that's it.
So stuff like that.
His teachers they actually hisclass actually won a grant a few
years ago.
So they have a full kitchen inhis classroom, oh shoot, years
ago.
So they have a full kitchen inhis classroom, oh shoot.
And so we get to just sendingredients and his teachers
will make him his food, and that, as a mom, is comforting
(26:41):
because I know my kid's gonnaeat what he wants, even though
he's picky.
Not what he wants, what he likes, um, and he's not, you know,
starving at school because allthey have is cafeteria food or
something.
So I feel like that kind ofwent off a little bit too.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
But, um, no, this is all like very important
information, I feel like for uswho are not exposed or don't
really know anything about um,the autism, autistic, okay, like
that world.
By the way, I did not mentionearlier.
So april is national, I did notmention it earlier.
(27:20):
So April is national autismmonth, which is yes, which is
the reason why, um, I have Lexihere because we're friends in
real life, but also on socialmedia.
I see her posting a lot yeah,and I was like this is actually
interesting and I would love tohave you come on, um, and just
educate us all.
Educate for more.
So for myself as well.
I mean as well, um, just toknow.
But I was going somewhere withthat, but I have no clue where
(27:41):
that where was.
Just.
Yeah, I was like I don't know.
So how did you?
What is?
There's two things I thoughtabout go with the first one.
So I know he's mentioned thathe was non-verbal.
Is that in this?
Does he do any sign language orno?
Speaker 3 (27:53):
he did not take to sign language we do try um, he
will sign like more.
He'll sign, please, when hewants to oh it's at this point.
I don't know if it's becauseit's me and he knows I
understand him uh-huh where hewon't do it.
I'm not.
I know at school hecommunicates a little
differently.
Um, at school he actually haslike an ipad where they prompt
(28:15):
words oh and so at our lastmeeting they actually said he's
doing really good with that, andso I kind of want to get one
for us too.
Right now we have like a gridon the fridge with prompts and
he'll point to them, but for themost part, he I just understand
him, yeah.
One time I have a cousin whotold me she she's like you're
(28:36):
probably one of the only peoplethat understand, understands his
language, and I was like, wow,you're right, because it really
is.
You know me, him, dad, we, weunderstand him, yeah.
Um.
However, I can see how it wouldbe hard for others to understand
him.
He loves to guide people, so hewas here.
Of course he's very comfortablewith people.
(28:56):
Uh-huh, he would, and he wanted.
Course he's very comfortablewith people.
Oh, he would, and he wantedsomething.
He would go grab your hand andhe'll walk you all the way over
and then he'll make your handpoint to it oh if he has my hand
and he wants water, he'llliterally point my hand to the
water.
But we do a lot of very smart,yeah he is very smart he lets
you know.
He, he's non-verbal, but he cancommunicate, yeah, and he will
(29:20):
make sure you understand whathe's asking for.
Um, what are they called likecues?
So he'll, he'll give us the cueand we'll verbally say it,
because eventually he will endup, yes, yes he will um he has
said a few things.
I think when he turned four iswhen he started saying some
words.
However, they don't alwaysstick all the time.
(29:42):
Sometimes it'll just be for aperiod of time and then they'll
go away.
Um, but we do know he can saythem, he is able.
He did say I love you for thefirst time a couple months ago,
so clear, so perfect, and hesaid it over and over, maybe
like 10 times.
I caught a little bit on video,but he has not said it since
(30:02):
then.
Okay, um, he, he has said I loveyou, but not as clear as he did
it that first time.
Yeah, now it kind of soundslike I wub, wub, wub you, and
that's enough for me because,you know, at one point I was
like I don't know if I'll everhear his voice, but he does show
me.
You know, every once in a whilehe'll say it.
(30:25):
Um, and to me I take that as asign is I don't know if he'll
always be non-verbal.
If he is, then he is, if he'snot, then he's not.
But we've learned and we'readapting to how he communicates
and that's what he really needsfrom us to just figure out what
it is and how, how he's able tocommunicate with us.
And you know we can, we canlive with that.
(30:47):
That's perfectly fine wow.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
So how is big sister adapting?
