May 9, 2025 • 54 mins
When Savannah Woodward met her firefighter husband nine years ago, she never imagined how deeply his profession would shape their family life. From navigating 48-hour shifts to explaining daddy's absence to their curious 4-year-old son, the challenges of a first responder family require constant adaptation and unwavering faith.
Savannah's journey took an unexpected turn when they relocated to West Texas with their one-year-old son. "I was so against moving here," she admits, fearing the loss of her entire support system. Yet this leap into the unknown transformed their lives completely. "I attribute one of our greatest successes as a family to moving out here," she shares, highlighting how the community's entrepreneurial spirit and accessibility created opportunities they never would have found in their hometown.
Throughout our conversation, Savannah candidly discusses her struggle with postpartum depression, the resentment she initially felt toward her husband's absences, and the evolution of her priorities from career advancement to finding balance. "I'm motivated by making sure I'm not in burnout constantly anymore," she explains, reflecting on her journey toward intentional self-care and setting boundaries between work and home life.
Perhaps most powerful is Savannah's perspective on the values her son gains from being raised in a first responder family. From compassion and selflessness to gratitude and consideration for others, these lessons provide a silver lining to the missed birthdays and rearranged holidays. "He admires Justin so much," she says of her son's relationship with his father, "and Justin is teaching him incredible values he wouldn't have gotten if he wasn't in a first responder family."
For anyone navigating the complexities of parenthood while supporting a partner with demanding responsibilities, Savannah offers a simple yet profound message: "Give grace. We're all just trying to figure it out." Her story reminds us that behind every hero in uniform stands a family making countless sacrifices, finding strength through faith, and building their village wherever life takes them.
Standing In Your Truth Podcast with Yanni Thomas
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello everyone, welcome to Standing In your
Truth podcast with your host,yanni.
On this podcast you'll hearYanni, family and friends having
open-ended discussions onanything from faith, finances,
relationships and how to staymotivated during life's trying
times.
Make sure to follow on allsocial media platforms.
(00:23):
The social media link is in thebio.
Sit back and get ready to enjoy.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of
Standing your Truth Podcast.
I am your host, yanni.
How's it going?
Happy May, I think I said thatlast episode, but whatever,
school's almost out.
I know for me, technically,this is my last day of my spring
semester.
I would be excited, but I'malso taking a May semester in
(00:50):
summer courses, so my studiesbegin, but thankfully I'm past
both classes with, hopefully, ahigh grade.
I'm saying that as the gradesnot final, but I'm speaking into
existence.
Two A's is what I want, butanyway, we are continuing our
series talking about motherhoodand the journey that these
different women that I invite onhave.
(01:12):
So I'm going to let my guestintroduce herself.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Hello, I'm Savannah Woodward.
Y'all and I have known eachother for going on about three
years now.
It doesn't seem like it, but asI look at colin your wallet
like oh yeah, yeah sure it'skind of flown by, but also it
was like yesterday too.
So I, um am the director ofspecial events at the shepherd
(01:38):
leadership institute, which is adepartment at the university of
texas permian basin whaty'all's thing you know everybody
has like a falcons up, oh thereit is falcons up.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Okay, I almost said guns up.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
That's the wrong thing sorry, texas day, yeah, my
bad, all right.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Well, thank you for coming on.
Um, I know your story, so Ifeel like there's definitely
going to be um a group of womenthat can relate to your journey.
But we'll get there.
First, let's start with ourhouse questions.
Allow all of us to get to knowyou a little bit better.
So what motivates you?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
That's a great question.
I feel like I'm in kind of atransitional period right now
because I could right off thebat tell you, up to this point,
I was really motivated by, like,professional development and
career development, and so itwas.
You know, how do I get thedegree to get the job and how
can I really excel at the joband do all the professional
(02:38):
development to get?
You know, keep climbing thatladder, and that's really what
success was framed like for me.
And now, being a mom and youknow all the things I'm really
happy with where I'm at in mycareer, but that ideology and
you know, train of thought isreally shifting.
(02:59):
So really what motivates me nowis making sure that I'm taking
care of myself, I'm not inburnout constantly anymore, that
I have a good work-life balancenow and that I can prioritize
things that I care about so thatI can be the best for my
husband but also for my son Wow,it's so funny, as you're saying
(03:22):
that, about you know stayingaway from burnout and making
sure that you're the best foreveryone around you.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
We had a conversation about two weeks ago maybe how
we've both kind of taken a stepback and are more selfish with
our time.
And just I just say selfish,maybe just more intentional.
Well, leaning into it, right.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
And being OK with it.
I think before it was like if Iwasn't going going, going and
had every second of my daybooked, it was like, oh, you're
just being lazy, like that'swasted time, and reframing the
thought behind it and thinking,no, this is not wasted time,
this is needed time and it'sokay to take a step back because
that's actually helping me morethan it's hurting.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
I've had to realize naps are okay.
Uh, love a nap.
Yeah, about 30, 45 minutes, andI'm good to go.
Anything more than that, I'mprobably waking up with, like
what day is it?
Did I miss something?
Yeah, um.
But so how do you protect yourmental health?
Speaker 3 (04:22):
I think you know motivation, the what we said
really lends itself well to thatalso kind of overlaps.
I have really had to learn andidentify what actually fills me,
and I I heard these wise wordsfrom someone that I work with
last year and it's stuck with me.
I work with last year and it'sstuck with me.
(04:43):
There's a difference betweensomething that fills you and
something that you enjoy.
So things that you enjoy canalso fill you, but there are
things that you enjoy that don'tfill you.
So those people who go onvacation and need a vacation
from the vacation afterward,that's not actually filling,
even if it is enjoyable.
(05:03):
So for me word that's notactually filling, even if it is
enjoyable.
So for me it's.
What do I need to do to reallybe able to separate and, to you
know, fill myself and protect mypeace?
Um, even sometimes if I'm like,oh, I don't need to do this, I
need, I don't want to go homeand just be lazy, or I don't
want to go home and make surethe house is clean, sometimes
(05:25):
those are things that I stillhave to do, even if I don't
enjoy them, to protect my peaceand take care of myself, to set
myself up for success yeah,that's a good one.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
So, with that being said, what is your self-care
routine?
Speaker 3 (05:39):
I am a work in progress with that.
I definitely have gotten betterthis whole last year.
I feel like it's been a year ofreflection and self growth, and
so I'm leaning into a lot ofthese things more so now.
But for me, I really have.
I've gotten way better aboutleaving work, at work, and when
(06:02):
I come home, I'm a wife and amom and I'm no longer employed
by anyone yeah, I am employed bymy house and I do what I want
to do, um, and so I get in thethe right frame of mind and you
know, if I need to just veg outone night and I come home and I
don't want to cook dinner, Idon't have to cook dinner.
And if I want to, you know, dosomething spontaneous with cole,
(06:26):
my son, um, and my husband,then we just do it.
And I feel better about it nowbecause I'm making that
separation.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Yeah it does.
I feel like that plays a partfor self-care, but even mental
health, like you have to havethat break.
If not, that that's where thatburnout does come from.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
And I feel like we both can.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Yeah, we understand all about burnout For sure,
unfortunately.
So with all this self-growth,that has happened.
What advice would you giveyounger self?
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Do it all, just do it all, do it all.
Anything that you can, I think,be comfortable, get comfortable
quick with being uncomfortablereally I spent.
Let's see, I'm 28 now.
I spent up until I moved toodessa, so maybe 25 stuck in the
(07:23):
same place, really stuck, butin the same place that I grew up
.
Love my hometown.
It is great, it's just likeeverybody's hometown.
Everybody knows each other.
You know everybody wants toleave as soon as they graduate,
the whole kit and caboodle.
But I didn't realize or I tookfor granted everything that I
could have seized, all theopportunities that I could have
(07:45):
seized there, and I didn'trealize there are so many things
that are accessible to me, orthere's a way that you can
figure it out, or there's allthese opportunities, things that
you can do and take advantageof.
Until now and now I have alittle bit more obstacles, um,
in the way, not really obstacles, but it's a little more
(08:06):
difficult to plan around childcare now, or, you know, being a
wife, and finances and workschedule, all the things.
So, you know, I just think backduring college, being a
traditional college student, andyou know, go study abroad, see
if there's a scholarship or agrant or something that'll pay
for it.
If finances are, you know notwhere you think it's, it's out
(08:30):
of your reach, right, um, go, godo the traveling.
Go, do all the things or takethe class or whatever.
Just do what you want to do.
Take a year off and, I don'tknow, teach yourself how to cook
, whatever.
Just do a lot of things.
Yeah, be uncomfortable.
Just walk in the rooms.
(08:51):
Go to um, an organization thatyou think sounds cool, might be
interesting.
You don't know anybody in theroom.
That's okay, because if youkeep showing up, it's gonna get
comfortable eventually.
You're not going to becomfortable right off the bat.
You're not going to knoweveryone right off the bat, but
the more you go and do things,the more you'll get comfortable
(09:13):
with being uncomfortable, thebetter it's going to serve you.
You're going to become moreresourceful.
You're going to learn newpeople.
You're going to make amazingconnections connections you
never know what's gonna happen,but you have to position
yourself for success andadvantages and you have to do
that with being uncomfortablefirst we can just stop right
(09:34):
there.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
I'm just saying I don't know about anybody else,
but I was listening and I waslike, okay, lord, I hear you,
because I feel like for me wasstepping out with like life.
For, say, I told Erin the otherday I said this is overwhelming
, because there's so many thingsthat come with life coaching,
as far as setting up thebusiness side and the paperwork
and all that that I'm like dude,I have no clue and it's the
(09:59):
uncomfortable that thenchallenges me and that's where I
grow and that's what thisbusiness is gonna, you know,
blossom from.
is me being uncomfortable andsaying, hey, I need some help,
or hey, I don't know, orspending the times good old, my
good old friend youtube, yeah,and watching videos until I get
(10:20):
it.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
But and you're so good about.
You have really built a networkfor yourself and made
connections where you can findresources or plug into people
who know resources, and so thatis, I think, just so immensely
valuable.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Yeah, that's one of those gods in the details, when
I didn't even realize that.
Yes, I had no idea what I wasdoing when I first started in
Odessa.
But I just said you know whatwe're gonna go and I'm gonna be
trying my best to be kind andsmile and show up like you said.
And here we are.
So what is one moment in yourlife that has really shaped you
(10:59):
or made a huge impact in yourlife?
Speaker 3 (11:02):
I know you were expecting me to say motherhood.
I was.
I'm not gonna lie to you, itwas not mother, definitely was I
.
And I will say I.
My son is four.
I did not feel like I had thehang of motherhood.
I still don't feel like I would.
Every day I'm like what is thisnew challenge going on?
(11:23):
Who, how come?
Nobody told me about this?
Yes, so it definitely was notmotherhood.
I am still learning that is newevery single day, but I feel
like I'm leaning into it better.
I would say the thing thatreally has shaped my life up to
now was my husband and Ideciding, when our son was about
(11:46):
one, to move to West Texas.
So we're originally from EastTexas, both born and raised
there.
Um, all of our families thereor has since moved away from
there.
But, um, on a whim, after COVID, my husband heard that Reeves
County.
So in the Pecos, area, not evenOdessa.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Yeah, not even Odessa .
Speaker 3 (12:09):
I mean, we had no idea where this place was.
