May 1, 2025 • 46 mins
The journey of motherhood doesn't come with an instruction manual, but it does come with guides along the way. In this heartwarming conversation, host Yanni welcomes her great-aunt Mari Spivey Willis to share wisdom gleaned from raising two daughters and now cherishing five grandchildren.
Mari opens her heart about becoming a mother at 35, when she brought home her first daughter and thought, "Now what?" With disarming honesty, she reveals how she navigated the uncertainties of parenthood without a roadmap, relying instead on prayer, community support, and the examples set by her own parents. Her journey from business professional to educator—ultimately finding her calling teaching pregnant and parenting teens—prepared her uniquely to understand the challenges mothers face across different circumstances.
What shines throughout Mari's story is her unwavering belief in the power of the "village." In an age when parents often feel isolated, she reminds us how crucial extended family, teachers, church members, and neighbors are in raising children. "If they did it, you saw it, you disciplined it," she explains, describing a community where everyone took responsibility for guiding children without fear of parental backlash—a stark contrast to today's individualistic approach to child-rearing.
Her perspective on transitioning from motherhood to grandmotherhood offers particular delight. While she admits her concern for her adult daughters never diminishes, she's embraced the joy of being "Grammy"—the one who offers every flavor of Oreos, fruit snacks, and boundless love. For those beginning their motherhood journey, Mari offers gentle advice: be patient, protect your children fiercely, and cherish each fleeting season. And for those still waiting or unable to become biological mothers, she provides heartfelt encouragement to mother those who need additional love and guidance.
Listen in as Mari shares how faith deepened her mothering, how closed doors led to better opportunities, and why finding something to smile about every day matters—even during life's most challenging seasons. Whether you're a new mother, a seasoned grandmother, or simply someone who values the wisdom of those who've walked before you, this conversation will leave you feeling seen, encouraged, and inspired to stand in your own truth.
Standing In Your Truth Podcast with Yanni Thomas
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello everyone, welcome to Standing In your
Truth podcast with your host,yanni.
On this podcast you'll hearYanni, family and friends having
open-ended discussions onanything from faith, finances,
relationships and how to staymotivated during life's trying
times.
Make sure to follow on allsocial media platforms.
(00:23):
The social media link is in thebio.
Sit back and get ready to enjoy.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of
Standing your Truth Podcast.
I am your host, yanni, so weare starting a new series.
We have ended, at least forright now anyway um, the life
model one we were doing.
Now we're moving on to, um,loving on moms.
(00:51):
Since may is all about mother'sday, I thought why not have
different moms come on and telltheir journey, their story and
maybe, um, encourage and upliftother mothers out there?
So I am starting with someonethat I have had on my list to
(01:13):
come on my podcast for a goodminute.
She had been dodging me andthen, you know, it all worked
out in my favor and it reallyworked out in my favor because
she walked in the door with apound cake, if you know.
You know it all worked out inmy favor and it really worked
out in my favor because shewalked in the door with a pound
cake, if you know, you know.
So, okay, I'm going to let herintroduce herself.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
I am Mara Spivey Willis.
I am Yanni's great aunt.
I'm a native Odessan.
I am the mother of two lovelydaughters, mariah and alicia,
and yanni is also my daughter ina way, but she's actually my
great niece.
(01:55):
Um, I have three granddaughters, I have one grandson and I have
a granddaughter on the way, soI will have four granddaughters
and a grandson.
Thus far I my background is Ihave a degree from the
(02:16):
University of Houston and I havea degree from UTPB my master's
from UTPB.
I am a teacher.
I also was the director ofbuilding and collection for the
city of Odessa.
At one time I decided that wasnot my love and that I really do
like people.
So I went with teaching kiddos,and my last job was my most
(02:39):
rewarding, because I was thehomebound teacher for our
pregnant and parenting teenswith the district, and so I was
able to go into their homes andlove on them and love on their
babies, all the while teachingthem, and that's pretty much who
I am.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Goodness gracious.
First of all, I don't think Ireally have a master's.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
What is your master's in?
My master's is actually ineducation.
My bachelor's is in business.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Okay, I don't know why my brain, I think, probably
because I always just didn'tknow, but I don't know why I
thought your bachelor's and yourmaster's kind of had to
somewhat, I guess align.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
You can kind of, yeah , I mean, you know it's just all
in the classes you take, butyou know's just all in the
classes you take, but yeahbusiness uh management and
teaching education.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Good to know learn something already.
All right, question number onewhat motivates you?
Speaker 3 (03:39):
what motivates me?
Um, just to do better.
You know, I'm motivated everyday to do better, to stress less
, to give more, and, uh, I wouldhave to say, my motivation is
that I grew up with parents whogave.
My mom and dad were givers,they were community people and,
(04:03):
and my dad would bring someonehome off the interstate at any
given time that he had justpicked up and he felt they
needed a meal, you know, and wewelcomed them in and he took
them back to the interstate andthey were on their way.
And then my mother served inthe community, she worked
elections, and so I guess mymotivation, even though they're
(04:24):
not here anymore, is just tomake them proud and, to you know
, give back.
When I was running for a citycouncil, um, my deal was that to
whom much is given, much isrequired, you know, you know,
and so I think we owe it back toa community that's been a good
to us, and Odessa has been agreat community to me.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
So that is another reminder to myself that my
serving Taiwan I don't want toserve is just in my blood.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
I don't really, it's just in your bloodline you can't
miss it, nope.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I don't know about picking anyone off the
interstate, though.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
I was back at a time that you could.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
I'm like I don't think I'm doing well, I'll feed
him.
We'll get him a meal for sure.
Okay, how?
Speaker 3 (05:12):
do you protect your mental health?
I protect my mental health bynumber one my relationship with
God and praying.
And prayer is really essentialin my life because I just feel
like it's something you can doall the time, anytime, every.
(05:32):
You know, when I was growing up, I thought you had to be in a
posture and you had to be onyour knees and you had to be by
your bed.
And then, as I became, as myrelationship with Christ, you
know, enlarged, my territoryincreased.
You can just pray anytime andall times and I just know that
he answers prayer.
I just know it because I'veseen it happen and I've had
(05:53):
prayers answered.
I'm still waiting on someanswers, but I've seen it.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
God's timing.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
That's what keeps me centered as well, as people
wouldn't know it, but I'm acolorer.
I like coloring books andcoloring my grandkids.
They stabilize me when I'm kindof going real wild and crazy
and my brain is going everywhich way.
(06:21):
When they come over, it's justsimple Grammy, and they just
kind of calm me down.
They show me that whatever I'mstressing about, I've got so
much to be thankful for in themand my and my girls my girls as
well, my family, but yeah yeah,whenever I go over, don't tell
(06:42):
my secrets whenever I go over tomy aunt's house and all the
grandkids are there, I be like,oof, we don't have kids here, we
don't mind them.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
But when you go from zero to about five, right, you'd
be like wait a second, hold onit does get wild and crazy when
they warm up because they don'twarm up, then you really won't
hear from them at all becausethey be a little quiet.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Yeah, but when the personalities come out, it's
crazy, but you know, I waited along time to be a grandma and
didn't know if I would be agrandma, and because all my
friends have great grandchildrenand great great grandchildren
now, yeah, and so I was kind ofwoe is me, you know, because I
didn't have grandkids, so now Ijust take full advantage of it.
(07:26):
I don't blame them.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Okay, so what about this one?
What is your self-care routine?
Speaker 3 (07:33):
My self-care routine is prayer again.
You know, taking care of myself.
Um, I like massages, so I, uh,you know when I can I get a
massage?
Um, I like to just kind of Ilike sonic, sonic drinks or
(07:53):
stars drinks.
So you know, when I need quiettime, I just kind of pull up at
Sonic or Stars by myself, get mea soda and just kind of quiet
myself and in it helps.
I'm a simple girl.
But you're forgetting one thingyour walks.
I love my walks, I do.
(08:14):
I love walking.
I don't like exercising, but Ilove, love, love walking.
I don't like exercising, but Ilove love, love walking.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Yeah, you're two miles.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
My two miles.
I'm trying to get to three now.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
I'm pushing.
Oh, okay, the first second.
She'd be like is it two miles?
Okay, we're done.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
I have a treadmill at home.
It's just not the same.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
No, I'm not as outdoors.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
I just like being out and meet, meet.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
You know I'm a people person so I meet people on the
trail and I get to talk andlearn their stories, all her
friends.
We've been walking with herrecently and they had a whole at
least 15 minute conversation.
I haven't seen you recently.
Oh, I've been here and I'm likeare we not supposed to be
working out right now?
Speaker 3 (08:51):
I know, but I, that's just who I am.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
I love people yeah it's so funny to hear that
because I'm like it's just my mynature?
Yeah, it's just in the book.
What advice would you give youryounger self?
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Oh, that's a hard one .
But if I could give advice tomy younger self, I would say
obey your parents.
They really do know.
They really do know whatthey're talking about.
And I was not a bad, badmischievous girl, but I didn't
(09:27):
listen as well as I should from.
You know, I was the kid that mymom had to come up because I
couldn't quit talking in class.
I wanted to teach the class,you know, and so, and that was a
struggle there, when I went tocollege, they really wanted me
to stay home and go to OC, youknow, and I just had to be away,
and in the big city of Houston,you know the lights, the guys,
(09:51):
the everything.
And I made some big mistakesthere, you know, and had I just
listened, and life probably, youknow it is what it is and god
already knew, but it probablywould have been a little simpler
for me, yeah, if I would have.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
So the younger self is just know that your elders
kind of do know what's what'scooking I mean, I feel like
that's probably advice that weall can tell our younger selves,
all of us, because every time II, when you're saying that
right now, it makes me think.
