May 15, 2025 • 35 mins
What happens when a mother who was told she'd never conceive defies the odds, only to face the devastating loss of a pregnancy and spiral into addiction? In this heart-wrenching yet hopeful episode, guest April Morales bares her soul about her complex journey through motherhood.
April's story begins with a PCOS diagnosis and doctors telling her childbearing would be impossible. When she miraculously conceived at 25, one year into sobriety, it seemed life had turned around. But after having three beautiful children, tragedy struck when she lost a pregnancy at five-and-a-half months. This loss triggered overwhelming grief that led to relapse and separation from her children.
"I thought I did something wrong," April reveals, describing how depression and addiction took everything from her. But this isn't where her story ends. Through raw vulnerability, she shares how therapy, spiritual reconnection, and the unwavering love of her children guided her through recovery and reunion with her family.
What makes this conversation particularly powerful is April's ability to find meaning in her darkest moments. Now, she uses her experiences to support others facing similar struggles. "If you're hearing this for a reason, make contact," she urges listeners who might feel invisible or alone in their pain.
The episode offers profound reflections on community, divine timing, and how being seen can change someone's entire day. April's perspective on motherhood extends beyond biological children to nurturing anyone who crosses our path—a reminder that we all have opportunities to make meaningful connections daily.
Whether you've experienced loss, addiction, or simply moments of feeling completely alone, this conversation offers both comfort and courage. April's journey proves that healing is possible, and sometimes our most painful chapters become the source of hope for others walking similar paths.
Leave a comment sharing how this episode impacted you or reach out if you need prayer or support. Remember: you are loved, you are seen, you are enough.
Standing In Your Truth Podcast with Yanni Thomas
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello everyone, welcome to Standing In your
Truth podcast with your host,yanni.
On this podcast you'll hearYanni, family and friends having
open-ended discussions onanything from faith, finances,
relationships and how to staymotivated during life's trying
times.
Make sure to follow on allsocial media platforms.
(00:23):
The social media link is in thebio.
Sit back and get ready to enjoy.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of
Standing in your Truth podcast.
I am your host, yonnie.
How's it going?
I can say, for me personally,today was a day, but it's a day
that the lord has made, so Iwill be glad in it.
That's a song, I think, isn'tit?
I think one of those like oldchurch hymns.
(00:51):
Yes, I'm like, I think so.
So this is my um last episodefor this month, for mother's
hood.
Oh, mother's hood, motherhood.
I don't know why I said mothers.
Anyway, because I have multiplewomen on Into who's, I'm going
(01:11):
to allow my last, finalwonderful guest to introduce
herself.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Hello, my name is April Morales and I am a child
of God.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Alright, girl Alright .
So the first question is whatmotivates you?
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Other people motivate me.
My children motivate me.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Yeah, okay, I'm doing fine.
How do you protect your mentalhealth?
Prayer counseling.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Working through counseling, working through some
therapy, coping skills thatwere given to me and keeping a
close network of friends.
You know I do bible study.
I try to surround myself withpeople that are like minded yeah
, that's important.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
If not, they'll definitely bring you down.
I know I actually just had myfirst therapy session today with
my new therapist, um.
I put myself back into therapyin person.
I had an option option to do umvirtually again and I was like
no something different aboutbeing able to sit and for her to
see all of my facialexpressions and for you to see
(02:23):
hers.
Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm sure she'sprobably like reading mine more,
because I definitely can give afacial expression, if you know.
You know, yes, but all right,well, I'm proud of you for being
in therapy, I'm proud of youfor starting you.
Thank you, girl.
Thank you, that's one of thefirst things she said.
She's like oh good, you know,congrats for signing up, and I
(02:43):
was like yes, I said I tell myfriend all the time, but some of
them are like gay.
Some of them are like you'redoing what and I'm like you
don't understand how that wouldreally, it really releases you,
gives you that safe place itdoes and also helps you grow.
Yes, so uh, what advice wouldyou give your younger self cling
?
Speaker 3 (02:59):
to god, learn to trust him.
Yeah, outside of this, thisworld because that was one of my
biggest battles was learninghow to trust, especially that we
put a hymn on it.
With the experiences I've hadin my life, it was very hard to
trust Him, and so I had to kindof change my view and put a
(03:25):
different picture.
It's still him, but it had tobe a softer, kinder spirit to
him, and that was probably mybiggest one.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Okay, wow, that's a different view.
I've heard from how otherpeople have broken that down.
What is one moment in your lifethat has really shaped your
life or made a huge impact?
My children.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
They have, I was told I could never have them.
Yeah, so the first time I foundout I was pregnant, it was a
complete flip of everything Ibelieved about myself and what I
was worthy of being blessedwith.
Yeah and so, yes, the birth ofmy children.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
And also the loss of a child?
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Yes, we're going to get into that.
What is your mindset whenyou're told no, or the door
shuts.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
It wasn't meant for me.
Okay, it wasn't meant for me,so we're gonna look for another
door.
Yeah, it's just a differentpath.
It's not made for everybody,yeah okay, all righty.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
So, like I said earlier, obviously this is um
about motherhood.
So, if you don't mind sharingwith us your journey of
motherhood and what does it looklike for you?
Speaker 3 (04:47):
For me, it's been a series of different feelings on
that topic.
When I was younger, I wasdiagnosed with PCOS.
Yes, so I was told that I couldnever have a chance of
conceiving a child.
Yeah, and so I watched mysisters both, uh, have their
(05:07):
children and clung to them andloved on them like they were my
own.
But I was always left with thatjust yearning and that sadness
that that was something I wasnever gonna have.
You know, yeah, um, by thegrace of God, that is not true.
And I found myself pregnant forthe first time.
I was 25 years old and had ayear, clean and sober, and I was
(05:34):
just ecstatic.
You know, it was another flipof the switch.
It was scary because I hadnever experienced it.
I was scared because they toldme it would never happen.
So I was so protective of theentire pregnancy.
Every little thing, everylittle bump just scared me.
(05:55):
Yeah, but we got through thatand I have an amazing son today
because I have two beautifuldaughters, even after they told
me again I would have slim to nochance of ever conceiving again
.
After each one of them, I tellyou, god has the final say for
sure.
Oh, he does.
And you know, I've gotten tothe communication I have with
(06:17):
him today.
I think when I give him any ofmy plans I can actually hear
that big belly laugh.
Now like that's what you think'sgonna happen sure, that's what
you think yeah, so, uh, it'sjust, it's been a series.
I can't really say one impact.
There's just been so manydifferent impacts where I feel
(06:37):
like my life has shifted into acompletely new direction, and,
of course, motherhood was one ofthem.
The other one was, well, I hada miscarriage in 2013.
And so that was verydevastating, you know it.
My motherhood changed then, youknow, because I had a mourning
(06:57):
inside of me that I had neverfelt before Very hard to cope.
Back then I didn't have therapy.
Uh, I had to let go of thethings that were working for me
to help me stay sober, and so,mentally, I started backtracking
in the way I thought aboutmyself, you know, I thought I
did something wrong.
I did, I thought I wasn'tworthy.
(07:19):
Um, he was punishing me allthose old, you know and so it
allowed it to let me fall backinto relapse, you know.
