April 3, 2025 • 55 mins
What happens when you stop trying to fix everyone and everything around you? In this deeply personal conversation, Cinda shares her transformative journey from an 18-year-old mother with limited horizons to becoming a respected community leader who's found her purpose in serving others.
"You can only do your part" – these six simple words changed everything for Cinda. After years of trying to control outcomes and fix situations beyond her influence, this realization freed her to focus solely on her responsibilities in each relationship, whether as a mother, wife, daughter, or community servant. The wisdom she shares about boundaries, self-acceptance, and personal growth resonates with anyone who's ever felt trapped by their own expectations.
One pivotal moment stands out in her story: receiving a food assistance box during a difficult time that was filled with expired and unfamiliar items. Rather than just feeling disappointed, this experience sparked her calling to ensure others wouldn't face the same situation. This led her down an unexpected career path from restaurant work to nonprofit leadership, all without the college degree she once thought was required.
What makes this episode especially powerful is Cinda's concept of "falling up" instead of down. Each setback became a stepping stone that ultimately elevated her to places she never imagined possible. Her authenticity shines through as she discusses learning that "no" is a complete sentence, embracing her true self (glitter and all), and finding the confidence to pursue goals independently.
Whether you're struggling with boundaries, feeling limited by your past, or simply trying to understand your purpose, Cinda's story offers both practical wisdom and inspiring hope. As she reminds us, "Be the social caterpillar or the big butterfly or a little ant on a hill, whichever one you want to be... just don't be afraid to be yourself."
Standing In Your Truth Podcast with Yanni Thomas
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
family and friends, having open-ended discussions on
anything from faith, finances,relationships and how to stay
motivated during life's tryingtimes.
Make sure to follow on allsocial media platforms.
The social media link is in thebio.
Sit back and get ready to enjoy.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of
Standing In your Truth Podcast.
I am your host, yanni.
How is everyone doing?
During the time of recordingthis, we are, I was going to say
, smack dead in the middle, butwe're not technically in the
middle.
We're kind of at the beginningof spring break, so it's hot
(00:43):
outside, but it's cold in themorning.
Doesn't make any sense to me.
I don't know what outfit towear.
But that's life, um, but anyway, life's going good.
So I have yet another guestwoohoo to me, um for the series
um, life models.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
So I'm gonna, so I'm going to let her introduce
herself, hello hello, my name isCinda and I am a mom and a wife
and a daughter and lots oftitles.
I'm also the volunteercoordinator at Meals on Wheels
of Odessa.
Shameless plug Come volunteer.
(01:21):
Two-way street there Helpsother people and it helps you
back.
It's good for the soul.
So that's me.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
That's a good elevated speech Because I feel
like definitely serving is goodfor the soul, absolutely.
I always tell people that'skind of what helped me when I
was going for my divorce and allthat Moving out here and
getting to plug in the communitymade a difference.
Yeah, hey, hit up Cinda.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
I gotta say and that's how we met yeah,
literally is it that, or whitepeel yeah, serving together in
different places.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
That is true.
Yep, oh, I didn't even thinkabout that yes, ma'am see, make
new friends.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
I'm like wait, I didn't even think about that,
you.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
You're right.
All right, so we're going to gowith our usual questions, so I
should say house questions, butthe first one is what motivates
you?
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Hands down my children.
They are my biggest motivator.
I guess you know a lot ofpeople say they want to live
vicariously through theirchildren.
I absolutely do not.
I want them to soar pastanything I could ever be, so I
just Everything I do.
I know that they're watching, Iknow that they're listening and
(02:34):
I just I want to do everythingfor them, for them to see, for
them to learn, and I always tellthem learn from your own
mistakes, but learn more fromother people's mistakes,
especially mine.
I will tell them my bad storiesand I'm like, yeah, don't do
that no, I would definitely saythat's one thing about you,
(02:57):
especially now this season.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
You're in currently, but cinda is a hands-on mom in a
good way, like she's on thetrips, she's doing the things
with her kiddos um, always,always enjoy.
Looking at the pictures thatyou post, I'm like, oh, look at
them traveling with the band.
I think is usually when you,where you guys, are traveling.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
My daughter, got out of band, but my son is still in
choir.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
He's senior year but I did just yep, she's out of
band.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
She's now in athletic stuff she got into uh, she's a
sports trainer one of theathletic trainers, yep.
And she got into medicalterminology, oh, and decided she
wants to be in the medicalfield, maybe like a physical
therapist okay, and so she hascompletely done 180 and she's so
happy with that change and I amtoo.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
I can see it in her wow so we have, um, I have a
cousin that's a oh, I hope I getthese titles right.
Logic occupational therapistokay, for the school district oh
, cool, um.
And then I have a, a.
Her husband is a physicaltherapist cool, I think.
If not, there's something closeto that, I think that's right,
(04:04):
nice, yeah.
So if you have any questions, Ican always have someone come
and talk to her, at least forAlicia for sure, if she wants to
continue up.
Okay, cool, for sure.
Okay, how do you protect yourmental health?
Speaker 3 (04:21):
I have to protect my mental health by realizing I
can't do everything in a day.
That's a bomb right there.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
You should repeat that one more time I can't do
everything in a day.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Yeah, if I mess up, most likely I can fix it.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
And you know, god willing, I have another day
tomorrow, so I can just work onit.
I always tell my kids, badmoments are just bad moments not
a bad life.
So if something happens, it'sjust like okay we can stop the
podcast right there.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
I'm like I know that's not your life motto, but
I mean, I think you forgetsometimes that, like, bad
moments are bad moments andthey're not your life.
I tell people that somethinglike don't allow whatever
happened also to become likeyour identity exactly like no,
that's just a chapter.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Yeah, do not sit in it.
That's.
That's a big thing that Ireally try to.
When I'm in, when I'm in a badmoment, I have to really catch
myself in it and make the effortto get out of it.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Yeah, so yeah I say it's okay, it's okay to not be
okay, but what are you gonna doabout it?
Yeah same thing pretty much,which is very mind-blowing.
Simple things.
Mindset right and how you thinkmakes a difference.
What advice would would yougive your younger so?
Speaker 3 (05:43):
I would absolutely tell my younger self to think
bigger, mmm, because I just Idid not.
I didn't have anybody to helpme think bigger and I just wish
I would have.
Like I have so manyconversations with my daughter
who's 16 and it's like in themiddle of the conversation I
(06:07):
just catch myself thinking likeI wish somebody and I tell her
out loud I'm like I wishsomebody would have had this
conversation with me when I wasa kid To tell me, try and do and
, you know, have the failuresand grow from them, and but at
least try and helping me tolearn and think about different
(06:28):
opportunities.
I, I was in a well, I was astay-at-home mom for many years
and then when I found mydaughter, started preschool, I
started working again and I justdid food and I don't know why.
It was like in my mindset, likeyes, I graduated from high
school, but I graduated.
(06:49):
I was four months pregnant.
I graduated with him, fourmonths pregnant, walked the
stage About a month later, twomonths later, here comes my son,
premature baby, so 18-year-old,special needs mom, and it was a
very isolating life and adifficult life and lots of
(07:15):
learning curves, lots ofchallenges, and I just felt so
limited and like in hindsight,it's like I feel bad for her
because I didn't have thatexpanded mindset in any kind of
sense.
But I just remember once Ifinally started um, I mean, I
(07:36):
had my daughter a couple ofyears later, after my son and,
like I said, when she startedpreschool, I went back to work
and and it was like I just wentinto food, thinking like, well,
I just graduated high school,I've been home with my kids for
a good few years since then andI just had this very limited
mindset of, and belittlingmindset of like oh yeah, you
(07:59):
know, this is all I can do.
I don't have work experiencebecause I haven't been in the
workforce for a long time.
The only previous actual job Ihad done was a telemarketer when
I was 16 years old for a coupleyears, until shortly before I
had my son.
(08:20):
So, and then after I had my, mykids, when they were small, I
would go volunteer.
That was, uh, the outlet I hadand how I made friends and how I
helped myself without knowingat the time and so, but I didn't
count on that experience, Ijust did it and I tell people
now I'm like, volunteering, nomatter what you're doing, that
(08:42):
is that is work experience.
Yes, but at that time I did notknow that.
Yes, and so here I was, puttingmyself down and belittling
myself to working at Denny'sovernights, weekends, dealing
with drunk people.
Yeah, crazy time.
But thankfully somebody saw mywork ethic and they pulled me up
and I went to a betterrestaurant.
(09:03):
And then somebody pulled me upbecause they noticed me from
there and I went to the OdessaCountry Club, worked there for
about seven years and I wasdoing really well.
Um, I was, without evenrealizing it at the time, I was
networking.
I didn't know.
I mean, I was just being myself, yeah, and talking to people,
and you know, making these, youknow very small, but still
(09:26):
making these connections.
I didn't even realize.
Well, it's funny now becausesomebody I met at that time is
now my boss.
Oh, really.
Yeah, that is wild.
Yeah, many years later.
But you know, I was there forseven years.
I missed out on holidays withmy kids because it was Mother's
(09:46):
Day required, thanksgivingrequired, easter required, and,
like my kids were small, Imissed out on so many holidays
with them and you know theirmotto.
There was like, well, you getto get home, you know, by 6
o'clock.
It's like my kids are in, youknow, preschool and elementary.
When I get home at that time Ito go home, shower, get ready if
(10:08):
we want to go eat at arestaurant or whatever you know
it's like by time you wait inline and get to eat and it's
it's already their bedtime yeahso it was such a such a long
time of wasted holidays andthings that I really regret.
But I I finally, like I said, Iwas still belittling myself,
(10:30):
putting putting my mindset towhere, like I'm doing good here,
but like this is kind of whereI am, like it is what it is,
kind of situation and I don'tknow what it was.
But I I really wanted I alwaysknow, knew that I wanted to help
people and I remember a girlthat I worked there with at the
(10:54):
country club had left and I sawher once.
She told me she was working atthe food bank and I was like I
don't want to work at the foodbank.
I was like I've always wantedto help people and I would want
to work at the food bank.
I was like I've always wantedto help people and I would love
to work at the food bank and Iwas like put in a good word for
me.
And I really don't think shetook me serious because she was
kind of like on her way to youknow, eat with friends.
(11:15):
She's like, oh, okay, cool, youknow, whatever.
So, fast forward a couple moreyears and I saw her boss more
years, and I saw her boss andshe had given a speech there at
the country club and she wasjust kind of talking about all
the things they did at the foodbank and I was like man, I mean,
I was just in awe.
Yeah, I was supposed to becleaning the room and I was
(11:36):
standing to the side listeningto the speech, and so when she
finished I approached her andsaid hi, and I was like I really
want to work at the food bank.
I've always wanted to helppeople she was like yeah and
exactly, and that was both forme very bold at the time and she
was like well, we don't haveanything open at the moment, but
(11:58):
if anything ever does becomeopen, we can definitely reach
out to you, because she knewpeople I knew yeah and I was
like, okay, so I kind of tookher half serious.
And then I I put myself down inthe same moment and I told her
verbally I said the only thingis I don't have a college degree
or anything.
And I remember, like it wassuch a moment that I remember it
(12:23):
, like she looked at me kind ofconfused and she goes well, why
would that matter?
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
And it was like it, to me it mattered so much
because I thought that was anecessary stepping block.
Yeah, and she looked at meshe's like that doesn't matter.
She's like we have a lot ofpositions that don't require a
college degree or anything.
Yeah, and it was like we have alot of positions that don't
require a college degree oranything.
Yeah, and it was like somind-blowing for me because I'm
like wait, what?
Like I can work there and Idon't have to go to college.
(12:52):
And it was just the food bank.
