July 24, 2025 • 42 mins
What if your life didn’t need to be fixed—but simply witnessed?
In this episode, Jacob shares a vulnerable story about his car failing at the worst moment, old fears flaring up, and the strange stillness that followed. Through parenting, pressure, and frozen pizza, he explores how peace isn't something we create—it's something we notice when we stop fighting for control.
You’ll hear reflections from Psalm 23, the Tao Te Ching, Star Wars, and a powerful teaching from the Buddha on breaking habits through awareness—not shame. But maybe the most moving moment comes from Mr. Rogers, who reminds us that sometimes the greatest gift we can offer… is silence.
This is a meditation on trusting the moment, letting go of force, and discovering that even when life falls apart, the water can still clear—if we have the patience to wait.
🕊️
“I’m very concerned that our society is much more interested in information than wonder… in noise, rather than silence.”
— Fred Rogers
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jacob (00:00):
All right, we're rolling.
We are on episode five ofStanding Nowhere.
I'm your host, Jacob Buehler.
Welcome back, everyone.
I'm excited because today'sepisode marks the one-month
(00:23):
anniversary that I launched thepodcast and And for me, that's a
lot.
Sorry, I'm a little out ofbreath.
I did a couple of squats beforestarting this episode to get
the blood flowing a little bit.
You sit too long in a chair andyour mind turns into mush.
So one month in, I had a littledelayed period starting this
podcast because I was nervous.
(00:45):
I wasn't quite ready for it.
I was just starting my journeyof self-reflection,
introspective, looking in, whatis the self?
What is this This life anduniverse all about.
Y'all know my story from thefirst episode.
Y'all.
I use that word.
Y'all.
And today I wanted to talkabout chaos, cultivating peace
(01:08):
amidst the chaos, and how beingnot forcing results in changes
in our lives.
Essentially, changing ourhabits, but also surviving
amidst all the chaos that lifethrows us.
Because life is crazy, right?
I like to always say, comparedto what?
But...
Life is crazy.
And yesterday was crazy for mebecause I do deliveries and gig
(01:30):
work full time for my income atthe moment.
And I was on a Chipotledelivery and I was about halfway
to the customer.
When I push the clutch in, Idrive a manual transmission.
And as I push the clutch in, Ihear a pop and the clutch sinks
to the floor and it won't comeback up.
So I'm like, oh boy, what do Ido now?
(01:52):
My mind starts racing, butimmediately I caught myself,
found myself.
I was like, well, I got to getto a safe spot.
So using the momentum the caralready had, thankfully, I was
able to get over two lanes, pullinto a parking lot, and cruise
into a parking spot.
So it all worked out.
I contacted my insurance to getroadside assistance to get my
(02:18):
car towed home.
But during that time, my...
You know, anyone in my positionthat works full-time as a
delivery guy, if your car breaksdown, your income's gone.
So I made the calls, got thecar home.
I found the part that I needed.
It took me a while.
But essentially, I can't getthe part until Monday if it's
(02:40):
even in stock.
It's only at the dealershipthat I can find it.
AutoZone and O'Reilly's, placeslike that, don't carry it.
So I have to wait until Kiaopens and their parts department
opens on Monday, tomorrow.
It's Sunday right now as I'mrecording this.
I'll release it on Thursday.
But it was a little stressful.
(03:02):
But I started...
I started to remember mypractice, coming back to my
breath, coming back to my being,not worrying, not just telling
myself not to worry, butgenuinely not worrying.
There is only so much you cando in a given situation, really.
And beyond that, you're justgoing to stress yourself out.
(03:23):
So I've got to wait tilltomorrow.
And here I am today.
So I thought, well, at least Ihave extra free time to record
the podcast episode, becauseusually I record on Tuesday or
Wednesday morning.
And I only have about an hourto an hour and a half to do it
before I have to get to workbecause I really don't get days
off right now.
Occasionally, I'll get thelatter half of a day or maybe a
(03:46):
full Tuesday or a full Wednesdayoff when money permits.
But most of the time, I have towork seven days a week, which
usually comes to about 50 to 60hours a week of work.
And in those hours, there is nolunch break.
There is no 15-minute break.
I do get a little reprieve atthe restaurants that I'm picking
up from for a couple of minuteswhile I'm waiting for the
(04:08):
order, but not a lot of freetime for the podcast.
So the fact that the car isbroken down right now gives me a
little extra time.
And the first thing I did thismorning was research the part I
needed to make sure that that'sall set.
There's always that quote thatcomes to my mind when crazy
things arise, and it's from theDalai Lama.
(04:30):
He says, if you can fix it, theproblem, whatever it is that's
worrying you, then there's noneed to worry.
And if you can't, then there'sno need to worry.
There's basically never a goodtime to worry.
So I remembered that and I waslike, well, what can I do right
now?
Research what part I need,figure out how much it's going
to cost, my plan of action ofgetting it tomorrow.
(04:51):
Okay, that's done.
Now what?
Well, I can be, just be.
spend some time with my son.
I walked with my four-year-old,Leon.
He's a wonderful boy.
We walked to the gas stationtogether, and we weren't in a
hurry.
We weren't in a rush, and itwas so wonderful.
He was just telling meeverything on his mind, and it
(05:14):
just melted my heart.
It actually made me a littleemotional because he said, Dad,
I'm I love it when you get tostay home with me because he
doesn't get to see me that much.
And that's been one of thebiggest struggles about me
having to work all these hoursis that I don't get a lot of
time with my children.
And that's the hardest part,actually.
And the free time that I doget, for a long time, I was
(05:39):
filling it with bad habits toblunt or ease the pain.
I'm sure many of you listeningcan relate.
Life is demanding.
Life is stressful.
And the internal stress thatthat causes, we can deal with in
less than optimal ways.
One of the ways that I do that,at the end of the day, I like
(06:00):
to have a little cannabis justto relax.
I don't use a lot of it.
I'm not a wake and baker.
But at the end of the day, ithas been nice to have a little
bit to take the edge off.
I used to have alcohol with it.
once in a while, not a dailydrinker, but two, maybe three
times a week, I would havealcohol, sometimes more if I'm
being honest.
And I've kicked that alcoholhabit.
(06:22):
Thankfully, I kicked it acouple of months ago.
It wasn't easy, but I feel muchbetter now that I have.
And I've struggled in my lifewith changing my habits.
I think we all do.
We're creatures of habit.
What we do on a regular basisbecomes the norm.
And then it's hard to get outof that.
(06:43):
Without silence or being, youreally, I found that it's really
hard to change a habit unlessyou sit with it and be with it.
And that's what I wanted totalk about today because I want
to change some of my habits thatI still have, which One of them
(07:10):
is cannabis.
One of them is my video gametime.
And one of them is mynutrition.
I need to get in shape.
Starting a consistent trainingprogram.
I've been on and off trainingprograms throughout the years,
on and off with eating healthyand then giving up and just
eating frozen pizzas or fastfood for convenience.
(07:32):
And all these little thingsmake big differences in our
lives.
And I've noticed that theharder I try to force myself to
change a habit, the less likelyI am to actually change the
habit.
It's like the change has toalmost come about by itself.
And I struggled for the longesttime of like, how do I do this?
(07:54):
What do I do to change myhabits?
