April 18, 2025 • 35 mins
Aaron Thomas joins Yanni for a profoundly honest conversation about living authentically and protecting your mental health. The episode opens with Aaron sharing his unique perspective on motivation—acknowledging life's finite nature pushes him to maximize each day and fulfill his purpose. "My motivation comes from my fear of dying and not doing all that God has called me to do," he reveals, setting the tone for a discussion that moves beyond surface-level advice.
The conversation takes a deep dive into mental wellbeing as Aaron explains the importance of surrounding yourself with people who genuinely see you while distancing from those who consistently drain your energy without replenishing it. This philosophy extends to his approach to relationships, where he presents the thought-provoking concept of "mutual using"—the idea that healthy relationships involve reciprocal exchange that benefits both parties.
At the heart of the episode is Aaron's transformative life motto: "Do not hide, protect, defend or prove who you are to anyone." This powerful statement becomes a framework for authentic living that has freed him from exhausting cycles of people-pleasing and seeking external validation. Aaron and Yanni explore how this mindset has strengthened their marriage, improved their mental health, and deepened their faith by allowing genuine vulnerability and growth.
The discussion culminates with Aaron's compelling work mentoring at-risk youth and his passionate encouragement to stop running from difficult emotions. "It's okay to not be okay," he reminds listeners, emphasizing that true healing begins with sitting with uncomfortable feelings rather than avoiding them. Whether you're struggling with boundary-setting, searching for purpose, or working to build authentic relationships, this episode offers wisdom that will resonate long after you finish listening.
Subscribe now for more conversations that blend practical advice, spiritual insights, and authentic stories that remind us of the power of standing in our truth.
Standing In Your Truth Podcast with Yanni Thomas
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello everyone, welcome to Standing In your
Truth podcast with your host,yanni.
On this podcast you'll hearYanni, family and friends having
open-ended discussions onanything from faith, finances,
relationships and how to staymotivated during life's trying
times.
Make sure to follow on allsocial media platforms.
(00:23):
The social media link is in thebio.
Sit back and get ready to enjoy.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Hello everyone, Welcome to another episode of
Standing in Gertrude's Podcast.
I am your host, Stigone.
I'm going to apologize inadvance for this podcast episode
.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
I have why are you apologizing?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Because I can already tell this is going to be
interesting.
He's been flashing a flashlightin my eyes and making the what
is that thing called?
Speaker 3 (01:00):
The help noise from OC.
No prime blending.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Goodness.
Anyway, he's sitting hereplaying the whole time, but I
have my mister here, I'll lethim introduce himself.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
What's up?
Peeps, aaron, thomas, I have a.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
I mean the longest pause ever.
You have a what?
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Lifestyle company called Excellence Above Talent.
I have a podcast, I am aseventh grade social studies
teacher as well as a coach and Ido some mentoring on the side.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
And he's my husband.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Yeah and I'm her husband.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
So let's get right into it.
What motivates you?
Speaker 3 (01:45):
My motivation comes from I'm going to die one day.
It's a very.
Some people think it's dark,but if you add your days up, you
might live 30,000 days in yourlife, and I'm assuming half of
those days you're sleeping andworking.
(02:06):
So you don't have a lot of timeto make the most of your life,
and so the motivation comes frommy fear of dying and not doing
all that God has called me to do.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
I think, once you explain it, it doesn't sound as
dark.
At first, when you said it, Iwas like oh, that makes sense.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
I mean it's dark because people don't want to
think about dying.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
But once you're born that clock starts to tick and at
some point you're going to die.
So that just motivates me to.
When I get up and I don't feellike doing it some days, and
some days I don't but forreading and praying, working out
I protect my mental health bysurrounding myself with people
(03:13):
who see me.
I protect my mental health bywalking away from people who
don't see me or who I thoughtwere friends, and they never
build you up.
They always, you know, lift you, bring you down.
So I protect my mental health,and in the various of areas
(03:39):
mentally, emotionally,physically, because it's
important.
Emotionally, physically,because it's important.
Again, you only have one lifeand so you have to make sure
you're living it to the best ofyour ability.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Yes, and I reposted something today or yesterday,
but anyway that says men'smental health matters too.
A lot of times we get caught upin just the female side, but
men's mental health matters aswell.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
And then you know sex as well.
Sex is something that helps mementally the smile on your face
I'm gonna ask you married nowanyways um we ain't living in
sin no more.
Okay, I'm done.
What is?
Speaker 2 (04:24):
happening right now.
Next question is what's yourself care routine?
I'm looking at you guys halfthe time.
I have to remind you to do someof this.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
I think I have to get better on on having a routine.
But if I was to tell you what Iwould want to do, this is how
my self-care routine would beWaking up at 4 o'clock in the
morning, working out, gettingready for work, getting off of
(04:58):
work, making sure a few minutesto rest or recover from a crazy
day at school, because every dayis different.
Hire me, motivate me, playing agame and then going to sleep
pretty early, preferably 9, 30,10.
(05:20):
That normally doesn't happen.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
I was going to say what is our bedtime right now,
midnight 12.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Yeah, yeah, but yeah, I mean, that would be like my
ideal and it happens every sooften, but it's not consistent
yet.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Gotcha, what advice would you give little Aaron?
Speaker 3 (05:51):
To show up and be who God has called you to be.
Don't run from your greatness.
A lot of us minimize ourselvesin order to have friends, in
order to be around certainpeople, in order to get a job,
but I would tell my younger selfto show up, be great, don't be
(06:15):
afraid to piss people offbecause of your greatness.
That's something that they haveto deal with, not you.
Yeah, so you just show up andbe you.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
That's great advice.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Advice that has definitely changed my life.
For sure.
What is one moment that hasshaped your life or made a huge
impact on your life outside ofmeeting me?
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Oh, I was going to say you.
Were you really going to say meI was Okay, well, I'll let you
have it.
Go ahead.
Well thank gonna say you, or areyou really gonna say me?
I was okay, I'll let you haveit go ahead.
Well, thank you.
Now, um, the shallow above orabove, or how do you say his
name?
He did a podcast and he talkedabout the ministry of presence
(06:59):
and what was the question?
Again, I how somebody shaped mylife.
I thought it was someone.
What is one moment?
Oh, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah,yeah.
Alright, back to it.
So he had a podcast about theministry of presence and I think
the moment where I was like mmmshe.
