September 24, 2025 • 21 mins
Are you an expat woman starting over in the USA—and wondering why this transition feels harder than you expected?
Relocating abroad isn’t just about visas, moving boxes, and learning English. It’s about navigating homesickness, unspoken cultural codes, rebuilding your career, and figuring out how to belong in a place that doesn’t yet feel like home.
In this heartfelt episode, you’ll hear Karen Geva’s story of moving from Israel to California and discover:
- Why the hardest part of adapting abroad isn’t language—it’s behavior, mindset, and emotional rhythm because cultural difference goes beyond language
- Why home will no longer be the geographical location you left of memories and blood relations
- How Karen rebuilt her career and confidence in midlife, as a foreigner.
Download now to uncover the unfiltered truth about forging a new identity as an expat or immigrant—and gain the insights you need to thrive emotionally and mentally in your journey to the U.S.
To share your own migration story or feedback, email guest@Theplaceswecallhome.com
This compelling podcast dives into Expat and immigrant women (and men) stories. Those who immigrate to the USA, tackling the struggles of homesickness, identity crisis, and culture shock in the USA while adjusting to expat life and navigating cultural differences. Through conversations on starting over, reinventing yourself, and finding purpose, it highlights success stories of women's tenacity, and the resilience of expats in the USA. It offers insights into bicultural identity, language barriers, and the challenges of living overseas. The podcast emphasizes the importance of a strong support system and wellbeing for women in pursuit of the American dream.
https://www.instagram.com/theplaces_wecallhome
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Keep listening to this episodefor two powerful truths Every
expat woman needs to hear on whyhome isn't a location and why
the hardest part of adapting tolife abroad isn't just the
language Welcome to startingover in the USA, the Expat
Woman's Guide to overcominghomesickness, embracing cultural
differences, and creating a newhome away from home.
(00:25):
On this podcast, we talk aboutleaving behind the familiar, you
know, the pangs of homesicknessand culture shock to the
journeys of reinventingyourself.
I'm Yolanda Reshemah.
And after relocating six times,I know firsthand what it's like
to start from scratch, feelinglike both a foreign child and a
(00:45):
foreign adult in a new world.
now Wednesdays episodes are forreal conversations with expat
women who know what it means toimmigrate, you'll hear the
courage, and you'll hear thehealing.
We are meeting expat woman,Karen Geva, professional
(01:09):
organizer, wife, mom.
Originally from Israel.
You are going to walk away witha number of truths, but two in
particular the first is thathome isn't a location, it's your
people.
The second is that the hardestpart of adapting isn't the
(01:30):
words, meaning learning thelanguage, but it's about
behavior.
Let's dive in.
my name is Karen Geva and I amoriginally from Israel.
How long have you been in theus?
Almost four and a half years.
What was the thing that broughtyou I always say it's because of
(01:52):
my husband.
My husband opened his businessover 20 years ago here, and
because of the time differencebetween Israel and the states,
he used to work nights backhome, and at some point it
really affected him health wisewe talked about it that maybe we
(02:12):
should try and move here.
It took us 10 years of talking,building a family.
And then I said, okay, let's doit.
And here we are.
Four years later.
So you are really still very,very new.
I feel that I'm still very, verynew.
Yeah.
Did you have the opportunity totravel back and forth to the USA
(02:34):
before?
Yeah, it's my third time livingin the States.
It's the first time doing itwith family and kids, so that's
a very big difference.
That's a difference.
It's the first time.
Operating a business here.
Back in the days, I came, I wasvery young.
I came for a very short time of,not, not necessarily so sold,
(02:58):
one time I lived in, uh, theStates for four years.
Another time.
I lived a year, but it was mealone.
And, it's, it's a, it's adifferent experience.
Yeah, it is a differentexperience when you come here as
a solo traveler, single woman.
I went back with my husband andmy daughter to England for a
sabbatical.
(03:19):
It's very different.
Relocating.
With A child.
Yeah.
Still enjoyable, but I wouldlove to hear what life was like
for you in Israel.
What are the memories you havebeautiful memories.
A very beautiful country.