I don't know why.
I had it in my mind, yeah, andso fast forward about three
months, and here comes a message.
Hey, you know, they reached outto me.
They told me from the food bankthat you want to work here and
we have a spot open and it'syours if you want it, um, come
and apply oh, wow I mean thatthankfully, you know, without
(13:16):
bragging in any kind of sense.
Thankfully, my work ethic hasalways been very strong.
Yeah, enough to pull me fromjob to job to job.
So I never, thankfully, had toapply for a lot of jobs, it was
more like the standard like heyformality.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
I guess you could say so I did.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
I went in and filled out the application and did all
the things and I got the job,worked at the food bank for
about a year and a half and thenwork ethics spoke for itself
again, I guess.
And now I got pulled into meals.
And well, it's been therealmost three years now, which
doesn't even seem like it.
But all that to say, I wish Icould just tell myself younger,
(13:56):
think bigger.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Try like go for the goal, because I don't know why I
was stuck in my head for solong thinking I couldn't work
somewhere else without a degreeor something.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
I'm going to be completely honest with you.
I've had that mindset ReallyPlenty of times, and I think
that I wouldn't say the onlyreason, but that's one of the
reasons why I have held, held onto the idea of, like, I need a
college degree, which, don't getme wrong, I mean, I feel like
it's good to have one, um, anddoes open up some doors, but
(14:34):
doesn't open up all the doors.
Glad to believe that, like,wherever the lord wants you,
he's going to put you atabsolutely whatever's meant to
be what happened, um, so butyeah well plot twist whenever I
started working at the food bank, my whole life changed as far
as my availability.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
I got to spend the holidays with my kids.
I actually had too manyholidays.
I didn't even know what to dowith my days off anymore.
The funniest thing was my firstholiday off was thanksgiving
and I was so excited to have aholiday off after so many years
of working them without beingrequired to.
I actually invited, like all myfamily and friends, to my house
(15:14):
.
I had like 35 people I fedeverybody and I caught myself
pouring refills and I'm like I'mworking.
So I got so mad at myself and Iwas like okay, I'm not doing
that again.
She's like we're not hereanymore.
But the plot twist is Iactually did start going to
college when I started workingat the food bank, just because,
(15:34):
and I finally graduated lastyear and got my associates in.
So yeah, I'm excited.
And the funny thing is, it wasjust because I don't need it per
se.
So you know, I already had myjob before I had my degree.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
So yeah, Definitely think bigger.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
I get it, but it's the idea of also having someone
to help challenge you in yourthinking.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
I think, for me.
So I'm a part of big brothers,big sisters, so I have a little
um which who's the cutest, bythe way?
And I often like I tell myself,okay, yanni, what are you like?
I think, what are you going totell her, what are you pouring
into her?
And, like this season, I'm justreminding her like, hey, we
don't chase friends.
Good, you don't change.
(16:22):
Yes, be yourself.
Because, also, to be remindedthat, like in this current
moment, she's in fifth grade, ifI start pulling all this stuff
into her that I learned over myadulthood, she's gonna make I'm
crazy, right, it's gonna be ableto process it.
So I meet her where she's at.
So she's telling me what'shappening.
Let me tell you the biggerscope of what's happening.
Yeah, but it does allow me to,because currently we don't have
(16:42):
kids, but, um, it does allow meto, you know, kind of build a
little one up, even though, ifI'm being honest, I've been
around kids for a minute, soprobably maybe I've been making
a difference, hopefully.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
I love that.
I actually want to be.
I've been trying to get to be apart of it.
It's just timing because I wasin college.
Now my son's a senior, so I'mthinking, after he graduates
this year, I'm going to do itand step in.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I will tell you, I think the hardest part of the
whole process is the initialfilling out the background check
and they have to interview you.
But once you get over thathurdle and get through all that,
you see your kid depending upon45 minutes a week or if not, I
think it's like two or threehours a month.
If you do the community one, ohcool, it's not a huge
commitment.
(17:24):
In the community one, literallyyou can go pick your kid up and
go play at synergy and hang outand take a bath.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Yeah, like it's not, but you do have that but I do
because of you know the thingswe're talking about.
I want to teach kids to thinkbigger because, like I said, I
didn't have any.
I know I was loved but nobodywas giving me that value.
I'm like, hey, you know you cando this and yeah, and I noticed
this skill on you and youshould, you know, grow on that
(17:49):
and things like that.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
So it's definitely want to share that yeah, I love
that, though I have so manyfollow-up questions, but I'm
gonna save it till the end.
Okay, I like I literally wrotemyself a note okay.
So, before we get into yourlife model, I have one more
question for you.
What is your mindset when youare told no or the door shuts?
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Look for the window, look for another door.
I mean, there's alwaysdifferent ways to do things.
I don't know, I'm a fixer, yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
I should think I gave that up, no longer me.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Yeah, but it's just I mean mean, and not just like in
people, but just like in ingeneral.
You know, I don't know.
So it's like if you can't dothings a certain way or one way,
the door closes, like, figureout a different way, how to go
around it, try again.
I don't know, maybe you justneed a different key to the same
door, I don't know.
Yeah, but yeah just doesn'talways mean that things are over
(18:48):
I mean, that's definitely true.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
All right, so drum roll.
What is your life motto for us?
You can only do your part whenyou said that earlier, I was
like why does that sound sosimple, but yet so life-changing
?
Yes?
So what exactly does that mean?
Speaker 3 (19:12):
so that is something that I had to learn the hard way
.
Unfortunately, a lot of thethings I've learned in my life,
um, I had to learn the hard wayand so now you know like I, I
teach my kids everything that Ican.
But I just noticed that I wasalways trying to be a fixer in
people.
(19:32):
Like I said, I've always beentrying to, you know, try to
misfix it, and so I wanted tofix me and you and them and
everybody around me.
And you know, it's just thatperfectionism and stuff like
that and it's like at some pointI don't even realize what was
(19:53):
the breaking point for that, butI just realized that it was you
can't fix everything, you can'tdo everything.
You can only do your part, andthat's just.
I don't know.
I really learned that if I wantto fix, let's say, a
(20:14):
relationship, you can't fix therelationship by yourself.
You can fix you and you can fixyour part, but the other person
has to do their part.
That is definitely a meet inthe middle situation and, just
like I was telling my daughterthe other day, relationships
when you think about the word,majority of the time most people
(20:34):
think of a man and a woman, awife, a husband, a boyfriend,
girlfriend, type of situation.
But I told her, I said you havea relationship with everybody
in your life.
I said mother and daughter, wehave a relationship, brother and
sister, that's a relationshipwith everybody in your life.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
I said mother and daughter.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
We have a relationship Brother and sister,
that's a relationship.
A teacher and student that is arelationship.
I said all of those arerelationships.
You have to figure out how todo your part in each of those
relationships.
And she was asking like what doyou mean?
And I said, okay, you're astudent.
I said a teacher-studentrelationship.
Your part in that relationshipis to be respectful, patient,
(21:13):
listen, you're there to learn.
I said if the teacher is ontheir part of the relationship
is to also be patient, you know,to teach you, to help you,
things like that.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
And so.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
I was trying to tell her in every relationship, you
have your part and that's allyou can do, so you can't force
anybody to do things that youwant, because you know if.
If that was the case, it's like, well, I want to do this and I
want them to do this, and youknow, but it just doesn't work
that way so you can only do yourpart.
(21:48):
It's like you know she, she's ateenager and she sees people she
likes.
It's like you, you want to justgo talk to them and think, oh,
I hope they like me back and Ihope we date and happy ever
after, happily, ever after,right.
But that's not how it works.
It's you got to approach them,you got to see, you know like,
oh hi, what's your name?
(22:08):
And then, and then that's yourpart, that is your effort.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Some people may not even be into it.
It's like, oh sorry, um, Igotta go, that you did your part
and that was their part, sothat that's all you can do.
In every relationship you thinkso, not just boy, girl, but in
every relationship period, youcan only do your part.
So I've had that, I've had tofigure that out and, like I said
(22:36):
, every relationship um withfamily and friends, and you know
like people you think are yourbest friends in the whole world
and it's let's go to the moviesand let's have dinner and
they're like I don't want to goanywhere.
Or you know I, you know you didyour part.
(23:00):
You put yourself out there andit's hard, but you know that's a
part of only doing your part aswell is facing rejection yeah
facing that pain and the hurtand all those bad things.
But then there's also good partsto it too, so you can have the,
(23:20):
you know the fulfillment ofdoing your part as far as like,
okay, I'm having struggles in myrelationship, I'm gonna go to
counseling.
Okay, I did my part, I did thework, I did the you know
whatever's needed, and so I likethat, like I really do like
(23:41):
that.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
So I have a question for you.
So when did you, or is there amoment when you were like, like,
the light bulb went off, or wasit just a time period in life
when you were like, dude, I canonly do my part, I cannot
control like was there, wasthere a certain moment, that
kind of?
Speaker 3 (23:59):
happened.
There's been a lot of differentmoments that I've had that um
again in different relationships, in my marriage and my
parenting and me being adaughter.
I've had that in a lot ofdifferent situations, but like
so one, there's this oneinstance in my life and it kind
(24:21):
of shaped me in a lot ofdifferent ways and it it's funny
because it put me I don't knowI like where I'm at because of
that moment.
But there's just a lot of waysthat that moment affected me.
And I remember my kids werevery small and I can't remember
exactly what the situation was.
I believe my husband had gotlaid off for a short time and we
(24:44):
had already started workingagain.
But you know, from paycheck topaycheck there was a little bit
of a you know a distance thereand so I've always been a miss
resource girl, like even as ateenager I used to get um all
the little teenage magazines andum Cosmopolitan and J-14 and
(25:05):
all this.
I was just J-14?
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Yes, so I With the posters.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Yes, my room was covered.
There was no free wall space.
Yeah, it was covered withJustin Timberlake and Backstreet
Boys and all the thingsCraziness, so yeah, anyway, well
, I remember having all thosemagazines.
Well, I remember having allthose magazines and when I was
probably about maybe 14, 15years old, I remember I was
(25:32):
cleaning my room and themagazines they were just like
stacked up and I'm like, okay,this is a lot, I got to get rid
of it.
I got to get rid of some ofthese, and so it was like I had
them in my hand and I was like,okay, I need to throw them away.
But I couldn't do it, and so Iwas like I don't want to throw
them away without getting what Ineed out of them first.
So what I did it's funny I gotconstruction paper and I cut out
(25:57):
all the useful information,like information about what to
do when you have period crampsand what to do when you're sad
because you broke up with yourboyfriend and all the little
teenager problems right and so Iglued it all nice and neat in
this, in this construction papernotebook thing, and I put a
title on it just called the book.
(26:19):
And so I threw away all themagazines, kept all the
information from the articles,and it was funny because my
friends would come over andthey're like I'm so sad.
You know this, this, this andmy mom's driving me crazy and my
boyfriend broke up with me allthese stats and I was like you
know what, let's get you someadvice from my book and I would.
I would go through there that ishilarious yeah, so I was always
(26:40):
missed resource and so still tothis day, I have people calling
me like what do I do and whereI go, and I need this and I need
that.
So I'm like, okay, I got youand so I've always known my
resources pretty well.
And then so when my husband gotlaid off, you know there was
this, that short time period,and I remember we were low on
food and my kids were reallysmall, I think they were between
(27:02):
like two and four years old.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Oh yeah, Maybe.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
And so I just remember kind of looking in the
pantry and it's like I don'tknow what I can make for dinner,
Like we're going to need somegroceries, yeah, and I was the
one always telling everybodywhere to go in those scenarios.
