#28. Why Successful Women Struggle To Rebuild Identity Abroad. Here’s What You’re Facing

What would you sacrifice for love—your career, your culture, your entire community?

Dive into the story of Cristiani, a successful Brazilian entrepreneur who left behind her thriving design business, family, and culture to move to the U.S. for love. Her journey reveals the emotional challenges of starting over in a new country, balancing homesickness, cultural identity, and learning how to merge two very different worlds.

Just hit the play button, discover how to balance grief for what was left behind with the excitement of new opportunities, and why you’re not alone if you’re feeling divided between two worlds. 

This compelling podcast dives into Expat and immigrant women stories, people who immigrate to the USA, tackling the struggles of homesickness, identity crisis, and culture shock while adjusting to expat life and navigating cultural differences. Hear conversations on starting over, reinventing yourself, and finding purpose, it highlights success stories of women's tenacity, and the resilience of immigrants in the USA. It offers insights into bicultural identity, language barriers, and the challenges of living overseas. The podcast emphasizes the importance of a strong support system and wellbeing for women in pursuit of the American dream.

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
I've created starting over minimoments, the sweetest bits from
some favorite episodes for youto listen to while I'm on my
summer break.
So grab these tips, strategies,and mindset shifts to help you
with your decision to relocateto the USA.
Welcome to starting over in theUSA, the Expat Woman's Guide to

(00:23):
overcoming Homesickness,embracing cultural Differences,
and creating a new home awayfrom home.
On this podcast, we talk aboutleaving behind the familiar, the
pangs of homesickness andculture shock to the journeys of
reinventing yourself.
I'm Yolanda Reshemah.
After relocating six times, Iknow firsthand what it's like to

(00:45):
start from scratch feeling likeboth a foreign child and an
adult in a new world.
Today's story is one ofunexpected grace of sacrifice.
I really feel that it's a lessonin resilience because chris is
going to share what it reallymeans to uproot a thriving

(01:08):
business and to leave behindyour people and rebuild your
identity in a new land.
So expect woman, if you've everfelt torn between two homes, or
wondered how to hold onto yourdreams while starting over this
episode is for you.

(01:29):
My name is Christiani Diaz.
I am from Brazil and I'm herebecause that's where I found
love.
And my husband, he's an Americanand we met in Brazil 11 years
ago.
I met in Jericoacoara, moreknown as Jeri, We met at a party
in this beach town.
He asked if I wanted to teachhim how to dance forró, but he

(01:51):
asked me Portuguese and I wasintrigued.
And I know how important it isto be able to try when you're
learning a language, it's a bigeffort.
After a week of love and fun andjust being very light he had to
leave.
I thought, I'm sorry, I'mstaying here nice to have met
you.
See you later, yeah, totally.

(02:11):
No expectations.
And then he left.
He knew I was staying there andhe had more time.
He was on a long trip aroundBrazil, and so he decided to go
back to Jeri.
He took a bus from his cityback.
It's like, I don't know, 10hours.
Well, you left a goodimpression.
You made him happy.
I think so.
He came back and then he stayedwith me in the house because he

(02:35):
fell in love with you.
That's what it sounds like.
I'm just propelling this story.
i'm saying what I'm thinking.
I'm imagining he fell in lovewith you.
I think he fell in love.
Yes.
But so we stayed another weektogether and then it was time to
really go back to America In2016, he sent me a message

(02:56):
through Facebook saying that hewas going back to Brazil on
another trip.
To find you.
He didn't say that, otherwiseyou would probably think there's
a stalker, but it was reallyfun.
I had no idea what was going onin his life, his emotional life.
He didn't know anything about mylife.
You decided to get married whatwas that decision like to move

(03:17):
here?
Because as you just said, you'vegot a business over there.
You're an entrepreneur, you'rehighly successful, you're well
established in Brazil with yourceramics business, the whole
graphic design, you've got a bitof an empire going on.
Yeah.
I'm still working on that, onthis transition it took me a
long time to really understandthat I was moving.

(03:40):
Because when we were dating, Iwas always on a tourist visa.
To finally have my green cardand the permission to work and
live in the U.
S.
And like I said, I have so manyties to Brazil.
Cause I feel so fortunate.
I've always had really greatclients, great projects but
being here now, I feel, Oh mygosh, how do I manage?

(04:04):
So I'm still figuring out.
That's the next thing thattransition, making life here.
You had worked so very hard toestablish a very successful
life.
You chose love, to be with a manthat you absolutely adore.
So you're having to Reinventyourself again, I've made you

(04:28):
cry.
I'm sorry.
That's okay, I moved here forlove, but what I left there,
it's just so much.
All my friends, all my family,all that I've built, which is
really tied to Brazilianculture.
Yeah.
And I'm still trying to figureout how to transform that into
something that I can do here andhow to make that connection.

(04:52):
Is it connection with people?
Is it connection with yourself?
What's stopping you fromrebuilding what you had over
there?
I think first of all, it'sconnection with people I do have
friends who are chris friendsand wonderful people from
different backgrounds and doingdifferent things.
So I feel like I need to buildmy own network again.

(05:14):
It's a really a new beginning,but yeah, it gives me, it makes
really divided.
I still feel very divided.
Do I need to close my chapter inBrazil?
That just sounds so radical, sowhat I'm trying to figure out is
how to bring some of that lifethat I had in Brazil and connect

(05:35):
to some life here.
I'm trying to figure it outright now.
I'm going to start to work witha professional coach We'll see.
Dive into myself and figure itout with my new passions, my new
purpose, or how to transfer thispurpose.
Cause I've always worked for apurpose from a very early age.
That has been my focus and myhope, using communication,

(05:57):
advertising, graphic design, thecreativity, visual creativity to
promote this culture.
I feel like the Brazilianculture, as you've said it's
rich, it's challenging, i'd loveto momentarily experience it
through your eyes.
What Is it like to be in Brazil?

(06:17):
When you're there, what are youeating?
What are you listening?
How are you moving around?
Take me there for a day withyou.
First of all, I think Brazil isa very social place.
People, I learned that by beingabroad.
of how the serious Brazilianpeople take their social lives.
It's so much about meetingfriends and there's the party

(06:38):
aspect of it because we're verymusical I think people are very
social.
And when you say Brazilianmusic, you're talking about
samba.
Could be samba, bossa nova,samba rock.
We have our rock and roll.
We have our reggae.
We have, there is the countrymusic.
We have the forró, which is agenre as a dance and a rhythm.

(06:59):
We have frevo, which is anothertype of dance very common from
the Northeast, from Recife, fromthe state of Pernambuco.
What else?
Oh my gosh, from the north ofBrazil, the Amazon, they have
other rhythms like carimbo,which is beautiful as well.
I want to be there now.
I want to hear it.
I want to dance too.

(07:19):
I'd like to be there.
Chris, thank you for yourvulnerability and your honesty.
I feel like I've learned fromyou that starting over isn't a
single decision.
It's a series of brave choiceswe continually make in the face
of uncertainty every day.

(07:40):
Yes.
Even highly successful expatwomen struggle with identity
after moving abroad.
And whether you move for love oropportunity or like me chasing
the sun, you have taught usexpat women, that we are allowed
to grieve what we have leftbehind, embracing what's ahead.

(08:03):
So my expat woman, if today'sepisode resonated with you.
I would love it if you wouldshare it with somebody who's
navigating their own transition.
And remind yourself that we arenot alone.
You are not alone on thisjourney.
That we are building a communitytogether.

(08:25):
One story at a time.
That's it from me.have a lovelyday and enjoy whatever you do.