A lot of culture.
I love our holidays, ourtradition.
(03:40):
It's because it's such a smallcountry.
You really feel that.
You even feel the Sabbath, youknow, every Friday because the
whole country is.
It shuts down and everybody'skind of getting into the mood of
the weekend, although it's avery short weekend versus the
state.
You feel it in the air, yousmell it.
(04:01):
This is something I miss so mucheven the holidays time for us,
Rosh Hashanah, and then yomkippur and then we have our
souk, which is a, a structurethat we build and we eat there
and we're supposed to sleepthere.
But in Novato, it's cold, butthe traditional people, the
religious people do that.
It was wonderful.
It was my language.
(04:21):
It was my.
Spirit.
My friends and family, are stillthere.
I love Israel.
I had a very, beautifulchildhood, and adolescence and
growing up there, meeting myhusband and my kids were born
there.
I have to admit that I wish Iwas there, of course, to raise
my kids there and not here.
(04:42):
I feel that I belong there.
What were some of the bigchallenges when you moved here
or still dealing with now?
So the biggest challenge thefirst year was the difficult
one.
You are moving, I'm in my midforties.
Start all over again.
Meet new people, make friends.
(05:05):
At an age that most people arekind of settled in, okay, this
is my group of family, this ismy group of friends, and now you
kind of need to find your waybetween it and see where you
belong.
Different culture.
It's so different.
And getting used to the languagethat they speak here.
Not English, but the languageyou mean?
(05:26):
Ah, yes.
Speaking English.
Great.
No problem.
Most of the time.
And people are very, nice hereto foreigners because, most of
the America is foreigners, sothey're super nice and they
accepting the fact that yourEnglish is not perfect and it's
great, but the behavioralaspect.
(05:47):
The mentality here, thislanguage, I feel sometimes that
I'm still learning i'm a verydirect person.
I'm always gonna respect, I willnever offend anyone, come on,
let's make it more fun, moreeasygoing.
Not such a uptight, for example,to schedule play dates two weeks
ahead.
(06:08):
Like, my kids wanna play withyour child.
Now I'm home.
Stop by and come over forcoffee, for cake.
Let's make it fun.
Yes.
Even the food, the fact that,our, lunch here in the states is
our evening, like dinner, we eatvery light at dinner time and
(06:32):
they eat very heavy.
Yes.
Meat and rice and so it's veryopposite.
It was really super hard to,first of all find the right
place to live.
And then to find a school andthen to get familiar with
everything.
Our kids didn't speak English atall.
They came here at such a youngage.
My daughter was almost four.
(06:54):
My son was five and a half.
They only spoke Hebrew.
They needed to learn thelanguage and it brought,
different behaviors.
Especially with my son, hebecame a bit violent because he
couldn't.
He didn't know how to say pleasestop.
So it's like, not that again,after we got rid of it in
Israel, now it's coming back.
(07:15):
So it was a different transitionfor everyone.
I think my husband was theeasiest because in the last, 10
plus years, he has been goingback and forth for his business.
I haven't visited the statesprobably over 10 years, even,
even more.
And my kids was, never was, werenever here.
(07:36):
I had to shut down my businessin Israel.
I came here and said, okay, Iwant to work.
I love to work.
And I said, okay, I'm gonna openmy business here.
And it was another transition tounderstand.
How it's done here.
Because customer service here isvery different.
(07:58):
You talk about food, culturaldifferences the way people
behave, the way they eat.
Those were things that I too hadto learn, and I didn't expect
that because I thought one,English speaking country to the
next would be easy, but not atall.
And so you are so right.
I felt that.
I experienced it.
(08:19):
Cultural difference, it's real.
How did you make it work?
Because I'm very open-minded andI'm extroverted.
So for me to enter a room andstart chatting doesn't really
matter.
I speak English, I speak Hebrew.
Okay, whatever.
So for me it was much easierfor, I guess people that are
(08:41):
introverted.
I went to a small school, so Istarted to get to know people
and you were drawn to people youfeel safe with.
Yes.
And that's how I started.
