January 22, 2025 • 28 mins
Can spiritual direction truly facilitate a transformative journey of self-discovery? Join me on Starseed Evolution as we explore this powerful practice, also known as spiritual companioning, which offers a nurturing space for navigating life's ever-changing landscape. From the joy of new beginnings to the challenges of unexpected turns, spiritual direction provides a haven for reflecting on personal growth. By embracing a multitude of faith styles, including interfaith approaches, we ensure that this journey resonates deeply with each individual. Discover how spiritual direction goes beyond spirituality to touch on diverse aspects of life such as aging, relationships, health, and career. Importantly, we clarify how it differs from psychological counseling, emphasizing that while they may occasionally intersect, spiritual direction is not a substitute for professional mental health support.
In this episode, I share a poignant story about my dear friend Sandy and her dog Sophie, illustrating the significance of discernment in managing complex emotional decisions. Through the lens of spiritual direction, we explore how to process grief and emotions thoughtfully, fostering respect and understanding in difficult situations. As we consider the development of spiritual practices, the conversation extends to the importance of whether to embark on this journey alone, within a community, or as a blend of both. This episode invites you to harness the wisdom and insight of the cosmos, enriching your path of personal and spiritual growth with tools and perspectives that can illuminate your way forward.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hi, thank you so much for joining me today.
I'm Shannon and this isStarseed Evolution, bringing the
wisdom and insight of thecosmos to you.
I'm grateful that you'relistening.
In today's episode we'll betalking about spiritual
(00:22):
direction, what it is and why wemight want to connect with a
spiritual director in our ownlife.
I have been working inspiritual direction in both
one-on-one as well as group orcommunity settings and workshops
for the past 15 years now.
(00:44):
Spiritual direction, orspiritual companioning as it's
beginning to be shifted into asfar as language, is the art of
accompanying a person on theirjourney into deeper
self-discovery.
We as people are alwaysevolving, growing, changing,
(01:07):
transforming, and these changescan sometimes be by choice or
sometimes it can be thrust uponus through different things that
we go through that shift usinto having to change the
direction that we're going inlife, into having to change the
(01:28):
direction that we're going inlife.
Sometimes the changes can be awanted and welcome part of our
life, and other times it canfeel sorrowful or angry about
the direction things are going.
Life definitely is never staticand through these shifts, our
own viewpoints of the world mayalso shift and change in ways
(01:51):
that we didn't expect, which canbring moments of aha or moments
where there is sadness andlearning to understand how this
change can affect and grow usand how we can either evolve
from it or allow it to hold usback.
(02:13):
The act of engaging actively inspiritual direction allows
people to feel seen, heard, andalso allows them to deepen the
questions of what they're goingthrough, to help them understand
and reflect on all the thingshappening in life.
(02:35):
It might also bring upperspectives about things that
we hadn't thought of before,which is part of the process of
evolution.
So, as you're listening to this, the question in your own mind
might be well, is spiritualdirection faith-based, being
(02:56):
that it has the word spiritualin it, and this is a very good
question.
The answer is and this is avery good question the answer is
well, it all depends on you.
It depends on each person andtheir own way of seeking in
their life.
It depends also on thespiritual director that the
(03:17):
person is sitting with as well.
I myself am what is called aninterfaith spiritual director.
I have an openness to seeingspirituality in the world
through energy and holding alltypes of faith styles in the
present moment and allowing themto be, whether we're talking
(03:40):
the Celtic pagan tradition,whether we're talking the Celtic
pagan tradition, buddhism,christianity, judaism, being
Baha'i or Sufi or Muslim, orbeing an atheist All of these
(04:00):
are styles in which we engagethe world, and it doesn't always
have to be one of theseabsolute paths.
It can be many things woventogether.
So then the question would befor the person sitting with a
spiritual director what is theirown faith style, what are they
comfortable with?
(04:20):
And in the end, it would be upto them to interview the
spiritual director to see ifthat is someone that is
compatible with them.
And we don't have to practiceour spirituality in the same way
in order to sit with each other.
I can sit with an open heartand listen and guide through
(04:44):
open-ended questions withwhomever I'm sitting with, as
long as we're honoring eachother and holding space,
allowing each person orcommunity to be vulnerable,
uncertain, with the ability togain self-awareness and clarity
(05:05):
through this type of slowevolving and listening.
Just as cosmic or universaltime is not linear, neither is
the internal, soul-guidedjourney of discovery.