But then it was me that Ineeded to be in that scenario
and so I was like, okay, I knowthat Catholic Charities gives
out a box of food.
(27:25):
So I went and signed up andeverything, and they gave me a
box of food, some meat orwhatever.
And I was like, okay, cool,Like you know, it was a big
thing to try to, you know, toget myself to that moment Like,
hey, I need some help.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
And so anyways.
But so I get the food and I gohome and I opened the box and I
just remember being sodisappointed and sad because it
was like things that I mean Iwas only like 20, 21, 22 years
old, something like that.
It was like lentils and cannedbeets and like these things that
I don't even know yeah and I'mlike what?
What is it, what?
How do I even make a meal forone?
(28:11):
And are my kids gonna like that?
Am I gonna like this?
yeah and so, on top of you know,not being able to know how to
make half the things or what tomake them with, then the other
half of the stuff was likeexpired by a couple of years,
and this was a long time ago sothis is absolutely in no kind of
(28:33):
way, any kind of just to docatholic charities.
You know, it may have just beena bad day or whatever it was, um
, but I just remember throwingaway half of the box, you know,
and it was like I don't, thiswas almost useless.
You know, like I use the meadand maybe one or two things from
the box, like corn and greenmeads or something like that,
(28:55):
but the rest of it I just Iwasn't able to use it and I just
remember being so sad, not onlyfor myself but for other people
, because we weren't in that badof a situation.
You know, it was like that onetime we needed a box but it just
really made me think of whatabout the other people who
depend on this box, like life ordeath depend on this box.
(29:18):
And I just remember having thatmoment of like I don't ever
want to be.
I don't ever want anybody elseto be in that type of situation.
I want to be the person who canhelp them.
I want to be the one to saylike hey, you need food, go here
go there they have.
You know they have good stufffor you or whatever.
(29:39):
That's where I where I reallygot the moment of like I want to
work at the food bank, I wantto work in nonprofit, I want to
work in places where I can helppeople and um.
So that was a big moment for meas far as just kind of shaping
who, who I wanted to be in thefuture.
That was kind of that firstmoment of like I want to be
(30:01):
something bigger than what I wasat the moment.
Um, but I just remember thatmoment because, like I said, it
made me think of myself, made methink of what I want for my
kids, made me think of what Iwant for other people, and so
there was really a strangeinstance.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
That was a defining moment for me that sounds like
it kind of helped you um realizeyour um purpose yeah and kind
of you know what god has, Iguess what god has you on you
know earth to do?
yes, you have a servant's heart,and kind of what angle and how
(30:40):
to use it.
So my next question for you andyou're going to be like, yeah,
this is not one of the ones youtold me about, but this is part
of what I wrote down here.
What's question for you?
And you're going to be likethis is not one of the ones you
told me about, but this is partof what I wrote down here.
What's next for you?
What is what's?
What's next for Cinda?
Speaker 3 (30:52):
You know, I thought about that recently, not too
long ago.
I was just kind of like, oh,wow.
You know, it's so crazy tothink back of what seems not
that long ago, even though Ilike, wow, I've been at meals
for three years.
It does not seem like that,yeah, um, because in my head
(31:13):
it's like, yeah, I, I just usedto work at the food bank, you
know a few years ago, and nowit's like that's so far in the
distance.
Now it's like man, it's.
It's been a while since I'vedone that, um, and then,
ironically, I still use thoseskills.
We're talking about ourupcoming fundraiser and stuff
like that and different thingswe have going on.
(31:33):
It's like, how are we going todo the chairs and how are you
going to do the tablecloths?
I'm like I got you, I know thisstuff I've done.
I kind of.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
I have an experience in that.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
I'm like I know all the banquet stuff and all that,
yeah, so anyway.
Um, but yeah, that goes back toyou.
Know all the banquet stuff andall that, yeah, so anyway.
But yeah, that goes back to you.
Know all your skills, you learnthey definitely.
You know volunteering or not,they go with you.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Use them.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
But anyways.
But yeah, I was just kind ofthinking of, like man, how crazy
to think I kind of went fromserving the rich to serving the
poor.
But I'm very, very thankful,very blessed, to be where I am
now and, to be honest, I haven'tthought too far ahead as far as
(32:16):
what else I want to do.
There's been moments, like whenI was in college, I had to do
several assignments where it waslike, you know, create your own
brand or create your ownnonprofit, you know what would
the purpose be and things likethat.
And I've had some ideas where,like you know, it would be
(32:39):
really cool to have a nonprofitthat does this and does that and
does that.
Um, but then I I've learned,also being, you know, a resource
girl, knowing what's out thereand learning what else is out
there, um, I've learned that alot of the non-profits over
overlap and you know a lot ofthem do some of the same things.
(33:00):
You know, same song, different,or I don't know.
I guess same song, differentdance, I don't know.
However you want to say it, butthey're kind of doing the same
thing, on a lot of levels, andso I've always thought about
adding some things in there thatyou don't typically see, or at
least not in our area.
So I have thought about that.
(33:23):
That would be a very big leap.
So I don't know.
It's something to consider.
So you never know, you mightsee me doing that, but I did go
to the SheCan conference lastweek or this week, I don't know.
Time's blurred Last week.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
I'm like I think.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
Yeah, last Thursday, and it's funny.
I think yeah, last Thursday,and it's funny I'm sitting there
.
I'm sitting there with MeganPowell, and so we're sitting
there and we're listening to thespeeches and a couple of the
speakers were up there and wewere just kind of admiring them
and I can't remember what shetold me and she's like they're
(34:08):
so great and she um, she wasjust saying something good about
them and I was like, don'tworry, megan, one day me and
you're gonna be the speakers outthere, like one day we're gonna
be the ones giving the advice,yeah, because I'm, I'm thinking
bigger now.
Yeah, I'm not putting myselfdown.
Yeah, um, you know, um, alongthe way with the whole, you know
(34:28):
, like I said earlier, tellingmyself as a little girl, think
bigger.
Yeah, I would want that formyself because I had a very low
self-esteem and I know thatthinking bigger would have
helped that as well, and so I'mvery thankful to say that.
You know, in no ways at all doI think I'm perfect, but my
self-esteem is definitely waybetter than it's ever been in my
(34:51):
life that's important yes, andit's.
it's those little things thathelp, things that you wouldn't
even think of.
You know, like getting a newjob and going just starting
college and then, especiallyfinishing college, and just you
know being invited to be on apodcast and you know whatever it
(35:13):
is, but yeah, just you knowbeing thought of and being just
you know hearing people just say, like, hey, cinda, I appreciate
you inviting me to this placeand hey, you know, I thought of
you today because of this, andit's like wow, and it's not
something that makes you, youknow, definitely stay humble,
(35:34):
it's not something that makesyou have a big head or anything.
It's just like you kind ofrealize what you said earlier.
You know like I'm fulfillingGod's purpose for my life.
I'm putting myself in the placesthat I need to be.
I'm allowing myself to be usedin the way that I'm supposed to
be used.
I like that.
(35:56):
I like feeling that, oh, I'm inthe right place at the right
time.
It's one thing my pastor alwaystells us at church Turn to one
person and say you're in theright place at the right time.
That's a true statement.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Most times, I remember that god's in the
details, yes, um, and that eventhe moments where it seems like
you're alone or, um, you don'thave it figured out, just
remember that you're not notalone.
Speaker 3 (36:24):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
He's right there, yeah, and he knows what your
tomorrow looks like.
You don't.
So what a better person to putyou know your life, like, give
him your life, yeah, he knows,you know he's the author, but
anyway, that's a whole otherLife looks a lot better.
Speaker 3 (36:43):
in hindsight I'll say that, oh, it's not true to life
looks a lot better.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
In hindsight I'll say that oh yeah, that's true,
because I mean, if I can like,even the last year and a half
for me looks totally differentyeah like I'm chilling that all
goes back to the what I saidearlier.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
You know, bad moments are not.
It does not mean a bad life andthat looking back in hindsight
is like the most beautifultestimony of that, because it's
like I remember sitting thereand thinking you know I am alone
, or whatever, and it's like Iwas never alone and looking back
and realizing that is I don'tknow.
(37:20):
It's such a beautifulrealization to know.
I love telling parts of mystory and just you know, even
about the food box it's like,like I said, we weren't in dire
need because God had us.
You know, there was biggerplans and so it's really awesome
to look back and just see God'sfingerprints, as some people
(37:41):
put it.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
So it's pretty cool.
But you also, I think, to be tosee, um, how present god has
been in your life.
I feel like you kind of have toI don't want to say be humble,
but you have to like get overyourself, oh, absolutely, and
like take a second and look backand be like whoa, that
(38:03):
definitely could have went thisway, but it went this way and
realized that had nothing to dowith you yeah because I feel
like some people.
They think, oh, you know, I, youknow, I may help myself get
through that absolutely and I'mlike yeah, okay, well I'm saying
right now I can count a bunchof times where I'm like that was
nothing but god yeah, yeah, wegotta definitely get out of our
own way yeah, that's anotherlife model.
(38:24):
Maybe I'll do more than oneepisode just saying okay, what
do you stand for?
Speaker 3 (38:34):
I stand for truth okay um, I'm very big on truth,
very big on morals, um highvalues.
I just lying makes me cringe.
Hearing lies make me cringe,but yeah, I just feel like you
(38:55):
know integrity and truth andhonesty.
It just gets you so far fartherthan you would think you know.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
Farther than that lie will.
Speaker 3 (39:06):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
Because you're gonna tell 12 lies for that one lie
you started off with exactly,and then remember exactly.
Speaker 3 (39:11):
Well, that's what I was thinking about.
Actually, when you're talkingabout, you know that you're with
a little, with the big brothers, big sisters, because what you
said, you know, telling a childto stay true to themselves is so
genuine and so pure, becausehaving kids who are trying to
fit in and force themselves intothese puzzles that they're not
(39:34):
a piece of like, no, homegirl,you do not belong there um, you
know that to me that's part ofthat truth.
And then genuine, leaning intowho you are, because I, I feel
like that's a big thing of youknow, figuring out who you are,
because if you're trying to like, well, my favorite color is
(39:57):
pink, but that's too bright andeverybody else is wearing black,
you know whatever I, I loveglitter.
I will wear all the glitter.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
I mean I always have yeah, I mean you'd be dazzled
right now.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
Yeah I see you, girl over there.
Yes, thank you, but I reallydid used to even be that person
who didn't want to wear brightcolors.
Yeah, you know, and it's like,why was I hiding myself?
You know what I think is cute Ithink is cute.
My daughter is a teenager andmy style and her style are not
(40:31):
the same in any kind of thesense, and so I would put on an
outfit and I'm like you like,and sometimes it's funny,
majority of the time she's likemom, you look good, you look
cute, you know, fit, chick, yes,ma'am, whatever.
But it's so funny becausethere's times that I put
something on.
I'm like, oh, I like this, andthen she's like, uh, no that.
I put something on and I'm like, oh, I like this, and then
she's like, uh, no, I don't likethat.
And I'm like that's why Ibought it, not you.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
So it kind of goes with the life model that I.
The episode that I recorded wasyou're not meant for everyone,
like, not every.
What is it?
Not everyone is your cup of tea, or you're not everyone's cup
of tea.
Whatever it is Both ways.
Yeah, I'm like, wait, wait,whatever, confused myself for .5
seconds, but you get the point.
Yes, but I feel like when Irecorded it it took me a minute
(41:16):
to get there.
That was not a like, automatic,like I didn't walk out like you
, like me, you don't.
Oh well, no, I was a fixer anda pleaser and a um would do and
all kind of stuff.
Like my hair color is yellow.
People ask me yellow why I'mlike?