And the people were super nicewhen I said, okay, I'm gonna
open my business here.
I said, okay, I know how it'sbeen done in Israel customer
service for me, I can do itanywhere.
(09:03):
You know, even if it's gonna bemaybe except China and Japan,
but I know how to speak withpeople.
Yeah, to talk with people how tobehave, how to respect.
So if you bring that okay,number one, checked.
Now.
The terminology of items, ofstuff, of things, of the rules,
how things are being done.
(09:23):
That took me a while to learn.
I did that only after applyingfor jobs with other organizers.
I found a big company.
And I started working with themand with some other organizers
that gave me a chance and I toldthem, I'm new here.
I don't know anyone.
I have zero clients, so let'sjust start rolling.
(09:47):
And I learned a lot from that,watching how things have been
done.
And slowly I met more peoplethat introduced me to local.
Business things like the Chamberof Commerce of my city and I
started going., I believe whenyou open yourself to the world,
(10:09):
you are manifesting and thingsare gonna start coming.
And slowly I met, I called themangels.
Along my path.
And they said, Hey, you shouldcome and see this place and
check this group.
And that's what I started doing,i've been here for plus years
and I did that in Israel 10, 10years.
(10:31):
So it's exactly what I did whenI opened my business in Israel.
I started building a community,business one, which some of them
became my friends on a personallevel, and of course from
school.
My husband, because he is beenhere for so many years, he has
his old long time friends.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, a lot of them are Israelisand he introduced some to me and
(10:55):
some became my friends.
It took time and I still feelthat I'm struggling.
Building a community.
But I feel That when you move,to any country, don't expect to
slip into an already establishedcommunity, you might not be
accepted.
(11:16):
And that's just normal.
It's a matter of building aroundyou, a community of people who
feed you in all the ways youneed to be fed emotionally,
psychologically, who listen toyou, who will return your calls,
who come and search for you, andall of these different aspects.
.There is something reallyimportant about the transition
(11:36):
of creating your business here.
The professional side of you,did you really feel like you
were starting again yes and no,because.
I have 10 years of experiencewith me.
I'm bringing this bundle.
No one can take it from me.
And organizing is organizing.
When someone is moving, he ismoving.
(11:58):
It's the same thing everywhere.
The nuances I needed to learncultural.
The way I behave in Israel withmy clients or they behave with
me is completely different thanhow people due.
Business here.
(12:18):
In Israel, we're again, muchmore open.
Here it's a lot of the timesit's very like this, you need to
fit yourself into this kind of,okay, this is how we work here.
Some people more than others,some people they're more open.
It's like everywhere.
It's not that we don't have thatin Israel, but the majority of
the mentality is very different.
(12:41):
This is one aspect of thebusiness that I needed to learn,
how to approach.
For example, when I, communicatewith them via text or email, I'm
translating from Hebrew toEnglish.
It doesn't work.
My grammar is not the best, so Ineeded to use whatever tools
(13:01):
that I can, be professional whenI'm writing.
A business email.
And at some point my husbandsaid, you cannot ask that if
they're gonna meet you, like,let's meet on Monday at nine.
You need to ask would it workfor you to meet on Monday at
nine?
And I, it, it took me time tolike, why do I have to ask
everything?
Why would said that's what'sgonna do.
(13:24):
Let's do it.
And he said it doesn't work likethat.
It took me a while, what's thefunny thing that the last time I
visited my country, Israel, Ibrought this behavior and it's
like, what?
Who are you?
And what did you do with Karen?
I would never be direct to apoint that I'm gonna offend
(13:46):
anyone, but this is the way wedo it.
That was funny at the, that wasreally a big struggle for me's.
Like, why can't I just say stuffin a nice way, but just say it.
Why do I need to go like this?
I'm not that kind of person.
Sometimes I was kind of mad andat some points I was just
laughing about it.
(14:06):
Now I'm very good at thatbecause I've taught myself how
to approach people here.
In Israel I knew what I neededto do.
It was more simple.
Maybe because it was in mylanguage versus here, America is
really like.
You have to pay your taxesbecause if not, and in Israel,
(14:27):
it's like, oh, whatever.
