#22. Afraid to Relocate Because You'll Mess It Up? 4 Excuses Sabotaging Your Move & How To Overcome Them With Confidence. Expat Women

Have you ever felt a quiet longing to start over abroad… only to talk yourself out of it with fear, doubt, or “what if I fail?”

Before you pack a suitcase or book a one-way flight, there’s an emotional battle happening inside—and you’re not alone. In this heartfelt episode, Yolanda Reshemah pulls back the curtain on the most common fears that hold expat women back. Whether it’s fear of not being safe, not being strong enough, or not being ready, she names what so many of us feel—but rarely say out loud.

• In this episode you'll learn how to replace self-doubt with clarity, courage, and a plan that empowers you to finally say yes to your move abroad. 

Listen now to reclaim your courage, quiet the noise of doubt, and take one powerful step toward the life you’ve quietly dreamed about.

In this episode, you’ll uncover the hidden fears quietly holding you back—and learn how to replace self-doubt with clarity, courage, and a plan that empowers you to finally say yes to your move.

This heartfelt podcast explores the journey of expats and immigrant women chasing the American Dream, navigating cultural differences, overcoming homesickness, and striving to create a home away from home in the USA. Fears keeping you from moving abroad. Signs you're ready to move abroad. Is it safe to move to the USA.

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
we are having an honestconversation about what's really

(00:02):
holding you back fromrelocating?
What are the excuses and how canyou break free.
Welcome to starting over in theUSA, the Expat Woman's Guide to
overcoming homesickness,embracing cultural differences,
and creating a new home awayfrom home.
On this podcast, we talk aboutleaving behind the familiar, you

(00:25):
know, the pangs of homesicknessand culture shock to the
journeys of reinventingyourself.
I'm Yolanda Reshemah.
And after relocating six times,I know firsthand what it's like
to start from scratch, feelinglike both a foreign child and a
foreign adult in a new world.

(00:46):
In today's episode, we'retalking about something every
expat or immigrant woman faces,even before the suitcase is
packed, or the visa is stamped.
It's the excuses, the doubts,and the fears, first is the
security and safety issue.
Is it even safe to go right now?

(01:07):
Second what if I can't handleall the adulting?
The third what if I mess it up?
Final excuse is, how do peopleafford this?
You will discover life hacks andstrategies for dealing with
these and how you can take backcontrol and make decisions that
are right for you.

(01:29):
We're going to get real aboutthe invisible walls that stop so
many brave, brilliant women fromstarting over in another
country.
All the reasons we tellourselves why not now, why we
shouldn't do it Now, this is thewrong time.
The circumstances aren't right.
Why we shouldn't risk it, andyet buried beneath is often a

(01:51):
quiet longing that kind ofwhispers, what if you did it
anyway?
Within reason.
So whether you are stilldreaming about moving abroad or
you've already relocated and aretrying to make sense of your
decision, this episode is foryou.
Now.

(02:11):
I want you to hear me clearly.
These aren't silly fears.
They're not weaknesses.
These excuses, they're oftenrooted in very real concerns.
Concerns that are shaped by theworld we live in and the stories
we've told ourselves.
But today, I want to help yousee them for what they are.
Barriers that you can dismantleone courageous step at a time.

(02:36):
Within reason there's definitelypolitical strife and economic
strife, and the struggles goingon in so many countries that
feels out of our control,understandably and you do have
to pay attention to what'scoming out from the global
headlines and your gut instinctsas well.

(02:57):
We are not discounting those,but for the things that we can
manage, let's tackle those.
And the first is, let's talkabout safety.
Let's start with the one thingthat makes your stomach drop
when you scroll through thenews.
That is, is it even safe to moveto the US right now?

(03:18):
We've heard from schoolshootings to racial tensions to
polarized politics, theheadlines can be enough to shut
the door on your dreams,understandably, and it's fair to
pause and ask, am I going tofeel safe there?
You should ask yourself thatwherever you are going but let

(03:39):
me offer you this.
Safety isn't a country.
It's a strategy.
And when I say that I am notdiscounting the challenges that
so many people are experiencing,whether it's the US or anywhere
else in the world, you have gotto pay attention and consider
what's right for you.

(04:00):
Safety isn't a country.
It is a strategy.
It's where you live.
It's who you surround yourselfwith.
It's being informed, it's beingproactive and plugged in.
So wherever you find yourself,wherever you are considerably
moving to, and there are so manycountries around the world right

(04:20):
now that are consideredterribly, terribly safe.
But even in those environments,you still ought to have a safety
strategy about where you live,the people you need to surround
yourself with, how are you gonnastay informed and proactive and
plugged in?
So here are three life hacks, onmy experiences, based on what I

(04:44):
have done, but also what I didnot do.
The first is research yourcities and the neighborhoods
before you move.
This is where I fell down.
When my husband and I moved tothe us we knew we wanted to go
to the West coast, but we didnot research the neighborhoods

(05:05):
and the towns before we movedin.
We didn't realize that we wouldneed to, to understand who are
the people there, what's thetone and the style of life like
we looked at it through atourist's eyes.
Researching is so easy to doright now.
Get online, check out theneighborhoods.

