#24. 4 Strategies And How Expat & Immigrant Women Can Redefine Identity, Belonging, And Confidence In The USA

If you're a woman navigating a new country, especially the USA, and struggling with cultural differences, questioning your identity and if you belong, this episode offers you real tools to help you rebuild, reconnect, and rise. 

Learn how to overcome homesickness, rediscover your voice, and take bold action - even when you don't feel ready. Perfect for immigrant and expat women facing psychological transition.

Inside this raw and powerful conversation, you'll uncover:

• How to reclaim your identity when the world keeps trying to shrink you into a label.
• The truth about confidence: why waiting to feel “ready” is a lie — and what to do instead.
• How to find healing in the smallest circle of support, even if you feel utterly alone right now.

🎧 Listen now to gather the strength, tools, and courage to rebuild — not just survive — your life in a new land.

This compelling podcast dives into Expat and immigrant women stories. Those who immigrate to the USA, tackling the struggles of homesickness, identity crisis, and culture shock in the USA while adjusting to expat life and navigating cultural differences. Through conversations on starting over, reinventing yourself, self-help, belonging and finding purpose, it highlights success stories of women's tenacity, and the resilience of expat and immigrant experiences in the USA. It offers insights into bicultural identity, language barriers, and the challenges of living overseas. The podcast emphasizes the importance of a strong support system and mental health for personal growth and wellbeing for women in pursuit of the American dream.

https://www.instagram.com/theplaces_wecallhome

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
In this episode, you'll heartools that you can use now to
help you shift from feeling likea passive outsider to the author
of your own story.
Welcome to starting over in theUSA, the Expat Woman's Guide to
overcoming homesickness,embracing cultural differences,

(00:20):
and creating a new home awayfrom home.
On this podcast, we talk aboutleaving behind the familiar, you
know, the pangs of homesicknessand culture shock to the
journeys of reinventingyourself.
I'm Yolanda Reshemah.
And after relocating six times,I know firsthand what it's like
to start from scratch, feelinglike both a foreign child and a

(00:44):
foreign adult in a new world.
We are reframing some challengesthat come with moving abroad.
You'll learn four usefulstrategies.
Tips to help you define yourcultural identity before the
world tries to to take actioneven before you feel ready to to

(01:07):
understand why a micro supportsystem that sees you is a great
choice.
And the last strategy to beruthlessly resourceful.
Today's episode is inspired bythe incredible story of my
friend Zainab, a Palestinian andAfrican American woman who's a

(01:31):
scientist, a mother, now a wife,and she's the person who rebuilt
her life from scratch, herjourney is a masterclass in
resilience and I'm sharing fivepractical strategies that I've
drawn from our chat to help youreclaim your power, even when
the odds feel stacked againstyou.

(01:52):
Let's dive in.
The first strategy that I wantto talk about is that of
defining your own identitybefore the world tries to, I'm
thinking back to Zainab and shegrew up being too black for her
Palestinian town, not blackenough when she returned to the

(02:14):
US she seemed to have lived inthe in between, I would say, a
place where some of us findourselves, but here's what
Zainab did.
She stopped waiting for theworld to validate her.
She refused to live in that inbetween space as I describe it,

(02:34):
and she chose to define herself.
Zainab said in her own words, Iidentify as Palestinian African
American.
Maybe you've walked into a roomand wondered, do I belong here?
Maybe somebody's questioned youraccent, your name, your hair,

(02:56):
your choices to move.
Here are three things for you totry, it's what I do with my
daughter, and it works.
Write your own identitystatement.
You know, something like I am.
Fill in the blank and I belong.
Et cetera, et cetera.
It might feel very awkward atfirst, but just say it out loud

(03:19):
and let it become truth.
The context is simply that Ihave a young daughter and we're
in the process of helping herunderstand who she is as a human
being, first, we are helping herunderstand her value, her
talents, her character, but alsoher dual cultures.
I want her to know who she is asthe Lord intended and who her

(03:43):
people are, her ancestry, andthat anchors her in her courage
and gives her a bigger sense ofbelonging.
It's far too scary to allowsomebody else to define for her
who she is.
I couldn't bear that that personwould be able to define where
she belongs and ultimatelyimpacts what she's capable of

(04:04):
doing.
Of achieving.
That's a big no-no.
Like, I remind myself, I'llremind her how incredible she's,
and that is what Zainab did andwhat you are going to do.
Practice introducing yourselfwith pride, your accent, your
heritage, your complexity, allof it.