Because that's what I like,like and then I also realized.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
Another one you don't know how to explain what you
like yes, not everyone deservesan explanation and no is a
sentence.
Yes, I was gonna say I learned,and that is funny because
they're I'm not gonna say my ageon this thing, but you know,
I'm 30 plus and so I'm 34 I'm alittle bit older okay my
(41:59):
birthday's next month, oh, butum anyway.
So I just recently learned andit's funny, because that's
another thing I would tellmyself as a little girl, I think
is never stop learning and well, not just me.
I mean, I would tell any childthat, honestly, like big brother
, big sister, like hold on untilI get there, because I'm fixing
(42:19):
to go in there and give me alittle yeah, but um, yes, I want
people, I want kids to know andpeople you know, it doesn't
matter your age, don't stoplearning.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (42:29):
Like oh I, my mom, used to get so mad at me all the
time as a teenager.
She would tell me something andI'd tell her I know now my
daughter does that, but my mom,she would always just say, stop
telling me that.
She would just tell me, no,don't say that I hate that, or
whatever.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
yeah, she never gave me an explanation of why not to
say it.
We ain't getting no explanation.
Speaker 3 (42:48):
We gotta totally do it, because I told you to do
exactly well, I explain thingsto my children as best as I can,
and so my daughter has donethat to me.
She's like, okay, mom, I know.
And I'm like, no, ma'am, youdon't know.
I'm telling you because youdon't know.
And if you know everything,that means you're done learning
and you're not done learning.
(43:09):
You can't say you know, youknow, I know to this that and
everything.
I'm like.
And if that was, if that's thecase, you don't need a mom, you
don't need a teacher yeah likeyou don't know everything.
Be open to learning things,because, like I said, I'm 30
plus and I'm still learningthings.
I barely learned no is acomplete sentence.
Ooh, that was a what.
(43:31):
What?
What is a sentence?
Speaker 2 (43:33):
You say run that back one more time.
Speaker 3 (43:34):
Yeah and yeah, yes is a complete sentence.
We can say that fine.
But no, is a complete sentenceis like no, I can, can't do that
but I also feel like that'spart of our like fixer, like
we're like yes I don't reallywant to tell you no.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
And if I do tell you no, I want to tell you why I'm
telling you.
Right well, now I'm like nah, Iain't doing that yeah, I don't
even give you a, no, I'll giveyou a.
Speaker 3 (43:56):
Nah, that ain't happening yeah, we don't have to
explain ourselves and, and youknow, if you want to be tactful,
you can, but you don't evenknow that to anybody.
You know, and I'm big onmanners, so I will be most
likely, but still, I'm not, I'mnot doing it.
Yeah, but but that um?
I recently started learningabout boundaries.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
Never knew about boundaries I'm just gonna save
you some time.
Speaker 3 (44:19):
Energy, mental space, yeah your life, yeah, all kinds
of things.
What?
I'm like what I'm just sayingbut yeah, that's a new one to me
too.
So never stop learning, be open.
Yeah, I'm also learning whatcodependency is.
That's a new one to me.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
I realize, I oh gosh yeah is.
this is where our friends, we'regoing.
I'm like, literally, I justtold Erin on I forgot what day,
one day last week, and I waslike I didn't realize that I'm
the person that's like don't goanywhere by yourself, I don't go
anywhere by myself, I alwayshave some.
Hey, do you want to go to thiswith me?
If they tell me no, then I'mmore than likely probably not
(44:59):
going.
Well, I signed myself up for aclass in Midland.
Going.
Well, I signed myself up for aclass in newton.
Speaker 3 (45:07):
Now is it the jacket one?
Speaker 2 (45:08):
yeah, you're going, yes, you're not going alone,
okay, okay, well, look see.
But I took the leap of faith.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
I did too, and signed myself up because I was like I
have my jacket design in my head.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
I hope they help you do it, because I can't draw
barely right, so stick fingers,yes, but yeah, that is so funny.
Okay, yeah, good to know, bsfun.
I'm so excited.
Now my deeper faith.
Thank you, jesus.
You knew that I was gonna do itby myself, but I was gonna be
struggling, but anyway, um Iforgot.
Speaker 3 (45:36):
I was saying that's what you learned how to go.
Oh, because I always like.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
I always like want someone with me.
I think it's like growing upwith a large family you always
have someone with you, um, andthen I have always had friends
that like were around and wantedto do stuff with me.
So that's what I'm used to,yeah.
But then I also realized thatthis season of my life, what I
want, what I'm into, um, some ofmy friends are, but also my
friends have lives.
(46:02):
I think just about all of myfriends are married with kids,
um, have full-time jobs.
So it's like, yeah, they may beinterested in it, but they also
just may not be available to doit.
Yeah and yeah and not takingthat personally, but that's real
life, yeah, and you know,keeping the relationship and
loving through it, but yeah, I'mso excited.
(46:24):
I think one of my other friendsI did tell her I don't know for
sure if she signed up or not,but yeah, I'm so excited.
Speaker 1 (46:29):
So I just made my whole.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
You don't understand.
Speaker 3 (46:33):
I'm excited for that too yeah yes, that's a skill I
want to.
I definitely want to lean intoyou know, but to speak on that
same matter, I had that samekind of epiphany in my life too,
because so my husband, um, he'sa homebody and I am I call
myself a social caterpillar.
That's about right because I amall in it sometimes and then
(46:57):
there's other times that I willkind of like oh, I could be
anti-social, oh yeah yeah, soI'm a social caterpillar yeah
with butterfly wings when Ichoose to wear is that how that
works?
Speaker 2 (47:07):
let me use that one, okay, I don't know.
That's what I call myself Ijust have good days and bad days
.
Speaker 3 (47:12):
Yeah, so she's not about that, but whatever.
But yeah, so I don't know, butI I just, and it's kind of the
same thing I grew up in a reallybig family and I was used to
everybody together all the timeI remember my husband, uh, our
first christmas, you know, wehad our son already and so he's
a baby.
And it's so funny because Iremember it was like christmas
(47:34):
morning and it was just him, youknow, the baby, him and my uh
excuse me me my husband and mybaby.
And, um, I'm getting ready andeverything.
And my husband's just sittingthere chilling, watching TV or
playing video games or whateverhe's doing, and I'm like looking
at him, like well, I don't takehim that long to get ready,
(47:55):
right, it takes me a lot longer.
And then the baby, and so I'mgetting everything ready.
And then I'm like almost ready.
And I'm like are you going toget ready?
And he's like for what?
And I'm like almost ready, andI'm like are you gonna get ready
?
And he's like for what?
And I'm like because it'sChristmas, and he's like and
like what does that mean?
I'm like we're gonna go visitfamily and he's like we're gonna
(48:16):
what?
He did not go, he stayed homeand I went to go visit my aunts,
my uncles, my cousins, mycousins.
And he has two sisters and a mom.
I have 19 first cousins just onmy mom's side alone.
Speaker 2 (48:31):
Yeah, so that's a lot of people yes.
Speaker 3 (48:35):
Just on my mom's side , my dad's side, I'm still
counting.
I still meet my dad's family allthe time.
I meet new people all the time.
That's crazy, but um, anyway.
So I, I have a big family andI'm used to that too.
And so I remember going aloneand I was like devastated.
Like I'm newly married, I havea new baby and like this is not
(48:59):
the happy ever after dream thatI look, yeah, this is not what
I'm picturing in my head.
And so it took me a while, acouple years, till I finally
realized like I want to go toso-and-so's house or I want to
go to this place to a movie, togo eat or whatever it is, and
(49:19):
I'm gonna go by myself with mykid.
You know, I'm gonna take mybaby, I'm gonna take my kids to
go by myself with my kid.
You know, I'm going to take mybaby, I'm going to take my kids
to go do this and that.
And it was just that moment andI remember it was like I was
sitting in my car, upset, likeman, he doesn't want to go with
me again.
And I finally thought, well,because I had that, it was like
I was fighting internally LikeI'm just going to go inside the
(49:40):
house and just stay here.
You, I'm just going to goinside the house and just stay
here.
You know, put myself in thismental prison.
But why?
So I just left and I went and Igo all the time.
Now I'm like people are likeyou're married.
I'm like, yes, my husband is athome in his little cocoon,
leaving alone.
Speaker 2 (49:57):
I'm like, usually when I see you out, it's usually
you and Alex.
Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, my sony'all be rolling yeah and my.
Speaker 3 (50:03):
It's funny because my kids it's either one or the
other.
One wants to go, the other onedoesn't.
Sometimes I have both, but theyand you know my husband comes
out with us too.
Yeah, and people are usuallysurprised to see him, but that's
okay, he's there but I did.
I had to learn to go to placeson my own and then also now you
(50:25):
know, like signing.
I didn't know anybody was goingto the painting class either
and I signed myself up for thatkind of stuff and that's where
you meet new people.
Speaker 2 (50:34):
Yeah, I don't know.
Lord help me.
I don't know if I'm trying tomeet new people or not.
I just wanted the jean jacket.
There you go.
I'm telling you, I have it inmy head, what I wanted to say.
Speaker 3 (50:43):
You're like I have the design okay, I gotta start
thinking on that yes, I'm like Ithink I was excited.
Speaker 2 (50:48):
I even tried to give it to aaron to go and he was
like yeah, no, he's like, youcan go to that.
If you want a friend orsomething, like go ahead and
like do what you gotta do, butI'm not going yeah, I was like I
said I said, guess All right.
Well, final question Okay, whatencouragement do you have for
(51:12):
the person listening to this?
Speaker 3 (51:16):
All right.
So I would say I've alreadysaid it but you know, just kind
of lean into being yourself anddon't be afraid to be yourself.
Be the social caterpillar orthe big butterfly or a little
ant on a hill, whichever one youwant to be, it doesn't matter.
Um, but you know, definitelylean into yourself, don't be
(51:38):
afraid to grow, don't be afraidto learn, to try new things.
You know, I I heard this otherthing, this thing, the other day
, and I was like I never saw itthat way, but I thought it was
so genius, like start, learn tofall up, and I thought that was
such an interesting concept,because you know it's like you
(52:00):
fail and you fall down rightyeah but fall up, like fall up
into your opportunities, like,okay, this didn't work.
What's my next step?
This is gonna get me up to thenext thing and up to the next
thing, because when I heard that, it made me think of my
situation from going from youknow little old stay-at-home mom
(52:25):
to working at Denny's, toworking at the country club, to
working at the food bank, toworking at Meals on Wheels, to
getting you know communityawards and being in these places
and people knowing who I amwhen I walk in a room.
It's like this is so weird but,I fell up.
I really did, you know.
(52:46):
I just I was, I leaned intobeing myself, um, and I fell up,
you know.
So it's like I didn't fall downand I didn't let the bad
moments define me.
Yeah, you know, I didn't letthat take over me and I just
fell up.
Maybe, even if I did fall downhere and there, I still got up
(53:10):
and fell up.
But, yeah, definitely lean intobeing yourself.
If you don't like yoursituation, change it.
Like I said, you can only doyour part and doing that,
whatever part you got to do, isgoing to be different a lot of
times, you know.
(53:30):
Sometimes your part might be topray, to act, to change, to
just be quiet, yeah, to think,um, to move to.
I mean, you never know whatthat needs to be.
You can only do your part and Ijust feel like the easiest way
(53:52):
to do your part is to beyourself.
Speaker 2 (53:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (53:54):
Don't be afraid of being yourself.
Speaker 2 (53:56):
Hey, I'll say it again God only made one you, and
that is your superpower.
Speaker 3 (54:01):
That's right.
My pastor says that God has ourpicture on his mantel place
Like 8 by 10 or probably way,way bigger.
That is too cute.