And I found the only way thatit can happen is to cultivate
being, to cultivate peace and atleast for me, and I'm sure for
you as well, but only you cansee if you try.
And that process involvesslowing down, breathing, being
(08:16):
with yourself, seeing what isgoing on inside of you.
How do you feel?
There's a wonderful quote fromFred Rogers.
Many of you know as Mr.
Rogers from Mr.
Rogers' Neighborhood.
And I absolutely love this man,not just for his TV program
that I used to watch all thetime as a kid, but because the
(08:36):
man embodies peace andstillness.
I think he's a saint,personally.
I think he's a highly realizedbeing.
He understands How this worldworks on a high level.
And he does it because he'svery silent interiorly.
Check out this quote.
He was in an interview.
(08:57):
I'll put a link to thisinterview with Fred Rogers in
the description so that you guyscan see it for yourself, hear
it for yourselves.
But the interviewer asked himabout a book that he had just
written at the time.
And he said, so this is adistillation of your growing and
learning.
It's about what exactly?
(09:18):
And Fred Rogers responded bysaying, quote, it's about being.
It's about the things thatmatter to me.
It's about the white spacesbetween the paragraphs, which I
think are more important thanany of the text.
because it allows you to thinkabout what's just been said.
(09:41):
And that's really profound, notjust in a sense that when you
are reading something, you haveto allow yourself time to
process it, but also the thingsthat you're feeling in your
life.
You have to be with that insilence in order for you to
process it and understand whatis really happening.
(10:04):
Take, for example...
I started recently eatinghealthier and in smaller amounts
because I need to lose weight.
I'm five foot eight, not verytall.
And I was eating larger amountsof food, I think as a coping
mechanism.
Sometimes we...
We give into our desires alittle too much to compensate
(10:28):
for the stresses in our lives.
We call it stress eating.
And I was doing just thatwithout even realizing it.
And this is while I wasmeditating and learning to be
more mindful throughout my day,especially in the beginning.
And eventually it got to thepoint where a stillness or
silence had grown, a sense ofbeing had grown in me to the
(10:49):
point where I started to becomevery mindful of what I was
putting into my mouth, how I waseating.
And I started paying attentionto how I felt afterwards, how it
started impacting my sleep.
And I just naturally wanted tofeel better, to feel more alert
instead of sluggish.
And out of that natural desire,to cultivate presence and peace
(11:13):
in myself, I naturally startedeating less.
I would start eating some ofthe food that I normally ate and
about halfway through what Iwould normally eat, I was like,
you know what?
I feel good right now.
I feel content.
Why do I need to eat this muchextra?
So I just started saving it inthe fridge and having it later
the next day, spending lessmoney.
(11:35):
And the scale started goingdown.
I'm down about 15 pounds now.
And I have about 35, maybe 45pounds that I need to lose.
And I have some years under mybelt with weightlifting.
So I do have some muscle thatI've built in the past.
So my frame.
(11:56):
I'll be honest with you guys.
I have nothing to hide, Isuppose.
I'm about 215 pounds.
I was pushing 230 just about amonth and a half, two months
ago.
Just by eating less and itDesiring to just feel good and
(12:17):
be and not stuff my mouthquickly with food just to cover
up feelings of stress from myworkload or whatever, I've lost
weight.
I have failed so many times tostart my quote unquote diet over
the last year.
two three four years evenlonger I would always get on the
(12:39):
horse and stay on it for awhile and then fall off the
longest I'd ever get was likethree or four weeks and then I'd
fall off the horse again and Iwould just it was so my wife
would tell me you always go inextremes you eat a lot or you
eat nothing and then you wonderwhy it's not working and it
makes sense but I couldn't comeat it from the approach of me
(13:00):
confronting a problem like it'san enemy or a habit like it's an
enemy that I had to beat it.
I had to just cultivate apeacefulness and a stillness
inside of me that I desired toexperience more than the
pleasure that the food gave me.
There's a big differencebetween pleasure and and
(13:21):
happiness.
And I was happy when I ate theright amount of food.
And I am happy when I eat theright amount of food.
And I'm even happier when I eathealthier food, nutritious
food, especially higher inprotein content, because it
satiates you better.
You feel fuller eating less.
(13:42):
And vegetables have a wonderfuleffect on the body.
So I'm going to start a habitseries.
I don't know what I'll call ityet.
They'll probably be shorterepisodes that I'll release,
probably intermittently betweenregular weekly releases.
I have episodes coming outThursday mornings, 5 a.m.
(14:02):
Arizona time every week.
So I'll probably do the habitseries maybe on a Sunday or
Monday release, somewhere in themiddle of the week.
And only once in a while,perhaps, where I update you with
my fat loss status or my otherhabits that I'm trying to break,
which I'll go into later in theepisode.
There's another quote from FredRogers along this line that I
(14:23):
wanted to read out to you guys.
And this hearkens to what I wastalking about with cultivating
peace and inner stillness.
So check this out.
The interviewer asks FredRogers, "'Who has made a
difference in your life?' AndFred Rogers replied, quote, Oh,
a lot of people, but a lot ofpeople who have allowed me to
(14:46):
have some silence.
I don't think we give that giftvery much anymore.
I'm very concerned that oursociety is much more interested
in information than wonder innoise rather than silence.
How do we encourage reflection?
I trust that this book will dosome of that, but oh my, this is
(15:11):
a noisy world.
You see, he's pointing to thatsame truth that all of us Not
just myself, all of youlistening, we are bombarded on a
daily basis by a fire hose ofinformation.
And that's right in yourpocket.
Your phone chimes and you rushto grab it.
(15:31):
Even if your phone is silent,you rush to grab it to see what
you can fill the silence with,what you can fill these little
breaks we get with more noiseinstead of cultivating more
peace.
And you've heard this beforethat we need to use our
smartphones and screens less toBut what is an actual practical
(15:53):
way of doing that and goingabout that?
Because otherwise, I'm justgonna sound like any other voice
that you've heard that says, doless of this, do more of this.
But how?
How do you do that?
You obviously want to do it,but you don't.
I'm the same way.
Paul wrote about this in hisepistles in the Bible when he
(16:14):
says, I do the thing that I donot want to do.
And I won't go into more detailon that, but you can read that
passage.
I forget which book it's in,but this is a problem that's
plagued mankind for a long time.
Another passage that I wantedto read to you is the 23rd Psalm
in the Bible written by David.
And in it, You'll hear manytranslations say, the Lord is my
(16:40):
shepherd in the very beginning.
But I want to remind you allthat when the Bible was
originally written, the Lord wasnot what was written.
It was Yahweh, which is thename given to God or ascribed to
God by Moses in the book ofExodus.
And Yahweh, the name of God,which we are told not to take in
(17:03):
vain, means to be.
to exist or being in general,past, present, and future tense,
I am.
So remember that when I sayYahweh in this passage, okay?
Yahweh is my shepherd.
I shall not want.
(17:24):
He makes me lie down in greenpastures.
He leads me beside stillwaters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in right paths forhis name's sake.
Even though I walk through thedarkest valley, I fear no evil
(17:49):
for you are with me.
Your rod and your staff, theycomfort me.
You prepare a table for me inthe presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil.
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shallfollow me all the days of my
(18:13):
life.