We were looking up on the mapover dinner one night.
I was like now, what are youtalking about?
But they had decided in pastthat they were going to move
from a volunteer fire departmentto a paid emergency service
district for the county, whichis fabulous.
They cover so many, many squaremiles of the area and are much
(12:32):
needed.
Um, but my husband decided,okay, well, we're gonna pick up
and leave everything that weknow to go do this.
And I was not the same personthat I was then versus now.
I was not comfortable withbeing uncomfortable at all.
I was not involved in anything,not one thing.
(12:54):
I graduated high school, I wentand did my undergrad and then I
stayed home and hung out withmy husband and that was what we
did.
I had maybe one really reallygood friend we would hang out,
and that was about it.
Did I had maybe one reallyreally good friend we would hang
out, and that was about it.
I didn't do anything else andthat was the norm.
Like I just wasn't even lookingfor opportunities.
(13:15):
It didn't even phase me thatthat was a possibility or an
option and I was just, you know,moving along like what's the
next thing thing.
So we found out that we werepregnant with our son during a
summer.
My husband relocates to westtexas, um, about november, and
(13:36):
then I'm kind of single mom init, in east texas still, until
we sell our house and move outto West Texas in March.
Um, and that was the.
I didn't know it then yet, butthat was the best decision we
ever made for our family.
We both, to this day say we areabsolutely glad, um and I went.
(14:00):
I would even I would say out ofall the places that we could
have moved, because it wasactually between here and San
Antonio and I was so againstmoving here.
Yes, I was like where are youtrying to take me?
I need to be close to a target,sir, and I had just never been
out this way.
But you know, everybody goes toSan Antonio and so I was a
(14:21):
little familiar with that.
I was thinking you know whatare my job opportunities going
to look like?
Speaker 2 (14:25):
I think I'd have better opportunities in san
antonio than I would in westtexas, um, which I feel like may
or may not be true, right,because with us being such a
small community and always Ifeel like in need of oh yeah, um
, I would say, pretty highpositions in places yes, I don't
(14:46):
I wonder what that would havelooked like if you would have
chose the other one.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
I don't I do not think I would be anywhere near
as satisfied or in the positionthat I am in now.
Yeah, I really attribute, youknow, one of our greatest
successes as a family, as couple, as individuals, to moving out
here.
I, it is the people, it is theatmosphere, it's the grit, it is
(15:10):
just the entrepreneurial spiritin West Texas.
It's just such a melting pot ofso much activity and diversity
and different backgrounds andpeople here and I.
We fell in love with it as soonas we moved here.
So my husband obviouslycommutes because I needed to be
a little bit closer to aquote-unquote city.
(15:31):
So we live in odessa.
It's a quote-unquote.
Yes, I'm gonna move, but I'mgonna put my foot down that
we're living in odessa, um, andso he commutes.
He does shift work to pe Pegas.
He works 48 on 96 off and weloved it.
I did not work immediately whenI got here.
I stayed home and was astay-at-home mom.
I very quickly found out thatwas not for me at all and I do
(15:56):
not regret going back to theworkforce, yeah, and so now
we're here and we tell anybodywho asks like, first of all, so
thankful to be here, this is ourhome.
Now Anybody ask me where myhome is.
I only feel at home inMidland-Odessa area.
Yeah, love being here, love thepeople, and there are a
(16:16):
thousand percent moreopportunities here that are more
easily accessible than the townthat I was born and raised and
lived 25 years of my life in.
Oh wow, yes, I mean to the pointthat when I moved here and you
know, you see Brooks Landgraf,who shows up at just coffee
(16:37):
events and different localevents that are going on and
really supports the communitythat he represents, that was not
even a thing I thought happened.
I was like you're in politics,you're a celebrity.
Like you are not accessible tome, you will never know who I am
, and that is just a commontheme and something that happens
(16:59):
so often here.
if you're just uncomfortable fora little bit, show up to the
event, because most of them arefree yeah I mean you have, these
things are accessible to youand I mean that's just been a
game changer for us moving here.
It's been incredible.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
It's funny you said that about books because, um,
for school they offered anopportunity for us to go and sit
and chat with the mayor.
And I was telling my mom aboutshe said you're doing what?
And I was like I'm gonna go um,sit and chat with the mayor for
an hour and he's gonna talkabout, you know, the city and
upcoming things and issues andall that stuff.
And she was like really themayor?
(17:38):
And I'm like, yeah, and itmight have been maybe 20
students in that class, if evennot and very.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
That is amazing.
That's such a great thing.
I couldn't even tell you whothe mayor was the 25 years I
lived in east texas until afterI moved um, so I just really
appreciate that.
I think that's special it is.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
I think that's the part of the value what comes
with um.
I said I want to say small city, but I mean I guess we're small
but we're not tiny, yeah, sodon't get it, don't I guess?
Speaker 3 (18:04):
we're small, but we're not tiny.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Yeah, so don't get it , don't get confused.
Okay, we may be small, butwe're not tiny, yeah, okay.
Well, let's get into the meatof it all, yeah, so I guess,
enlighten us on what motherhood,your motherhood journey, what
it's been.
I don't know if you want tostart from the beginning, um,
(18:26):
you want to tell it in the storywhat's ever is best for you?
Um, but tell me, what is itlike being cole's mom?
Speaker 3 (18:35):
oh, I love being some days.
I think really hard about itand I'm like oh man, where?
Speaker 1 (18:42):
what are we doing?
Speaker 3 (18:42):
today, yeah, and other days I'm like this is the
best job ever.
He just cracks me up.
You know he's four, so hereally has a personality now.
And well, I guess starting fromthe beginning.
So we found out we werepregnant with Cole and we'll
start back even before then.
I met my husband nine years agothis year and it was, I mean, we
(19:08):
just knew, we clicked, gotalong and we never separated
after that and we shortly gotengaged.
We were engaged for like twoyears.
None of us could get ittogether and plan a wedding.
That is a lot.
I plan events for my life, dothat in my nine to five now, and
(19:28):
even a wedding for me was likeI don't have the time for this,
yeah, so we put it off and thenwe finally got married.
We had Cole.
Um, well, when I had met Justin,like right before I met him, I
remember having a conversationwith my mom and I was like look,
don't expect me to get married.
Um, I'm I do not care aboutthat right now, could care less.
(19:51):
I'm professionally driven.
I want to have a really, reallycool career.
There's so many things that Icould do and I don't want to
hold myself back from thatcaveat to that is I also don't
really care about having kids.
I would not say that I had thebest childhood growing up.
It was not bad.
(20:12):
Obviously, tons of people hadit way worse than I did, but I
wouldn't just say it was thebest.
So I was like I, I don't feellike I have the maternal
instincts, the knowledge or anyexperience to go back on to
really be a good mom and what akid deserves.
Yeah, and, mind you, I washaving this conversation when I
(20:36):
was 19 years old with my mom.
So there I was, like I knoweverything right, right, had no
idea what was in store.
So me and my husband we aretogether for about four or five
years have our son.
How old were you when you gotpregnant?
I guess I was 28 now and he's Iwould have had been like 24?
(20:56):
.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Yeah, Something up in there 23?
Speaker 3 (20:58):
23, and then celebrated my 24th birthday
after he was born.
Okay, still so young.
I just remember finding out Iwas pregnant.
I worked at the hospital duringthat time in labor and delivery
, um, and I was like you know, Iknow all the things and I'm of
(21:19):
age, but I feel like I shouldnot be trusted, like I'm not old
enough to have a kid.
Right now I don't know what todo.
Yeah, they're going to sendthis kid home with me and I'm
just supposed to know how to bea mom.
Yeah, there ain't no way.
Thank goodness, I will say myhusband is the best husband ever
(21:39):
.
He is on, he is so supportive,he meets me 100% every day, even
when I can only give 10.
And I cannot say I don't bragon him enough, because it really
is a team sport.
Yeah, and he we'll get intolater, later, but he's not there
all the time, but when he is,he is given his full effort.
Yeah, and I could not havepicked a better father for my
(22:03):
child.
oh, that's, that's okay oh yeah,I picked a good one.
He's taking ladies, but he's agood one move along yes, yes.
So you know, we had a greatpregnancy.
We delivered him.
We delivered him.
He was only four pounds, lessthan a five-pound dumbbell.
I just remember this littlething is so fragile, oh my gosh.
(22:25):
And I struggled so hard thewhole first year of Cole being
born and I hate it so much.
I regret it because I willnever get that time back with
him.
So I struggled so incrediblybad with postpartum depression.
That's what I was going to ask,if that's what it was.
Yes, I mean it was.
(22:45):
It was awful and I knew aboutit because I was already working
at the hospital and therethere's a lot of conversation
and education on it.
So I was seeking all theresources and doing what I
needed to, but I just felt likeI wasn't leaning into it.
I didn't feel like I, like Ihad this little human come out
of me but I didn't feelconnected to him.
(23:07):
I didn't immediately cry when Idelivered him and so for the
longest time I'm like what iswrong with like something is
wrong with me that I am not justcompletely infatuated.
And now, looking back hindsight, like I understand and have
done all the therapy and all theresources and everything and
(23:28):
know like sometimes that justhappens and that's okay, that
doesn't make you a bad mom.
Sometimes you're struggling alittle bit, yeah, um.
And so for me, as we've gonefrom like newborn age to now,
the newborn age was kind of good.
We had the whole year.
Justin was working um in SouthTexas before we moved to West
(23:51):
Texas and he was doing hitchwork, so he'd be well.
He was supposed to be gone forlike two weeks at a time and
then home for four, and thatnever happened.
I mean he got called, he was onpaternity leave and got called
to come back early, so he didnot even get to spend a bunch of
time with us at that point.
Um, I brought, we brought Colehome from the hospital in
(24:15):
January his birthday's in lateJanuary and my husband stayed a
couple of days and then had toleave to go down South and then
a snow storm hit and we gotsnowed into our house.
So I'm like pulling a mattressin the floor in front of the
fireplace in case, likeelectricity and stuff gets
knocked out so we can stay warmand I'm worrying about the the
(24:39):
pipes getting frozen up and wedon't have water.
I can't even back my car out ofthe driveway to go to the store
or anything.
And even if I could probably betoo scared because my kid's too
small like just worse situation, yeah, than I could have
imagined.
So I mean it really was notthat bad, but as a new mom
you're just freaking out abouteverything.
(25:00):
So that was not great.
I struggled a lot with myhusband because I built up a lot
of resentment because he wasn'tthere a lot during that first
year and I was not the bestversion of myself.
Um, I wasn't.
I was physically showing up anddoing everything that I needed
to for my child, but I was notwhere I needed to be for myself.
(25:25):
Um, and I took a lot of thatout on my husband and I hate
that.
He did not deserve it.
We were both learning and heknew, like he didn't know what
he was doing either.
He's learning just like I am.
Yeah, and you know all thepressure that's put on a man,
especially in the position thatwe were in, for him to go win
(25:46):
the money and bring home thebread and all the things.
He's the provider.
Yes, so that first year wasrough, fast forward.
We're coming up on one year andwe moved to west texas and I am
oh my gosh, I'm having to leavemy mom, my whole village yeah
is there.
(26:06):
I don't know anyone elseanywhere else.
We don't know anyone when we'removing to west texas, um.