The important part of thedynamic is that both people feel
at home working with each otheron this journey.
(05:28):
So another question that youmight ask is what types of
topics are brought forward inspiritual direction.
Is it just about spiritualityand faith?
My answer is no.
It's my belief that all topicsthat humans face in their life
(05:52):
can be approached from aspiritually directed place.
For example, there might bespiritual direction around the
topic of aging.
As I shift and change and gothrough transformations, either
from being a teen to a youngadult, being a young adult or
moving into my 30s, moving frommy 30s and beginning to shift
(06:16):
and change health-wise into my40s, moving into my 50s and 60s
and seeing how life evolves andchange through age.
So aging is an important topic.
Love and relationships come upin spiritual direction for you
to explore yourself and see whattypes of relationships are
(06:39):
important to you, how lovemanifests and the questions to
ask.
We can also see health changesin our life as things that we
might need to move intospiritual direction about when
our health is compromised or ourhealth changes.
(07:00):
This can make us feel sometimesunsure about our path, and so
spiritual direction allows us tomove deeper into those
questions.
Questions around work andcareer, questions around our own
consciousness, questions aroundhow we move with scientific
(07:22):
discovery, questions aroundtransition into passing and
death, questions aroundcreativity and self-expression
these can bring up a lot ofthings inside of us, around
childhood or around our ownself-doubt, or things that we
(07:42):
want to work on so that we canmore fully express ourselves,
and so there is no topic thatcannot be approached from a
spiritual vantage point.
Spiritual direction is about aspace of not holding judgment
(08:04):
and instead being able toreflect, grow and contemplate
old ways of being, new, ways ofshifting, why we hold some of
the beliefs we do.
Do we want to keep those orbegin to change them?
Are they hurting us or thosearound us, or how can we help
(08:27):
ourselves into new spaces ofgrowing and becoming?
Another question that sometimescomes up around spiritual
direction is this one Is it thesame as psychology or being in
counseling or going to therapy?
(08:48):
And the short answer is no.
Now the longer answer is thisthe borders between these two,
because the topics can also comeup in counseling appointments
that come up in spiritualdirection.
However, not all spiritualdirectors are licensed
(09:10):
professional counselors orpsychologists.
This does not give us, aspiritual director, the right to
work on someone's mental healthadvice or therapy, and so if I
see that during a session,things are moving into a space
that might be more psychologicalor mentally based, and that the
(09:36):
person I'm working with needs alittle bit more assistance than
I can give, I might refer thisperson to a therapist or a
professional counselor.
We can do both types ofsessions.
I have quite a few clients thatwork with me in spiritual
direction but then also meetwith a licensed professional
(09:59):
counselor as well, and so aslong as we're staying on the
same page with one another, thenthis can be a wonderful adjunct
for each other.
So, now that we've talked alittle bit about spiritual
direction and some of thequestions around it, I'd like to
go a little bit more personal,and another question might be
(10:23):
how did I get into the field ofspiritual direction?
And that is a fun andinteresting story, because it
definitely was not in my radar.
Speaking of ways things can popup and shift us into new
directions, back in 2009, I wasworking as a massage therapist,
(10:49):
cranial sacral therapist andReiki master teacher, and had
been doing so for about 10 years.
At that point, besides thetraditional work that I do in
the field, I also like toexplore growth of a personal
kind through creativity, so inthe evenings, I was also taking
(11:11):
a writing class.
This class was in person and itwas an eight-week session and
we'd meet once a week and havedifferent writing exercises that
we would do.
There were about 15 people inthe class plus the instructor,
who was a professional writer.
(11:33):
In this particular class wewere focusing on creative style,
so working on setting and voiceand tone, setting and voice and
tone.
So we'd have differentexercises each week in which to
practice these different writingtechniques.
Each time we would meet wewould bring the exercise that we
(11:54):
were working on to the classwith us and have enough copies
to be able to pass out toeverybody in class and we'd all
read each other's work and thenprovide feedback and critique
along with the teacher.
So about four weeks into theclass, the night before I went
(12:16):
to print my assignment and myprinter wasn't working and I
thought well, the next daybefore I go to class in the
evening, I can stop by a localshop that had copy machines and
make enough copies to take toclass with me.
The next day after work andbefore heading to writing class,
(12:36):
I stopped at the copy place.
As I stepped into the shop inorder to make the copies, it was
like stepping into thechildren's story Goldilocks and
the Three Bears, the firstcopier that I went to, I noticed
that it was quite expensive todo the self copies.