The first time I got marriedand I think you were trying to
(10:27):
ask me about the situation and Iwas like, yeah, it's good what
I mean?
I probably would have stoppedand actually let me ask my
questions and get some answers.
Probably wouldn't have gottenmarried the first time, but then
you know.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
I've learned and grown.
Yeah, it's all a part of theplan.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
That is actually really good advice.
There are probably no youngperson's going to take them.
Right, but, but I mean, youplanted the seed.
That's all you really can do.
Okay, so I'm probably save thatone to the last.
We'll go to the next one.
What is your mindset whenyou're told no or a door shuts?
Speaker 3 (11:08):
To me.
When I'm told no, or a doorshuts, you know, I pretty much
just find another door to open.
I mean it just there's a way todo most everything and you know
, if the door shuts, there'sbound to be another door for me.
Okay, if I don't find the door,you know I'm the kind of person
I build the door, the door.
I build my own door and open it.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
But you say give me the part for it.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Just don't stop me, you know.
But I think a closed door alsocan mean, you know, refocus, you
know, see what's in it thatmaybe shouldn't be for you, you
know, give it, analyze it, andit may truly be a no, you know,
and the door may need to shut.
I'm thankful for the doors thathave been shut, that I wanted
(11:53):
opened and they really shouldn'thave, and if it had been
allowed, it'd be a disaster.
Yeah, so you, you know, youjust have to be mature about it,
and but, but don't be afraid tofind another door to open.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Yeah, we just something about when you said
that some doors needed to beshut yeah, some, just with locks
on.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
You need to be shut and locked.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
yeah, no, you're that's true, because you know
we've been trying to still openthe doors locked Because you're
thinking about some of the stuffyou think you wanted.
And think about it now andyou're like, thank God, I did
not.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
Yeah, Even at my age I think.
I'm so glad that didn't happen.
I'm so glad I didn't get that,but at the time it was what I
wanted, I had to have it and thedoor shut and I'm thankful.
But some things you know,people said I couldn't get and I
found another door and itworked, okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
What is one moment in your life that has really
shaped you or made a huge impactin your life that has really
shaped you or made a huge impactin your life, I guess, becoming
a mother.
Yeah, that's why I saved thatquestion, because I figured that
was probably going to go intothat.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Becoming a mother, and it shaped me, it impacted me
and it continues, even thoughmy children are above 30.
Yeah, thanks for not puttingages in there Above 30.
It continues to mold me andshape me.
Yeah, because it doesn't comewith a book, and so I always
tell my oldest you know that youwere my.
Thank you for letting mepractice on you, bruh, you know.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
I feel like this is no shade, but I do feel like
every parent needs to tell theiroldest child that Uh-huh, I do
because I didn't know what I wasdoing.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
You know, I had not a clue what to do with a baby.
Once I had, I was like, okay,so we got this baby.
Now what?
How old were?
Speaker 2 (13:57):
you when you had Mariah.
I was baby.
Now what?
How old?
Speaker 3 (14:04):
were you when you had mariah.
I was 35, I think that was anolder oh you look my age.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Well, a little bit older.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
I was, I was older, you know.
It may be a few off, but yeah,I just I didn't have a clue, you
know.
And so I bring this baby homeand it's like so what do you do?
How do you mold them?
How do you build character?
How do you build integrity?
How do you build all the thingsthat you know, your mom built
in you and your aunt built inyou and your relatives built in
you?
How do you do it and whathappens if it goes wrong?
(14:29):
yeah, you know, what happens,because you can have the the
best intentions and do your best, and it still goes wrong, you
know, and so you're like okay sowhat were the first?
Speaker 2 (14:40):
I guess like let's go with the first year with mariah
, technically what you hadmariah by herself for three
years, three years, yeah thefirst year.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
it was just, it was just learning.
You know, you've got this babyum, and in my day and time you
you could tap their hands.
You know you could kind of taptheir pampers and things like
that People don't do now, but itwas just learning.
You know, the one thing Iwanted her to know, even at one,
(15:15):
is that she was loved.
You know, however, I could doit.
You know we didn't have a lotof money, but you know it didn't
take a lot.
You know, just spending timejust loving on her, protecting
her, trying to.
I'm a reading major so I reallyread to her a lot because
(15:35):
oftentimes we, we as AfricanAmericans, don't get to, in that
that time didn't get to travel.
We were fortunate to travel andtake our kids, but some don't.
But they can go so many placesthrough reading, through books,
they can travel anywhere theywant to go.
So I made sure that I washopeful that I had a foundation.
(15:57):
I probably kept her in churchway, way more than she wanted to
be there.
She was forever in church andI'm thankful that.
You know I didn't know how itwas going to turn out, but what
I didn't want is her just to bein church.
I wanted her to have arelationship and I'm thankful
today that she has arelationship with God.
(16:18):
That's important and it was,you know.
But I had good peoplesurrounding me.
I was going to say did you havea village?
Yes, I had an excellent village.
My aunt, you know, she wouldhave her over.
My mother would have her over,you know, I just it was a
village.
My husband's family would, youknow, do their part, and it
(16:39):
truly took a village.
My husband's family would dotheir part.
It truly took a village.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
What was the difference once Alicia came into
the picture?
Speaker 3 (16:50):
When Alicia came in the picture, Mariah was more
calm.
I could look at her and saydon't do that.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
She would know the look and she would kind of
comply, Alicia but I mean tothis day, for those of you that
know Alicia, alicia.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Alicia was more, uh, daring, more, uh, let me just
test the waters and see what shedoes.
So they had two distinctpersonalities, you know, but
they're they're both had theirgood personalities, you know,
but they were just distinct, youknow, yeah and then my mom was
sending me down on, uh, summersand christmas and I would just,
(17:32):
and then I had two of thosepersonalities, because you and
alicia were three apart, so Ihad those two personalities in
the same circle.
But again, the village teachers,my mom being active in the
community, everybody knew eachother and so everybody took in
(17:55):
each other's kids.
It didn't matter where or what.
In that same sense, everybodydisciplined everybody's kids.
You know, it didn't matterwhere or what, in that same
sense everybody disciplinedeverybody's kids without
retribution, without the parentcoming back and saying why did
you do this?
To my note, if, if they did it,you saw it, you disciplined it.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
don't bring it back to me you know, and I thoroughly
remember being like I went oversomeone else's house.
I was an adult.
That's how my mom had herbusiness.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
That's how it was, you know there were certain
things you did, certain thingsyou didn't do, you don't, you
know, you don't go over toanybody's house looking hungry,
you know, if they want to offeryou food, just say no, thank you
, and come home.
You know just things like that.
But it was the village and so Ireally don't think I could have
done it without a village, justthe church.
Everybody played a part in mykiddo's life.
(18:42):
Mariah lost a very good friendof hers who was a coach not long
ago in Lola Brooks and she wasa teacher there who saw some
things going on in Mariah'smiddle school and she pulled her
aside and she pulled me asideand and laid it down and, you
know, gave Mariah some keys tobe successful and I think she's
(19:04):
forever grateful for that.
But she didn't have to fear mecoming and saying, why are you
doing this?
Why are you telling my kid this?
Why it was just okay.
You know, I felt her spirit, Iknew it was good and Mariah, you
know, uh, eulogized her whenshe passed.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
It was that kind of relationship I do feel like the
respect um for most adults, butfor sure teachers, is not the
same.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
It's as what it used to be teachers loved teaching,
but they loved people and theywant they taught because you
know you don't make moneyteaching, so they taught because
they wanted to instill, theywanted to build character, they
wanted to build integrity andand they did it because of the
(19:50):
love for people.
Where now, a lot of times,unfortunately, you have people
who need jobs, yeah and but, butteaching is you can't be about
just needing a job.
You've got to be about people.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
No, because you're molding these little people.
You're molding their minds, letthem one day be the nurses, the
teachers, the doctors, thelawyers, the mechanics yeah all
of that.
So if we're letting them getaway with anything and
everything now, yeah, what kindof adults will we have?
Oh yeah, no, for sure, we'repaying for it now when you go
(20:25):
and your doctor and your nurseor your lawyer can't understand
the basic stuff.
This is, you know, one of thethings to think about well how
has your faith changed sincebeing a mom?
Speaker 3 (20:37):
since being a mom, since being a mom, mm-hmm,
because they make you pray more.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Good day.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
They make you pray more.
And so you know you have to getcloser to God so you don't do
anything to the children.
I cannot, no, it's just youknow, because I children.
I cannot, no, it's just youknow, because I knew, I know
it's so important to, um, notjust talk the talk, yeah, but
(21:08):
you have to walk the walkbecause you've got people
watching you when you getchildren, you know, and so it
wouldn't be too good for me tosay one thing at home and do
another thing at church.
So it it drew me in to saythese little people's brains are
in my hand and their littleminds about who god is and about
(21:28):
who the church is, it's.
It's up to me to kind of helpthem to form that.
And so, yeah, and then you praya whole lot more.
You know, when you're waitingup for them, and it's the
curfews at 12, and it's 12, 15,and you start praying, you know,
and you start, you know it.
(21:49):
Motherhood, no matter whetheryou're the natural-born mother
or an aunt who's being a motheror a grandmother.
You know it brings.
It brings everything out of you, mmm, everything out of you.
You know it brings, it bringseverything out of you,
everything out of you know, andyou just.
Mariah could tell you storieswhen she went to Canyon.
And if I couldn't find her bythe second phone call, I already
(22:10):
knew the security guard for thecampus and I would call him and
he would go find her.