She, as in Yanni, could besomething more than what she was
(07:24):
at the time.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Let's keep it real, all play real.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
She was at the time.
She kept showing up.
I was doing CrossFitcompetitions.
She was working at DPS or2-in-1.
And she wasn't making a lot ofmoney, but I would have
competitions and she would makesure to hook her brother up
(07:56):
snacks, drinks, whatever Iwanted or needed, whatever I
needed, because I didn't ask herto do it.
Whatever I wanted or needed,whatever I needed, because I
didn't ask her to do it.
She showed up in more than oneor two times.
I think I had like threecompetitions.
She showed up or she providedsomething all three times.
(08:17):
There were times where shewould cook meals.
Did you cook meals?
Speaker 2 (08:23):
You're saying it.
Yes, I did cook meals cookmeals.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
You didn't buy me no groceries though.
No, that was not me, okay, she,you know, she made sure I was,
I was taken care of, and I wasin a space where I wasn't really
trying to be taken care of, Iwasn't trying to be seen.
She saw me, she heard me, shetook care of me, and I think
(08:47):
that was so.
In that moment I had gotten adivorce.
I didn't think I was worthy orenough, and because of her
showing up and her presence, shehelped me realize that I am
enough, that I can be loved andI'm not this monster that maybe
(09:11):
I was portrayed to be, and I dohave my flaws and I do have
issues.
But she's seen past all of thatand loved me for me.
So I think that was a momentthat really, I guess, motivated
me to want to be better.
I'm getting sound tonight,fellas.
Good day, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
I'm so glad that I apologized way in advance, did
you?
I did, are you sure I'mpositive?
Oh, okay, what is your mindsetwhen you are told no or doors
shut?
Speaker 3 (09:44):
I mean shoot, what's meant to be is meant to be.
I don't force anything.
Noun, I don't A no.
Some people say I try to take ano and turn it into a yes.
I take the no and I try tofigure out why the no was a no,
(10:10):
and usually that figuring outanother door or something else
opens itself up because it was ano.
For some reason, the timing itwasn't ready.
There needed to be more, youknow, work on on myself or the
product, and so, um, puttingyourself back, building yourself
(10:31):
back up, um, looking at it fromdifferent angles I think it's
super important and then goingabout your life because, at the
end of the day, um, what's meantfor you will be meant for you
and what's not will not.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
I think that's one thing that I've definitely um
had to take a lesson from you on, because I'm very like, what do
you mean?
No, like it's, it's a yes, butI feel like, with you leading us
in this household, I've, kindof you know, had to, I guess you
can say chill out um and justfollow your lead on and if
that's how you want to do it,then that's how we're going to
do it.
So cool beans.
(11:06):
Now let's get into the meat ofthis episode, shall we?
Speaker 3 (11:09):
you said, you want some meat anyways, what?
Speaker 2 (11:13):
what did you?
Say, when I came out Ishouldn't have said it, but
anyway so what I was trying tosay is what is your life motto
for us?
Speaker 3 (11:24):
uh, lisa nichols is the one that I heard this from
and she said do not hide,protect, defend or prove who you
are to anyone.
What does that mean, kind ofthe, the quote or the advice I
would give my younger self.
I don't need to hide who I amfrom anybody.
(11:46):
I show up to the room and I amwho I am, and it's not a I'm
going to force you.
It's just this is who I am.
I'm not hiding myself, and ifyou like me, you like me, and if
you don't, you don't.
Protect.
Protecting myself or defendingI think those kind of are the
same, but I'm not.
(12:08):
If you think something of me,there's nothing I can do to make
you not think it of me, and soI'm not going to waste my energy
and time trying to force you tosee me in a different light.
Yeah, and that protecting anddefending yourself a lot of
times and I've done that andit's still something that I deal
(12:30):
with I'm not 100% like this iswhat it is, because I still have
an ego, I still have, you know,pride, and so sometimes I do
want to defend myself or protectmyself from people who are
saying things about me, but atthe end of the day, I'm not
(12:51):
going to change their mind, so Ijust show up.
So hiding, protecting,defending and improving.
I think men have a hard timebecause we feel like we have to
prove ourselves 24-7.
Prove ourselves that we are agood man, prove ourselves that
we are a good husband.
(13:12):
We have to prove that we aregreat at every single thing and
it becomes draining.
And all that proving doesnothing for you mentally because
when you think about it, you'reproving stuff to other people
about what you can do, and ninetimes out of 10, those people
(13:35):
don't give a shit about what youcan do.
And nine times out of ten thosepeople don't give a shit about
what you are doing, because theyhave a life and they're trying
to figure it out and they'restruggling with their things.
And here I am running aroundtrying to prove myself to these
people who don't really give adamn about me.
Wow, yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
How has that freed you?
Speaker 3 (13:56):
so it's um.
I don't need to be in rooms thatdon't want me in there, yeah I
don't, I don't like a lot oftimes you know you're defending,
you're proving you're, you'rehiding yourself, you're, you're
trying to you who you are.
There are certain people that,okay, I like this version of
(14:18):
this guy and I'm now my versionof who I'm supposed to be.
I'm not no one else's version,and so that's freeing, because I
wake up and I get to be me andnot a version of what somebody
needs me to be for that day Bars.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Should I mark that.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
No oh too late.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
What do you think is like?
When I think of what you'resaying, I think of the opposite
of it.
I think that person must be,you know, I would say, depressed
.
I say that because at one pointI spent a lot of my time, um,
trying to hide and trying toexplain myself all the time.
At one point, I was a bigpeople pleaser, um, whether it
(15:05):
was family or friends, like theywanted something from me,
whether if I was busy, tired orwhatever, I would do it, um, and
I would put myself last.
And and I think honestly, sinceprobably dating, especially now
married, I just see thatdifferent, like I'm me and I've
lost friendships.
I've gained friendships Closerto some family and not closer to
(15:28):
other family, but in the day, Ijust think it does come with a
sense of peace and knowing thatI'm'm just me, yeah, and I think
also with that, I feel likeit's also allowed me to build a
relationship with god, because Ifeel like I don't know it's
(15:50):
you're not, it's not so dark andit's I don't know.
I feel like, since I don't know, since I'm not such a people
pleaser, it's I don't know.
I feel like, since I don't know, since I'm not a people pleaser
.