And so, in doing that, itchanged again.
You know, I strived hard tocling to God, but the depression
(07:41):
was so heavy that I just didn'tknow how to live without the
depression, and so the drugshelped me cope, or so I believe.
You know, at the end of that, ittook everything.
Yeah, you know, it tookeverything.
(08:01):
I was separated from mychildren and motherhood changed
again.
Yeah, it was pretty bittersweet, you know.
It's been a long seven years,almost eight years now A journey
that has humbled me a lot.
Yeah, it took me to a placewhere the only thing I had to
(08:22):
cling to was God.
Yeah, and I had those cling towas God.
Yeah, and I had those choices Ihad in one hand to continue on
the path that I was on and endup jail, prison or in hospitals
or dead.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Right and on the other hand, I could take that
step in the opposite directionand make an attempt to at least
get a relationship back with mykids.
Um, earn not their love becausethey loved me through all of it
, you know, but um, earn thatconfidence in me again where
(08:57):
they felt safe with me, wherethey weren't scared that I was
just not going to come home orthat I wasn't going to return or
I was going to go back outthere.
That's a that was my biggestfear that they would always be
scared that I was going to goback.
So it's been like I said.
Um, cps was involved and throughCPS I got introduced to therapy
(09:24):
.
I got introduced to PermiaCarehere in Odessa and they helped
me get through transition,through the beginning stages.
I fought the medication becauseI have an addict's mind, you
know, and so the medicationscared me a lot, you know.
You can buy most of that stuffon the streets and I was not
(09:47):
wanting to go back to thatmindset, you know.
So I finally found a doctorthat was willing to go slow with
me and I was honest with him.
I wasn't used to being honest.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
It was more like I don't really want you to know
how I'm thinking and feeling,because you might fit me for a
jacket how I'm thinking andfeeling, because you might fit
me for a jacket, or how did thatfeel when you um were able to
be honest with someone andactually kind of let them into
your thinking it?
Speaker 3 (10:14):
was such a relief.
It really was, because I thinkthe one we like to the most is
ourselves.
Yeah, and as long as we keepthese words, we think it's our
shield.
And when all reality you know,everybody sees that I looked
like I was dying.
You know, I went from veryhealthy to 100 pounds lighter
(10:36):
and I'm seeing pictures now youcan see like I was dying.
I was slowly dying, and so whenI think about what my kids saw
when they looked at me.
Oh man, it was very eye opening.
So this was the first time I'dbeen in Calston before, because
you know, if you have a mind, alife like mine, they tend to
(10:58):
send you there a lot.
Yes, and I always had thatmindset that, okay, you could
kind of tell when the counselorsare, you know, just giving you
out of a workbook, yeah, and itwas like, oh, they're not going
to listen to me, so I'll just Iknow the other side of it, I'll
just tell them what they want tohear you know Right.
And sure enough, you know, threemonths, I'm good, signed off,
(11:27):
you know.
She has no problem, she'sovercame, you know.
The only one was it was a lie,you know.
And so I ended up still withthe same issues as the first
time I was in my addictionbefore I even had children.
Yeah, having to face those sameissues, you know, and it was
like man, you don't realize, youjust get so comfortable with it
there, whether it's good foryou or not, that you don't
realize how heavy that stuffgets and how much it um changes
(11:49):
the way you react to people andsituations, you know.
So I got very reclusive and Ididn't want to share with
anybody, I didn't want to talkwith anybody, so I literally
went into my first uh, therapyokay, real therapy appointment,
bawling my eyes out, crying allthe way up there.
And her first question, ofcourse, is how are you?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Yeah, the lady asked me that today and I said well.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Well, and I actually had the nerve right to tell her
I'm fine, like I'm fine, and shewas like it does not match
what's going on with you.
Sure, you're fine, because Iwas to the point where I wanted
change and was scared of it atthe same time.
Yeah, and so it was just like Iwas on eggshells.
(12:36):
I did not know how to react tome going in there and telling
the truth finally, yeah, so itwas now.
I think it's hilarious, youknow, and I see that counselor
and she still laughs at me ohreally, yes, but it was just so
mind-blowing, the simple thingsthat she showed me.
(12:56):
Yeah, just to kind of reprogramhow I saw situations, and it
was like I never thought aboutit, like it's so simple and just
repeating right until, justlike the bad things that we
think about ourselves, weprogram them in there over and
over and over again.
Well, if we can just workthrough them one at a time, I
(13:20):
can finally say I can look inthe mirror today and I love what
I see.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
I can see it in other people's eyes when I meet them
and when I'm talking to them.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
It's like they really like me.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
They really like being around me.
They're not just playing,they're not faking.
So when my kids hug me and tellme that they're proud of me.
Oh my gosh yeah, because they'vegotten to see so many different
sides of me, and I think theywere the first ones I was
finally honest with, you know,because I sat them down and told
(13:52):
them they knew me in recovery.
They, they knew we had beenaddicts but had never lived it,
if that makes sense, you know.
So them seeing it at the endwas, um, I'm sure, heartbreaking
for them.
And you know you don'tunderstand that, the why's in it
, especially for young kids, youknow.
But they kept on loving me andencouraging me and they never
(14:18):
gave up on me.
Hmm, so that has shifted towhere I can.
I can feel that I am good, likemy decisions are okay.
You know, it was for the bestof them, for the best for me, to
be able to grow and they'vegotten to watch that journey and
so I can gratefully say my kidsknow god today because they've
(14:44):
seen him in action.
There is no doubt that theyhave seen that.
They have seen him in actionthrough, through our lives.
You know, and it's lives thatwe've lived together and grown
together and uh.
So as much as it hurt to gothrough those experiences, I am
grateful for them because Iwouldn't be, I wouldn't be
(15:06):
sitting here sharing, I'd beholed up, you know, probably
still in my depression, yeah,hovering over them, and you know
what I mean.
And, um, I'm grateful todaythat god can use every one of us
, like even my kids, you know,talking to other kids in foster
care that see no hope, sometimeswith their parents, and they
can say just keep praying, youknow.
(15:27):
And uh, look my mom, my momwent through that too, and be
able to share that with somebody, because our foster care system
is so full of kids that feelunloved, yeah, and without hope,
and so to be able to share notnot just my story for parents,
but their story with them, withthe children, oh man, I'm
(15:52):
blessed and and they're truly,truly, just a blessing.
They really are.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Y'all are being hope carriers.
Yes, I love that.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
So I'm going to show you I intend to hope a live
church.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Okay, and Pastor Cliff, maybe it at least had to
be a month ago, maybe two months, but part of his sermons he was
telling like to go out in theworld and be um carriers of hope
.
Yes, so I just it's funny howthat how he?
Speaker 3 (16:21):
works around it.
I'm like okay, lord, thanksyeah, because he does bring
everything back around.
He really does.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Yeah, no I, I'm telling you god is in the
details he is.
I mean down to the fact of whenI was looking at doing this
mini series on motherhood andsitting down and having
conversations with moms on whattheir journey through motherhood
looks like.
Mom, like I wanted the momwhere you know their journey is
(17:01):
not quote-unquote normal.