(12:59):
Then I noticed it was a colorcopier and thought.
Then I noticed it was a colorcopier and thought, nope, that
one's not right.
Then I moved to the next copymachine and it was broken.
So nope, that one wasn't righteither.
Then I moved to the next copymachine and this one was black
(13:25):
and white and inexpensive andjust right.
I took my assignment and Iopened the lid of the copy
machine and before I could placeit on the face of the copier, I
saw that there was anotherpiece of paper sitting on the
face of the copy machine.
When I picked up that piece ofpaper to look at it, it was the
application to TachiriaInterfaith School of Spiritual
(13:49):
Direction.
Well, I started laughingbecause I said okay, spirit, I
get your hint, and I didn't takeit with me.
Instead, because I'm at amachine and who knows, whoever
left it might come back for it.
I thought I will make a copy ofit.
(14:10):
So I made a copy of theapplication along with the
assignment for writing.
Class After class that night Iwent home and I filled out the
application and sent it in Soon.
After that I had an interviewwith the program and then
started in September of thatsame year, 2009.
(14:34):
Now I'd like to share about oneof the keystones of spiritual
direction, which is the worddiscernment.
Discernment plays a big part inspiritual direction.
Discernment is the act ofarriving at a solution to
(14:55):
challenges that might arisearound us.
The solutions that come up areindividual for each person or
community, because each of ushas different ways of solving
the things that come up aroundus.
And arriving at solutionssometimes is a process.
(15:16):
It doesn't happen all at onceor immediately.
A spiritual director companionsa spiritual director companions
a person on their journey toask questions that allow someone
else to engage with their owninternal dialogue so that they
arrive at their own answers.
(15:36):
Discernment is also the processof taking in the bigger picture.
We don't make choices to ourchallenges in a bubble.
We're taking in our ownnarrative inside of ourselves,
also the relationship we have tothe people around us.
It's also important that webegin to see through the eyes of
(16:01):
others that we are in circlewith in life.
The sphere of our own self isin constant contact with the
spheres or circle of thosepeople who are around us.
That doesn't mean this is aboutpleasing someone else just to
(16:22):
avoid conflict.
Instead, someone else just toavoid conflict.
Instead, it's just learning tounderstand how people view
things differently.
Discernment is also aboutgaining clarity about the
intention of our own direction.
Instead, it's living into thequestions and seeing, through
(16:43):
exploration, where they guide us.
I'd like to share anotherpersonal story, this one more in
connection to how spiritualdirection can work, the
questions that come up throughdiscernment, that take us
through the process of what itmeans to find an internal answer
(17:06):
that feels appropriate toourselves through different
challenges that we face.
So I'll give you the differentpeople that are involved in this
personal story of mine and thenshare the story and how I
discerned and came through withan answer that felt right for me
(17:27):
.
That felt right for me.
The first person in the storyis myself, the second person is
my friend Sandy, and the thirdis not a person but her dog,
sophie.
Now I've changed the names ofSandy and Sophie in this story
(17:48):
so as to be mindful.
This particular story happenedat least 15 or 16 years ago.
At the time, my friend Sandywas an executive in a position
where she had to travel a lotfor work.
At the same time, I myself,besides working with clients, I
(18:15):
also did pet sitting as well ashouse sitting.
On the side, my friend Sandyneeded someone to both watch
Sophie, her dog, and also takecare of the house when she was
gone.
The days that Sandy might begone for a trip for work might
(18:35):
be anywhere from a few days to acouple weeks, and sometimes in
the summer it could be as longas 30 days.
All of this I was able to doand stay at her house, taking
care of the house and alsogetting the opportunity to
become best friends with her dog, sophie, whom I loved very much
(18:58):
.
I knew Sandy and Sophie for thelength of Sophie's life, up to
about 12 years, and so it becameas if Sandy's dog.
Sophie was one of my friends,one of my companions, who I
loved very much.
Near the end of Sophie's life,when she began to have more
(19:22):
health problems, I would makesure to take care of her when
Sandy was out of town, butsometimes Sandy would come home
and have to take Sophie to manydifferent veterinary treatments.
Because of the bond that Ishared with Sandy and Sophie,
they felt as if they were bothpart of my own personal family.
(19:47):
Now.
One day I was at work at anacupuncture clinic where I was
working as a massage therapistand also doing Reiki energy
healing, and would work inadjunct with the acupuncturist.
