September 4, 2025 • 48 mins
Anger is a blazing fire—blinding, burning, all-consuming. Within its flames is a chance to wake up with mindfulness and compassion and see ourselves more clearly.
Picture a moment of calm—fresh off a morning meditation—shattered when another driver cuts you off with your kids in the backseat. One heartbeat you're serene; the next, you're slamming the brakes and seeing red. Or imagine working 60-hour weeks delivering food, only to get a $1 tip that stings with injustice. In these everyday moments, anger ignites before we even realize it, testing the limits of our patience and presence.
In this episode, we explore anger from all sides: how it arises and blinds us, how it can be an organic part of life, and how it can become a profound teacher. Core themes of anger, mindfulness, compassion, and trust weave through personal stories and reflections. What do we do with our rage at unfair bosses, reckless drivers, or even our own family? Can we hold that fiery frustration with awareness and transform it into something else?
Ancient wisdom across traditions lights the way. Kabir, a 15th-century mystic, warns that anger is “the fire that burns the house you live in while you wave your fists at the neighbor.” The Buddha likens holding onto anger to grasping a hot coal — you're the one who gets burned. And Thich Nhat Hanh gently reminds us that as soon as we truly understand our anger, "the anger will transform itself into compassion." These insights, along with teachings from Rumi, Jesus, and Zen masters, are woven throughout the conversation.
Raw and real personal stories bring these teachings to life. A harrowing road rage incident becomes a wake-up call, and a shattered video game controller still hangs on the wall as a reminder of rage left unchecked. We hear how burnout and injustice pushed one man to a violent breaking point, and how even then, empathy and forgiveness begin to surface. Conflict — on the road, at home, in society — gradually gives way to understanding. Again and again, anger is met with a choice: feed the flames or cool them with compassion.
This journey moves from the heat of anger to the cool waters of mindfulness and mercy. By the end, what starts as stories of frustration and fury evolves into reflections on forgiveness, presence, and even gratitude for the hardest lessons. The episode closes with a gentle blessing of release: may we all be free from anger, and may all beings live with ease.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jacob (00:00):
So, Hello and welcome back to Standing Nowhere.
This is the 11th episode.
(00:22):
I'm your host, Jacob, and it'sa pleasure to be back with
everybody.
Anger, everyone's favoritesubject.
Doesn't anger feel wonderfulwhen you feel angry?
It's a great feeling.
That's why the dark side alwayswins in Star Wars, right?
Because they harness theiranger.
It's a wonderful thing tocultivate.
(00:43):
And of course, I'm being verysarcastic right now, but I
experience a little bit of angerthis last week.
And we all experience anger ona pretty regular basis.
It's a part of life.
I remember once aftermeditating in the morning, this
(01:05):
is a couple of years ago when Ihad just started getting into
meditation and trying to calmdown.
I was taking the kids to schooland we were on the freeway and
I was feeling great, realcentered.
And out of nowhere, this guycuts me off.
(01:26):
and in a moment my hand went upinto the air you know straight
into the bird flipping them offthrough my windshield and this
guy with my kids in the car mindyou on the freeway this guy
(01:49):
slams on his brakes and i'm notexaggerating when i say that i
mean like both feet on the brakepedal full you know hard as
possible uh the tires locked upi slam on My brakes, the analog
(02:10):
brakes kick on.
It was terrifying.
And then I got even more angry,so I flipped him off again, and
he slammed on his brakes again.
45 minutes ago, I'm on ameditation cushion, and I feel
like I'm floating, and I'mfeeling centered.
(02:31):
And here I am flipping offanother human being for cutting
me off.
I mean, sure, he shouldn't havecut me off.
That was wrong.
But he drew me straight intounconsciousness like a light
switch.
Boom.
And here I am almostrear-ending somebody getting
into an accident on the freeway.
(02:53):
Luckily, it was an exit ramp.
But my mind, that feeling ofanger, I don't need to describe
it to you guys.
You know what it's like.
And both my kids are in thecar.
I mean...
I caught myself moments later,but by then it was too late.
(03:17):
The damage had been done.
I flipped out in front of mykids at somebody else.
Not a great parenting moment,but I'm laying it bare out there
for you guys, and I'm sure youhave your moments as well,
unless you're perfect.
Thank you for watching.
(03:50):
I remember the worst was about10, maybe 12 years ago.
I was playing Call of Duty orsomething like that on
(04:12):
PlayStation.
And I got so angry, so consumedin rage that I went into my
bathroom and I closed the door,and I had the controller in my
hand, and I jumped into the air,and on the way down, as gravity
(04:36):
pulled me back to the earth, Ithrew the controller on the
ground as hard as I possiblycould.
And it exploded, justdisappeared.
I mean, there was pieces of iteverywhere.
One of the pieces, sadly, flewup into the air and hit a
(05:00):
painting that my brother-in-law,my wife's brother, drew for us.
And luckily, it did not damagethe painting, but it did damage
the frame that it's in.
And we've actually kept it inthat frame.
And I use that as a reminderstill to this day.
It's been well over a decadenow that this happened.
But that's just to give you alittle idea of where my head
(05:24):
used to be at.
And I wasn't like that all thetime even then.
I'm putting out my greatest, myanger's greatest hits for you
guys.
Anger grabs us and we go blind.
It's like we're not even there.
What do we say when we getangry?
(05:47):
I was blind with rage, blindrage.
I blacked out with rage.
What is that referring to?
That awareness, thatmindfulness, gone.
Gone.
Until we start practicing andcultivating mindfulness, little
(06:08):
tiny things can knock it out ofsight.
Or we can forget about it.
It's our true nature.
What really spurred mymotivation to record this
episode was driving DoorDashonline.
(06:28):
This last week, and I've hadplenty of angry moments driving
DoorDash, but this last week inparticular, I worked about 60
hours last week, just a hairunder 60 hours.
You know, I'm trying to makerent at the end of the month.
I only had two, three days offlast month, and I'm driving this
(06:53):
lady's delivery to her house,and it's an abysmal amount.
$1 tip.
And I'm bringing the order upto her house, and she lives in a
really nice neighborhood.
Half these houses have Amazonpackages strewn about at the
front door with no sense ofurgency to open them.
So they're not hurtingfinancially.
(07:18):
And in my mind, I'm thinking,how do you tip a human being
less than $5 on DoorDash oranything in this economy?
Tip me zero.
Don't tip me $1.
All these thoughts are racingthrough my head.
And, oh, I could just feel itinside of me.
(07:39):
And at this time, I'mwondering, like, what is this
next episode going to be about?
You know, I'm working a 60-hourwork week, so I have to plan
these episodes on the road, onthe go, while I'm juggling three
apps, a stick shift, driving.
When you're on the road, Imean, your nervous system is
(08:02):
tapped.
You're trying to drive safely,not cause an accident.
So I'm trying to plan this outwhile trying to make rent, and
this lady is tipping me adollar.
And I'm between a rock and ahard place because DoorDash does
not allow me to decline theorder.