Speaker 2 (54:15):
I never heard it like that.
That's cute, though.
Well, that is the end of thisepisode.
So, cinda, thank you for comingon and dropping those gems and
um being open and transparentwith us.
We appreciate it, thank you forhaving me.
Oh, no problem.
Um, for the listener, I'll justremind you that you are loved,
um, you are seen.
(54:35):
God has a purpose for your life.
There is a passion, um, orsometimes they say the little
thing that is, or this idea thatkeeps popping in your head that
the world needs.
So don't be afraid to go andtry it and do it, and, most of
all, you're loved by not only me, but God too.
Speaker 1 (54:57):
Thank you for listening to another episode of
Standing in your Truth withYanni.
And if no one told you today,you are loved, you are beautiful
, you are needed and you matter.
Standing in your Truth withYanni.
family and friends, having open-ended discussions on
anything from faith, finances,relationships and how to stay
motivated during life's tryingtimes.
Make sure to follow on allsocial media platforms.
The social media link is in thebio.
Sit back and get ready to enjoy.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of
Standing In your Truth Podcast.
I am your host, yanni.
How is everyone doing?
During the time of recordingthis, we are, I was going to say
, smack dead in the middle, butwe're not technically in the
middle.
We're kind of at the beginningof spring break, so it's hot
(00:43):
outside, but it's cold in themorning.
Doesn't make any sense to me.
I don't know what outfit towear.
But that's life, um, but anyway, life's going good.
So I have yet another guestwoohoo to me, um for the series
um, life models.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
So I'm gonna, so I'm going to let her introduce
herself, hello hello, my name isCinda and I am a mom and a wife
and a daughter and lots oftitles.
I'm also the volunteercoordinator at Meals on Wheels
of Odessa.
Shameless plug Come volunteer.
(01:21):
Two-way street there Helpsother people and it helps you
back.
It's good for the soul.
So that's me.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
That's a good elevated speech Because I feel
like definitely serving is goodfor the soul, absolutely.
I always tell people that'skind of what helped me when I
was going for my divorce and allthat Moving out here and
getting to plug in the communitymade a difference.
Yeah, hey, hit up Cinda.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
I gotta say and that's how we met yeah,
literally is it that, or whitepeel yeah, serving together in
different places.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
That is true.
Yep, oh, I didn't even thinkabout that yes, ma'am see, make
new friends.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
I'm like wait, I didn't even think about that,
you.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
You're right.
All right, so we're going to gowith our usual questions, so I
should say house questions, butthe first one is what motivates
you?
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Hands down my children.
They are my biggest motivator.
I guess you know a lot ofpeople say they want to live
vicariously through theirchildren.
I absolutely do not.
I want them to soar pastanything I could ever be, so I
just Everything I do.
I know that they're watching, Iknow that they're listening and
(02:34):
I just I want to do everythingfor them, for them to see, for
them to learn, and I always tellthem learn from your own
mistakes, but learn more fromother people's mistakes,
especially mine.
I will tell them my bad storiesand I'm like, yeah, don't do
that no, I would definitely saythat's one thing about you,
(02:57):
especially now this season.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
You're in currently, but cinda is a hands-on mom in a
good way, like she's on thetrips, she's doing the things
with her kiddos um, always,always enjoy.
Looking at the pictures thatyou post, I'm like, oh, look at
them traveling with the band.
I think is usually when you,where you guys, are traveling.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
My daughter, got out of band, but my son is still in
choir.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
He's senior year but I did just yep, she's out of
band.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
She's now in athletic stuff she got into uh, she's a
sports trainer one of theathletic trainers, yep.
And she got into medicalterminology, oh, and decided she
wants to be in the medicalfield, maybe like a physical
therapist okay, and so she hascompletely done 180 and she's so
happy with that change and I amtoo.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
I can see it in her wow so we have, um, I have a
cousin that's a oh, I hope I getthese titles right.
Logic occupational therapistokay, for the school district oh
, cool, um.
And then I have a, a.
Her husband is a physicaltherapist cool, I think.
If not, there's something closeto that, I think that's right,
(04:04):
nice, yeah.
So if you have any questions, Ican always have someone come
and talk to her, at least forAlicia for sure, if she wants to
continue up.
Okay, cool, for sure.
Okay, how do you protect yourmental health?
Speaker 3 (04:21):
I have to protect my mental health by realizing I
can't do everything in a day.
That's a bomb right there.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
You should repeat that one more time I can't do
everything in a day.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Yeah, if I mess up, most likely I can fix it.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
And you know, god willing, I have another day
tomorrow, so I can just work onit.
I always tell my kids, badmoments are just bad moments not
a bad life.
So if something happens, it'sjust like okay we can stop the
podcast right there.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
I'm like I know that's not your life motto, but
I mean, I think you forgetsometimes that, like, bad
moments are bad moments andthey're not your life.
I tell people that somethinglike don't allow whatever
happened also to become likeyour identity exactly like no,
that's just a chapter.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Yeah, do not sit in it.
That's.
That's a big thing that Ireally try to.
When I'm in, when I'm in a badmoment, I have to really catch
myself in it and make the effortto get out of it.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Yeah, so yeah I say it's okay, it's okay to not be
okay, but what are you gonna doabout it?
Yeah same thing pretty much,which is very mind-blowing.
Simple things.
Mindset right and how you thinkmakes a difference.
What advice would would yougive your younger so?
Speaker 3 (05:43):
I would absolutely tell my younger self to think
bigger, mmm, because I just Idid not.
I didn't have anybody to helpme think bigger and I just wish
I would have.
Like I have so manyconversations with my daughter
who's 16 and it's like in themiddle of the conversation I
(06:07):
just catch myself thinking likeI wish somebody and I tell her
out loud I'm like I wishsomebody would have had this
conversation with me when I wasa kid To tell me, try and do and
, you know, have the failuresand grow from them, and but at
least try and helping me tolearn and think about different
(06:28):
opportunities.
I, I was in a well, I was astay-at-home mom for many years
and then when I found mydaughter, started preschool, I
started working again and I justdid food and I don't know why.
It was like in my mindset, likeyes, I graduated from high
school, but I graduated.
(06:49):
I was four months pregnant.
I graduated with him, fourmonths pregnant, walked the
stage About a month later, twomonths later, here comes my son,
premature baby, so 18-year-old,special needs mom, and it was a
very isolating life and adifficult life and lots of
(07:15):
learning curves, lots ofchallenges, and I just felt so
limited and like in hindsight,it's like I feel bad for her
because I didn't have thatexpanded mindset in any kind of
sense.
But I just remember once Ifinally started um, I mean, I
(07:36):
had my daughter a couple ofyears later, after my son and,
like I said, when she startedpreschool, I went back to work
and and it was like I just wentinto food, thinking like, well,
I just graduated high school,I've been home with my kids for
a good few years since then andI just had this very limited
mindset of, and belittlingmindset of like oh yeah, you
(07:59):
know, this is all I can do.
I don't have work experiencebecause I haven't been in the
workforce for a long time.
The only previous actual job Ihad done was a telemarketer when
I was 16 years old for a coupleyears, until shortly before I
had my son.
(08:20):
So, and then after I had my, mykids, when they were small, I
would go volunteer.
That was, uh, the outlet I hadand how I made friends and how I
helped myself without knowingat the time and so, but I didn't
count on that experience, Ijust did it and I tell people
now I'm like, volunteering, nomatter what you're doing, that
(08:42):
is that is work experience.
Yes, but at that time I did notknow that.
Yes, and so here I was, puttingmyself down and belittling
myself to working at Denny'sovernights, weekends, dealing
with drunk people.
Yeah, crazy time.
But thankfully somebody saw mywork ethic and they pulled me up
and I went to a betterrestaurant.
(09:03):
And then somebody pulled me upbecause they noticed me from
there and I went to the OdessaCountry Club, worked there for
about seven years and I wasdoing really well.
Um, I was, without evenrealizing it at the time, I was
networking.
I didn't know.
I mean, I was just being myself, yeah, and talking to people,
and you know, making these, youknow very small, but still
(09:26):
making these connections.
I didn't even realize.
Well, it's funny now becausesomebody I met at that time is
now my boss.
Oh, really.
Yeah, that is wild.
Yeah, many years later.
But you know, I was there forseven years.
I missed out on holidays withmy kids because it was Mother's
(09:46):
Day required, thanksgivingrequired, easter required, and,
like my kids were small, Imissed out on so many holidays
with them and you know theirmotto.
There was like, well, you getto get home, you know, by 6
o'clock.
It's like my kids are in, youknow, preschool and elementary.
When I get home at that time Ito go home, shower, get ready if
(10:08):
we want to go eat at arestaurant or whatever you know
it's like by time you wait inline and get to eat and it's
it's already their bedtime yeahso it was such a such a long
time of wasted holidays andthings that I really regret.
But I I finally, like I said, Iwas still belittling myself,
(10:30):
putting putting my mindset towhere, like I'm doing good here,
but like this is kind of whereI am, like it is what it is,
kind of situation and I don'tknow what it was.
But I I really wanted I alwaysknow, knew that I wanted to help
people and I remember a girlthat I worked there with at the
(10:54):
country club had left and I sawher once.
She told me she was working atthe food bank and I was like I
don't want to work at the foodbank.
I was like I've always wantedto help people and I would want
to work at the food bank.
I was like I've always wantedto help people and I would love
to work at the food bank and Iwas like put in a good word for
me.
And I really don't think shetook me serious because she was
kind of like on her way to youknow, eat with friends.
(11:15):
She's like, oh, okay, cool, youknow, whatever.
So, fast forward a couple moreyears and I saw her boss more
years, and I saw her boss andshe had given a speech there at
the country club and she wasjust kind of talking about all
the things they did at the foodbank and I was like man, I mean,
I was just in awe.
Yeah, I was supposed to becleaning the room and I was
(11:36):
standing to the side listeningto the speech, and so when she
finished I approached her andsaid hi, and I was like I really
want to work at the food bank.
I've always wanted to helppeople she was like yeah and
exactly, and that was both forme very bold at the time and she
was like well, we don't haveanything open at the moment, but
(11:58):
if anything ever does becomeopen, we can definitely reach
out to you, because she knewpeople I knew yeah and I was
like, okay, so I kind of tookher half serious.
And then I I put myself down inthe same moment and I told her
verbally I said the only thingis I don't have a college degree
or anything.
And I remember, like it wassuch a moment that I remember it
(12:23):
, like she looked at me kind ofconfused and she goes well, why
would that matter?
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
And it was like it, to me it mattered so much
because I thought that was anecessary stepping block.
Yeah, and she looked at meshe's like that doesn't matter.
She's like we have a lot ofpositions that don't require a
college degree or anything.
Yeah, and it was like we have alot of positions that don't
require a college degree oranything.
Yeah, and it was like somind-blowing for me because I'm
like wait, what?
Like I can work there and Idon't have to go to college.
(12:52):
And it was just the food bank.
I don't know why.
I had it in my mind, yeah, andso fast forward about three
months, and here comes a message.
Hey, you know, they reached outto me.
They told me from the food bankthat you want to work here and
we have a spot open and it'syours if you want it, um, come
and apply oh, wow I mean thatthankfully, you know, without
(13:16):
bragging in any kind of sense.
Thankfully, my work ethic hasalways been very strong.
Yeah, enough to pull me fromjob to job to job.
So I never, thankfully, had toapply for a lot of jobs, it was
more like the standard like heyformality.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
I guess you could say so I did.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
I went in and filled out the application and did all
the things and I got the job,worked at the food bank for
about a year and a half and thenwork ethics spoke for itself
again, I guess.
And now I got pulled into meals.
And well, it's been therealmost three years now, which
doesn't even seem like it.