(05:27):
Join forums, ask questions.
The second life hack is connectwith local immigrants and expat
forums.
The third ask women who'vealready made the move, what help
them to feel grounded and tofeel safe.

(05:47):
You just need enough security totake the next step, one after
another, and feel absolutelysecure about doing so.
The second excuse is the fear ofbeing fully responsible.
For example, what if I can'thandle this on my own?

(06:09):
The truth?
It will feel hard sometimes.
You are going to miss the easeof your old routine.
You'll miss knowing where to goand what to say and who to call,
but you are going to surpriseyourself.
You'll learn how to file forms.
You'll learn how to makedoctor's appointments.

(06:29):
You'll find your way throughairports and grocery stores and
job interviews, and it might bein a foreign language as well.
Here's your life hacks.
Three life hacks.
The first thing I learned to dowhen moving to the us moving to
France was to Build a checklistof first things that you need to
conquer.

(06:49):
I'm talking about bank accounts,phone plans, and apartments.
The second is ask for help.
I.
I mean it.
Ask that neighbor.
Ask the librarian.
Again, Find some online forums.
Ask them, go to the local coffeeshops.
I.
Ask the people around you.
And the third is that you shouldcelebrate small wins.

(07:12):
I've mentioned this before andI'm gonna keep coming back to it
because it's so important.
This is how you build confidencein yourself and feel able and
know that you are more thancapable.
The other excuse is what if Imess up?

(07:33):
The truth is that you will.
I did big time and so doeseverybody else.
You'll say the wrong words.
You'll get lost.
You'll fill out the wrong forms.
And guess what?
This is how you learn.
This is how I learn.
So here's your three life hacksin getting over this fear of

(07:56):
messing it up.
First thing is to keep a, I callit a funny failure journal, me,
but trust me, it'll be goldthree years on, when you read
through that and you look at thestuff that you've done, you are
going to laugh, but you're goingto look back at yourself and
consider, oh my gosh, look howfar I've come.

(08:19):
The second life hack is talk tosomebody who's a few years
ahead, ask them what they messedup on.
And that's why we are havingthese conversations with expat
and immigrant women who moved tothe US so many years ago.
They're telling us the thingsthat they messed up on, the
mistakes they made, assumptionsthey made so that you can hear

(08:44):
about it and learn from it.
And the third is that you reallyought to normalize your mistake.
Every stumble is proof that youare in motion, keep downloading
and listening to these chats weare having with expat and
immigrant women and men who havebeen living abroad for many

(09:06):
years and have made so manyerrors.
The last excuse that I'm goingto tackle in this episode is a
big one.
The big heavy fear of money.
What if I can't afford this?
It's a very valid concern andlet's not pretend otherwise, but

(09:29):
financial risk isn't a reason togive up.
It's a reason to plan wisely.
My husband and I planned I thinka good six months to a year well
in advance.
We knew when we were going tostart working and we knew the
length of time over which wewould need to cover ourselves

(09:52):
financially.
Your first of three life hats totackle the what if I can't
afford this?
Is to create a dream movebudget, including your visa
fees, your housing, and yourwhole transition expenses, and
then add 20% on top of thatbecause there's bound to be
stuff that pop up that you havenot planned for.

(10:18):
The second life hack is to startsmall, maybe try a short term
stay three months, six months,six weeks before you move for a
year or 10 years.
Also consider moving to a citywith lower cost of living.

(10:39):
And the last life hack if you'regoing to start a new business,
look for grants.
Consider the chances of youbeing eligible for those, but
also consider remote jobs thatcan travel with you so you have
a steady income.
You don't need to haveeverything figured out and even

(11:03):
in the perfect plan, you'll findthat you still do not have
everything figured out.
You just need a plan that youcan trust.
It's okay to feel cautious.
You absolutely should, but don'tlet fear silence your calling to
start over.
A new beginning doesn't ask forperfection.
You don't need to look forperfection.

(11:25):
Yes, be safe, but you need alsoto be willing otherwise, it will
never happen.
I think that's it from me today.
Thank you so much for joiningme.
I'm inviting you to downloadepisode 17.
Why pushing through cultureShock is toxic advice for expat

(11:46):
immigrant women.
I'm heading out right now for awalk in the park because summer
has finally arrived in England.
I'll see you in the nextepisode.
Bye-bye.