She would would be soembarrassed.
Your mother's looking for you.
She needs to answer your phone,uh-uh.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
So, yeah, so does the worry go away as the kids get
older, because now you'reswitching hats, now you're a
grandmother and mother Right.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
I think your concern and your care and your mothering
never goes away.
You know I still care thatthey're, that they're not hurt.
I still care that they'refinancially stable.
I still care that you knownobody does them wrong.
You know, all that not not anyof that goes away, but I, as I
(22:55):
grew older and as they grewolder, I I was more able to
release them.
Okay, you know, and say God, Idid what I could, I did what you
gave me to do, yeah.
And so now I release them.
Yeah, you know, it doesn't meanI won't chase them down still
or need to know where they are,not because I'm being nosy, but
(23:17):
because I'm being protective.
But you know, it just shifts.
And now, you know, with mygrands, I feel like some of the
nurturing and the learning andall of that that's kind of on
their parents.
So I can be fun, I can be Oreocookies, I can be fruit snacks.
(23:39):
You know, I can be all of that,even though their parents don't
want me to be.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
But yeah, I do it anyway, and she definitely does
she has different flavored oreos.
I'm like, why is this even aflavor?
Because one of them?
Doesn't somebody like lemonflavor somebody?
Speaker 3 (23:52):
likes mint yeah somebody likes the plain oreos
and somebody likes chocolatechip, and then kaiser, he just
kind of the boy, he just kind ofgets whatever's there, he's,
he's good, he's good to go yeah,all those flavors, maybe the
plain ones.
That's about it, but I don'tknow but I you know,
grandparenting brings you toanother level and, like I said,
I became a grandparent olderthan most, almost all of my
(24:16):
classmates, I mean they havegreat grands now but technically
she was about the same age asyou were when you got right, but
but most of my classmates hadkids in their 20s.
So they became grandparents, youknow, and and and a lot of them
(24:39):
know married early and all that.
And so I just kind of waitedaround and thought, hmm, when am
I going to be a grandparent?
You know, when am I going to bea grandparent?
And so the Lord blessed me andnow I've got an old woman with
the shoe.
She's got so many grandkids,yeah she's got the team of them.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
But do you think, since you became a grandmother
later, do you think it allowsyou to like, I guess, have more
time for like your career and tolove on those students you were
with?
Speaker 3 (25:14):
Yeah, it did.
I got my career done, you know,and and almost finished before
the baby start coming, but and Ithink it it brings a calming,
you know, because I'm kind oflike real chill right now.
You know, and nothing they dothe grands do kind of rile me
(25:35):
where if I had more energy maybethey would rile me up and give
me on.
I'm just kind of like, okay, youwant to watch two movies, let's
watch two movies you want fouroriole, get four oriole oriole,
it's granny's house, yeah, so,um, I think probably if I had
had grandchildren when I wasyounger, you know, I'd probably
(25:57):
be the only thing that I thinkwould be different.
I'd be jet setting off withthem, you know, and taking them
here and taking them there,whereas now, when I do that, I
kind of almost prefer a parentwith me you know, and so.
But you know, the one daughteris going to have four, so we're
going to have to have a parent.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
You probably have to have both parents and then some.
What advice would you give forsomeone who's listening, who
maybe either just had theirfirst little one or is pregnant
with their first little one oris still trying that beginning
stage of motherhood?
Speaker 3 (26:36):
For those who have just had it just be patient.
It's just just be patient, it's, it's.
It's hard in the beginning.
There's a lot of adjusting,there's a lot of adjustments,
there's a lot of juggling,there's a lot going on.
There's a lot of moving partsat one time, especially if
you're a single mom, you know,and some are, and they're single
(27:00):
moms and it's just like I needmore help and you do, but it's
doable.
If you're a two parent, youknow, and you're just starting,
it's doable, you know it's.
It gets frustrating because,again, they don't come with
books, but it's doable, and thetime passes so quickly.
So I would just tell them tocherish each, each season,
(27:22):
cherish each moment, becauseyou've got the baby crying,
needing milk, and then they'regraduating from high school, you
know.
So cherish the time for thoselittle ones, those who are
pregnant now, you know it's.
Just think about what you cando to be a good example.
You know, keep them protected.
(27:44):
You know, so many times youread about moms who didn't
protect the kid and the kid.
Somehow.
It's a bad story, you know.
Just do your very best toprotect your kid, no matter what
.
You know, no matter what.
Let them know you have theirback and you have their back in
good times and in bad times, youknow, cause every time won't be
(28:05):
a wonderful time, even forChristians, parents, even for
Christians.
And so build them to where theycan.
Uh, you know, think about waysyou can build your children so
when the hard times hit or thenot, so they don't fall apart.
You know, things will happenand I think that's the important
thing with parents is that theyneed to know is that it won't
(28:26):
all be hunky dory, you know, butit's doable and you can do it.
And those who are still tryingto be mothers, you know, just
trust God, just trust God.
And it's just like everybodywon't be a wife, everybody won't
be a mom, but you can be amother to someone.
We have so many kids that needmother figures and be that.
(28:51):
And you never know thedifference that makes in someone
else.
Even if you don't birth a child, you can still mother a child.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Yeah, I think that's the space on it, I mean, if it
happens it happens.
If it doesn't, it doesn't.
But, like you said, there's somany kids, so every kid that I
kind of interact with or comeacross my path is just, you know
, love on them, encourage themand build them up and allow them
to know like, hey, I'm in yourcorner if you need me, right,
(29:22):
and then I come home to my quiethouse.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
Right, and that's the village, and God makes us all
different.
So he already knows your future.
He already knows the future ofthose mommies who are waiting to
be mommies or may for somereason not be a birth mom you
know, and Mother's Day can behard for them, you know,
understandably so.
(29:45):
But just know that if you candig really deep and you've got,
you know they've got so much togive and give it elsewhere.
Give it to those who you knowdon't have the love, don't have
the the nurturing, and you knowit truly makes a difference.
And no matter what people say,it still takes a village.
(30:06):
You know, without that villageit just, it's just not the same.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
Yeah, I.
There's a couple of people Imean, like for alicia, for
instance, only when she needs meshe really tells me she needs
me, but when she does, you knowI put it on my calendar and you
do and you don't know thedifference that makes you know,
just like you offer to me.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
you know when she delivers, you know that you're
available, you know, and thatmeans so much because as a
mother, I was trying to say howcan I be there for my daughter
when she delivers and I need tobe here for her kiddos, you know
, to make sure they're stablethat day.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
So yeah, so then I'll go and visit Alicia.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
And so it all works out.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
What do I say?
I am, I'm really company.
You know, usually when someonehas a baby, you know you go over
their house and you're like,let me hold the baby and change
it so the mother can rest.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
Nope, that ain't me, that is not you.
You can entertain the mother, Ido.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
I make sure the mom is up for the baby and I put the
pacifier in the mouth, and nowthat she has other kids, maybe
I'll take those other kids andmaybe get some ice cream or
something.
Right, right, but I, but I'mnot the one.
You leave your newborn withwhat's going to work.
If you have to, I'll be finebut if I had a choice?
Speaker 3 (31:21):
no, but it takes everybody.
It takes everybody with whatthey have to give to make it
work.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
They put me with the babies for Sunday when you're
like toddlers-ish.
But diapers still had to bechanged and they still had
bottles there are a lot and Ilooked and I was like bruh, like
toddlers-ish, but diapers stillhad to be changed and they
still had bottles there are alot and I looked and I was like
bruh.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
But guess what?
You made it?
I made some friends Becauseit's doable and you never know
the impact you're making on akid.
Yeah, you know, and that's whatI would you know, always tell
them.
Then, when I think Aaron andLadarius started teaching, you
know, I was saying, if you canjust do it for that one, you
know, and it sounds like thatone I got you know 60, 70 kids.
(32:06):
If you make a strong impact onthat one, that's planting that
seed and that they're going toremember you and they're going
to use what impacted them onsomebody else yeah, I always
thought I said hey, you'reespecially with those athletes
and stuff.
You're changing generations,changing lives yeah, she's like
(32:26):
to me, like what?
And you're touching lives.
I mean, you know, you neverknow how, but I've had so many
kids.
You know I run back into misswillis.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
You remember when I had my baby, you came to my
house yeah, we had the one thatwe met at um at her event.
That was yeah, and she stoppedyou from talking to ask you hey,
were you?
Speaker 3 (32:43):
and I was like oh gosh, yeah, and so that was one
of the most rewarding things.
You know, um is the district.
You know, we had our own littleschool for our pregnant and
parenting teens and we could, wecould.
There's two choices you canmake.
You can ignore it and play likeit didn't happen, yeah.
Or you can make it work.
And so at our campus, at TeenParent Center, we made it work.
(33:06):
You know, we saw a kid put ababy on a table and could fall.
We were there to say no, no, no, take them down, you know, and
we made a difference.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
I'm sure you did, because, especially at that age,
they're babies.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
They're babies themselves.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
It does not work at all.
What advice would you give forsomeone who they're walking into
motherhood I mean notmotherhood, I'm sorry being a
grandparent, a grandmother.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
Oh my gosh, just love on those babies.
First of all, all your smile, Imean motherhood.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
You had a smile.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
But when I say grandmother, oh my gosh, you
just love on those babies andjust pour into them positive
things.
Right now we're in a culturewhere there's so much negativity
that they're having to facethat, if you can just pour some
positivity into thosegrandbabies, attend every
(34:02):
program you can.