But all that to say, I wish Icould just tell myself younger,
(13:56):
think bigger.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Try like go for the goal, because I don't know why I
was stuck in my head for solong thinking I couldn't work
somewhere else without a degreeor something.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
I'm going to be completely honest with you.
I've had that mindset ReallyPlenty of times, and I think
that I wouldn't say the onlyreason, but that's one of the
reasons why I have held, held onto the idea of, like, I need a
college degree, which, don't getme wrong, I mean, I feel like
it's good to have one, um, anddoes open up some doors, but
(14:34):
doesn't open up all the doors.
Glad to believe that, like,wherever the lord wants you,
he's going to put you atabsolutely whatever's meant to
be what happened, um, so butyeah well plot twist whenever I
started working at the food bank, my whole life changed as far
as my availability.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
I got to spend the holidays with my kids.
I actually had too manyholidays.
I didn't even know what to dowith my days off anymore.
The funniest thing was my firstholiday off was thanksgiving
and I was so excited to have aholiday off after so many years
of working them without beingrequired to.
I actually invited, like all myfamily and friends, to my house
(15:14):
.
I had like 35 people I fedeverybody and I caught myself
pouring refills and I'm like I'mworking.
So I got so mad at myself and Iwas like okay, I'm not doing
that again.
She's like we're not hereanymore.
But the plot twist is Iactually did start going to
college when I started workingat the food bank, just because,
(15:34):
and I finally graduated lastyear and got my associates in.
So yeah, I'm excited.
And the funny thing is, it wasjust because I don't need it per
se.
So you know, I already had myjob before I had my degree.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
So yeah, Definitely think bigger.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
I get it, but it's the idea of also having someone
to help challenge you in yourthinking.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
I think, for me.
So I'm a part of big brothers,big sisters, so I have a little
um which who's the cutest, bythe way?
And I often like I tell myself,okay, yanni, what are you like?
I think, what are you going totell her, what are you pouring
into her?
And, like this season, I'm justreminding her like, hey, we
don't chase friends.
Good, you don't change.
(16:22):
Yes, be yourself.
Because, also, to be remindedthat, like in this current
moment, she's in fifth grade, ifI start pulling all this stuff
into her that I learned over myadulthood, she's gonna make I'm
crazy, right, it's gonna be ableto process it.
So I meet her where she's at.
So she's telling me what'shappening.
Let me tell you the biggerscope of what's happening.
Yeah, but it does allow me to,because currently we don't have
(16:42):
kids, but, um, it does allow meto, you know, kind of build a
little one up, even though, ifI'm being honest, I've been
around kids for a minute, soprobably maybe I've been making
a difference, hopefully.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
I love that.
I actually want to be.
I've been trying to get to be apart of it.
It's just timing because I wasin college.
Now my son's a senior, so I'mthinking, after he graduates
this year, I'm going to do itand step in.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I will tell you, I think the hardest part of the
whole process is the initialfilling out the background check
and they have to interview you.
But once you get over thathurdle and get through all that,
you see your kid depending upon45 minutes a week or if not, I
think it's like two or threehours a month.
If you do the community one, ohcool, it's not a huge
commitment.
(17:24):
In the community one, literallyyou can go pick your kid up and
go play at synergy and hang outand take a bath.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Yeah, like it's not, but you do have that but I do
because of you know the thingswe're talking about.
I want to teach kids to thinkbigger because, like I said, I
didn't have any.
I know I was loved but nobodywas giving me that value.
I'm like, hey, you know you cando this and yeah, and I noticed
this skill on you and youshould, you know, grow on that
(17:49):
and things like that.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
So it's definitely want to share that yeah, I love
that, though I have so manyfollow-up questions, but I'm
gonna save it till the end.
Okay, I like I literally wrotemyself a note okay.
So, before we get into yourlife model, I have one more
question for you.
What is your mindset when youare told no or the door shuts?
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Look for the window, look for another door.
I mean, there's alwaysdifferent ways to do things.
I don't know, I'm a fixer, yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
I should think I gave that up, no longer me.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Yeah, but it's just I mean mean, and not just like in
people, but just like in ingeneral.
You know, I don't know.
So it's like if you can't dothings a certain way or one way,
the door closes, like, figureout a different way, how to go
around it, try again.
I don't know, maybe you justneed a different key to the same
door, I don't know.
Yeah, but yeah just doesn'talways mean that things are over
(18:48):
I mean, that's definitely true.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
All right, so drum roll.
What is your life motto for us?
You can only do your part whenyou said that earlier, I was
like why does that sound sosimple, but yet so life-changing
?
Yes?
So what exactly does that mean?
Speaker 3 (19:12):
so that is something that I had to learn the hard way
.
Unfortunately, a lot of thethings I've learned in my life,
um, I had to learn the hard wayand so now you know like I, I
teach my kids everything that Ican.
But I just noticed that I wasalways trying to be a fixer in
people.
(19:32):
Like I said, I've always beentrying to, you know, try to
misfix it, and so I wanted tofix me and you and them and
everybody around me.
And you know, it's just thatperfectionism and stuff like
that and it's like at some pointI don't even realize what was
(19:53):
the breaking point for that, butI just realized that it was you
can't fix everything, you can'tdo everything.
You can only do your part, andthat's just.
I don't know.
I really learned that if I wantto fix, let's say, a
(20:14):
relationship, you can't fix therelationship by yourself.
You can fix you and you can fixyour part, but the other person
has to do their part.
That is definitely a meet inthe middle situation and, just
like I was telling my daughterthe other day, relationships
when you think about the word,majority of the time most people
(20:34):
think of a man and a woman, awife, a husband, a boyfriend,
girlfriend, type of situation.
But I told her, I said you havea relationship with everybody
in your life.
I said mother and daughter, wehave a relationship, brother and
sister, that's a relationshipwith everybody in your life.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
I said mother and daughter.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
We have a relationship Brother and sister,
that's a relationship.
A teacher and student that is arelationship.
I said all of those arerelationships.
You have to figure out how todo your part in each of those
relationships.
And she was asking like what doyou mean?
And I said, okay, you're astudent.
I said a teacher-studentrelationship.
Your part in that relationshipis to be respectful, patient,
(21:13):
listen, you're there to learn.
I said if the teacher is ontheir part of the relationship
is to also be patient, you know,to teach you, to help you,
things like that.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
And so.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
I was trying to tell her in every relationship, you
have your part and that's allyou can do, so you can't force
anybody to do things that youwant, because you know if.
If that was the case, it's like, well, I want to do this and I
want them to do this, and youknow, but it just doesn't work
that way so you can only do yourpart.
(21:48):
It's like you know she, she's ateenager and she sees people she
likes.
It's like you, you want to justgo talk to them and think, oh,
I hope they like me back and Ihope we date and happy ever
after, happily, ever after,right.
But that's not how it works.
It's you got to approach them,you got to see, you know like,
oh hi, what's your name?
(22:08):
And then, and then that's yourpart, that is your effort.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Some people may not even be into it.
It's like, oh sorry, um, Igotta go, that you did your part
and that was their part, sothat that's all you can do.
In every relationship you thinkso, not just boy, girl, but in
every relationship period, youcan only do your part.
So I've had that, I've had tofigure that out and, like I said
(22:36):
, every relationship um withfamily and friends, and you know
like people you think are yourbest friends in the whole world
and it's let's go to the moviesand let's have dinner and
they're like I don't want to goanywhere.
Or you know I, you know you didyour part.
(23:00):
You put yourself out there andit's hard, but you know that's a
part of only doing your part aswell is facing rejection yeah
facing that pain and the hurtand all those bad things.
But then there's also good partsto it too, so you can have the,
(23:20):
you know the fulfillment ofdoing your part as far as like,
okay, I'm having struggles in myrelationship, I'm gonna go to
counseling.
Okay, I did my part, I did thework, I did the you know
whatever's needed, and so I likethat, like I really do like
(23:41):
that.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
So I have a question for you.
So when did you, or is there amoment when you were like, like,
the light bulb went off, or wasit just a time period in life
when you were like, dude, I canonly do my part, I cannot
control like was there, wasthere a certain moment, that
kind of?
Speaker 3 (23:59):
happened.
There's been a lot of differentmoments that I've had that um
again in different relationships, in my marriage and my
parenting and me being adaughter.
I've had that in a lot ofdifferent situations, but like
so one, there's this oneinstance in my life and it kind
(24:21):
of shaped me in a lot ofdifferent ways and it it's funny
because it put me I don't knowI like where I'm at because of
that moment.
But there's just a lot of waysthat that moment affected me.
And I remember my kids werevery small and I can't remember
exactly what the situation was.
I believe my husband had gotlaid off for a short time and we
(24:44):
had already started workingagain.
But you know, from paycheck topaycheck there was a little bit
of a you know a distance thereand so I've always been a miss
resource girl, like even as ateenager I used to get um all
the little teenage magazines andum Cosmopolitan and J-14 and
(25:05):
all this.
I was just J-14?
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Yes, so I With the posters.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Yes, my room was covered.
There was no free wall space.
Yeah, it was covered withJustin Timberlake and Backstreet
Boys and all the thingsCraziness, so yeah, anyway, well
, I remember having all thosemagazines.
Well, I remember having allthose magazines and when I was
probably about maybe 14, 15years old, I remember I was
(25:32):
cleaning my room and themagazines they were just like
stacked up and I'm like, okay,this is a lot, I got to get rid
of it.
I got to get rid of some ofthese, and so it was like I had
them in my hand and I was like,okay, I need to throw them away.
But I couldn't do it, and so Iwas like I don't want to throw
them away without getting what Ineed out of them first.
So what I did it's funny I gotconstruction paper and I cut out
(25:57):
all the useful information,like information about what to
do when you have period crampsand what to do when you're sad
because you broke up with yourboyfriend and all the little
teenager problems right and so Iglued it all nice and neat in
this, in this construction papernotebook thing, and I put a
title on it just called the book.
(26:19):
And so I threw away all themagazines, kept all the
information from the articles,and it was funny because my
friends would come over andthey're like I'm so sad.
You know this, this, this andmy mom's driving me crazy and my
boyfriend broke up with me allthese stats and I was like you
know what, let's get you someadvice from my book and I would.
I would go through there that ishilarious yeah, so I was always
(26:40):
missed resource and so still tothis day, I have people calling
me like what do I do and whereI go, and I need this and I need
that.
So I'm like, okay, I got youand so I've always known my
resources pretty well.
And then so when my husband gotlaid off, you know there was
this, that short time period,and I remember we were low on
food and my kids were reallysmall, I think they were between
(27:02):
like two and four years old.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Oh yeah, Maybe.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
And so I just remember kind of looking in the
pantry and it's like I don'tknow what I can make for dinner,
Like we're going to need somegroceries, yeah, and I was the
one always telling everybodywhere to go in those scenarios.
But then it was me that Ineeded to be in that scenario
and so I was like, okay, I knowthat Catholic Charities gives
out a box of food.
(27:25):
So I went and signed up andeverything, and they gave me a
box of food, some meat orwhatever.
And I was like, okay, cool,Like you know, it was a big
thing to try to, you know, toget myself to that moment Like,
hey, I need some help.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
And so anyways.
But so I get the food and I gohome and I opened the box and I
just remember being sodisappointed and sad because it
was like things that I mean Iwas only like 20, 21, 22 years
old, something like that.
It was like lentils and cannedbeets and like these things that
I don't even know yeah and I'mlike what?
What is it, what?
How do I even make a meal forone?
(28:11):
And are my kids gonna like that?