It's not that you're not gonna,get into trouble if you're not
gonna pay taxes.
We're bending the rules a littlebit more, which I'm not for, by
the way.
I like the fact that there isrule here because I'm a person
of rules.
I know what I need to do.
So with this aspect, I feel goodin America.
(14:48):
This is the first time I'mrealizing it sounds like there's
a Karen in Israel and there's aKaren in the US well, I am who I
am.
I'm not, acting as a differentperson.
I always say, this is who I am.
You can like it and you candislike it.
(15:10):
You can choose to be around meand my friend or my, client and
you can choose not to.
It's fine because I think theright people will come to my
life, and the one that is notsupposed to be there, they will
continue and I'm fine with that.
I think I'm bringing, a charmbecause I'm bringing myself to
(15:36):
this place.
I'm adapting myself to thesituation.
So if you're gonna see me withmy Israelis friends, you're
gonna see a, a bit of adifferent Karen, because they
get me.
We speak the same language whenI'm bringing myself to an event.
That is American I will maintaina specific, way I am carrying
(16:01):
myself because I don't wannaoffend anyone.
It's always gonna come from therespect aspect.
You need to make sure thatyou're saying the right things,
that you're not crossing theboundaries that you're asking
the right questions.
Maybe you shouldn't ask that.
I had a few times that I saidsomething and then I said, oh.
(16:25):
Did I said something wrong and Iapologized.
I said, I'm so sorry if Icrossed the boundaries.
I said, no, no, you are good.
Does it feel pressured tomaintain that?
And makes, the experience ofliving here a little bit more,
weighty.
Sometimes.
Yeah.
At the beginning it was reallyhard.
(16:45):
I felt that I'm not me, it wasreally, really hard.
It's like if people cannotaccept me the way I am, and I'm
not saying they didn't, by theway, I guess it's my high
awareness of others and myhusband that was like, you
cannot do this.
You cannot say that.
You cannot behave, da da da da,he was careful for you,
frightened for you.
Yeah.
Anxious for you so that you canhave a good experience.
(17:07):
Right?
Yeah.
Would you say you have createdhome here in the US yes, I have
I believe that your home iswhere your family is.
So if it's here, Israel,Zimbabwe, South Africa or
Poland, doesn't really matter.
It's your own core people, in mycase, my husband and my two
(17:30):
kids, this is the start point.
I do feel that I was, able tobuild a home here.
I'm not gonna lie and say that Idon't miss anything in Israel,
because I do.
After the first year, that wasreally hard.
It was terrible.
I was sad.
(17:50):
I didn't wanna be here.
I used to be a very cheerfulperson, very positive.
And after this one year, I said,okay, that's it.
You're done.
This is where you live now.
You cannot think of when I'mgonna go back home, because you
never know when it's gonnahappen.
So you are here now.
There are wonderful things herein the state.
(18:12):
Beautiful.
Enjoy it, embrace it.
So enjoy your holidays and enjoythe American holidays.
It's fun.
Karen, thank you for depositingso much in my heart this brings
me back to our first takeawayhome is where your people are.
Karen talked so beautifullyabout growing up in Israel, home
(18:33):
for her isn't only Israel andthe memories of growing up there
but the presence of her husbandand her children, and that
mirrors what so many of us expatwomen feel about the struggle we
have in articulating this newplace being considered a home.
(18:55):
I feel I've just experiencedthat referring to the US as
home.
I missed everything that we hadbuilt here in the US while I was
in England with my family withvery old memories.
The second takeaway (19:12):
why cultural difference more than
the language.
It's the behavior.
Karen demonstrated this sobeautifully.
Her struggle wasn't just Englishitself, but it was with the
invisible codes of Americaninteractions and how people
perform or acted in front ofeach other.
(19:32):
It's the indirect communication.
It's the scheduling norms andthe habits it's a reminder for
you and me that even if wearrived in our adopted country,
fully fluent in that country'slanguage, it's perfectly normal
to experience feeling a littlebit lost.
(19:53):
My husband and I were justsharing a joke about how
different cultures communicate.