You know, I know some can't,but I tell you, retirement has
afforded me the opportunity, youknow, to attend the programs
and just to be there,cheerleading for them and taking
the pictures and having thesleepovers and, you know, giving
them a bunch of sugar againsttheir parents will, and just
(34:25):
just loving on those grandbabiesand knowing that you know it
would.
It would be my hope that I liveforever and so, but the the
reality is that I won't, but Iwill hope that they could go
back and say, oh, I rememberwhen Grammy did this, or I
remember Grammy said this, youknow, cause they're listening
and they're sponges right now.
(34:46):
You know, and, and even as theygrow a 10, you know, never let
them get too old where you think, oh, they don't want me in a
program, they do now.
They may not want you to holdher hand or go and acknowledge
them, and that's okay, but justthat your, the grandparents
present, makes it makes adifference.
There's things like from mygrandma and she didn't live here
(35:06):
, but whenever we would go to myhair, to my grandmother's, I
always always knew that therewould be tea cakes.
I always knew, without a doubt.
So soon as I walked into thathouse and I hugged her, I would
head to the kitchen and therewas a batch of tea cakes, I mean
, without fail, and she was thebest tea cake maker, and so I
(35:30):
remember that about my grandma.
I remember my grandma wouldjust kind of give me the look
and I would know to fall inplace.
You know, and and um, I didn'thave her here all the time, but
the time that, uh, we went thereand then when she ultimately
came here to live with my mother, we got even closer, you know,
and I knew her personality andwhat, what made her smile, and
(35:53):
you know just things like that.
And you know what my kids gotfrom their grandmother my mother
they still tell me about andyou probably remember that.
And you know what my kids gotfrom their grandmother my mother
they still tell me about andyou probably remember some
things.
You know, let me see, from mymom she was just, she was the
ultimate mother and grandmother.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
I don't know about mama, but I do remember a time
where um I think I've told thisstory before, though, but when
mariah dropped me and Alicia off, we was like two bad twins that
she didn't want to deal withand didn't come back and get us
until later on that night you'restill mad about that?
I can see yeah, I was like whatthe?
(36:32):
You gotta get over that.
But me and Alicia had fun.
We made mud pies.
We fried some eggs in themiddle of the street At
Grandma's house.
I'm trying to think what elsewe did with my mom, yep.
Speaker 3 (36:47):
You know they had rabbits and just everything.
Oh, I do remember rabbits andthat's what grandparents you
want to.
Just you know you still got tohave that discipline.
And right now I've got a littlepaper towel the inside of the
paper towel the cardboard thing,and all I have to do is touch
it and they get right.
(37:08):
So at grandma's house they gotboxes, just boxes, that stuff
came in that they love playingin.
Mom and dad want to keep houseneat and they have company
coming over and when companycomes to my house I just tell
them this is Grammy's house andso this is how it is.
(37:29):
This room is the kids' room andthey are free to play and
explore and do crafts.
I love doing crafts with them,baking with them, you know, and
so it may not be the tidiestpart of the house, but where
they stay and play.
But if my company can't acceptthat see, oh well see ya.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
She's saying adios.
That's funny.
I'm trying to think of my my.
I spent a lot of time withyounger anyway, with my dad's
mom.
She was the one that would comepick me up from school.
There's two things that Iremember.
She had a company trip toHawaii.
She took me with her to Hawaii.
(38:10):
And then she's also the samereason why I like cheeseburgers,
french fries and coke.
See, because when I was youngershe used to order whatever she
got her, she got me so I'm, I'mthe oldest grandchild, um,
between my mom and my dad.
(38:31):
Um, I think on that side, Ithink, yeah, on that side.
So I got a lot of like first,so you got spoiled, yeah.
So I remember it like thatBetween that.
And then she also introduced meto coffee, or maybe I
introduced myself to coffee onher watch, but she let me do
like sugar creamer and a littlecoffee, and to this day that's
(38:54):
what you do and that's how thatworks.
Speaker 3 (38:56):
A little coffee with your sugar creamer, yeah and and
jelly sandwiches probably a lot.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
It sounded like I was having the time of my life
actually not thinking about thatwell, it was, and that's that's
how we, as grandparents, wantedto be.
Speaker 3 (39:08):
Like there's no place like grammy's house.
We want that, you know.
And Even with discipline theythink I don't discipline them
enough.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
I don't remember getting disciplined by my
grandmother.
I also know that my mom laidthe law down.
To this day me being 34, mymother can say something in a
certain tone and I'm probablystill going to get straight line
.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
That's the same thing with my girls, they know when
enough is enough.
Grandkids know when enough isenough.
You know, grandkids know whenenough is enough.
It's hardly ever enough, butyep, that's.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
That's the Grammy life oh yeah but I will say the
other thing my grandmother isthe reason she introduced me to
church yeah and to um.
Technically it was church ofchrist, which later did not work
out for me, but that's you knowthere, but it's.
She did the introduction.
Speaker 3 (39:57):
Yes, she gave introduction for sure yeah, and,
and you know, with my kiddos, I, they love praise and worship,
the grandkids they love praiseand worship.
Uh, their parents take them tochurch and I think that's just
amazing, because to me it meansthat you know something I said
or did, even if we don't followthe same you know, at.
(40:21):
I always tell people they saywell, what, what religion are
you?
I said I love Jesus Christ andI'm a member of a Baptist church
, you know, because I just loveJesus and you know I can go.
I go where Jesus is and so butI see it in them.
You know that the kiddos, theydo their praise and worship and
(40:43):
and I'm just thankful for that,you know, because to me it's the
seed that was planted with mymother you know, as far back as
my mother taking me to church.
So I, you know, I far back as mymother taking me to church.
So I, you know, I just believethat you have to plant jesus in
them, yeah, and you don't haveto be radical, but just plant
(41:04):
jesus and let them know.
This is why you provide, thisis why you can get this, this is
why because he does, he's theprovider, you know, and they
have to know that.
Speaker 2 (41:16):
It does make a difference it makes the
difference.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
It is the difference, yeah, for sure, for sure.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
Well, one last question for you.
Uh oh, who's your favoriteniece?
I'm just, that wasn't thequestion.
Uh oh, technically I should saywho's your favorite great niece
.
But anyway, oh, it's okay, Ilove all my people, but you know
, I I keep these people.
Quite often I I think I forgetthat technically you are my
(41:42):
great aunt, because I always sayyou're my aunt and I always say
you know, granddaddy's mygrandpa.
They'd be like wait what what?
Yeah, I'm like oh, I think Imissed something here.
Sorry, I forgot a word but,yeah, they, they do.
They're like huh, they try toput it together or tell me.
I'm someone, I'm not Either one.
But anyway, for real, my lastquestion's for real, uh-oh, so
(42:04):
usually.
The quiet moment.
Usually to close out, I do aprayer, but I've been to this
new thing of allowing my gueststhat come on to kind of like
give encouragement.
So that's not just for moms,for anyone that's listening.
Whatever's on your heart, umfor you to encourage someone
listening, okay, um, just to thelisteners.
Speaker 3 (42:27):
Um, I would just encourage you to be your
authentic self, to love the lord, to not take yourself so
serious.
We are in a serious culture,sometimes a hateful culture, but
you can't be responsible foranybody but yourself.
(42:48):
You cannot be responsible forsomeone else being kind.
Be kind yourself.
You cannot be responsible forsomeone else being kind, be kind
yourself.
You cannot be responsible for,um, really anyone.
But I would just encourage youto just know that it is gonna be
okay, it's doable and we canmake it.
You know, god already knows.
(43:08):
He.
I believe that with all myheart, that he already knows how
everything's gonna turn out.
Yeah, and I have a very goodfriend who tells me and and I
use it a lot and she says, mira,god knows how to run a world.
You know, and he really does.
And so I just encouraging, and,as Mother's Day approaches, I
encourage the mothers, Iencourage the mentors, I
(43:32):
encourage those who are aunties,I encourage the mentors, I
encourage those who are aunties,I encourage those who are yet
waiting and longing to bemothers.
It's just, you know, don't giveup, just keep trusting God for
it and he'll lead you in thedirection of what his will is
for your life.
So just trust God, enjoy lifebecause life is short.
(43:52):
Just trust God, enjoy lifebecause life is short.
We've learned here lately thatlife we knew, but just having
had experienced deaths andfriends and things of that
nature lately, it's just made meknow that what you have to take
each day and just do the bestyou can, get the most you can
(44:16):
out of every day, and just justbe happy.
You know, find a reason to smileeach day.
You know, no matter what thecircumstance is, we all have
some things that we could notsmile about.
Yeah, but find some things tosmile about every day.
I tell myself, no matter whereit gets to or how it gets you
know I'm dealing with some, youknow, illnesses with my husband
it's still a reason to smileevery day, every day.
(44:37):
So I would encourage yourlisteners smile, pass that smile
on in the grocery store.
If you see somebody that'sstressing, just kind of tap them
on the shoulder if you'recomfortable doing that, and just
tell them it's going to be okay.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
Yeah, and a lot of times they respond and they
think it really will be okay Ithink a lot of people are just
waiting to be seen, and beingseen, especially by a stranger,
a lot of times takes you offguard, you know, for the first
couple of seconds.
Speaker 3 (45:05):
Then you realize oh, someone sees me somebody sees me
kind of and I matter yeah, Ithink you can kind of feel the
weight temporarily lifting offtheir shoulders.
And it matters.
It matters for me and you know,a lot of times, people who are
out there and people like me,you know you're da-da-da-da, how
(45:26):
are you?
You know, I'm always.
How are you, how are you doing,how are you today?
It matters because even whenpeople come and say, hey, how
are you?