And so I just have to trust myhusband's like.
This is going to be a gooddecision for us and I really
want you to believe in me and wehave to be a united front on
this decision.
You know we're going to have towork through it.
Maybe it'll be a really goodthing.
And if you don't like it, in ayear we'll move back.
(26:27):
And in my head I'm like you arenot going to move me back.
You are not going to move meback.
You are not gonna move me back,you're just gonna get me out
here and I'm stuck.
Yeah, that's what's happening,but I mean acclimating.
It was.
It was the best decision thatwe ever made.
So we're so extremely happythat we're raising our son here
with the community that's here,and you know we've built our,
(26:49):
our village.
I'm trying.
I'm like I'm trying to figureout how old, I think I don't
feel that cold.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
He's four now, so he had to be like two, I think he,
we moved.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
He celebrated his first birthday in january, we
moved here in march and then wecelebrated his second year.
Yeah, we took him on a trip,his second year after we moved
here okay, I'm like, I'm trying.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
I'm like wait, I'm trying to, I'm like wait, when
did that too?
Okay, so you're talking about,um, justin being away.
Can we touch on why he was away, um, and how that affected, I
guess, you as a mom?
Speaker 3 (27:24):
Oh yeah, I mean well, in the whole first year.
Well, so he's a fireman.
He has known since he came outthe womb.
He wanted to be a fireman.
He's a fourth or a fifthgeneration, I think he's a
fourth generation.
So that is what his family does.
He loves it, it's his hobby,it's his lifestyle, it's
everything for him.
(27:44):
Great.
But that means part of the lineof work is you have shift work
and sometimes you go out of townfor trainings and things and
you know you don't get to pickthe schedule.
It is just a rotating schedule.
It never ends.
So sometimes you miss birthdaysand you miss Christmas and
anniversaries and that wassomething that was hard for me
(28:08):
even before we had Cole toadjust to.
I did not know anyone in thatkind of line of work before I
met my husband and so I wastalking to all these girlfriends
and wives and I'm like, what doyou mean?
He's going to be gone all thetime.
That's not going to work for me, yeah.
And then you know you just haveto ride it out and you figure
(28:29):
out how to work around it.
They do a lot of holidays andthings at the department that
you go up there for andcelebrate and then you plan
around the shifts.
But yeah, so having a child nowin that environment is
extremely difficult at times,because cole does not understand
(28:52):
a 48-96 schedule.
I mean when you say it likethat.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
I don't either.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Yeah, I mean, that is hard for him to understand.
He wants his dad.
When he wants his dad, yes, sohe'll wake up and he's like,
okay, are you going to worktoday, are you staying home with
me today?
Like what's the plan?
So we have to intentionallyprep him.
Like, okay, dad's going to work, he's going to get to work for
two days.
Yeah, we have a lot of facetimecalls.
(29:19):
We call and say good night whenwe can, um, and you know,
sometimes we like going up tothe station.
It's a little bit more of adrive here than when we were in
east texas, but going up therewhen we can and seeing him so he
can actually see what dad'sdoing.
And you know, just talking tohim, dad helps people and that
(29:41):
means that he has to go, beavailable to help people and all
the dads take turns.
So the other dads that areworking want to go see their
kids and now it's your dad'sturn.
So it's been a little moredifficult this year because
justin also is very ambitiousand wants to excel in his career
(30:02):
and so he has done a lot oftrainings this year to get a
certain certification he wantsto deploy with the state.
Yeah, is what we're buildingtowards.
So he'll be gone for a week,sometimes 10 days um out of town
to do a training and that hasbeen incredibly difficult on
Cole and by proxy me because,essentially during that time I'm
(30:28):
acting as a single mom.
Um, there's not a lot he can dofrom San Antonio or some other
place college station, um, andso it's really just me and Cole
riding it out and having toadjust schedules to that.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Like what is your.
How do you navigate that though?
Speaker 3 (30:46):
Well, again, very thankful for my husband.
We live by calendar and sothere's a lot of communication
back and forth.
He doesn't just say, okay, I'mgoing to be out of town this
week.
We do a lot of communicationabout is there anything going on
this week?
If it's a voluntary training orsomething, hey, I'm going to
(31:07):
put in for this, I want to dothis training, or I want to sign
up for this out of town.
Is there anything that I needto be here for?
Are you going to be okay?
How can we make arrangementsand set up for me to be able to
do this?
So there's a lot of workingtogether, communication, a lot
of communication and a lot ofcommunication with Cole.
(31:29):
You know he just explaining tohim like, like, this is what
dad's going to do.
I think, on one hand, it's goodfor him to see that both of his
parents have a really good workethic, um.
But you know we're looking atit as the the trainings that
justin's trying to get throughover this past year will get him
(31:51):
this certification where he'sgoing to deploy.
And so he's not going to have toleave as often in the future if
he gets it all done now.
Oh, controversial, because Ithink a lot of people are like,
oh, but you're missing out onall the young, you know
milestones and things.
But I mean, he could very wellbe missing out on milestones
(32:11):
when he's older too.
So I think it's just kind ofyou gotta bite the bullet now,
yeah, and then the.
The big obstacle that we'reprepping for now is once he
finally starts deploying withthe state.
You know there are a lot ofbenefits for us as a family with
that, but one of the biggestdrawbacks is he'll be gone
(32:34):
anywhere from 14 to 20 somethingdays at a time.
Um may not have self-service,you know, if california has
wildfires and then go deploy, orif he's just back in east texas
for some um, wildland fires orsomething.
It just kind of depends wherethey send them.
But you never really know whatthe circumstances are going to
(32:57):
be and that's going to be reallytough on Cole and me having to
adjust my schedule and step inand manage everything while
Justin's gone and I don't havethat extra support.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Yeah, Um.
So how has your faith played apart in this?
Speaker 3 (33:16):
Oh yeah, I do more praying nowadays than I think I
have ever done and really I havetried to really center in my
first.
My first reaction is to mull itover and really spend time in
prayer and looking fordiscernment and reflection,
(33:39):
before you know making largedecisions before freaking out on
justin when you know I forgotto put that he's going out of
town for a week on the calendarand then I have work things and
I'm like I can't get out of myobligations too, like neither
one of our jobs are moreimportant than the other.
Um, and so how do we manage that?
(34:01):
Just a lot of prayer, comingtogether, praying together and
saying this is how we need tolead our family.
This is what we're called to do.
This is going to be the bestdecision for us, best decision
for Cole, our son, and you know,really staying rooted in that
faith.
(34:21):
I think that's grown usincredibly, especially since we
moved to West Texas, because wereally were not leading in our
faith before we moved here, andnow it really is a pillar.
I just am amazed because I seeJustin really openly talking to
Cole about faith and who God is,and you know what our beliefs
(34:45):
are as a family and it is justso encouraging.
That's so sweet.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
I'm like, oh okay, I'm just all in center and just
say, oh, that doesn't get usanywhere in this thing, yeah,
but earlier you talked about avillage.
How important is a village andwhat does your village look like
?
Because you, I do feel, feellike I don't want to say, lucked
up, but you have what?
Speaker 3 (35:11):
yeah, you have a pretty solid village there so
all of my family is still inEast Texas.
We're actually about to go thisnext week to go see them.
We definitely don't see themoften enough.
Um, and while we lived in easttexas when I first had my son, I
was like, oh, we got it.
Like, I have my mom, I'm agrandmother, I have two um
(35:33):
brothers that would beincredible babysitters.
Um, I have my little sister whois going to grow up with cole
and all of the things.
I have best friends.
We have really good friendcouples who, you know, are
eventually going to have kidstoo.
They're going to be aroundclose age and all of those
dynamics.
But then we moved.
(35:54):
Um, and that is one of thebiggest scares that I had when
we moved is I'm not going toknow anyone and really why it
didn't work when we got here,because what am I going to?
do Like I don't know any ofthese daycares.
I don't.
I don't even know, really, like, what the town's gonna be like,
because I didn't spend any timehere before we just moved um,
(36:17):
so I don't know any daycares.
I don't know where I'mcomfortable having him placed.
Do I want someone else kind ofraising them for me, or do I
want to do that myself?
And you know, there's all thesequestions that we were asking
and we went through a lot ofdaycares.
Yeah, I remember being on theoh you were there for the
(36:38):
struggle.
Lots of tears, lots of hard days, big adjustments for Cole, and
he was just going through phases.
You know kids go through abinding phase and you know they
figure out how to work withother kids, especially being an
only child.
So it just got to the pointwhere daycare was not an option
(37:00):
for us, and so I thankfully havea very flexible job that has
tons of other working mothersand they completely understand
the situation, and so for awhile it was good for me to be
able to pick up the slack,because obviously Justin doesn't
have a job where I mean that'spatient abandonment.
He can't just leave and comehome.
Yeah, I'm like I'm a charge.
(37:20):
Is that how I charge?
Yeah, yeah, he can't be doingthat.
So by default I have to be theone who has to give the slack
and pick him up if he has toleave early one day or whatever.
If I have to stay home with himhe's sick, any of the things,
doctor's appointments, the wholenine yards.
So we quickly figured outdaycare was not going to be an
(37:42):
option.
He wasn't old enough just yetto go to kindergarten or to any
of the pre-k programs that weregoing to work with.
You know our schedule, um, andso we convinced.
Well, my brother moved out hereto work with justin's.
They work at the same firedepartment.
They are on different shifts,which is just chef's kiss.
(38:04):
Amazing, because that means Ialways have at least one of them
that's home, unless you know,they pick up some overtime on
the same shift or whatever, butI always have at least one of
them that I can call like oh man, my, my tire, I need somebody
to come change.
I mean that happens.
So, yes, or hey, I have this.
Can you help me with X, y, z?
(38:26):
So my brother who moved outhere he works with Justin, but
he also brought his girlfriendwho has a background in child
care.
She is the best, shelby Steele.
If you need a babysitter, ifyou need a nanny, she, I would
(38:46):
100 recommend her.
She is the best.
We went from cole not knowingabcs one, two, threes, like
hardly anything.
He can write his name.
Now he knows his alphabet, hecan count to like 30.
I mean, he comes home and talksabout animals.
I'm like, how do you even knowwhat this is like?
(39:10):
I've never heard you talk aboutthat.
So he, she has been such ablessing.
We're so thankful to have herin our village.
Yeah, and then you know we havejust culminated all of these
friends and since a community,since we've been here, you are
such a huge part of that andcole knows he's like I want to.
(39:32):
I want to talk to miss yannimiss yanni's gonna be there.
I want to go um, yes, even ummonica and aaron that I work
with in my office.
You know he'll come up here.
Just don't bring him up duringthe day.
And they know him.
And you know just so manypeople that I know.
In a pinch, if I really neededto call on them, they would be
(39:54):
there.
Just give me a car seat?
Speaker 2 (39:56):
yes, definitely don't have a car seat.
Yes, if you tell me what thatis, we can make it right, we can
figure it out.
Speaker 3 (40:01):
Yes, but there are so many people that I would now
trust.
With cole, yeah, they're a partof the village.
I want him to know them, I wanthim to have a relationship with
them and, you know, I want himto be a part of his life yeah, I
think that's really cool.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
I had my aunt on last week and she was talking about
the same thing, how, um, havinga village, it just plays a huge
role, and I mentioned then I waslike, yeah, villages are, are
great, I mean needed for surefor kids.