Speaker 3 (30:53):
oh, she's the best big sister and I think everyone
that experiences them togethersays the same thing um, she is.
When I'm not there, she's, youknow, beside him and helping.
She wants, and they're the samesize, but this girl wants to
carry him everywhere.
I'm like adeline, he's a bigboy, you can let him walk, yeah,
(31:15):
um, but she'll talk him.
She understands him too.
So if we're around friends, andyou know all the littles are
together, she will stick by hisside and make sure he's okay.
She can tell when he wants, youknow, a snack or water or
something, and she'll eithercome get us or she'll let them
know.
She's also his voice and she'shis little protector.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
So she also lets people know my brother's
autistic and she'll say it tooand you know she helps her
friends understand.
That was kind of hard at onepoint because they'd ask her
like, well, why doesn't yourbrother talk or why doesn't your
brother want to play with us?
And she'll explain it.
And for a six-year-old sheexplains it very well, wow.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
So I thought that's going to be something that um
will allow her to be able to.
I guess you can just say,relate to people a lot better.
Yeah, because she's she'shaving to to show you know this
compassion, um, and I think it'sgoing to definitely probably
that's such a young age, yeah um, it's already been spoken over
(32:16):
her life a few times that she'sgoing to be an advocate for, not
only alexander, but for kidswith special needs in general
and I love that for her I cantotally see it, and if that's
what god has planned for her, Ilove it wow it's exciting wow
your mental strongness.
I just the from listening to you.
(32:37):
I like our mental toughness iswhat I'm supposed to say, I was
like that did not come out right.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Mental strongness, whatever it is you figured it
out.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
listening, anyway, I'm like wow, to go from your
daughter and her journey toswitch over to now your son, and
having to figure out how tofigure that out while still
parenting, by the way, yeah, soas long as you have one, so you
have.
You're having, you know toadjust to make sure that he's
(33:06):
comfortable, but then alsoparent the way your daughter
needs to be.
Parent right, so you're almostI mean obviously any, any parent
has parenting kids twodifferent ways, but I feel like
yours are that's yeah, and youknow, sometimes I don't realize
it until it's brought to myattention in that way, because I
guess we've just adapted to itso well and I don't really
(33:27):
notice.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
I don't really notice it, but I do appreciate it when
it's brought up to me, becauseI'm not thinking of that you
know and I appreciate that.
That means a lot to me.
I always tell people the bestcompliment I've ever received is
how well I'm doing as a mother.
That's the one that I take toheart, you know, and, um, they
both have helped me grow so muchto where.
(33:51):
And then again this, this allgoes back to my faith, you know,
and God knowing, I have God bymy side every single moment.
I feel like that's what helps mestay strong, because it does.
I don't want to steer anyonewrong.
It does get hard.
It does get tough.
There's times where I'm like,why, why Adeline, why Alexander?
(34:15):
You know both of them havestruggles in different ways and
I'm like, why, why them?
You know, Um, but at the end ofthe day, I know God has a plan
for both of them, for Adelineand for Alexander.
Whatever that may be, there's aperfect plan in place, and if
it was, you know, meant to bethis way, for a picture that we
(34:36):
can't see just yet, then we'llsee it when it comes.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
And.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
I just have to trust that God, you know, has our back
the whole way through it.
It comes, wow, and I just haveto trust that god, you know, has
our back the whole way throughit and I truly, truly, truly
believe.
That is why I'm able to staymentally tough, because you know
, without if with him, nothingyou know nothing is going to
fail yeah we'll be okay, yeah,but jeez can you imagine I'm
like for you, your um, yourmental health and self-care they
(35:06):
are important.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
Yeah, so you know, make sure now, I know this I
definitely will be just droppingin and say hey, make sure you
take care of yourself.
I would appreciate because,your.
Your little ones need you.
Even when they become big ones,they're still gonna need you.
They are.
I say that because I still needmy mom to this day.
So, yeah, you gotta make sureyou take care of yourself yeah,
because you're getting pulled um, and you're having to grow
(35:29):
because, I mean, let's even talkabout that process of having to
, you know, learn how to parent.