One day I came out of a sessionwith a client and picked up my
(20:10):
phone to check any messages ortexts that might have come
through from either clients orfriends or family.
When I opened the phone, therewas a text message from Sandy
and she had indicated that shehad had to take Sophie to the
veterinarian and that Sophie hadbeen euthanized.
(20:35):
There were so many differentemotions that were wrapped into
receiving this text.
The first emotion was grief.
Grief that Sophie was gone, myfriend who I love so much.
The next grief that came up wasSandy sadness that she had had
(21:01):
to make that decision for Sophie.
The next emotion that came upwas my own emotion around
receiving the text message,because I wanted to have
received maybe a phone call orto have known that Sandy was
(21:24):
taking Sophie in before ithappened rather than after the
fact.
So all these different emotionswere coming up at once.
Also, you'll find over time andI've talked a little bit about
it, but I'll talk about it morein future episodes is that I'm
(21:45):
also highly empathic andsensitive, and so finding out
about Sophie's passing through atext was jarring to me as well.
And, needless to say, I lost itand so I was outside crying.
So because I've done a lot ofspiritual direction for myself
(22:08):
with my own spiritual director,as well as sitting with others
in spiritual direction, I knewnot to go into the emotions and
reach out to Sandy with all thethings that were moving through
my head at the time.
I knew that because I was sotriggered that it was important
(22:30):
for me to meet with my ownspiritual director to walk
through this process and findout what I actually needed to do
with the information.
I wanted to honor Sandy's grief.
I wanted to honor my own griefof losing Sophie.
I wanted to honor my friend'sdecision, but I also wanted to
(22:53):
honor that I was upset as well.
So you can see how complex thisis and sometimes that initial
reaction is our own personaljourney.
So if we can walk through thesethings with a spiritual
director, maybe we can mitigatesome of that emotion and then
(23:15):
choose the best way to addressthe feelings that are coming up
without dumping on the personacross from us was that Sandy is
the owner of Sophie.
The second thing I discerned isthat I was a close friend of
(23:36):
Sandy and Sophie.
The next thing I discerned wasthat I also had a bond with
Sophie, and so of course, I wasfeeling sad.
Then I also discerned is thissomething that I should share
with Sandy about how I wasfeeling Now, because Sandy and I
(23:58):
had been friends for a longtime.
I knew some of her personalbackground with her family, and
so, sitting through discernmentand looking at the situation
through her eyes, I could seethat Sandy needed things to be a
little bit more calm, and so Iknow that if she had told me
(24:22):
that she was taking Sophie, Imight have cried or had a big
emotional response or had a bigemotional response, and this in
and of itself might have beentoo much for Sandy to hold space
for when she was also having tomake this decision about having
Sophie euthanized.
(24:44):
And so it might have been toomuch to have to handle her own
grief of losing Sophie at thesame time as holding my grief
for also losing Sophie.
And so I began to see from thatfuller perspective.
I realized that this might havebeen the only direction that
(25:08):
Sandy could go was making thechoice for Sophie, taking her to
the vet and then texting meafterward.
Through spiritual direction anddiscernment, I could go home,
sit with it, grieve Sophie'sloss and allow the situation to
(25:28):
be just as it was and not makeit different and continue to be
in friendship with Sandy.
And then, because I also havedifferent spiritual practices, I
created my own way of sayinggoodbye to Sophie by going to
the park that she and I used togo for walks at and that I could
(25:51):
say goodbye to her in my ownway.
And so, taking all of thesecomplexities, I didn't have to
then put my friend Sandy in anawkward position in which she
already had a lot on her plate.
A lot on her plate.
Now, through this story, what Iwant to say is just because this
(26:14):
was my process, these were theanswers that I came to for
myself.
That does not mean that this isthe answer for each one of you.
That might be in differentsituations where things come up,
the approach I took might notbe the approach that you take,
(26:34):
and that's okay too.
That's what spiritual directionis about is about opening those
questions, walking the path,listening for the answers and
making choices from thatinformed place versus out of
being in reaction.
This is why spiritual directioncan be such a wonderful tool in
(26:59):
the evolution of our heart,mind and soul here on this earth
, where there aren't just oneright answer to every situation.
There aren't just one rightanswer to every situation.
(27:19):
I'd like to thank you so muchfor joining me today for our
episode where we talked aboutwhat spiritual direction is,
what spiritual direction isn't,what things can be approached in
spiritual direction, how it'simportant as a part of our life
in order to come to deeperspiritual wisdom about our own
paths.