And I shall dwell in the houseof Yahweh my whole life long.
So you see here he's pointingto your being.
That same stillness that FredRogers is talking about, that
stillness is your being, thatsilence.
(18:35):
St.
John of the Cross says, thefirst language of God was
silence.
And we need to remember that.
Silence is a powerful thing.
Just to take time out of yourbusy, noisy day, even if it's
five minutes, to just be still,to stop striving, to allow a
(18:58):
breath of air to pass, a breathof silence.
You'll be amazed at theinsights that you can derive
from this.
Later, we hear in the NewTestament from Rabbi Yeshua or
Teacher Jesus, as he is calledin the Greek, do not worry.
(19:20):
He says, therefore, I tell you,do not worry about your life,
what you will eat or what youwill drink or about your body,
what you will wear.
Is not life more than food andthe body more than clothing?
Look at the birds of the air.
They neither sow nor reap norgather into barns, and yet your
(19:41):
heavenly Father feeds them.
Are you not of more value thanthey?
And which of you by worryingcan add a single hour to your
span of life?
And why do you worry aboutclothing?
Consider the lilies of thefield, how they grow.
They neither toil nor spin.
And yet I tell you, evenSolomon in all his glory was not
(20:06):
clothed like one of these.
But if God so clothes the grassof the field, which is alive
today and tomorrow is throwninto the oven, will he not much
more clothe you, you of littlefaith?
Therefore do not worry, saying,Oh, what will we eat?
What will we drink?
What will we wear?
(20:27):
For it is the Gentiles whostrive for all these things.
And indeed, your heavenlyFather knows that you need all
these things.
But strive first for thekingdom of God and his
righteousness, and all thesethings will be given to you as
well.
So do not worry about tomorrow,for tomorrow will bring worries
(20:49):
of its own.
Today's trouble is enough fortoday.
And I remembered that when Ifelt my clutch pedal sink to the
floor.
I mean, immediately my brainthought, there goes my income.
And I'm recording this onSunday, and I do not know how
I'm going to pay my bills nextweek.
(21:10):
I have a little bit of money,but the fact that I was not able
to work today is going to costme about $250 in earnings, and
that's going to set me back.
I'm still on track to pay mybills this month, but...
It's not easy.
It's not pleasant in my brainright now.
(21:32):
It's a weight.
But if that worry starts toarise, I remember what teachers
like Fred Rogers or Jesus orDavid say, which is to let go of
my striving.
to let go of my worrying thatthose things will be taken care
(21:53):
of in their right time, that Ican have trust, which is another
word for faith.
The King James translation,when he says, do not worry about
tomorrow, was take no thoughtfor tomorrow, which I really
like.
Do not think about tomorrow.
And if there is somethingpressing, because I know a lot
(22:16):
of you are thinking, well, Jake,I have to think, I have to
plan.
And I'm not saying don't plan,but when the thought arises in
your mind that you havesomething to take care of, like
for example, I have to call thegas company so that our gas does
not get shut off and I have todo it within the next 24 hours.
I can't forget about that.
(22:36):
But when that thought pops inmy head, I simply say, okay, I'm
going to notate that on myphone, add a reminder, and it's
gone.
And I'm not going to dwell onit.
I'm not going to ruminate andgo in circles on it.
I will take care of it.
Another teacher or mystic whospoke something similar, just
(22:59):
like Jesus or Fred Rogers, wasLao Tzu in the Tao Te Ching,
verse 15.
He says, The ancient masterswere profound and subtle.
Their wisdom was unfathomable.
There is no way to describe it.
All we can describe is theirappearance.
They were careful as someonecrossing an iced-over stream,
(23:25):
alert as a warrior in enemyterritory, courteous as a guest,
fluid as melting ice, shapeableas a block of wood.
receptive as a valley, clear asa glass of water.
Do you have the patience towait until your mud settles and
(23:48):
the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving tillthe right action arises by
itself?
The master does not seekfulfillment.
Not seeking, not expecting, sheis present." and can welcome
all things." This is powerfulstuff.
(24:09):
These people are speaking froma wisdom that is beyond their
intellect.
They have cultivated, like agarden, a peace within
themselves, a space withinthemselves, and they didn't
(24:29):
cultivate it by force.
You can't force a garden togrow.
You can't pull the daisies upor you'll rip them out of the
ground.
They let be.
There's a Zen saying, sittingquietly, doing nothing, the
spring comes and the grass growsby itself.
(24:51):
So we take action and we dowhat needs to be done in our
lives to But there's no need togo beyond that.
And until we take moments tostop and smell the roses, as
they say, or cultivate thatstillness in us, these right
(25:14):
actions, we won't know what theyare or what to do.
In our franticness, like FredRogers said, it's a noisy world.
And in our franticness, we...
We strive too hard to figurethese things out.
And in so doing, we make itworse.
(25:35):
There's another verse from LaoTzu in verse 48 of the same
book.
He says, in pursuit ofknowledge, every day something
is added.
In the practice of the Tao,every day something is dropped.
Less and less do you need toforce things.
And this reminds me of a lessonthat we can all learn from the
(26:21):
Star Wars film saga, where wecan learn a lot of things
through fiction even though it'sfiction it is laced with human
wisdom real true human wisdomand if you go back you will see
anakin skywalker in his life heis confronted with an issue that
(26:44):
he simply cannot ignore and hesimply cannot surrender to
Notice that word surrender andrest.
You'll find it in the Biblewhen it comes to salvation.
We always need to rest intosalvation or surrender into it.
We can't do it ourselves.
And in the third Star Warsfilm, Anakin Skywalker is faced
(27:09):
with the idea that his wife isgoing to die, Padme, and she is
pregnant with his child,children, which he doesn't know
at the time.
And he's so consumed with theidea of her death that he must
do something.
He must take control.
(27:30):
Now, Master Yoda, his wisemaster of 800 years plus, he
advises him, just like Lao Tzu,to do nothing.
When nothing is done, nothingis left undone.
He says...
You must learn to let go of allyou fear to lose.
(27:51):
And I'm paraphrasing him.
But does he do that?
No.
He grabs tighter.
The person that positionshimself, the emperor, as the
only way of saving Padme isabout to be arrested by Mace
Windu.
So he rushes over there andsaves the emperor.
And what happens?
(28:11):
Him trying to save his wiferesults in her death.
I hope I didn't spoil themovie.
It's been out for over 20 yearsjust about now.
I think this year is the 20thanniversary.
But spoil alert, that's how hiswife dies and how he becomes
Darth Vader.
He just can't trust that hiswife will be okay.
(28:33):
He must do something to saveher.
And in his mustness of,mustness, is that a word?
In his inability to trust, heruins everything.
And the same thing happens tohis son, Luke Skywalker.
He can't trust that things willturn out okay with his friends.
(28:56):
And he ends up trying to savethem, just like his father did
with his wife.
He tries to save his friendsand he fails.
He loses his hand and he sortof goes backwards in his
teachings.
And then again, later in hislife, his nephew...
If you've seen the sequeltrilogy, they have problems.
(29:17):
They could have been muchbetter, and I won't digress into
that.
But there's something really,really profound in Star Wars
Episode VIII, which a lot ofpeople hate.
It's called The Last Jedi.