Um, you know, brother, and,like I said, you have your
daughter's one way, he's anotherway, but at the same same time
you're still mom, right.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
I will say with Alexander doing the early
intervention therapy.
I would say that helped a lotBecause and shout out to Permia
Care, I was just telling youabout them yeah, they helped us
so much in the beginning Because, again, we had no idea what we
were doing.
We had, I had no idea whatautism spectrum really was and
(36:09):
how it affected not only thekids but the parents and the
siblings.
And, um, you know, doing thetherapies, we did speech therapy
, we did occupational therapy,we did play therapy and, we did
all the therapies.
And they really were a goodresource for me.
They not only helped him, butthey helped me Because, like we
(36:30):
were talking earlier, at the endof the day I'm the one that's
going to be doing it for therest of our life.
I can't rely on thesetherapists to come in and help
him.
So they really taught me how tonavigate through it.
And so they really taught mehow to navigate through it.
(36:52):
They taught me all the tips andtricks, all the signs like how
to look out for when he'soverstimulated and that's
causing a tantrum versusemotions, like if he's just
upset or you know somethingthrew him off or sleep
regressions were really reallyhard.
Those are still hard.
Just earlier this week, he didnot sleep all night long, really
all night long.
I think he went to bed at likesix in the morning.
Um, needless to say, I kept himhome from school that next day
because he didn't sleep at alland that's, that's a normal
(37:15):
thing and that's a normal thingthat people don't really talk
about.
yeah, um, and really I don'tknow why it happens, but there's
just I want to say it happensat least once a month where he
will pull an all-nighter andjust be up and he'll be the
happiest, giggliest, ready toplay, and I'm just laying there
like please go to bed go tosleep.
(37:37):
But it just, you know, that'ssomething we have to learn to
navigate with and therapy andstuff.
That really helped.
That really helped put my mindinto trying to figure out what's
going to help him versus tryingto figure out on myself, by
myself and being all over theplace yeah, wow resources are
(37:58):
important, and I feel likethat's one thing that we have
some of in the area, but not alot of, or maybe?
Speaker 2 (38:07):
not enough of.
I feel like probably not enough.
Yeah, I don't think even.
I think just medically ingeneral, if you have anything
abnormal, you're probably eitherhaving to go to lubbock, dallas
or houston yeah which does suckwe went to lubbock.
Speaker 3 (38:21):
Well, for adeline.
We went to lubbock first andthen ended up in dallas for
alexander.
We're on waiting lists indallas and in san antonio oh,
she was like a whole state thing.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Yes, there's.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
There was one doctor in west texas um in lubbock, but
she's no longer with us, ohyeah oh okay, um, which was
crazy, it was again around covid.
Um, she's the only doctor there, because a regular pediatrician
(38:51):
can't diagnose autism disorder.
They have to be um, like a neurodoctor they can't, they can't,
just, you know, they have to getlike a psychiatric evaluation
by a neuro physician, and sothat's why we have to go to
these big cities where there'stons of neuro physicians there's
none really here, especiallyfor pediatrics.
(39:12):
Um.
So there was one in lubbockthat we were on a waiting list
for, and it was again aroundcovid and sadly she had got
covid right about the time wewere about to go see her, and so
since then we've been onwaiting lists for this whole
time.
Wow.
But luckily our school district, they, um, they do their own
(39:33):
evaluation because, againPermacare.
They helped us, they set us up,they got us the appointments.
We went to the eval and theschool district needs an
evaluation to get them into,like the special education
department.
So they brought a doctor down.
We went and had our evaluationat the administration building
and their system is a littledifferent because they want your
(39:55):
kid to meet the standard to getthe help Right.
So they said this evaluation isnowhere near what an actual you
know, for an official diagnosiswould be.
It was kind of an easier way toget in that way he doesn't miss
out on the help while waitingfor the actual right.
I think that makes some senseyeah, so that was um again when
(40:18):
he turned three, becausepedicare will help you until
you're three years old and thenafter that you do private
therapy or school, and so wewent the school route, because
he does still get therapyservices in class, so he gets
speech therapy and umoccupational therapy at school I
wonder okay, I have, I actuallyhave a one, I think she's an
(40:40):
occupational therapist, mycousin.