For example, here in the US it'spretty common to hear a coach or
a boss say, yeah, great job,well done.
However, in England, a boss or acoach might say well, it wasn't
terrible, meaning it wasn'tdisastrous.
(20:17):
It was okay.
Or on the other hand, it wasn'tterrible.
It was really good.
And only time alone will helpyou understand whether you are
being paid a fabulous complimentor you are being let down
gently.
It's layered and it's a journey.
(20:38):
That's it from me.
If you enjoy this episode, sharethe link with an expat woman
friend who needs to be a part ofthis community.
In the meantime, i'm invitingyou to listen to episode 10,
three Powerful lessons ExpectWomen Learn from Homesickness
and Cultural Differences in theUSA bye-bye.
Keep listening to this episodefor two powerful truths Every
expat woman needs to hear on whyhome isn't a location and why
the hardest part of adapting tolife abroad isn't just the
language Welcome to startingover in the USA, the Expat
Woman's Guide to overcominghomesickness, embracing cultural
differences, and creating a newhome away from home.
(00:25):
On this podcast, we talk aboutleaving behind the familiar, you
know, the pangs of homesicknessand culture shock to the
journeys of reinventingyourself.
I'm Yolanda Reshemah.
And after relocating six times,I know firsthand what it's like
to start from scratch, feelinglike both a foreign child and a
(00:45):
foreign adult in a new world.
now Wednesdays episodes are forreal conversations with expat
women who know what it means toimmigrate, you'll hear the
courage, and you'll hear thehealing.
We are meeting expat woman,Karen Geva, professional
(01:09):
organizer, wife, mom.
Originally from Israel.
You are going to walk away witha number of truths, but two in
particular the first is thathome isn't a location, it's your
people.
The second is that the hardestpart of adapting isn't the
(01:30):
words, meaning learning thelanguage, but it's about
behavior.
Let's dive in.
my name is Karen Geva and I amoriginally from Israel.
How long have you been in theus?
Almost four and a half years.
What was the thing that broughtyou I always say it's because of
(01:52):
my husband.
My husband opened his businessover 20 years ago here, and
because of the time differencebetween Israel and the states,
he used to work nights backhome, and at some point it
really affected him health wisewe talked about it that maybe we
(02:12):
should try and move here.
It took us 10 years of talking,building a family.
And then I said, okay, let's doit.
And here we are.
Four years later.
So you are really still very,very new.
I feel that I'm still very, verynew.
Yeah.
Did you have the opportunity totravel back and forth to the USA
(02:34):
before?
Yeah, it's my third time livingin the States.
It's the first time doing itwith family and kids, so that's
a very big difference.
That's a difference.
It's the first time.
Operating a business here.
Back in the days, I came, I wasvery young.
I came for a very short time of,not, not necessarily so sold,
(02:58):
one time I lived in, uh, theStates for four years.
Another time.
I lived a year, but it was mealone.
And, it's, it's a, it's adifferent experience.
Yeah, it is a differentexperience when you come here as
a solo traveler, single woman.
I went back with my husband andmy daughter to England for a
sabbatical.
(03:19):
It's very different.
Relocating.
With A child.
Yeah.
Still enjoyable, but I wouldlove to hear what life was like
for you in Israel.
What are the memories you havebeautiful memories.
A very beautiful country.
A lot of culture.
I love our holidays, ourtradition.
(03:40):
It's because it's such a smallcountry.
You really feel that.
You even feel the Sabbath, youknow, every Friday because the
whole country is.
It shuts down and everybody'skind of getting into the mood of
the weekend, although it's avery short weekend versus the
state.
You feel it in the air, yousmell it.
(04:01):
This is something I miss so mucheven the holidays time for us,
Rosh Hashanah, and then yomkippur and then we have our
souk, which is a, a structurethat we build and we eat there
and we're supposed to sleepthere.
But in Novato, it's cold, butthe traditional people, the
religious people do that.
It was wonderful.
It was my language.
(04:21):
It was my.
Spirit.
My friends and family, are stillthere.
I love Israel.