Me personally, that was myfavorite of the new trilogy
because the center theme of itwas about failure.
And the biggest failure in thefilm is Luke Skywalker with his
(29:42):
nephew, Kylo Ren, or Ben, ashe's called in the film.
And Luke Skywalker has visionsof his nephew becoming evil and
joining forces with Snoke, who'skind of like a fill-in for the
Emperor from the original films.
And in his panic, in his worry,in his need for control, he
(30:05):
decides, I'm going to kill mynephew because he had visions of
all the horrible things thathis nephew would do.
So he says, I'm going to takecontrol and kill him.
And in his madness, as he'sjust about to bring his saber
down and end his life, He has amoment of clarity and he
realizes he's gone mad.
(30:27):
But by then it's too late.
His nephew has seen him takeaction against him and he
fulfills the prophecy in his ownmind, his own worry, and
becomes the very evil thing thatLuke was trying to stop.
So what I'm getting at here inthe Star Wars series is that
both Anakin and his son Luke arefearing an outcome.
(30:49):
They take control to stop itand in so doing, they make sure
that that outcome is whatactually happens.
When all they had to do was bestill and leave it to the course
of things.
Now, I'm not advocating thatall of us live passively, but
it's like the Fred Rogers quoteat the beginning of this
(31:12):
episode.
Like he said, it's thestillness, it's the space
between words that allows us tomake better decisions.
And this is tying into what Iwanted to talk about, which is
also habits and breaking ourhabits.
We do the same thing withhabits.
(31:32):
So like me wanting to change mydiet and eat healthier, it felt
like something I had toconfront, like an enemy.
to break this bad habit andforce myself.
If I could just get throughthree weeks of good, healthy
eating, I'll have forced my wayinto a healthy habit.
But again and again, I keptfailing or wanting to quit
(31:54):
cannabis or caffeine or energydrinks or whatever it is.
You know, play less videogames, be more present with my
family.
The only way that I'm going togo about those things is by
cultivating a still peace withinmyself.
essentially by craving ordesiring the state of stillness
(32:17):
versus distraction.
We don't change by fightingwhat we're feeling or running
from it, but being with it insilence and contemplation.
So this is going to be a majortheme of this side series with
updates today.
You know, those listening,Patreon followers, if you want
(32:39):
to let me know things or habitsthat you're trying to change as
well, you know, we can do littleweekly updates with each other.
We can engage with each otherin Discord and maybe help hold
each other accountable, butultimately to have compassion on
ourselves and others when wefail at changing these habits.
We're moving towards the finishline here, but I wanted to read
(33:02):
a quote from the Buddha.
As I abided thus...
Diligent, ardent, and resolute,a thought of sensual desire
arose in me.
I understood thus, this thoughtof sensual desire has arisen in
me.
This leads to my ownaffliction, to others'
(33:22):
affliction, and to theaffliction of both.
It obstructs wisdom, causesdifficulties, and leads away
from nirvana.
What I considered nirvana Thisleads to my own affliction.
It subsided in me.
When I considered this leads toothers' affliction, it subsided
(33:43):
in me.
When I considered this leads tothe affliction of both, it
subsided in me.
And when I considered thisobstructs wisdom, causes
difficulties, and leads awayfrom nirvana, it subsided in me.
Whenever a thought of sensualdesire arose in me, I abandoned
(34:05):
it, removed it, did away withit.
Just as in the last month ofthe hot season, when all the
crops have been brought insidethe villages, a cowherd would
guard his cows while staying atthe root of a tree or out in the
open, since he needs only to bemindful that the cows are
there.
So too, there was a need for meonly to be mindful when those
(34:30):
states were there.
Tireless energy was aroused inme and unremitted mindfulness
was established.
My body was tranquil anduntroubled, my mind concentrated
and unified.
In our practice of abidingardent, clearly knowing and
mindful, we learned to find theappropriate balance between
(34:51):
active and receptive.
doing and non-doing.
You see how that reflects tothe Tao Te Ching poem I read
earlier?
What the Buddha is saying hereis that you don't need to force
your thoughts away.
You simply need to be aware ofthem.
(35:12):
So if the desire arises in you,let me give you an example of I
had, what was it, about twoweeks ago when I was in the
process of eating less and justnaturally liking that healthier
feeling and state of mind, Iactually had the desire to go
eat a frozen pizza that I hadpurchased.
(35:32):
And my wife had put a pictureof our daughter when she was
only a few months old, and it isthe most Beautiful picture of
her.
She's like staring into thecamera lens with that perfectly
innocent stare with her two eyessort of looking at you like
Puss in Boots from Shrek withthose, you know big eyes, you
(35:56):
know and it it made me reflecton what the Buddha said here
where he says When I consideredthis leads to others'
affliction, it subsided in me.
So I had the desire to go eatsomething unhealthy, and then
that picture reminded me that mebeing unhealthier is going to
(36:16):
affect my daughter.
What if I have a heart attack?
What would that do to mydaughter if I didn't live a full
healthy life or at least thebest of my ability?
Or what about if I have a moresluggish mind and I'm less
inclined to go play with her andmy kids outside or whatever, to
not be the best me?
(36:36):
And it doesn't mean I need tohold myself to some unrealistic
standard, but anytime we aretempted with something that
perhaps is not as wholesome asit could be, we can reflect on
how will this affect myself andhow will this affect others in
(36:57):
my life that I love, my wife, mykids, you know, whoever's in
your life.
So again, we don't change ourhabits by fighting them or what
we're feeling or running fromthem by a drink at the end of
the day or a smoke or...
this or that distraction, wechange by being with it in
(37:24):
silence and contemplation.
So if you guys can suggest someclever title for this perhaps
breaking habits side series, Iwould love to hear what you guys
have in mind.
I'll be posting them as I goalong.
I am down to about 214, 215 nowand I'll keep you posted as I
(37:44):
go.
Maybe later if I'm brave, I'lldo some before and after photos
or maybe we'll have a Discordchat room for people looking to
change habits where we can sortof come together as a group and
say, you know, my name's Billand I'm struggling with this and
this is where I'm going.
(38:05):
And there's no judgment.
Because it's not easy to changehabits.
We're creatures of habit.
So that is going to do it fortoday's episode, guys.
I'll let you know how things gowith my habit changes and with
the car repair and hopefullymaking my bills on time.
If you would like to supportthe podcast, please follow or
(38:29):
subscribe on whichever appyou're in.
Leave a, perhaps a review.
I'd love to hear from you andyour comments.
You can also support us bygoing to patreon.com slash
standing nowhere podcast.
You can also leave me feedbackdirectly at standing nowhere
podcast at gmail.com.
(38:49):
And I'd love to connect withyou.
I'd love for you to be a partof this show and perhaps share
your story over the air.
But I am very grateful to allof you for listening to me talk
your ear off for this past 40minutes.
And I'm grateful for thiscreative project because my goal
(39:11):
here is to be accountable andvulnerable with you guys.
share what it means to behuman, talk about how we can
cultivate mindfulness and wakingup on a day-to-day basis.
So thank you.
Much gratitude for you forlistening.
This has been Standing Nowhere.
I'm your host, Jake, andblessings to all.