And, just as I shared not onlyhow I became a spiritual
(27:43):
director, but also a personalexperience about using spiritual
direction a personal experienceabout using spiritual direction
In the future, I'll also besharing more episodes about
using the tool of discernment toponder many different important
questions that might come up inlife.
In our next episode, we'll betalking about the importance of
(28:09):
developing a spiritual practicefor ourselves.
A spiritual practice can beeither an individual practice
that we do daily.
It can be something that we dothat's community-based, or we
might have a spiritual practicethat is a combination both of
(28:30):
our individual self as well asconnecting with communities,
either in person or online.
Thank you again for being herewith me today.
I'm Shannon and you'relistening to Starseed Evolution,
and I hope you have an awesomeweek, namaste.
Hi, thank you so much for joining me today.
I'm Shannon and this isStarseed Evolution, bringing the
wisdom and insight of thecosmos to you.
I'm grateful that you'relistening.
In today's episode we'll betalking about spiritual
(00:22):
direction, what it is and why wemight want to connect with a
spiritual director in our ownlife.
I have been working inspiritual direction in both
one-on-one as well as group orcommunity settings and workshops
for the past 15 years now.
(00:44):
Spiritual direction, orspiritual companioning as it's
beginning to be shifted into asfar as language, is the art of
accompanying a person on theirjourney into deeper
self-discovery.
We as people are alwaysevolving, growing, changing,
(01:07):
transforming, and these changescan sometimes be by choice or
sometimes it can be thrust uponus through different things that
we go through that shift usinto having to change the
direction that we're going inlife, into having to change the
(01:28):
direction that we're going inlife.
Sometimes the changes can be awanted and welcome part of our
life, and other times it canfeel sorrowful or angry about
the direction things are going.
Life definitely is never staticand through these shifts, our
own viewpoints of the world mayalso shift and change in ways
(01:51):
that we didn't expect, which canbring moments of aha or moments
where there is sadness andlearning to understand how this
change can affect and grow usand how we can either evolve
from it or allow it to hold usback.
(02:13):
The act of engaging actively inspiritual direction allows
people to feel seen, heard, andalso allows them to deepen the
questions of what they're goingthrough, to help them understand
and reflect on all the thingshappening in life.
(02:35):
It might also bring upperspectives about things that
we hadn't thought of before,which is part of the process of
evolution.
So, as you're listening to this, the question in your own mind
might be well, is spiritualdirection faith-based, being
(02:56):
that it has the word spiritualin it, and this is a very good
question.
The answer is and this is avery good question the answer is
well, it all depends on you.
It depends on each person andtheir own way of seeking in
their life.
It depends also on thespiritual director that the
(03:17):
person is sitting with as well.
I myself am what is called aninterfaith spiritual director.
I have an openness to seeingspirituality in the world
through energy and holding alltypes of faith styles in the
present moment and allowing themto be, whether we're talking
(03:40):
the Celtic pagan tradition,whether we're talking the Celtic
pagan tradition, buddhism,christianity, judaism, being
Baha'i or Sufi or Muslim, orbeing an atheist All of these
(04:00):
are styles in which we engagethe world, and it doesn't always
have to be one of theseabsolute paths.
It can be many things woventogether.
So then the question would befor the person sitting with a
spiritual director what is theirown faith style, what are they
comfortable with?
(04:20):
And in the end, it would be upto them to interview the
spiritual director to see ifthat is someone that is
compatible with them.
And we don't have to practiceour spirituality in the same way
in order to sit with each other.
I can sit with an open heartand listen and guide through
(04:44):
open-ended questions withwhomever I'm sitting with, as
long as we're honoring eachother and holding space,
allowing each person orcommunity to be vulnerable,
uncertain, with the ability togain self-awareness and clarity
(05:05):
through this type of slowevolving and listening.
Just as cosmic or universaltime is not linear, neither is
the internal, soul-guidedjourney of discovery.
The important part of thedynamic is that both people feel
at home working with each otheron this journey.
(05:28):
So another question that youmight ask is what types of
topics are brought forward inspiritual direction.
Is it just about spiritualityand faith?
My answer is no.
It's my belief that all topicsthat humans face in their life
(05:52):
can be approached from aspiritually directed place.
For example, there might bespiritual direction around the
topic of aging.
As I shift and change and gothrough transformations, either
from being a teen to a youngadult, being a young adult or
moving into my 30s, moving frommy 30s and beginning to shift
(06:16):
and change health-wise into my40s, moving into my 50s and 60s
and seeing how life evolves andchange through age.