I had my aunt on where you knowshe had kids later.
I think she actually had kidsaround the same age as you, if
not a little bit older, um, she,but she's also now a
grandmother.
So just that journey.
Um, I had my friend on last weekand you know she was, um, she's
a first responder's wife, sosometimes her she doesn't always
have her husband um, they'represent, so sometimes she has to
(17:22):
occupy, almost like she's asingle mom, but she's not um,
but just balancing that out andask, answering all the uh little
ones questions.
So, but then I was like, whatabout the moms with, like, not
just struggle but have even losttheir little one?
Yeah, when this holiday comesup, like, how do you navigate
(17:43):
that space?
It is it's been.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
That's still a journey.
Yeah, I have just recentlystarted being able to talk about
it without just fully going oninto a crying session, you know,
and I think it's just we neverforget.
Yeah, you know I don't thinkI'm alone in that, that.
I have had the opportunity totalk to a lot of women that.
(18:08):
But since it happened, you knowwhat I mean it opened doors to
that conversation with otherwomen and for me it was like
just so heartbreaking to thepoint that it's like that's all
I could think about.
You know, and I'm not the onlyone that lost them, you know,
because I I was five and a halfmonths pregnant, so my kids had
(18:30):
already been listening to mybelly.
They've been feeling thekicking they they had, and you,
my husband, at the time, we hadalready embraced this child into
our lives.
So, coming home from thehospital after emotionally
getting drained ourselves, itwas just devastating that we had
(18:54):
to tell our three children thattheir brother wasn't going to
come.
You're okay.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
You're okay.
Well, I'm proud of you forbeing able to speak about it to
let other women know you're notin this alone.
No, never.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
And I think that was one of the biggest things that a
lot of the mothers that Italked to that experienced this.
It was like the oldergeneration they would just take
the baby away and not let theirmother have closure.
Yeah, Now with my son we hadtwo hours.
Then we got to hold him, we gotto baptize him and we got to
(19:35):
give him back to the Lord.
They were precious moments.
Yeah, I couldn't imagine howhard it'd be to act like the
baby never existed.
Yeah, no, as soon as you knowthere is nothing that's going to
stop your heart from justautomatically loving.
Yeah, it doesn't matter ifyou're four weeks, if you're,
(19:57):
you know all the way to the endit's.
But a lot of women suffer aloneand the fathers get pulled out
of that.
Like you know, they experienceit too.
It's a loss for both parents,that's true.
And, like I said, when you'vegot children it's a family
affair, and so it doesn't juststop with the mom, but sometimes
(20:22):
they do.
They just shut down because ifyou think about it it tears you
up, and if you don't, you feelguilty and I mean like I
couldn't even talk as soon asthe thought was there, it was
broke.
Just break down, you know.
But now I mean getting as closeas I have to God.
(20:45):
Death is a transition, you know,and I believe with my full
heart that I will meet him again.
You know, and it was anexperience Of.
Of course, you don't wish it onanybody, right?
But uh, you can get through it.
You know, you don't ever forget.
You always remember the day.
(21:06):
You always think what wouldthey look like you know, and you
look at your other children.
It's like, well, you know, youknow they already had the same
nose, they, they already had theyou know and what.
So you're in wonder about thembut, still grateful.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
That, you know, even if it was just for that short
time, it brought me to a wholenew, one of those big things
that changed my life, and itdidn't look good at the
beginning, but it was a blessing, because it brought me so much
closer to God, to to havingrelationship with other people,
to being able to relate to otherpeople, to see that, you know,
(21:46):
I felt so alone in those times,yeah, and whether it was in my
sadness, in my addiction, in my,I always felt very alone and I
wouldn't.
So I try not to allow anybodyaround me to feel alone, if that
makes sense it does If.
I noticed that person because Iwas that quiet person that, yes
(22:08):
, I was always smiling butwouldn't make a big impression.
Yeah, you, just I was in the mixand we're made to be set apart,
we're made to stand out, and soif our story and testimony can
help somebody else find thatlittle bit of hope that you know
what I can get through this,then I will share it Every
(22:31):
opportunity I get.
Wow, wow, it's good, it is verygood telling god is good and
it's just.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
It's amazing to me that the details that he shows
up, like the way he shows up foryour life and then turns around
it shows up for my life and hisshowing up may look a little
different from your showing up,because he kind of meets you
where you're at and I'm likesometimes I'm always like dude,
that's like you're amazing,because I mean I don't have kids
(23:02):
but I know like obviously mymom she has three, but there's
well, there's more than three ofus.
But anyway, to be able toparent different kids and meet
them where they're at, I can, Iknow that's just because I've
heard, but just how god can meetall of us where we're at.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
And I'll tell you what Just because you don't have
children does not mean youdon't have a mother's heart.
Oh, because I will tell you me,before I had children, I was
mothering everybody.
Yeah, you know, I even gotgrown-ups that call me mom still
, because it's just that heartthat he gives us.
(23:40):
Yeah, and it really is.
It's like you will mother anychild around you and you will
give them the love like theywere yours.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
You really do, I definitely.
It's one of those things where,like Erin and I have had
conversations about this.
But we're not pressing for kids.
We don't have them right now,but any kid that's in our
presence we do love on likethey're our own.
Yes, we pour into, we answerour phone, we help, support,
(24:11):
whatever it may be.
I'm always saying you know theauntie, uncle that does all the
extra.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Mother, mom second and then you really are, because
I'll tell you what myrelationship with my aunt is.
The same way.
It's like you get close, ittakes a village, and that is not
a lie, because you, we cometogether as a community to help
the children, the, the women,the, the men, whoever's
struggling.
(24:39):
That's what we're supposed todo.
Yeah, you know, and that'swhere I think we do.
We lack a lot, becausesometimes we let people pass us
by and we know and we can see,and we just walk away because
we're scared to ask.
And I mean just to ask catch,you know, make eye contact and
just let them know.
We're scared to ask, yeah, andI mean just to ask catch it, you
know, make eye contact and justlet them know they're seen.
(25:00):
It makes such a difference.
It does, yes, and so it's.
You can make a difference.
One person can make adifference, yeah, and one
person's life, yeah, and oneright after another.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
So even at the grocery store.
Kind of goes back to plantingthe seed.
Yes, my issue was I wanted toplant the seed and water the
plant, and I had to realizesometimes it's more about just
planting the seed.
It is, and God will allowpeople to water it, but just
plant it.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
Yeah, it's going to take a group of people to
nourish and grow that tree.
I had an issue.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
I had to plant the seed water it, trim it.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
You have complete control over the little thing I
am not.
God at all.
So let me stop.
The only thing I got myselfinto was very bad situations and
made a lot of mistakes.
Same, I don't trust mydecisions.
I trust God a little bit morethan my own, you know.
(26:02):
So when he leads me and putsopportunity in front of me like
this, then as much as my brainis saying no, inside it's like
okay, yeah, yeah, I'll do it.
Because it's not what I wouldnormally do see, so it has to be
God.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Which is funny, because I was like in my head
what?
Speaker 1 (26:21):
was that Monday you?
Speaker 2 (26:22):
guys came right.
I think it was Monday.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
I think so, or was it Friday?