But I'll be honest, I, I havemy village and you know, I
personally I'm like, yeah, Ithink, whether you have a kid,
(40:38):
um, or I guess, maybe a villagefor the kid and a village for
you personally yes, yeah, makesa difference.
Oh, yeah, because I mean, wehave bad days, down days, good
days in between days.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
Right, well, and even me just being able to call you
and like soundboard like, oh mygosh, you're not going to
believe this.
Yeah.
I mean, and just how good Ifeel after being able to tell
someone who's not involved inthe situation and say this
happened.
This is how I feel about it.
Okay, now let me go fix it.
I just needed you to listen tome for like a second.
Yeah, I mean, and that's sopowerful.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
I think one of the sweetest moments that I would
never forget in my friendship isyou were having a bad day.
A lot of those, no, but youwere having a bad day.
I don't know if you werealready at the chamber.
I don't know why I'm gettingready to cry.
I don't know if you're alreadyat the chamber, but you came by
and I said you know what, don'tworry about it, let's just pray.
Yes, I remember that day andwell, I don't think you listen
to my podcast anyway, but Idefinitely disappeared from the
(41:40):
chamber for 2.5 seconds and wentdown and prayed and I was like,
I was like, okay, I was like Ihope that I was like lord you
know, I hope you hear my prayersand I can hear that for her.
But I don't remember what thesituation was.
Speaker 3 (41:52):
But I don't either.
I don't remember, but no, Ijust remember that moment.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
I think that's one that I will um definitely, oh,
besides um church, oh, that too,yeah, that too I'm a crier, I
guess anybody.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
I guess there's a couple.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
And then also when aaron and I got married and cole
came down by himself to give mea hug.
Um, it's actually, we have adigital camera, a digital, not
camera like photo album.
Yeah and that's one of the onesthat loop through is, uh, me
and him.
So so yeah, wow, yeah well youknow I told you before we
recorded that I was gonna askyou to give words of
(42:29):
encouragement and I said it canbe about anything switching it
up on you, keeping you on yourfeet.
You know, I actually want youto give encouragement to, um, a
mother or a woman, because Imean, technically they don't
have any moms.
Um, that's listening, that is aspouse, a girlfriend, a mother,
(42:53):
a grandma.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
To a first responder let me tell you it's rough and
it doesn't get easier.
I mean, there's always newobstacles and things, but I I
just know from experience withJustin they love so fiercely and
they are such selfless people Imean so incredibly thankful for
(43:17):
them.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:19):
It creates a world of new obstacles and hurdles for
you, especially being um, newobstacles and hurdles for you,
especially being um the woman inthe life of a first responder
and then adding, like the mom ofthe family unit.
But it's not impossible andthere are so many more good
things that come from it.
(43:40):
Just think.
I know for me it sucks havingto rearrange plans.
You know we can't do Christmason Christmas Day, so how are we
still going to do Santa and allthe traditions and everything
with Cole?
And you know just all therearranging and planning and
preparation that it takes justfor him to go on shift.
(44:01):
Does he have everything washedand packed and everything that
he needs, and what is he goingto be seeing for the next 48
hours?
But what I'm learning as cole'sgetting older?
He admires justin so much andjustin is teaching him so many
incredible values that I'm gladhe's getting that he wouldn't
(44:23):
have gotten if he wasn't in afirst responder family.
So just compassion for others,um, you know, really doing
selfless work and having apassion for it, um, how to be
considerate of others andcognizant of other people in
different situations.
We're constantly telling ColeCole, you know, not everybody
(44:47):
has what you have and so reallybeing grateful for that, and how
to talk to other kids you know,kids who are displaced from
fires or, you know, have lost aparent because of something that
Justin would have run on in acall at work.
He is so much more easily ableto talk to Cole about things
(45:11):
like that, which are soimportant, that I can't do yeah,
um, I'm just not comfortabledoing it.
It's not something I see everyday in work and so the values
and things that he's bringingare well worth.
You know, having to go throughall the extra hurdles and
milestones and it makes himbeing home for um, all the
(45:32):
celebrations and you knowmoments, birthdays, anniversary
times that much more special.
Um, yeah, I mean, uh, Icouldn't have picked a better
one.
He's just just great.
So I think the payoff andreally what are you getting in a
first responder family?
Speaker 2 (45:52):
all the important and incredible things that your
spouse is doing for your familyum, yeah, wow, you know I'm
sitting here thinking I guess Iobviously, since I met you, I've
known that justin has been likehe's a firefighter, but I don't
think I've ever like fully satand processed him like really
(46:14):
being like gone for one.
I mean, I know he's gone, butlike fully sat with it, yeah,
and what it may be like, likeyou know, in your, your shoes
yeah, and honestly it's a littlebetter now because he's he he's
on the 4896.
Speaker 3 (46:28):
They do shift change at 10 AM so for him to drive to
the station he leaves by 8 AM.
So reasonably during the weekwe can wake up with them and see
them out the door and you knowwe're up when he comes home and
he has enough days where hedoesn't just want to sleep for a
full day and then go back intowork.
He has some some actual timeoff with us.
Used to um, when we lived ineast texas he worked for a fire
(46:51):
department but he alsovolunteered at a local volunteer
department another level ofcommitment right now oh my gosh,
let me tell you we slept with ascanner or page or whatever, I
don't even know beside our bedand that was.
If you're a first responder wife, you know that is the bane of
(47:11):
your existence, because thatthing will go off at 2 am.
This man, I've never seen himget dressed faster than when a
call drops.
He is out of bed, he's got hisstuff on, he is in his truck and
he is going to help a person hedoesn't even know.
He doesn't even know, yeah, andhe's just throwing himself out
there middle of the night or anytime of day and dropping what
(47:34):
he's doing to go help someoneelse.
Yeah, now we don't do all thatanymore.
He doesn't volunteer anymorebecause he's uh, he's working
out here.
But yeah, it's wild, it's awild lifestyle.
It's not not conducive foreveryone, but it's a really
special thing, wow well, isthere anything else that I might
(47:58):
have left off?
Speaker 2 (47:59):
um, about your journey or um, I guess, being a
first responders wife and allthat, anything that I we didn't
talk about, that you felt likeis important I think that pretty
well covers it.
Speaker 3 (48:10):
You know, pray, pray for those first responders, but
be praying for those firstresponders.
Families too, um, especiallyespecially those who are not
always coming back from work.
Yeah, I could not imagine.
Obviously, it's always a riskwith Justin going to work, but
(48:33):
it's very hard for me to imaginehim not returning from work
ever.
And so that is something thatthese families, and especially
these wives, kind of always havelooming over them.
Maybe it's not always in theforefront of their mind, but
that's a struggle that they,that is, realistically in their
life.
You know, what if somethinghappens?
(48:53):
Um, and so I I always keepthose families especially in my
prayers keep that in mind.
Speaker 2 (49:01):
Add that to my prayer list, for sure.
Um so one.
Actually, I have two questionsfor you, but I'm going to ask
this one first, what do youstand for?
I know man a lot.
Give it to me.
Give it, what is it?
Speaker 3 (49:18):
Give some grace.
Overflow with the grace.
You can't give enough grace.
You don't know what otherpeople are going through and if
they're just having a bad day.
And I'm not good at this, I amnot good at giving people grace
and it is something that I'mconstantly working on, but it's
something that I I really wantto do and I do try to work on.
(49:41):
You don't know what is going onwith anyone.
You don't know what that personneeds.
You don't know what they'restruggling with.
Just give.
You don't know what that personneeds.
You don't know what they'restruggling with.
Just give some grace.
We are all just humans.
We are all trying to figure itout.
Nobody knows what they're doing.
Yeah, just help everybody along.
Speaker 2 (49:56):
That is true.
Speaker 3 (49:57):
We're all just trying to make it.
Speaker 2 (49:58):
I tell you about a time I'm like now you, God, woke
you up this morning.
Speaker 3 (50:09):
And God is up this morning and god is giving you
grace.
Yes, on a probably hourly basis, if not.
Yes, and especially those othermoms that you're out there
judging.
Oh, since we're talking aboutmother's day, yeah, and I'm
guilty of it too.
I am not perfect, but I reallydo, more often now that my son
is a little bit older and he isa handful, and we go to target
and he's losing his mind overthese toys, and then I see other
(50:31):
moms and I'm like it's okay,girl, I know those days.
I know those days.
I have them too.
You're just trying to make it.
I'm not faulting you for yourchoices, I get it.
Speaker 2 (50:40):
Yeah, I get it yeah, I mean I, that's actually really
great.
Grace has definitely neededmore.
So my last question for you is,with firefighting being kind of
in the blood if Cole gets olderand says you know, hey Mom, hey
Dad, this is, you know, this iswhat I want to do.
Speaker 3 (50:59):
Yeah, I think when I first got with Justin, that was
a concern.
If we ever had kids, I'm likelike I don't know how I'd react,
because not only is it now myhusband, now I run the risk of
something happening to my son,to him being in a dangerous
situation.
Um, I know he, as of right now,he's four, so obviously there's
(51:22):
a lot of time for him to changehis mind and figure it out but?
But he definitely.
He's all about it.
He thinks that way.
He loves to play firefighting,he wants to dress up, he wants
to know everything his dad isdoing.
He knows all the differenttrucks, he's about it.
So there's a good chance.
You know, he'll be fifthgeneration.
That'll be really special forthem to share that.
(51:42):
I think I'm prepped for it.
But there is that little bit ofme that's like you can go to be
a doctor.
Speaker 2 (51:50):
Yes, you still save lives, yeah, yeah I don't know.
I was looking at that pictureand I was like dang I don't
think I've ever asked her thatwhat?
Speaker 3 (51:57):
would you justin and I've talked about it several
times and in the beginning hewas like no, he's gonna be a
fireman there is no ifs, ands orbuts about it, like that's what
he needs to do.
And so now you know, we'regrowing, we're maturing, we're
getting a little bit older andhe's, he's come around to the
idea maybe, if that's not whathe's into, it'll be okay yeah
(52:19):
because at that point what callsfor?
Speaker 2 (52:21):
she got at least 14 years.
How many years has uh justinbeen with reese county?
Speaker 3 (52:27):
since we moved here, so about three years now.
So that'll be.
But he's been volunteeringsince he was in high school,
like 17 years being afirefighter.
Speaker 2 (52:36):
What's, what's the?
How long?
How?
How long can he be a firemanuntil you don't want to be one
anymore?
I guess how does?
Speaker 3 (52:42):
that work?
Not exactly sure.
I just know my husband's gonnabe doing it till they tell him
to go home and he can't do itanymore.
Speaker 2 (52:47):
So you, have to get.
Um, yeah, just in a side hobby,hit you with a coffin or
something.
Right, goodness gracious.
Well, thank you again forcoming on and sharing your story
as co's mom.
For those that are listening,just remember that you are loved
(53:09):
, you are needed, you are wanted.
God has a plan for your life.
Like Savannah said, pray it out, you don't know.
Pray you know.
Pray you feel lost.
Pray you feel found.
Speaker 3 (53:22):
Pray, whatever it is just pray.
Speaker 2 (53:26):
I know for Aaron and I we typically try to start our
mornings with prayer togetherand then we end the night with
prayer together.
So usually whoever does morning, the other person does the
evening, and I just feel like italso.