It's just like I spend moretime in his word listening to
what he has to say, versus whatthe world is having to say about
me and what I should be doingand how it should look or
whatever.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Well, it's like I have that warped mindset of
we're all users.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
Every person in your life is a user and it doesn't
sound like pretty, but I use you, you use me and the beautiful
thing is there's mutual usingand a lot of times, family or
(16:38):
friends it's.
You know they're using you,they are, you know, taking.
You know all that you're givingthem Family, friends, jobs,
career, it's just everything andthen in return, they aren't
refilling the cup that you'repouring into them, refilling the
cup that you're pouring intothem.
And if you have enough peoplewho are taking from you and not
filling you up I'm just kidding,I'm sorry, I don't know why.
(17:07):
I need to get better If you haveenough people taking from you
and not filling you up, then youbecome a shell of yourself, you
become depleted and then, oncethey are done using you all that
they can from you, they willmove on and start using other
people.
So it's super important to makesure that the using in your
(17:29):
life is beneficial.
You know you're using peoplefor certain things and they're
using you for certain things,and there's it's, it's mutual.
You understand it.
It's a beautiful thing and Ithink that's the the beauty of
you know I I guess looking andseeing it now from a different
perspective, but I feel likethose people who are just like
(17:51):
being used and not getting thatcup full is the feeling of I
look at it as like a brokenglass mirror, a broken glass
mirror and when you are givingpieces of yourself to every
single body and then you finallylook into that mirror that
(18:14):
person is, it's like thatfunhouse mirror they're cut up,
they're all in multiple piecesand they don't feel whole or
together.
And the importance of makingsure you're taking back the
pieces that you're giving topeople and making sure
(18:36):
overextend yourself trying togive to people when you know I
need this for myself.
It's important.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
It's part of that self-care mental health.
It plays a part in that forsure, because we both know the
end of last year I wascompletely just burnt out.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
I have a servant's heart, and a servant's heart
mixed with people-pleasing doesnot equal well.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
No, it doesn't.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
So I was signing myself up to be a part of all
these things and it got to apoint where I was the broken
mirror.
When I looked in the mirror Ididn't have the pieces to kind
of fill it in and I was tiredand overwhelmed answering emails
at 4 o'clock in the morning.
I was like, okay, wait, what iswrong here?
So I took a second, took a stepback, took my name out of some
hats.
(19:42):
We're now, you know, I'm kindof volunteering somewhat, but I
listen to my body and that'sphysically and mentally To say
you know, am I tapped out or canI give?
Do I need a nap beforevolunteering?
I think also with being married, it kind of I'm like okay, wait
(20:02):
, I have another person that Ihave to make sure is okay as
well.
Who?
Speaker 3 (20:05):
are you?
Speaker 2 (20:05):
married to again, I don't know this guy that happens
to go by Aaron Thomas.
Lucky guy, but okay.
But how has this affected yourfaith?
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Or has it the not hiding, protecting, defending or
proving?
I feel like a lot of times, ifyou're trying to hide from
others, you're also trying tohide from God, and it just now
allows me to be human, to messup, to try to figure things out,
(20:40):
to have a conversation to youknow, tell God, hey, you know
I'm I'm having issues with uhpornography.
Um, when I was like in that deepor um having issues with uh a
lust problem, um, every real I'mlooking at there's something
(21:00):
that could help Australia away.
So it's it.
Now I see and I'm open to itand I'm having a conversation
about it, versus trying to actlike it's normal or I'm not
doing anything bad or things ofthat nature.
(21:21):
So it's helped me have a moreopen relationship with God
because he sees it regardless,so ain't no point trying to hide
it or anything.
So, um, just having like that,that vulnerability and that
connection um with him to say,hey, uh, I am in need of of help
because I'm struggling and withfinances, or I'm struggling
(21:44):
with, um sexual impurities, orI'm struggling with finances, or
I'm struggling with sexualimpurities, or I'm struggling
with the way I'm thinking aboutmyself, and so it's more of an
open dialogue than me trying togo to him like I'm a perfect man
, just saying like hey, so.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
It kind of goes back to the relationship versus
religion.
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
So it creates the space for the relationship yeah,
versus me just saying I'm achristian and trying to act a
certain type of way.
You know, I don't gotta actanymore because I'm not hiding
or proving, I'm just showing upyeah, makes sense.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
One thing I do want to say about this is when I
learned that no is a completesentence oh yeah a part of the
whole thing.
Your statement when I saidproving no is a sentence.
Yeah and that's it, andnowadays I'll tell them no, no,
I don't feel like going clockthat t girl.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
And huh, I learned that seven graders that's what
they say when they were like no,they were like clock that T
like oh, the way, you justcalled me off guard.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
What is clock?
Speaker 3 (22:51):
okay, clock that T like no, clock that T.
That is what it is.
I don't know.
I'm assuming I could probablybe saying something that's.
That's not even that, but I sayit at school all the time and
they're like oh, oh my goshCoach AT, you're not funny.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Anyway.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Back to my original statement.
No, it's a complete sentence.
Clock that T.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Yeah, clock that T, clock that T and move on, and
move on, and yeah, that's that.
Period Poo.
Okay, what's?
Speaker 2 (23:20):
happening.
That's what they say at the endof that it's period.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Poo, I don't know.
I've never heard that before.
You've never heard that onebefore.
Oh no, that's definitely.
I don't know if I came from.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
You're making stuff up, no no, no, that's the thing,
oh, okay, Anyway do you haveanything?
Speaker 3 (23:52):
uh, what do I stand for?
I stand for people because I Iknow the struggle and I have a a
big heart, an open heart.
If I could help everyone, Iwould definitely help everyone,
but I know that I can't helpeveryone.
So I will try to inspire,motivate, push the people that
(24:18):
are around me and some peopleget it and some people don't
like it because I'm, you know,pushing them to see the bigger
side of themselves.
But I stand for the people andjustice and making sure that
people are being treated theright way.
And I struggle with thatsometimes because back in the
(24:41):
day I wasn't.
I was still that person, but Iwasn't mature enough to handle
that responsibility.
So there was a lot of hurt thatI was doing to others.
And now you know, when tryingto processing and move forward,
those things sometimes try tocome back into your life.
Those things sometimes try tocome back into your life, but
(25:05):
you have to address them.
You know, sitting that I didthat.
That wasn't who I was or who Iam.