I think it was.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Friday.
Yeah.
So I was like God, just itreally was the Holy Spirit
talking to me.
He was like, look, this is whatI want and it just has
something to do with a motherthat dealt with the loss.
And I was like I don't know ifthat's kind of like such a
sensitive topic, yes, and Iwasn't going to be like hey, did
you lose it?
(26:46):
That's just not.
And then just happened to walkin and then I think I mentioned
the podcast first and I saidthis is great.
And I said I've wanted thistopic and you were like, oh,
I've gone through that yeah, andthat's when God like starts
throwing
Speaker 1 (27:00):
stuff out of my mouth and he's like stop it.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
You know I was like what?
Speaker 2 (27:05):
and I was like oh yeah, no, I said you're the one
I've been waiting on, didn'tknow, and I sure didn't know
where God was taking me that day, you know it was like he
brought me full circle.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
No to eight years ago yeah, he did, and so I think it
was just one of those divineinterventions.
Yeah, and if you look for him,you'll see him everywhere.
Oh, won't you?
Speaker 2 (27:25):
yes, and it's crazy because, like I think, sometimes
we we often stomp on the, thelittle one, the little
intervention.
In a little way, god shows youthat he's present.
But those matter too.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Yes, all of them do yeah and I'm like for us.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
I know we pray at night.
It's always like thank you, godfor allowing us to make it back
home to our beds.
The amount of especially caraccidents that happen here is
wild.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
It is, and it is so scary and it is, um, it is so
scary.
And being on where God's got meas far as a job, it just amazes
me.
You know what I mean?
How lonely people are, how ourneighbors, like we don't know.
I still remember one time myson I guess we didn't have cable
(28:08):
back then, you know.
So we're watching those oldtime shows right, and I don't
know if you saw it on TV.
I don't know why he asked thisquestion, but he was like Mom,
why don't we take a basket ofbread to our neighbors?
Like we don't even know ourneighbors, like why don't we
take them a basket of bread?
And I was like where did thatcome from?
You know, but back in otherdays you knew your neighbors,
(28:30):
yeah, I definitely don't knowmine.
Yeah, and it's like where didall that go?
Like we're so separated that itis as a community, as brothers
and sisters in Christ.
It's like we're meant to bethere for one another and we
just got to step into itsometimes and be open.
It's like I said, simple as asmile hey, how are you today?
(28:50):
You can ask me that question.
Like I said, you might get adifferent reaction.
Either I'll be bawling or Godwill start introducing all kinds
of stuff Like where did thatcome?
Speaker 2 (29:00):
from.
Why are we here?
Speaker 3 (29:01):
That's a real answer though it is.
It is and it's like okay, well,it all counts.
Yeah, every single, everymoment you know, every single,
every moment you know it's um,we can make a difference in
every, in a moment's time.
No, just like those big impactsjust being seen, it, um, it
(29:22):
helps, because I remember beinginvisible for so long, like it,
and I believed that I did notmatter, yeah, that my pain did
not matter, yeah, that my paindid not matter, that, and it was
a complete lie.
A complete lie.
But when we just walk next topeople and not ask a basic
question like how are you?
(29:42):
Yeah, it could change theirwhole day.
You know, it could.
You just don't know.
But are we willing to try?
Speaker 2 (29:50):
That's like I told you that story.
It was Friday, for for sure youguys came by because I know
this.
I told you this story when Iwas talking to a community
partner, the female um, and thiswas obviously before mother's
day.
But I said, happy mother's day.
And she's like, do you have asecond?
And I said, yeah, I thinkthat's another.
It's just me, you know being me.
(30:10):
And um, she was like I.
I have a little one that's um,has disabilities, and she
doesn't know one day fromanother and she will never be
able to tell me happy mother'sday.
Yeah, so you saying those words, words.
You don't know how much thatreally meant to me and how god
just used you just then and Isaid I actually think for a
(30:32):
second I was like, oh, I saidwell, ma'am, happy mother's day
because I didn't.
I didn't know what to say youjust give them a big hug and I
was like, oh, and I was like,well, I said thank you for
everything that you do for her,because I I've um been a
(30:53):
business manager for an icffacility that helps take care of
um individuals that havedisabilities, so I know what
that's like yes um so I justmeant you know, told her thank
you and happy mother's day againand she was like I think she
said like god bless you and Iwas like thank you, same to you
and phone call ended.
Speaker 3 (31:08):
But I was like oh, that's when god just uses you as
a channel.
It's like flip flip and it'slike, okay, you don't know
what's going on yet but you'repart of it.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
I just called her.
I think I actually called her.
She didn't answer.
I left the voicemail.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
She called me back yeah, and just as simple as that
.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
Yeah and changed her whole day, for the day lasted a
hot maybe five minutes.
Yeah, maybe yes.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
So yeah, it's like you said, it takes a little time
it does, and and the impact,though, on yours might have been
not such a big deal yeah, onhers, though, yeah, it's
probably life-changing yeah, Ipromise you, I was like I'm not
really speechless that often,but when she said that I was
like oh yeah, you know what tosay, but you're right.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Well, is there anything else um that you have
for us, any more encouragementthat you want to leave um the
guests with listeners?
Speaker 3 (31:59):
with us have a guest the listeners well, just that,
if you fall into any of thecategories you know that I
mentioned today, know thatyou're not alone, yeah, um, know
that there's somewhere orsomeone.
All you've got to do is look up, look up.
You know, when we're in thoseplaces, we have a tendency of
looking at the ground, yeah, andsometimes we miss the people
(32:22):
that God puts in front of us.
We just need to look up, if notseek out.
I don't like a body of Christ,you know.
It doesn't matter which one.
We're all connected through thelove of God, and so ask
questions.
You know, if you're hearingthis for a reason, then you know
(32:44):
, make contact if you can.
In some way we've got resources.
You know, we'll pray with you,we'll pray for you.
I try to keep that constantlyin my prayers.
Anything I've been through, youknow, we'll pray with you,
we'll pray for you.
I try to keep that constantlyin my prayers.
Anything I've been through, youknow, any kind of abuse, any
kind of addiction, and because Iremember those moments were my
darkest moments and so I callout to them just to give it a
(33:07):
chance.
You know God will introduce youto somebody that will show you
something different.
He works through us, yeah, andso find a way, make a decision.
That was my first thing.
Make a decision that you wantsomething different and ask god,
you know hey you want to comeparty with me?
Speaker 2 (33:28):
you know, hey, I like to go back you.
You wanna come party with me?
Speaker 3 (33:32):
I'll tell you what because he, he will definitely
take you on a mind-blowingexperience hey, that is the
truth.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
You know what?
Speaker 3 (33:38):
I've never heard that like that but you're 100
correct yeah, I mean thelifestyles I lived.
It was I got myself involved inso many things to want to
change the way I felt.
Try God the best one and hewill definitely change how you
feel and he can bring you out.
It might take some time, but itis completely worth it wow.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Well, thank you again for coming on and sharing your
journey for those that arelistening.
I just wanted to end withyou're loved, you're seen.
You end with you're loved,you're seen, you're enough,
you're wanted, you're valued.