I had a very, beautifulchildhood, and adolescence and
growing up there, meeting myhusband and my kids were born
there.
I have to admit that I wish Iwas there, of course, to raise
my kids there and not here.
(04:42):
I feel that I belong there.
What were some of the bigchallenges when you moved here
or still dealing with now?
So the biggest challenge thefirst year was the difficult
one.
You are moving, I'm in my midforties.
Start all over again.
Meet new people, make friends.
(05:05):
At an age that most people arekind of settled in, okay, this
is my group of family, this ismy group of friends, and now you
kind of need to find your waybetween it and see where you
belong.
Different culture.
It's so different.
And getting used to the languagethat they speak here.
Not English, but the languageyou mean?
(05:26):
Ah, yes.
Speaking English.
Great.
No problem.
Most of the time.
And people are very, nice hereto foreigners because, most of
the America is foreigners, sothey're super nice and they
accepting the fact that yourEnglish is not perfect and it's
great, but the behavioralaspect.
(05:47):
The mentality here, thislanguage, I feel sometimes that
I'm still learning i'm a verydirect person.
I'm always gonna respect, I willnever offend anyone, come on,
let's make it more fun, moreeasygoing.
Not such a uptight, for example,to schedule play dates two weeks
ahead.
(06:08):
Like, my kids wanna play withyour child.
Now I'm home.
Stop by and come over forcoffee, for cake.
Let's make it fun.
Yes.
Even the food, the fact that,our, lunch here in the states is
our evening, like dinner, we eatvery light at dinner time and
(06:32):
they eat very heavy.
Yes.
Meat and rice and so it's veryopposite.
It was really super hard to,first of all find the right
place to live.
And then to find a school andthen to get familiar with
everything.
Our kids didn't speak English atall.
They came here at such a youngage.
My daughter was almost four.
(06:54):
My son was five and a half.
They only spoke Hebrew.
They needed to learn thelanguage and it brought,
different behaviors.
Especially with my son, hebecame a bit violent because he
couldn't.
He didn't know how to say pleasestop.
So it's like, not that again,after we got rid of it in
Israel, now it's coming back.
(07:15):
So it was a different transitionfor everyone.
I think my husband was theeasiest because in the last, 10
plus years, he has been goingback and forth for his business.
I haven't visited the statesprobably over 10 years, even,
even more.
And my kids was, never was, werenever here.
(07:36):
I had to shut down my businessin Israel.
I came here and said, okay, Iwant to work.
I love to work.
And I said, okay, I'm gonna openmy business here.
And it was another transition tounderstand.
How it's done here.
Because customer service here isvery different.
(07:58):
You talk about food, culturaldifferences the way people
behave, the way they eat.
Those were things that I too hadto learn, and I didn't expect
that because I thought one,English speaking country to the
next would be easy, but not atall.
And so you are so right.
I felt that.
I experienced it.
(08:19):
Cultural difference, it's real.
How did you make it work?
Because I'm very open-minded andI'm extroverted.
So for me to enter a room andstart chatting doesn't really
matter.
I speak English, I speak Hebrew.
Okay, whatever.
So for me it was much easierfor, I guess people that are
(08:41):
introverted.
I went to a small school, so Istarted to get to know people
and you were drawn to people youfeel safe with.
Yes.
And that's how I started.
And the people were super nicewhen I said, okay, I'm gonna
open my business here.
I said, okay, I know how it'sbeen done in Israel customer
service for me, I can do itanywhere.
(09:03):
You know, even if it's gonna bemaybe except China and Japan,
but I know how to speak withpeople.
Yeah, to talk with people how tobehave, how to respect.
So if you bring that okay,number one, checked.
Now.
The terminology of items, ofstuff, of things, of the rules,
how things are being done.
(09:23):
That took me a while to learn.
I did that only after applyingfor jobs with other organizers.
I found a big company.
And I started working with themand with some other organizers
that gave me a chance and I toldthem, I'm new here.
I don't know anyone.
I have zero clients, so let'sjust start rolling.
(09:47):
And I learned a lot from that,watching how things have been
done.