So aging is an important topic.
Love and relationships come upin spiritual direction for you
to explore yourself and see whattypes of relationships are
(06:39):
important to you, how lovemanifests and the questions to
ask.
We can also see health changesin our life as things that we
might need to move intospiritual direction about when
our health is compromised or ourhealth changes.
(07:00):
This can make us feel sometimesunsure about our path, and so
spiritual direction allows us tomove deeper into those
questions.
Questions around work andcareer, questions around our own
consciousness, questions aroundhow we move with scientific
(07:22):
discovery, questions aroundtransition into passing and
death, questions aroundcreativity and self-expression
these can bring up a lot ofthings inside of us, around
childhood or around our ownself-doubt, or things that we
(07:42):
want to work on so that we canmore fully express ourselves,
and so there is no topic thatcannot be approached from a
spiritual vantage point.
Spiritual direction is about aspace of not holding judgment
(08:04):
and instead being able toreflect, grow and contemplate
old ways of being, new, ways ofshifting, why we hold some of
the beliefs we do.
Do we want to keep those orbegin to change them?
Are they hurting us or thosearound us, or how can we help
(08:27):
ourselves into new spaces ofgrowing and becoming?
Another question that sometimescomes up around spiritual
direction is this one Is it thesame as psychology or being in
counseling or going to therapy?
(08:48):
And the short answer is no.
Now the longer answer is thisthe borders between these two,
because the topics can also comeup in counseling appointments
that come up in spiritualdirection.
However, not all spiritualdirectors are licensed
(09:10):
professional counselors orpsychologists.
This does not give us, aspiritual director, the right to
work on someone's mental healthadvice or therapy, and so if I
see that during a session,things are moving into a space
that might be more psychologicalor mentally based, and that the
(09:36):
person I'm working with needs alittle bit more assistance than
I can give, I might refer thisperson to a therapist or a
professional counselor.
We can do both types ofsessions.
I have quite a few clients thatwork with me in spiritual
direction but then also meetwith a licensed professional
(09:59):
counselor as well, and so aslong as we're staying on the
same page with one another, thenthis can be a wonderful adjunct
for each other.
So, now that we've talked alittle bit about spiritual
direction and some of thequestions around it, I'd like to
go a little bit more personal,and another question might be
(10:23):
how did I get into the field ofspiritual direction?
And that is a fun andinteresting story, because it
definitely was not in my radar.
Speaking of ways things can popup and shift us into new
directions, back in 2009, I wasworking as a massage therapist,
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cranial sacral therapist andReiki master teacher, and had
been doing so for about 10 years.
At that point, besides thetraditional work that I do in
the field, I also like toexplore growth of a personal
kind through creativity, so inthe evenings, I was also taking
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a writing class.
This class was in person and itwas an eight-week session and
we'd meet once a week and havedifferent writing exercises that
we would do.
There were about 15 people inthe class plus the instructor,
who was a professional writer.
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In this particular class wewere focusing on creative style,
so working on setting and voiceand tone, setting and voice and
tone.
So we'd have differentexercises each week in which to
practice these different writingtechniques.
Each time we would meet wewould bring the exercise that we
(11:54):
were working on to the classwith us and have enough copies
to be able to pass out toeverybody in class and we'd all
read each other's work and thenprovide feedback and critique
along with the teacher.
So about four weeks into theclass, the night before I went
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to print my assignment and myprinter wasn't working and I
thought well, the next daybefore I go to class in the
evening, I can stop by a localshop that had copy machines and
make enough copies to take toclass with me.
The next day after work andbefore heading to writing class,
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I stopped at the copy place.
As I stepped into the shop inorder to make the copies, it was
like stepping into thechildren's story Goldilocks and
the Three Bears, the firstcopier that I went to, I noticed
that it was quite expensive todo the self copies.
(12:59):
Then I noticed it was a colorcopier and thought.
Then I noticed it was a colorcopier and thought, nope, that
one's not right.
Then I moved to the next copymachine and it was broken.
So nope, that one wasn't righteither.
Then I moved to the next copymachine and this one was black
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and white and inexpensive andjust right.
I took my assignment and Iopened the lid of the copy
machine and before I could placeit on the face of the copier, I
saw that there was anotherpiece of paper sitting on the
face of the copy machine.
When I picked up that piece ofpaper to look at it, it was the
application to TachiriaInterfaith School of Spiritual
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Direction.