(39:35):
This voice might feel like duston the dial But I'm standing
nowhere and I've been for awhile No heroes, no headlines,
no promises made Just a whisperthat won't be afraid like home
(40:15):
No flats to wait No need to roamThe silence speaks louder than
war ever could And I've neverfelt so understood The static is
(40:41):
kind to follow no king on thethrone the sky's turning amber
the clock's all reset and Ihaven't stopped walking just yet
(41:11):
standing nowhere air wide andfree Chains no name, no destiny
The road dissolves, the skyturns white I'm still here,
(41:37):
nothing
All right, we're rolling.
We are on episode five ofStanding Nowhere.
I'm your host, Jacob Buehler.
Welcome back, everyone.
I'm excited because today'sepisode marks the one-month
(00:23):
anniversary that I launched thepodcast and And for me, that's a
lot.
Sorry, I'm a little out ofbreath.
I did a couple of squats beforestarting this episode to get
the blood flowing a little bit.
You sit too long in a chair andyour mind turns into mush.
So one month in, I had a littledelayed period starting this
podcast because I was nervous.
(00:45):
I wasn't quite ready for it.
I was just starting my journeyof self-reflection,
introspective, looking in, whatis the self?
What is this This life anduniverse all about.
Y'all know my story from thefirst episode.
Y'all.
I use that word.
Y'all.
And today I wanted to talkabout chaos, cultivating peace
(01:08):
amidst the chaos, and how beingnot forcing results in changes
in our lives.
Essentially, changing ourhabits, but also surviving
amidst all the chaos that lifethrows us.
Because life is crazy, right?
I like to always say, comparedto what?
But...
Life is crazy.
And yesterday was crazy for mebecause I do deliveries and gig
(01:30):
work full time for my income atthe moment.
And I was on a Chipotledelivery and I was about halfway
to the customer.
When I push the clutch in, Idrive a manual transmission.
And as I push the clutch in, Ihear a pop and the clutch sinks
to the floor and it won't comeback up.
So I'm like, oh boy, what do Ido now?
(01:52):
My mind starts racing, butimmediately I caught myself,
found myself.
I was like, well, I got to getto a safe spot.
So using the momentum the caralready had, thankfully, I was
able to get over two lanes, pullinto a parking lot, and cruise
into a parking spot.
So it all worked out.
I contacted my insurance to getroadside assistance to get my
(02:18):
car towed home.
But during that time, my...
You know, anyone in my positionthat works full-time as a
delivery guy, if your car breaksdown, your income's gone.
So I made the calls, got thecar home.
I found the part that I needed.
It took me a while.
But essentially, I can't getthe part until Monday if it's
(02:40):
even in stock.
It's only at the dealershipthat I can find it.
AutoZone and O'Reilly's, placeslike that, don't carry it.
So I have to wait until Kiaopens and their parts department
opens on Monday, tomorrow.
It's Sunday right now as I'mrecording this.
I'll release it on Thursday.
But it was a little stressful.
(03:02):
But I started...
I started to remember mypractice, coming back to my
breath, coming back to my being,not worrying, not just telling
myself not to worry, butgenuinely not worrying.
There is only so much you cando in a given situation, really.
And beyond that, you're justgoing to stress yourself out.
(03:23):
So I've got to wait tilltomorrow.
And here I am today.
So I thought, well, at least Ihave extra free time to record
the podcast episode, becauseusually I record on Tuesday or
Wednesday morning.
And I only have about an hourto an hour and a half to do it
before I have to get to workbecause I really don't get days
off right now.
Occasionally, I'll get thelatter half of a day or maybe a
(03:46):
full Tuesday or a full Wednesdayoff when money permits.
But most of the time, I have towork seven days a week, which
usually comes to about 50 to 60hours a week of work.
And in those hours, there is nolunch break.
There is no 15-minute break.
I do get a little reprieve atthe restaurants that I'm picking
up from for a couple of minuteswhile I'm waiting for the
(04:08):
order, but not a lot of freetime for the podcast.
So the fact that the car isbroken down right now gives me a
little extra time.
And the first thing I did thismorning was research the part I
needed to make sure that that'sall set.
There's always that quote thatcomes to my mind when crazy
things arise, and it's from theDalai Lama.
(04:30):
He says, if you can fix it, theproblem, whatever it is that's
worrying you, then there's noneed to worry.
And if you can't, then there'sno need to worry.
There's basically never a goodtime to worry.
So I remembered that and I waslike, well, what can I do right
now?
Research what part I need,figure out how much it's going
to cost, my plan of action ofgetting it tomorrow.
(04:51):
Okay, that's done.
Now what?
Well, I can be, just be.
spend some time with my son.
I walked with my four-year-old,Leon.
He's a wonderful boy.
We walked to the gas stationtogether, and we weren't in a
hurry.
We weren't in a rush, and itwas so wonderful.
He was just telling meeverything on his mind, and it
(05:14):
just melted my heart.
It actually made me a littleemotional because he said, Dad,
I'm I love it when you get tostay home with me because he
doesn't get to see me that much.
And that's been one of thebiggest struggles about me
having to work all these hoursis that I don't get a lot of
time with my children.
And that's the hardest part,actually.
And the free time that I doget, for a long time, I was
(05:39):
filling it with bad habits toblunt or ease the pain.
I'm sure many of you listeningcan relate.
Life is demanding.
Life is stressful.
And the internal stress thatthat causes, we can deal with in
less than optimal ways.
One of the ways that I do that,at the end of the day, I like
(06:00):
to have a little cannabis justto relax.
I don't use a lot of it.
I'm not a wake and baker.
But at the end of the day, ithas been nice to have a little
bit to take the edge off.
I used to have alcohol with it.
once in a while, not a dailydrinker, but two, maybe three
times a week, I would havealcohol, sometimes more if I'm
being honest.
And I've kicked that alcoholhabit.
(06:22):
Thankfully, I kicked it acouple of months ago.
It wasn't easy, but I feel muchbetter now that I have.
And I've struggled in my lifewith changing my habits.
I think we all do.
We're creatures of habit.
What we do on a regular basisbecomes the norm.
And then it's hard to get outof that.
(06:43):
Without silence or being, youreally, I found that it's really
hard to change a habit unlessyou sit with it and be with it.
And that's what I wanted totalk about today because I want
to change some of my habits thatI still have, which One of them
(07:10):
is cannabis.
One of them is my video gametime.
And one of them is mynutrition.
I need to get in shape.
Starting a consistent trainingprogram.
I've been on and off trainingprograms throughout the years,
on and off with eating healthyand then giving up and just
eating frozen pizzas or fastfood for convenience.
(07:32):
And all these little thingsmake big differences in our
lives.
And I've noticed that theharder I try to force myself to
change a habit, the less likelyI am to actually change the
habit.
It's like the change has toalmost come about by itself.
And I struggled for the longesttime of like, how do I do this?
(07:54):
What do I do to change myhabits?
And I found the only way thatit can happen is to cultivate
being, to cultivate peace and atleast for me, and I'm sure for
you as well, but only you cansee if you try.
And that process involvesslowing down, breathing, being
(08:16):
with yourself, seeing what isgoing on inside of you.
How do you feel?
There's a wonderful quote fromFred Rogers.
Many of you know as Mr.
Rogers from Mr.
Rogers' Neighborhood.