And slowly I met more peoplethat introduced me to local.
Business things like the Chamberof Commerce of my city and I
started going., I believe whenyou open yourself to the world,
(10:09):
you are manifesting and thingsare gonna start coming.
And slowly I met, I called themangels.
Along my path.
And they said, Hey, you shouldcome and see this place and
check this group.
And that's what I started doing,i've been here for plus years
and I did that in Israel 10, 10years.
(10:31):
So it's exactly what I did whenI opened my business in Israel.
I started building a community,business one, which some of them
became my friends on a personallevel, and of course from
school.
My husband, because he is beenhere for so many years, he has
his old long time friends.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, a lot of them are Israelisand he introduced some to me and
(10:55):
some became my friends.
It took time and I still feelthat I'm struggling.
Building a community.
But I feel That when you move,to any country, don't expect to
slip into an already establishedcommunity, you might not be
accepted.
(11:16):
And that's just normal.
It's a matter of building aroundyou, a community of people who
feed you in all the ways youneed to be fed emotionally,
psychologically, who listen toyou, who will return your calls,
who come and search for you, andall of these different aspects.
.There is something reallyimportant about the transition
(11:36):
of creating your business here.
The professional side of you,did you really feel like you
were starting again yes and no,because.
I have 10 years of experiencewith me.
I'm bringing this bundle.
No one can take it from me.
And organizing is organizing.
When someone is moving, he ismoving.
(11:58):
It's the same thing everywhere.
The nuances I needed to learncultural.
The way I behave in Israel withmy clients or they behave with
me is completely different thanhow people due.
Business here.
(12:18):
In Israel, we're again, muchmore open.
Here it's a lot of the timesit's very like this, you need to
fit yourself into this kind of,okay, this is how we work here.
Some people more than others,some people they're more open.
It's like everywhere.
It's not that we don't have thatin Israel, but the majority of
the mentality is very different.
(12:41):
This is one aspect of thebusiness that I needed to learn,
how to approach.
For example, when I, communicatewith them via text or email, I'm
translating from Hebrew toEnglish.
It doesn't work.
My grammar is not the best, so Ineeded to use whatever tools
(13:01):
that I can, be professional whenI'm writing.
A business email.
And at some point my husbandsaid, you cannot ask that if
they're gonna meet you, like,let's meet on Monday at nine.
You need to ask would it workfor you to meet on Monday at
nine?
And I, it, it took me time tolike, why do I have to ask
everything?
Why would said that's what'sgonna do.
(13:24):
Let's do it.
And he said it doesn't work likethat.
It took me a while, what's thefunny thing that the last time I
visited my country, Israel, Ibrought this behavior and it's
like, what?
Who are you?
And what did you do with Karen?
I would never be direct to apoint that I'm gonna offend
(13:46):
anyone, but this is the way wedo it.
That was funny at the, that wasreally a big struggle for me's.
Like, why can't I just say stuffin a nice way, but just say it.
Why do I need to go like this?
I'm not that kind of person.
Sometimes I was kind of mad andat some points I was just
laughing about it.
(14:06):
Now I'm very good at thatbecause I've taught myself how
to approach people here.
In Israel I knew what I neededto do.
It was more simple.
Maybe because it was in mylanguage versus here, America is
really like.
You have to pay your taxesbecause if not, and in Israel,
(14:27):
it's like, oh, whatever.
It's not that you're not gonna,get into trouble if you're not
gonna pay taxes.
We're bending the rules a littlebit more, which I'm not for, by
the way.
I like the fact that there isrule here because I'm a person
of rules.
I know what I need to do.
So with this aspect, I feel goodin America.
(14:48):
This is the first time I'mrealizing it sounds like there's
a Karen in Israel and there's aKaren in the US well, I am who I
am.
I'm not, acting as a differentperson.
I always say, this is who I am.
You can like it and you candislike it.
(15:10):
You can choose to be around meand my friend or my, client and
you can choose not to.
It's fine because I think theright people will come to my
life, and the one that is notsupposed to be there, they will
continue and I'm fine with that.