Oh cool, she's actually for theschool district oh nice, maybe
she may be alexander is,alexander goes to cameron, so I
have to ask her.
That's one of the schools shegoes to I know she's always
talking about someone having tovisit a school, but I never
asked her she used to go tolamar and I loved I loved lamar
so much um the teachers therewere so great.
(41:01):
And again there they hadoccupational speech.
I don't know if he did physicaltherapy there, I don't think he
did.
But that school I wish theywould just be like a special
needs school and a preschool.
You know, all in one,alexander's class is actually um
, all grades are in there andI'm not sure how does that work.
Yeah, he's the onlykindergartner in his class and I
(41:24):
just learned that barelybecause I saw on this little
list they have, but he's akindergartner.
I think they have two firstgraders and the rest are like
third and fourth graders andcrazy, but they're all boys
except for one.
There's one girl in his class.
There's 11 kids total.
Wow, so I don't know.
Kids total, wow, so I don'tknow.
(41:44):
I guess that's just how it is.
Once they, you know, inpreschool it was just his age
group, um, in a class, but sincehe's in elementary school now
they're just all together.
But he has tons of teachers.
So I want to say the ratio islike two to one, oh, two
students to one teacher.
Yeah, so he's getting all thecare, all the you know help,
know help that he needs and Ilove that His teachers have been
(42:04):
so great with him.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
Okay, I was like when you said that, I was like no,
what's that ratio?
Because my brain was likethat's not.
But okay, two to one is not.
That makes sense for sure.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
They, you know, they set goals for him every school
year and they do things that are, you know, not crazy, where
it's like, oh, he needs to learnhow to write his name in
cursive or you know somethingnot achievable.
So far, I think he's met everygoal that they set for him.
He's been doing really, reallygood.
So it's exciting.
(42:35):
It's exciting to see that'sanother thing I was going to
talk about you know themilestones that we see our kids.
Do you know crawling andwalking and saying mama the
first time?
And those seem so differentwhen your kid is on the spectrum
because you don't really knowwhen you're going to get to that
milestone.
You know, I feel likemilestones are like, okay,
(42:57):
between ages of three months andsix months they're going to
start, you know, babbling babytalk.
And from six months to a yearthey're gonna start crawling and
it was way off for us withalexander.
He didn't start crawling tillhe was about 13 months old, a
little after a year, and then hestarted walking at 14 months.
So it was just you never knewwhat, what you're gonna get,
(43:18):
like the talking that happened.
He was four when he said hisfirst word um.
So that makes you reallyappreciate those milestones in a
different way, because they'renot expected.
You know, as a as adeline hit,you know milestones, yeah, on
the dot almost, but it makes yousee it as I.
(43:39):
I feel like it's a biggercelebration because it's like,
wow it.
It took a while, but we're hereand we did it.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
He's keeping on your toes.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
Yeah, he really is.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
Yeah, you never know what you're going to get.
That is sweet, wow.
This is first of all.
I want to say thank you forcoming on and giving us the
insight into your world, intobrother's world, and to educate
us all, and hopefully I wouldsay you guys took something from
(44:08):
what she said.
Oh, one thing I do want tobring up.
What resources do we have sosomeone listening to this that
has a little one that's eitheron the spectrum or maybe is
diagnosed with something else,what resources do we have that
you know of?
Speaker 3 (44:25):
For sure, permeate care, especially if your child
is under the age of three yearsold.
Early intervention is alwaysthe best way to go because
you'll start learning right away, as they're babies.
I feel like that's what helpedwith Alexander.
He was a little baby and headopted really well to therapy.
It took a little bit, it took alittle bit of consistency, and
he adopted really well totherapy.
It took a little bit, it took alittle bit of consistency, um,
(44:46):
especially him getting used todifferent faces and the teaching
and you know, therapy is notall you know sunshine and
rainbows.
It really gets them out oftheir comfort zone.
So there is a little discomfortwith it, but it all works out
and it's great and every singleperson I ever came across with
PermiaCare was wonderful, notonly with Brother but with us as
(45:08):
parents and they would check inon us and support us and it was
really really, really goodprogram to be in.