So there's a lot of rage thatpeople are experiencing, not
(08:22):
just in DoorDash, but abroad inthis country right now.
I mean, look at the job market.
It's terrible.
And knowing these things...
creates a lot of rage in us.
And it's hard to look away fromit because it's our daily life.
I think about the time that Ihave to spend driving on the
(08:46):
road, and I won't get into thatright now, but these things get
extreme for some people andcause people to do extreme
things.
Think about Luigi Mangionerecently, the man who had a lot
of spinal pain.
I don't know his exactsituation, but he was in a lot
of pain, and he was mad at thesecorporations who are...
(09:12):
taking advantage of people allin the name of profit.
We allow profit to come beforethe needs of the many.
If you're a human being, youneed healthcare.
(09:35):
It's not an option.
It's a necessity of life.
And the vast majority ofAmericans, the vast majority
view healthcare as a humanright, not a commodity, a human
right.
But do we see that representedin our country at this time?
No, we do not.
(09:55):
Supposedly, we're in ademocracy, and yet we're not in
a democracy.
The vast majority of the peopledo not want a for-profit
healthcare system, industrialcomplex, and we have it.
And this man, Luigi, he blewhis top.
He became so angry that hetracked down in a very calm and
(10:21):
collected manner, thehealthcare, was it United
Healthcare CEO?
I can't remember the guy'sname.
He waited for him to exit thebuilding where they were having
a meeting and he executed him.
He shot him in I think in theback several times and he almost
got away with it until aMcDonald's manager turned him
in.
(10:41):
And what did we see online?
Overwhelming support for Luigi.
They raised millions of dollarsfor him to have a lawyer to
support him in the case.
And I'm not condoning murder orkilling.
I am highlighting how there isa deep sense of rage in this
(11:02):
country right now.
because of the way things arebeing handled.
And not just with healthcare,but our environment.
A lot of people are concernedright now, and that creates
anger inside of us.
It's a part of, anger is a partof life.
(11:27):
What is anger?
Kabir, the mystic, writes, whatis anger?
It is the fire that burns thehouse you live in while you wave
your fists at the neighbor.
That's one way to look at it.
(11:47):
And Rumi similarly writes,anger is a fire full of smoke.
When it prevails, it shuts thelamp of the intellect.
And like I said with Luigi, Iam highlighting that anger is a
very real thing and it causes usto react instead of respond.
(12:14):
And And part of the reason Istarted this podcast about
cultivating a spaciousnesswithin ourselves is for this
very reason.
Anger can cause people to dovery severe things.
I mean, I could look at myselfin comparison to Luigi and see
if certain things had gonedifferent ways and I had not
(12:39):
chosen this path of...
going within, whatever you wantto call it, becoming a seeker,
whatever label you want to puton it, cultivating mindfulness,
meditating, et cetera, I couldhave gone the route he went.
This country is a powder keg,and it's about to explode.
(13:03):
And financially, it's about tocollapse.
There's going to be a lot ofanger when this financial bubble
pops, as there was in the lastone.
And when anger consumes us,just like when that guy cut me
off on the road a little over ayear and a half, almost two
years ago...
My intellect was shut down,like Rumi says.
(13:27):
I was burning inside.
I was seeing red.
Kabir also writes that Isearched for the crooked, and I
met not a single one.
And when I searched myself, Ifound the crooked one.
(13:49):
And this...
poem.
is a good thing to rememberwhen I searched for the crooked
met not a single one when Isearched myself I found the
crooked one anger it livesinside of you it's not an
(14:09):
external thing when that man cutme off when that lady only
tipped me a dollar basically notconsidering me as a human being
at all there's no anger in thatall of the anger arose within
myself inside So the reflectionthat we can take out of this is
(14:32):
that the anger that we projectout there, it is actually in
here.
It's inside of you.
And it's important to rememberthis because these moments of
anger are They can be a teacher.
(14:54):
It's a mirror showing youwhat's inside of you.
The guy who cut me off didn'tmake me angry.
I allowed myself to becomeangry from within.
And that is a teaching moment.
And as I mentioned, 45 minutesbefore he cut me off, I was on a
(15:16):
meditation cushion.
I was feeling great, verycentered until I wasn't.
but I didn't judge myself, butI looked within and I said, you
know what?
This is a teaching moment.
I did something by flipping himoff that caused me to almost
get into an accident.
(15:37):
Was that worth it?
And I became very mindful ofhow the feeling of anger felt
inside of me when it happened,the results that happened
afterwards, And I rememberedthat to this day.
I took it as a very profoundteaching moment.
(15:58):
I think the Buddhists call itwise view.
When you're looking atsomething from a view of wisdom.
What can I get out of this?
What can I learn out of this?
And now I think from that dayforward, I have not had a single
(16:20):
incident where I did anythingin return to someone.
like flipping them off oranything.
It's almost as if I'll feel thethought kind of bubble for a
quick second, but it's instantlycaught in mindfulness.
Nope, I'm not going there.
If he wants to cut me off, goahead.
(16:42):
Please do.
And I'm not saying roll overand take it, but...
You know what I mean.
You can be a cooling presencewhen these things happen.
You don't need to add fuel tothe fire.
(17:03):
And I think it's helpful tolook at anger on two different
levels.
And they seem paradoxical, butwe have to hold them together at
the same time.
There's the relative level, therelative truth of anger, and
there's the ultimate level.
And on the ultimate level,Anger is part of this whole
(17:32):
thing that we call life, thiswhole dance.
It belongs.
And it causes terrible thingsto happen.
And on a relative level, itdoesn't make sense.
But we have to trust that it ispart of one complete whole that
we may not be able tounderstand from our limited
relative perspective.
(17:53):
Because on a I mean, to put itsimply...
Anger is wanting what we don'thave or wanting what we don't
get, expecting a result and itnot happening.
(18:14):
Like when I'm playing Overwatchor when you see professional
sports take place, you'll seethat.
People expect the result to winbecause that's the only way to
give it your all in a sport,really.
But a poor sport, we know whatthey do.
We all remember Mike Tyson,fantastic fighter, but what
(18:38):
happened when he was losing toEvander Holyfield?
He bit his ear off.
And that was a great teachingmoment for him.
He's a very different personnow.
Anger is also caused by notwanting what we do get.
I could easily look at mysituation in life, at the
(18:58):
injustice of gig workerexploitation, the lack of time
with my family, or being able tobe creative in podcasting or
whatever.
And there's genuine reason tobe angry.
I would love to devote moretime to this podcast, this
creative project.
I am loving it right now.
(19:20):
Absolutely loving it.
It's very challenging.
There's plenty of times where Ilisten to episodes and I am so
disappointed with the way itcame out.
I'm my own worst critic.
We all are.
And I get angry sometimes.
I feel anger stirring within mebecause I wish I had more time.
And then that time I have tosplit and make sure I balance it
(19:45):
with my family, creatingpodcast episodes, planning them.
The biggest thing that made meangry over the last few years is
just the lack of time with myfamily.
That drives me crazy.