Speaker 2 (45:33):
I'm like, oh, I'm good, you know, I'm glad you
asked, you know yeah, it doesmake a difference for sure.
Well, thank you glad it tooktwo years, six counties, four
years whatever, yeah whatever,whatever to get you on to drop
some knowledge.
Well, I hope it helps someone iswhat I hope it's helped me to
(45:55):
remember just to smile, justwith the last part, I'm sure it
will before I leave.
If no one has told you todayyou are loved, you are seen, you
are heard, you are felt, youare needed, god loves you and so
do I.
And, like my aunt said, findthe reason for you to smile and
(46:18):
remember also it's okay to notbe okay, just don't stay in it,
absolutely so peace out Bye.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
Thank you for listening to another episode of
Standing in your Truth withYanni.
And if no one told you today,you are loved, you are beautiful
, you are needed and you matter,be sure to follow on Facebook
at Standing in your TruthPodcast with Yanni.
Also on Instagram Talks withYanni.
Hello everyone, welcome to Standing In your
Truth podcast with your host,yanni.
On this podcast you'll hearYanni, family and friends having
open-ended discussions onanything from faith, finances,
relationships and how to staymotivated during life's trying
times.
Make sure to follow on allsocial media platforms.
(00:23):
The social media link is in thebio.
Sit back and get ready to enjoy.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of
Standing your Truth Podcast.
I am your host, yanni, so weare starting a new series.
We have ended, at least forright now anyway um, the life
model one we were doing.
Now we're moving on to, um,loving on moms.
(00:51):
Since may is all about mother'sday, I thought why not have
different moms come on and telltheir journey, their story and
maybe, um, encourage and upliftother mothers out there?
So I am starting with someonethat I have had on my list to
(01:13):
come on my podcast for a goodminute.
She had been dodging me andthen, you know, it all worked
out in my favor and it reallyworked out in my favor because
she walked in the door with apound cake, if you know.
You know it all worked out inmy favor and it really worked
out in my favor because shewalked in the door with a pound
cake, if you know, you know.
So, okay, I'm going to let herintroduce herself.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
I am Mara Spivey Willis.
I am Yanni's great aunt.
I'm a native Odessan.
I am the mother of two lovelydaughters, mariah and alicia,
and yanni is also my daughter ina way, but she's actually my
great niece.
(01:55):
Um, I have three granddaughters, I have one grandson and I have
a granddaughter on the way, soI will have four granddaughters
and a grandson.
Thus far I my background is Ihave a degree from the
(02:16):
University of Houston and I havea degree from UTPB my master's
from UTPB.
I am a teacher.
I also was the director ofbuilding and collection for the
city of Odessa.
At one time I decided that wasnot my love and that I really do
like people.
So I went with teaching kiddos,and my last job was my most
(02:39):
rewarding, because I was thehomebound teacher for our
pregnant and parenting teenswith the district, and so I was
able to go into their homes andlove on them and love on their
babies, all the while teachingthem, and that's pretty much who
I am.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Goodness gracious.
First of all, I don't think Ireally have a master's.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
What is your master's in?
My master's is actually ineducation.
My bachelor's is in business.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Okay, I don't know why my brain, I think, probably
because I always just didn'tknow, but I don't know why I
thought your bachelor's and yourmaster's kind of had to
somewhat, I guess align.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
You can kind of, yeah , I mean, you know it's just all
in the classes you take, butyou know's just all in the
classes you take, but yeahbusiness uh management and
teaching education.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Good to know learn something already.
All right, question number onewhat motivates you?
Speaker 3 (03:39):
what motivates me?
Um, just to do better.
You know, I'm motivated everyday to do better, to stress less
, to give more, and, uh, I wouldhave to say, my motivation is
that I grew up with parents whogave.
My mom and dad were givers,they were community people and,
(04:03):
and my dad would bring someonehome off the interstate at any
given time that he had justpicked up and he felt they
needed a meal, you know, and wewelcomed them in and he took
them back to the interstate andthey were on their way.
And then my mother served inthe community, she worked
elections, and so I guess mymotivation, even though they're
(04:24):
not here anymore, is just tomake them proud and, to you know
, give back.
When I was running for a citycouncil, um, my deal was that to
whom much is given, much isrequired, you know, you know,
and so I think we owe it back toa community that's been a good
to us, and Odessa has been agreat community to me.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
So that is another reminder to myself that my
serving Taiwan I don't want toserve is just in my blood.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
I don't really, it's just in your bloodline you can't
miss it, nope.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I don't know about picking anyone off the
interstate, though.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
I was back at a time that you could.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
I'm like I don't think I'm doing well, I'll feed
him.
We'll get him a meal for sure.
Okay, how?
Speaker 3 (05:12):
do you protect your mental health?
I protect my mental health bynumber one my relationship with
God and praying.
And prayer is really essentialin my life because I just feel
like it's something you can doall the time, anytime, every.
(05:32):
You know, when I was growing up, I thought you had to be in a
posture and you had to be onyour knees and you had to be by
your bed.
And then, as I became, as myrelationship with Christ, you
know, enlarged, my territoryincreased.
You can just pray anytime andall times and I just know that
he answers prayer.
I just know it because I'veseen it happen and I've had
(05:53):
prayers answered.
I'm still waiting on someanswers, but I've seen it.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
God's timing.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
That's what keeps me centered as well, as people
wouldn't know it, but I'm acolorer.
I like coloring books andcoloring my grandkids.
They stabilize me when I'm kindof going real wild and crazy
and my brain is going everywhich way.
(06:21):
When they come over, it's justsimple Grammy, and they just
kind of calm me down.
They show me that whatever I'mstressing about, I've got so
much to be thankful for in themand my and my girls my girls as
well, my family, but yeah yeah,whenever I go over, don't tell
(06:42):
my secrets whenever I go over tomy aunt's house and all the
grandkids are there, I be like,oof, we don't have kids here, we
don't mind them.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
But when you go from zero to about five, right, you'd
be like wait a second, hold onit does get wild and crazy when
they warm up because they don'twarm up, then you really won't
hear from them at all becausethey be a little quiet.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Yeah, but when the personalities come out, it's
crazy, but you know, I waited along time to be a grandma and
didn't know if I would be agrandma, and because all my
friends have great grandchildrenand great great grandchildren
now, yeah, and so I was kind ofwoe is me, you know, because I
didn't have grandkids, so now Ijust take full advantage of it.
(07:26):
I don't blame them.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Okay, so what about this one?
What is your self-care routine?
Speaker 3 (07:33):
My self-care routine is prayer again.
You know, taking care of myself.
Um, I like massages, so I, uh,you know when I can I get a
massage?
Um, I like to just kind of Ilike sonic, sonic drinks or
(07:53):
stars drinks.
So you know, when I need quiettime, I just kind of pull up at
Sonic or Stars by myself, get mea soda and just kind of quiet
myself and in it helps.
I'm a simple girl.
But you're forgetting one thingyour walks.
I love my walks, I do.
(08:14):
I love walking.
I don't like exercising, but Ilove, love, love walking.
I don't like exercising, but Ilove love, love walking.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Yeah, you're two miles.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
My two miles.
I'm trying to get to three now.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
I'm pushing.
Oh, okay, the first second.
She'd be like is it two miles?
Okay, we're done.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
I have a treadmill at home.
It's just not the same.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
No, I'm not as outdoors.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
I just like being out and meet, meet.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
You know I'm a people person so I meet people on the
trail and I get to talk andlearn their stories, all her
friends.
We've been walking with herrecently and they had a whole at
least 15 minute conversation.
I haven't seen you recently.
Oh, I've been here and I'm likeare we not supposed to be
working out right now?
Speaker 3 (08:51):
I know, but I, that's just who I am.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
I love people yeah it's so funny to hear that
because I'm like it's just my mynature?
Yeah, it's just in the book.
What advice would you give youryounger self?
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Oh, that's a hard one .
But if I could give advice tomy younger self, I would say
obey your parents.
They really do know.
They really do know whatthey're talking about.
And I was not a bad, badmischievous girl, but I didn't
(09:27):
listen as well as I should from.
You know, I was the kid that mymom had to come up because I
couldn't quit talking in class.
I wanted to teach the class,you know, and so, and that was a
struggle there, when I went tocollege, they really wanted me
to stay home and go to OC, youknow, and I just had to be away,
and in the big city of Houston,you know the lights, the guys,
(09:51):
the everything.
And I made some big mistakesthere, you know, and had I just
listened, and life probably, youknow it is what it is and god
already knew, but it probablywould have been a little simpler
for me, yeah, if I would have.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
So the younger self is just know that your elders
kind of do know what's what'scooking I mean, I feel like
that's probably advice that weall can tell our younger selves,
all of us, because every time II, when you're saying that
right now, it makes me think.
The first time I got marriedand I think you were trying to
(10:27):
ask me about the situation and Iwas like, yeah, it's good what
I mean?
I probably would have stoppedand actually let me ask my
questions and get some answers.
Probably wouldn't have gottenmarried the first time, but then
you know.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
I've learned and grown.
Yeah, it's all a part of theplan.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
That is actually really good advice.
There are probably no youngperson's going to take them.
Right, but, but I mean, youplanted the seed.
That's all you really can do.
Okay, so I'm probably save thatone to the last.
We'll go to the next one.
What is your mindset whenyou're told no or a door shuts?
Speaker 3 (11:08):
To me.
When I'm told no, or a doorshuts, you know, I pretty much
just find another door to open.
I mean it just there's a way todo most everything and you know
, if the door shuts, there'sbound to be another door for me.