Am I gonna like this?
yeah and so, on top of you know,not being able to know how to
make half the things or what tomake them with, then the other
half of the stuff was likeexpired by a couple of years,
and this was a long time ago sothis is absolutely in no kind of
(28:33):
way, any kind of just to docatholic charities.
You know, it may have just beena bad day or whatever it was, um
, but I just remember throwingaway half of the box, you know,
and it was like I don't, thiswas almost useless.
You know, like I use the meadand maybe one or two things from
the box, like corn and greenmeads or something like that,
(28:55):
but the rest of it I just Iwasn't able to use it and I just
remember being so sad, not onlyfor myself but for other people
, because we weren't in that badof a situation.
You know, it was like that onetime we needed a box but it just
really made me think of whatabout the other people who
depend on this box, like life ordeath depend on this box.
(29:18):
And I just remember having thatmoment of like I don't ever
want to be.
I don't ever want anybody elseto be in that type of situation.
I want to be the person who canhelp them.
I want to be the one to saylike hey, you need food, go here
go there they have.
You know they have good stufffor you or whatever.
(29:39):
That's where I where I reallygot the moment of like I want to
work at the food bank, I wantto work in nonprofit, I want to
work in places where I can helppeople and um.
So that was a big moment for meas far as just kind of shaping
who, who I wanted to be in thefuture.
That was kind of that firstmoment of like I want to be
(30:01):
something bigger than what I wasat the moment.
Um, but I just remember thatmoment because, like I said, it
made me think of myself, made methink of what I want for my
kids, made me think of what Iwant for other people, and so
there was really a strangeinstance.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
That was a defining moment for me that sounds like
it kind of helped you um realizeyour um purpose yeah and kind
of you know what god has, Iguess what god has you on you
know earth to do?
yes, you have a servant's heart,and kind of what angle and how
(30:40):
to use it.
So my next question for you andyou're going to be like, yeah,
this is not one of the ones youtold me about, but this is part
of what I wrote down here.
What's question for you?
And you're going to be likethis is not one of the ones you
told me about, but this is partof what I wrote down here.
What's next for you?
What is what's?
What's next for Cinda?
Speaker 3 (30:52):
You know, I thought about that recently, not too
long ago.
I was just kind of like, oh,wow.
You know, it's so crazy tothink back of what seems not
that long ago, even though Ilike, wow, I've been at meals
for three years.
It does not seem like that,yeah, um, because in my head
(31:13):
it's like, yeah, I, I just usedto work at the food bank, you
know a few years ago, and nowit's like that's so far in the
distance.
Now it's like man, it's.
It's been a while since I'vedone that, um, and then,
ironically, I still use thoseskills.
We're talking about ourupcoming fundraiser and stuff
like that and different thingswe have going on.
(31:33):
It's like, how are we going todo the chairs and how are you
going to do the tablecloths?
I'm like I got you, I know thisstuff I've done.
I kind of.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
I have an experience in that.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
I'm like I know all the banquet stuff and all that,
yeah, so anyway.
Um, but yeah, that goes back toyou.
Know all the banquet stuff andall that, yeah, so anyway.
But yeah, that goes back to you.
Know all your skills, you learnthey definitely.
You know volunteering or not,they go with you.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Use them.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
But anyways.
But yeah, I was just kind ofthinking of, like man, how crazy
to think I kind of went fromserving the rich to serving the
poor.
But I'm very, very thankful,very blessed, to be where I am
now and, to be honest, I haven'tthought too far ahead as far as
(32:16):
what else I want to do.
There's been moments, like whenI was in college, I had to do
several assignments where it waslike, you know, create your own
brand or create your ownnonprofit, you know what would
the purpose be and things likethat.
And I've had some ideas where,like you know, it would be
(32:39):
really cool to have a nonprofitthat does this and does that and
does that.
Um, but then I I've learned,also being, you know, a resource
girl, knowing what's out thereand learning what else is out
there, um, I've learned that alot of the non-profits over
overlap and you know a lot ofthem do some of the same things.
(33:00):
You know, same song, different,or I don't know.
I guess same song, differentdance, I don't know.
However you want to say it, butthey're kind of doing the same
thing, on a lot of levels, andso I've always thought about
adding some things in there thatyou don't typically see, or at
least not in our area.
So I have thought about that.
(33:23):
That would be a very big leap.
So I don't know.
It's something to consider.
So you never know, you mightsee me doing that, but I did go
to the SheCan conference lastweek or this week, I don't know.
Time's blurred Last week.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
I'm like I think.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
Yeah, last Thursday, and it's funny.
I think yeah, last Thursday,and it's funny I'm sitting there
.
I'm sitting there with MeganPowell, and so we're sitting
there and we're listening to thespeeches and a couple of the
speakers were up there and wewere just kind of admiring them
and I can't remember what shetold me and she's like they're
(34:08):
so great and she um, she wasjust saying something good about
them and I was like, don'tworry, megan, one day me and
you're gonna be the speakers outthere, like one day we're gonna
be the ones giving the advice,yeah, because I'm, I'm thinking
bigger now.
Yeah, I'm not putting myselfdown.
Yeah, um, you know, um, alongthe way with the whole, you know
(34:28):
, like I said earlier, tellingmyself as a little girl, think
bigger.
Yeah, I would want that formyself because I had a very low
self-esteem and I know thatthinking bigger would have
helped that as well, and so I'mvery thankful to say that.
You know, in no ways at all doI think I'm perfect, but my
self-esteem is definitely waybetter than it's ever been in my
(34:51):
life that's important yes, andit's.
it's those little things thathelp, things that you wouldn't
even think of.
You know, like getting a newjob and going just starting
college and then, especiallyfinishing college, and just you
know being invited to be on apodcast and you know whatever it
(35:13):
is, but yeah, just you knowbeing thought of and being just
you know hearing people just say, like, hey, cinda, I appreciate
you inviting me to this placeand hey, you know, I thought of
you today because of this, andit's like wow, and it's not
something that makes you, youknow, definitely stay humble,
(35:34):
it's not something that makesyou have a big head or anything.
It's just like you kind ofrealize what you said earlier.
You know like I'm fulfillingGod's purpose for my life.
I'm putting myself in the placesthat I need to be.
I'm allowing myself to be usedin the way that I'm supposed to
be used.
I like that.
(35:56):
I like feeling that, oh, I'm inthe right place at the right
time.
It's one thing my pastor alwaystells us at church Turn to one
person and say you're in theright place at the right time.
That's a true statement.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Most times, I remember that god's in the
details, yes, um, and that eventhe moments where it seems like
you're alone or, um, you don'thave it figured out, just
remember that you're not notalone.
Speaker 3 (36:24):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
He's right there, yeah, and he knows what your
tomorrow looks like.
You don't.
So what a better person to putyou know your life, like, give
him your life, yeah, he knows,you know he's the author, but
anyway, that's a whole otherLife looks a lot better.
Speaker 3 (36:43):
in hindsight I'll say that, oh, it's not true to life
looks a lot better.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
In hindsight I'll say that oh yeah, that's true,
because I mean, if I can like,even the last year and a half
for me looks totally differentyeah like I'm chilling that all
goes back to the what I saidearlier.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
You know, bad moments are not.
It does not mean a bad life andthat looking back in hindsight
is like the most beautifultestimony of that, because it's
like I remember sitting thereand thinking you know I am alone
, or whatever, and it's like Iwas never alone and looking back
and realizing that is I don'tknow.
(37:20):
It's such a beautifulrealization to know.
I love telling parts of mystory and just you know, even
about the food box it's like,like I said, we weren't in dire
need because God had us.
You know, there was biggerplans and so it's really awesome
to look back and just see God'sfingerprints, as some people
(37:41):
put it.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
So it's pretty cool.
But you also, I think, to be tosee, um, how present god has
been in your life.
I feel like you kind of have toI don't want to say be humble,
but you have to like get overyourself, oh, absolutely, and
like take a second and look backand be like whoa, that
(38:03):
definitely could have went thisway, but it went this way and
realized that had nothing to dowith you yeah because I feel
like some people.
They think, oh, you know, I, youknow, I may help myself get
through that absolutely and I'mlike yeah, okay, well I'm saying
right now I can count a bunchof times where I'm like that was
nothing but god yeah, yeah, wegotta definitely get out of our
own way yeah, that's anotherlife model.
(38:24):
Maybe I'll do more than oneepisode just saying okay, what
do you stand for?
Speaker 3 (38:34):
I stand for truth okay um, I'm very big on truth,
very big on morals, um highvalues.
I just lying makes me cringe.
Hearing lies make me cringe,but yeah, I just feel like you
(38:55):
know integrity and truth andhonesty.
It just gets you so far fartherthan you would think you know.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
Farther than that lie will.
Speaker 3 (39:06):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
Because you're gonna tell 12 lies for that one lie
you started off with exactly,and then remember exactly.
Speaker 3 (39:11):
Well, that's what I was thinking about.
Actually, when you're talkingabout, you know that you're with
a little, with the big brothers, big sisters, because what you
said, you know, telling a childto stay true to themselves is so
genuine and so pure, becausehaving kids who are trying to
fit in and force themselves intothese puzzles that they're not
(39:34):
a piece of like, no, homegirl,you do not belong there um, you
know that to me that's part ofthat truth.
And then genuine, leaning intowho you are, because I, I feel
like that's a big thing of youknow, figuring out who you are,
because if you're trying to like, well, my favorite color is
(39:57):
pink, but that's too bright andeverybody else is wearing black,
you know whatever I, I loveglitter.
I will wear all the glitter.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
I mean I always have yeah, I mean you'd be dazzled
right now.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
Yeah I see you, girl over there.
Yes, thank you, but I reallydid used to even be that person
who didn't want to wear brightcolors.
Yeah, you know, and it's like,why was I hiding myself?
You know what I think is cute Ithink is cute.
My daughter is a teenager andmy style and her style are not
(40:31):
the same in any kind of thesense, and so I would put on an
outfit and I'm like you like,and sometimes it's funny,
majority of the time she's likemom, you look good, you look
cute, you know, fit, chick, yes,ma'am, whatever.
But it's so funny becausethere's times that I put
something on.
I'm like, oh, I like this, andthen she's like, uh, no that.
I put something on and I'm like, oh, I like this, and then
she's like, uh, no, I don't likethat.
And I'm like that's why Ibought it, not you.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
So it kind of goes with the life model that I.
The episode that I recorded wasyou're not meant for everyone,
like, not every.
What is it?
Not everyone is your cup of tea, or you're not everyone's cup
of tea.
Whatever it is Both ways.
Yeah, I'm like, wait, wait,whatever, confused myself for .5
seconds, but you get the point.
Yes, but I feel like when Irecorded it it took me a minute
(41:16):
to get there.
That was not a like, automatic,like I didn't walk out like you
, like me, you don't.
Oh well, no, I was a fixer anda pleaser and a um would do and
all kind of stuff.
Like my hair color is yellow.
People ask me yellow why I'mlike?
Because that's what I like,like and then I also realized.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
Another one you don't know how to explain what you
like yes, not everyone deservesan explanation and no is a
sentence.
Yes, I was gonna say I learned,and that is funny because
they're I'm not gonna say my ageon this thing, but you know,
I'm 30 plus and so I'm 34 I'm alittle bit older okay my
(41:59):
birthday's next month, oh, butum anyway.
So I just recently learned andit's funny, because that's
another thing I would tellmyself as a little girl, I think
is never stop learning and well, not just me.
I mean, I would tell any childthat, honestly, like big brother
, big sister, like hold on untilI get there, because I'm fixing
(42:19):
to go in there and give me alittle yeah, but um, yes, I want
people, I want kids to know andpeople you know, it doesn't
matter your age, don't stoplearning.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (42:29):
Like oh I, my mom, used to get so mad at me all the
time as a teenager.