When I see DoorDash, theirprofits went up, I think, 25% to
(20:05):
30% when they started thisacceptance rate scam, forcing
drivers to take terrible orders,almost in proportion with
exactly how much I lost in myearnings.
I lost about 25% to 30%.
of my annual earnings one yearto the next while increasing my
(20:25):
workload on top of it, my workhours.
That made me angry.
So on a relative level, angeris very real.
It is tangible, and you mighteven say it's justified.
It's a natural response.
I mean, zoom out and look at itfrom a global context.
(20:49):
Right now, the world spends$2.7 trillion on the military
and war and weapons.
$2.7 trillion.
That's what, $2,700 billion?
(21:10):
In contrast, to end all hungeron the planet, would be $37
billion, a fraction of the $2.7trillion that we spend on war.
I don't know about youlistening, but I don't want my
(21:31):
tax dollars going to war.
I have no problem personallywith China.
I have no problem withPalestine.
I have great empathy andcompassion for Palestine.
What's happening over there isterrible.
And knowing that my tax dollarsare contributing to that, I
don't feel right Do you?
$2.7 trillion annually.
(21:59):
And the United States, thecountry that I live in,
represents just over 4% of theworld population.
And we contribute about half ofthat $2.7 trillion to military
spending when you factor in allof it after fees and things like
that.
It's about $1.3 to $1.4trillion just from the United
(22:24):
States alone.
$37 billion to end hunger on anannual basis for the entire
planet.
And right now people arestarving to death.
So you see why people likeLuigi...
do what they do.
You can empathize with themeven though you don't condone
(22:47):
murder.
I don't condone murder.
Were I in his shoes?
I can't say what his situationand his circumstances are.
It's always easy to judgepeople from the comfort of our
armchairs at home.
But what happened, happened.
There's an exchange between theBuddha and one of the devotees
(23:13):
following him around.
I forget the girl's name.
But it says, as she wasstanding to one side, she
recited this verse to theBlessed One.
Having killed what do you sleepin ease?
Having killed what do you notgrieve?
Of the slaying of what, onething, does Gautama approve?
(23:39):
And the Blessed One replied,Having killed anger, you sleep
in ease.
Having killed anger, you do notgrieve.
The noble ones praise theslaying of anger with its
honeyed crests and poison root.
(24:00):
For having killed it, you donot grieve.
Holding on to anger is likegrasping a hot coal with the
intent of throwing it atanother.
You are the one who getsburned.
(24:21):
That's another saying.
in that same context.
Anger is a fire.
It's always referred to as ablaze.
I'm seeing red.
It is a fierce energy, veryfierce.
(24:41):
And yet, although relatively weunderstand how anger arises and
the things that it does, it'sCan we also hold in mind the
paradox that ultimately, on anultimate level, it all belongs?
(25:03):
It's all part of one whole thatwe cannot always understand on
a relative level.
The Third Patriarch of Zenwrites, The Great Way is not
difficult for those who have nopreferences.
When love and hate are bothabsent, everything becomes clear
(25:27):
and undisguised.
Make the smallest distinctionhowever and heaven and earth are
set infinitely apart.
If you wish to see the truththen hold no opinions for or
against anything.
To set up what you like againstwhat you dislike is the disease
(25:52):
of the mind.
Whoa.
Now, I know what some of youare thinking.
Okay, you want me to go throughlife like a blind robot, not
caring what happens to me?
And that is not what this manis saying when he wrote this.
(26:12):
See, he's speaking on anultimate level.
To put it in terms of my owncircumstances, Right now, on a
relative level, I would prefernot to work 60 hours a week.
(26:35):
I would prefer to be able tospend more time with my family,
more time doing creativeprojects like this.
That's my preference.
What he's saying when he saysthe great way is not difficult
for those who have nopreferences, he's highlighting
that although I do work a lot,To use my own situation as an
(27:00):
example, I accept it that it isthe current reality of my life.
And I can still feel thedesire, the great desire in me
to get out of this situation,which I am working towards,
applying for jobs, going backinto the job market as gig work
(27:23):
is dead.
It has gone down and down anddown in pay.
And it is clear that I shouldnot have stayed in it as long as
I have.
That was a mistake.
In hindsight, everything isclear, of course.
And it's time to go.
But right now, I prefer thepresent for what it is because I
(27:44):
learn from it.
Out of all of this pain thatI've experienced, I have learned
more than I ever have in mylife.
And I am, in fact, incrediblygrateful for all the hardships
that I've been forced to endureand continue to endure because
they've shown me a lot ofthings.
(28:05):
The great way is not difficultfor those who have no
preferences.
If you wish to see the truth,then hold no opinions for or
against anything.
Anger eclipses our awareness.
(28:27):
When we are consumed with rage,our mindfulness, our awareness
is gone.
And as I have been trying tomake very clear to everyone on
this podcast, and as many of youI'm sure already know, there is
nothing more beautiful thanyour awareness.
(28:49):
To be mindful of what is.
Osho in his BeyondEnlightenment discourse says,
risk everything for awareness,but never risk awareness for
(29:10):
anything.
This is the commitment of asannyasin, that he is ready to
lose his life, but not hisawareness.
It's important to remember thisbecause awareness is our
(29:30):
superpower.
It's everything.
When awareness is gone, we aremechanical.
We're like robots.
We can only react.
We cannot respond.
Thich Nhat Hanh, the Zen monkthat I've quoted many times on
past episodes, he speaks tothis.
(29:53):
He says, If you keep breathingable to see its nature.
(30:27):
At that moment, you will smilebecause you understand.
As soon as you haveunderstanding, compassion will
arise and the anger willtransform itself into
compassion.
It's not easy.
(30:50):
There's a lot of crap that isgoing on in the world, in our
own personal lives, on arelative level, on a global
level.
To try to remember that thisall belongs on an ultimate level
is difficult.
It's all perfect and it's verypainful.
Both levels are true.
(31:10):
The relative demandscompassion.
The ultimate calls for trust.
Together they form the yin andyang.
If you guys have ever seen theyin yang symbol, that is what it
is all about.
Light creates dark, darkcreates light.
The two are one.
(31:32):
The mountain has the sunny sideand the shady side.
And when you...
Listen to people who havewalked this earth, who look
beyond the illusion of duality,and they see it for the whole
that it is.
You can watch the way theyspeak.
(31:56):
For example, Jesus in theGospel of Matthew says, "...in
everything, do to others as youwould have them do to you.
For this is the law and theprophets." Everyone's familiar
with that, the golden rule.
Even if you have never pickedup a Bible and have no interest,
(32:19):
you've heard of the goldenrule.
Do unto others as you wouldhave them do to you.
It's not easy.
In the same gospel, he says,you have heard that it was said,
you shall love your neighborand hate your enemy, but I say
(32:39):
to you, love your enemies andpray for those who persecute
you.
Sometimes when people hearthat, they say, how am I
supposed to love my enemies?
The guy that cut you off, thefamily member that scarred you
so badly that you can't eventell anyone about it because of
(33:01):
the way it may make them viewyou.