And, like she mentioned, youknow, if you really reach out,
you can message me, dm me andwe'll get you where you need to
(34:27):
be.
If you need prayer, you canalways reach out to me.
I can either pray with you overthe phone or in person.
If you're somewhere close, orjust want to just send a request
in, that's fine too.
I can pray for you.
Just say thank you.
Thank you, lord, for allowingus to see this day and thank you
, lord, for allowing theselisteners to listen.
(34:47):
And with that note, I say bye.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Thank you for listening to another episode of
standing in and with that note,I say bye, bye.
Thank you for listening toanother episode of Standing in
your Truth with Yanni.
And if no one told you today,you are loved, you are beautiful
, you are needed and you matter,be sure to follow on Facebook
at Standing in your TruthPodcast with Yanni.
Also on Instagram Talks withYanni.
(35:12):
Also on Instagram Talks withYanni.
Hello everyone, welcome to Standing In your
Truth podcast with your host,yanni.
On this podcast you'll hearYanni, family and friends having
open-ended discussions onanything from faith, finances,
relationships and how to staymotivated during life's trying
times.
Make sure to follow on allsocial media platforms.
(00:23):
The social media link is in thebio.
Sit back and get ready to enjoy.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of
Standing in your Truth podcast.
I am your host, yonnie.
How's it going?
I can say, for me personally,today was a day, but it's a day
that the lord has made, so Iwill be glad in it.
That's a song, I think, isn'tit?
I think one of those like oldchurch hymns.
(00:51):
Yes, I'm like, I think so.
So this is my um last episodefor this month, for mother's
hood.
Oh, mother's hood, motherhood.
I don't know why I said mothers.
Anyway, because I have multiplewomen on Into who's, I'm going
(01:11):
to allow my last, finalwonderful guest to introduce
herself.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Hello, my name is April Morales and I am a child
of God.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Alright, girl Alright .
So the first question is whatmotivates you?
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Other people motivate me.
My children motivate me.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Yeah, okay, I'm doing fine.
How do you protect your mentalhealth?
Prayer counseling.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Working through counseling, working through some
therapy, coping skills thatwere given to me and keeping a
close network of friends.
You know I do bible study.
I try to surround myself withpeople that are like minded yeah
, that's important.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
If not, they'll definitely bring you down.
I know I actually just had myfirst therapy session today with
my new therapist, um.
I put myself back into therapyin person.
I had an option option to do umvirtually again and I was like
no something different aboutbeing able to sit and for her to
see all of my facialexpressions and for you to see
(02:23):
hers.
Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm sure she'sprobably like reading mine more,
because I definitely can give afacial expression, if you know.
You know, yes, but all right,well, I'm proud of you for being
in therapy, I'm proud of youfor starting you.
Thank you, girl.
Thank you, that's one of thefirst things she said.
She's like oh good, you know,congrats for signing up, and I
(02:43):
was like yes, I said I tell myfriend all the time, but some of
them are like gay.
Some of them are like you'redoing what and I'm like you
don't understand how that wouldreally, it really releases you,
gives you that safe place itdoes and also helps you grow.
Yes, so uh, what advice wouldyou give your younger self cling
?
Speaker 3 (02:59):
to god, learn to trust him.
Yeah, outside of this, thisworld because that was one of my
biggest battles was learninghow to trust, especially that we
put a hymn on it.
With the experiences I've hadin my life, it was very hard to
trust Him, and so I had to kindof change my view and put a
(03:25):
different picture.
It's still him, but it had tobe a softer, kinder spirit to
him, and that was probably mybiggest one.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Okay, wow, that's a different view.
I've heard from how otherpeople have broken that down.
What is one moment in your lifethat has really shaped your
life or made a huge impact?
My children.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
They have, I was told I could never have them.
Yeah, so the first time I foundout I was pregnant, it was a
complete flip of everything Ibelieved about myself and what I
was worthy of being blessedwith.
Yeah and so, yes, the birth ofmy children.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
And also the loss of a child?
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Yes, we're going to get into that.
What is your mindset whenyou're told no, or the door
shuts.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
It wasn't meant for me.
Okay, it wasn't meant for me,so we're gonna look for another
door.
Yeah, it's just a differentpath.
It's not made for everybody,yeah okay, all righty.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
So, like I said earlier, obviously this is um
about motherhood.
So, if you don't mind sharingwith us your journey of
motherhood and what does it looklike for you?
Speaker 3 (04:47):
For me, it's been a series of different feelings on
that topic.
When I was younger, I wasdiagnosed with PCOS.
Yes, so I was told that I couldnever have a chance of
conceiving a child.
Yeah, and so I watched mysisters both, uh, have their
(05:07):
children and clung to them andloved on them like they were my
own.
But I was always left with thatjust yearning and that sadness
that that was something I wasnever gonna have.
You know, yeah, um, by thegrace of God, that is not true.
And I found myself pregnant forthe first time.
I was 25 years old and had ayear, clean and sober, and I was
(05:34):
just ecstatic.
You know, it was another flipof the switch.
It was scary because I hadnever experienced it.
I was scared because they toldme it would never happen.
So I was so protective of theentire pregnancy.
Every little thing, everylittle bump just scared me.
(05:55):
Yeah, but we got through thatand I have an amazing son today
because I have two beautifuldaughters, even after they told
me again I would have slim to nochance of ever conceiving again
.
After each one of them, I tellyou, god has the final say for
sure.
Oh, he does.
And you know, I've gotten tothe communication I have with
(06:17):
him today.
I think when I give him any ofmy plans I can actually hear
that big belly laugh.
Now like that's what you think'sgonna happen sure, that's what
you think yeah, so, uh, it'sjust, it's been a series.
I can't really say one impact.
There's just been so manydifferent impacts where I feel
(06:37):
like my life has shifted into acompletely new direction, and,
of course, motherhood was one ofthem.
The other one was, well, I hada miscarriage in 2013.
And so that was verydevastating, you know it.
My motherhood changed then, youknow, because I had a mourning
(06:57):
inside of me that I had neverfelt before Very hard to cope.
Back then I didn't have therapy.
Uh, I had to let go of thethings that were working for me
to help me stay sober, and so,mentally, I started backtracking
in the way I thought aboutmyself, you know, I thought I
did something wrong.
I did, I thought I wasn'tworthy.
(07:19):
Um, he was punishing me allthose old, you know and so it
allowed it to let me fall backinto relapse, you know.
And so, in doing that, itchanged again.
You know, I strived hard tocling to God, but the depression
(07:41):
was so heavy that I just didn'tknow how to live without the
depression, and so the drugshelped me cope, or so I believe.
You know, at the end of that, ittook everything.
Yeah, you know, it tookeverything.
(08:01):
I was separated from mychildren and motherhood changed
again.
Yeah, it was pretty bittersweet, you know.
It's been a long seven years,almost eight years now A journey
that has humbled me a lot.
Yeah, it took me to a placewhere the only thing I had to
(08:22):
cling to was God.
Yeah, and I had those cling towas God.
Yeah, and I had those choices Ihad in one hand to continue on
the path that I was on and endup jail, prison or in hospitals
or dead.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Right and on the other hand, I could take that
step in the opposite directionand make an attempt to at least
get a relationship back with mykids.