And I absolutely love this man,not just for his TV program
that I used to watch all thetime as a kid, but because the
(08:36):
man embodies peace andstillness.
I think he's a saint,personally.
I think he's a highly realizedbeing.
He understands How this worldworks on a high level.
And he does it because he'svery silent interiorly.
Check out this quote.
He was in an interview.
(08:57):
I'll put a link to thisinterview with Fred Rogers in
the description so that you guyscan see it for yourself, hear
it for yourselves.
But the interviewer asked himabout a book that he had just
written at the time.
And he said, so this is adistillation of your growing and
learning.
It's about what exactly?
(09:18):
And Fred Rogers responded bysaying, quote, it's about being.
It's about the things thatmatter to me.
It's about the white spacesbetween the paragraphs, which I
think are more important thanany of the text.
because it allows you to thinkabout what's just been said.
(09:41):
And that's really profound, notjust in a sense that when you
are reading something, you haveto allow yourself time to
process it, but also the thingsthat you're feeling in your
life.
You have to be with that insilence in order for you to
process it and understand whatis really happening.
(10:04):
Take, for example...
I started recently eatinghealthier and in smaller amounts
because I need to lose weight.
I'm five foot eight, not verytall.
And I was eating larger amountsof food, I think as a coping
mechanism.
Sometimes we...
We give into our desires alittle too much to compensate
(10:28):
for the stresses in our lives.
We call it stress eating.
And I was doing just thatwithout even realizing it.
And this is while I wasmeditating and learning to be
more mindful throughout my day,especially in the beginning.
And eventually it got to thepoint where a stillness or
silence had grown, a sense ofbeing had grown in me to the
(10:49):
point where I started to becomevery mindful of what I was
putting into my mouth, how I waseating.
And I started paying attentionto how I felt afterwards, how it
started impacting my sleep.
And I just naturally wanted tofeel better, to feel more alert
instead of sluggish.
And out of that natural desire,to cultivate presence and peace
(11:13):
in myself, I naturally startedeating less.
I would start eating some ofthe food that I normally ate and
about halfway through what Iwould normally eat, I was like,
you know what?
I feel good right now.
I feel content.
Why do I need to eat this muchextra?
So I just started saving it inthe fridge and having it later
the next day, spending lessmoney.
(11:35):
And the scale started goingdown.
I'm down about 15 pounds now.
And I have about 35, maybe 45pounds that I need to lose.
And I have some years under mybelt with weightlifting.
So I do have some muscle thatI've built in the past.
So my frame.
(11:56):
I'll be honest with you guys.
I have nothing to hide, Isuppose.
I'm about 215 pounds.
I was pushing 230 just about amonth and a half, two months
ago.
Just by eating less and itDesiring to just feel good and
(12:17):
be and not stuff my mouthquickly with food just to cover
up feelings of stress from myworkload or whatever, I've lost
weight.
I have failed so many times tostart my quote unquote diet over
the last year.
two three four years evenlonger I would always get on the
(12:39):
horse and stay on it for awhile and then fall off the
longest I'd ever get was likethree or four weeks and then I'd
fall off the horse again and Iwould just it was so my wife
would tell me you always go inextremes you eat a lot or you
eat nothing and then you wonderwhy it's not working and it
makes sense but I couldn't comeat it from the approach of me
(13:00):
confronting a problem like it'san enemy or a habit like it's an
enemy that I had to beat it.
I had to just cultivate apeacefulness and a stillness
inside of me that I desired toexperience more than the
pleasure that the food gave me.
There's a big differencebetween pleasure and and
(13:21):
happiness.
And I was happy when I ate theright amount of food.
And I am happy when I eat theright amount of food.
And I'm even happier when I eathealthier food, nutritious
food, especially higher inprotein content, because it
satiates you better.
You feel fuller eating less.
(13:42):
And vegetables have a wonderfuleffect on the body.
So I'm going to start a habitseries.
I don't know what I'll call ityet.
They'll probably be shorterepisodes that I'll release,
probably intermittently betweenregular weekly releases.
I have episodes coming outThursday mornings, 5 a.m.
(14:02):
Arizona time every week.
So I'll probably do the habitseries maybe on a Sunday or
Monday release, somewhere in themiddle of the week.
And only once in a while,perhaps, where I update you with
my fat loss status or my otherhabits that I'm trying to break,
which I'll go into later in theepisode.
There's another quote from FredRogers along this line that I
(14:23):
wanted to read out to you guys.
And this hearkens to what I wastalking about with cultivating
peace and inner stillness.
So check this out.
The interviewer asks FredRogers, "'Who has made a
difference in your life?' AndFred Rogers replied, quote, Oh,
a lot of people, but a lot ofpeople who have allowed me to
(14:46):
have some silence.
I don't think we give that giftvery much anymore.
I'm very concerned that oursociety is much more interested
in information than wonder innoise rather than silence.
How do we encourage reflection?
I trust that this book will dosome of that, but oh my, this is
(15:11):
a noisy world.
You see, he's pointing to thatsame truth that all of us Not
just myself, all of youlistening, we are bombarded on a
daily basis by a fire hose ofinformation.
And that's right in yourpocket.
Your phone chimes and you rushto grab it.
(15:31):
Even if your phone is silent,you rush to grab it to see what
you can fill the silence with,what you can fill these little
breaks we get with more noiseinstead of cultivating more
peace.
And you've heard this beforethat we need to use our
smartphones and screens less toBut what is an actual practical
(15:53):
way of doing that and goingabout that?
Because otherwise, I'm justgonna sound like any other voice
that you've heard that says, doless of this, do more of this.
But how?
How do you do that?
You obviously want to do it,but you don't.
I'm the same way.
Paul wrote about this in hisepistles in the Bible when he
(16:14):
says, I do the thing that I donot want to do.
And I won't go into more detailon that, but you can read that
passage.
I forget which book it's in,but this is a problem that's
plagued mankind for a long time.
Another passage that I wantedto read to you is the 23rd Psalm
in the Bible written by David.
And in it, You'll hear manytranslations say, the Lord is my
(16:40):
shepherd in the very beginning.
But I want to remind you allthat when the Bible was
originally written, the Lord wasnot what was written.
It was Yahweh, which is thename given to God or ascribed to
God by Moses in the book ofExodus.
And Yahweh, the name of God,which we are told not to take in
(17:03):
vain, means to be.
to exist or being in general,past, present, and future tense,
I am.
So remember that when I sayYahweh in this passage, okay?
Yahweh is my shepherd.
I shall not want.
(17:24):
He makes me lie down in greenpastures.
He leads me beside stillwaters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in right paths forhis name's sake.
Even though I walk through thedarkest valley, I fear no evil
(17:49):
for you are with me.
Your rod and your staff, theycomfort me.
You prepare a table for me inthe presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil.
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shallfollow me all the days of my
(18:13):
life.
And I shall dwell in the houseof Yahweh my whole life long.
So you see here he's pointingto your being.
That same stillness that FredRogers is talking about, that
stillness is your being, thatsilence.
(18:35):
St.
John of the Cross says, thefirst language of God was
silence.
And we need to remember that.
Silence is a powerful thing.
Just to take time out of yourbusy, noisy day, even if it's
five minutes, to just be still,to stop striving, to allow a
(18:58):
breath of air to pass, a breathof silence.