It's made a huge differencepersonally, but also as us as a
couple as well.
So, yeah, that was great advice.
So just make sure you pray thatthing out.
And that's it, and I this onewe dropped right before mother's
(53:50):
day.
So I do want to tell all themothers, um, listening, happy
mother's day.
Um, and let's just be mindfulof the women that may be
listening.
Um, they may have lost theirlittle one.
Spray upay, lord Jesus, pray aspecial prayer for them.
(54:11):
I know this holiday is probablya hard one, so just keep them
in mind.
And with that I say bye.
Speaker 1 (54:19):
Thank you for listening to another episode of
Standing in your Truth withYanni.
And if no one told you today,you are loved, you are beautiful
, you are needed and you matter,be sure to follow on Facebook
at Standing in your TruthPodcast with Yanni.
Also on Instagram Talks withYanni.
Hello everyone, welcome to Standing In your
Truth podcast with your host,yanni.
On this podcast you'll hearYanni, family and friends having
open-ended discussions onanything from faith, finances,
relationships and how to staymotivated during life's trying
times.
Make sure to follow on allsocial media platforms.
(00:23):
The social media link is in thebio.
Sit back and get ready to enjoy.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of
Standing your Truth Podcast.
I am your host, yanni.
How's it going?
Happy May, I think I said thatlast episode, but whatever,
school's almost out.
I know for me, technically,this is my last day of my spring
semester.
I would be excited, but I'malso taking a May semester in
(00:50):
summer courses, so my studiesbegin, but thankfully I'm past
both classes with, hopefully, ahigh grade.
I'm saying that as the gradesnot final, but I'm speaking into
existence.
Two A's is what I want, butanyway, we are continuing our
series talking about motherhoodand the journey that these
different women that I invite onhave.
(01:12):
So I'm going to let my guestintroduce herself.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Hello, I'm Savannah Woodward.
Y'all and I have known eachother for going on about three
years now.
It doesn't seem like it, but asI look at colin your wallet
like oh yeah, yeah sure it'skind of flown by, but also it
was like yesterday too.
So I, um am the director ofspecial events at the shepherd
(01:38):
leadership institute, which is adepartment at the university of
texas permian basin whaty'all's thing you know everybody
has like a falcons up, oh thereit is falcons up.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Okay, I almost said guns up.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
That's the wrong thing sorry, texas day, yeah, my
bad, all right.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Well, thank you for coming on.
Um, I know your story, so Ifeel like there's definitely
going to be um a group of womenthat can relate to your journey.
But we'll get there.
First, let's start with ourhouse questions.
Allow all of us to get to knowyou a little bit better.
So what motivates you?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
That's a great question.
I feel like I'm in kind of atransitional period right now
because I could right off thebat tell you, up to this point,
I was really motivated by, like,professional development and
career development, and so itwas.
You know, how do I get thedegree to get the job and how
can I really excel at the joband do all the professional
(02:38):
development to get?
You know, keep climbing thatladder, and that's really what
success was framed like for me.
And now, being a mom and youknow all the things I'm really
happy with where I'm at in mycareer, but that ideology and
you know, train of thought isreally shifting.
(02:59):
So really what motivates me nowis making sure that I'm taking
care of myself, I'm not inburnout constantly anymore, that
I have a good work-life balancenow and that I can prioritize
things that I care about so thatI can be the best for my
husband but also for my son Wow,it's so funny, as you're saying
(03:22):
that, about you know stayingaway from burnout and making
sure that you're the best foreveryone around you.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
We had a conversation about two weeks ago maybe how
we've both kind of taken a stepback and are more selfish with
our time.
And just I just say selfish,maybe just more intentional.
Well, leaning into it, right.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
And being OK with it.
I think before it was like if Iwasn't going going, going and
had every second of my daybooked, it was like, oh, you're
just being lazy, like that'swasted time, and reframing the
thought behind it and thinking,no, this is not wasted time,
this is needed time and it'sokay to take a step back because
that's actually helping me morethan it's hurting.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
I've had to realize naps are okay.
Uh, love a nap.
Yeah, about 30, 45 minutes, andI'm good to go.
Anything more than that, I'mprobably waking up with, like
what day is it?
Did I miss something?
Yeah, um.
But so how do you protect yourmental health?
Speaker 3 (04:22):
I think you know motivation, the what we said
really lends itself well to thatalso kind of overlaps.
I have really had to learn andidentify what actually fills me,
and I I heard these wise wordsfrom someone that I work with
last year and it's stuck with me.
I work with last year and it'sstuck with me.
(04:43):
There's a difference betweensomething that fills you and
something that you enjoy.
So things that you enjoy canalso fill you, but there are
things that you enjoy that don'tfill you.
So those people who go onvacation and need a vacation
from the vacation afterward,that's not actually filling,
even if it is enjoyable.
(05:03):
So for me word that's notactually filling, even if it is
enjoyable.
So for me it's.
What do I need to do to reallybe able to separate and, to you
know, fill myself and protect mypeace?
Um, even sometimes if I'm like,oh, I don't need to do this, I
need, I don't want to go homeand just be lazy, or I don't
want to go home and make surethe house is clean, sometimes
(05:25):
those are things that I stillhave to do, even if I don't
enjoy them, to protect my peaceand take care of myself, to set
myself up for success yeah,that's a good one.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
So, with that being said, what is your self-care
routine?
Speaker 3 (05:39):
I am a work in progress with that.
I definitely have gotten betterthis whole last year.
I feel like it's been a year ofreflection and self growth, and
so I'm leaning into a lot ofthese things more so now.
But for me, I really have.
I've gotten way better aboutleaving work, at work, and when
(06:02):
I come home, I'm a wife and amom and I'm no longer employed
by anyone yeah, I am employed bymy house and I do what I want
to do, um, and so I get in thethe right frame of mind and you
know, if I need to just veg outone night and I come home and I
don't want to cook dinner, Idon't have to cook dinner.
And if I want to, you know, dosomething spontaneous with cole,
(06:26):
my son, um, and my husband,then we just do it.
And I feel better about it nowbecause I'm making that
separation.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Yeah it does.
I feel like that plays a partfor self-care, but even mental
health, like you have to havethat break.
If not, that that's where thatburnout does come from.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
And I feel like we both can.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Yeah, we understand all about burnout For sure,
unfortunately.
So with all this self-growth,that has happened.
What advice would you giveyounger self?
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Do it all, just do it all, do it all.
Anything that you can, I think,be comfortable, get comfortable
quick with being uncomfortablereally I spent.
Let's see, I'm 28 now.
I spent up until I moved toodessa, so maybe 25 stuck in the
(07:23):
same place, really stuck, butin the same place that I grew up
.
Love my hometown.
It is great, it's just likeeverybody's hometown.
Everybody knows each other.
You know everybody wants toleave as soon as they graduate,
the whole kit and caboodle.
But I didn't realize or I tookfor granted everything that I
could have seized, all theopportunities that I could have
(07:45):
seized there, and I didn'trealize there are so many things
that are accessible to me, orthere's a way that you can
figure it out, or there's allthese opportunities, things that
you can do and take advantageof.
Until now and now I have alittle bit more obstacles, um,
in the way, not really obstacles, but it's a little more
(08:06):
difficult to plan around childcare now, or, you know, being a
wife, and finances and workschedule, all the things.
So, you know, I just think backduring college, being a
traditional college student, andyou know, go study abroad, see
if there's a scholarship or agrant or something that'll pay
for it.
If finances are, you know notwhere you think it's, it's out
(08:30):
of your reach, right, um, go, godo the traveling.
Go, do all the things or takethe class or whatever.
Just do what you want to do.
Take a year off and, I don'tknow, teach yourself how to cook
, whatever.
Just do a lot of things.
Yeah, be uncomfortable.
Just walk in the rooms.
(08:51):
Go to um, an organization thatyou think sounds cool, might be
interesting.
You don't know anybody in theroom.
That's okay, because if youkeep showing up, it's gonna get
comfortable eventually.
You're not going to becomfortable right off the bat.
You're not going to knoweveryone right off the bat, but
the more you go and do things,the more you'll get comfortable
(09:13):
with being uncomfortable, thebetter it's going to serve you.
You're going to become moreresourceful.
You're going to learn newpeople.
You're going to make amazingconnections connections you
never know what's gonna happen,but you have to position
yourself for success andadvantages and you have to do
that with being uncomfortablefirst we can just stop right
(09:34):
there.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
I'm just saying I don't know about anybody else,
but I was listening and I waslike, okay, lord, I hear you,
because I feel like for me wasstepping out with like life.
For, say, I told Erin the otherday I said this is overwhelming
, because there's so many thingsthat come with life coaching,
as far as setting up thebusiness side and the paperwork
and all that that I'm like dude,I have no clue and it's the
(09:59):
uncomfortable that thenchallenges me and that's where I
grow and that's what thisbusiness is gonna, you know,
blossom from.
is me being uncomfortable andsaying, hey, I need some help,
or hey, I don't know, orspending the times good old, my
good old friend youtube, yeah,and watching videos until I get
(10:20):
it.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
But and you're so good about.
You have really built a networkfor yourself and made
connections where you can findresources or plug into people
who know resources, and so thatis, I think, just so immensely
valuable.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Yeah, that's one of those gods in the details, when
I didn't even realize that.
Yes, I had no idea what I wasdoing when I first started in
Odessa.
But I just said you know whatwe're gonna go and I'm gonna be
trying my best to be kind andsmile and show up like you said.
And here we are.
So what is one moment in yourlife that has really shaped you
(10:59):
or made a huge impact in yourlife?
Speaker 3 (11:02):
I know you were expecting me to say motherhood.
I was.
I'm not gonna lie to you, itwas not mother, definitely was I
.
And I will say I.
My son is four.
I did not feel like I had thehang of motherhood.
I still don't feel like I would.
Every day I'm like what is thisnew challenge going on?
(11:23):
Who, how come?
Nobody told me about this?
Yes, so it definitely was notmotherhood.
I am still learning that is newevery single day, but I feel
like I'm leaning into it better.
I would say the thing thatreally has shaped my life up to
now was my husband and Ideciding, when our son was about
(11:46):
one, to move to West Texas.
So we're originally from EastTexas, both born and raised
there.
Um, all of our families thereor has since moved away from
there.
But, um, on a whim, after COVID, my husband heard that Reeves
County.
So in the Pecos, area, not evenOdessa.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Yeah, not even Odessa .
Speaker 3 (12:09):
I mean, we had no idea where this place was.
We were looking up on the mapover dinner one night.
I was like now, what are youtalking about?
But they had decided in pastthat they were going to move
from a volunteer fire departmentto a paid emergency service
district for the county, whichis fabulous.
They cover so many, many squaremiles of the area and are much
(12:32):
needed.
Um, but my husband decided,okay, well, we're gonna pick up
and leave everything that weknow to go do this.
And I was not the same personthat I was then versus now.
I was not comfortable withbeing uncomfortable at all.
I was not involved in anything,not one thing.
(12:54):
I graduated high school, I wentand did my undergrad and then I
stayed home and hung out withmy husband and that was what we
did.
I had maybe one really reallygood friend we would hang out,
and that was about it.
Did I had maybe one reallyreally good friend we would hang
out, and that was about it.
I didn't do anything else andthat was the norm.