The friend who betrayed you,you want me to love that person
and pray for them?
Are you out of your mind?
But I thought of an exampleback in the 1950s during the
(33:23):
Civil Rights Movement.
Dr.
Martin Luther King Jr., in oneof his speeches, he said that We
will match your capacity toinflict suffering by our
capacity to endure suffering.
We will meet your physicalforce with soul force.
(33:45):
Do to us what you will, and wewill still love you.
We cannot in all good consciousobey your unjust laws because
non-cooperation with evil is asmuch a moral obligation as is
cooperation with good.
Throw us in jail and we willstill love you.
(34:09):
Send your hooded perpetratorsof violence into our communities
at midnight hours.
Beat us and leave us half deadand we will still love you.
But be assured that we willwear you down by our capacity to
(34:29):
suffer.
And one day, we will winfreedom.
But not only for ourselves.
We will so appeal to your heartand conscience that we will win
you in the process.
So our victory will be a doublevictory.
It's not easy to love others.
(34:56):
But here's a man who wentthrough something, I think I
speak for all of us when I say,was way worse than anything
we've experienced.
I'll see if I can put a link inthe description to a video
showing you some of theatrocities that the black
community went through duringthe civil rights movement.
(35:18):
It's horrifying.
They weren't even viewed ashuman.
And my mother, she was aliveduring this time.
So it's not like this isancient history.
She has memories of thesethings.
This is very recent.
The Buddha says, hatred isnever appeased by hatred in this
(35:41):
world.
By non-hatred alone is hatredappeased.
This is an eternal law.
There's no way around it.
The anger that you have forothers is actually inside of
you.
Compassion and love is the onlyanswer You can't lose faith in
(36:11):
humanity because you arehumanity.
If you don't trust humanity,then you don't trust yourself,
which means you can't trust yourdistrust of humanity.
You see, it's a double bind.
You have no choice but to trustit.
Trust this whole.
And these high beings ofwisdom, they all say the same
(36:36):
thing, that you can trust it, Itdoesn't matter if it's Jesus in
35 CE or the third patriarch ofZen centuries later or Martin
Luther King just recently.
You can trust love.
You can trust this whole.
(36:56):
And yes, it will get bumpysometimes, but you can trust it.
I get fired up about politics.
Fired up.
But I always make sure that Iremember if I enter into a
political discussion withsomeone that it is out of a
genuine good faith desire tolearn from the other person and
(37:20):
hopefully perhaps they learnsomething from me.
And And if they ever came uporganically, I could participate
in them in a compassionate waywith a mutual interest of
benefiting everyone, ofgenuinely listening to the other
person's side and not justwaiting for them to finish what
they were going to say so that Ican say something.
(37:40):
There's a funny quote from theBuddha about this where he says,
those who cling to perceptionsand views wander the world
offending people.
So I learned my lesson.
If we're going to talk aboutpolitics, do it in a loving way.
It's very divisive.
People are very polarized inthe country right now.
(38:02):
That's not by accident becauseit shuts the conversation down.
It flares up anger in people.
We've all seen the angry, angrystickers all over people's cars
on both sides.
How many peace rallies do yousee where it doesn't look very
peaceful?
People are angry.
(38:24):
What message is going to getthrough?
Is it going to change anything?
In one of the Metta Sutas, itsays, Even as a mother protects
with her life her child, heronly child, so with a boundless
heart should one cherish allliving beings.
(38:44):
So there is no choice but totrust this whole.
In his letter to thePhilippians, Paul wrote that the
peace of God, which surpassesall intellect or mind, will
guard your hearts and your mindsin Christ, which is your
(39:07):
nature.
You might say your Buddhanature.
Some call it Christ nature.
It's in all of us.
That word he writes in Greek isnous, which means mind,
intellect, limitedunderstanding, comprehension.
In other words, we have totrust the whole, but we're not
(39:30):
always going to be able tounderstand it on an intellectual
relative level.
But you can trust it.
You came out of it.
You are it.
You are not separate from it.
You are it.
What is on the inside isreflected on the outside.
And a parable that I love,which I think I've mentioned in
a past episode, is the farmerand the neighbor.
(39:53):
He wakes up and sees that hishorse has ran away.
And the neighbor says, that'stoo bad.
And the farmer says, you neverknow.
And of course, like clockwork,later that day, the horse
returns with two extra horses.
The neighbor says, that'sgreat.
(40:14):
And the farmer says...
You never know.
The son is training one of thewild horses and he is thrown off
and breaks his leg.
The neighbor says, that'sterrible.
And the farmer says, you neverknow.
(40:38):
Later that day, the army iscoming through conscripting
young soldiers, but they have toskip over his son because he
has a broken leg.
The neighbor says, wonderful.
The farmer says, you neverknow.
(40:59):
Who are we with our limitedsmall perspective to label this
is good, this is bad?
We don't know.
How easy would it be for me tolook at my life situation and
say, FML, you know, fuck mylife.
But what came out of this?
(41:21):
A complete inner transformationthat like I've never known
before.
Have you ever known anyone thathad to work 60 hours a week
that started a podcast becausehe was so filled with joy and
wanted to share with people away that he has dealt with it
(41:43):
and how he's responded to it?
And who knows where this isgoing to lead?
I'm much more clear-headed andfocused now, much more able to
get a job.
And who knows, maybe, Godwilling, this podcast will take
off someday and this will bewhat I I do full time.
That would be amazing.
(42:03):
What a dream.
You never know.
Rumi says, don't get stuck inone season.
Winter will pass.
Spring will come.
And then summer and autumn.
Each gives its gift.
(42:25):
If you get fixed in winter, youblock the coming of spring.
I've heard it said that angeris just best to drop it.
Just drop it.
I think Rumi said, be like atree and let the dead leaves
(42:45):
drop.
I've had plenty of moments,even in my own family life,
where it just doesn't makesense.
With my kids, the choices theymake, they don't make sense to
me.
But do I let those situationsarise in me in anger?
(43:12):
Or do I respond with gentlenessand humbleness and a not
knowingness?
You never know.
Yeah.
Rumi also says, raise not yourvoice in wrath.
Speak with gentleness for sweetwater quenches fire, not
burning flame.
(43:32):
When you go out into the world,are you going to add fuel to
the fires out there?
Or are you going to take therole of the fire department and
try to put out fires with asoothing, sweet water?
(43:55):
Anger belongs in this world.
It's a part of it.
It is natural.
It is organic.
And it may burn.
But within the larger dance oflife, even fire can point us
(44:19):
back towards wisdom.
We can let it be not an enemy,but a guide.
I'm going to close out here ina moment, and I just want to
express my gratitude to all ofyou, few as you are now, for
(44:40):
listening to these episodes andbeing out there.
And if you'd like to share ananger story with me, what it did
to you, what it taught you, Iwould love that, and I can read
it out on a future episode.
There's links in thedescription for that.
To close out, I want to readone last thing from the Buddha.
(45:03):
And in Buddhism, they have thispersonification embodiment of
temptations and clingings andattachments, addictions, in the
form of a person called Mara.