Okay, if I don't find the door,you know I'm the kind of person
I build the door, the door.
I build my own door and open it.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
But you say give me the part for it.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Just don't stop me, you know.
But I think a closed door alsocan mean, you know, refocus, you
know, see what's in it thatmaybe shouldn't be for you, you
know, give it, analyze it, andit may truly be a no, you know,
and the door may need to shut.
I'm thankful for the doors thathave been shut, that I wanted
(11:53):
opened and they really shouldn'thave, and if it had been
allowed, it'd be a disaster.
Yeah, so you, you know, youjust have to be mature about it,
and but, but don't be afraid tofind another door to open.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Yeah, we just something about when you said
that some doors needed to beshut yeah, some, just with locks
on.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
You need to be shut and locked.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
yeah, no, you're that's true, because you know
we've been trying to still openthe doors locked Because you're
thinking about some of the stuffyou think you wanted.
And think about it now andyou're like, thank God, I did
not.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
Yeah, Even at my age I think.
I'm so glad that didn't happen.
I'm so glad I didn't get that,but at the time it was what I
wanted, I had to have it and thedoor shut and I'm thankful.
But some things you know,people said I couldn't get and I
found another door and itworked, okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
What is one moment in your life that has really
shaped you or made a huge impactin your life that has really
shaped you or made a huge impactin your life, I guess, becoming
a mother.
Yeah, that's why I saved thatquestion, because I figured that
was probably going to go intothat.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Becoming a mother, and it shaped me, it impacted me
and it continues, even thoughmy children are above 30.
Yeah, thanks for not puttingages in there Above 30.
It continues to mold me andshape me.
Yeah, because it doesn't comewith a book, and so I always
tell my oldest you know that youwere my.
Thank you for letting mepractice on you, bruh, you know.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
I feel like this is no shade, but I do feel like
every parent needs to tell theiroldest child that Uh-huh, I do
because I didn't know what I wasdoing.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
You know, I had not a clue what to do with a baby.
Once I had, I was like, okay,so we got this baby.
Now what?
How old were?
Speaker 2 (13:57):
you when you had Mariah.
I was baby.
Now what?
How old?
Speaker 3 (14:04):
were you when you had mariah.
I was 35, I think that was anolder oh you look my age.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Well, a little bit older.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
I was, I was older, you know.
It may be a few off, but yeah,I just I didn't have a clue, you
know.
And so I bring this baby homeand it's like so what do you do?
How do you mold them?
How do you build character?
How do you build integrity?
How do you build all the thingsthat you know, your mom built
in you and your aunt built inyou and your relatives built in
you?
How do you do it and whathappens if it goes wrong?
(14:29):
yeah, you know, what happens,because you can have the the
best intentions and do your best, and it still goes wrong, you
know, and so you're like okay sowhat were the first?
Speaker 2 (14:40):
I guess like let's go with the first year with mariah
, technically what you hadmariah by herself for three
years, three years, yeah thefirst year.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
it was just, it was just learning.
You know, you've got this babyum, and in my day and time you
you could tap their hands.
You know you could kind of taptheir pampers and things like
that People don't do now, but itwas just learning.
You know, the one thing Iwanted her to know, even at one,
(15:15):
is that she was loved.
You know, however, I could doit.
You know we didn't have a lotof money, but you know it didn't
take a lot.
You know, just spending timejust loving on her, protecting
her, trying to.
I'm a reading major so I reallyread to her a lot because
(15:35):
oftentimes we, we as AfricanAmericans, don't get to, in that
that time didn't get to travel.
We were fortunate to travel andtake our kids, but some don't.
But they can go so many placesthrough reading, through books,
they can travel anywhere theywant to go.
So I made sure that I washopeful that I had a foundation.
(15:57):
I probably kept her in churchway, way more than she wanted to
be there.
She was forever in church andI'm thankful that.
You know I didn't know how itwas going to turn out, but what
I didn't want is her just to bein church.
I wanted her to have arelationship and I'm thankful
today that she has arelationship with God.
(16:18):
That's important and it was,you know.
But I had good peoplesurrounding me.
I was going to say did you havea village?
Yes, I had an excellent village.
My aunt, you know, she wouldhave her over.
My mother would have her over,you know, I just it was a
village.
My husband's family would, youknow, do their part, and it
(16:39):
truly took a village.
My husband's family would dotheir part.
It truly took a village.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
What was the difference once Alicia came into
the picture?
Speaker 3 (16:50):
When Alicia came in the picture, Mariah was more
calm.
I could look at her and saydon't do that.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
She would know the look and she would kind of
comply, Alicia but I mean tothis day, for those of you that
know Alicia, alicia.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Alicia was more, uh, daring, more, uh, let me just
test the waters and see what shedoes.
So they had two distinctpersonalities, you know, but
they're they're both had theirgood personalities, you know,
but they were just distinct, youknow, yeah and then my mom was
sending me down on, uh, summersand christmas and I would just,
(17:32):
and then I had two of thosepersonalities, because you and
alicia were three apart, so Ihad those two personalities in
the same circle.
But again, the village teachers,my mom being active in the
community, everybody knew eachother and so everybody took in
(17:55):
each other's kids.
It didn't matter where or what.
In that same sense, everybodydisciplined everybody's kids.
You know, it didn't matterwhere or what, in that same
sense everybody disciplinedeverybody's kids without
retribution, without the parentcoming back and saying why did
you do this?
To my note, if, if they did it,you saw it, you disciplined it.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
don't bring it back to me you know, and I thoroughly
remember being like I went oversomeone else's house.
I was an adult.
That's how my mom had herbusiness.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
That's how it was, you know there were certain
things you did, certain thingsyou didn't do, you don't, you
know, you don't go over toanybody's house looking hungry,
you know, if they want to offeryou food, just say no, thank you
, and come home.
You know just things like that.
But it was the village and so Ireally don't think I could have
done it without a village, justthe church.
Everybody played a part in mykiddo's life.
(18:42):
Mariah lost a very good friendof hers who was a coach not long
ago in Lola Brooks and she wasa teacher there who saw some
things going on in Mariah'smiddle school and she pulled her
aside and she pulled me asideand and laid it down and, you
know, gave Mariah some keys tobe successful and I think she's
(19:04):
forever grateful for that.
But she didn't have to fear mecoming and saying, why are you
doing this?
Why are you telling my kid this?
Why it was just okay.
You know, I felt her spirit, Iknew it was good and Mariah, you
know, uh, eulogized her whenshe passed.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
It was that kind of relationship I do feel like the
respect um for most adults, butfor sure teachers, is not the
same.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
It's as what it used to be teachers loved teaching,
but they loved people and theywant they taught because you
know you don't make moneyteaching, so they taught because
they wanted to instill, theywanted to build character, they
wanted to build integrity andand they did it because of the
(19:50):
love for people.
Where now, a lot of times,unfortunately, you have people
who need jobs, yeah and but, butteaching is you can't be about
just needing a job.
You've got to be about people.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
No, because you're molding these little people.
You're molding their minds, letthem one day be the nurses, the
teachers, the doctors, thelawyers, the mechanics yeah all
of that.
So if we're letting them getaway with anything and
everything now, yeah, what kindof adults will we have?
Oh yeah, no, for sure, we'repaying for it now when you go
(20:25):
and your doctor and your nurseor your lawyer can't understand
the basic stuff.
This is, you know, one of thethings to think about well how
has your faith changed sincebeing a mom?
Speaker 3 (20:37):
since being a mom, since being a mom, mm-hmm,
because they make you pray more.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Good day.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
They make you pray more.
And so you know you have to getcloser to God so you don't do
anything to the children.
I cannot, no, it's just youknow, because I children.
I cannot, no, it's just youknow, because I knew, I know
it's so important to, um, notjust talk the talk, yeah, but
(21:08):
you have to walk the walkbecause you've got people
watching you when you getchildren, you know, and so it
wouldn't be too good for me tosay one thing at home and do
another thing at church.
So it it drew me in to saythese little people's brains are
in my hand and their littleminds about who god is and about
(21:28):
who the church is, it's.
It's up to me to kind of helpthem to form that.
And so, yeah, and then you praya whole lot more.
You know, when you're waitingup for them, and it's the
curfews at 12, and it's 12, 15,and you start praying, you know,
and you start, you know it.
(21:49):
Motherhood, no matter whetheryou're the natural-born mother
or an aunt who's being a motheror a grandmother.
You know it brings.
It brings everything out of you, mmm, everything out of you.
You know it brings, it bringseverything out of you,
everything out of you know, andyou just.
Mariah could tell you storieswhen she went to Canyon.
And if I couldn't find her bythe second phone call, I already
(22:10):
knew the security guard for thecampus and I would call him and
he would go find her.
She would would be soembarrassed.
Your mother's looking for you.
She needs to answer your phone,uh-uh.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
So, yeah, so does the worry go away as the kids get
older, because now you'reswitching hats, now you're a
grandmother and mother Right.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
I think your concern and your care and your mothering
never goes away.
You know I still care thatthey're, that they're not hurt.
I still care that they'refinancially stable.
I still care that you knownobody does them wrong.
You know, all that not not anyof that goes away, but I, as I
(22:55):
grew older and as they grewolder, I I was more able to
release them.
Okay, you know, and say God, Idid what I could, I did what you
gave me to do, yeah.
And so now I release them.
Yeah, you know, it doesn't meanI won't chase them down still
or need to know where they are,not because I'm being nosy, but
(23:17):
because I'm being protective.
But you know, it just shifts.
And now, you know, with mygrands, I feel like some of the
nurturing and the learning andall of that that's kind of on
their parents.