Like I just wasn't even lookingfor opportunities.
(13:15):
It didn't even phase me thatthat was a possibility or an
option and I was just, you know,moving along like what's the
next thing thing.
So we found out that we werepregnant with our son during a
summer.
My husband relocates to westtexas, um, about november, and
(13:36):
then I'm kind of single mom init, in east texas still, until
we sell our house and move outto West Texas in March.
Um, and that was the.
I didn't know it then yet, butthat was the best decision we
ever made for our family.
We both, to this day say we areabsolutely glad, um and I went.
(14:00):
I would even I would say out ofall the places that we could
have moved, because it wasactually between here and San
Antonio and I was so againstmoving here.
Yes, I was like where are youtrying to take me?
I need to be close to a target,sir, and I had just never been
out this way.
But you know, everybody goes toSan Antonio and so I was a
(14:21):
little familiar with that.
I was thinking you know whatare my job opportunities going
to look like?
Speaker 2 (14:25):
I think I'd have better opportunities in san
antonio than I would in westtexas, um, which I feel like may
or may not be true, right,because with us being such a
small community and always Ifeel like in need of oh yeah, um
, I would say, pretty highpositions in places yes, I don't
(14:46):
I wonder what that would havelooked like if you would have
chose the other one.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
I don't I do not think I would be anywhere near
as satisfied or in the positionthat I am in now.
Yeah, I really attribute, youknow, one of our greatest
successes as a family, as couple, as individuals, to moving out
here.
I, it is the people, it is theatmosphere, it's the grit, it is
(15:10):
just the entrepreneurial spiritin West Texas.
It's just such a melting pot ofso much activity and diversity
and different backgrounds andpeople here and I.
We fell in love with it as soonas we moved here.
So my husband obviouslycommutes because I needed to be
a little bit closer to aquote-unquote city.
(15:31):
So we live in odessa.
It's a quote-unquote.
Yes, I'm gonna move, but I'mgonna put my foot down that
we're living in odessa, um, andso he commutes.
He does shift work to pe Pegas.
He works 48 on 96 off and weloved it.
I did not work immediately whenI got here.
I stayed home and was astay-at-home mom.
I very quickly found out thatwas not for me at all and I do
(15:56):
not regret going back to theworkforce, yeah, and so now
we're here and we tell anybodywho asks like, first of all, so
thankful to be here, this is ourhome.
Now Anybody ask me where myhome is.
I only feel at home inMidland-Odessa area.
Yeah, love being here, love thepeople, and there are a
(16:16):
thousand percent moreopportunities here that are more
easily accessible than the townthat I was born and raised and
lived 25 years of my life in.
Oh wow, yes, I mean to the pointthat when I moved here and you
know, you see Brooks Landgraf,who shows up at just coffee
(16:37):
events and different localevents that are going on and
really supports the communitythat he represents, that was not
even a thing I thought happened.
I was like you're in politics,you're a celebrity.
Like you are not accessible tome, you will never know who I am
, and that is just a commontheme and something that happens
(16:59):
so often here.
if you're just uncomfortable fora little bit, show up to the
event, because most of them arefree yeah I mean you have, these
things are accessible to youand I mean that's just been a
game changer for us moving here.
It's been incredible.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
It's funny you said that about books because, um,
for school they offered anopportunity for us to go and sit
and chat with the mayor.
And I was telling my mom aboutshe said you're doing what?
And I was like I'm gonna go um,sit and chat with the mayor for
an hour and he's gonna talkabout, you know, the city and
upcoming things and issues andall that stuff.
And she was like really themayor?
(17:38):
And I'm like, yeah, and itmight have been maybe 20
students in that class, if evennot and very.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
That is amazing.
That's such a great thing.
I couldn't even tell you whothe mayor was the 25 years I
lived in east texas until afterI moved um, so I just really
appreciate that.
I think that's special it is.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
I think that's the part of the value what comes
with um.
I said I want to say small city, but I mean I guess we're small
but we're not tiny, yeah, sodon't get it, don't I guess?
Speaker 3 (18:04):
we're small, but we're not tiny.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Yeah, so don't get it , don't get confused.
Okay, we may be small, butwe're not tiny, yeah, okay.
Well, let's get into the meatof it all, yeah, so I guess,
enlighten us on what motherhood,your motherhood journey, what
it's been.
I don't know if you want tostart from the beginning, um,
(18:26):
you want to tell it in the storywhat's ever is best for you?
Um, but tell me, what is itlike being cole's mom?
Speaker 3 (18:35):
oh, I love being some days.
I think really hard about itand I'm like oh man, where?
Speaker 1 (18:42):
what are we doing?
Speaker 3 (18:42):
today, yeah, and other days I'm like this is the
best job ever.
He just cracks me up.
You know he's four, so hereally has a personality now.
And well, I guess starting fromthe beginning.
So we found out we werepregnant with Cole and we'll
start back even before then.
I met my husband nine years agothis year and it was, I mean, we
(19:08):
just knew, we clicked, gotalong and we never separated
after that and we shortly gotengaged.
We were engaged for like twoyears.
None of us could get ittogether and plan a wedding.
That is a lot.
I plan events for my life, dothat in my nine to five now, and
(19:28):
even a wedding for me was likeI don't have the time for this,
yeah, so we put it off and thenwe finally got married.
We had Cole.
Um, well, when I had met Justin,like right before I met him, I
remember having a conversationwith my mom and I was like look,
don't expect me to get married.
Um, I'm I do not care aboutthat right now, could care less.
(19:51):
I'm professionally driven.
I want to have a really, reallycool career.
There's so many things that Icould do and I don't want to
hold myself back from thatcaveat to that is I also don't
really care about having kids.
I would not say that I had thebest childhood growing up.
It was not bad.
(20:12):
Obviously, tons of people hadit way worse than I did, but I
wouldn't just say it was thebest.
So I was like I, I don't feellike I have the maternal
instincts, the knowledge or anyexperience to go back on to
really be a good mom and what akid deserves.
Yeah, and, mind you, I washaving this conversation when I
(20:36):
was 19 years old with my mom.
So there I was, like I knoweverything right, right, had no
idea what was in store.
So me and my husband we aretogether for about four or five
years have our son.
How old were you when you gotpregnant?
I guess I was 28 now and he's Iwould have had been like 24?
(20:56):
.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Yeah, Something up in there 23?
Speaker 3 (20:58):
23, and then celebrated my 24th birthday
after he was born.
Okay, still so young.
I just remember finding out Iwas pregnant.
I worked at the hospital duringthat time in labor and delivery
, um, and I was like you know, Iknow all the things and I'm of
(21:19):
age, but I feel like I shouldnot be trusted, like I'm not old
enough to have a kid.
Right now I don't know what todo.
Yeah, they're going to sendthis kid home with me and I'm
just supposed to know how to bea mom.
Yeah, there ain't no way.
Thank goodness, I will say myhusband is the best husband ever
(21:39):
.
He is on, he is so supportive,he meets me 100% every day, even
when I can only give 10.
And I cannot say I don't bragon him enough, because it really
is a team sport.
Yeah, and he we'll get intolater, later, but he's not there
all the time, but when he is,he is given his full effort.
Yeah, and I could not havepicked a better father for my
(22:03):
child.
oh, that's, that's okay oh yeah,I picked a good one.
He's taking ladies, but he's agood one move along yes, yes.
So you know, we had a greatpregnancy.
We delivered him.
We delivered him.
He was only four pounds, lessthan a five-pound dumbbell.
I just remember this littlething is so fragile, oh my gosh.
(22:25):
And I struggled so hard thewhole first year of Cole being
born and I hate it so much.
I regret it because I willnever get that time back with
him.
So I struggled so incrediblybad with postpartum depression.
That's what I was going to ask,if that's what it was.
Yes, I mean it was.
(22:45):
It was awful and I knew aboutit because I was already working
at the hospital and therethere's a lot of conversation
and education on it.
So I was seeking all theresources and doing what I
needed to, but I just felt likeI wasn't leaning into it.
I didn't feel like I, like Ihad this little human come out
of me but I didn't feelconnected to him.
(23:07):
I didn't immediately cry when Idelivered him and so for the
longest time I'm like what iswrong with like something is
wrong with me that I am not justcompletely infatuated.
And now, looking back hindsight, like I understand and have
done all the therapy and all theresources and everything and
(23:28):
know like sometimes that justhappens and that's okay, that
doesn't make you a bad mom.
Sometimes you're struggling alittle bit, yeah, um.
And so for me, as we've gonefrom like newborn age to now,
the newborn age was kind of good.
We had the whole year.
Justin was working um in SouthTexas before we moved to West
(23:51):
Texas and he was doing hitchwork, so he'd be well.
He was supposed to be gone forlike two weeks at a time and
then home for four, and thatnever happened.
I mean he got called, he was onpaternity leave and got called
to come back early, so he didnot even get to spend a bunch of
time with us at that point.
Um, I brought, we brought Colehome from the hospital in
(24:15):
January his birthday's in lateJanuary and my husband stayed a
couple of days and then had toleave to go down South and then
a snow storm hit and we gotsnowed into our house.
So I'm like pulling a mattressin the floor in front of the
fireplace in case, likeelectricity and stuff gets
knocked out so we can stay warmand I'm worrying about the the
(24:39):
pipes getting frozen up and wedon't have water.
I can't even back my car out ofthe driveway to go to the store
or anything.
And even if I could probably betoo scared because my kid's too
small like just worse situation, yeah, than I could have
imagined.
So I mean it really was notthat bad, but as a new mom
you're just freaking out abouteverything.
(25:00):
So that was not great.
I struggled a lot with myhusband because I built up a lot
of resentment because he wasn'tthere a lot during that first
year and I was not the bestversion of myself.
Um, I wasn't.
I was physically showing up anddoing everything that I needed
to for my child, but I was notwhere I needed to be for myself.
(25:25):
Um, and I took a lot of thatout on my husband and I hate
that.
He did not deserve it.
We were both learning and heknew, like he didn't know what
he was doing either.
He's learning just like I am.
Yeah, and you know all thepressure that's put on a man,
especially in the position thatwe were in, for him to go win
(25:46):
the money and bring home thebread and all the things.
He's the provider.
Yes, so that first year wasrough, fast forward.
We're coming up on one year andwe moved to west texas and I am
oh my gosh, I'm having to leavemy mom, my whole village yeah
is there.
(26:06):
I don't know anyone elseanywhere else.
We don't know anyone when we'removing to west texas, um.
And so I just have to trust myhusband's like.
This is going to be a gooddecision for us and I really
want you to believe in me and wehave to be a united front on
this decision.
You know we're going to have towork through it.
Maybe it'll be a really goodthing.
And if you don't like it, in ayear we'll move back.
(26:27):
And in my head I'm like you arenot going to move me back.
You are not going to move meback.
You are not gonna move me back,you're just gonna get me out
here and I'm stuck.
Yeah, that's what's happening,but I mean acclimating.
It was.
It was the best decision thatwe ever made.
So we're so extremely happythat we're raising our son here
with the community that's here,and you know we've built our,
(26:49):
our village.
I'm trying.
I'm like I'm trying to figureout how old, I think I don't
feel that cold.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
He's four now, so he had to be like two, I think he,
we moved.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
He celebrated his first birthday in january, we
moved here in march and then wecelebrated his second year.