It can take the form of anger,lust, you name it.
And the Buddha says in thisSutta excerpt, he says...
(45:26):
This snare of Mara in the formof anger, dwelling in the cave
of the heart, cut it out withself-control, discernment,
persistence, right view.
Free from anger and untroubled,free from greed without
(45:54):
longing, tamed, your anger Freefrom fermentation, you will be
unbound.
May I be free from anger.
May you be free from anger.
May all beings live with ease.
Music (46:18):
This voice might feel like dust on the dial.
But I'm standing nowhere andI've been for a while No heroes,
no headlines, no promises madeJust a whisper that won't be
(46:46):
afraid Standing nowhere and itfeels like Flats to weigh, no
need to roam The silence speakslouder than war ever could And
(47:13):
I've never felt so understoodThe static is calm, it leaves me
to follow no king on the thronethe sky's turning amber the
(47:42):
clock's all reset and I haven'tstopped walking just yet
standing nowhere where Nochains, no name, no destiny The
(48:10):
road dissolves, the sky turnswhite
So, Hello and welcome back to Standing Nowhere.
This is the 11th episode.
(00:22):
I'm your host, Jacob, and it'sa pleasure to be back with
everybody.
Anger, everyone's favoritesubject.
Doesn't anger feel wonderfulwhen you feel angry?
It's a great feeling.
That's why the dark side alwayswins in Star Wars, right?
Because they harness theiranger.
It's a wonderful thing tocultivate.
(00:43):
And of course, I'm being verysarcastic right now, but I
experience a little bit of angerthis last week.
And we all experience anger ona pretty regular basis.
It's a part of life.
I remember once aftermeditating in the morning, this
(01:05):
is a couple of years ago when Ihad just started getting into
meditation and trying to calmdown.
I was taking the kids to schooland we were on the freeway and
I was feeling great, realcentered.
And out of nowhere, this guycuts me off.
(01:26):
and in a moment my hand went upinto the air you know straight
into the bird flipping them offthrough my windshield and this
guy with my kids in the car mindyou on the freeway this guy
(01:49):
slams on his brakes and i'm notexaggerating when i say that i
mean like both feet on the brakepedal full you know hard as
possible uh the tires locked upi slam on My brakes, the analog
(02:10):
brakes kick on.
It was terrifying.
And then I got even more angry,so I flipped him off again, and
he slammed on his brakes again.
45 minutes ago, I'm on ameditation cushion, and I feel
like I'm floating, and I'mfeeling centered.
(02:31):
And here I am flipping offanother human being for cutting
me off.
I mean, sure, he shouldn't havecut me off.
That was wrong.
But he drew me straight intounconsciousness like a light
switch.
Boom.
And here I am almostrear-ending somebody getting
into an accident on the freeway.
(02:53):
Luckily, it was an exit ramp.
But my mind, that feeling ofanger, I don't need to describe
it to you guys.
You know what it's like.
And both my kids are in thecar.
I mean...
I caught myself moments later,but by then it was too late.
(03:17):
The damage had been done.
I flipped out in front of mykids at somebody else.
Not a great parenting moment,but I'm laying it bare out there
for you guys, and I'm sure youhave your moments as well,
unless you're perfect.
Thank you for watching.
(03:50):
I remember the worst was about10, maybe 12 years ago.
I was playing Call of Duty orsomething like that on
(04:12):
PlayStation.
And I got so angry, so consumedin rage that I went into my
bathroom and I closed the door,and I had the controller in my
hand, and I jumped into the air,and on the way down, as gravity
(04:36):
pulled me back to the earth, Ithrew the controller on the
ground as hard as I possiblycould.
And it exploded, justdisappeared.
I mean, there was pieces of iteverywhere.
One of the pieces, sadly, flewup into the air and hit a
(05:00):
painting that my brother-in-law,my wife's brother, drew for us.
And luckily, it did not damagethe painting, but it did damage
the frame that it's in.
And we've actually kept it inthat frame.
And I use that as a reminderstill to this day.
It's been well over a decadenow that this happened.
But that's just to give you alittle idea of where my head
(05:24):
used to be at.
And I wasn't like that all thetime even then.
I'm putting out my greatest, myanger's greatest hits for you
guys.
Anger grabs us and we go blind.
It's like we're not even there.
What do we say when we getangry?
(05:47):
I was blind with rage, blindrage.
I blacked out with rage.
What is that referring to?
That awareness, thatmindfulness, gone.
Gone.
Until we start practicing andcultivating mindfulness, little
(06:08):
tiny things can knock it out ofsight.
Or we can forget about it.
It's our true nature.
What really spurred mymotivation to record this
episode was driving DoorDashonline.
(06:28):
This last week, and I've hadplenty of angry moments driving
DoorDash, but this last week inparticular, I worked about 60
hours last week, just a hairunder 60 hours.
You know, I'm trying to makerent at the end of the month.
I only had two, three days offlast month, and I'm driving this
(06:53):
lady's delivery to her house,and it's an abysmal amount.
$1 tip.
And I'm bringing the order upto her house, and she lives in a
really nice neighborhood.
Half these houses have Amazonpackages strewn about at the
front door with no sense ofurgency to open them.
So they're not hurtingfinancially.
(07:18):
And in my mind, I'm thinking,how do you tip a human being
less than $5 on DoorDash oranything in this economy?
Tip me zero.
Don't tip me $1.
All these thoughts are racingthrough my head.
And, oh, I could just feel itinside of me.
(07:39):
And at this time, I'mwondering, like, what is this
next episode going to be about?
You know, I'm working a 60-hourwork week, so I have to plan
these episodes on the road, onthe go, while I'm juggling three
apps, a stick shift, driving.
When you're on the road, Imean, your nervous system is
(08:02):
tapped.
You're trying to drive safely,not cause an accident.
So I'm trying to plan this outwhile trying to make rent, and
this lady is tipping me adollar.
And I'm between a rock and ahard place because DoorDash does
not allow me to decline theorder.
So there's a lot of rage thatpeople are experiencing, not
(08:22):
just in DoorDash, but abroad inthis country right now.
I mean, look at the job market.
It's terrible.
And knowing these things...
creates a lot of rage in us.
And it's hard to look away fromit because it's our daily life.
I think about the time that Ihave to spend driving on the
(08:46):
road, and I won't get into thatright now, but these things get
extreme for some people andcause people to do extreme
things.
Think about Luigi Mangionerecently, the man who had a lot
of spinal pain.
I don't know his exactsituation, but he was in a lot
of pain, and he was mad at thesecorporations who are...
(09:12):
taking advantage of people allin the name of profit.
We allow profit to come beforethe needs of the many.
If you're a human being, youneed healthcare.
(09:35):
It's not an option.
It's a necessity of life.
And the vast majority ofAmericans, the vast majority
view healthcare as a humanright, not a commodity, a human
right.
But do we see that representedin our country at this time?
No, we do not.
(09:55):
Supposedly, we're in ademocracy, and yet we're not in
a democracy.