Um, earn not their love becausethey loved me through all of it
, you know, but um, earn thatconfidence in me again where
(08:57):
they felt safe with me, wherethey weren't scared that I was
just not going to come home orthat I wasn't going to return or
I was going to go back outthere.
That's a that was my biggestfear that they would always be
scared that I was going to goback.
So it's been like I said.
Um, cps was involved and throughCPS I got introduced to therapy
(09:24):
.
I got introduced to PermiaCarehere in Odessa and they helped
me get through transition,through the beginning stages.
I fought the medication becauseI have an addict's mind, you
know, and so the medicationscared me a lot, you know.
You can buy most of that stuffon the streets and I was not
(09:47):
wanting to go back to thatmindset, you know.
So I finally found a doctorthat was willing to go slow with
me and I was honest with him.
I wasn't used to being honest.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
It was more like I don't really want you to know
how I'm thinking and feeling,because you might fit me for a
jacket how I'm thinking andfeeling, because you might fit
me for a jacket, or how did thatfeel when you um were able to
be honest with someone andactually kind of let them into
your thinking it?
Speaker 3 (10:14):
was such a relief.
It really was, because I thinkthe one we like to the most is
ourselves.
Yeah, and as long as we keepthese words, we think it's our
shield.
And when all reality you know,everybody sees that I looked
like I was dying.
You know, I went from veryhealthy to 100 pounds lighter
(10:36):
and I'm seeing pictures now youcan see like I was dying.
I was slowly dying, and so whenI think about what my kids saw
when they looked at me.
Oh man, it was very eye opening.
So this was the first time I'dbeen in Calston before, because
you know, if you have a mind, alife like mine, they tend to
(10:58):
send you there a lot.
Yes, and I always had thatmindset that, okay, you could
kind of tell when the counselorsare, you know, just giving you
out of a workbook, yeah, and itwas like, oh, they're not going
to listen to me, so I'll just Iknow the other side of it, I'll
just tell them what they want tohear you know Right.
And sure enough, you know, threemonths, I'm good, signed off,
(11:27):
you know.
She has no problem, she'sovercame, you know.
The only one was it was a lie,you know.
And so I ended up still withthe same issues as the first
time I was in my addictionbefore I even had children.
Yeah, having to face those sameissues, you know, and it was
like man, you don't realize, youjust get so comfortable with it
there, whether it's good foryou or not, that you don't
realize how heavy that stuffgets and how much it um changes
(11:49):
the way you react to people andsituations, you know.
So I got very reclusive and Ididn't want to share with
anybody, I didn't want to talkwith anybody, so I literally
went into my first uh, therapyokay, real therapy appointment,
bawling my eyes out, crying allthe way up there.
And her first question, ofcourse, is how are you?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Yeah, the lady asked me that today and I said well.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Well, and I actually had the nerve right to tell her
I'm fine, like I'm fine, and shewas like it does not match
what's going on with you.
Sure, you're fine, because Iwas to the point where I wanted
change and was scared of it atthe same time.
Yeah, and so it was just like Iwas on eggshells.
(12:36):
I did not know how to react tome going in there and telling
the truth finally, yeah, so itwas now.
I think it's hilarious, youknow, and I see that counselor
and she still laughs at me ohreally, yes, but it was just so
mind-blowing, the simple thingsthat she showed me.
(12:56):
Yeah, just to kind of reprogramhow I saw situations, and it
was like I never thought aboutit, like it's so simple and just
repeating right until, justlike the bad things that we
think about ourselves, weprogram them in there over and
over and over again.
Well, if we can just workthrough them one at a time, I
(13:20):
can finally say I can look inthe mirror today and I love what
I see.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
I can see it in other people's eyes when I meet them
and when I'm talking to them.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
It's like they really like me.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
They really like being around me.
They're not just playing,they're not faking.
So when my kids hug me and tellme that they're proud of me.
Oh my gosh yeah, because they'vegotten to see so many different
sides of me, and I think theywere the first ones I was
finally honest with, you know,because I sat them down and told
(13:52):
them they knew me in recovery.
They, they knew we had beenaddicts but had never lived it,
if that makes sense, you know.
So them seeing it at the endwas, um, I'm sure, heartbreaking
for them.
And you know you don'tunderstand that, the why's in it
, especially for young kids, youknow.
But they kept on loving me andencouraging me and they never
(14:18):
gave up on me.
Hmm, so that has shifted towhere I can.
I can feel that I am good, likemy decisions are okay.
You know, it was for the bestof them, for the best for me, to
be able to grow and they'vegotten to watch that journey and
so I can gratefully say my kidsknow god today because they've
(14:44):
seen him in action.
There is no doubt that theyhave seen that.
They have seen him in actionthrough, through our lives.
You know, and it's lives thatwe've lived together and grown
together and uh.
So as much as it hurt to gothrough those experiences, I am
grateful for them because Iwouldn't be, I wouldn't be
(15:06):
sitting here sharing, I'd beholed up, you know, probably
still in my depression, yeah,hovering over them, and you know
what I mean.
And, um, I'm grateful todaythat god can use every one of us
, like even my kids, you know,talking to other kids in foster
care that see no hope, sometimeswith their parents, and they
can say just keep praying, youknow.
(15:27):
And uh, look my mom, my momwent through that too, and be
able to share that with somebody, because our foster care system
is so full of kids that feelunloved, yeah, and without hope,
and so to be able to share notnot just my story for parents,
but their story with them, withthe children, oh man, I'm
(15:52):
blessed and and they're truly,truly, just a blessing.
They really are.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Y'all are being hope carriers.
Yes, I love that.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
So I'm going to show you I intend to hope a live
church.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Okay, and Pastor Cliff, maybe it at least had to
be a month ago, maybe two months, but part of his sermons he was
telling like to go out in theworld and be um carriers of hope
.
Yes, so I just it's funny howthat how he?
Speaker 3 (16:21):
works around it.
I'm like okay, lord, thanksyeah, because he does bring
everything back around.
He really does.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Yeah, no I, I'm telling you god is in the
details he is.
I mean down to the fact of whenI was looking at doing this
mini series on motherhood andsitting down and having
conversations with moms on whattheir journey through motherhood
looks like.
Mom, like I wanted the momwhere you know their journey is
(17:01):
not quote-unquote normal.
I had my aunt on where you knowshe had kids later.
I think she actually had kidsaround the same age as you, if
not a little bit older, um, she,but she's also now a
grandmother.
So just that journey.
Um, I had my friend on last weekand you know she was, um, she's
a first responder's wife, sosometimes her she doesn't always
have her husband um, they'represent, so sometimes she has to
(17:22):
occupy, almost like she's asingle mom, but she's not um,
but just balancing that out andask, answering all the uh little
ones questions.
So, but then I was like, whatabout the moms with, like, not
just struggle but have even losttheir little one?
Yeah, when this holiday comesup, like, how do you navigate
(17:43):
that space?
It is it's been.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
That's still a journey.
Yeah, I have just recentlystarted being able to talk about
it without just fully going oninto a crying session, you know,
and I think it's just we neverforget.
Yeah, you know I don't thinkI'm alone in that, that.