That was something that I wasgoing through Trauma, pain.
You're not blaming anybody.
You're taking accountabilityfor what you did and why you did
(25:29):
it, so that you can moveforward, so that you don't.
You don't allow the path PastorTrey, in our first sermon,
talked about that that you'recarrying all these, this baggage
, and you're carrying all thepast that is just dragging you
down and you have to go.
You to go through it and thenbe like, okay, I'm done with
this, I'm moving forward, I'mrunning the race that God is
(25:52):
putting in my life.
I'm running my race and I can'tallow this baggage to hold me
down.
I say that to say this I'm.
You can still, back in the day,not have been a good person, but
still be for people, still lovepeople, still want to see
(26:15):
people in all their good.
And, on the flip side, you as aperson, you can be okay with yes
, I did those things, but that'snot who I am as a person and
I'm growing and maturing andgetting better.
So I'm not going to hide,defend or prove myself to anyone
(26:36):
now.
I'm just going to show up andstand for what I stand for,
which is people.
That's why we have, you know,podcasts and we talk to mentor
young boys and, you know, goingto the youth detention center
and talking to those kids andanytime I'm able to have a
(26:58):
conversation with a young manthat's willing to pay attention
and listen.
I'm having those conversationsbecause, at the end of the day,
I don't want to see them go downthe same path that I went down,
which is just destructive.
So I want to make sure I can doall that I can for, uh, the
people I think that's one of thethings that I fell in love I.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
One of the reasons why I fell in love with you is I
saw how you were pouring intoother people, especially the
youth, which oftentimes quoteunquote at-risk youth often gets
forgotten.
And people sometimes just writethem off as throwing their life
away based on the one decisionthat they make, which is not a
(27:42):
good one most times, on the onedecision that they make, which
is not a good one most times.
But you definitely take thetime to uplift them, encourage
them and remind them that theyare not their mistake.
Yeah, and they still have alife to live, which I feel like
has what did I say?
(28:03):
Has to.
I don't know what the extra,what that was, but anyway, I
don't know what you just said.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
I don't even know either.
You're tired, I get it.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Anyway, that has changed the way that I look at
kids.
We have the initiative wherewe're writing letters to kids
that are in the youth attentioncenter.
We have kids that we keep upwith that are in the youth
attention center.
Speaker 3 (28:28):
We have kids that we keep up with that are sending
them expensive ass burgers, butI do it in a heartbeat.
Send them books burgers.
Put money on books.
They need to know that thereare people on the outside that
still love them and stillbelieve in them and still know
that they are amazing humanbeings and that eventually, when
(28:51):
they get out, people do care.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Because I also, I don't know, I also one day I was
just thinking I was like man,if we all just stopped dealing
with people because they madeone mistake, we would be dealing
for one with no one.
Yeah, dealing with peoplebecause they made one mistake,
we would be dealing for one withno one.
Yeah.
But also for these kids, wheretheir brain is not even fully
mature, yeah, to understandexactly what they did.
Um, if we leave them alone, youknow who's not gonna leave them
(29:18):
alone?
All the evil that's in theworld they'll continue to pour
into them yeah that won't begood for them, so, but that's
that okay.
One last question.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Oh lord, I'm sorry, my bad so um, I need you to
encourage and uplift mylisteners that are listening to
this right now uh, my word ofencouragement would be to I had
a podcast with Coach Q andsomething that really touched my
(29:52):
heart, because I can't saytouched me, because that would
be weird.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Oh, my gosh focus.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
I have, like a little kid of mine sometimes.
Something that touched my heartwas he said that he sat in the
feelings of what he was goingthrough.
He didn't run from them, and Ifeel like a lot of people are
running from feelings that theyneed to just address.
(30:21):
They need to sit down and I'mnot sure if there's he did his
through a tattoo, uh, for inktherapy.
Um, I don't know if it'scounseling sessions or turning
off the light, uh, and sittingin, uh, pure darkness to and
(30:42):
quietness.
I don't know if it's turning ona one of those things on YouTube
Meditation, yeah, like ameditation video, but sitting in
those feelings that you haveand not running from them
because at some point in yourlife you're going to have to
(31:03):
address it.
So, anytime these feelings comeup and you're running because
you don't want to face them andyou might not feel these
(31:42):
feelings or emotions in theshort term because the chain
might be long and so you thinkyou're just running past and you
don't have to deal with it, um,but while you're dragging these
feelings and emotions with you,um, they're also picking up on
other things uh that are makingit harder, uh for you uh to run.
(32:02):
Um, it's making the chain, uh,shorter because it's more stuff
that's getting getting on it tothe point to where you're not
even or you can't even run, tothe point to where you look in
the mirror, you don't likeyourself, where you're changing
yourself for everybody, and then, once you stop, all the stuff
that you were trying to run fromhits you like a ton of bricks.
(32:25):
And now that's the work thatyou have to do.
You have to start to unfillthese feelings, unemotion, these
emotions, and you have to nowwork three times as hard to sit
in these feelings and emotionsto get to the better you.
So I would just tell people itis super important, when you're
(32:50):
feeling something, to sit in it,to not let it fester, to not
let it, to not try to shut itout because it's not going to go
anywhere.
Just kind of sit in it, figureout why you feel this way and
then go on about your business.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
It's okay to not be okay.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
It is.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Yeah, well, thank you , my honey bunny.
Okay, for what?
Honey bunny?
No, oh, what do you like?
Speaker 3 (33:18):
What is this supposed to be?
I'm a big dog.
Ooh, ooh, I don't know.
Yeah, honey, bunny, that's fine.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Thank you, mr Thomas.
Oh, you're welcome For gracingsending you to the podcast again
.
By the way, you never mentionedyour podcast name.
Speaker 3 (33:37):
My podcast is Excellence Above Talent.
It's on all podcast platformslike legit, on all podcast
platforms, including YouTube.
It's not the video, but theaudio is on YouTube.
If you just look it up, it'llbe on there.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
Yeah, and I'll link it to that way.
If you guys would like to checkhis out, you can For sure.
Speaker 3 (33:59):
I got a pretty cool one tomorrow with Coach Q.
He does a lot of speaking andhe's the women's basketball
coach at OC.
He's got a few books, he's aJohn Maxwell leadership speaker
and also Brian Cain does stuffwith mental toughness or mental
(34:22):
strength, and so he has all thatcurriculum things of that
nature.