Other than that, the SHAREprogram is a great resource for
not only parents with kids onthe spectrum, but you know any
kind of special needs is theyhelp.
(45:28):
They have parent support groups, they have sibling support
groups.
You know because sometimes asibling kind of feels left out.
You know, when you have a kidwith special needs it looks like
all your attention goes to them.
And if they have a sibling.
It could seem like, you know,maybe mom and dad are just care
about.
You know my brother, my sisterand they need extra help so they
(45:49):
have like siblings day outwhere they'll go and do
activities with the othersibling um you know to make them
feel, yeah, to make them feelloved and cared for.
They have they like take care ofyour kids too, so parents can
have a parents night out.
They have a care of your kidstoo, so parents can have a
parent's night out.
They have a bunch of stuff therodeo they always have a free
sensory night for the rodeo.
The fair they always have asensory night for the fair.
(46:12):
But they're also starting newthings like sensory time at I
don't know if Cher is the onethat does this, but sensory time
like at the theater.
Synergy.
I would say, just get pluggedinto one of those groups and
they always keep you updatedwhat's going on, not only within
their organization but withinthe community.
Um like sensory free, you know,like I said, movie times or I've
(46:33):
seen the trampoline park.
Do that um the rodeo, the fair.
They really keep you plugged inwith stuff like that well,
that's good.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
It's good to also know that you have a community
that's um willing to thinkoutside the box yeah and not
leave anyone behind there'sactually the share um.
Speaker 3 (46:49):
They're having a share walk on the 26th of this
month and so that's like aresource fair.
Um, we've done it the last fewyears.
Uh, we're just gonna be guests.
This year we didn't make a team, but it's very helpful.
There's so much that there thecommunity offers that we don't
know of you know, until you kindof get plugged into stuff like
that, but that I would say, ifyou have anyone in your family
(47:13):
that's on the spectrum specialneeds, that share walk is a
great.
There's like booths everywherewith great resources.
Therapy there's like musictherapy there there's a little.
Speaker 2 (47:24):
That sounds interesting.
Speaker 3 (47:25):
Alexander did music therapy for a little bit at
Lamar.
It's actually because he lovesmusic and pretty much what it is
.
They like play with instruments.
Some kids, you know, find itsoothing for stuff like that.
Alexander is a repetitive type,so he likes repetitive sounds,
so like the drumming he stufflike that.
Alexander is a repetitive type,so he likes repetitive sounds,
so like the drumming he doeslike that.
(47:46):
Um, I'm not really sure whatelse they did, but I know he did
enjoy music therapy.
Um, I know there's like alittle ranch in midland that
does like horse therapy, notonly for kids on the spectrum
but for kids with special needs,and they'll go horseback riding
and count your girl out.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
I'm gonna undo it, but I'm definitely not going, so
that's not for me.
No, I don't do pets politely.
Speaker 3 (48:12):
No, I should say pets , animals, none of that no um
but yeah, that was like I had noidea that existed until we saw
them at the sharewalk.
So definitely get plugged intosomething that will show you
what's, because sometimes youdon't know what's around until
you actually dig and look for itum, and sadly, sometimes that's
what we have to do is dig andlook.
(48:33):
But that resource fair is agreat way to get plugged in.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
Yeah, gosh, I would just say start somewhere, and um
, this is for anyone yeah justyou're.
Just, you're not alone.
You don't have to do life alone, right, um?
So just reach out to someone,um, and get plugged in community
matters.
Everyone needs a village,whether you're an adult or, um,
(48:57):
you're a kid.
Yep, that's one thing I had tolearn.
I would definitely sit at myhouse by myself.
I was like, look, everyone needsa village yeah, definitely well
, is there anything else thatyou want to share with us, that
we have not touched on, um thatyou want to bring up?
Speaker 3 (49:12):
um, I would just say, as encouragement for parents
you know that are on the samewalk, like what you just said,
to find a village to get pluggedinto I would say that you are
chosen for this.
God has a plan for you, and notonly for you, but for your
child.
I know it seems like sometimeswe can't see past.
(49:33):
you know, today but, there's aperfect plan for all of us and
you're equipped, you can do it.