You'll be amazed at theinsights that you can derive
from this.
Later, we hear in the NewTestament from Rabbi Yeshua or
Teacher Jesus, as he is calledin the Greek, do not worry.
(19:20):
He says, therefore, I tell you,do not worry about your life,
what you will eat or what youwill drink or about your body,
what you will wear.
Is not life more than food andthe body more than clothing?
Look at the birds of the air.
They neither sow nor reap norgather into barns, and yet your
(19:41):
heavenly Father feeds them.
Are you not of more value thanthey?
And which of you by worryingcan add a single hour to your
span of life?
And why do you worry aboutclothing?
Consider the lilies of thefield, how they grow.
They neither toil nor spin.
And yet I tell you, evenSolomon in all his glory was not
(20:06):
clothed like one of these.
But if God so clothes the grassof the field, which is alive
today and tomorrow is throwninto the oven, will he not much
more clothe you, you of littlefaith?
Therefore do not worry, saying,Oh, what will we eat?
What will we drink?
What will we wear?
(20:27):
For it is the Gentiles whostrive for all these things.
And indeed, your heavenlyFather knows that you need all
these things.
But strive first for thekingdom of God and his
righteousness, and all thesethings will be given to you as
well.
So do not worry about tomorrow,for tomorrow will bring worries
(20:49):
of its own.
Today's trouble is enough fortoday.
And I remembered that when Ifelt my clutch pedal sink to the
floor.
I mean, immediately my brainthought, there goes my income.
And I'm recording this onSunday, and I do not know how
I'm going to pay my bills nextweek.
(21:10):
I have a little bit of money,but the fact that I was not able
to work today is going to costme about $250 in earnings, and
that's going to set me back.
I'm still on track to pay mybills this month, but...
It's not easy.
It's not pleasant in my brainright now.
(21:32):
It's a weight.
But if that worry starts toarise, I remember what teachers
like Fred Rogers or Jesus orDavid say, which is to let go of
my striving.
to let go of my worrying thatthose things will be taken care
(21:53):
of in their right time, that Ican have trust, which is another
word for faith.
The King James translation,when he says, do not worry about
tomorrow, was take no thoughtfor tomorrow, which I really
like.
Do not think about tomorrow.
And if there is somethingpressing, because I know a lot
(22:16):
of you are thinking, well, Jake,I have to think, I have to
plan.
And I'm not saying don't plan,but when the thought arises in
your mind that you havesomething to take care of, like
for example, I have to call thegas company so that our gas does
not get shut off and I have todo it within the next 24 hours.
I can't forget about that.
(22:36):
But when that thought pops inmy head, I simply say, okay, I'm
going to notate that on myphone, add a reminder, and it's
gone.
And I'm not going to dwell onit.
I'm not going to ruminate andgo in circles on it.
I will take care of it.
Another teacher or mystic whospoke something similar, just
(22:59):
like Jesus or Fred Rogers, wasLao Tzu in the Tao Te Ching,
verse 15.
He says, The ancient masterswere profound and subtle.
Their wisdom was unfathomable.
There is no way to describe it.
All we can describe is theirappearance.
They were careful as someonecrossing an iced-over stream,
(23:25):
alert as a warrior in enemyterritory, courteous as a guest,
fluid as melting ice, shapeableas a block of wood.
receptive as a valley, clear asa glass of water.
Do you have the patience towait until your mud settles and
(23:48):
the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving tillthe right action arises by
itself?
The master does not seekfulfillment.
Not seeking, not expecting, sheis present." and can welcome
all things." This is powerfulstuff.
(24:09):
These people are speaking froma wisdom that is beyond their
intellect.
They have cultivated, like agarden, a peace within
themselves, a space withinthemselves, and they didn't
(24:29):
cultivate it by force.
You can't force a garden togrow.
You can't pull the daisies upor you'll rip them out of the
ground.
They let be.
There's a Zen saying, sittingquietly, doing nothing, the
spring comes and the grass growsby itself.
(24:51):
So we take action and we dowhat needs to be done in our
lives to But there's no need togo beyond that.
And until we take moments tostop and smell the roses, as
they say, or cultivate thatstillness in us, these right
(25:14):
actions, we won't know what theyare or what to do.
In our franticness, like FredRogers said, it's a noisy world.
And in our franticness, we...
We strive too hard to figurethese things out.
And in so doing, we make itworse.
(25:35):
There's another verse from LaoTzu in verse 48 of the same
book.
He says, in pursuit ofknowledge, every day something
is added.
In the practice of the Tao,every day something is dropped.
Less and less do you need toforce things.
And this reminds me of a lessonthat we can all learn from the
(26:21):
Star Wars film saga, where wecan learn a lot of things
through fiction even though it'sfiction it is laced with human
wisdom real true human wisdomand if you go back you will see
anakin skywalker in his life heis confronted with an issue that
(26:44):
he simply cannot ignore and hesimply cannot surrender to
Notice that word surrender andrest.
You'll find it in the Biblewhen it comes to salvation.
We always need to rest intosalvation or surrender into it.
We can't do it ourselves.
And in the third Star Warsfilm, Anakin Skywalker is faced
(27:09):
with the idea that his wife isgoing to die, Padme, and she is
pregnant with his child,children, which he doesn't know
at the time.
And he's so consumed with theidea of her death that he must
do something.
He must take control.
(27:30):
Now, Master Yoda, his wisemaster of 800 years plus, he
advises him, just like Lao Tzu,to do nothing.
When nothing is done, nothingis left undone.
He says...
You must learn to let go of allyou fear to lose.
(27:51):
And I'm paraphrasing him.
But does he do that?
No.
He grabs tighter.
The person that positionshimself, the emperor, as the
only way of saving Padme isabout to be arrested by Mace
Windu.
So he rushes over there andsaves the emperor.
And what happens?
(28:11):
Him trying to save his wiferesults in her death.
I hope I didn't spoil themovie.
It's been out for over 20 yearsjust about now.
I think this year is the 20thanniversary.
But spoil alert, that's how hiswife dies and how he becomes
Darth Vader.
He just can't trust that hiswife will be okay.
(28:33):
He must do something to saveher.
And in his mustness of,mustness, is that a word?
In his inability to trust, heruins everything.
And the same thing happens tohis son, Luke Skywalker.
He can't trust that things willturn out okay with his friends.
(28:56):
And he ends up trying to savethem, just like his father did
with his wife.
He tries to save his friendsand he fails.
He loses his hand and he sortof goes backwards in his
teachings.
And then again, later in hislife, his nephew...
If you've seen the sequeltrilogy, they have problems.
(29:17):
They could have been muchbetter, and I won't digress into
that.
But there's something really,really profound in Star Wars
Episode VIII, which a lot ofpeople hate.
It's called The Last Jedi.
Me personally, that was myfavorite of the new trilogy
because the center theme of itwas about failure.
And the biggest failure in thefilm is Luke Skywalker with his
(29:42):
nephew, Kylo Ren, or Ben, ashe's called in the film.
And Luke Skywalker has visionsof his nephew becoming evil and
joining forces with Snoke, who'skind of like a fill-in for the
Emperor from the original films.
And in his panic, in his worry,in his need for control, he
(30:05):
decides, I'm going to kill mynephew because he had visions of
all the horrible things thathis nephew would do.