So I think it's pretty cool andwe had a pretty good
conversation.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
So yeah, okay.
And what do you tell yourpeople at the end of your
podcast?
Speaker 3 (34:36):
I tell them that, oh lord, what do I tell?
Them If no one tells you todaythat they love you, let me be
the first to say I love you.
You are awesome.
You are amazing.
You deserve the best that thisworld has to offer.
Do not give up, do not quit.
The world does not get easier,but you will get stronger.
(34:58):
Y'all have a great weekend.
Bye-bye.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Bye.
Thank you for listening toanother episode of Standing in
your Truth with Yanni and if noone told you today, you are
loved, you are beautiful, youare needed and you matter.
Be sure to follow on Facebookat Standing in your Truth
Podcast with Yanni.
Also on Instagram Talks withYanni.
Hello everyone, welcome to Standing In your
Truth podcast with your host,yanni.
On this podcast you'll hearYanni, family and friends having
open-ended discussions onanything from faith, finances,
relationships and how to staymotivated during life's trying
times.
Make sure to follow on allsocial media platforms.
(00:23):
The social media link is in thebio.
Sit back and get ready to enjoy.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Hello everyone, Welcome to another episode of
Standing in Gertrude's Podcast.
I am your host, Stigone.
I'm going to apologize inadvance for this podcast episode
.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
I have why are you apologizing?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Because I can already tell this is going to be
interesting.
He's been flashing a flashlightin my eyes and making the what
is that thing called?
Speaker 3 (01:00):
The help noise from OC.
No prime blending.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Goodness.
Anyway, he's sitting hereplaying the whole time, but I
have my mister here, I'll lethim introduce himself.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
What's up?
Peeps, aaron, thomas, I have a.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
I mean the longest pause ever.
You have a what?
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Lifestyle company called Excellence Above Talent.
I have a podcast, I am aseventh grade social studies
teacher as well as a coach and Ido some mentoring on the side.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
And he's my husband.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Yeah and I'm her husband.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
So let's get right into it.
What motivates you?
Speaker 3 (01:45):
My motivation comes from I'm going to die one day.
It's a very.
Some people think it's dark,but if you add your days up, you
might live 30,000 days in yourlife, and I'm assuming half of
those days you're sleeping andworking.
(02:06):
So you don't have a lot of timeto make the most of your life,
and so the motivation comes frommy fear of dying and not doing
all that God has called me to do.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
I think, once you explain it, it doesn't sound as
dark.
At first, when you said it, Iwas like oh, that makes sense.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
I mean it's dark because people don't want to
think about dying.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
But once you're born that clock starts to tick and at
some point you're going to die.
So that just motivates me to.
When I get up and I don't feellike doing it some days, and
some days I don't but forreading and praying, working out
I protect my mental health bysurrounding myself with people
(03:13):
who see me.
I protect my mental health bywalking away from people who
don't see me or who I thoughtwere friends, and they never
build you up.
They always, you know, lift you, bring you down.
So I protect my mental health,and in the various of areas
(03:39):
mentally, emotionally,physically, because it's
important.
Emotionally, physically,because it's important.
Again, you only have one lifeand so you have to make sure
you're living it to the best ofyour ability.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Yes, and I reposted something today or yesterday,
but anyway that says men'smental health matters too.
A lot of times we get caught upin just the female side, but
men's mental health matters aswell.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
And then you know sex as well.
Sex is something that helps mementally the smile on your face
I'm gonna ask you married nowanyways um we ain't living in
sin no more.
Okay, I'm done.
What is?
Speaker 2 (04:24):
happening right now.
Next question is what's yourself care routine?
I'm looking at you guys halfthe time.
I have to remind you to do someof this.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
I think I have to get better on on having a routine.
But if I was to tell you what Iwould want to do, this is how
my self-care routine would beWaking up at 4 o'clock in the
morning, working out, gettingready for work, getting off of
(04:58):
work, making sure a few minutesto rest or recover from a crazy
day at school, because every dayis different.
Hire me, motivate me, playing agame and then going to sleep
pretty early, preferably 9, 30,10.
(05:20):
That normally doesn't happen.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
I was going to say what is our bedtime right now,
midnight 12.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Yeah, yeah, but yeah, I mean, that would be like my
ideal and it happens every sooften, but it's not consistent
yet.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Gotcha, what advice would you give little Aaron?
Speaker 3 (05:51):
To show up and be who God has called you to be.
Don't run from your greatness.
A lot of us minimize ourselvesin order to have friends, in
order to be around certainpeople, in order to get a job,
but I would tell my younger selfto show up, be great, don't be
(06:15):
afraid to piss people offbecause of your greatness.
That's something that they haveto deal with, not you.
Yeah, so you just show up andbe you.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
That's great advice.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Advice that has definitely changed my life.
For sure.
What is one moment that hasshaped your life or made a huge
impact on your life outside ofmeeting me?
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Oh, I was going to say you.
Were you really going to say meI was Okay, well, I'll let you
have it.
Go ahead.
Well thank gonna say you, or areyou really gonna say me?
I was okay, I'll let you haveit go ahead.
Well, thank you.
Now, um, the shallow above orabove, or how do you say his
name?
He did a podcast and he talkedabout the ministry of presence
(06:59):
and what was the question?
Again, I how somebody shaped mylife.
I thought it was someone.
What is one moment?
Oh, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah,yeah.
Alright, back to it.
So he had a podcast about theministry of presence and I think
the moment where I was like mmmshe.
She, as in Yanni, could besomething more than what she was
(07:24):
at the time.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Let's keep it real, all play real.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
She was at the time.
She kept showing up.
I was doing CrossFitcompetitions.
She was working at DPS or2-in-1.
And she wasn't making a lot ofmoney, but I would have
competitions and she would makesure to hook her brother up
(07:56):
snacks, drinks, whatever Iwanted or needed, whatever I
needed, because I didn't ask herto do it.
Whatever I wanted or needed,whatever I needed, because I
didn't ask her to do it.
She showed up in more than oneor two times.
I think I had like threecompetitions.
She showed up or she providedsomething all three times.
(08:17):
There were times where shewould cook meals.
Did you cook meals?
Speaker 2 (08:23):
You're saying it.
Yes, I did cook meals cookmeals.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
You didn't buy me no groceries though.