She would tell me something andI'd tell her I know now my
daughter does that, but my mom,she would always just say, stop
telling me that.
She would just tell me, no,don't say that I hate that, or
whatever.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
yeah, she never gave me an explanation of why not to
say it.
We ain't getting no explanation.
Speaker 3 (42:48):
We gotta totally do it, because I told you to do
exactly well, I explain thingsto my children as best as I can,
and so my daughter has donethat to me.
She's like, okay, mom, I know.
And I'm like, no, ma'am, youdon't know.
I'm telling you because youdon't know.
And if you know everything,that means you're done learning
and you're not done learning.
(43:09):
You can't say you know, youknow, I know to this that and
everything.
I'm like.
And if that was, if that's thecase, you don't need a mom, you
don't need a teacher yeah likeyou don't know everything.
Be open to learning things,because, like I said, I'm 30
plus and I'm still learningthings.
I barely learned no is acomplete sentence.
Ooh, that was a what.
(43:31):
What?
What is a sentence?
Speaker 2 (43:33):
You say run that back one more time.
Speaker 3 (43:34):
Yeah and yeah, yes is a complete sentence.
We can say that fine.
But no, is a complete sentenceis like no, I can, can't do that
but I also feel like that'spart of our like fixer, like
we're like yes I don't reallywant to tell you no.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
And if I do tell you no, I want to tell you why I'm
telling you.
Right well, now I'm like nah, Iain't doing that yeah, I don't
even give you a, no, I'll giveyou a.
Speaker 3 (43:56):
Nah, that ain't happening yeah, we don't have to
explain ourselves and, and youknow, if you want to be tactful,
you can, but you don't evenknow that to anybody.
You know, and I'm big onmanners, so I will be most
likely, but still, I'm not, I'mnot doing it.
Yeah, but but that um?
I recently started learningabout boundaries.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
Never knew about boundaries I'm just gonna save
you some time.
Speaker 3 (44:19):
Energy, mental space, yeah your life, yeah, all kinds
of things.
What?
I'm like what I'm just sayingbut yeah, that's a new one to me
too.
So never stop learning, be open.
Yeah, I'm also learning whatcodependency is.
That's a new one to me.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
I realize, I oh gosh yeah is.
this is where our friends, we'regoing.
I'm like, literally, I justtold Erin on I forgot what day,
one day last week, and I waslike I didn't realize that I'm
the person that's like don't goanywhere by yourself, I don't go
anywhere by myself, I alwayshave some.
Hey, do you want to go to thiswith me?
If they tell me no, then I'mmore than likely probably not
(44:59):
going.
Well, I signed myself up for aclass in Midland.
Going.
Well, I signed myself up for aclass in newton.
Speaker 3 (45:07):
Now is it the jacket one?
Speaker 2 (45:08):
yeah, you're going, yes, you're not going alone,
okay, okay, well, look see.
But I took the leap of faith.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
I did too, and signed myself up because I was like I
have my jacket design in my head.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
I hope they help you do it, because I can't draw
barely right, so stick fingers,yes, but yeah, that is so funny.
Okay, yeah, good to know, bsfun.
I'm so excited.
Now my deeper faith.
Thank you, jesus.
You knew that I was gonna do itby myself, but I was gonna be
struggling, but anyway, um Iforgot.
Speaker 3 (45:36):
I was saying that's what you learned how to go.
Oh, because I always like.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
I always like want someone with me.
I think it's like growing upwith a large family you always
have someone with you, um, andthen I have always had friends
that like were around and wantedto do stuff with me.
So that's what I'm used to,yeah.
But then I also realized thatthis season of my life, what I
want, what I'm into, um, some ofmy friends are, but also my
friends have lives.
(46:02):
I think just about all of myfriends are married with kids,
um, have full-time jobs.
So it's like, yeah, they may beinterested in it, but they also
just may not be available to doit.
Yeah and yeah and not takingthat personally, but that's real
life, yeah, and you know,keeping the relationship and
loving through it, but yeah, I'mso excited.
(46:24):
I think one of my other friendsI did tell her I don't know for
sure if she signed up or not,but yeah, I'm so excited.
Speaker 1 (46:29):
So I just made my whole.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
You don't understand.
Speaker 3 (46:33):
I'm excited for that too yeah yes, that's a skill I
want to.
I definitely want to lean intoyou know, but to speak on that
same matter, I had that samekind of epiphany in my life too,
because so my husband, um, he'sa homebody and I am I call
myself a social caterpillar.
That's about right because I amall in it sometimes and then
(46:57):
there's other times that I willkind of like oh, I could be
anti-social, oh yeah yeah, soI'm a social caterpillar yeah
with butterfly wings when Ichoose to wear is that how that
works?
Speaker 2 (47:07):
let me use that one, okay, I don't know.
That's what I call myself Ijust have good days and bad days
.
Speaker 3 (47:12):
Yeah, so she's not about that, but whatever.
But yeah, so I don't know, butI I just, and it's kind of the
same thing I grew up in a reallybig family and I was used to
everybody together all the timeI remember my husband, uh, our
first christmas, you know, wehad our son already and so he's
a baby.
And it's so funny because Iremember it was like christmas
(47:34):
morning and it was just him, youknow, the baby, him and my uh
excuse me me my husband and mybaby.
And, um, I'm getting ready andeverything.
And my husband's just sittingthere chilling, watching TV or
playing video games or whateverhe's doing, and I'm like looking
at him, like well, I don't takehim that long to get ready,
(47:55):
right, it takes me a lot longer.
And then the baby, and so I'mgetting everything ready.
And then I'm like almost ready.
And I'm like are you going toget ready?
And he's like for what?
And I'm like almost ready, andI'm like are you gonna get ready
?
And he's like for what?
And I'm like because it'sChristmas, and he's like and
like what does that mean?
I'm like we're gonna go visitfamily and he's like we're gonna
(48:16):
what?
He did not go, he stayed homeand I went to go visit my aunts,
my uncles, my cousins, mycousins.
And he has two sisters and a mom.
I have 19 first cousins just onmy mom's side alone.
Speaker 2 (48:31):
Yeah, so that's a lot of people yes.
Speaker 3 (48:35):
Just on my mom's side , my dad's side, I'm still
counting.
I still meet my dad's family allthe time.
I meet new people all the time.
That's crazy, but um, anyway.
So I, I have a big family andI'm used to that too.
And so I remember going aloneand I was like devastated.
Like I'm newly married, I havea new baby and like this is not
(48:59):
the happy ever after dream thatI look, yeah, this is not what
I'm picturing in my head.
And so it took me a while, acouple years, till I finally
realized like I want to go toso-and-so's house or I want to
go to this place to a movie, togo eat or whatever it is, and
(49:19):
I'm gonna go by myself with mykid.
You know, I'm gonna take mybaby, I'm gonna take my kids to
go by myself with my kid.
You know, I'm going to take mybaby, I'm going to take my kids
to go do this and that.
And it was just that moment andI remember it was like I was
sitting in my car, upset, likeman, he doesn't want to go with
me again.
And I finally thought, well,because I had that, it was like
I was fighting internally LikeI'm just going to go inside the
(49:40):
house and just stay here.
You, I'm just going to goinside the house and just stay
here.
You know, put myself in thismental prison.
But why?
So I just left and I went and Igo all the time.
Now I'm like people are likeyou're married.
I'm like, yes, my husband is athome in his little cocoon,
leaving alone.
Speaker 2 (49:57):
I'm like, usually when I see you out, it's usually
you and Alex.
Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, my sony'all be rolling yeah and my.
Speaker 3 (50:03):
It's funny because my kids it's either one or the
other.
One wants to go, the other onedoesn't.
Sometimes I have both, but theyand you know my husband comes
out with us too.
Yeah, and people are usuallysurprised to see him, but that's
okay, he's there but I did.
I had to learn to go to placeson my own and then also now you
(50:25):
know, like signing.
I didn't know anybody was goingto the painting class either
and I signed myself up for thatkind of stuff and that's where
you meet new people.
Speaker 2 (50:34):
Yeah, I don't know.
Lord help me.
I don't know if I'm trying tomeet new people or not.
I just wanted the jean jacket.
There you go.
I'm telling you, I have it inmy head, what I wanted to say.
Speaker 3 (50:43):
You're like I have the design okay, I gotta start
thinking on that yes, I'm like Ithink I was excited.
Speaker 2 (50:48):
I even tried to give it to aaron to go and he was
like yeah, no, he's like, youcan go to that.
If you want a friend orsomething, like go ahead and
like do what you gotta do, butI'm not going yeah, I was like I
said I said, guess All right.
Well, final question Okay, whatencouragement do you have for
(51:12):
the person listening to this?
Speaker 3 (51:16):
All right.
So I would say I've alreadysaid it but you know, just kind
of lean into being yourself anddon't be afraid to be yourself.
Be the social caterpillar orthe big butterfly or a little
ant on a hill, whichever one youwant to be, it doesn't matter.
Um, but you know, definitelylean into yourself, don't be
(51:38):
afraid to grow, don't be afraidto learn, to try new things.
You know, I I heard this otherthing, this thing, the other day
, and I was like I never saw itthat way, but I thought it was
so genius, like start, learn tofall up, and I thought that was
such an interesting concept,because you know it's like you
(52:00):
fail and you fall down rightyeah but fall up, like fall up
into your opportunities, like,okay, this didn't work.
What's my next step?
This is gonna get me up to thenext thing and up to the next
thing, because when I heard that, it made me think of my
situation from going from youknow little old stay-at-home mom
(52:25):
to working at Denny's, toworking at the country club, to
working at the food bank, toworking at Meals on Wheels, to
getting you know communityawards and being in these places
and people knowing who I amwhen I walk in a room.
It's like this is so weird but,I fell up.
I really did, you know.
(52:46):
I just I was, I leaned intobeing myself, um, and I fell up,
you know.
So it's like I didn't fall downand I didn't let the bad
moments define me.
Yeah, you know, I didn't letthat take over me and I just
fell up.
Maybe, even if I did fall downhere and there, I still got up
(53:10):
and fell up.
But, yeah, definitely lean intobeing yourself.
If you don't like yoursituation, change it.
Like I said, you can only doyour part and doing that,
whatever part you got to do, isgoing to be different a lot of
times, you know.
(53:30):
Sometimes your part might be topray, to act, to change, to
just be quiet, yeah, to think,um, to move to.
I mean, you never know whatthat needs to be.
You can only do your part and Ijust feel like the easiest way
(53:52):
to do your part is to beyourself.
Speaker 2 (53:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (53:54):
Don't be afraid of being yourself.
Speaker 2 (53:56):
Hey, I'll say it again God only made one you, and
that is your superpower.
Speaker 3 (54:01):
That's right.
My pastor says that God has ourpicture on his mantel place
Like 8 by 10 or probably way,way bigger.
That is too cute.
Speaker 2 (54:15):
I never heard it like that.
That's cute, though.
Well, that is the end of thisepisode.
So, cinda, thank you for comingon and dropping those gems and
um being open and transparentwith us.
We appreciate it, thank you forhaving me.
Oh, no problem.
Um, for the listener, I'll justremind you that you are loved,
um, you are seen.
(54:35):
God has a purpose for your life.
There is a passion, um, orsometimes they say the little
thing that is, or this idea thatkeeps popping in your head that
the world needs.
So don't be afraid to go andtry it and do it, and, most of
all, you're loved by not only me, but God too.
Speaker 1 (54:57):
Thank you for listening to another episode of
Standing in your Truth withYanni.
And if no one told you today,you are loved, you are beautiful
, you are needed and you matter.
Standing in your Truth withYanni.
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