(04:25):
If somebody asks where you'refrom, just tell them with joy.
Don't apologize, verbally, inyour body language or in the
stories you tell yourself.
Embrace your layers.
You are not one dimensional butmultifaceted.
You are a mosaic of cultures andabilities and experiences and

(04:46):
dreams and, and that's whatmakes you so fab.
You know, Zainab told you howshe realized that elite spaces
in academia would benefit fromher being there.
That's an incredible mindset.
That's what we are building.
And I do have another personalcontext that drives my passion

(05:07):
for sharing this with you.
I tell my daughter, my darling,you are the shade of sunrise and
sunset.
You can wear many differentcolors like the wild flowers in
nature.
Don't hide.
Like them, we are free to travelboldly and safely, to take up
that space and live in it.
Let the world adjust to you notthe other way around.

(05:31):
The second strategy is takeaction before you feel ready.
That sounds a little bit crazy.
I un I understand.
But consider Zena's situation.
She didn't wait to feelconfident.
She learned English, applied forjobs enrolled in programs
without knowing how it was gonnaall work together.
She moved before she hadclarity, and that's the secret.

(05:52):
Clarity often follows actions.
Now this is a big lesson for me.
Because doing this podcast iscompletely outside of my comfort
zone, for ages, I simply wantedto have all the skills and all
the clarity before puttingmyself out there.
In other words, I wanted it tobe perfect, but that's not how
it works.

(06:13):
You've got to start.
You've got to make errors.
And you've got to learn from it.
Maybe you are staring at a jobapplication thinking I'm not
qualified or hesitating to joina local meetup group because
your English isn't perfect.
But here are three tips for youto put in action try applying

(06:34):
for something this week thatscares you.
Apply for a grant, a job, or acourse.
Even if you don't get it, youare going to learn something in
the process.
Treat entry level roles asstepping stones, as launchpads
and not careers.
And let go of perfectionism.
You don't need to be flawless tobe worthy.

(06:57):
You just need to be willing andlistening to myself say this
right now, I could cry honestly.
Because I'm talking to myself.
Do it, mess it up, learn fromit, and move ahead.
But so many of us here wanna getit right.
But just start messy.

(07:18):
Start scared.
Just do it.
We are both in the same boat.
And my third, strategy is tobuild a micro support system
that sees you, and here's thecontext.
When I finally took the plungeto do this podcast, one fellow
expat woman at my coworkingoffice, Chris, is her name, was

(07:39):
the person who helped me getover my fear, get my mindset
right just start, edit yourfirst episode, and post it.
Send it out there instead ofholding on and wanting it to be
perfect.
With her supporting me, seeingme, and encouraging me, I no

(08:00):
longer felt lost.
I no longer felt like I wasdoing it alone.
I see that you don't need amassive network.
You need one or two people whotruly see you.
And Zaina had a few friends andcoworkers and one
transformational mentor, andthat was enough for her.

(08:21):
So if you are the expat womanand you haven't made friends
yet, maybe your family doesn'tunderstand your choices, maybe
you feel like you are doing italone.

If that's you, try this: identify one person you can lean (08:30):
undefined
on or learn from consistently.
Could be a neighbor, could be acoworker.
Try joining a local or virtualgroup for international women
because there are so manycommunities out there, online

(08:51):
and physical communities, theyare waiting for people like you.
And in fact, I'm actually goingto create a connected community
here, but give me a little timeto get there.
The other thing you can trydoing is asking for help.
That's not weakness.
It's the smartest thing you cando, whether it's help for

(09:12):
childcare, somebody to translatea document for you, or somebody
to listen, just reach out tosomebody.
I also feel like it's a reallygood thing to have other people
witnessing your growth.
It's healing, it'stransformational, and it also
keeps you accountable.

(09:34):
The fourth strategy i'm thinkingof Zainab when I say this: be
ruthlessly resourceful.
She didn't grow up knowing howto become scientists.
No one in her circle had walkedthat path.
She asked questions sent boldemails and she figured it out.
Maybe you are trying to breakinto a field where there's no

(09:54):
one who looks like you, maybeyou are Googling scholarships at
midnight while you are kids areasleep.
Perhaps you are the expatimmigrant woman wondering if
it's too late to start over.
If that's you.
Try this.
Try making a list of free orfunded opportunities.
You know, like grants andfellowships, internships.

(10:15):
Start with one and apply for iteven if you think you won't get
it.
Just apply.
Reach out to somebody in yourdream field and ask, how did you
get started?
You would be surprised how manypeople are willing to share
their story, and don't wait forpermission.
You don't need perfectconditions to begin.

(10:38):
Be courageous enough to take upthe space that you dream of.
You can be the person who makesthe blueprint.
I think that's it for me today,if one of these strategies
resonates with you, I would loveto hear about it.
Leave a comment or share thisepisode with another immigrant

(10:59):
or expat woman who needs it.
You are making your life storyas you go along.
Nobody defines it for you.
You should never allow somebodyelse to determine who you are
and what you can do.
So until next time, keeplistening.