No, that was not me, okay, she,you know, she made sure I was,
I was taken care of, and I wasin a space where I wasn't really
trying to be taken care of, Iwasn't trying to be seen.
She saw me, she heard me, shetook care of me, and I think
(08:47):
that was so.
In that moment I had gotten adivorce.
I didn't think I was worthy orenough, and because of her
showing up and her presence, shehelped me realize that I am
enough, that I can be loved andI'm not this monster that maybe
(09:11):
I was portrayed to be, and I dohave my flaws and I do have
issues.
But she's seen past all of thatand loved me for me.
So I think that was a momentthat really, I guess, motivated
me to want to be better.
I'm getting sound tonight,fellas.
Good day, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
I'm so glad that I apologized way in advance, did
you?
I did, are you sure I'mpositive?
Oh, okay, what is your mindsetwhen you are told no or doors
shut?
Speaker 3 (09:44):
I mean shoot, what's meant to be is meant to be.
I don't force anything.
Noun, I don't A no.
Some people say I try to take ano and turn it into a yes.
I take the no and I try tofigure out why the no was a no,
(10:10):
and usually that figuring outanother door or something else
opens itself up because it was ano.
For some reason, the timing itwasn't ready.
There needed to be more, youknow, work on on myself or the
product, and so, um, puttingyourself back, building yourself
(10:31):
back up, um, looking at it fromdifferent angles I think it's
super important and then goingabout your life because, at the
end of the day, um, what's meantfor you will be meant for you
and what's not will not.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
I think that's one thing that I've definitely um
had to take a lesson from you on, because I'm very like, what do
you mean?
No, like it's, it's a yes, butI feel like, with you leading us
in this household, I've, kindof you know, had to, I guess you
can say chill out um and justfollow your lead on and if
that's how you want to do it,then that's how we're going to
do it.
So cool beans.
(11:06):
Now let's get into the meat ofthis episode, shall we?
Speaker 3 (11:09):
you said, you want some meat anyways, what?
Speaker 2 (11:13):
what did you?
Say, when I came out Ishouldn't have said it, but
anyway so what I was trying tosay is what is your life motto
for us?
Speaker 3 (11:24):
uh, lisa nichols is the one that I heard this from
and she said do not hide,protect, defend or prove who you
are to anyone.
What does that mean, kind ofthe, the quote or the advice I
would give my younger self.
I don't need to hide who I amfrom anybody.
(11:46):
I show up to the room and I amwho I am, and it's not a I'm
going to force you.
It's just this is who I am.
I'm not hiding myself, and ifyou like me, you like me, and if
you don't, you don't.
Protect.
Protecting myself or defendingI think those kind of are the
same, but I'm not.
(12:08):
If you think something of me,there's nothing I can do to make
you not think it of me, and soI'm not going to waste my energy
and time trying to force you tosee me in a different light.
Yeah, and that protecting anddefending yourself a lot of
times and I've done that andit's still something that I deal
(12:30):
with I'm not 100% like this iswhat it is, because I still have
an ego, I still have, you know,pride, and so sometimes I do
want to defend myself or protectmyself from people who are
saying things about me, but atthe end of the day, I'm not
(12:51):
going to change their mind, so Ijust show up.
So hiding, protecting,defending and improving.
I think men have a hard timebecause we feel like we have to
prove ourselves 24-7.
Prove ourselves that we are agood man, prove ourselves that
we are a good husband.
(13:12):
We have to prove that we aregreat at every single thing and
it becomes draining.
And all that proving doesnothing for you mentally because
when you think about it, you'reproving stuff to other people
about what you can do, and ninetimes out of 10, those people
(13:35):
don't give a shit about what youcan do.
And nine times out of ten thosepeople don't give a shit about
what you are doing, because theyhave a life and they're trying
to figure it out and they'restruggling with their things.
And here I am running aroundtrying to prove myself to these
people who don't really give adamn about me.
Wow, yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
How has that freed you?
Speaker 3 (13:56):
so it's um.
I don't need to be in rooms thatdon't want me in there, yeah I
don't, I don't like a lot oftimes you know you're defending,
you're proving you're, you'rehiding yourself, you're, you're
trying to you who you are.
There are certain people that,okay, I like this version of
(14:18):
this guy and I'm now my versionof who I'm supposed to be.
I'm not no one else's version,and so that's freeing, because I
wake up and I get to be me andnot a version of what somebody
needs me to be for that day Bars.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Should I mark that.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
No oh too late.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
What do you think is like?
When I think of what you'resaying, I think of the opposite
of it.
I think that person must be,you know, I would say, depressed
.
I say that because at one pointI spent a lot of my time, um,
trying to hide and trying toexplain myself all the time.
At one point, I was a bigpeople pleaser, um, whether it
(15:05):
was family or friends, like theywanted something from me,
whether if I was busy, tired orwhatever, I would do it, um, and
I would put myself last.
And and I think honestly, sinceprobably dating, especially now
married, I just see thatdifferent, like I'm me and I've
lost friendships.
I've gained friendships Closerto some family and not closer to
(15:28):
other family, but in the day, Ijust think it does come with a
sense of peace and knowing thatI'm'm just me, yeah, and I think
also with that, I feel likeit's also allowed me to build a
relationship with god, because Ifeel like I don't know it's
(15:50):
you're not, it's not so dark andit's I don't know.
I feel like, since I don't know, since I'm not such a people
pleaser, it's I don't know.
I feel like, since I don't know, since I'm not a people pleaser
.
It's just like I spend moretime in his word listening to
what he has to say, versus whatthe world is having to say about
me and what I should be doingand how it should look or
whatever.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Well, it's like I have that warped mindset of
we're all users.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
Every person in your life is a user and it doesn't
sound like pretty, but I use you, you use me and the beautiful
thing is there's mutual usingand a lot of times, family or
(16:38):
friends it's.
You know they're using you,they are, you know, taking.
You know all that you're givingthem Family, friends, jobs,
career, it's just everything andthen in return, they aren't
refilling the cup that you'repouring into them, refilling the
cup that you're pouring intothem.
And if you have enough peoplewho are taking from you and not
filling you up I'm just kidding,I'm sorry, I don't know why.
(17:07):
I need to get better If you haveenough people taking from you
and not filling you up, then youbecome a shell of yourself, you
become depleted and then, oncethey are done using you all that
they can from you, they willmove on and start using other
people.