Well, I started laughingbecause I said okay, spirit, I
get your hint, and I didn't takeit with me.
Instead, because I'm at amachine and who knows, whoever
left it might come back for it.
I thought I will make a copy ofit.
(14:10):
So I made a copy of theapplication along with the
assignment for writing.
Class After class that night Iwent home and I filled out the
application and sent it in Soon.
After that I had an interviewwith the program and then
started in September of thatsame year, 2009.
(14:34):
Now I'd like to share about oneof the keystones of spiritual
direction, which is the worddiscernment.
Discernment plays a big part inspiritual direction.
Discernment is the act ofarriving at a solution to
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challenges that might arisearound us.
The solutions that come up areindividual for each person or
community, because each of ushas different ways of solving
the things that come up aroundus.
And arriving at solutionssometimes is a process.
(15:16):
It doesn't happen all at onceor immediately.
A spiritual director companionsa spiritual director companions
a person on their journey toask questions that allow someone
else to engage with their owninternal dialogue so that they
arrive at their own answers.
(15:36):
Discernment is also the processof taking in the bigger picture.
We don't make choices to ourchallenges in a bubble.
We're taking in our ownnarrative inside of ourselves,
also the relationship we have tothe people around us.
It's also important that webegin to see through the eyes of
(16:01):
others that we are in circlewith in life.
The sphere of our own self isin constant contact with the
spheres or circle of thosepeople who are around us.
That doesn't mean this is aboutpleasing someone else just to
(16:22):
avoid conflict.
Instead, someone else just toavoid conflict.
Instead, it's just learning tounderstand how people view
things differently.
Discernment is also aboutgaining clarity about the
intention of our own direction.
Instead, it's living into thequestions and seeing, through
(16:43):
exploration, where they guide us.
I'd like to share anotherpersonal story, this one more in
connection to how spiritualdirection can work, the
questions that come up throughdiscernment, that take us
through the process of what itmeans to find an internal answer
(17:06):
that feels appropriate toourselves through different
challenges that we face.
So I'll give you the differentpeople that are involved in this
personal story of mine and thenshare the story and how I
discerned and came through withan answer that felt right for me
(17:27):
.
That felt right for me.
The first person in the storyis myself, the second person is
my friend Sandy, and the thirdis not a person but her dog,
sophie.
Now I've changed the names ofSandy and Sophie in this story
(17:48):
so as to be mindful.
This particular story happenedat least 15 or 16 years ago.
At the time, my friend Sandywas an executive in a position
where she had to travel a lotfor work.
At the same time, I myself,besides working with clients, I
(18:15):
also did pet sitting as well ashouse sitting.
On the side, my friend Sandyneeded someone to both watch
Sophie, her dog, and also takecare of the house when she was
gone.
The days that Sandy might begone for a trip for work might
(18:35):
be anywhere from a few days to acouple weeks, and sometimes in
the summer it could be as longas 30 days.
All of this I was able to doand stay at her house, taking
care of the house and alsogetting the opportunity to
become best friends with her dog, sophie, whom I loved very much
(18:58):
.
I knew Sandy and Sophie for thelength of Sophie's life, up to
about 12 years, and so it becameas if Sandy's dog.
Sophie was one of my friends,one of my companions, who I
loved very much.
Near the end of Sophie's life,when she began to have more
(19:22):
health problems, I would makesure to take care of her when
Sandy was out of town, butsometimes Sandy would come home
and have to take Sophie to manydifferent veterinary treatments.
Because of the bond that Ishared with Sandy and Sophie,
they felt as if they were bothpart of my own personal family.
(19:47):
Now.
One day I was at work at anacupuncture clinic where I was
working as a massage therapistand also doing Reiki energy
healing, and would work inadjunct with the acupuncturist.
One day I came out of a sessionwith a client and picked up my
(20:10):
phone to check any messages ortexts that might have come
through from either clients orfriends or family.
When I opened the phone, therewas a text message from Sandy
and she had indicated that shehad had to take Sophie to the
veterinarian and that Sophie hadbeen euthanized.
(20:35):
There were so many differentemotions that were wrapped into
receiving this text.
The first emotion was grief.
Grief that Sophie was gone, myfriend who I love so much.
The next grief that came up wasSandy sadness that she had had
(21:01):
to make that decision for Sophie.
The next emotion that came upwas my own emotion around
receiving the text message,because I wanted to have
received maybe a phone call orto have known that Sandy was
(21:24):
taking Sophie in before ithappened rather than after the
fact.