I think I'm bringing, a charmbecause I'm bringing myself to
(15:36):
this place.
I'm adapting myself to thesituation.
So if you're gonna see me withmy Israelis friends, you're
gonna see a, a bit of adifferent Karen, because they
get me.
We speak the same language whenI'm bringing myself to an event.
That is American I will maintaina specific, way I am carrying
(16:01):
myself because I don't wannaoffend anyone.
It's always gonna come from therespect aspect.
You need to make sure thatyou're saying the right things,
that you're not crossing theboundaries that you're asking
the right questions.
Maybe you shouldn't ask that.
I had a few times that I saidsomething and then I said, oh.
(16:25):
Did I said something wrong and Iapologized.
I said, I'm so sorry if Icrossed the boundaries.
I said, no, no, you are good.
Does it feel pressured tomaintain that?
And makes, the experience ofliving here a little bit more,
weighty.
Sometimes.
Yeah.
At the beginning it was reallyhard.
(16:45):
I felt that I'm not me, it wasreally, really hard.
It's like if people cannotaccept me the way I am, and I'm
not saying they didn't, by theway, I guess it's my high
awareness of others and myhusband that was like, you
cannot do this.
You cannot say that.
You cannot behave, da da da da,he was careful for you,
frightened for you.
Yeah.
Anxious for you so that you canhave a good experience.
(17:07):
Right?
Yeah.
Would you say you have createdhome here in the US yes, I have
I believe that your home iswhere your family is.
So if it's here, Israel,Zimbabwe, South Africa or
Poland, doesn't really matter.
It's your own core people, in mycase, my husband and my two
(17:30):
kids, this is the start point.
I do feel that I was, able tobuild a home here.
I'm not gonna lie and say that Idon't miss anything in Israel,
because I do.
After the first year, that wasreally hard.
It was terrible.
I was sad.
(17:50):
I didn't wanna be here.
I used to be a very cheerfulperson, very positive.
And after this one year, I said,okay, that's it.
You're done.
This is where you live now.
You cannot think of when I'mgonna go back home, because you
never know when it's gonnahappen.
So you are here now.
There are wonderful things herein the state.
(18:12):
Beautiful.
Enjoy it, embrace it.
So enjoy your holidays and enjoythe American holidays.
It's fun.
Karen, thank you for depositingso much in my heart this brings
me back to our first takeawayhome is where your people are.
Karen talked so beautifullyabout growing up in Israel, home
(18:33):
for her isn't only Israel andthe memories of growing up there
but the presence of her husbandand her children, and that
mirrors what so many of us expatwomen feel about the struggle we
have in articulating this newplace being considered a home.
(18:55):
I feel I've just experiencedthat referring to the US as
home.
I missed everything that we hadbuilt here in the US while I was
in England with my family withvery old memories.
The second takeaway (19:12):
why cultural difference more than
the language.
It's the behavior.
Karen demonstrated this sobeautifully.
Her struggle wasn't just Englishitself, but it was with the
invisible codes of Americaninteractions and how people
perform or acted in front ofeach other.
(19:32):
It's the indirect communication.
It's the scheduling norms andthe habits it's a reminder for
you and me that even if wearrived in our adopted country,
fully fluent in that country'slanguage, it's perfectly normal
to experience feeling a littlebit lost.
(19:53):
My husband and I were justsharing a joke about how
different cultures communicate.
For example, here in the US it'spretty common to hear a coach or
a boss say, yeah, great job,well done.
However, in England, a boss or acoach might say well, it wasn't
terrible, meaning it wasn'tdisastrous.
(20:17):
It was okay.
Or on the other hand, it wasn'tterrible.
It was really good.
And only time alone will helpyou understand whether you are
being paid a fabulous complimentor you are being let down
gently.
It's layered and it's a journey.
(20:38):
That's it from me.
If you enjoy this episode, sharethe link with an expat woman
friend who needs to be a part ofthis community.
In the meantime, i'm invitingyou to listen to episode 10,
three Powerful lessons ExpectWomen Learn from Homesickness
and Cultural Differences in theUSA bye-bye.
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