So it's super important to makesure that the using in your
(17:29):
life is beneficial.
You know you're using peoplefor certain things and they're
using you for certain things,and there's it's, it's mutual.
You understand it.
It's a beautiful thing and Ithink that's the the beauty of
you know I I guess looking andseeing it now from a different
perspective, but I feel likethose people who are just like
(17:51):
being used and not getting thatcup full is the feeling of I
look at it as like a brokenglass mirror, a broken glass
mirror and when you are givingpieces of yourself to every
single body and then you finallylook into that mirror that
(18:14):
person is, it's like thatfunhouse mirror they're cut up,
they're all in multiple piecesand they don't feel whole or
together.
And the importance of makingsure you're taking back the
pieces that you're giving topeople and making sure
(18:36):
overextend yourself trying togive to people when you know I
need this for myself.
It's important.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
It's part of that self-care mental health.
It plays a part in that forsure, because we both know the
end of last year I wascompletely just burnt out.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
I have a servant's heart, and a servant's heart
mixed with people-pleasing doesnot equal well.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
No, it doesn't.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
So I was signing myself up to be a part of all
these things and it got to apoint where I was the broken
mirror.
When I looked in the mirror Ididn't have the pieces to kind
of fill it in and I was tiredand overwhelmed answering emails
at 4 o'clock in the morning.
I was like, okay, wait, what iswrong here?
So I took a second, took a stepback, took my name out of some
hats.
(19:42):
We're now, you know, I'm kindof volunteering somewhat, but I
listen to my body and that'sphysically and mentally To say
you know, am I tapped out or canI give?
Do I need a nap beforevolunteering?
I think also with being married, it kind of I'm like okay, wait
(20:02):
, I have another person that Ihave to make sure is okay as
well.
Who?
Speaker 3 (20:05):
are you?
Speaker 2 (20:05):
married to again, I don't know this guy that happens
to go by Aaron Thomas.
Lucky guy, but okay.
But how has this affected yourfaith?
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Or has it the not hiding, protecting, defending or
proving?
I feel like a lot of times, ifyou're trying to hide from
others, you're also trying tohide from God, and it just now
allows me to be human, to messup, to try to figure things out,
(20:40):
to have a conversation to youknow, tell God, hey, you know
I'm I'm having issues with uhpornography.
Um, when I was like in that deepor um having issues with uh a
lust problem, um, every real I'mlooking at there's something
(21:00):
that could help Australia away.
So it's it.
Now I see and I'm open to itand I'm having a conversation
about it, versus trying to actlike it's normal or I'm not
doing anything bad or things ofthat nature.
(21:21):
So it's helped me have a moreopen relationship with God
because he sees it regardless,so ain't no point trying to hide
it or anything.
So, um, just having like that,that vulnerability and that
connection um with him to say,hey, uh, I am in need of of help
because I'm struggling and withfinances, or I'm struggling
(21:44):
with, um sexual impurities, orI'm struggling with finances, or
I'm struggling with sexualimpurities, or I'm struggling
with the way I'm thinking aboutmyself, and so it's more of an
open dialogue than me trying togo to him like I'm a perfect man
, just saying like hey, so.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
It kind of goes back to the relationship versus
religion.
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
So it creates the space for the relationship yeah,
versus me just saying I'm achristian and trying to act a
certain type of way.
You know, I don't gotta actanymore because I'm not hiding
or proving, I'm just showing upyeah, makes sense.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
One thing I do want to say about this is when I
learned that no is a completesentence oh yeah a part of the
whole thing.
Your statement when I saidproving no is a sentence.
Yeah and that's it, andnowadays I'll tell them no, no,
I don't feel like going clockthat t girl.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
And huh, I learned that seven graders that's what
they say when they were like no,they were like clock that T
like oh, the way, you justcalled me off guard.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
What is clock?
Speaker 3 (22:51):
okay, clock that T like no, clock that T.
That is what it is.
I don't know.
I'm assuming I could probablybe saying something that's.
That's not even that, but I sayit at school all the time and
they're like oh, oh my goshCoach AT, you're not funny.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Anyway.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Back to my original statement.
No, it's a complete sentence.
Clock that T.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Yeah, clock that T, clock that T and move on, and
move on, and yeah, that's that.
Period Poo.
Okay, what's?
Speaker 2 (23:20):
happening.
That's what they say at the endof that it's period.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Poo, I don't know.
I've never heard that before.
You've never heard that onebefore.
Oh no, that's definitely.
I don't know if I came from.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
You're making stuff up, no no, no, that's the thing,
oh, okay, Anyway do you haveanything?
Speaker 3 (23:52):
uh, what do I stand for?
I stand for people because I Iknow the struggle and I have a a
big heart, an open heart.
If I could help everyone, Iwould definitely help everyone,
but I know that I can't helpeveryone.
So I will try to inspire,motivate, push the people that
(24:18):
are around me and some peopleget it and some people don't
like it because I'm, you know,pushing them to see the bigger
side of themselves.
But I stand for the people andjustice and making sure that
people are being treated theright way.
And I struggle with thatsometimes because back in the
(24:41):
day I wasn't.
I was still that person, but Iwasn't mature enough to handle
that responsibility.
So there was a lot of hurt thatI was doing to others.
And now you know, when tryingto processing and move forward,
those things sometimes try tocome back into your life.
Those things sometimes try tocome back into your life, but
(25:05):
you have to address them.
You know, sitting that I didthat.
That wasn't who I was or who Iam.
That was something that I wasgoing through Trauma, pain.
You're not blaming anybody.
You're taking accountabilityfor what you did and why you did
(25:29):
it, so that you can moveforward, so that you don't.
You don't allow the path PastorTrey, in our first sermon,
talked about that that you'recarrying all these, this baggage
, and you're carrying all thepast that is just dragging you
down and you have to go.
You to go through it and thenbe like, okay, I'm done with
this, I'm moving forward, I'mrunning the race that God is
(25:52):
putting in my life.
I'm running my race and I can'tallow this baggage to hold me
down.
I say that to say this I'm.
You can still, back in the day,not have been a good person, but
still be for people, still lovepeople, still want to see
(26:15):
people in all their good.
And, on the flip side, you as aperson, you can be okay with yes
, I did those things, but that'snot who I am as a person and
I'm growing and maturing andgetting better.