The vast majority of the peopledo not want a for-profit
healthcare system, industrialcomplex, and we have it.
And this man, Luigi, he blewhis top.
He became so angry that hetracked down in a very calm and
(10:21):
collected manner, thehealthcare, was it United
Healthcare CEO?
I can't remember the guy'sname.
He waited for him to exit thebuilding where they were having
a meeting and he executed him.
He shot him in I think in theback several times and he almost
got away with it until aMcDonald's manager turned him
in.
(10:41):
And what did we see online?
Overwhelming support for Luigi.
They raised millions of dollarsfor him to have a lawyer to
support him in the case.
And I'm not condoning murder orkilling.
I am highlighting how there isa deep sense of rage in this
(11:02):
country right now.
because of the way things arebeing handled.
And not just with healthcare,but our environment.
A lot of people are concernedright now, and that creates
anger inside of us.
It's a part of, anger is a partof life.
(11:27):
What is anger?
Kabir, the mystic, writes, whatis anger?
It is the fire that burns thehouse you live in while you wave
your fists at the neighbor.
That's one way to look at it.
(11:47):
And Rumi similarly writes,anger is a fire full of smoke.
When it prevails, it shuts thelamp of the intellect.
And like I said with Luigi, Iam highlighting that anger is a
very real thing and it causes usto react instead of respond.
(12:14):
And And part of the reason Istarted this podcast about
cultivating a spaciousnesswithin ourselves is for this
very reason.
Anger can cause people to dovery severe things.
I mean, I could look at myselfin comparison to Luigi and see
if certain things had gonedifferent ways and I had not
(12:39):
chosen this path of...
going within, whatever you wantto call it, becoming a seeker,
whatever label you want to puton it, cultivating mindfulness,
meditating, et cetera, I couldhave gone the route he went.
This country is a powder keg,and it's about to explode.
(13:03):
And financially, it's about tocollapse.
There's going to be a lot ofanger when this financial bubble
pops, as there was in the lastone.
And when anger consumes us,just like when that guy cut me
off on the road a little over ayear and a half, almost two
years ago...
My intellect was shut down,like Rumi says.
(13:27):
I was burning inside.
I was seeing red.
Kabir also writes that Isearched for the crooked, and I
met not a single one.
And when I searched myself, Ifound the crooked one.
(13:49):
And this...
poem.
is a good thing to rememberwhen I searched for the crooked
met not a single one when Isearched myself I found the
crooked one anger it livesinside of you it's not an
(14:09):
external thing when that man cutme off when that lady only
tipped me a dollar basically notconsidering me as a human being
at all there's no anger in thatall of the anger arose within
myself inside So the reflectionthat we can take out of this is
(14:32):
that the anger that we projectout there, it is actually in
here.
It's inside of you.
And it's important to rememberthis because these moments of
anger are They can be a teacher.
(14:54):
It's a mirror showing youwhat's inside of you.
The guy who cut me off didn'tmake me angry.
I allowed myself to becomeangry from within.
And that is a teaching moment.
And as I mentioned, 45 minutesbefore he cut me off, I was on a
(15:16):
meditation cushion.
I was feeling great, verycentered until I wasn't.
but I didn't judge myself, butI looked within and I said, you
know what?
This is a teaching moment.
I did something by flipping himoff that caused me to almost
get into an accident.
(15:37):
Was that worth it?
And I became very mindful ofhow the feeling of anger felt
inside of me when it happened,the results that happened
afterwards, And I rememberedthat to this day.
I took it as a very profoundteaching moment.
(15:58):
I think the Buddhists call itwise view.
When you're looking atsomething from a view of wisdom.
What can I get out of this?
What can I learn out of this?
And now I think from that dayforward, I have not had a single
(16:20):
incident where I did anythingin return to someone.
like flipping them off oranything.
It's almost as if I'll feel thethought kind of bubble for a
quick second, but it's instantlycaught in mindfulness.
Nope, I'm not going there.
If he wants to cut me off, goahead.
(16:42):
Please do.
And I'm not saying roll overand take it, but...
You know what I mean.
You can be a cooling presencewhen these things happen.
You don't need to add fuel tothe fire.
(17:03):
And I think it's helpful tolook at anger on two different
levels.
And they seem paradoxical, butwe have to hold them together at
the same time.
There's the relative level, therelative truth of anger, and
there's the ultimate level.
And on the ultimate level,Anger is part of this whole
(17:32):
thing that we call life, thiswhole dance.
It belongs.
And it causes terrible thingsto happen.
And on a relative level, itdoesn't make sense.
But we have to trust that it ispart of one complete whole that
we may not be able tounderstand from our limited
relative perspective.
(17:53):
Because on a I mean, to put itsimply...
Anger is wanting what we don'thave or wanting what we don't
get, expecting a result and itnot happening.
(18:14):
Like when I'm playing Overwatchor when you see professional
sports take place, you'll seethat.
People expect the result to winbecause that's the only way to
give it your all in a sport,really.
But a poor sport, we know whatthey do.
We all remember Mike Tyson,fantastic fighter, but what
(18:38):
happened when he was losing toEvander Holyfield?
He bit his ear off.
And that was a great teachingmoment for him.
He's a very different personnow.
Anger is also caused by notwanting what we do get.
I could easily look at mysituation in life, at the
(18:58):
injustice of gig workerexploitation, the lack of time
with my family, or being able tobe creative in podcasting or
whatever.
And there's genuine reason tobe angry.
I would love to devote moretime to this podcast, this
creative project.
I am loving it right now.
(19:20):
Absolutely loving it.
It's very challenging.
There's plenty of times where Ilisten to episodes and I am so
disappointed with the way itcame out.
I'm my own worst critic.
We all are.
And I get angry sometimes.
I feel anger stirring within mebecause I wish I had more time.
And then that time I have tosplit and make sure I balance it
(19:45):
with my family, creatingpodcast episodes, planning them.
The biggest thing that made meangry over the last few years is
just the lack of time with myfamily.
That drives me crazy.
When I see DoorDash, theirprofits went up, I think, 25% to
(20:05):
30% when they started thisacceptance rate scam, forcing
drivers to take terrible orders,almost in proportion with
exactly how much I lost in myearnings.
I lost about 25% to 30%.
of my annual earnings one yearto the next while increasing my
(20:25):
workload on top of it, my workhours.
That made me angry.
So on a relative level, angeris very real.
It is tangible, and you mighteven say it's justified.
It's a natural response.
I mean, zoom out and look at itfrom a global context.
(20:49):
Right now, the world spends$2.7 trillion on the military
and war and weapons.
$2.7 trillion.
That's what, $2,700 billion?
(21:10):
In contrast, to end all hungeron the planet, would be $37
billion, a fraction of the $2.7trillion that we spend on war.
I don't know about youlistening, but I don't want my
(21:31):
tax dollars going to war.
I have no problem personallywith China.
I have no problem withPalestine.
I have great empathy andcompassion for Palestine.
What's happening over there isterrible.
And knowing that my tax dollarsare contributing to that, I
don't feel right Do you?