Yeah, we took him on a trip,his second year after we moved
here okay, I'm like, I'm trying.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
I'm like wait, I'm trying to, I'm like wait, when
did that too?
Okay, so you're talking about,um, justin being away.
Can we touch on why he was away, um, and how that affected, I
guess, you as a mom?
Speaker 3 (27:24):
Oh yeah, I mean well, in the whole first year.
Well, so he's a fireman.
He has known since he came outthe womb.
He wanted to be a fireman.
He's a fourth or a fifthgeneration, I think he's a
fourth generation.
So that is what his family does.
He loves it, it's his hobby,it's his lifestyle, it's
everything for him.
(27:44):
Great.
But that means part of the lineof work is you have shift work
and sometimes you go out of townfor trainings and things and
you know you don't get to pickthe schedule.
It is just a rotating schedule.
It never ends.
So sometimes you miss birthdaysand you miss Christmas and
anniversaries and that wassomething that was hard for me
(28:08):
even before we had Cole toadjust to.
I did not know anyone in thatkind of line of work before I
met my husband and so I wastalking to all these girlfriends
and wives and I'm like, what doyou mean?
He's going to be gone all thetime.
That's not going to work for me, yeah.
And then you know you just haveto ride it out and you figure
(28:29):
out how to work around it.
They do a lot of holidays andthings at the department that
you go up there for andcelebrate and then you plan
around the shifts.
But yeah, so having a child nowin that environment is
extremely difficult at times,because cole does not understand
(28:52):
a 48-96 schedule.
I mean when you say it likethat.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
I don't either.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Yeah, I mean, that is hard for him to understand.
He wants his dad.
When he wants his dad, yes, sohe'll wake up and he's like,
okay, are you going to worktoday, are you staying home with
me today?
Like what's the plan?
So we have to intentionallyprep him.
Like, okay, dad's going to work, he's going to get to work for
two days.
Yeah, we have a lot of facetimecalls.
(29:19):
We call and say good night whenwe can, um, and you know,
sometimes we like going up tothe station.
It's a little bit more of adrive here than when we were in
east texas, but going up therewhen we can and seeing him so he
can actually see what dad'sdoing.
And you know, just talking tohim, dad helps people and that
(29:41):
means that he has to go, beavailable to help people and all
the dads take turns.
So the other dads that areworking want to go see their
kids and now it's your dad'sturn.
So it's been a little moredifficult this year because
justin also is very ambitiousand wants to excel in his career
(30:02):
and so he has done a lot oftrainings this year to get a
certain certification he wantsto deploy with the state.
Yeah, is what we're buildingtowards.
So he'll be gone for a week,sometimes 10 days um out of town
to do a training and that hasbeen incredibly difficult on
Cole and by proxy me because,essentially during that time I'm
(30:28):
acting as a single mom.
Um, there's not a lot he can dofrom San Antonio or some other
place college station, um, andso it's really just me and Cole
riding it out and having toadjust schedules to that.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Like what is your.
How do you navigate that though?
Speaker 3 (30:46):
Well, again, very thankful for my husband.
We live by calendar and sothere's a lot of communication
back and forth.
He doesn't just say, okay, I'mgoing to be out of town this
week.
We do a lot of communicationabout is there anything going on
this week?
If it's a voluntary training orsomething, hey, I'm going to
(31:07):
put in for this, I want to dothis training, or I want to sign
up for this out of town.
Is there anything that I needto be here for?
Are you going to be okay?
How can we make arrangementsand set up for me to be able to
do this?
So there's a lot of workingtogether, communication, a lot
of communication and a lot ofcommunication with Cole.
(31:29):
You know he just explaining tohim like, like, this is what
dad's going to do.
I think, on one hand, it's goodfor him to see that both of his
parents have a really good workethic, um.
But you know we're looking atit as the the trainings that
justin's trying to get throughover this past year will get him
(31:51):
this certification where he'sgoing to deploy.
And so he's not going to have toleave as often in the future if
he gets it all done now.
Oh, controversial, because Ithink a lot of people are like,
oh, but you're missing out onall the young, you know
milestones and things.
But I mean, he could very wellbe missing out on milestones
(32:11):
when he's older too.
So I think it's just kind ofyou gotta bite the bullet now,
yeah, and then the.
The big obstacle that we'reprepping for now is once he
finally starts deploying withthe state.
You know there are a lot ofbenefits for us as a family with
that, but one of the biggestdrawbacks is he'll be gone
(32:34):
anywhere from 14 to 20 somethingdays at a time.
Um may not have self-service,you know, if california has
wildfires and then go deploy, orif he's just back in east texas
for some um, wildland fires orsomething.
It just kind of depends wherethey send them.
But you never really know whatthe circumstances are going to
(32:57):
be and that's going to be reallytough on Cole and me having to
adjust my schedule and step inand manage everything while
Justin's gone and I don't havethat extra support.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Yeah, Um.
So how has your faith played apart in this?
Speaker 3 (33:16):
Oh yeah, I do more praying nowadays than I think I
have ever done and really I havetried to really center in my
first.
My first reaction is to mull itover and really spend time in
prayer and looking fordiscernment and reflection,
(33:39):
before you know making largedecisions before freaking out on
justin when you know I forgotto put that he's going out of
town for a week on the calendarand then I have work things and
I'm like I can't get out of myobligations too, like neither
one of our jobs are moreimportant than the other.
Um, and so how do we manage that?
(34:01):
Just a lot of prayer, comingtogether, praying together and
saying this is how we need tolead our family.
This is what we're called to do.
This is going to be the bestdecision for us, best decision
for Cole, our son, and you know,really staying rooted in that
faith.
(34:21):
I think that's grown usincredibly, especially since we
moved to West Texas, because wereally were not leading in our
faith before we moved here, andnow it really is a pillar.
I just am amazed because I seeJustin really openly talking to
Cole about faith and who God is,and you know what our beliefs
(34:45):
are as a family and it is justso encouraging.
That's so sweet.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
I'm like, oh okay, I'm just all in center and just
say, oh, that doesn't get usanywhere in this thing, yeah,
but earlier you talked about avillage.
How important is a village andwhat does your village look like
?
Because you, I do feel, feellike I don't want to say, lucked
up, but you have what?
Speaker 3 (35:11):
yeah, you have a pretty solid village there so
all of my family is still inEast Texas.
We're actually about to go thisnext week to go see them.
We definitely don't see themoften enough.
Um, and while we lived in easttexas when I first had my son, I
was like, oh, we got it.
Like, I have my mom, I'm agrandmother, I have two um
(35:33):
brothers that would beincredible babysitters.
Um, I have my little sister whois going to grow up with cole
and all of the things.
I have best friends.
We have really good friendcouples who, you know, are
eventually going to have kidstoo.
They're going to be aroundclose age and all of those
dynamics.
But then we moved.
(35:54):
Um, and that is one of thebiggest scares that I had when
we moved is I'm not going toknow anyone and really why it
didn't work when we got here,because what am I going to?
do Like I don't know any ofthese daycares.
I don't.
I don't even know, really, like, what the town's gonna be like,
because I didn't spend any timehere before we just moved um,
(36:17):
so I don't know any daycares.
I don't know where I'mcomfortable having him placed.
Do I want someone else kind ofraising them for me, or do I
want to do that myself?
And you know, there's all thesequestions that we were asking
and we went through a lot ofdaycares.
Yeah, I remember being on theoh you were there for the
(36:38):
struggle.
Lots of tears, lots of hard days, big adjustments for Cole, and
he was just going through phases.
You know kids go through abinding phase and you know they
figure out how to work withother kids, especially being an
only child.
So it just got to the pointwhere daycare was not an option
(37:00):
for us, and so I thankfully havea very flexible job that has
tons of other working mothersand they completely understand
the situation, and so for awhile it was good for me to be
able to pick up the slack,because obviously Justin doesn't
have a job where I mean that'spatient abandonment.
He can't just leave and comehome.
Yeah, I'm like I'm a charge.
(37:20):
Is that how I charge?
Yeah, yeah, he can't be doingthat.
So by default I have to be theone who has to give the slack
and pick him up if he has toleave early one day or whatever.
If I have to stay home with himhe's sick, any of the things,
doctor's appointments, the wholenine yards.
So we quickly figured outdaycare was not going to be an
(37:42):
option.
He wasn't old enough just yetto go to kindergarten or to any
of the pre-k programs that weregoing to work with.
You know our schedule, um, andso we convinced.
Well, my brother moved out hereto work with justin's.
They work at the same firedepartment.
They are on different shifts,which is just chef's kiss.
(38:04):
Amazing, because that means Ialways have at least one of them
that's home, unless you know,they pick up some overtime on
the same shift or whatever, butI always have at least one of
them that I can call like oh man, my, my tire, I need somebody
to come change.
I mean that happens.
So, yes, or hey, I have this.
Can you help me with X, y, z?
(38:26):
So my brother who moved outhere he works with Justin, but
he also brought his girlfriendwho has a background in child
care.
She is the best, shelby Steele.
If you need a babysitter, ifyou need a nanny, she, I would
(38:46):
100 recommend her.
She is the best.
We went from cole not knowingabcs one, two, threes, like
hardly anything.
He can write his name.
Now he knows his alphabet, hecan count to like 30.
I mean, he comes home and talksabout animals.
I'm like, how do you even knowwhat this is like?
(39:10):
I've never heard you talk aboutthat.
So he, she has been such ablessing.
We're so thankful to have herin our village.
Yeah, and then you know we havejust culminated all of these
friends and since a community,since we've been here, you are
such a huge part of that andcole knows he's like I want to.
(39:32):
I want to talk to miss yannimiss yanni's gonna be there.
I want to go um, yes, even ummonica and aaron that I work
with in my office.
You know he'll come up here.
Just don't bring him up duringthe day.
And they know him.
And you know just so manypeople that I know.
In a pinch, if I really neededto call on them, they would be
(39:54):
there.
Just give me a car seat?
Speaker 2 (39:56):
yes, definitely don't have a car seat.
Yes, if you tell me what thatis, we can make it right, we can
figure it out.
Speaker 3 (40:01):
Yes, but there are so many people that I would now
trust.
With cole, yeah, they're a partof the village.
I want him to know them, I wanthim to have a relationship with
them and, you know, I want himto be a part of his life yeah, I
think that's really cool.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
I had my aunt on last week and she was talking about
the same thing, how, um, havinga village, it just plays a huge
role, and I mentioned then I waslike, yeah, villages are, are
great, I mean needed for surefor kids.
But I'll be honest, I, I havemy village and you know, I
personally I'm like, yeah, Ithink, whether you have a kid,
(40:38):
um, or I guess, maybe a villagefor the kid and a village for
you personally yes, yeah, makesa difference.
Oh, yeah, because I mean, wehave bad days, down days, good
days in between days.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
Right, well, and even me just being able to call you
and like soundboard like, oh mygosh, you're not going to
believe this.
Yeah.
I mean, and just how good Ifeel after being able to tell
someone who's not involved inthe situation and say this
happened.
This is how I feel about it.
Okay, now let me go fix it.
I just needed you to listen tome for like a second.
Yeah, I mean, and that's sopowerful.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
I think one of the sweetest moments that I would
never forget in my friendship isyou were having a bad day.
A lot of those, no, but youwere having a bad day.