So he says, I'm going to takecontrol and kill him.
And in his madness, as he'sjust about to bring his saber
down and end his life, He has amoment of clarity and he
realizes he's gone mad.
(30:27):
But by then it's too late.
His nephew has seen him takeaction against him and he
fulfills the prophecy in his ownmind, his own worry, and
becomes the very evil thing thatLuke was trying to stop.
So what I'm getting at here inthe Star Wars series is that
both Anakin and his son Luke arefearing an outcome.
(30:49):
They take control to stop itand in so doing, they make sure
that that outcome is whatactually happens.
When all they had to do was bestill and leave it to the course
of things.
Now, I'm not advocating thatall of us live passively, but
it's like the Fred Rogers quoteat the beginning of this
(31:12):
episode.
Like he said, it's thestillness, it's the space
between words that allows us tomake better decisions.
And this is tying into what Iwanted to talk about, which is
also habits and breaking ourhabits.
We do the same thing withhabits.
(31:32):
So like me wanting to change mydiet and eat healthier, it felt
like something I had toconfront, like an enemy.
to break this bad habit andforce myself.
If I could just get throughthree weeks of good, healthy
eating, I'll have forced my wayinto a healthy habit.
But again and again, I keptfailing or wanting to quit
(31:54):
cannabis or caffeine or energydrinks or whatever it is.
You know, play less videogames, be more present with my
family.
The only way that I'm going togo about those things is by
cultivating a still peace withinmyself.
essentially by craving ordesiring the state of stillness
(32:17):
versus distraction.
We don't change by fightingwhat we're feeling or running
from it, but being with it insilence and contemplation.
So this is going to be a majortheme of this side series with
updates today.
You know, those listening,Patreon followers, if you want
(32:39):
to let me know things or habitsthat you're trying to change as
well, you know, we can do littleweekly updates with each other.
We can engage with each otherin Discord and maybe help hold
each other accountable, butultimately to have compassion on
ourselves and others when wefail at changing these habits.
We're moving towards the finishline here, but I wanted to read
(33:02):
a quote from the Buddha.
As I abided thus...
Diligent, ardent, and resolute,a thought of sensual desire
arose in me.
I understood thus, this thoughtof sensual desire has arisen in
me.
This leads to my ownaffliction, to others'
(33:22):
affliction, and to theaffliction of both.
It obstructs wisdom, causesdifficulties, and leads away
from nirvana.
What I considered nirvana Thisleads to my own affliction.
It subsided in me.
When I considered this leads toothers' affliction, it subsided
(33:43):
in me.
When I considered this leads tothe affliction of both, it
subsided in me.
And when I considered thisobstructs wisdom, causes
difficulties, and leads awayfrom nirvana, it subsided in me.
Whenever a thought of sensualdesire arose in me, I abandoned
(34:05):
it, removed it, did away withit.
Just as in the last month ofthe hot season, when all the
crops have been brought insidethe villages, a cowherd would
guard his cows while staying atthe root of a tree or out in the
open, since he needs only to bemindful that the cows are
there.
So too, there was a need for meonly to be mindful when those
(34:30):
states were there.
Tireless energy was aroused inme and unremitted mindfulness
was established.
My body was tranquil anduntroubled, my mind concentrated
and unified.
In our practice of abidingardent, clearly knowing and
mindful, we learned to find theappropriate balance between
(34:51):
active and receptive.
doing and non-doing.
You see how that reflects tothe Tao Te Ching poem I read
earlier?
What the Buddha is saying hereis that you don't need to force
your thoughts away.
You simply need to be aware ofthem.
(35:12):
So if the desire arises in you,let me give you an example of I
had, what was it, about twoweeks ago when I was in the
process of eating less and justnaturally liking that healthier
feeling and state of mind, Iactually had the desire to go
eat a frozen pizza that I hadpurchased.
(35:32):
And my wife had put a pictureof our daughter when she was
only a few months old, and it isthe most Beautiful picture of
her.
She's like staring into thecamera lens with that perfectly
innocent stare with her two eyessort of looking at you like
Puss in Boots from Shrek withthose, you know big eyes, you
(35:56):
know and it it made me reflecton what the Buddha said here
where he says When I consideredthis leads to others'
affliction, it subsided in me.
So I had the desire to go eatsomething unhealthy, and then
that picture reminded me that mebeing unhealthier is going to
(36:16):
affect my daughter.
What if I have a heart attack?
What would that do to mydaughter if I didn't live a full
healthy life or at least thebest of my ability?
Or what about if I have a moresluggish mind and I'm less
inclined to go play with her andmy kids outside or whatever, to
not be the best me?
(36:36):
And it doesn't mean I need tohold myself to some unrealistic
standard, but anytime we aretempted with something that
perhaps is not as wholesome asit could be, we can reflect on
how will this affect myself andhow will this affect others in
(36:57):
my life that I love, my wife, mykids, you know, whoever's in
your life.
So again, we don't change ourhabits by fighting them or what
we're feeling or running fromthem by a drink at the end of
the day or a smoke or...
this or that distraction, wechange by being with it in
(37:24):
silence and contemplation.
So if you guys can suggest someclever title for this perhaps
breaking habits side series, Iwould love to hear what you guys
have in mind.
I'll be posting them as I goalong.
I am down to about 214, 215 nowand I'll keep you posted as I
(37:44):
go.
Maybe later if I'm brave, I'lldo some before and after photos
or maybe we'll have a Discordchat room for people looking to
change habits where we can sortof come together as a group and
say, you know, my name's Billand I'm struggling with this and
this is where I'm going.
(38:05):
And there's no judgment.
Because it's not easy to changehabits.
We're creatures of habit.
So that is going to do it fortoday's episode, guys.
I'll let you know how things gowith my habit changes and with
the car repair and hopefullymaking my bills on time.
If you would like to supportthe podcast, please follow or
(38:29):
subscribe on whichever appyou're in.
Leave a, perhaps a review.
I'd love to hear from you andyour comments.
You can also support us bygoing to patreon.com slash
standing nowhere podcast.
You can also leave me feedbackdirectly at standing nowhere
podcast at gmail.com.
(38:49):
And I'd love to connect withyou.
I'd love for you to be a partof this show and perhaps share
your story over the air.
But I am very grateful to allof you for listening to me talk
your ear off for this past 40minutes.
And I'm grateful for thiscreative project because my goal
(39:11):
here is to be accountable andvulnerable with you guys.
share what it means to behuman, talk about how we can
cultivate mindfulness and wakingup on a day-to-day basis.
So thank you.
Much gratitude for you forlistening.
This has been Standing Nowhere.
I'm your host, Jake, andblessings to all.
(39:35):
This voice might feel like duston the dial But I'm standing
nowhere and I've been for awhile No heroes, no headlines,
no promises made Just a whisperthat won't be afraid like home
(40:15):
No flats to wait No need to roamThe silence speaks louder than
war ever could And I've neverfelt so understood The static is
(40:41):
kind to follow no king on thethrone the sky's turning amber
the clock's all reset and Ihaven't stopped walking just yet
(41:11):
standing nowhere air wide andfree Chains no name, no destiny
The road dissolves, the skyturns white I'm still here,
(41:37):
nothing
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