$2.7 trillion annually.
(21:59):
And the United States, thecountry that I live in,
represents just over 4% of theworld population.
And we contribute about half ofthat $2.7 trillion to military
spending when you factor in allof it after fees and things like
that.
It's about $1.3 to $1.4trillion just from the United
(22:24):
States alone.
$37 billion to end hunger on anannual basis for the entire
planet.
And right now people arestarving to death.
So you see why people likeLuigi...
do what they do.
You can empathize with themeven though you don't condone
(22:47):
murder.
I don't condone murder.
Were I in his shoes?
I can't say what his situationand his circumstances are.
It's always easy to judgepeople from the comfort of our
armchairs at home.
But what happened, happened.
There's an exchange between theBuddha and one of the devotees
(23:13):
following him around.
I forget the girl's name.
But it says, as she wasstanding to one side, she
recited this verse to theBlessed One.
Having killed what do you sleepin ease?
Having killed what do you notgrieve?
Of the slaying of what, onething, does Gautama approve?
(23:39):
And the Blessed One replied,Having killed anger, you sleep
in ease.
Having killed anger, you do notgrieve.
The noble ones praise theslaying of anger with its
honeyed crests and poison root.
(24:00):
For having killed it, you donot grieve.
Holding on to anger is likegrasping a hot coal with the
intent of throwing it atanother.
You are the one who getsburned.
(24:21):
That's another saying.
in that same context.
Anger is a fire.
It's always referred to as ablaze.
I'm seeing red.
It is a fierce energy, veryfierce.
(24:41):
And yet, although relatively weunderstand how anger arises and
the things that it does, it'sCan we also hold in mind the
paradox that ultimately, on anultimate level, it all belongs?
(25:03):
It's all part of one whole thatwe cannot always understand on
a relative level.
The Third Patriarch of Zenwrites, The Great Way is not
difficult for those who have nopreferences.
When love and hate are bothabsent, everything becomes clear
(25:27):
and undisguised.
Make the smallest distinctionhowever and heaven and earth are
set infinitely apart.
If you wish to see the truththen hold no opinions for or
against anything.
To set up what you like againstwhat you dislike is the disease
(25:52):
of the mind.
Whoa.
Now, I know what some of youare thinking.
Okay, you want me to go throughlife like a blind robot, not
caring what happens to me?
And that is not what this manis saying when he wrote this.
(26:12):
See, he's speaking on anultimate level.
To put it in terms of my owncircumstances, Right now, on a
relative level, I would prefernot to work 60 hours a week.
(26:35):
I would prefer to be able tospend more time with my family,
more time doing creativeprojects like this.
That's my preference.
What he's saying when he saysthe great way is not difficult
for those who have nopreferences, he's highlighting
that although I do work a lot,To use my own situation as an
(27:00):
example, I accept it that it isthe current reality of my life.
And I can still feel thedesire, the great desire in me
to get out of this situation,which I am working towards,
applying for jobs, going backinto the job market as gig work
(27:23):
is dead.
It has gone down and down anddown in pay.
And it is clear that I shouldnot have stayed in it as long as
I have.
That was a mistake.
In hindsight, everything isclear, of course.
And it's time to go.
But right now, I prefer thepresent for what it is because I
(27:44):
learn from it.
Out of all of this pain thatI've experienced, I have learned
more than I ever have in mylife.
And I am, in fact, incrediblygrateful for all the hardships
that I've been forced to endureand continue to endure because
they've shown me a lot ofthings.
(28:05):
The great way is not difficultfor those who have no
preferences.
If you wish to see the truth,then hold no opinions for or
against anything.
Anger eclipses our awareness.
(28:27):
When we are consumed with rage,our mindfulness, our awareness
is gone.
And as I have been trying tomake very clear to everyone on
this podcast, and as many of youI'm sure already know, there is
nothing more beautiful thanyour awareness.
(28:49):
To be mindful of what is.
Osho in his BeyondEnlightenment discourse says,
risk everything for awareness,but never risk awareness for
(29:10):
anything.
This is the commitment of asannyasin, that he is ready to
lose his life, but not hisawareness.
It's important to remember thisbecause awareness is our
(29:30):
superpower.
It's everything.
When awareness is gone, we aremechanical.
We're like robots.
We can only react.
We cannot respond.
Thich Nhat Hanh, the Zen monkthat I've quoted many times on
past episodes, he speaks tothis.
(29:53):
He says, If you keep breathingable to see its nature.
(30:27):
At that moment, you will smilebecause you understand.
As soon as you haveunderstanding, compassion will
arise and the anger willtransform itself into
compassion.
It's not easy.
(30:50):
There's a lot of crap that isgoing on in the world, in our
own personal lives, on arelative level, on a global
level.
To try to remember that thisall belongs on an ultimate level
is difficult.
It's all perfect and it's verypainful.
Both levels are true.
(31:10):
The relative demandscompassion.
The ultimate calls for trust.
Together they form the yin andyang.
If you guys have ever seen theyin yang symbol, that is what it
is all about.
Light creates dark, darkcreates light.
The two are one.
(31:32):
The mountain has the sunny sideand the shady side.
And when you...
Listen to people who havewalked this earth, who look
beyond the illusion of duality,and they see it for the whole
that it is.
You can watch the way theyspeak.
(31:56):
For example, Jesus in theGospel of Matthew says, "...in
everything, do to others as youwould have them do to you.
For this is the law and theprophets." Everyone's familiar
with that, the golden rule.
Even if you have never pickedup a Bible and have no interest,
(32:19):
you've heard of the goldenrule.
Do unto others as you wouldhave them do to you.
It's not easy.
In the same gospel, he says,you have heard that it was said,
you shall love your neighborand hate your enemy, but I say
(32:39):
to you, love your enemies andpray for those who persecute
you.
Sometimes when people hearthat, they say, how am I
supposed to love my enemies?
The guy that cut you off, thefamily member that scarred you
so badly that you can't eventell anyone about it because of
(33:01):
the way it may make them viewyou.
The friend who betrayed you,you want me to love that person
and pray for them?
Are you out of your mind?
But I thought of an exampleback in the 1950s during the
(33:23):
Civil Rights Movement.
Dr.
Martin Luther King Jr., in oneof his speeches, he said that We
will match your capacity toinflict suffering by our
capacity to endure suffering.
We will meet your physicalforce with soul force.
(33:45):
Do to us what you will, and wewill still love you.
We cannot in all good consciousobey your unjust laws because
non-cooperation with evil is asmuch a moral obligation as is
cooperation with good.
Throw us in jail and we willstill love you.
(34:09):
Send your hooded perpetratorsof violence into our communities
at midnight hours.
Beat us and leave us half deadand we will still love you.
But be assured that we willwear you down by our capacity to
(34:29):
suffer.
And one day, we will winfreedom.
But not only for ourselves.
We will so appeal to your heartand conscience that we will win
you in the process.
So our victory will be a doublevictory.
It's not easy to love others.
(34:56):
But here's a man who wentthrough something, I think I
speak for all of us when I say,was way worse than anything
we've experienced.