You're not alone.
God is with you throughout itall.
Um, not only that, there's acommunity of parents.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
you know that you can find and I'd love to befriend
anybody, because you know it'shard to find people who relate
right I would say that findsomeone who can relate, that you
can talk to, um thatunderstands what you're going
through and you know you can doit, it's it's achievable, we can
get through it, we can learn,we can grow, we can adapt and we
(50:09):
can advocate and be a voice forour kids yeah, and I was
listening to you now and I'mgoing back to what you said
earlier, when you were, you know, I think at first you said you
were like you know why me, whymy kids, and I'm like, well, it
sounds like I'm sure you figuredit out out since then, but it
sounds like you were chosen I'mjust going to say it and I feel
(50:29):
like it's chosen based upon you.
Have your faith, like you said,that you know that's what keeps
you, you know, going andmentally strong, and I'm like,
oh, so that's why you know Godgifted them to you is because he
knows he put them in handswhere you know you will still
look to him to guide you throughhow to raise them.
Speaker 3 (50:48):
Right.
Thank you for that.
Because, only now I feel likeI'm fully, I'm starting to walk
in the purpose God has plannedfor me.
And if it's this, if it's beinga voice and an advocate for not
only these children but forparents, because I think parents
need it too.
Parents need it just as much,because it's tough and it's you
(51:11):
know, it's hard getting thestares and the whispers and it's
.
It's noticeable.
You know people make itnoticeable and it's hard as a
parent almost makes you want tolike curl up and just stay
inside your house, but that'snot how any of us should live.
I think our kids deserve to seethe world, they deserve a place
in the world and they deservethe love that you know, all of
us get to have.
(51:32):
So I fully feel like God ispreparing me for something more,
you know, just to be anadvocate for families in general
, and I'm ready Lately.
My prayer has been.
Speaker 2 (51:48):
God, I'm ready for this.
Speaker 3 (51:49):
If this is where you need me to be, I'm ready for it.
Speaker 1 (51:53):
Let's do it.
Speaker 3 (51:54):
Because I think I really have a passion for not
only the children, but for theparents too.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
Well, kudos to you, and I definitely will be.
You're on my have.
Like certain people like that.
I just drop in and say, hey,you know how's it going.
Do you need anything?
usually, if I need anything islike a coffee or dinner, like oh
I do um because I realize a lotof times I think we always
think help has to be somethingdrastic, but sometimes just the
(52:24):
presence or the fact that, likeoh shoot, you know she thought
of me or you know she's rocking,yeah, like the little little
things, should I say, matter um,and I'm big on little things,
yeah I think it's.
Those are the simple thingsthat actually like make the make
the difference.
Right you know, versus the biggrand gesture that is like what?
(52:46):
Yeah, where you'd be.
Like what was that?
Yeah, I get you.
That's just me.
Okay.
One last question before we'redone what do you stand for?
Speaker 3 (52:56):
I stand for inclusivity.
I feel like everyone deserves tobe included, but I also stand
for love.
I feel like that's what we aretruly called to do is to love
each other, love everyone.
I think everyone deserves love.
Everyone deserves to be loved,and we need to be better at
(53:17):
giving love and showing love toall around us.
It's just that's really thething god wants from us is to
love each other and be togetherand stand together and help one
another, and that's truly what Istand for all right, it's funny
and I talked about the othernight.
Speaker 2 (53:37):
Um, you know, my bible always says like you know,
love your neighbor likeyourself, and I'm like.
Well, I think half the battlethat we have as the world is we
don't take the time to loveourselves yeah, that's a big
part of it how are we gonna loveour?
Speaker 3 (53:51):
neighbor if we can't live ourselves yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (53:54):
So now we're gonna leave y'all with to love the
neighbor.
Like lexi just said, you gottalove yourself so once you love
yourself, yes, like findsomething you love.
Love rather it be the coloringbook, which is a side note I
adult.
Speaker 3 (54:10):
Coloring books give me anxiety oh no, my idea a
little like the bold picturecoloring books, like the big
pictures yeah, because I pulledup, I was like these little dots
, like I don't, like.