I have had the opportunity totalk to a lot of women that.
(18:08):
But since it happened, you knowwhat I mean it opened doors to
that conversation with otherwomen and for me it was like
just so heartbreaking to thepoint that it's like that's all
I could think about.
You know, and I'm not the onlyone that lost them, you know,
because I I was five and a halfmonths pregnant, so my kids had
(18:30):
already been listening to mybelly.
They've been feeling thekicking they they had, and you,
my husband, at the time, we hadalready embraced this child into
our lives.
So, coming home from thehospital after emotionally
getting drained ourselves, itwas just devastating that we had
(18:54):
to tell our three children thattheir brother wasn't going to
come.
You're okay.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
You're okay.
Well, I'm proud of you forbeing able to speak about it to
let other women know you're notin this alone.
No, never.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
And I think that was one of the biggest things that a
lot of the mothers that Italked to that experienced this.
It was like the oldergeneration they would just take
the baby away and not let theirmother have closure.
Yeah, Now with my son we hadtwo hours.
Then we got to hold him, we gotto baptize him and we got to
(19:35):
give him back to the Lord.
They were precious moments.
Yeah, I couldn't imagine howhard it'd be to act like the
baby never existed.
Yeah, no, as soon as you knowthere is nothing that's going to
stop your heart from justautomatically loving.
Yeah, it doesn't matter ifyou're four weeks, if you're,
(19:57):
you know all the way to the endit's.
But a lot of women suffer aloneand the fathers get pulled out
of that.
Like you know, they experienceit too.
It's a loss for both parents,that's true.
And, like I said, when you'vegot children it's a family
affair, and so it doesn't juststop with the mom, but sometimes
(20:22):
they do.
They just shut down because ifyou think about it it tears you
up, and if you don't, you feelguilty and I mean like I
couldn't even talk as soon asthe thought was there, it was
broke.
Just break down, you know.
But now I mean getting as closeas I have to God.
(20:45):
Death is a transition, you know,and I believe with my full
heart that I will meet him again.
You know, and it was anexperience Of.
Of course, you don't wish it onanybody, right?
But uh, you can get through it.
You know, you don't ever forget.
You always remember the day.
(21:06):
You always think what wouldthey look like you know, and you
look at your other children.
It's like, well, you know, youknow they already had the same
nose, they, they already had theyou know and what.
So you're in wonder about thembut, still grateful.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
That, you know, even if it was just for that short
time, it brought me to a wholenew, one of those big things
that changed my life, and itdidn't look good at the
beginning, but it was a blessing, because it brought me so much
closer to God, to to havingrelationship with other people,
to being able to relate to otherpeople, to see that, you know,
(21:46):
I felt so alone in those times,yeah, and whether it was in my
sadness, in my addiction, in my,I always felt very alone and I
wouldn't.
So I try not to allow anybodyaround me to feel alone, if that
makes sense it does If.
I noticed that person because Iwas that quiet person that, yes
(22:08):
, I was always smiling butwouldn't make a big impression.
Yeah, you, just I was in the mixand we're made to be set apart,
we're made to stand out, and soif our story and testimony can
help somebody else find thatlittle bit of hope that you know
what I can get through this,then I will share it Every
(22:31):
opportunity I get.
Wow, wow, it's good, it is verygood telling god is good and
it's just.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
It's amazing to me that the details that he shows
up, like the way he shows up foryour life and then turns around
it shows up for my life and hisshowing up may look a little
different from your showing up,because he kind of meets you
where you're at and I'm likesometimes I'm always like dude,
that's like you're amazing,because I mean I don't have kids
(23:02):
but I know like obviously mymom she has three, but there's
well, there's more than three ofus.
But anyway, to be able toparent different kids and meet
them where they're at, I can, Iknow that's just because I've
heard, but just how god can meetall of us where we're at.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
And I'll tell you what Just because you don't have
children does not mean youdon't have a mother's heart.
Oh, because I will tell you me,before I had children, I was
mothering everybody.
Yeah, you know, I even gotgrown-ups that call me mom still
, because it's just that heartthat he gives us.
(23:40):
Yeah, and it really is.
It's like you will mother anychild around you and you will
give them the love like theywere yours.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
You really do, I definitely.
It's one of those things where,like Erin and I have had
conversations about this.
But we're not pressing for kids.
We don't have them right now,but any kid that's in our
presence we do love on likethey're our own.
Yes, we pour into, we answerour phone, we help, support,
(24:11):
whatever it may be.
I'm always saying you know theauntie, uncle that does all the
extra.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Mother, mom second and then you really are, because
I'll tell you what myrelationship with my aunt is.
The same way.
It's like you get close, ittakes a village, and that is not
a lie, because you, we cometogether as a community to help
the children, the, the women,the, the men, whoever's
struggling.
(24:39):
That's what we're supposed todo.
Yeah, you know, and that'swhere I think we do.
We lack a lot, becausesometimes we let people pass us
by and we know and we can see,and we just walk away because
we're scared to ask.
And I mean just to ask catch,you know, make eye contact and
just let them know.
We're scared to ask, yeah, andI mean just to ask catch it, you
know, make eye contact and justlet them know they're seen.
(25:00):
It makes such a difference.
It does, yes, and so it's.
You can make a difference.
One person can make adifference, yeah, and one
person's life, yeah, and oneright after another.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
So even at the grocery store.
Kind of goes back to plantingthe seed.
Yes, my issue was I wanted toplant the seed and water the
plant, and I had to realizesometimes it's more about just
planting the seed.
It is, and God will allowpeople to water it, but just
plant it.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
Yeah, it's going to take a group of people to
nourish and grow that tree.
I had an issue.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
I had to plant the seed water it, trim it.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
You have complete control over the little thing I
am not.
God at all.
So let me stop.
The only thing I got myselfinto was very bad situations and
made a lot of mistakes.
Same, I don't trust mydecisions.
I trust God a little bit morethan my own, you know.
(26:02):
So when he leads me and putsopportunity in front of me like
this, then as much as my brainis saying no, inside it's like
okay, yeah, yeah, I'll do it.
Because it's not what I wouldnormally do see, so it has to be
God.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Which is funny, because I was like in my head
what?
Speaker 1 (26:21):
was that Monday you?
Speaker 2 (26:22):
guys came right.
I think it was Monday.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
I think so, or was it Friday?
I think it was.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Friday.
Yeah.
So I was like God, just itreally was the Holy Spirit
talking to me.
He was like, look, this is whatI want and it just has
something to do with a motherthat dealt with the loss.
And I was like I don't know ifthat's kind of like such a
sensitive topic, yes, and Iwasn't going to be like hey, did
you lose it?
(26:46):
That's just not.
And then just happened to walkin and then I think I mentioned
the podcast first and I saidthis is great.
And I said I've wanted thistopic and you were like, oh,
I've gone through that yeah, andthat's when God like starts
throwing
Speaker 1 (27:00):
stuff out of my mouth and he's like stop it.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
You know I was like what?
Speaker 2 (27:05):
and I was like oh yeah, no, I said you're the one
I've been waiting on, didn'tknow, and I sure didn't know
where God was taking me that day, you know it was like he
brought me full circle.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
No to eight years ago yeah, he did, and so I think it
was just one of those divineinterventions.