I'll see if I can put a link inthe description to a video
showing you some of theatrocities that the black
community went through duringthe civil rights movement.
(35:18):
It's horrifying.
They weren't even viewed ashuman.
And my mother, she was aliveduring this time.
So it's not like this isancient history.
She has memories of thesethings.
This is very recent.
The Buddha says, hatred isnever appeased by hatred in this
(35:41):
world.
By non-hatred alone is hatredappeased.
This is an eternal law.
There's no way around it.
The anger that you have forothers is actually inside of
you.
Compassion and love is the onlyanswer You can't lose faith in
(36:11):
humanity because you arehumanity.
If you don't trust humanity,then you don't trust yourself,
which means you can't trust yourdistrust of humanity.
You see, it's a double bind.
You have no choice but to trustit.
Trust this whole.
And these high beings ofwisdom, they all say the same
(36:36):
thing, that you can trust it, Itdoesn't matter if it's Jesus in
35 CE or the third patriarch ofZen centuries later or Martin
Luther King just recently.
You can trust love.
You can trust this whole.
(36:56):
And yes, it will get bumpysometimes, but you can trust it.
I get fired up about politics.
Fired up.
But I always make sure that Iremember if I enter into a
political discussion withsomeone that it is out of a
genuine good faith desire tolearn from the other person and
(37:20):
hopefully perhaps they learnsomething from me.
And And if they ever came uporganically, I could participate
in them in a compassionate waywith a mutual interest of
benefiting everyone, ofgenuinely listening to the other
person's side and not justwaiting for them to finish what
they were going to say so that Ican say something.
(37:40):
There's a funny quote from theBuddha about this where he says,
those who cling to perceptionsand views wander the world
offending people.
So I learned my lesson.
If we're going to talk aboutpolitics, do it in a loving way.
It's very divisive.
People are very polarized inthe country right now.
(38:02):
That's not by accident becauseit shuts the conversation down.
It flares up anger in people.
We've all seen the angry, angrystickers all over people's cars
on both sides.
How many peace rallies do yousee where it doesn't look very
peaceful?
People are angry.
(38:24):
What message is going to getthrough?
Is it going to change anything?
In one of the Metta Sutas, itsays, Even as a mother protects
with her life her child, heronly child, so with a boundless
heart should one cherish allliving beings.
(38:44):
So there is no choice but totrust this whole.
In his letter to thePhilippians, Paul wrote that the
peace of God, which surpassesall intellect or mind, will
guard your hearts and your mindsin Christ, which is your
(39:07):
nature.
You might say your Buddhanature.
Some call it Christ nature.
It's in all of us.
That word he writes in Greek isnous, which means mind,
intellect, limitedunderstanding, comprehension.
In other words, we have totrust the whole, but we're not
(39:30):
always going to be able tounderstand it on an intellectual
relative level.
But you can trust it.
You came out of it.
You are it.
You are not separate from it.
You are it.
What is on the inside isreflected on the outside.
And a parable that I love,which I think I've mentioned in
a past episode, is the farmerand the neighbor.
(39:53):
He wakes up and sees that hishorse has ran away.
And the neighbor says, that'stoo bad.
And the farmer says, you neverknow.
And of course, like clockwork,later that day, the horse
returns with two extra horses.
The neighbor says, that'sgreat.
(40:14):
And the farmer says...
You never know.
The son is training one of thewild horses and he is thrown off
and breaks his leg.
The neighbor says, that'sterrible.
And the farmer says, you neverknow.
(40:38):
Later that day, the army iscoming through conscripting
young soldiers, but they have toskip over his son because he
has a broken leg.
The neighbor says, wonderful.
The farmer says, you neverknow.
(40:59):
Who are we with our limitedsmall perspective to label this
is good, this is bad?
We don't know.
How easy would it be for me tolook at my life situation and
say, FML, you know, fuck mylife.
But what came out of this?
(41:21):
A complete inner transformationthat like I've never known
before.
Have you ever known anyone thathad to work 60 hours a week
that started a podcast becausehe was so filled with joy and
wanted to share with people away that he has dealt with it
(41:43):
and how he's responded to it?
And who knows where this isgoing to lead?
I'm much more clear-headed andfocused now, much more able to
get a job.
And who knows, maybe, Godwilling, this podcast will take
off someday and this will bewhat I I do full time.
That would be amazing.
(42:03):
What a dream.
You never know.
Rumi says, don't get stuck inone season.
Winter will pass.
Spring will come.
And then summer and autumn.
Each gives its gift.
(42:25):
If you get fixed in winter, youblock the coming of spring.
I've heard it said that angeris just best to drop it.
Just drop it.
I think Rumi said, be like atree and let the dead leaves
(42:45):
drop.
I've had plenty of moments,even in my own family life,
where it just doesn't makesense.
With my kids, the choices theymake, they don't make sense to
me.
But do I let those situationsarise in me in anger?
(43:12):
Or do I respond with gentlenessand humbleness and a not
knowingness?
You never know.
Yeah.
Rumi also says, raise not yourvoice in wrath.
Speak with gentleness for sweetwater quenches fire, not
burning flame.
(43:32):
When you go out into the world,are you going to add fuel to
the fires out there?
Or are you going to take therole of the fire department and
try to put out fires with asoothing, sweet water?
(43:55):
Anger belongs in this world.
It's a part of it.
It is natural.
It is organic.
And it may burn.
But within the larger dance oflife, even fire can point us
(44:19):
back towards wisdom.
We can let it be not an enemy,but a guide.
I'm going to close out here ina moment, and I just want to
express my gratitude to all ofyou, few as you are now, for
(44:40):
listening to these episodes andbeing out there.
And if you'd like to share ananger story with me, what it did
to you, what it taught you, Iwould love that, and I can read
it out on a future episode.
There's links in thedescription for that.
To close out, I want to readone last thing from the Buddha.
(45:03):
And in Buddhism, they have thispersonification embodiment of
temptations and clingings andattachments, addictions, in the
form of a person called Mara.
It can take the form of anger,lust, you name it.
And the Buddha says in thisSutta excerpt, he says...
(45:26):
This snare of Mara in the formof anger, dwelling in the cave
of the heart, cut it out withself-control, discernment,
persistence, right view.
Free from anger and untroubled,free from greed without
(45:54):
longing, tamed, your anger Freefrom fermentation, you will be
unbound.
May I be free from anger.
May you be free from anger.
May all beings live with ease.
Music (46:18):
This voice might feel like dust on the dial.
But I'm standing nowhere andI've been for a while No heroes,
no headlines, no promises madeJust a whisper that won't be
(46:46):
afraid Standing nowhere and itfeels like Flats to weigh, no
need to roam The silence speakslouder than war ever could And
(47:13):
I've never felt so understoodThe static is calm, it leaves me
to follow no king on the thronethe sky's turning amber the
(47:42):
clock's all reset and I haven'tstopped walking just yet
standing nowhere where Nochains, no name, no destiny The
(48:10):
road dissolves, the sky turnswhite
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