So I'm not going to hide,defend or prove myself to anyone
(26:36):
now.
I'm just going to show up andstand for what I stand for,
which is people.
That's why we have, you know,podcasts and we talk to mentor
young boys and, you know, goingto the youth detention center
and talking to those kids andanytime I'm able to have a
(26:58):
conversation with a young manthat's willing to pay attention
and listen.
I'm having those conversationsbecause, at the end of the day,
I don't want to see them go downthe same path that I went down,
which is just destructive.
So I want to make sure I can doall that I can for, uh, the
people I think that's one of thethings that I fell in love I.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
One of the reasons why I fell in love with you is I
saw how you were pouring intoother people, especially the
youth, which oftentimes quoteunquote at-risk youth often gets
forgotten.
And people sometimes just writethem off as throwing their life
away based on the one decisionthat they make, which is not a
(27:42):
good one most times, on the onedecision that they make, which
is not a good one most times.
But you definitely take thetime to uplift them, encourage
them and remind them that theyare not their mistake.
Yeah, and they still have alife to live, which I feel like
has what did I say?
(28:03):
Has to.
I don't know what the extra,what that was, but anyway, I
don't know what you just said.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
I don't even know either.
You're tired, I get it.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Anyway, that has changed the way that I look at
kids.
We have the initiative wherewe're writing letters to kids
that are in the youth attentioncenter.
We have kids that we keep upwith that are in the youth
attention center.
Speaker 3 (28:28):
We have kids that we keep up with that are sending
them expensive ass burgers, butI do it in a heartbeat.
Send them books burgers.
Put money on books.
They need to know that thereare people on the outside that
still love them and stillbelieve in them and still know
that they are amazing humanbeings and that eventually, when
(28:51):
they get out, people do care.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Because I also, I don't know, I also one day I was
just thinking I was like man,if we all just stopped dealing
with people because they madeone mistake, we would be dealing
for one with no one.
Yeah, dealing with peoplebecause they made one mistake,
we would be dealing for one withno one.
Yeah.
But also for these kids, wheretheir brain is not even fully
mature, yeah, to understandexactly what they did.
Um, if we leave them alone, youknow who's not gonna leave them
(29:18):
alone?
All the evil that's in theworld they'll continue to pour
into them yeah that won't begood for them, so, but that's
that okay.
One last question.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Oh lord, I'm sorry, my bad so um, I need you to
encourage and uplift mylisteners that are listening to
this right now uh, my word ofencouragement would be to I had
a podcast with Coach Q andsomething that really touched my
(29:52):
heart, because I can't saytouched me, because that would
be weird.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Oh, my gosh focus.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
I have, like a little kid of mine sometimes.
Something that touched my heartwas he said that he sat in the
feelings of what he was goingthrough.
He didn't run from them, and Ifeel like a lot of people are
running from feelings that theyneed to just address.
(30:21):
They need to sit down and I'mnot sure if there's he did his
through a tattoo, uh, for inktherapy.
Um, I don't know if it'scounseling sessions or turning
off the light, uh, and sittingin, uh, pure darkness to and
(30:42):
quietness.
I don't know if it's turning ona one of those things on YouTube
Meditation, yeah, like ameditation video, but sitting in
those feelings that you haveand not running from them
because at some point in yourlife you're going to have to
(31:03):
address it.
So, anytime these feelings comeup and you're running because
you don't want to face them andyou might not feel these
(31:42):
feelings or emotions in theshort term because the chain
might be long and so you thinkyou're just running past and you
don't have to deal with it, um,but while you're dragging these
feelings and emotions with you,um, they're also picking up on
other things uh that are makingit harder, uh for you uh to run.
(32:02):
Um, it's making the chain, uh,shorter because it's more stuff
that's getting getting on it tothe point to where you're not
even or you can't even run, tothe point to where you look in
the mirror, you don't likeyourself, where you're changing
yourself for everybody, and then, once you stop, all the stuff
that you were trying to run fromhits you like a ton of bricks.
(32:25):
And now that's the work thatyou have to do.
You have to start to unfillthese feelings, unemotion, these
emotions, and you have to nowwork three times as hard to sit
in these feelings and emotionsto get to the better you.
So I would just tell people itis super important, when you're
(32:50):
feeling something, to sit in it,to not let it fester, to not
let it, to not try to shut itout because it's not going to go
anywhere.
Just kind of sit in it, figureout why you feel this way and
then go on about your business.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
It's okay to not be okay.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
It is.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Yeah, well, thank you , my honey bunny.
Okay, for what?
Honey bunny?
No, oh, what do you like?
Speaker 3 (33:18):
What is this supposed to be?
I'm a big dog.
Ooh, ooh, I don't know.
Yeah, honey, bunny, that's fine.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Thank you, mr Thomas.
Oh, you're welcome For gracingsending you to the podcast again
.
By the way, you never mentionedyour podcast name.
Speaker 3 (33:37):
My podcast is Excellence Above Talent.
It's on all podcast platformslike legit, on all podcast
platforms, including YouTube.
It's not the video, but theaudio is on YouTube.
If you just look it up, it'llbe on there.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
Yeah, and I'll link it to that way.
If you guys would like to checkhis out, you can For sure.
Speaker 3 (33:59):
I got a pretty cool one tomorrow with Coach Q.
He does a lot of speaking andhe's the women's basketball
coach at OC.
He's got a few books, he's aJohn Maxwell leadership speaker
and also Brian Cain does stuffwith mental toughness or mental
(34:22):
strength, and so he has all thatcurriculum things of that
nature.
So I think it's pretty cool andwe had a pretty good
conversation.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
So yeah, okay.
And what do you tell yourpeople at the end of your
podcast?
Speaker 3 (34:36):
I tell them that, oh lord, what do I tell?
Them If no one tells you todaythat they love you, let me be
the first to say I love you.
You are awesome.
You are amazing.
You deserve the best that thisworld has to offer.
Do not give up, do not quit.
The world does not get easier,but you will get stronger.
(34:58):
Y'all have a great weekend.
Bye-bye.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Bye.
Thank you for listening toanother episode of Standing in
your Truth with Yanni and if noone told you today, you are
loved, you are beautiful, youare needed and you matter.
Be sure to follow on Facebookat Standing in your Truth
Podcast with Yanni.
Also on Instagram Talks withYanni.
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