This is actually giving me realI think they lied when they
said those are adult bro, Istill live in the trash.
Speaker 2 (54:25):
Yeah, I go.
Yeah, I'm like, if it's not thebig ones or something, that's
like huge for a fifth grader orsomething, or a five-year-old I
ain't coloring it, but anyway,sorry, I just get that off my
chest, uh, but find some way tolove yourself.
Yes, and this is, maybe you'rerealizing that you haven't been
(54:46):
loving yourself.
Hey, let this message be astart start doing something you
love you know.
Find goals for yourself, writethem down, start achieving them,
whatever it is.
Just find somewhere to loveyourself, that way you can love
your neighbor because, like wesaid, you can't do one without
the other.
So that's just that.
But thank you again.
(55:08):
Thank you.
This is like this is thoroughly.
I've thoroughly enjoyed this.
Like I'm like okay, so now,especially like with me being
out in the community and I seelittle ones and I'm around
little ones, um, and I onceworked in um a church in the
back with three-year-olds and Iwill never forget experience I
(55:29):
had and I'm not sure I actuallyI think that kid might have been
on the spectrum, yeah, but justbefore this conversation I
didn't know nothing.
I definitely didn't knownothing then and all I knew was
to either give him whatever toyhe wanted or, uh, we used to
give him a toy he wanted or like, obviously, in the back you
(55:53):
have lessons he wasn't gettingdown with the lessons, but I
would just let him be in thecorner as long as he was in the
room.
He wasn't in the bathroom,because the bathroom was right
there.
Um, I kind of let him be, yeahand then sometimes that's all it
.
Speaker 3 (56:07):
Sometimes that's all they want is like they need
their space yeah, and whatevermakes them happy and then
they'll be okay.
Yeah, and I was definitely alearning.
Speaker 2 (56:15):
No, I didn't process, I definitely was, and I
remember to give him the yeah,because that church they had the
worship service um and it was.
It was loud yeah because allthe kids like loud, they'd be
jumping and having a good timeand it would like definitely
yeah, now you'll be able to seethose little cues that where
it's like, okay, maybe it's nota tantrum, but they're
(56:35):
overstimulated.
Yeah now, looking at that, I'mlike that's definitely what that
was yes I think after like thesecond and third thing, I
realized okay, let me get someheadphones.
So, like, as soon as we gotover there, I was like hey, give
me those.
Speaker 3 (56:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (56:48):
Because he used to take off.
Yeah, and I would be like bruh,I got you and all these other
kids and I can't have yourunning off.
So we're going to get you theseheadphones, first, usually
headphones, and then headphones,and then um, at that time I had
crocs to have the charms inthem, so he would have the
headphones on and he would playwith my charms, my crop charms,
and I would let him do it,because he would sit there and
(57:10):
then once they were done, yeah,and I kind of just picked him up
and then we went back to class,but I kind of I learned, like
you said, learning to adjust,yeah but it just was.
No one ever taught us anything,so that probably sucked.
Speaker 3 (57:20):
But yeah, it's definitely a learning process,
but once you know it's, it's so,it's really easy to figure out
um, and really, when it comesdown to just being over, you
know how, when you feeloverstimulated, you want to just
turn everything off.
That's how I see it.
So once I see alexander'soverstimulated, it's like, okay,
let's turn things down, let'sgo a little slower, um, and it
(57:43):
really that does make a bigdifference for them.
Speaker 2 (57:45):
So because them headphones definitely worked,
and so did my charms on my crocsand I, I think at one point I
popped one off.
Did I care?
Not at all.
I was like hey, whatever itworks for you, because me and
you, that's all we got right now.
So we just, we just thugged itout.
So that is that for sure.
Well, thank you guys forlistening.
(58:05):
Thank you, lexi again forcoming on.
And remember, practice someself-love and some self-care
today and peace out until nexttime.
Speaker 1 (58:15):
Thank you for listening to another episode of
Standing in your Truth withYanni and if no one told you
today, you are loved, you arebeautiful, you are needed and
you matter.
Be sure to follow on Facebookat Standing In your Truth
Podcast with Yanni.
Also on Instagram Talks WithYanni.
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