So all these different emotionswere coming up at once.
Also, you'll find over time andI've talked a little bit about
it, but I'll talk about it morein future episodes is that I'm
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also highly empathic andsensitive, and so finding out
about Sophie's passing through atext was jarring to me as well.
And, needless to say, I lost itand so I was outside crying.
So because I've done a lot ofspiritual direction for myself
(22:08):
with my own spiritual director,as well as sitting with others
in spiritual direction, I knewnot to go into the emotions and
reach out to Sandy with all thethings that were moving through
my head at the time.
I knew that because I was sotriggered that it was important
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for me to meet with my ownspiritual director to walk
through this process and findout what I actually needed to do
with the information.
I wanted to honor Sandy's grief.
I wanted to honor my own griefof losing Sophie.
I wanted to honor my friend'sdecision, but I also wanted to
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honor that I was upset as well.
So you can see how complex thisis and sometimes that initial
reaction is our own personaljourney.
So if we can walk through thesethings with a spiritual
director, maybe we can mitigatesome of that emotion and then
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choose the best way to addressthe feelings that are coming up
without dumping on the personacross from us was that Sandy is
the owner of Sophie.
The second thing I discerned isthat I was a close friend of
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Sandy and Sophie.
The next thing I discerned wasthat I also had a bond with
Sophie, and so of course, I wasfeeling sad.
Then I also discerned is thissomething that I should share
with Sandy about how I wasfeeling Now, because Sandy and I
(23:58):
had been friends for a longtime.
I knew some of her personalbackground with her family, and
so, sitting through discernmentand looking at the situation
through her eyes, I could seethat Sandy needed things to be a
little bit more calm, and so Iknow that if she had told me
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that she was taking Sophie, Imight have cried or had a big
emotional response or had a bigemotional response, and this in
and of itself might have beentoo much for Sandy to hold space
for when she was also having tomake this decision about having
Sophie euthanized.
(24:44):
And so it might have been toomuch to have to handle her own
grief of losing Sophie at thesame time as holding my grief
for also losing Sophie.
And so I began to see from thatfuller perspective.
I realized that this might havebeen the only direction that
(25:08):
Sandy could go was making thechoice for Sophie, taking her to
the vet and then texting meafterward.
Through spiritual direction anddiscernment, I could go home,
sit with it, grieve Sophie'sloss and allow the situation to
(25:28):
be just as it was and not makeit different and continue to be
in friendship with Sandy.
And then, because I also havedifferent spiritual practices, I
created my own way of sayinggoodbye to Sophie by going to
the park that she and I used togo for walks at and that I could
(25:51):
say goodbye to her in my ownway.
And so, taking all of thesecomplexities, I didn't have to
then put my friend Sandy in anawkward position in which she
already had a lot on her plate.
A lot on her plate.
Now, through this story, what Iwant to say is just because this
(26:14):
was my process, these were theanswers that I came to for
myself.
That does not mean that this isthe answer for each one of you.
That might be in differentsituations where things come up,
the approach I took might notbe the approach that you take,
(26:34):
and that's okay too.
That's what spiritual directionis about is about opening those
questions, walking the path,listening for the answers and
making choices from thatinformed place versus out of
being in reaction.
This is why spiritual directioncan be such a wonderful tool in
(26:59):
the evolution of our heart,mind and soul here on this earth
, where there aren't just oneright answer to every situation.
There aren't just one rightanswer to every situation.
(27:19):
I'd like to thank you so muchfor joining me today for our
episode where we talked aboutwhat spiritual direction is,
what spiritual direction isn't,what things can be approached in
spiritual direction, how it'simportant as a part of our life
in order to come to deeperspiritual wisdom about our own
paths.
And, just as I shared not onlyhow I became a spiritual
(27:43):
director, but also a personalexperience about using spiritual
direction a personal experienceabout using spiritual direction
In the future, I'll also besharing more episodes about
using the tool of discernment toponder many different important
questions that might come up inlife.
In our next episode, we'll betalking about the importance of
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developing a spiritual practicefor ourselves.
A spiritual practice can beeither an individual practice
that we do daily.
It can be something that we dothat's community-based, or we
might have a spiritual practicethat is a combination both of
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our individual self as well asconnecting with communities,
either in person or online.
Thank you again for being herewith me today.
I'm Shannon and you'relistening to Starseed Evolution,
and I hope you have an awesomeweek, namaste.
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