So I can be fun, I can be Oreocookies, I can be fruit snacks.
(23:39):
You know, I can be all of that,even though their parents don't
want me to be.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
But yeah, I do it anyway, and she definitely does
she has different flavored oreos.
I'm like, why is this even aflavor?
Because one of them?
Doesn't somebody like lemonflavor somebody?
Speaker 3 (23:52):
likes mint yeah somebody likes the plain oreos
and somebody likes chocolatechip, and then kaiser, he just
kind of the boy, he just kind ofgets whatever's there, he's,
he's good, he's good to go yeah,all those flavors, maybe the
plain ones.
That's about it, but I don'tknow but I you know,
grandparenting brings you toanother level and, like I said,
I became a grandparent olderthan most, almost all of my
(24:16):
classmates, I mean they havegreat grands now but technically
she was about the same age asyou were when you got right, but
but most of my classmates hadkids in their 20s.
So they became grandparents, youknow, and and and a lot of them
(24:39):
know married early and all that.
And so I just kind of waitedaround and thought, hmm, when am
I going to be a grandparent?
You know, when am I going to bea grandparent?
And so the Lord blessed me andnow I've got an old woman with
the shoe.
She's got so many grandkids,yeah she's got the team of them.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
But do you think, since you became a grandmother
later, do you think it allowsyou to like, I guess, have more
time for like your career and tolove on those students you were
with?
Speaker 3 (25:14):
Yeah, it did.
I got my career done, you know,and and almost finished before
the baby start coming, but and Ithink it it brings a calming,
you know, because I'm kind oflike real chill right now.
You know, and nothing they dothe grands do kind of rile me
(25:35):
where if I had more energy maybethey would rile me up and give
me on.
I'm just kind of like, okay, youwant to watch two movies, let's
watch two movies you want fouroriole, get four oriole oriole,
it's granny's house, yeah, so,um, I think probably if I had
had grandchildren when I wasyounger, you know, I'd probably
(25:57):
be the only thing that I thinkwould be different.
I'd be jet setting off withthem, you know, and taking them
here and taking them there,whereas now, when I do that, I
kind of almost prefer a parentwith me you know, and so.
But you know, the one daughteris going to have four, so we're
going to have to have a parent.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
You probably have to have both parents and then some.
What advice would you give forsomeone who's listening, who
maybe either just had theirfirst little one or is pregnant
with their first little one oris still trying that beginning
stage of motherhood?
Speaker 3 (26:36):
For those who have just had it just be patient.
It's just just be patient, it's, it's.
It's hard in the beginning.
There's a lot of adjusting,there's a lot of adjustments,
there's a lot of juggling,there's a lot going on.
There's a lot of moving partsat one time, especially if
you're a single mom, you know,and some are, and they're single
(27:00):
moms and it's just like I needmore help and you do, but it's
doable.
If you're a two parent, youknow, and you're just starting,
it's doable, you know it's.
It gets frustrating because,again, they don't come with
books, but it's doable, and thetime passes so quickly.
So I would just tell them tocherish each, each season,
(27:22):
cherish each moment, becauseyou've got the baby crying,
needing milk, and then they'regraduating from high school, you
know.
So cherish the time for thoselittle ones, those who are
pregnant now, you know it's.
Just think about what you cando to be a good example.
You know, keep them protected.
(27:44):
You know, so many times youread about moms who didn't
protect the kid and the kid.
Somehow.
It's a bad story, you know.
Just do your very best toprotect your kid, no matter what
.
You know, no matter what.
Let them know you have theirback and you have their back in
good times and in bad times, youknow, cause every time won't be
(28:05):
a wonderful time, even forChristians, parents, even for
Christians.
And so build them to where theycan.
Uh, you know, think about waysyou can build your children so
when the hard times hit or thenot, so they don't fall apart.
You know, things will happenand I think that's the important
thing with parents is that theyneed to know is that it won't
(28:26):
all be hunky dory, you know, butit's doable and you can do it.
And those who are still tryingto be mothers, you know, just
trust God, just trust God.
And it's just like everybodywon't be a wife, everybody won't
be a mom, but you can be amother to someone.
We have so many kids that needmother figures and be that.
(28:51):
And you never know thedifference that makes in someone
else.
Even if you don't birth a child, you can still mother a child.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Yeah, I think that's the space on it, I mean, if it
happens it happens.
If it doesn't, it doesn't.
But, like you said, there's somany kids, so every kid that I
kind of interact with or comeacross my path is just, you know
, love on them, encourage themand build them up and allow them
to know like, hey, I'm in yourcorner if you need me, right,
(29:22):
and then I come home to my quiethouse.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
Right, and that's the village, and God makes us all
different.
So he already knows your future.
He already knows the future ofthose mommies who are waiting to
be mommies or may for somereason not be a birth mom you
know, and Mother's Day can behard for them, you know,
understandably so.
(29:45):
But just know that if you candig really deep and you've got,
you know they've got so much togive and give it elsewhere.
Give it to those who you knowdon't have the love, don't have
the the nurturing, and you knowit truly makes a difference.
And no matter what people say,it still takes a village.
(30:06):
You know, without that villageit just, it's just not the same.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
Yeah, I.
There's a couple of people Imean, like for alicia, for
instance, only when she needs meshe really tells me she needs
me, but when she does, you knowI put it on my calendar and you
do and you don't know thedifference that makes you know,
just like you offer to me.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
you know when she delivers, you know that you're
available, you know, and thatmeans so much because as a
mother, I was trying to say howcan I be there for my daughter
when she delivers and I need tobe here for her kiddos, you know
, to make sure they're stablethat day.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
So yeah, so then I'll go and visit Alicia.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
And so it all works out.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
What do I say?
I am, I'm really company.
You know, usually when someonehas a baby, you know you go over
their house and you're like,let me hold the baby and change
it so the mother can rest.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
Nope, that ain't me, that is not you.
You can entertain the mother, Ido.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
I make sure the mom is up for the baby and I put the
pacifier in the mouth, and nowthat she has other kids, maybe
I'll take those other kids andmaybe get some ice cream or
something.
Right, right, but I, but I'mnot the one.
You leave your newborn withwhat's going to work.
If you have to, I'll be finebut if I had a choice?
Speaker 3 (31:21):
no, but it takes everybody.
It takes everybody with whatthey have to give to make it
work.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
They put me with the babies for Sunday when you're
like toddlers-ish.
But diapers still had to bechanged and they still had
bottles there are a lot and Ilooked and I was like bruh, like
toddlers-ish, but diapers stillhad to be changed and they
still had bottles there are alot and I looked and I was like
bruh.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
But guess what?
You made it?
I made some friends Becauseit's doable and you never know
the impact you're making on akid.
Yeah, you know, and that's whatI would you know, always tell
them.
Then, when I think Aaron andLadarius started teaching, you
know, I was saying, if you canjust do it for that one, you
know, and it sounds like thatone I got you know 60, 70 kids.
(32:06):
If you make a strong impact onthat one, that's planting that
seed and that they're going toremember you and they're going
to use what impacted them onsomebody else yeah, I always
thought I said hey, you'reespecially with those athletes
and stuff.
You're changing generations,changing lives yeah, she's like
(32:26):
to me, like what?
And you're touching lives.
I mean, you know, you neverknow how, but I've had so many
kids.
You know I run back into misswillis.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
You remember when I had my baby, you came to my
house yeah, we had the one thatwe met at um at her event.
That was yeah, and she stoppedyou from talking to ask you hey,
were you?
Speaker 3 (32:43):
and I was like oh gosh, yeah, and so that was one
of the most rewarding things.
You know, um is the district.
You know, we had our own littleschool for our pregnant and
parenting teens and we could, wecould.
There's two choices you canmake.
You can ignore it and play likeit didn't happen, yeah.
Or you can make it work.
And so at our campus, at TeenParent Center, we made it work.
(33:06):
You know, we saw a kid put ababy on a table and could fall.
We were there to say no, no, no, take them down, you know, and
we made a difference.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
I'm sure you did, because, especially at that age,
they're babies.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
They're babies themselves.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
It does not work at all.
What advice would you give forsomeone who they're walking into
motherhood I mean notmotherhood, I'm sorry being a
grandparent, a grandmother.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
Oh my gosh, just love on those babies.
First of all, all your smile, Imean motherhood.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
You had a smile.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
But when I say grandmother, oh my gosh, you
just love on those babies andjust pour into them positive
things.
Right now we're in a culturewhere there's so much negativity
that they're having to facethat, if you can just pour some
positivity into thosegrandbabies, attend every
(34:02):
program you can.
You know, I know some can't,but I tell you, retirement has
afforded me the opportunity, youknow, to attend the programs
and just to be there,cheerleading for them and taking
the pictures and having thesleepovers and, you know, giving
them a bunch of sugar againsttheir parents will, and just
(34:25):
just loving on those grandbabiesand knowing that you know it
would.
It would be my hope that I liveforever and so, but the the
reality is that I won't, but Iwill hope that they could go
back and say, oh, I rememberwhen Grammy did this, or I
remember Grammy said this, youknow, cause they're listening
and they're sponges right now.
(34:46):
You know, and, and even as theygrow a 10, you know, never let
them get too old where you think, oh, they don't want me in a
program, they do now.
They may not want you to holdher hand or go and acknowledge
them, and that's okay, but justthat your, the grandparents
present, makes it makes adifference.
There's things like from mygrandma and she didn't live here
(35:06):
, but whenever we would go to myhair, to my grandmother's, I
always always knew that therewould be tea cakes.
I always knew, without a doubt.