I don't know if you werealready at the chamber.
I don't know why I'm gettingready to cry.
I don't know if you're alreadyat the chamber, but you came by
and I said you know what, don'tworry about it, let's just pray.
Yes, I remember that day andwell, I don't think you listen
to my podcast anyway, but Idefinitely disappeared from the
(41:40):
chamber for 2.5 seconds and wentdown and prayed and I was like,
I was like, okay, I was like Ihope that I was like lord you
know, I hope you hear my prayersand I can hear that for her.
But I don't remember what thesituation was.
Speaker 3 (41:52):
But I don't either.
I don't remember, but no, Ijust remember that moment.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
I think that's one that I will um definitely, oh,
besides um church, oh, that too,yeah, that too I'm a crier, I
guess anybody.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
I guess there's a couple.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
And then also when aaron and I got married and cole
came down by himself to give mea hug.
Um, it's actually, we have adigital camera, a digital, not
camera like photo album.
Yeah and that's one of the onesthat loop through is, uh, me
and him.
So so yeah, wow, yeah well youknow I told you before we
recorded that I was gonna askyou to give words of
(42:29):
encouragement and I said it canbe about anything switching it
up on you, keeping you on yourfeet.
You know, I actually want youto give encouragement to, um, a
mother or a woman, because Imean, technically they don't
have any moms.
Um, that's listening, that is aspouse, a girlfriend, a mother,
(42:53):
a grandma.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
To a first responder let me tell you it's rough and
it doesn't get easier.
I mean, there's always newobstacles and things, but I I
just know from experience withJustin they love so fiercely and
they are such selfless people Imean so incredibly thankful for
(43:17):
them.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:19):
It creates a world of new obstacles and hurdles for
you, especially being um, newobstacles and hurdles for you,
especially being um the woman inthe life of a first responder
and then adding, like the mom ofthe family unit.
But it's not impossible andthere are so many more good
things that come from it.
(43:40):
Just think.
I know for me it sucks havingto rearrange plans.
You know we can't do Christmason Christmas Day, so how are we
still going to do Santa and allthe traditions and everything
with Cole?
And you know just all therearranging and planning and
preparation that it takes justfor him to go on shift.
(44:01):
Does he have everything washedand packed and everything that
he needs, and what is he goingto be seeing for the next 48
hours?
But what I'm learning as cole'sgetting older?
He admires justin so much andjustin is teaching him so many
incredible values that I'm gladhe's getting that he wouldn't
(44:23):
have gotten if he wasn't in afirst responder family.
So just compassion for others,um, you know, really doing
selfless work and having apassion for it, um, how to be
considerate of others andcognizant of other people in
different situations.
We're constantly telling ColeCole, you know, not everybody
(44:47):
has what you have and so reallybeing grateful for that, and how
to talk to other kids you know,kids who are displaced from
fires or, you know, have lost aparent because of something that
Justin would have run on in acall at work.
He is so much more easily ableto talk to Cole about things
(45:11):
like that, which are soimportant, that I can't do yeah,
um, I'm just not comfortabledoing it.
It's not something I see everyday in work and so the values
and things that he's bringingare well worth.
You know, having to go throughall the extra hurdles and
milestones and it makes himbeing home for um, all the
(45:32):
celebrations and you knowmoments, birthdays, anniversary
times that much more special.
Um, yeah, I mean, uh, Icouldn't have picked a better
one.
He's just just great.
So I think the payoff andreally what are you getting in a
first responder family?
Speaker 2 (45:52):
all the important and incredible things that your
spouse is doing for your familyum, yeah, wow, you know I'm
sitting here thinking I guess Iobviously, since I met you, I've
known that justin has been likehe's a firefighter, but I don't
think I've ever like fully satand processed him like really
(46:14):
being like gone for one.
I mean, I know he's gone, butlike fully sat with it, yeah,
and what it may be like, likeyou know, in your, your shoes
yeah, and honestly it's a littlebetter now because he's he he's
on the 4896.
Speaker 3 (46:28):
They do shift change at 10 AM so for him to drive to
the station he leaves by 8 AM.
So reasonably during the weekwe can wake up with them and see
them out the door and you knowwe're up when he comes home and
he has enough days where hedoesn't just want to sleep for a
full day and then go back intowork.
He has some some actual timeoff with us.
Used to um, when we lived ineast texas he worked for a fire
(46:51):
department but he alsovolunteered at a local volunteer
department another level ofcommitment right now oh my gosh,
let me tell you we slept with ascanner or page or whatever, I
don't even know beside our bedand that was.
If you're a first responder wife, you know that is the bane of
(47:11):
your existence, because thatthing will go off at 2 am.
This man, I've never seen himget dressed faster than when a
call drops.
He is out of bed, he's got hisstuff on, he is in his truck and
he is going to help a person hedoesn't even know.
He doesn't even know, yeah, andhe's just throwing himself out
there middle of the night or anytime of day and dropping what
(47:34):
he's doing to go help someoneelse.
Yeah, now we don't do all thatanymore.
He doesn't volunteer anymorebecause he's uh, he's working
out here.
But yeah, it's wild, it's awild lifestyle.
It's not not conducive foreveryone, but it's a really
special thing, wow well, isthere anything else that I might
(47:58):
have left off?
Speaker 2 (47:59):
um, about your journey or um, I guess, being a
first responders wife and allthat, anything that I we didn't
talk about, that you felt likeis important I think that pretty
well covers it.
Speaker 3 (48:10):
You know, pray, pray for those first responders, but
be praying for those firstresponders.
Families too, um, especiallyespecially those who are not
always coming back from work.
Yeah, I could not imagine.
Obviously, it's always a riskwith Justin going to work, but
(48:33):
it's very hard for me to imaginehim not returning from work
ever.
And so that is something thatthese families, and especially
these wives, kind of always havelooming over them.
Maybe it's not always in theforefront of their mind, but
that's a struggle that they,that is, realistically in their
life.
You know, what if somethinghappens?
(48:53):
Um, and so I I always keepthose families especially in my
prayers keep that in mind.
Speaker 2 (49:01):
Add that to my prayer list, for sure.
Um so one.
Actually, I have two questionsfor you, but I'm going to ask
this one first, what do youstand for?
I know man a lot.
Give it to me.
Give it, what is it?
Speaker 3 (49:18):
Give some grace.
Overflow with the grace.
You can't give enough grace.
You don't know what otherpeople are going through and if
they're just having a bad day.
And I'm not good at this, I amnot good at giving people grace
and it is something that I'mconstantly working on, but it's
something that I I really wantto do and I do try to work on.
(49:41):
You don't know what is going onwith anyone.
You don't know what that personneeds.
You don't know what they'restruggling with.
Just give.
You don't know what that personneeds.
You don't know what they'restruggling with.
Just give some grace.
We are all just humans.
We are all trying to figure itout.
Nobody knows what they're doing.
Yeah, just help everybody along.
Speaker 2 (49:56):
That is true.
Speaker 3 (49:57):
We're all just trying to make it.
Speaker 2 (49:58):
I tell you about a time I'm like now you, God, woke
you up this morning.
Speaker 3 (50:09):
And God is up this morning and god is giving you
grace.
Yes, on a probably hourly basis, if not.
Yes, and especially those othermoms that you're out there
judging.
Oh, since we're talking aboutmother's day, yeah, and I'm
guilty of it too.
I am not perfect, but I reallydo, more often now that my son
is a little bit older and he isa handful, and we go to target
and he's losing his mind overthese toys, and then I see other
(50:31):
moms and I'm like it's okay,girl, I know those days.
I know those days.
I have them too.
You're just trying to make it.
I'm not faulting you for yourchoices, I get it.
Speaker 2 (50:40):
Yeah, I get it yeah, I mean I, that's actually really
great.
Grace has definitely neededmore.
So my last question for you is,with firefighting being kind of
in the blood if Cole gets olderand says you know, hey Mom, hey
Dad, this is, you know, this iswhat I want to do.
Speaker 3 (50:59):
Yeah, I think when I first got with Justin, that was
a concern.
If we ever had kids, I'm likelike I don't know how I'd react,
because not only is it now myhusband, now I run the risk of
something happening to my son,to him being in a dangerous
situation.
Um, I know he, as of right now,he's four, so obviously there's
(51:22):
a lot of time for him to changehis mind and figure it out but?
But he definitely.
He's all about it.
He thinks that way.
He loves to play firefighting,he wants to dress up, he wants
to know everything his dad isdoing.
He knows all the differenttrucks, he's about it.
So there's a good chance.
You know, he'll be fifthgeneration.
That'll be really special forthem to share that.
(51:42):
I think I'm prepped for it.
But there is that little bit ofme that's like you can go to be
a doctor.
Speaker 2 (51:50):
Yes, you still save lives, yeah, yeah I don't know.
I was looking at that pictureand I was like dang I don't
think I've ever asked her thatwhat?
Speaker 3 (51:57):
would you justin and I've talked about it several
times and in the beginning hewas like no, he's gonna be a
fireman there is no ifs, ands orbuts about it, like that's what
he needs to do.
And so now you know, we'regrowing, we're maturing, we're
getting a little bit older andhe's, he's come around to the
idea maybe, if that's not whathe's into, it'll be okay yeah
(52:19):
because at that point what callsfor?
Speaker 2 (52:21):
she got at least 14 years.
How many years has uh justinbeen with reese county?
Speaker 3 (52:27):
since we moved here, so about three years now.
So that'll be.
But he's been volunteeringsince he was in high school,
like 17 years being afirefighter.
Speaker 2 (52:36):
What's, what's the?
How long?
How?
How long can he be a firemanuntil you don't want to be one
anymore?
I guess how does?
Speaker 3 (52:42):
that work?
Not exactly sure.
I just know my husband's gonnabe doing it till they tell him
to go home and he can't do itanymore.
Speaker 2 (52:47):
So you, have to get.
Um, yeah, just in a side hobby,hit you with a coffin or
something.
Right, goodness gracious.
Well, thank you again forcoming on and sharing your story
as co's mom.
For those that are listening,just remember that you are loved
(53:09):
, you are needed, you are wanted.
God has a plan for your life.
Like Savannah said, pray it out, you don't know.
Pray you know.
Pray you feel lost.
Pray you feel found.
Speaker 3 (53:22):
Pray, whatever it is just pray.
Speaker 2 (53:26):
I know for Aaron and I we typically try to start our
mornings with prayer togetherand then we end the night with
prayer together.
So usually whoever does morning, the other person does the
evening, and I just feel like italso.
It's made a huge differencepersonally, but also as us as a
couple as well.
So, yeah, that was great advice.
So just make sure you pray thatthing out.
And that's it, and I this onewe dropped right before mother's
(53:50):
day.
So I do want to tell all themothers, um, listening, happy
mother's day.
Um, and let's just be mindfulof the women that may be
listening.
Um, they may have lost theirlittle one.
Spray upay, lord Jesus, pray aspecial prayer for them.
(54:11):
I know this holiday is probablya hard one, so just keep them
in mind.
And with that I say bye.
Speaker 1 (54:19):
Thank you for listening to another episode of
Standing in your Truth withYanni.
And if no one told you today,you are loved, you are beautiful
, you are needed and you matter,be sure to follow on Facebook
at Standing in your TruthPodcast with Yanni.
Also on Instagram Talks withYanni.
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