Yeah, and if you look for him,you'll see him everywhere.
Oh, won't you?
Speaker 2 (27:25):
yes, and it's crazy because, like I think, sometimes
we we often stomp on the, thelittle one, the little
intervention.
In a little way, god shows youthat he's present.
But those matter too.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Yes, all of them do yeah and I'm like for us.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
I know we pray at night.
It's always like thank you, godfor allowing us to make it back
home to our beds.
The amount of especially caraccidents that happen here is
wild.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
It is, and it is so scary and it is, um, it is so
scary.
And being on where God's got meas far as a job, it just amazes
me.
You know what I mean?
How lonely people are, how ourneighbors, like we don't know.
I still remember one time myson I guess we didn't have cable
(28:08):
back then, you know.
So we're watching those oldtime shows right, and I don't
know if you saw it on TV.
I don't know why he asked thisquestion, but he was like Mom,
why don't we take a basket ofbread to our neighbors?
Like we don't even know ourneighbors, like why don't we
take them a basket of bread?
And I was like where did thatcome from?
You know, but back in otherdays you knew your neighbors,
(28:30):
yeah, I definitely don't knowmine.
Yeah, and it's like where didall that go?
Like we're so separated that itis as a community, as brothers
and sisters in Christ.
It's like we're meant to bethere for one another and we
just got to step into itsometimes and be open.
It's like I said, simple as asmile hey, how are you today?
(28:50):
You can ask me that question.
Like I said, you might get adifferent reaction.
Either I'll be bawling or Godwill start introducing all kinds
of stuff Like where did thatcome?
Speaker 2 (29:00):
from.
Why are we here?
Speaker 3 (29:01):
That's a real answer though it is.
It is and it's like okay, well,it all counts.
Yeah, every single, everymoment you know, every single,
every moment you know it's um,we can make a difference in
every, in a moment's time.
No, just like those big impactsjust being seen, it, um, it
(29:22):
helps, because I remember beinginvisible for so long, like it,
and I believed that I did notmatter, yeah, that my pain did
not matter, yeah, that my paindid not matter, that, and it was
a complete lie.
A complete lie.
But when we just walk next topeople and not ask a basic
question like how are you?
(29:42):
Yeah, it could change theirwhole day.
You know, it could.
You just don't know.
But are we willing to try?
Speaker 2 (29:50):
That's like I told you that story.
It was Friday, for for sure youguys came by because I know
this.
I told you this story when Iwas talking to a community
partner, the female um, and thiswas obviously before mother's
day.
But I said, happy mother's day.
And she's like, do you have asecond?
And I said, yeah, I thinkthat's another.
It's just me, you know being me.
(30:10):
And um, she was like I.
I have a little one that's um,has disabilities, and she
doesn't know one day fromanother and she will never be
able to tell me happy mother'sday.
Yeah, so you saying those words, words.
You don't know how much thatreally meant to me and how god
just used you just then and Isaid I actually think for a
(30:32):
second I was like, oh, I saidwell, ma'am, happy mother's day
because I didn't.
I didn't know what to say youjust give them a big hug and I
was like, oh, and I was like,well, I said thank you for
everything that you do for her,because I I've um been a
(30:53):
business manager for an icffacility that helps take care of
um individuals that havedisabilities, so I know what
that's like yes um so I justmeant you know, told her thank
you and happy mother's day againand she was like I think she
said like god bless you and Iwas like thank you, same to you
and phone call ended.
Speaker 3 (31:08):
But I was like oh, that's when god just uses you as
a channel.
It's like flip flip and it'slike, okay, you don't know
what's going on yet but you'repart of it.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
I just called her.
I think I actually called her.
She didn't answer.
I left the voicemail.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
She called me back yeah, and just as simple as that
.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
Yeah and changed her whole day, for the day lasted a
hot maybe five minutes.
Yeah, maybe yes.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
So yeah, it's like you said, it takes a little time
it does, and and the impact,though, on yours might have been
not such a big deal yeah, onhers, though, yeah, it's
probably life-changing yeah, Ipromise you, I was like I'm not
really speechless that often,but when she said that I was
like oh yeah, you know what tosay, but you're right.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Well, is there anything else um that you have
for us, any more encouragementthat you want to leave um the
guests with listeners?
Speaker 3 (31:59):
with us have a guest the listeners well, just that,
if you fall into any of thecategories you know that I
mentioned today, know thatyou're not alone, yeah, um, know
that there's somewhere orsomeone.
All you've got to do is look up, look up.
You know, when we're in thoseplaces, we have a tendency of
looking at the ground, yeah, andsometimes we miss the people
(32:22):
that God puts in front of us.
We just need to look up, if notseek out.
I don't like a body of Christ,you know.
It doesn't matter which one.
We're all connected through thelove of God, and so ask
questions.
You know, if you're hearingthis for a reason, then you know
(32:44):
, make contact if you can.
In some way we've got resources.
You know, we'll pray with you,we'll pray for you.
I try to keep that constantlyin my prayers.
Anything I've been through, youknow, we'll pray with you,
we'll pray for you.
I try to keep that constantlyin my prayers.
Anything I've been through, youknow, any kind of abuse, any
kind of addiction, and because Iremember those moments were my
darkest moments and so I callout to them just to give it a
(33:07):
chance.
You know God will introduce youto somebody that will show you
something different.
He works through us, yeah, andso find a way, make a decision.
That was my first thing.
Make a decision that you wantsomething different and ask god,
you know hey you want to comeparty with me?
Speaker 2 (33:28):
you know, hey, I like to go back you.
You wanna come party with me?
Speaker 3 (33:32):
I'll tell you what because he, he will definitely
take you on a mind-blowingexperience hey, that is the
truth.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
You know what?
Speaker 3 (33:38):
I've never heard that like that but you're 100
correct yeah, I mean thelifestyles I lived.
It was I got myself involved inso many things to want to
change the way I felt.
Try God the best one and hewill definitely change how you
feel and he can bring you out.
It might take some time, but itis completely worth it wow.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Well, thank you again for coming on and sharing your
journey for those that arelistening.
I just wanted to end withyou're loved, you're seen.
You end with you're loved,you're seen, you're enough,
you're wanted, you're valued.
And, like she mentioned, youknow, if you really reach out,
you can message me, dm me andwe'll get you where you need to
(34:27):
be.
If you need prayer, you canalways reach out to me.
I can either pray with you overthe phone or in person.
If you're somewhere close, orjust want to just send a request
in, that's fine too.
I can pray for you.
Just say thank you.
Thank you, lord, for allowingus to see this day and thank you
, lord, for allowing theselisteners to listen.
(34:47):
And with that note, I say bye.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Thank you for listening to another episode of
standing in and with that note,I say bye, bye.
Thank you for listening toanother episode of Standing in
your Truth with Yanni.
And if no one told you today,you are loved, you are beautiful
, you are needed and you matter,be sure to follow on Facebook
at Standing in your TruthPodcast with Yanni.
Also on Instagram Talks withYanni.
(35:12):
Also on Instagram Talks withYanni.
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