So soon as I walked into thathouse and I hugged her, I would
head to the kitchen and therewas a batch of tea cakes, I mean
, without fail, and she was thebest tea cake maker, and so I
(35:30):
remember that about my grandma.
I remember my grandma wouldjust kind of give me the look
and I would know to fall inplace.
You know, and and um, I didn'thave her here all the time, but
the time that, uh, we went thereand then when she ultimately
came here to live with my mother, we got even closer, you know,
and I knew her personality andwhat, what made her smile, and
(35:53):
you know just things like that.
And you know what my kids gotfrom their grandmother my mother
they still tell me about andyou probably remember that.
And you know what my kids gotfrom their grandmother my mother
they still tell me about andyou probably remember some
things.
You know, let me see, from mymom she was just, she was the
ultimate mother and grandmother.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
I don't know about mama, but I do remember a time
where um I think I've told thisstory before, though, but when
mariah dropped me and Alicia off, we was like two bad twins that
she didn't want to deal withand didn't come back and get us
until later on that night you'restill mad about that?
I can see yeah, I was like whatthe?
(36:32):
You gotta get over that.
But me and Alicia had fun.
We made mud pies.
We fried some eggs in themiddle of the street At
Grandma's house.
I'm trying to think what elsewe did with my mom, yep.
Speaker 3 (36:47):
You know they had rabbits and just everything.
Oh, I do remember rabbits andthat's what grandparents you
want to.
Just you know you still got tohave that discipline.
And right now I've got a littlepaper towel the inside of the
paper towel the cardboard thing,and all I have to do is touch
it and they get right.
(37:08):
So at grandma's house they gotboxes, just boxes, that stuff
came in that they love playingin.
Mom and dad want to keep houseneat and they have company
coming over and when companycomes to my house I just tell
them this is Grammy's house andso this is how it is.
(37:29):
This room is the kids' room andthey are free to play and
explore and do crafts.
I love doing crafts with them,baking with them, you know, and
so it may not be the tidiestpart of the house, but where
they stay and play.
But if my company can't acceptthat see, oh well see ya.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
She's saying adios.
That's funny.
I'm trying to think of my my.
I spent a lot of time withyounger anyway, with my dad's
mom.
She was the one that would comepick me up from school.
There's two things that Iremember.
She had a company trip toHawaii.
She took me with her to Hawaii.
(38:10):
And then she's also the samereason why I like cheeseburgers,
french fries and coke.
See, because when I was youngershe used to order whatever she
got her, she got me so I'm, I'mthe oldest grandchild, um,
between my mom and my dad.
(38:31):
Um, I think on that side, Ithink, yeah, on that side.
So I got a lot of like first,so you got spoiled, yeah.
So I remember it like thatBetween that.
And then she also introduced meto coffee, or maybe I
introduced myself to coffee onher watch, but she let me do
like sugar creamer and a littlecoffee, and to this day that's
(38:54):
what you do and that's how thatworks.
Speaker 3 (38:56):
A little coffee with your sugar creamer, yeah and and
jelly sandwiches probably a lot.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
It sounded like I was having the time of my life
actually not thinking about thatwell, it was, and that's that's
how we, as grandparents, wantedto be.
Speaker 3 (39:08):
Like there's no place like grammy's house.
We want that, you know.
And Even with discipline theythink I don't discipline them
enough.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
I don't remember getting disciplined by my
grandmother.
I also know that my mom laidthe law down.
To this day me being 34, mymother can say something in a
certain tone and I'm probablystill going to get straight line
.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
That's the same thing with my girls, they know when
enough is enough.
Grandkids know when enough isenough.
You know, grandkids know whenenough is enough.
It's hardly ever enough, butyep, that's.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
That's the Grammy life oh yeah but I will say the
other thing my grandmother isthe reason she introduced me to
church yeah and to um.
Technically it was church ofchrist, which later did not work
out for me, but that's you knowthere, but it's.
She did the introduction.
Speaker 3 (39:57):
Yes, she gave introduction for sure yeah, and,
and you know, with my kiddos, I, they love praise and worship,
the grandkids they love praiseand worship.
Uh, their parents take them tochurch and I think that's just
amazing, because to me it meansthat you know something I said
or did, even if we don't followthe same you know, at.
(40:21):
I always tell people they saywell, what, what religion are
you?
I said I love Jesus Christ andI'm a member of a Baptist church
, you know, because I just loveJesus and you know I can go.
I go where Jesus is and so butI see it in them.
You know that the kiddos, theydo their praise and worship and
(40:43):
and I'm just thankful for that,you know, because to me it's the
seed that was planted with mymother you know, as far back as
my mother taking me to church.
So I, you know, I far back as mymother taking me to church.
So I, you know, I just believethat you have to plant jesus in
them, yeah, and you don't haveto be radical, but just plant
(41:04):
jesus and let them know.
This is why you provide, thisis why you can get this, this is
why because he does, he's theprovider, you know, and they
have to know that.
Speaker 2 (41:16):
It does make a difference it makes the
difference.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
It is the difference, yeah, for sure, for sure.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
Well, one last question for you.
Uh oh, who's your favoriteniece?
I'm just, that wasn't thequestion.
Uh oh, technically I should saywho's your favorite great niece
.
But anyway, oh, it's okay, Ilove all my people, but you know
, I I keep these people.
Quite often I I think I forgetthat technically you are my
(41:42):
great aunt, because I always sayyou're my aunt and I always say
you know, granddaddy's mygrandpa.
They'd be like wait what what?
Yeah, I'm like oh, I think Imissed something here.
Sorry, I forgot a word but,yeah, they, they do.
They're like huh, they try toput it together or tell me.
I'm someone, I'm not Either one.
But anyway, for real, my lastquestion's for real, uh-oh, so
(42:04):
usually.
The quiet moment.
Usually to close out, I do aprayer, but I've been to this
new thing of allowing my gueststhat come on to kind of like
give encouragement.
So that's not just for moms,for anyone that's listening.
Whatever's on your heart, umfor you to encourage someone
listening, okay, um, just to thelisteners.
Speaker 3 (42:27):
Um, I would just encourage you to be your
authentic self, to love the lord, to not take yourself so
serious.
We are in a serious culture,sometimes a hateful culture, but
you can't be responsible foranybody but yourself.
(42:48):
You cannot be responsible forsomeone else being kind.
Be kind yourself.
You cannot be responsible forsomeone else being kind, be kind
yourself.
You cannot be responsible for,um, really anyone.
But I would just encourage youto just know that it is gonna be
okay, it's doable and we canmake it.
You know, god already knows.
(43:08):
He.
I believe that with all myheart, that he already knows how
everything's gonna turn out.
Yeah, and I have a very goodfriend who tells me and and I
use it a lot and she says, mira,god knows how to run a world.
You know, and he really does.
And so I just encouraging, and,as Mother's Day approaches, I
encourage the mothers, Iencourage the mentors, I
(43:32):
encourage those who are aunties,I encourage the mentors, I
encourage those who are aunties,I encourage those who are yet
waiting and longing to bemothers.
It's just, you know, don't giveup, just keep trusting God for
it and he'll lead you in thedirection of what his will is
for your life.
So just trust God, enjoy lifebecause life is short.
(43:52):
Just trust God, enjoy lifebecause life is short.
We've learned here lately thatlife we knew, but just having
had experienced deaths andfriends and things of that
nature lately, it's just made meknow that what you have to take
each day and just do the bestyou can, get the most you can
(44:16):
out of every day, and just justbe happy.
You know, find a reason to smileeach day.
You know, no matter what thecircumstance is, we all have
some things that we could notsmile about.
Yeah, but find some things tosmile about every day.
I tell myself, no matter whereit gets to or how it gets you
know I'm dealing with some, youknow, illnesses with my husband
it's still a reason to smileevery day, every day.
(44:37):
So I would encourage yourlisteners smile, pass that smile
on in the grocery store.
If you see somebody that'sstressing, just kind of tap them
on the shoulder if you'recomfortable doing that, and just
tell them it's going to be okay.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
Yeah, and a lot of times they respond and they
think it really will be okay Ithink a lot of people are just
waiting to be seen, and beingseen, especially by a stranger,
a lot of times takes you offguard, you know, for the first
couple of seconds.
Speaker 3 (45:05):
Then you realize oh, someone sees me somebody sees me
kind of and I matter yeah, Ithink you can kind of feel the
weight temporarily lifting offtheir shoulders.
And it matters.
It matters for me and you know,a lot of times, people who are
out there and people like me,you know you're da-da-da-da, how
(45:26):
are you?
You know, I'm always.
How are you, how are you doing,how are you today?
It matters because even whenpeople come and say, hey, how
are you?
Speaker 2 (45:33):
I'm like, oh, I'm good, you know, I'm glad you
asked, you know yeah, it doesmake a difference for sure.
Well, thank you glad it tooktwo years, six counties, four
years whatever, yeah whatever,whatever to get you on to drop
some knowledge.
Well, I hope it helps someone iswhat I hope it's helped me to
(45:55):
remember just to smile, justwith the last part, I'm sure it
will before I leave.
If no one has told you todayyou are loved, you are seen, you
are heard, you are felt, youare needed, god loves you and so
do I.
And, like my aunt said, findthe reason for you to smile and
(46:18):
remember also it's okay to notbe okay, just don't stay in it,
absolutely so peace out Bye.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
Thank you for listening to another episode of
Standing in your Truth withYanni.
And if no one told you today,you are loved, you are beautiful
, you are needed and you matter,be sure to follow on Facebook
at Standing in your TruthPodcast with Yanni.
Also on Instagram Talks withYanni.
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